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The beauty of the Twelfth Doctor's arc (an LGBTQ+ reading)
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- čas přidán 15. 08. 2024
- Peter Capaldi's 12th Doctor is my favorite incarnation of the Doctor on my favorite show, Doctor Who. But it's not just about his phenomenal performance. The character goes through an arc that speaks to me, not only as a fan but as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. And I've been wanting to talk about it for ages.
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"They would go with this one, not this one."
As Colin has said in multiple interviews, "Every six times they get it right!"
The twelfth official incarnation introduced was John Hurt! So hell yes, Colin Baker was correct. Capaldi is great too... well, they all are ❤
@@louisedigh3703 Pfft, if we're going by that logic, you'd have to account for The Seven Keys To Doomsday, in which case Davison is the sixth!
@@louisedigh3703 Wait, a minute. That would be the Tenth Doctor.
@@louisedigh3703 no hurt isn’t the 12th doctor as Matt stated in The Time of the Doctor hurt regents from Paul mcgann’s doctor so that would make him the 9th regeneration but the 12th actor to be the character
I will always remember when The Doctor was Peter Capaldi. He was my Doctor, he was my professor, he was my warrior, he was my hero, and I didn't want him to go.
To list off a few reasons why Twelve is my favorite Doctor:
1. Socially awkward on occasion (a trait I definitely share)
2. Only modern-era Doctor who has a primary musical instrument (as a music major, that made me smile)
3. That subtle "call me" he gave Psi at the end of Time Heist. Really sweet!
Hes my fave too!!!! I want him to be my grumpy space grandpa and teach me all the things he knows 😭😭😭😭
Like when he was a professor??? IMAGINE BEING A STUDENT OF THE DOCTOR!!!!! Or best friends. Either one. And I play guitar too I also really enjoyed that he played an instrument 😊 I like to imagine me and him just SHREDDIN 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻
@@alim.9801 the feeling when you're jealous of his companions, am i right?
Time heist is one of the most underrated doctor who episodes IMO
12 for me is a struggle between sentiment and pragmatism. He's the Doctor most focused on his responsibility he's always holding himself to such a high standard. He knows what being the Dr means in S8 but is trying too hard, being ruthlessly pragmatic in trying to get there. In S9 he's at his most sentimental, at his most dangerously co-dependent with Clara. He's very nostalgic and reflective, hence why there were so many classic who references in his era. S10 he finds the balance-- and I like that. Its a character arc that's more reflective of real life, it's better not to be all completely one thing or the other (e.g. very optimistic or a complete cynic) a happy medium is usually the best way to go about things. And what I really appreciate is that he's a character that could surprise me but when I thought about what he was doing and why it all made perfect sense and fit with his character.
I'd say 10 and 12 have the cleanest arcs, yeah.
Though I do love the arc transitioning from 8 to War to 9. That Time War trilogy of Doctors is pretty great.
@@nightowl8477 I also appreciate 9's cause in his every episode even ones not about him, there is still major character development. I never realized how important Father's Day was to 9's arc until I rewatched it a while back.
so true ben
I'd say the doctor in general is a trans icon. A constantly changing face with a name different than the one assigned at birth and constantly has people asking for their "real" name.
OMG IVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT THATS FRIGGIN GENIUS!!!!
That *is* genius wtf
That’s a cool way to look at it. Never thought of that. That’s cool.
"The name you choose, it's like a promise you make."
"You are beautiful. You are valid. You are loved."
And you made me cry. In a good way that I didn't know I needed. Thanks.
Capaldi is my favorite Doctor. I loved watching figure himself out. As a guy who has Aspergers I connected to him because I see myself. The journey through the series he had, really fleshed him out. I do miss him
Which speaks to the ability of this kind of arc to feel applicable to many people's personal journeys.
@@CouncilofGeeks exactly. I’m still figuring myself out, just he does, but for my sexuality. Great video absolutely loved it
I really get that dude, I have Asperger's too and 12 is such a philosophical role model to me.
That was the same for me with 11 AND 12 growing up watching them too.
@@CouncilofGeeks Can I just double down on this as a non-binary Aspie? XD
I love how much Capaldi's Doctor developed (at least compared to some of the other Doctors) sometimes in noticeably drastic ways and sometimes in very subtle ways. My personal favorite development he had was his views on hugs; when he first starts out he says he's not a hugger to Clara, but by the end of his Era he was definitely a hugger and valued being close to his Companions.
the development on hugs is the most wholesome thing
I loved the 12th Doctor's arc. I also really resonated with 11's speech when he regenerated. The part about being all different people all through our lives was so powerful to me that I incorporated it into my vows with my ex.
Ok those sound like AMAZING vows
@@alim.9801 thank you ☺️ I actually broke into tears yesterday when writing that comment because I realized that those vows still hold true even though she and I aren’t together anymore. Being with her made me the person I am today. I wouldn’t have had the courage to come out as a trans woman without her being in my life.
I adore that "...passing through, helping out, learning" speech...it's got a slight kind of Buddhist-y touch to it, no?
"No wonder Timelords and Buddhists get along" 5th Doctor
Screw the algorithm, this (to me at least as a cisgender, slightly bi guy) might be the most important video you've made. Showing your journey through my favourite show and my favourite doctor, made me understand so much. Thankyou for that :)
I'm interested to see where this goes. Capaldi was a phenomenal Doctor
For me the Doctor I always got drawn to and identified with was Matt Smith's 11th Doctor. He was dorky and awkward. He had his little quirks and eccentricities and I related to that. 11 was who I wanted to be if I had the confidence. He didn't care about looking silly and people looking at him funny and making comments about him being weird. He embraced it. I was very different to all the girls in my high school. I was living in my own head and in my own little world. I was never interesting in boys (closet lesbian) or makeup or stuff like that. I was at home reading books and doodling and scribbling stories in notebooks. Smith's Doctor just spoke to me. He just embraced everything about himself. Even the strange bits. He made me feel happier about myself and that fact I was different to everyone else. He was my friend that I could tune in to watch ever Saturday night and go on adventures with. My mad man with his big blue box. and like over the years since I started questioning and coming to terms with my sexuality I have just been even more drawn to the 11th Doctor. He is the one I queer read because he is the perfect example of self acceptance and embracing your own identity.
I feel as if eventhough every other doctor is the doctor, 12 in his final moments of Doctor falls etc is THE DOCTOR what the Doctor SHOULD BE, kind and fights to their last breath out of love for others rather than themselves.
Peter definitely has the best story arc for his entire regeneration. Questioning himself, as the ultimate arbiter in any situations he encounters. We see this especially with episodes like 'The Beast Below', and with the 'Timelord Victorious' and the specials. Peter's arc is clearer, fuller and just more explored than four episodes that try to cover a lot of ground. This was the 'ah, yes' moment for seeing his trajectory. Peter has the courage to question his core beliefs, to ask and be challenged by Clara, 'Into The Dalek'. I see the Doctor as someone who's blind to their sexuality. Either asexual/aromantic sometimes missing social cues. This is something I struggle with too. It's not a strong drive for me. Though I haven't ruled out Aspergers either. Eye contact is difficult for me.
The course isn't always perfectly executed, but it does seem to have a broad base who identify with him and their own challenges. I'm not sure if it's banter, abuse, or the writer's humour. But the interractions between 12 and Clara are brutal and hilarious. Heels for a date with a shelf, blindness to her age, oblivious to her make-up, or social life. Part of that appeals, as a Scottish thing, the ability to have friends insult/challenge you, and keep their friendship is precious. It's never done with cruelty. There's no deep analysis on my part, just a great character that I love.
Thank you for sharing this; these are the conversations that were the most interesting to me in terms of fandom, specifically why people gravitated so hard toward a particular incarnation of the Doctor, instead of it devolving into competitions about which one is the "best" incarnation. Everyone's reasons are personal, whether they can put their finger on exactly why or not, and discussing it is just a great way to open up new perspectives and hopefully more appreciation for folks.
"My" Doctor is and always has been 11. I'd seen some of 10's run prior to that but the series hadn't really clicked with me as strongly as it did for a lot of other people until series 5. Something about the dark, spooky fairy tale theme of that series hit a chord, but more than that was Smith's performance as the Doctor. Not only did he just bring a stellar performance that I immediately and unwaveringly believed in every scene, but I was watching it at a time when I was very quietly and slowly contemplating my own aromanticism and asexuality. I didn't even know that aromanticism was a thing at that point, and the idea of asexuality was very new to me. It wasn't a conscious thing on my part, but there was just something about this character that resonated with me in a really deep way and gave me a sense of relief and comfort. Here was someone who was quite strange to other people, who dressed and behaved in non-conforming ways, despite what anyone else had to say about it. His bow ties and fezes and suspenders made him happy and felt right, and he owned himself when he dressed that way, even though it made no sense to anyone else. Not that a dress code makes someone aro or ace, but in a metaphorical sense that resonated with me really deeply-- to be outwardly strange to other people and not care because it's who you are, and the easy way he could continually brush off complaints about how "not cool" it was and not take it personally because he was just so deeply embodying himself that it didn't matter. He made it cool.
To say nothing of the way he interacts with the concepts of romance and sex, as though they're a bit unfathomable to him. He understands what they are and that they're important to other people, and while he might flirt with it a bit as some interesting concept, it's not something he ever seems to want or to chase after or encourage anyone to pursue with him. Amy hitting on him at first was uncomfortable and he'd shut it down, River's pursuit of him seemed to be confusing, sometimes baffling, sometimes fun, and unfortunately a lot of the time, coerced. Sure, the flirting was fun but whenever it came to anything serious for her, it never felt reciprocal. It always felt to me like he understood how important and real it was for her, and he was attempting to be gentle with her feelings, but she was such a bulldozer that often giving in to her was the only way to get through to her. Others may disagree, but that's how it felt to me. Their marriage always felt very one-sided, even if it was clear that he did care about her, and it seemed like he always felt more sad for her than anything, being in love with him in a way that he couldn't reciprocate.
But despite his lack of romantic or sexual feelings, he was still unreservedly full of-- for lack of a better word-- love. For ideas and adventure and discovery, and most of all life and people. His friendship with Amy was so deep and full and resonated with me so hard because that's how I love my friends. It's love, we don't have another word for it, but it's not the sort that Amy mistook it for early on, which is something that deeply hit me. I've made that mistake in the past, not knowing that there's more than one way to love someone. Those relationships didn't survive it, so seeing theirs do so gave me so much hope. Honestly, as much as I did and still do love this iteration of the doctor, I couldn't hang on watching the show after Amy and Rory left. Those three were the connective tissue that I latched onto, and nothing worked the same after it was gone. That found family, that display of different kinds of love between the three of them, the exploration of it and the validation that the romantic one wasn't more important than the platonic one, that really meant a lot. Those episodes, the great ones and the clunkers, are not only my Doctor, they're my Doctor Who. They still bring me comfort and happiness when it feels like the world doesn't get me or even seem interested in valuing the existence of people beyond romance and sex-- it's a reminder that I can still mean something to people without those things, and that we should matter to each other without those things. People matter.
He’s my favorite as well. I also identified with him as a neurodivergent person who had to learn how to deal with people in the world. I loved the episode where he’s consoling people over the death of their teammate using flash cards.
as an autistic person myself, i can say that the doctor is definitely neurodivergent 😁
The part about when you find something that feels like it's clicking with you and so you go way too far in. I have a really hard time describing it to even myself, but I've done this so many times. Wow. I got kind of emotional with how strongly that spoke to me. I've gone way too masc and way too feem. Trying to find where I'm at. It makes me feel like I'm not really there in the meantime, and lost in my most private moments. Great video.
I feel like if I was trying to explain what kind of content this channel makes to a friend, I would show them this video title and walk out
Ohh maaaaannnnnn... Congratulations, you just FIXED s8, at least for me. And thanks for that, because Twelve is MY Doctor, and Capaldi is my favorite actor to fill the role.
Capaldi is definitely my favourite of the NuWho doctors. Capaldi's final speech is one of the first times a regeneration actually made me cry and I still tear whenever I hear it. I have a really hard connecting with others and the questioning is he a good person really resonated with me. There's a scene with Clara where she has made him cards to help him empathize with others that hot closer to home that I feel comfortable with.
My favourite overall is Tom Baker, the one I started with but from modern Who, it's a toss up between Capaldi and Smith. Which one depends on the way I feel at that specific time.
There were moments with those cards that had some phenomenal acting. Not in what he said but showing the struggle in his face, even when it was a light-hearted moment.
As someone who has also realized after 30 or so years of confusion (living rather uncomfortably as a "gay man") and coming to embrace being genderfluid over the last 3 or so years, diving in hard as you say and then walking it back, I definitely see your take here, though my own deep introspection and acceptance all came after this arc, I wonder if somehow it appealed to me because I was inspired by the fact that maybe one day I would be willing to question my own identity so hard and come out alright from it. It seems like for whatever reason, I was the only one of my Whovian friends who stuck it out through all of Capaldi's run, and I feel much better for it, especially now having this reading to connect with. Thank you!
It's always great when character growth is represented in the characters hair too.
Thank you for sharing this. Without people being willing to share I would never be able to expand my appreciation of the Doctor to experiences other than my own.
I absolutely love your take on Capaldi's 12th Doctor. He is my favorite too. I completely agree that he stands out as the only (modern era at least) Doctor to get a complete character arc. Usually (not always) the character arc domain belongs to the companion. Further I believe he is the best actor to be the Doctor. I love him because he is the quintessential soft hearted grump. His journey from questioning his goodness to doing everything in his power by word and deed to help Missy redeem herself is so heartfelt. Despite the gruff exterior he is the kindest and fiercest in his love of others even to the point of crossing his own moral boundaries. But he realizes his mistakes and feels the brunt of the consequences more deeply it seems than his former selves. It seems that by Capaldi's era the memories of the losses over his collected lifetimes is finally catching up with him. He's gone from the Time Lord who ran away to the one always running to help. Tagging on a bit to your point...at the end he didn't want to change who he was. He also was still ignorant to Missy's change of heart. I think that perceived failure weighed on him. I truly believed he hoped to leave Missy out there being a Time lady doing good across time and space. Maybe he figured the only avenue left for more growth was to become one himself.
Wow, your reading of Twelve's character arc makes me wonder if at the moment of regeneration he spared a thought for Donna, who's own arc can be seen as a tragic foreshadowing of his journey of self discovery. Both angry and ornery at the start, they slowly grow and become loving and kind and the best of themselves... only to have that development ripped away from them by forces beyond their control, regeneration and memory wipe, and both being terrified at the loss. I like to think that he did think of her in that moment. That actually sounds like a good short fanfic now that I think about it.
This is phenomenal! I’ve always loved the twelfth doctor but I never made this comparison or noticed his character arc the way you did!
I think the journey of the twelfth doctor resonates with every person struggling in their life finding their way and accepting themselves.
Life is a journey which most of us start with a goal but no means to get there, then we are trying to overachieve till we find the balance to happiness.
Every person is evolving, I think capaldi should resonate with every person who searches a true self.
This is so fascinating to me. I’ve always loved Peter Capaldi’s doctor but was never able to pinpoint why. I just knew I loved his character more than I loved the stories he was part of. I think your perspective has helped me appreciate what makes him so great.
"My Doctor" right now is Capaldi too. For similar reasons. And different reasons. I particularly related to him because, like me, he ...doesn't quite *get* ...people.
That was beautifully done dear! 12 is also my favorite for many of the reasons you stated. My journey manifested in discovering my core values and who I am. I was raised Southern Baptist and at 16 was one of the people outside of planned parenthood spreading hate. In my 20's I moved towards the 'woke' side of life and over corrected to where I was participating in the Ferguson protests without knowing exactly what I was protesting for and not doing proper research into the causes I was standing by. Through time, agony, therapy, and friends that lovingly corrected me... I'm moving towards an equilibrium of not abandoning where I came from, but deconstructing the toxic things from that time in my life to rebuild who I am.
I never would have considered this interpretation but damn, it’s good. I’m so glad you have this Doctor to emphasize with.
OK, this adds a whole new layer to 12 and I hadn't ever thought about this before. 12's arc is a thing of beauty and makes him the best Doctor we've ever had.
But what speaks to me about my favourite? Well there a many things about 11.
One is that I have kinda based my personality off of him due to me first seeing him at such a young age, but also there are those traits he has. The boundless, childlike enthusiasm, the nerdy/geeky outlook on things like bowties and the way his relationships with his friends work. And then, like me although bit wasn't based off of him, there are those dark moments of rage and anger that almost consume you. I feel that often, and then those moments where both 11 and I almost have the weight of the world on our shoulders or it feels like that and we need to battle our own inner demons and stay strong to enjoy life. And also, humans only have one life. And at this point, so did 11. He lived life like it was his only and that way of living can really speak out to us as an audience who can't time travel or regenerate. We can follow this Doctor through his final days (Or so he thinks) and identify with it greater, a trait that can also be found in 10's short lifespan. But there's just so many of these elements that truly speak to me about this incarnation. Also his Old man in a young man's body performance is exquisite.
I love pro 11,12 folks
Thank you for the clear explanation of the trans umbrella. Love love you and your channels. So look forward to your videos and opinions. Very thought provoking.
Capaldi is my favorite Doctor too. He was meant play this role at this time his life. The man has gravitas beyond any other doctor besides tenant.
Vera, I hope you see this. I binge your videos ALL the time and I love every single one. But I love this one the most. Thank you for sharing something so personal with the council. It really helps me understand better and empathize more so I can be a better ally and person and I just really appreciate you and all your videos and all the things you've taught me. And I'm so so happy that you've reached that place where you're comfortable and have your own happy medium. I dunno if you're a hugger but I'm sending a hug thru the comments. You're the best 💜💜💜
This sounds like an interesting take. Can't wait!
I never thought of the second series of capaldi's run like that, your video really helped me see that and some stuff about me growing up... thank you!
The Twelfth Doctor's arc may very well be the strongest of all the Doctors and this outlook makes it even more magical and special! Wonderful video!! :D
this is a very interesting viewpoint! i really connect to the 12th doctor as an aroace individual personally. on a recent rewatch i came across the encounter of clara asking him, "so you were pretending? to be heartless?" and that word hit me like a TRUCK
Ok off topic a little but I didn't know what aroace meant and I Googled it and basically you taught me a new word, thank you!! 😊
@@alim.9801 you're welcome! thank you for googling and not treating me like a search engine haha
You nailed why I love 12! His journey of discovery while staying true to his core of kindness. Great video.
This was such a beautiful analysis. I was so captivated throughout and got quite emotional at times.
My favourite Doctor is Twelve as well, for a lot of the reasons you stated, I love how deep and complex he is and he feels the most relatable of all the Doctors because of his journey of self-discovery. I also find him to have such a magical quality, akin to Santa or a wizard. Beyond him being a Time Lord, there's a magical quality to Twelve that makes him that much more inviting. I also just feel like he would hug me when I was sad, you know?
Wow!! So glad I've found someone else who has Capaldi as there favourite Doctor!! The best acting anyone has done playing the Doctor imo. All your other points are so well made. Loved the video. X 😊
Yesss Capaldi is the BEST!!!!! I love literally everything about him and his arc. I even love Clara bc of their chemistry together (shhh don't tell anybody lol)
@@alim.9801 I love Clara to. And she was so beautiful! ❤️
I always read Twelve as queer and autistic. He quickly became my favorite, especially in S9 where he's sort of going through a midlife crisis. (Plus the monologue in The Zygon Invasion hit me so hard. The speech is specifically about war, but anyone who's been through any sort of trauma can relate to not wanting anyone else to suffer the same way they did.)
Capaldi is also my favorite doctor, but I didn’t tie it specifically to being LGBT+. I think it’s more of a generally absurdist way of coping with life (identity, trauma, politics, caregiving profession, etc)... feel depressed in powerlessness/facing the absurd, make it a joke bc nothing really matters/no control, and just do you as you to live in defiance of the absurd...
The 12th Doctor is my doctor as well ♥
His character arc is simply the best.
For me, it's summed up in the speech you mentioned (I do what I do because it's right.... It's kind "
And the zygon inversion speech talking about using his pain to fuel him to insure others don't feel that way. Touches me on such a deep level.
Oh my God ok I got to the ending and I'm genuinely teary. I'm in a weird place in my life and I really needed to hear that. Hey Vera, in case nobody told you yet today, you are beautiful and valid and loved. I love you lots 💜💜💜 (in a non creepy way I promise, it's in like an internet friend kind of way)
Hats off to moffat he created a character arc most probably under strenuous circumstances
And at a time when a fair number of fans were saying he'd lost his touch.
@@lwaves true that
True that they were saying that, not that he lost his touch. I mean he had some messups, but he and Capaldi filled up our hearts man.
@@alim.9801 even moffats biggest critics like mrtardis,stubagful and who addicts really like him
I mean he is my fav writer(not just dr who,writer in general)
Hell bent is still garbage though
I drew the Doctor in trans art a few times on Twitter, while I was a causally watching the show since the 50th, considered Capaldi my first Doctor and my Doctor. During the time I watched his run I realized I was nonbinary myself, my Doctor Who-esq character I am writing for my comic I ended up changing to realizing they were nonbinary later after watching some of Capaldi's best episodes. You do hit and get across a lot of my feelings I have towards 12 and why 12 is my favorite Doctor.
This idea of self-discovery has always fascinated me, in the context of regeneration. What exactly changes, beyond the cosmetic? Is it the personality, the sense of self? Or his entire mind? Is the mind of Hartnell still within Whitaker?
In terms of connection, I'm split between McGann and Eccleston. McGann, especially in The Movie, addresses a very specific turning point in my life. Whereas Eccleston mirrors a lot of my temperament since that point. Never actually thought about it in that way before.
This is a brilliant and rather beautiful take on Capaldi's doctor's arc. His incarnation is my favourite and, for me, the most meaningful.
Goddammit I’m crying. Great video. 12 truly speaks to me. I think a lot about when Clara tells him she doesn’t know if he’s a good man, but he tries to be and that’s what’s important. There is so much about him and Capaldi that I adore.
12, Bill and Nardole are awesome
When I got into DoctorWho. Matt Smith was the Doctor of the time. Him being the 11th, my favorite number. His sonic being green, my favorite color. It appealed to me a lot. But, I find I enjoy him a lot, because, looking back. As an autistic person, he shared many qualities I either had, or felt I wanted, about myself. He had such nuance, despite being a nerd on the outside.
He commanded such power, with a smile on his face. He tried to be comforting, even if he didn't always want to be. He had intense anger or sorrow, but could have so much joy. And also, more relevant to my years now voice acting, he's could still do so much, and was still so loved. Despite having a higher voice. Something I too have. He could do so many things, and be loved by so many people, just by being the person that he is.
And where I don't always know what to do, the way he seemed to most times. He's a lot of the qualities I want to embody.
You are one of the only CZcamsrs I follow that seems to be considerate of when to program when ads occur so that you do not get cut off mid sentence. Thank you!
I do my best.
and it shows!
Thank you so much for sharing this take, because I feel the same way about Capaldi and his arc, and it's good to know I'm not alone. The Capaldi run coincides almost exactly with me trying to figure out who I was and where my life was going, and I fell in love with Twelve as I watched him struggling with the exact same questions.
Then he regenerated into a woman. Eight days later, my egg cracked.
I'm not saying the Capaldi run turned me trans--in hindsight, I always had been--but it definitely helped prime me for that realization, and now I can't NOT read it through that lens. So thank you for sharing that you have a similar reading.
Peter Capaldi is (currently, as you said) tied for my favorite doctor with McCoy. Because he has the arc as you said, which i love so much. Series 10 is my favorite of modern Who because of who he had become. I had 12 as my screen saver on my phone for a while, and I met someone who liked Doctor who and showed them my phone and they went, "ew, you like Capaldi? He's so mean." And it's kind of frustrating how many people I've talked to stopped or skipped Capaldi's run halfway through series 8 because they didnt like his callousness or his demeanor. Which is understandable, but I always have to tell them how much better he gets, and how much his character grows. Give Pete a chance!
This video is so perfect. I felt the Capaldi's Doctor arc talk to me as well, but in another level, however your reading is just amazing
I relate to this video a lot as an agender transmasculine person who has experienced over feminizing themselves before coming to terms with my gender identity, over analyzing my gender only caused not feeling like myself and the constant dissociation, until this video I could not identify what was the thing that clicked with capaldi's doctor, thank you so much
9 and 12 are my favorites.
As far as rhe question.... Well with 9 there's trauma that he's not even remotely ready to really unpack. It's shoved in a box. You see him try to spread joy and kindness. You see the anger slip out from all that trauma and pain, and you see him get horrified when it's pointed out/he realizes it.
The speech 12 gives is basically the same thing I've said about trying to help stray cats in a town with a big overarching problem of seeing them as vermin and still caring about them all.
I've directly been told that I should know better than to care. But it doesn't work that way. That's who I am, and I'm going to keep caring and trying until it kills me.
Seriously my cats gave a look when they heard him give that speech. I just looked at them and went huh yeah that does sound a lot like something I've said fair enough lol
Also not knowing how to interact and the whole thing he says to Clara about did you think I care so little for you. (Including the go to hell, I could absolutely see that being my response lol)
He actually helped me realize that just because you're hurt and angry and you let someone know doesn't mean you don't deeply care. Seriously, I'd feel like the worst person and like I was lying to myself about how much I care about people (my spouse especially) if I felt hurt and/or betrayed and expressed negative emotions.
If only just a tiny bit, 12 helped me break down my rules for me not for thee.
I'm late to the party but I love when the creators I watch open up. I teared up a bit.
I’m probably your oldest fan (my age not the length of my fandom) and I confess I am ignorant non gender existence but this video has helped me to understand it a little better.
This comment is so wholesome and it made me happy, I hope you keep learning and that you're hanging in there in this crazy world and you have a great day 😊💜
@@alim.9801 Thanks! No one has ever called ME wholesome before!
I am going to show this video to anyone who wants to know why Capaldi is one of my favourite Doctors! This sums up my views on him perfectly!
well I sure didn't expect this to make me cry! this was very good Nathaniel, well done :)
Just found this after watching you for years. Don’t know how I missed it.
McCoy mattered so much to me as a teen because his relationship with Ace was exactly the validation I needed that I wasn’t in the wrong for being the rebellious child who didn’t have a relationship with zir family anymore.
Eccleston completely engaged me, a person who was dealing heavily with my PTSD at the time he came along.
Capaldi, though *sigh*
Capaldi was everything.
As a ND, Queer person, I just completely understood him. He was me (but always better). He fumbled his interactions with humanity, seemingly cold whilst caring sooo much. He was a bit of a mess about how to present himself to the world, so hid it with acerbity or audacity. He was my perfect Doctor.
Thank you so much for this.
💜💜➕🌈🟦
I needed this. Thank you. I can relate to a slow journey of self-discovery, and I thought your take on Capaldi's Doctor was beautiful, especially your description of finally coming to know yourself and the fear of having that change again after all you've put into learning who you are. What an affirming interpretation of my favorite Doctor's arc.
Thanks for sharing your connection with this Doctor, I hadn't thought of his character in this light before. I think Capaldi's portrayal might be my favorite version of the Doctor for similar reasons, the depth and realness of a character who has more change over time and does more introspection than the average tv hero. Your reading adds another interesting layer to my view of the Doctor
as a trans person i really identify with this reading, i came out as a trans woman in 8th grade and i am now a high school senior. in the 5 years between i started from needing to dress and act extremely feminine despite my personality, and ended up finally accepting that i can dress and act much more masculine and still be a woman. i'm now a very happy butch lesbian and i've learned that people will embrace me for being myself instead of just a caricature of what it means to be a woman. Capaldi's first season came out in 5th grade and his final came out in 9th grade, so in a sense it feels like he really was there for me throughout.
It’s 6.30am and I’m having a little cry over my coffee, this was so beautifully done
I’ve only just come across this video, but it’s amazing. I’m FtM and going thru a lot of self discovery. I adopted Peter Capaldi as my fashion icon because I was looking for a role model to dress like. I’m also an INTJ like Twelve, so it fits. I didn’t realise other people felt this way about 12. Thanks for the video!!
Bravo! Thanks for helping this old lady understand. Capaldi is my favorite, too.
He's 100% ace
absolutely. think he might be aro too
@@somnara2927 that was my reading of the Doctor until The Husbands of River Song. Capaldi and Kingston was the only time I felt the chemistry went both ways between River and the Doctor.
@@cmmosher8035 I am aro/ace it does not mean we do not seek out love, its we do not feel romantic attraction but love, affection, needing someone that has nothing to do with sexual or romantic attraction they can go hand in hand for other people. But The Doctor could love River and still be Aro/Ace.
As an aroace person I always saw the Doctor as a panromantic asexual
Very thoughtful and insightful! The writing and acting of the Twelfth Doctor is so rich and layered that it speaks personally to many viewers with vastly different experiences and identities. He touches many of us deeply during his journey. Thank you for this video! 💜
Hey, V...still catching up :)
Glad Capaldi connects with you. You make a compelling case.
I respond to 12's changes and fears in my own. My own choices has left me alone, rudderless, and without purpose. "Am I a good man" resounds, and seeing 12 (and Picard) work it out still sustains me.
oh yes thank you, I think Twelve's arc just resonates especially well with anyone who's struggled with their identity. There's a lot of self-discovery, self-loathing and self-acceptance. I find it especially heartbreaking when he repeats "I'm not A Doctor, I am THE Doctor." No other iteration of the Doctor really dealt with what it must be like for a Time Lord to go through different faces, personalities--other *selves* while retaining the same set of memories. There's always some regeneration shenanigans for each Doctor, finding their outfit and their screwdriver and TARDIS decor, and then they move on to the adventures. But Twelve made an entire arc out of exploring who he is - as this particular incarnation as well as all incarnations combined - and coming to terms with it. I personally feel a visceral connection to how Series 9 depicts grief and trauma, the toll it takes on him and how close he comes to losing himself entirely. And at the end of his run there's a nice tie-in from 10 yelling "Where's my reward?" or 11's "the universe doesn't care" to 12's "...without witness, without reward." 12 goes from the Doctor who doesn't know if he's a good man, to the Doctor who knows that who he is where he stands and where he stands is where he falls. The Doctor who does what he does because it's who he is, not because he expects a reward.
Series 10 came out during my senior year of high school when I was in a major identity crisis and Twelve’s journey hit me really hard and since then he’s been my favorite, and all of my college dorm rooms have been covered in quotes from him.
Empowering, thought provoking, humbling - I loved this. I loved Capaldi's Doctor, I could see the wisdom, sadness and pain of his evolution during his time, and it's a phenomenal portrayal. My daughters friend has transitioned, and you sharing your thoughts and insights is so meaningful and relevant. Love your inspiring podcasts, keep on keeping on :)
You too, love your work :)
I think you've hit the nail on the head with Peter Capaldi. He quickly became my favourite Doctor too - for all the reasons you stated, and also because he felt like the first incarnation who had a real sense of awareness of not just himself, but all the other, previous incarnations of himself. With the others, sure, they knew about the previous 'versions' of themselves, but the mindset was very much, 'well, that was then, but this is who I am now, and so this is the 'me' that matters.' Whereas with 12, Capaldi somehow injected this sense of knowing and acknowledging he'd made mistakes in his previous incarnations, and if he wanted to be the best version of himself in the here and now, he needed to recognise what mindsets and personality quirks of his previous selves kept leading him astray. Capaldi's portrayal felt deeper and more open and honest.
it's interesting bc the way you described his reluctance to regenerate by it being an undoing of all the work he's done to become who he is really reminded me of donna's devastating ending. i guess it makes sense they're both your favourites :)
You’ve made me completely reinterpret the meaning of “Doctor, I let you go.” Capaldi was already my favorite doctor but now I just don’t think he can ever be topped
My fave is also 12, but the reason is because his relationship with Clara really matched my experience about being out and gay and having crushes on people I shouldn't have ("He was impossible" and all) - the regeneration is like a coming out/confession, series 8 is examining how that change affected the relationship, and series 9 is about having been accepted for having those feelings what do they do with it and how far (too far) would they go, and series 10 being a nice medium (again relating to the going too far and finding a balance thing) and having accepted that someone important is gone from his life (Clara/River for example) and how to carry on and living a good life with new people. With 12 and Missy's relationship, it does feel like an old spectre of past failed relationship, how to deal with that moving forward, accepting that and changing its relationship with you, even if it fails at some stage. Not as articulately put as you but yea that's what I'm thinking.
A clear example to illustrate that the 12th doctor had a definitive arc is that, say for the 60th, all the doctors made an appearance, any other doctor could appear from any point in their time stream and you wouldn't question it. i.e. series 5 vs series 6 11th doctor wouldn't be that jarring. Capaldi's doctor would be different and have to be played different depending on where he was at in his time stream. He is not as constant as the other doctors. Although he does have some constants like being super assertive etc.
Geez, now I kinda want to binge 12. I love Capaldi, even before he was the Doctor. I really appreciate the way you encapsulate this arc, and I appreciate hearing your thoughts.
There was a period of time during my self discovery phase, which is still going on mind, where I began to essentially cross dress, and my sister asked me why, and I was forced on the spot to define why. As I began to get comfortable in my own skin, I began to dial it back a little. I used to look like ash hardel, and now I look Anne lister, if she were alive today and had the ability to embrace the non binary lesbian she is. I wear a binder which helps a lot, I have stopped wearing dresses and skirts and heels but I rock a high waisted slack and and a belt round my waist. So I did go through a period of needing to cross dress and that was essential. It freaked other people out, and didn’t sit well with the bigots in my life. But it helps me realise how indifferent I really am to my own pronouns, and just how far away from the gender spectrum I really am. I’m a gender fluid non binary person who has two X chromosomes, a uterus and who loves and only loves other people with X chromosomes and uteruses.
omg i loved your ending speech! such a nice and kind way to end the video! so great to have some positivity!
the thing I love about capaldi's doctor is his determination. in heaven sent for example. life is a struggle and doing the right thing is hard. but to stand and fight on to do the right thing even when you are tired and broken is so beautiful to me. that is who I want to be. I want to help people. i do in little ways everyday. The doctor is an inspiration for me as a hero. i want to do good and hep people and heal. I've been thinking about becoming an actual doctor for this reason. kindness and love and empathy. it is so simple and beautiful. to choose love and creation over hate and entropy. to be a good man. I am an idot as well! but I will always try to be good. and the doctor showed me that. thank you Doctor Who.
I don’t know if you still read comments on an 8 month video but I just wanted to share this. For the longest time 12th was my favorite. He still probably is my favorite. But recently I’ve begun to relate a lot more to the 10th doctors story. Specifically in his loneliness. I think that’s a theme that pervades his run more than any other, and the stories and ways he deals with it connects with me so much right now. He can surround himself with people, but after Rose it’s so clear that he can’t let anyone back in like he wants and needs to. He can be surrounded by people who love him and who he loves (planets in the sky), He can have the whole world praying his name, but that isn’t what solves his loneliness. His story is a tragedy, and thinking about that scene with him in the rain saying goodbye to wilf…. God that fucks me up, now more than ever. I didn’t realize how much of 10’s emotions where a product of loneliness until now but on rewatching season 3 through the specials, it’s so clear and I relate to it so much.
That journey he goes through, the self discovery, the diving into one way and then another until you find balance.....uou described it well, and I feel a lot of people can relate to that, in many different ways and for a variety of moments in life.
Though I didn’t quite connect like this (and I do see how it was like you for that, and it’s fantastic) I did think 12’s time in the TARDIS was an absolutely brilliant exploration of what the name “The Doctor” is meant to represent. Moffat really understood The Doctor on a fundamental level. See his speech about why the world will always need a hero like The Doctor to know what I’m saying. I know the “never cruel or cowardly” thing isn’t something everyone loves, but I find that Moffat was really able to explore what that meant with 12. I also think, looking back, that 12’s questioning of his identity might be why he latched onto Clara in such an obsessive way-it’s similar to how 9 and 10 never got over Rose.
11 is my favorite Doctor because he encapsulates the old soul in a young body so well and I’ve lived my life like that. Also he’s the most philosophical-and often most empathetic-Doctor and that really, really speaks to me. I tend to talk a lot, as you can probably tell, but I also tend to say intelligent things (for the most part) and I often at least present as fairly wise and well-spoken (whether or not I am is a different discussion). I’m general though, on the most fundamental level, a lot of his amazing speeches just connect to me.
Capaldi's doctor means so muchto so many i adore him. S10 capaldi is my favorite doctor.
The only 2 doctors whivh have even close to as good of an arc 12 has are 5 and 9
I grew up with Tennant, but Capaldi is my favourite doctor, I look forward to hearing your take ❤
Oh, and this was a fascinating take on his arc/how you related it to your own journey. And people say Doctor Who is just some tv show. When really, it's so much more.
As someone who is genderfluid but not between the binary genders, but instead going between agender & non-binary and male & non-binary that really seriously dips their toes into female. I didn’t realise how much I needed this video, I adore Capaldi’s doctor but I’ve never viewed it this way and I totally agree.
me, wanting to close the video:
the video: you are beautiful
me: o-okay, I'll stay for few more seconds
The fact the Doctor could have an arc throughout their incarnation was somehow mindblowing to me whenever I looked back at Capaldi's run. That could be a part of why he's my favourite along with the accent and the sacarstic wit (to put it briefly), but the main reason is how he fits my personal idea of the quintessential Doctor so perfectly. He's someone I can strive to become and be proud for it, and if a 2000 year old alien who knew near enough everything ever existed, Capaldi's how I can see it happening.
This is one of the best videos I've watched, thanks very much for sharing this...I've been a fan of Doctor Who since the late 1970s and I think Capaldi is my favourite too. A great inspiration for all of us. Thank you.
I missed this when it came out, I think you hit on something really good. I had a moment when I had a break through at acknowledged myself (not just as non-binary but in the things I wanted to do in life and the approach I wanted to take) with the same realisation that Capaldi has; "I am... an idiot" - but not in a negative way.
Even tho 12 came close for the very same reasons, 10 is to this day MY Doctor. For me, it's the intensity i guess. The angst. I did discover the show just before beginning my teenage years and it's played a huge role in my development. So all the grunge, the pain and the effervescence of the 10th Doctor felt magical to me. Also, his constant duality, being aware of his darkness, being so quick to making emotional mistakes, his arrogance, those are very human flaws that his incarnation focused on and that I find extremely relatable. And I do think that I learned how to overcome that alongside the 10th Doctor, running around, laughing and being absolutely in love with the beauty of this universe.
That being said, I have to give 12 his proper merit cause today I live my life by a very simple yet powerful creed: Run fast. Laugh hard. Be kind.
I appreciate how you explained why you are a fan of 12 and why his is your favourite. For me I find 11 more relatable, mainly because I have ADHD. Matt is socially awkward, can be all over the place, seems to be doing multiple things at once until he needs to hyper focus and then is very single minded, and he can’t sit still. I relate to that a lot.
Wow. Now I feel like I need to watch 12's run again... Never thought I'd say that.
Since I've seen mostly comments about 11 but none about 10, I'd like to add my story: "My" doctor was 10. Objectively speaking, I will be the first to admit that 11 was more alien, perhaps the 'better' interpretation - but also more distant. 10, by contrast, just pulled me in. I remember that first scene, with Rose in the Tardis, where she is shaken by the regeneration she just witnessed, and he, eventually, leans his head to the side and smiles (I think that's when he decides to try to go to Barcelona?). At that moment, with that smile, my heart opened up for him. 10's very strong, very human emotions allowed me to connect to the character in a way no other version did. I felt like I'd be welcome in the Tardis, just as I am, with my own stormy emotions, and not be belittled for them. And the last couple episodes (specials), where he gets all dark and closes himself off, I felt that very personally. Rejecting the world that has, you feel, wronged you, and the people outside can see this is bad for you, but you yourself cannot. I felt that, even if I did not understand it at the time.
Hi I'm rewatching the capaldi run and as someone who suffered from anxiety and depression your reading resonated with me a lot. I've gone from always anxious and quiet to overly loud and annoying 2 some people n I'm trying 2 find a middle ground still. So I wanted to thank you for helping me see capaldis run this way even though I already loved it.
Edit: thanks for the like