You Deserve Love: Despite What the Church Told You
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- čas přidán 28. 10. 2020
- This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. The church is constantly telling us that we are not worthy or undeserving of god’s love and grace. Is this a healthy thing to hear over and over again?
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I couldn’t even imagine Mr. Rogers telling his tv audience, “All you watching me now deserve hell.”
He was one of the good christians who taught the Bibles values without force religion in it.
@@mist0098 "He was one of the good christians who taught the Bibles values without force religion in it."
So he executed the non-believers on stage?
@@rageofheaven wtf. I hope your joking.....I’ve read the Bible in it’s original language, it’s Greek form and it’s Latin form, and though it really isn’t perfect I know that it would be insane to suggest Jesus wanted the suffering of others . I am so tired of Christians twisting the Bible to fit their own ideology, and if you believe that people should die for their “sins” then your just wrong
@@aislingcavanaugh1902 Do you know what sarcasm is?
@@rageofheaven you could have used a tonal indicator to show that you were being sarcastic.
And if that doesn't work for you, then you shouldn't just except people to immediately recognize that you were being sarcastic through a screen.
I feel like a lot of these Christian parodies are the music equivalent of the quote "graphic design is my passion"
I don't get it. How is graphic designing not a passion?
@@godzilla964 it's somewhat of a cliché where people with no training in graphic design whatsoever claim "its a passion of theirs" and then make some God awful crap. And these parodies are the music equivalent of that
@@ng_reed Oh.
Truer words have never been said
Not these "groups" taking the spice out of these poor originals x3
As a trans person who was apart of a evangelical southern baptist church, I needed to hear this. Thank you.
You are beautiful!
Great.
At Trinity Episcopal Cathedral downtown Cleveland, Ohio, there was a trans woman who was valued and accepted. She was often the lector who did the gospel readings on Sunday. When she moved away, everybody was sad. You can find love and acceptance, just not at evangelical or catholic churches.
"Love god by hating yourself"
Because you have flaws and god loves you despite them.
First thing love doesn't work like that at all, but this is a pretty good way to get in a toxic relationship.
If you love something because you hate yourself, or that person is better than you in your presumptions.
It's literally manipulation one o one.
I just can't believe how blind these people are.
They don't even understand how love works or what devotion is.
But they call.themselves holy and religious.
Oh shit good for you
"Even at twelve years old it affected me..."
No...it affected you *because* you were only twelve years old. If you want someone to hate themself, teaching them as a child that even the good they do is like worthless rags is a great way to make sure you succeed.
That clip made me so sad. So many religious people were once children that simply got indoctrinated by these toxic beliefs and internalized the idea that they are worthless without god.
yeah thats child abuse if you ask me
If this is God’s “love”, he’s basically an emotionally abusive boyfriend.
@ShreddingSkeptic
If that's how we Christians make him sound then we have failed.
That’s EXACTLY what he is! It must be said.
the church is called the bride of christ
@@mist0098 Ive always kinda felt that kinda makes it sound very possessive. Little wonder so many make excuses for God being so damn jealous. It doesn’t help their case when they use special pleading by basically chalking it up to “because he’s gaaawwwwd”.
@@DemonicRemption the bible itself portrays god like that. Christians aren't "failing" at portraying how god is, they just aren't capable of seeing it objectively because they've been trained not to.
If the character and deeds of your god were assigned to anyone else you'd recognise the problems immediately.
But because it's your god....you try to come up with justifications and excuses or worse yet...blame yourselves.
Just like a battered housewife.
So much pressure was taken off my shoulders when I walked away from religion, it took me a few months to stop thanking god for car parks and green lights but I refuse to belittle my self and train my children that they are ‘broken’ just for existing . It’s bull shit, if I was created broken then I am not at fault. Not my problem if a creator fucked up. It’s gaslighting
Yes. Im just learning the terminology for narcissism in the last year ...and yes, so many narcissistic teaching fit right into the religion going right back to the earliest scriptures we've inherited were written. Some people will shrug it off as a modern phenomenon but it starts with whoever actually put the scriptures together.
The strange thing is i started to figure this out intuitively way back in 1990. I stopped attending church at that time.
Too, back then I'm thinking there wasn't so much understanding of narcissism. 👍
I know, right? It's so freeing to leave after being told that for years!
I agree!!!
You're ablelist
Understantment of a millenium.
I cried at hearing that I deserve love. I was a suicidal teenager because of how harmful the message of "you don't deserve love" was in the church and I seemed to just hurt everyone around me (later found out they acted that way as a manipulation). I thought I deserved to burn in hell for all eternity because I was some sort of monster. It was a relief to let go of christianity and find my own self worth and am a very happy person now.
You deserve love
You deserve love. You are valuable. You ARE loved. By me.. (And I EXIST!) I have absolutely no idea who you are, but I love you, because you're a human being.
I can tell you that, and God can't.. So I'd say, fuck God.. We don't need him to tell us that we're undeserving, when he can't even speak for himself.
Hell yea! The internet hive-mind loves you and values your existence, you beautiful mother fu-
German ex christian here. Our church always taught us love. God loves us just like Jesus does and they forgive always. The church taught me to love others and accept them for who they are.
This is the message Jesus was teaching and this is what Christianity all around the world should be. Unconditional love. All other christian churches are bastardized versions of the true christian belief of forgiveness and loving the next person.
I accept you and I love you
for you and I are brothers and sisters of god
made in his image
and made to love and forgive.
@@Stachelbeeerchen yeah that is what jesus taught but there are verses where he says to hate everyone including yourself if you want to become his disciple well what do you know the bible contradicting itself what else is new?
*These people:* "We are all made in God's image"
*Also these people:* "We suck at our very essence and don't deserve God's love"
Honestly, growing up in church, going from learning "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" as a kid to learning "I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it" as a teen never really sat right with me. Looking back, it was probably one of the first things that caused me to question my faith
i wonder, then, if this is why abusive relationships of all kinds seem normalized in the church.
It'd be tough to prove it, but I think you may be on to something.
I saw a similar thought on a similar channel to this one. That many of the people involved in the church being corrupt and sinful can only 'get away' with it in 2 ways. Either by redefining immoral behaviour as moral, such as "for your own good" shock therapy to 'cure' homosexuality.
And the other way, is to portray the sin as not your choice, but as an inevitability. Hence why they insist that humans are awful, sinful creatures innately, and that to be pure is a noble struggle, and not something you start as. That way they can 'repent' afterwards, and be technically clear of all sin. To them, they weren't an awful person, they just succumbed to their base vile human instincts, and as such are no more fair to blame that it would be to blame a lion for killing for food.
No surprise they indoctrinate this early by telling everyone they have no value, but god loves them anyway. That way if something awful happens to them, 'well you aren't deserving of perfection, you're only human', or that the person (likely pastor) doing it, simply is having a divine struggle to stay pure, and therefore can't be blamed. In fact some go as far as to make the victims forgive their abusers, because jesus forgives all, so you should too.
The idea of being worth nothing but being loved nonetheless can only result in bad things. Either you truly believe you are worthless, and become depressed and anxious. Or you truly believe you will be loved no matter what, and so see no shame in committing heinous acts, because you know god will forgive anyway.
Absolutely.
What a chilling, sobering truth.
yes
It's actually funny really, as from my Christian upbringing in Nigeria, these words always came up, "I'm fearfully and wonderfully made", but when I grew up and got exposed to evangelicalism here, I heard those words less and less and more of this "I am a wretched person but God loves me anyway" talk, Where did we disconnect so badly from this?
In short, it's a culture war thing. When churches began defining themselves in opposition to "modern culture," they locked themselves into opposing the ongoing work of mental health and wellness and into equating "tough love" with God's Will. This cascades into purity culture (which enshrines self-deprivation), which cascades into toxic marriages (because you're always the one at fault), which cascades into child abuse (because you can't let your kids disrespect you and you do that through fear and shame because that's how you were taught). If churches stopped equating "modern culture" with all things evil and wretched, then maybe they could learn some things about what healthy relationships with yourself and others look like.
Wow no wonder those people are so evil and cruel, they literally let the evil ones take over by saying that everyone's evil and it's ok! God loves you the WORSE you are. Jesus these religious people deluded themselves all the way into worshipping the devil lmaooo I'm so glad I'm not a part of that. Used to be atheist now I'm more of a universalist
@@williamchristensen7354
Citation for all of this,because as a Christian I've noticed the twisted disconnect since I was a kid. It was when I was a teenager that I started questioning it, and even satirized it in a book series I need to finish.
But I'm asking for citations, because your comment answers that nagging question, and I just need confirmation. Assuming there's any researched sources to be found.
I've literally once had a confrontation with this hardcore Christian on the internet who, in his own words, said that humans are "disgusting retchs and low down dog's worthy of Hellfire."
Now, I'm definitely a Christian, and I openly disagreed with what he was saying, even going to far as to let my disagreement of his words be known by replying to his comments. I also included bible verses to back up my case as to why his behavior was un-Christlike. But this man also had the audacity to call me a heretic who was "of Satan" just because whenever I recited bible verses to him, I wasn't using the King James Version.
He also said that I was using a "counterfeit" and "effeminate" translation of the Bible, and that the only correct English translation was the KJV. To cite his claim, he used a quote from the Literary Supplement of the London Times, from July 4, 1918. Yeah... you read that right. 1918. I'm sorry, why should I blindly believe in a claim about biblical translation that was made EXACTLY 100 YEARS AGO? Gosh, this guy.
One stupid thing that he said to me was, "you sound like a sweet person who means well but has a problem with GOD as a consuming fire and forgets GOD is right and your way IS NOT THE WAY."
(Evangelical conservatives really don't know how to use punctuation for some reason.)
But here's the thing. I don't have a problem with God, I just have a problem with this man's treatment of other people. Christ calls us to be loving even to those we disagree with. He literally says that we should love our enemies, and do good to them without wishing for anything in return. But this individual is just being downright judgey and hateful while using God as means to justify it.
I'm still affected by that conversation, and I disagree with it, a lot. The version of God that he envisions in his head is not the same one that I follow. Yeah, God is the ultimate judge of sin without a doubt, but that's not all he is. There's a side of him that loves far more than any of us could possibly understand. And yet, people portray him to be this almost monstrous and hateful being that has no qualms with throwing his own children away. This is the kind of thing that inoculates people away from God, and an especially serious problem with American Christianity.
Im from Nigeria as well. It's incredibly ridiculous here
“I love you even though you don’t deserve my love” is such a horrible thing to say to someone!
It doesn't even make sense! It's not possible to believe that someone doesn't deserve love when YOU LOVE THEM. If you love them, obviously you believe they deserve love. If you believe they don't deserve love, then obviously you don't love them! 😵
If someone said that to me I would conclude that they don’t actually love me, they just want to make themselves feel good for “loving” someone they think is actually horrible
Cults are abuse and Evangelicalism is a cult.
Mr. Rogers' message and his expression of his own Christian faith is so infinitely better than the spiritually abusive tactics that evangelical churches deploy. If I were to imagine an unconditional loving figure I would imagine him, not the god of the bible who's consistently characterized as destructive and jealous. He doesn't believe or teach that god is the only way to receive love or be happy, he teaches the love and kindness that his personal faith inspires in him. In my opinion THATS what religion should be for our world.
Hate-Religion Number 1: Christianity.
@@nenmaster5218 I wouldn't say it's the worst, but it's probably the most insidious by far.
@@themindfulmoron3790 Possible.
But i have 1 simple question: Do you know Kent Hovind?
He reminds me of my grandma. My grandma mostly raised me as a young kid, before she passed when I was about 9 or 10. I loved my grandma so much. She was a Christian lady, she taught my dad in a less accepting time that it doesn't matter your skin color, that we're all the same inside. A few years after her death I had the realization that I liked girls (I am a girl). I felt so guilty. I felt like her Christian heart would hate who I am. I tried so hard to live how she did, so I hated myself and tried for a long time to repress it. At some point it boiled over and I told my dad everything. My dad told me that my grandma believed in love thy neighbor. That back in the 70s and 80s with the free love movement she supported the gay folk back then, and thought they deserved love and support like everyone else.
I really love my grandma. I'm gonna continue to live my life like she did. In my heart she's a saint, even with her flaws, she just had so much love and acceptance.
"The gate is small and the road is narrow, and few find it." Jesus's own words, Luke 13:14. Mr Rogers found that gate and walked that road. There was no hate disguised as love in him, nothing artificial or controlling about him.
I’m sorry but I’d hate a relationship where I’d give all my love to someone, and in return they tell you, you don’t deserve anything in return..... that’s a toxic relationship
It's funny how man and god can do the same evil but 'God's' evil is more valid bc he's the "creator" of the universe.
"we love because He first loved us"
Sounds like my parents relationship towards each other and me.
@@daisybloom9735 Well yeah, he created evil where none previously existed. He had to dream up new forms of suffering for us that he was incapable of ever experiencing. No one had ever starved, or been poisoned, or suffered depression, or become sick, or died before he decided that we (and not him) should be made vulnerable to all those things. So yes, "merely" beating someone pales in comparison to God's crime of inventing pain.
@@daisybloom9735 It's because "his ways are higher than our ways" or some bs like that. Sounds like making excuses to me, though
I went to a youth group with a number of kids from difficult homes. This message really appeals: Here is love for you that you don't get at home, but here is also the familiar message that you are unlovable. Perfect combination.
It's also how kids get recruited into gangs.
@@rageofheaven close enough
Dear women of the world the reason why we are formed of star dust or praticles is because the earth is a star and Adam body was made from the earth. Thus we would be formed by star dust. Remember in the middle of the earth is a min sun. Christians are not wrong.
Wow
@@salometipsandtricks2786 the earth is by every definition not a star... the core of the earth is a magnetic dynamo made of molten iron. Its pretty interesting stuff but its not a star. It it was hot enough to be one we wouldn't have a surface to live on. We are formed of stardust because everything is. Its nothing usual or special.
"You don't deserve love, but I accept you" definitely sounds like something an abusive partner would say to keep you from leaving.
Mister Rogers is honestly the most ideal realization of the Christian faith, and I'll never be able to have enough respect for the man.
The Mister Rogers clip made me tear up.
I used to watch his show
I would say that he was the perfect embodiment of Buddhism, of any religion, but as a non-believer, I just see him as the perfect example of humanity- what we can become if we live our lives with compassion and tolerance. Whatever one's religious beliefs, if you have a good heart metaphorically, of course), it's hard not to like Mr. Rogers.
@@pickleballer1729yup, Buddhism is way more accurate
@@amandasunshine2 I read a great book a few years ago called "The Middle Way" by Lou Marinoff. IF you're interested in Buddhism It;s a great treatment of the way religions (if you can call it that) approach life.
You left off a key Christian phenomenon: Christians are *proud* of being humble and humiliated, it indicates they are *real* Christians and have a genuine relationship with Jesus.
Proud of abuse
I've always thought of theists as inherently narcissistic due to the idea that they believe God is on their side and that to question their own moral values is to question God's moral values and thus run the risk of disagreeing with him and thus becoming a heretic
*Exactly!* This is exactly what I was thinking of but struggling to put into words!
@@kalebb1226 When someone is taught self hatred, deriving self esteem from belittling others is fairly inevitable.
Pride in humility is such an inherent contradiction, and yet . . .
"Work it Christian style." I have seen it, and cannot unsee it, however I try.
That's rough buddy
@Jan Cerny
This is the first time I've felt embarrassed to call myself a Christian...
Is this what Hell is like? This agonizing painful embarrassment...?
IM a christian and sometimes yeeeeeep. I just look back and wish that weren't there. WAAAAAAAAAY too cringy
I had to pause and listen to chop suey to get that crappy Christian cover out of my head.
worst part is that gangnam is a rich neighbor hood in SK and gangnam style is parodying the style and stuff of the people who live there and flaunt their wealth...
Man, I'm a really, really recent un-convert, and this was the biggest thing I struggled with as a Christian and probably the thing that made me change. I could accept I wasn't worthy of love, but when I moved out of my tiny Christian town and met all these absolutely lovely atheists, I couldn't fathom how they could be so unworthy of love that they would burn in hell. "If God won't love them, I will" became my mantra.
Damn that’s a powerful mantra. Thank you for showing people love. We all deserve it and there’s not enough of it in the world.
honestly, the whole “i love you and care for you even when you dont deserve it” is warped as all hell. i feel that a far more important message is “i love you even at your lowest. i will stay by your side, even as you brave your lowest points in life. you deserve my love, and all the love the world has to offer.” the idea that we don’t deserve love is extremely horrible and toxic. all of us deserve love. and if we’ve hurt people, we need to rectify that and try to grow as a person. there’s no place for the notion that we’re undeserving of love. we’re just people. and loving is part of being human. sorry for the ramble, but yeah.
That's exactly my opinion, including the "we're just people" bit. That's something I regularly say!
I love you for that. 👉👉
Hitler deserves love-Kayne
That is NOT a ramble. It is an important statement that, I hope, more people read and take in.
thing is, the religion i grew up with preached just that. That no one could love us as much as god, and that’s why we must give back that love. it is equally effective at warping our self worth. Because in my case, i had to jump thru so many hoops, deng my identity because i owed it to the one person who always loves me, god
If God doesn't think we're deserving of his love just because we're imperfect, then perhaps He isn't deserving of ours.
Yeah, fuck god
That’s exactly how I feel too
He made us this way though, is all-knowing and all-powerful, so it's his fault, he did this on purpose
God is cruel sadistic narcissistic being completely undeserving of worship or love
@@gorbsupreme7555 YEA HAIL SATAN! HE"S ACTUALLY LOVE! WE WERE CORRUPTED!!!
@@kimarna Do you listen to Hitchens? my favorite quote of his is something like, "We were created sick and then commanded on pain of eternal torment to become well."
god is truly NOT great.
Okay wow I've been an atheist for a year and a half and still didn't realize this kind of self thought wasn't normal and is probably why I feel sick for an hour over each small mistake I make. I need to work on that.
Same af fam. We're awesome!
@CJ Groves possibly, although it's impossible to tell. I was born into a church that spoke like the examples in the video and my entire frame of mind was structured around Christianity, so I woke up as soon as I could. I'm still learning to not be bitter about 20+ years of damage.
Also with hindsight this kind of thinking was affecting me as early as elementary school, so I probably would have had damaged thinking regardless.
@CJ Groves it was hell for me, and I know it makes no sense I stayed so long, but I was conditioned since infancy there was no other way of thinking, so it was not easy to break out of that mindset. So I guess all I can say is congrats on not being converted into Christianity?
@CJ Groves Holy fickle fackle you are a piece of shit :)
@CJ You kind of sound like an asshole with no awareness that other people were born into situations other than your own. You should, uh... stop being yourself.
i wasn’t prepared for the “reckless love” clip & now i’m having serious evangelical christian youth group PTSD
Probably my LEAST favorite worship song, and that’s saying something
@@Ahsoka_Hyrule I agree tremendously.
@@Ahsoka_Hyrule wait til you hear Jireh😷
@@depressedphilosopherbitch7581 What 😭
Just hearing Mr. Rogers voice is enough to bring me to tears. He was a truly GOOD man.
He was a TRUE man of God, a Presbyterian minister
It makes me so sad to think of all those poor folks who are being told that they are unworthy of the most basic emotion in the human heart. As a new mother I have discovered facets of love that I never even knew existed, I now understand why parents find it impossible to explain their love to their children. And here we have these MONSTERS telling people that all that is not real, that they are unloved and unlovable, that they can only find love by submitting to an abusive relationship. It's just all so very sad. I wish we knew how to save more people from this horrible mutation of religion.
I don't know if this is the most effective way to bring people out of religion, but the way I got out was basically by being exposed to atheist/agnostic friends who were kind and intelligent people, and that I looked up to, and it became impossible for me to think that these people would go to hell for just for not believing in god. Over time, it occurred to me that my friends care about me and are more accepting of me than god is. One day, I decided that if god was such a cold heartless being who sent people to hell for no other reason than not believing him, he wasn't worth worshiping. It was a scary thing to do, but I'm glad I took the leap, and left religion.
So basically what I'm trying to say is, I think a good way to bring people out of religion, is to be a good friend, and offer them an alternative message to the things they hear in church. Give them the message that you can be a good person without believing in god. Give them the message that they ARE deserving of love, and they aren't a "sinner". One of the ways churches keep control over their people is by making sure they only hear one point of view on life, but by being exposed to other viewpoints that control can be broken. Hopefully that made sense! :)
@@confusedowl297 Yes, it makes sense. I'm an agnostic myself and I try to be as understanding as I can but maybe that's not always the right thing to do. It's so easy to see people in this situation as choosing their own fates and then I back off because I don't want to be rude or intolerant. It's tough finding the balance between letting people have their own faiths and protecting people from abusive groups.
The original lyric to that Cee Lo Green song wasn't "Forget You". It was "Fuck You".
In the Faith Bop collection.
@@Eldritch_Panda31 Ah yes, because we can hear news coverage of a fascist lynch mob storming the Capitol, but heaven forbid anyone say "fuck"! #AmericanValues
@@andrewkohler3707 damn right, that's what daddy Reagan told us ( I'm kidding, fuck Reagan)
You got that right
It's the only version I'd want to listen to.
I have to hand it to religious parodies, they somehow managed to make Rebecca Black's "Friday" twice as "Friday" than it already was. I did not think such a feat was possible.
I remember being like 6 years old, watching Clifford the Big Red Dog, and this one episode had a message to believe in yourself. The episode was about clifford’s dog friend who didn’t want to play toss because he didn’t think he could throw the ball well, but he learned to believe in himself and participate. That’s how I remember it anyway
But anyway my mom got irritated with that, she told me that was wrong, we should not believe in ourselves. We had to believe in Jesus. Until college, I would always roll my eyes and tune out whenever the “believe in yourself” message came up in school or whatever.
Looking back. What the fuck does that even mean? Can’t you believe in yourself and Jesus? Why was I trained to become so offended at the suggestion that I should believe in myself and see myself and capable?
I am not sure exactly how much that affected me, but I can’t say it didn’t at least a little, with all the other “we aren’t worthy” messaging around me. I grew up with such crippling fear of letting down authority figures
This is wild. For me, it was the Arthur theme song where it said something like "believe in yourself cause that's the way to go" and "listen to your heart". I remember that being frowned upon and i, too, had negative feelings toward notions of believing in oneself. Like for you, this has FINALLY changed for me, and i see how toxic that belief was.
@TheTechnicolorRobot yes!! My mother hated the Arhur theme too. It made me feel guilty for liking the song!
“We’re unworthy of love,
You know the rules and so do I”
How did I not expect to be Rickrolled in this comments section? 😂
DANG IT-
"Never gonna give you love."
Christ-rolled
To his credit, Mark Driscoll is doing his part in proving the thesis that people suck.
I can’t stand that guy.
Underrated comment
130 ex Mars Hill members would agree with you.
That is one of my favourite episodes of Doctor Who. "There is only one Merry Galel. And there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice, it's a waste!"
This message of being undeserving and terrible is one of the larger reasons I left Christianity. I had drank the koolaid and licked the cup clean. I still have lasting self esteem issues to this day over a decade later. I unconditionally refused. I would never look at my children, who are perfect in every way to me, and tell them that they are broken and worthless without someone else's existence and intervention. Even if that's supposed to be the most powerful being in the universe. Just like Mr. Rogers, I love them just as they are, and my life is so much brighter with them in it.
A fellow Kool aid drinker😂
"I'm a wretch, I'm a worm, I'm a no good sinner, but he said "I'll save you anyway.""
....even over a decade out of that life, those words play in my head. Being proud of my work is a sin. It is so damned harmful.
This video really hit home for me, because when I was a teenage christian, this teaching was so destructive for my mental health, and I think it still affects me today (I'm only 17 now). I really internalized the message that I was broken, incomplete, a sinner, unworthy of love, and so on, and I would spend lots of time thinking about how "broken & sinful" I was and feeling like I was the worst person in the world, and how I might end up in hell. My mind would just go to some dark places because I internalized that belief so much. That time of my life was like and abusive relationship... with someone I imagined... weird to think about. I'm so glad I left christianity because if I didn't I don't even know how bad my mental health could've gotten. To anyone reading this, you deserve love & it's okay to make mistakes. :)
Same story with me, man. Glad you got out!
Same, although it took me a few more years than you. Even to this day I find myself repeating many of the self-destructive things that were told to me when I was younger, it takes a lot of time to heal. I wish the best for you and hope you have a safe home space and friends you may be honest and converse with!
Hey I dont know if anyone told you recently, but I'm so proud of you ^_^ you're doing amazing
@wolf trader we all are fallible. No amount of religion can cure that.
Yet fallible beings are capable of empathy and goodness. No religion is required for that.
Same, but I felt better once I turned to Paganism and have some spiritual beliefs towards magick. Leaving Christianity is better than being caged into self hatred and fear.
This video is a huge wake-up call to me. I never realized how deeply I had internalized this feeling of "I don't deserve love" until I was just nodding along with the examples you gave in the beginning, thinking about how normal they sound. "You don't deserve my love but I love you anyway so you need to be grateful" sounds just like an abusive parent which... I also had to deal with.
I like the idea that GOD sees you as whole even if YOU don't see it, but I don't think that's what most of these songs are actually saying unfortunately.
Right??? It's so confusing to be told you don't deserve love but if you wallow in shame and don't have joy then you must not be doing enough on your part to be a spiritually disciplined christian.
Yeah right? Like it’s one thing to say “I love you despite the dark parts” it’s another thing to say “you’re the worst because I made you that way but it’s okay because I love you even though you don’t deserve it”
Words cannot express how deeply that episode of doctor who affected me as a child. As a young woman, and as a human being in this world. I still have the speech memorized in my head and it reminds me of what is beautiful and incredible about life and the individual human experience both good and bad, this ancient being screaming into the face of a primordial deity that has been feasting on the lives and memories of a people for thousands of years, screaming about love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow and the value that all of those experiences have. It impacts me and I think of it to this day and it reassures my belief in loving one's self, valuing your life life and individuality and to live for you and by just existing and loving the things you love and pursuing your passions, and experiencing the world in the most unique way that only you can, that in and of itself validates and justifies your existence enough. You don't owe anyone anything, you deserve to live out your truth and find your own path to happiness in any way you see fit, (as long as it doesn't harm or encroach upon the freedoms of others) and that's what life is about for me. In the words of Andre DeSheilds, (a famous old black and gay man who has been famous on Broadway for years and is simply a delightful and wholesome human being) "There is only one, you. There has never been another, you. There will never be another, you. Therefore. Be yourself," words to live by. ❤️
I agree, that speech is one of the best and one of the many reasons I think Matt Smith was the best Doctor thus far
Christianity is the ultimate breeding ground for silly-assed sayings like "Life with God is not about a religion, it's about a relationship" or "religion isn't man searching for God...Christianity is God searching for man."
they sound like inspirobot mantras
Man the only thing more sad than this video bringing back the memories of my depression when I was trying to un-depress myself for being gay using the bible is the revisiting of when Doctor Who was actually good.
Doctor Who has always been good :)
@@Macabresque Not since Chibnall has taken over. And have you ever watched the first Colin Baker season?
@@GermanLeftist I still prefer Colin Baker over Silvester McCoy, so many absolutely horrible plots with mediocre scripts he's forced to haste through with minimal second or third takes to get to a good performance, his Doctor is the true rock-bottom of Dr Who's history.
@@Macabresque doctor who fell off hard, once Moffat left
Read doctor who books than. They are great and I can promise you that you will like the 13th doctor from the books.
I’ve never been able to put my finger down on this concept before, and I think it was because I was so brainwashed by my Christian upbringing to actually think that people don’t deserve love. I wasn’t abused or anything, I’ve just heard this phrase so often that it’s ingrained in me. It’s really, really screwed me up about my self-worth, too.
I think this is a tactic to make people afraid to leave the church. When you deny God’s existence, suddenly the one person who supposedly loves you despite your flaws no longer exists and never even existed before. It’s soul-crushing. It makes you start to doubt the love of your friends, your family, and your partner. It makes you doubt the respect of your peers. It’s terrible.
I have a complex from this. It married ableism and homophobia and transphobia.
I don’t know why this video made such a big deal about this. The “undeserving of love” is a toxic belief mostly only present in certain American Protestant churches. He’s made a big generalization onto all of Christianity, which has many forms. From the very beginning, Christians have called humans the children of God because they believe He loves all humans regardless of sins like parents love their kids even when the kids do bad things. Saying we don’t deserve love is a ridiculous misreading of the Bible. Everyone deserves love, and that’s what Christians are supposed to believe. The Video also made a mistake by taking “all about that grace, can’t earn it” out of topic. Anybody who can do a google search would find that the reason you “can’t earn it” because Christians believe you get it free from God already without doing anything. No need to earn it.
@@regularamerican6034 American churches teach that you either have to do a bunch of rituals (Catholicism) or you have to accept Jesus and "repent from your sinful ways" to be saved. It's technically free, but you still have to conform to the religion and do a bunch of stuff to actively receive love. I have both Catholics and Protestants in my family, so I've seen all of this first-hand.
Also, I think you may misunderstand this video as bashing the Christian religion in general, but really it's about the abuse of the American churches. The churches often teach Christianity in a way that can demoralize you and whittle down your independent self worth into nothing. It's like a toxic coping mechanism that soothes wounds of self-hatred without ever really trying to seal and cure them.
(Also, as a side note, the children of God in the Bible used only be a particular race descended from one particular person. Christianity might've changed all that, but even it admits that God did not try to save everyone from the beginning. That's not a very loving God if "all of humanity are his children." No loving parent would just passively forsake such a huge swathe of his children. That's a personal gripe though and not part of the video's real point.)
@@regularamerican6034 No, it's common to most churches around the world, except for some mainline, liberal, and progressive churches. It might be less overt in some but it's still there. It's right there in the "Sinner's Prayer". It's right there in a lot of worship music and hymns. It's right there in basic doctrine. It's right there in the Bible.
@@regularamerican6034 Also, does the scriptural phrase 'there are none who do good - not one' ring any bells?
Furthermore, Romans 8:30 should be taught more. And Romans 9:12 too, maybe.
And as in advertising, the strongest voice, tends to define the brand, at times.
I grew up with a Christian background. Being told "God has a plan for each if us" used to bring me comfort. As an adult it led me into a deep depression. Praying and never getting answers. I was 26 before I figured out I decide what my purpose is.
I am an older woman who was very fortunate to be allowed to make up own mind about religion as a child. I chose not to participate and am happy that I did. Thanks, parents.
I specifically remember that a “lesson” I learned after a church retreat growing up was that I didn’t deserve God’s love because of sin but He loved me anyways. Thanks for this video.
Keep making these videos, they hit me deep growing up in evangelical church as a closeted gay man
same dude same
Same here. It's an awful way to grow up, but we've got each other at least.
Same (I also hate that I still like the tune of some of these songs)
Dear women of the world the reason why we are formed of star dust or praticles is because the earth is a star and Adam body was made from the earth. Thus we would be formed by star dust. Remember in the middle of the earth is a min sun. Christians are not wrong.
@@beezee1196 that may actually be because many are modeled off (or directly stolen versions) of bar songs and sea shanty’s! And even those that aren’t are usually written by people with a slight modicum of talent that they proclaim was a gift from god and not a result of hard practice, so they can be quite catchy and a bit trite, but just enough to snag your attention and maybe get your foot tapping.
I'm so emotional right now... I needed to hear this. Almost twenty years of hearing that I'm undeserving and lower than a worm, and then to be told that I am fearfully and wonderfully made... It always messed me up. I thought that not being able to reconcile these two things only meant that I'm too stupid to understand. Now I know better. Thank you so much for this video, you have no idea how this changes everything for me. Thank you.
Thank you! I am a trans man who survived an ED, family abuse (mostly my mentally ill, religiosly fanatic father), and I still occasionally find myself in tge negative pattern of "you do not deserve live because you are a dishusting human with a broken sexuality", despite having a loving, compassionate boyfriend, and having recognition in my community.
It is hard to undo damage, especially paired with a disease that literally starves you to your core, followed by a rough coming out process plagued by transphobia and stubbornness by my family. Things are a bit better now, but still not ideal. And that us OK.
I hope things are going well ❤️
St. Teresa of Avila said, "The essence of humility is realizing we're not all that bad."
IN THE GOSPELS, JESUS CALL ALL OF US EVIL FOR ONLY GOD IS GOOD, AND ONLY WORKS DONE BY US THROUGH HIS SPIRIT ARE GOOD WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@edwardevans7219 so charitable acts aren't good unless you keep god in mind, being friendly, helping others, or acting generous at all is evil unless you keep god in mind?
@@ghuttsmckenzie4269 WE ALL DO THINGS FOR REASONS, THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL TRULY BENEFIT THE RECEIVER IS IF CHRIST IS MENTIONED, LEADING TO SALVATION AND ETERNAL LIFE. GIVING IS NOT FOR MY BLESSING, I HAVE ETERNAL LIFE, I WANT TO GIVE IT TO EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!
@@edwardevans7219 so even kind acts not referencing god are not kind? That is the most messed up way of invalidating peoples' actions.
@@edwardevans7219
THAT’S NOT IT YOU BARNACLEHEAD
I can't believe the ending of the video made me cry, guess I wasn't coping as well as I thought.
I teared up as well. It's a good thing to cry! Just because it causes you to cry doesn't mean you aren't able to cope with your past
Nah, that's recovery. Crying isn't failure, it's expression. You're healing deep, deep hurt, let your body feel the pain
Same. There is a lot of pain in the ex-Christian community.
I remember being in middle school and going through that phase of having low self-esteem and hating myself, and also hearing the pastor talk about how we are are lowly, dirty people who are undeserving of God's love. Hearing it said out loud every Sunday eventually led me to realize that that line of thinking was ridiculous and I began my own deconstruction. Telling people that they are undeserving of love is unhealthy and it's stupid that that even needs to be said.
"People improve when they receive external love. How can we hold it against them, when they don’t"
The most compelling thing to me now is, if god really wanted this relationship with you/me, why has he refused to come on down to chat? We have to actually beg for his attention, and it took me a few years to realize that there's no one on the other line. All that emotional torment for nothing, years of church going, self loathing, all for nothing. I am so much happier that I'm out. We are all deserving of love, love of a person who is actually going to be there for us.
Good words. Nice growth !! Peace is with you !!
To be totally honest even if a deity touched down in my front lawn I'm not sure I would be convinced. The story of the bible is just so impossible sounding that any other explanation like a hallucination or aliens would make more sense.
I have spent almost 3 years praying (closing my eyes and talking to myself) and constantly reading the stupid holy book wanting to seek god, wanting to have a “relationship” with god. Absolutely nothing came out of it, I watched Believe It or Not’s videos, and my perspective has drastically changed. If he was real, he is an piece of shit because I cried in some prayers begging for a “relationship” cause I didn’t want to be separated from god whenever I thought he was good and real. 3 years might be short but it was so depressing and anxiety filled experience (especially when it comes to the thought of the rapture), I am not going back. I am beyond free and happier where I am now
@@nu_metal_rules6969 Big internet hug !! It will be so much easier to love others (who need love, vs the b@st@rds out there) now that you love yourself.
Best regards, may the sun always shine when you need it most.
@@onedaya_martian1238 Thank you so much, I had to let that out because Elizabeth’s experience had some things in it that reminded me of mine, all that stuff I did, was just for nothing, and I can actually love life and people in it knowing that everyone is worthy of love and they deserve love and I don’t need supernatural intervention to be happy and worthy. Have a super wonderful week
I remember as a kid I had a lot of negative views surrounding how I looked, especially in regards to my hair (it's curly and all of the pretty girls I saw in media had straight hair) and there was one specific time I had a bad breakdown over it and I was calling myself worthless and ugly and disgusting. And this was around the time when my dad and I were both hella religious, so trying to comfort me he told me it was good that I felt that way about myself bc it meant I was humble. Needless to say I internalized that and it contributed to alot of the self hate and depreciating humor I developed as a way to cope. I've literally just started working towards being less spiteful towards myself and rather than put myself down in order to "be humble" I should lift myself up bc there's really nothing wrong with a lil self love.
I know he didn't have any ill intentions but I just think it's crazy how bc of religion my dad thought it was a good thing to encourage his (at the time) 9 year old daughters self hatred. 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Wow, I totally understand that
omg this, this is almost exactly something i’ve gone through as well. being told that you were such a good humble child during emotional turmoil like that contributes so heavily to horrible self esteem and worth issues.
i completely agree, and truly hope you’re doing better 💖💖💖
@@kuro-kuromi32 it's honestly crazy how a religion that supposedly supposed to based around love actively encourages this kind of behavior especially in children 🙄 but yeah, in terms of loving myself I am doing better :) and I hope both u and @DJ are too, or at least r trying to unlearn the church's self destructive behavior haha
When my mom was growing up, she had a lot of cavities in her teeth, and her parents didn't always want to pay extra for the novocaine for the fillings. To cope with the pain, they told her to "offer it up" for all her sins.
@@alexandrac591 well that's traumatic
Dang, this brought up a memory of myself asking the question: "As a Christian, am I allowed to love myself?" The answer I came up with was no, because that would be vanity and conceit. Since I haven't been to church for two years now, I haven't heard that I'm broken or dirty in such a long time. I forgot that I used to be told that. It feels nice, to think that I'm okay. Because I am.
Love the line you ended on...
"You are unique in the universe. Please don't forget it"
That last doctor who quote made me cry. And i love that doctor the most anyway
the Arcade Fire song "We Don't Deserve Love" is really good, I had no idea they were referencing an actual refrain in christian culture
"Your mother screaming that you dont deserve love. Well If you dont deserve love, and if I dont deserve love, what could we deserve? Come down off the cross and tell me! It's always the Christ-types you're waiting on."
whoa! i never thought of it like that 😲
the way that the song “reckless love” is so triggering to me now because of how badly i used to break down to that song feeling so worthless. i’m so glad we’re having these conversations now, they’re soooo important
LITERALLY
I don't think this song belongs on the list. I don't want to debate your experience. I can't tell you what you're feeling. But it seems to me that the theme of reckless love is less about how we don't deserve it, but more about the abundance of what is given. And keeping with the parables upon which the song is drawn from, it's a love that pursues the individual precisely because they are worth it. The song as a whole has one line in the chorus about about being undeserving.
Same
@@rockmyworldmusic It's still based on the premise that we're undeserving.
@@alanamontero4743 I understand how it could be perceived that way. But I don't think that's what the song is based on. Again, if you go back and look at the actual parable in Luke 19, you will see things of value; the coins, the sheep, and the sons. God's reckless love is demonstrated in the fact that the Almighty would sweep the whole house (like the lady who lost her money), or search the whole field (like the shepherd of a lost sheep), or run out to greet a lost son. We have internalized messages of not being worthy. This is part of our popular culture, so the song recognizes this, and then emphasizes that God DOES see value in us and will do all possible to bring us home.
I knew I was being emotionally abused by my family but this video made me process it. Thank you.
Thank you so much for making this. If a “loving” parental figure tells you that you’re undeserving of love, then are they truly deserving of our worship and love? Are they someone who deserves a relationship with those who they constantly tear down? There’s a difference between teaching people humility and self-deprecation. Soldiers, doctors and other essential workers risk their lives for people on a daily basis and do not tell people that they are undeserving to be saved or loved or demand to be worshipped for saving them. If anyone truly deserves to be thanked and given credit for saving lives, it’s them.
This really resonates with me having grown up as the child of a pastor. I've recently struggled with assigning value to my actions because I had thought that God's salvation was the only thing that mattered, which meant anything that came from this sin-centered human had no value. I think this video is helping put me on the path to a healthier mindset. Thank you for making this. I hope I can slowly build back my sense of self-worth.
Fellow pk here. I remember thinking as a kid how useless the entertainment industry was because the only thing that mattered was God's salvation so basic human enjoyment is useless if it's not leading people to Christ. I'd even silently judge those that would simply enjoy things that didn't spread the gospel lol. Looking back it's amazing how many messed up things I thought based on what I was taught.
Hope you have a home know where you can be honest with your beliefs! It takes time but there's plenty of us in this together and things will improve
@@annaairahala9462 🙋♀ Also a pk, atheist for 4 months now. Healing is a gradual process. Hope things go well for you and @Act One. We're in this together :)
Honestly, sin is such a nebulous concept that I gave up on it years ago. And if my opinion counts anything, I think that somebody who respects and likes a heart-warming game like Professor Layton absolutely can't be a bad person!
In seriousness though, only you yourself can determine your worth, that is not for other people or any god to decide. You are worthy of love and if God has anything to say about that, he can sue me for false speech after I die, see if I care.
Not religious but I had a dream I was in hell once, and it was nothing like the Christians claimed. It was a giant shopping mall filled with skating rinks, bars, arcades and people genuinely having a good time. I got to speak with Satan himself and he told me "Oh this place? This isn't a place where bad people are punished. This is just the place where the sky tyrant sticks anyone who dares disagree with him".
Thank for prompting me to chip away at processing 18 years of Catholic trauma
Oof, that is some tough stuff, my dude. Catholicism...just, where do I even begin? All I can say is that I wish you the best of luck with that, dear stranger, and that I empathize.
“You are unique in the universe. Please don’t forget it.” I… i think i have something in my eye…
Thank you for making this. I've just come across your channel. It took me 24 years to fully come to the realization that the religion I was brought up in was anti-human and anti-life, despite claiming the opposite. I wonder what my life could have been.
Then go and find out.
The only kind of people who tell you that you are unworthy of love are those who have no love to give.
I was just fine until that very last clip of Doctor Who telling that little girl of the way the universe spent hundreds and hundreds of years forming itself into atoms to create her. Hearing him say she was unique in all the world made me burst into tears. I grew up in. Christian home, always told of how foul and unworthy of love I was since I could talk and how I should be praying God for thinking of someone so insignificant. It was the constant message we heard and I took it to heart. It made me seem mature of my age like the adults loved to call me, but in reality I was very obedient and meek and a people pleaser. I was conditioned to stay quiet and never stand up for myself, otherwise it be taken as rebellion and I legit feared God would kill me if I said "Oh my god." My sense of self worth and identity was on the floor and as an adult I struggle heavily with this notion that ill never be good enough as I am, constantly striving for larger successes and throwing myself into the fray so I wouldn't have to think of that fear being true. Religious trauma is so real and I didnt realize until I heard those words that I'd been living in its shadow all my life.
We deserved better than what religion gave us. And we deserve what it took from us.
When I was a more faithful man, my pastor told us a story about visiting a friend, and finding most of the items in his home had sticky notes on them with the words "I don't deserve this." The pastor tried to frame it as an uplifting story about always staying humble, and reminding yourself that you don't deserve anything because you're a worthless bag of trash, but God loves you anyway.
Needless to say, as somebody who was then recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, being told that I'm correct to be as hard on myself as I often still am, was not the advice I needed.
Watching those christian song parodies made me feel like I gained about 15 new wrinkles and I'm only 18. Jeez.
Thank you for calling out the deep, pernicious issues with religions.
I could never accept that God would let good people burn just because they didn't accept his love.. "I loved you so much sacrificed my son to save you; love me or burn!"
When I was a little kid and my family dragged me to church, I heard some of their singers singing Rolling Stones’ “start me up” but with christian lyrics instead of the original ones. Being that I was a very sheltered little kid, and living in a super strict christian family, I didn’t know any differently about it. I never heard of The Rolling Stones then, let alone that song. I thought that was the church’s song, and I was blown away. I complimented the singers thinking it was their song, they looked too embarrassed to keep talking and left, and I didn’t understand. When I happened to hear the actual Rolling Stones’ start me up playing in the outside world, I was wondering who stole the church’s amazing song. I asked loudly enough to get pitiful expressions from people. And my family shushed me, probably out of embarrassment.
Christians’ pop culture mooching has been around apparently since the 70’s. I don’t understand how they can criticize it so much, yet they need them to plagiarize from. Criticizing them seems like they’re sawing off the very springboard they’re standing on. Seth Andrews has a very good video about just how badly they depend on them to steal from and how long it’s been going on: czcams.com/video/KNik8niSrrY/video.html
7:30 that’s such a strong academic citation that I have good self-esteem now
I’m learning to believe in myself. From the many sermons I’ve heard, I felt that I was no good, a piece of shit. I’m glad I’m getting out of that recently. Great video! Y’all deserve so much subscribers!
Glad you got out of it and I hope you live your life the way you want to!
I think I attempted suicide more when I believed there was a God than I have since I left the church specifically because of this messaging.
@@fuzzybuzzy3159 I mean you should still consider it sometimes.
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The first step towards deconversion is self confidence. When you believe in yourself, no con-man in robes can tell you otherwise.
@@fuzzybuzzy3159 I thought it was a sin to attempt suicide in Christianity?
I personally believe that every single person who has left the Christian church is a survivor of a toxic and abusive relationship. Stay strong people
One of my favorite quotes from my favorite book series
“Trust me, baby. Everyone wants someone they can hold and love. Someone who will be there to help pick up the pieces when everything falls apart. Sin is no different from anyone else. If you have any care for Sin at all, don’t leave him in the darkness. It’s not fair to show someone the sun and then banish him from it. Even the devil may cry when he looks around hell and realizes that he’s there alone.” (Acheron)
It’s not about “deserve” It’s about “Need” and we all need love, it’s the one thing that makes life livable.
This video hit me really hard. I began to drift away from the church at 8 or 9 and finally made the break when I was 12. I'm 33 now and, though I have been out for so long, that mental abuse of not being worth anything and that no one would love me or care about me and that I deserved punishment for simply being born still lingers in me. It still creeps up to drag me down into the depths of self loathing. I see a lot of people, who are good people, taking their kids (practically from birth) to church and injecting this poison into them and they think that they are helping them, when they are really destroying them. Thank you for this. I dont know why but for whatever reason it means a lot.
The fear of hell and the fear of death are what keeps people questioning Christianity in church. I am disabled and I have been through psycological and emotional abuse and also manipulation. I have had trouble with feeling unworthy of love. I have been told by my parents who are not disabled that I should give thanks to GOD for my disabalaties and they have called me ungreatful eventhough I am the one who has been disabled from the day I was born and I will be that way until the day I die and my parents are not the ones who will live with a disability forever. I also went through many diseases. I was raised in a religous home. I was taught that I was unworthy of being shown mercy, that I did not deserve my health, that love is and or was conditional because of the abuse I went through, I was taught that Ivwas unworthy of being forgiven, that I did not deserve a second chance, and that it was wrong to take credit for my accomplishments.
That's heartbreaking, I can't even imagine the power it takes from you to have endured so much.
"I'm all about that grace, no devil" was right there but they still went with "can't earn it" 🙄 ok
This is actually how I first started to question my beliefs. I was young, I don’t remember how young, but i hadn’t hit double digits yet.
I was sitting the pews at church, my mom was next to me. The hymn “Amazing Grace” was on, she smiled down at me and told me this was her favourite hymn.
Then came the lyric “that saved a wretch like me.” Implying that only god could have saved such a wretched thing as a human being. I was a kid, but even then those lyrics made me uncomfortable. I finally realised I was an atheist when I was 12, just months after my confirmation. I still haven’t told my mom
Have you considered that maybe the reason many of those people keep following preachers who tell them every person is worthless of the Lord's love is because they see themselves as the exception? That in their minds they insert "except me" into those sermons? And that the preacher does it as well?
Conservative Christianity has always been a cesspool of entitlement, arrogance, narcissism and bigotry. It's "theology" has always been about ranking people from most to least holy, with the "in" group at the top and the outsiders at the bottom. It's never about love and solidarity, and you can see that most clearly in their charity work with how little they actually do to understand the problems of those suffering in misery. They never care about what those people say because they know better, and the last thing people living in misery need is welfare and a robust infrastructure of public services to rely on. No, they just need Jesus, a few bags of cheap food to keep them alive, discarded clothes and a solid work ethic (by which they mean endlessly shaming them for not having the superior work ethic that the good conservative christians have).
Ditto for all other conservative religious movements.
I grew up in a church that believed in predestination. This idea always really bothered me even when I used to be a Christian. It was like: god has chosen specific people, if you’re not chosen, then you’re condemned to hell. But somehow, it’s still your fault for going to hell. Never sat right with me then. I figure that’s where some of this entitlement comes from. They must figure that: I’m chosen and saved so I must be really special.
I'm going to disagree with that, or at least it was not the case for me. The idea is that we were worthless but god loves us anyway. For me I never felt like I was some exception, just that I could find more peace with my "sinful" actions. I think many people don't see themselves as some sort of exception, but rather everyone has something that can be labelled as "sinful" or "irredeemable", so if the church convinces you that those actions make you unworthy of love then the idea of god's love and forgiveness can give you peace of mind with those actions.
In reality though, these actions can be harmless things that will just be labelled as wrong, such as sexuality or maybe even something you did as a kid
I feel like that can be the case but isn't always.
I definitely agree with that somewhat, but I definitely didn't think I was an exception when it came to feeling like a peice of crap undeserving of love due to God apparently seeing us that way.
Good observation. It should be noted that based on cumulative testimonies from those who used to work for Mark Driscoll, he certainly thought that he was the exception to the rule when it came to everyone "sucking". He had no problem shaming people he thought were "losers" as well as throwing those whom he felt questioned his authority too much under the bus (there's even a recording of him using those exact words). He's still the asshole jock he was in high school (and in saying this, I hope nobody misconstrues this as me impugning those who regularly hit the gym - you guys are awesome).
I had to stop half way for a minute because I was about to cry. Atm writing this, I'm a work on my launch break. This is one of the reasons I left church. Good video.
After 12 years of bullying in school and hard family situations, I had INCREDIBLY low self esteem and was having suicidal thoughts. I was given an 8 year old Border Collie who showed me how valuable I am. I love you Sally. 🐶❤
Aww what a good dog
I hope you’re out of that negative situation now. You deserve to be loved 😊
PREACH IT BROTHER! I can't tell you how broken, dirty, and unworthy of God's love sermons I have heard in my lifetime. Then you get the right hook of God loves you, BUT you have to do something first. Then you get the final uppercut with stories throughout the Bible of people who were unworthy, but became the hero for God. You can be that person too. No wonder we are all confused about what God wants and where we fit within the Christian faith.
This is basically the thing that made me leave the faith. Around highschool I just started feeling like there was no way telling people they were fundamentally broken and undeserving of good things was beneficial.
I remember, when I was younger, I thought that having any self esteem was a sin because they said pride was a sin. Honestly put me on a not great path for a while. I’ve gotten better- I have pretty balanced self esteem now- but still.
My kids are mid teens to early 20s. So glad I raised them in a secular household. Much to the dismay of their dad’s fam and my fam.
Your channel feels like myself in 10 years talking to myself now about how to get through this struggle in losing faith. From the bottom of my heart as I binge through your channel in a moment of self care, Thank you.
This video made me cry. I recently came out to a group of my peers as non-binary and I was called by my new name for the first time. And the end of the video hit me so hard, I am so happy that I found your channel and I can only hope that you continue making inspiring content like this well into the future.
This one hits hard, I remember being super depressed when I was 9 or 10 crying to my mother that I don't even deserve god's love and she was just all "well, yeah, you don't"
It didnt' help. I think that was my first step away. But it was a long 20 year road from there.
I'm a lesbian who grew up evangelical -- but despite that, it's actually this kind of rhetoric, not homophobia, that truly traumatized me. Like -- the homophobic things I was taught never sank in for me personally, but the idea that I was a horrible, lowly person was burned into my skull. That, and the violence of the crucifixion. I don't think it's a coincidence that both of these things are always presented in the context of "love." This video reminds me of what used to be one of my favorite church songs, but now when I listen to it, it sends chills down my spine. The bridge goes like:
I am the thorn in your crown,
but you love me anyway.
I am the sweat from your brow,
but you love me anyway.
I am the nail in your wrist,
but you love me anyway.
I am Judas's kiss,
but you love me anyway.
I am the man who yelled out from the crowd for your blood to be spilt on this earth-shaken ground,
yes and
I turned away with a smile on my face; with this sin in my heart, tried to bury your grace
Then alone in the night, I still called out for you, so ashamed of my life, my life, my life.
but you loved me anyway.
You sing that, and you're transported into the violence of the crucifixion. You're made to not only be a witness, but a _participant_ in the act. You are the thorn, the nail, the sweat. You are the betrayal of Judas. You are the cruelty of the onlookers, cheering for Jesus' death. This song plants you in the middle of a violent murder, makes you out to be the perpetrator, and _intersperses it all_ with "but you love me anyway." It's cruel and manipulative and so, so evil. The fact that I was taught, as a child, that this was the ultimate expression of love is just horrific, really.
The sight of an old man singing about how he's unworthy of love is probably the worst thing I've seen in a month.
And it's 2021 so that's saying something.
when i left the church, i immediately fell into emotionally abusive relationships that allowed me the same “i need to perfect myself” obsession. this is the first time i’m making the connection to this current pattern to how i was raised. i don’t think i’ve ever been told i’m worthy of love.
That "undeserving of love bc you're human/imperfect" was like Lie Numero Uno that I learned as a kid. Still trying to get rid of its residue. The fact that the people who told this to me believed themselves to be just as unworthy didn't make it that much better. Imperfection was still basically a capital crime in "God's" eyes and needed a savior or else.
No matter how awful I'm feeling, Mr Rogers always helps make it a bit better. Thank you for a great video.
I go to a Lutheran high school. For the past three years, the school has run a program in which students annotate Bibles for prisoners, hoping that they'll become Christians. The first thing we are told to write in each Bible is that the person is sinful and undeserving of God's love. Then, we annotate that God loves them anyway. Pretty messed up.
This is such an important message. Thank you and you deserve way more subs.
I was just had an argument with my family and was feeling like shit. I opened youtube to try and distract myself and the first video was this one. Seeing the title almost caused me to break down, thank you for making this video
This idea was such a big part of my depression.
That I'm not, and never will be, good enough. And, more than that, that it's my fault. That's it innate in me. That I can't ever be better.
And then I realized that all of those ideas, all of the things taught to me, are from Church.
And the church isn't right.
Which means that I do have worth. That I can fight back. And no matter what anyone says, I matter.
*You matter.*
When I first “got saved” as a young child I was super excited and started a small journal and read some of the Bible. That didn’t last super long though, I was still a Christian until recently but overtime going to church just pretty much felt like a chore
But even as a Christian, I’ve never felt “changed” because I grew up in a church home, I’d always been a good kid and believed in god. It’s not like anything changed for me.
I do remember when I was younger crying because Jesus sacrificed himself for me basically idk. But aside from that I think Christianity hasn’t broken my self esteem, probably because of my sisters lol. One is still a Christian and one isn’t, but they’re both more liberal.
Oop when you said “Christians say it’s not a religion, but a relationship” that’s definitely something my pastor said
Oh yeah but I was gonna say as an atheist I look at the things god did in the Bible and I see someone who was very abusive. Lamentations is literally Stockholm syndrome. So yeah.
MFW: cant tell if it's an apologists channel so checks out a video, to be pleasantly suprised that not only is it not an apologist, but that the people behind jt are good people.
This is so weird... I'm from Canada, from a mixed Ukrainian Catholic/Jewish-Romani family. I came out to them as trans+bi and not only did my whole family support me, but they always said that God loves everyone and we ALL deserve love?? Not once did they tell me that I suck and don't deserve love???
*_are the rest of religious families around me okay???_*
like yeah I still faced bigotry on my dad's side because he's a conspiracy theorist, but my mom's side is the more reliigious side and they made sure I was safe and okay. Other Christian families aren't like that???
@@hello-jy9hf It depends on the church, but at least in the US, Christians are usually not very accepting. I'm straight, but I still received the message that I was "unworthy of god's love" from my church and from christian social media, so I imagine it's even worse for lgbt people.
I'm glad you had such a good experience coming out! It's not an easy thing to do, even if you have an accepting family. :)
@@confusedowl297 thank you, and I'm sorry that you were treated so horribly as well; that should never happen to anyone, being belittled like that.
I guess it helps to mention that my mom WAS excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church in Canada because she just spoke up against p*dophiles and rampant elitism - maybe I'm just one of the lucky ones
@@hello-jy9hf Thank you too! I'm in a much better place mentally now, than I was 2 years ago.
Good on her for standing up to the church! The world needs more people like that.
I'm Mexican and was raised Catholic. This also weirded me out but I thought that it was just me. Catholicism is strongly rooted in my country's culture and while it's not without its flaws, the kind of mindset discussed in this video is messed up even from a Catholic perspective. Like, being told that you're born corrupt and tainted (original sin) is problematic on itself (and also the way that they glorify suffering and enduring pain and encourage making yourself feel guilty for even your tiniest mistake), but the point of Jesus dying was to atone for us. It feels very contradictory for me to preach that we're unworthy and undeserving since not only Jesus wouldn't have accepted such ordeal to begin with if we weren't worthy, and even more so, being that God made us on his image, saying that we're undeserving and suck is basically implying the same about him. I mean, I was taught in Catholic school how much God loved us humans and how we were his greatest creation and even we were above other life forms.
It always bothered me how "we're the greatest of God's creation" was used as an excuse to exploit animals and basically all nature without thinking about our impact in the long run, but the way that Christian Americans ran in the exact opposite direction and took it to the extreme is concerning as well. I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore, but I was a borderline extremist back in the day and even my past self would find such rhetoric disturbing.
I spent so much of my life hearing I don't deserve this love...and now, I wonder why I have self esteem issues....
When i was still a Christian and I met my fiancee, it was her love that helped convince me to leave. She saw the pain i didnt even know i was in, and comforted me. She taught me not to feel guilty all the time about every little thing. It was her love that taught me that i was deserving of more than just misery and pain.