Jessi Hildebrandt Speaks Out Against Jodi Hildebrandt, 8 Passengers & Ruby Franke | Ep. 1808
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- čas přidán 9. 06. 2024
- Mormon therapist Jodi Hildebrandt is in jail along with "8 Passengers" mother Ruby Franke under allegations of child abuse. Jodi Hildebrandt is the founder of ConneXions Classroom - a program created to help Mormon couples, parents, and families "transform your mental health and relationships."
Jessi Hildebrandt (they/them) is Jodi Hildebrandt's niece and outlines a deeply disturbing history with their aunt Jodi Hildebrandt.
Please join us for Jessi's story.
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Episode Show Notes: www.mormonstories.org/portfol...
Chapters
00:00:00 Intro
00:03:40 Jessi Hildebrandt is Jodi Hildebrandt’s niece
00:03:57 What Jessi wrote to Mormon Stories
00:10:19 One of the reasons Jessi wanted to speak out, anyone who has experienced abuse
00:14:35 Grew up in California
00:29:00 Jessi’s dad and Jodi are siblings; Jodi’s childhood
00:34:55 Questions concerning Jodi perhaps suppressing same-sex sexuality;
00:41:00 Jessi’s struggles in High School
00:43:00 Story of staying over at Jodi’s house for their grandparents anniversary
00:53:50 With Jodi there is only Good and Evil, no in-between
00:54:35 Jodi genuinely believed that Satan was working through Jessi
00:57:15 The Mormon church was funding Jodi Hildebrandt
01:00:15 Spiritual surgery, so it has to be extreme
01:03:40 Jessi was duct taped because everything they said was a lie
01:08:35 It didn't start out as horrifically abusive
01:12:40 Jodi believed that if you were angry, depressed, etc. It was a result of SHAME and shame was a result of SIN - so mental health was a result of sin
01:15:00 Jodi would say: “I’m trying to make you so physically uncomfortable that it forces the sin out of you.”
01:18:40 Jessi slept on a loveseat, then the floor, then on the balcony outside
01:24:40 Jodi would make them run sprints every night,
01:27:25 There are moments in the abuse where you are rewarded
01:35:00 Jodi is the mastermind not Ruby, but Ruby put her in the spotlight
01:37:44 You don’t need to forgive people who have abused you
01:47:20 The Mormon church gave Jodi her power, where was God in this?
01:49:00 Jodi full believes in her own bulls*it
01:53:20 Jodi’s beliefs in Mormon doctrines and ideas, etc
01:55:35 Does the worth of a soul justify abuse?
02:00:45 Sex addiction and porn addiction is not real
02:10:30 Jessi’s outlook on how their parents dealt with this
02:21:30 They wish their parents would acknowledge that it happened
02:23:20 Jodi was put on parole because she violated HIPAA
02:31:15 They feel lucky to have created the life that they have
02:34:20 Leaving the Mormon church
02:49:00 Good things and good morals are not exclusive to Mormonism or religion
02:52:15 Religion has to be the disease AND the cure
03:00:00 Have they considered writing a book?
03:04:15 They had given up anyone listening to or believing their story
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"Abusers lose the right to privacy, it's my story now". That is the most liberating epiphany right there. WOW. I wish every silenced victim would see this!
Beautifully said
It’s true. They made it your problem and therefore your own story to tell. And if the abuser is too ashamed for that story to come out, they should take that as a learning lesson and an opportunity to reflect on their choices. Maybe they should have thought of that beforehand.
Perfect.
That is genius, and such an enlightening statement. Coming from an abusive family of origin, where the motto was “keep it in the family” this is empowering. I wish J. healing and peace.
So powerful
Take notes, interviewers. This is how it should be done. Allowing the guest to speak and tell their story without interjecting or interrupting. Great job
💯. Agree
I liked the video for Jessi (and went to follow their tattoo insta), but I subscribed for the interviewer. Aside from doing a fantastic job at interviewing, it's important to have a respectful, open-minded figure facilitating the stories of those that have been abused under these religious institutions.
I agree so many times I’ve had to leave a channel because the actual person running the channel could not shut up and let their guest talk
This is the best interview with her I've seen, and there is a few. His interview method made this feel like he was really listening to her story.
True, then you edit it down to make intriguing!
My mom is also a Mormon therapist and throughout my life she too would use dreams that "the spirit told me you did drugs" or alcohol, or had an abortion. I had not done any of those things and thats when i started questioning if the spirit even worked because clearly it mislead my mother.
IMHO, that is nosy, not spiritual.
There is no spirit sending messages to certain people. It is either manipulation or mental illness Period, Full Stop!
That is so messed up. I’m sorry that happened to you. 💔
What are you waiting for.??¿
What are you waiting for.?? YES you are crazy
When Jessie said "I don't owe my abusers forgiveness" I felt that deeply. It's one thing if your abusers recognize their actions and take accountability for it, but the ones that just don't understand their entire philosophy of rearing children is *abuse*. Familial connection is not a free pass to abuse.
When Jesse said at the beginning of the interview, "She destroyed my reputation," That sealed Jodi's narcissism for me. When narcissists can't control you, they control how other people see you.
Jodi is a narssistic sociopath
Aha sounds like my sister :( . I was so stupid I only realised in my thirties what she was
@@luluah1198don’t worry love you aren’t stupid for not seeing it sooner, you have a good heart that probably didn’t want to see it sooner. And just because you may not have that sisterly bond with her, you can always find it within others. Sending much love and hugs to you my friend ❤️
@luluah1198, you were not stupid! We want to believe that our family members genuinely care about us. We want to believe we have those authentic relationships with siblings that one sees in the movies or reads about in a greeting card. It's not your fault that your sibling has huge character flaws. What is important is that you know now and I hope you can create the boundaries you need.
I would add psychopathy too. Narcissists usually don't torture their victims physically like this, but psychopaths do. Narcissism is a part of psychopathy though (all psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths), and destroying someone's reputation is definitely a narcissistic act.
I’ve been tattooed by jessi before, we both have Mormon backgrounds and talked about leaving. I had no idea this is what they endured. Jessi is so brave ❤️ proud to have their art on me forever
Their work is beautiful.
(Don't mind me, I'm just here to jump this comment)
Out of curiosity: what tattoo design did you get on you? :)
@@timvandeursen2687they have tattooed me twice, I have a scorpion and a vase
Wow what an honor to get her art on you❤ she’s a powerful lady
The fact that Jessi didn't die during the abuse just shows how strong they were even back then! You deserve the world, hun. WE BELIEVE YOU!
I’m not Mormon, I came here from the news of Jodi and the headlines surrounding her. I’ve seen snippets of Jessi on other channels covering this story, so I came to listen…
WOW! I’ve been listening whilst getting ready for and en route to work this morning. It’s 2 weeks after you first posted it, and I watch from Australia.
I have felt every emotion there is watching and hearing this amazing Humans story! It’s been triggering because of the abuse I endured as a child. It was triggering listening to Jessi describe their relationship with their Father, and the similarities of the type of father he was/is are mind blowing! Jessie’s mother sounds like mine, their Brother and his reaction to what happened sounds like my sister…
This interview has had me feeling raw emotion as my memories and feelings stirred up. Then to witness the beauty that literally oozed from Jessie’s soul made me cry 😢
What a truly beautiful Human 🤍🤍🤍
Totally agree! Best of everything to you. ❤😊
FYI I know you’ve already figured out your worth, but coming from a 50-yr-old Christian mom-like woman, I want your to hear-You are an easy person to love. So articulate, intelligent, deep, resilient, authentic, kind, no facade. I’m so sorry your family by birth has largely missed out on the beautiful you
What she said
👏👏👏👏👏
How I would give anything to have been a bystander and to have rescued from you from this horrible abuse. You are enough. You have a beautiful soul. Your beauty shines from within. Hold your head high. Use your pain and give it away by loving those you meet especially those in need. The irony in all of this is that you are far more complete than Jodi Hildebrandt ever was or likely ever will be. Here is a big virtual motherly hug. I am so sorry that you had to live through this and experience so much cruelty. You got this!! You are strong!! No one can ever do this to you again!!!❤
This!!! ❤❤❤
YES!!!! This ❤
Jessi, you may never see this but the comment your father made about “nobody’s on your side”, is wildly untrue. You have tens of thousands of people who stand with you, who will listen to you, respect you,support you, and hope the best for you. You forever have our support. Stay strong and take care, Jessi ♥️
You are beautiful Jessie. I am so sorry you had to go thru this hugs Januari ❤🫂❤️🩸❤️🌺
I would say millions!
Now thousands if not millions are ❤💜💜💜
I hope her family reaches out to her!
I understand your emotions. I turned 73 😮 I heal everyday from the horrific abuse I suffered at my Grandfather's hands. It wasn't not believed it just wasn't ever talked about. I felt how can't you talk about this? There are 7 years of abuse I've lived through. They believed me but he was never made accountable for doing things that are too awful to write. It's like nothing happened. I'm severely PTSD and there's time I feel insane,and I'm not. It will take a lifetime to get better. I have everything I love,so I have everything I need.
Isn't it ironic that Jessi is helping so many others spiritually and emotionally and Jodi is in jail!!!!!
Jessi is so emotionally intelligent. Well spoken. She should be so proud of herself!! 💜💜
I am just a mom and a grandma and all I want to do is to give you a hug and tell you that you are loved…you are so strong, smart, articulate, kind and beautiful…you are and will continue to be such a blessing to so many people that have heard your story and continue to hear as this terrible tragedy unfolds. Thank you so much!!
Wow. The world is a better place because Jessi was willing to share their story. Jessi deserves the world’s largest microphone. What an articulate, well spoken, vulnerable, open human being.
I hope she's called to testify.
I think the world would be a better place without Mormons or any other religious cults …but that’s just me
Amen!
What an extraordinary person!
If you can find Adam Steed's encounter with Jodi she has mastered destroying her victims' life. Jessi is amazing and extremely resilient. She also called out her aunt's "mission" in life, to utterly wreck her victims' lives. Ruby and Jodi are both toxic people but Jodi is the key to this mess, may they both rot in hell. So thankful that Jessi is strong and living a full life.
I was sexually abused for 13 years as a child. The very best thing you said was, “You don’t have to forgive them.”
And yes. WRITE the book.
Occurring to the Our Father prayer you need to.
That’s so true, it’s so weird to expect abuse victims to find forgiveness. If that’s a natural part of someone’s healing process, then great. But forgiving terrible people is God’s job imo, not the responsibility of the victim
This. It’s such a breath of fresh air to watch someone else who went through childhood trauma say it! I’m also a CSA survivor and the amount of people who don’t understand that I don’t want to forgive, I don’t have to (especially because the perpetrator died before I got justice or closure) and that actually not forcing myself to forgive is the healthier path for me. I’m really glad that forgiveness brings peace to some victims and survivors but for some of us the opposite is true 💜
@@standback5806they might not believe in “your father” and that’s okay too. Maybe they do and still don’t want to forgive their abusers. I think it’s completely unreasonable to expect people that have endured unthinkable abuse to forgive their abusers. Absolutely not. This comment was uncalled for.
I always ALWAYS promote the phrase ‘you DO NOT need to forgive your abusers’ so glad you found this to ring true. Wishing you healing and love ❤
This young woman is absolutely amazing. I am so beyond impressed. She speaks so eloquently about what happened. She has the bravery to come forward and be understated. I rolled my eyes, when Jody claimed Jessie was looking for attention. The only person looking for attention, power and money, was Jodi Hildebrandt! Keep up the great work, Jesse! You are worth it. ❤️❤️
this is a wonderful sentiment, but jessi is nonbinary and uses they/them 💞 much love
Very brave young woman.
@@DakBabyNewt shut up
Jessi, you have helped me. I’m a 60 yr old female who has separated from evangelical Christianity, broken ties to my family and the church I was raised in.
I have worked and received three degrees. Fought for freedom from them.
Survived an abusive 21 yr marriage and now being free of him for 17 yrs… I have been decoding.
I hear the church, I hear my parents, I hear my ex but Gd it I have fought so hard to be free.
Therapy has helped me and I will be fighting to stay free until I breathe my last breath. But know , I sat here nodding my head, crying and feel seen and heard by hearing your heart tonight.
I offer my heart to say I am so very sad for you. I’m sorry for your pain. Please know my heart will always hold you. We are CPTSD twins with decades in age difference.
Your intelligence and self taught wisdom make my heart smile.
Young one, you will heal and we will be cheering you on.
May your life be full of hope, peace and joy.
Paula Marie
I may email 😊
I met Jessi in 2011 after they got away from Jodi. I was going through a divorce and we were both in hair school together. They have always been this lovely, intelligent, resilient and strong. I was amazed then by their talent, beauty and light. They’ve always been extremely empathetic and kind. They were so young get so wide. I hold dear the moments we shared and their incredible kindness. At one of my lowest points they gave me $200 to be able to buy groceries for me and my kids. They were just a kid, they didn’t have much and I remember how incredibly loving and generous that gesture was. Later on they lived with me for awhile. Jessi is the real deal. What you see is what you get with them. I’m overjoyed that they finally get the validation they deserve. Hopefully justice will be served. I love you, Jessi.
Who is they
@@serinaborbon548- Jessi prefers they/them pronouns. Their story is what we should all focus on - it’s horrific and shocking… and so well-articulated in this interview.
@@Shelsightdoes that indicate multiple personality condition? Caused by her trauma?
@@vikki4nowno it has nothing to do with that .
I know you’re being respectful of pronouns but that was exhausting to read like that 😭😭
I’m 60 and not been active in Mormon church for years. Your courage has convinced me to move forward with having my records removed from church records.
Good on you!! ❤
love this for you
What does that mean?
Amen sister I feel the same!
@@kaymaheu295she is basically saying she officially broke up with the church
I could see Jessi's CPTSD surfacing the second they started describing Jodi's office in which they'd been locked. Survivor to survivor (I also have CPTSD), I'm in awe of this beautiful human being. John, thanks for giving them so much space to speak freely and eloquently about their tragic story.
"My mother was a orderly housewife, I had undiahgnosed ADHD..."
I just shouted over here, you were basically telling my story.
Big hugs!!!❤❤❤
You are wonderful just as you are, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ❤
Me too!
My mom also paraded me around to tell the neighbors that the abuse I had accidentally told them about was a lie and that "I love my mother and she takes care of me". She was more concerned of how she was perceived as a neighbor than she was about being a decent mother.
Omg! I'm sorry
So sorry that happened to you
My mother did the same,😊
My mum did that too, infact they would write on my school reports, which had to be signed by a parent and any comments attached to be handed back to the teacher, that I was a compulsive liar to cover their ass's and that would follow me for years. Know your strength and that you are amazing and do not allow those ghosts follow you through your life...
Same. And she wasn’t even Mormon, just a covert narcissist.
Probably one of the best interviewers I’ve ever seen. He was respectful, allowed them to speak and raised genuine questions whilst reassuring them that they didn’t need to expose anything that they didn’t want to share.
The prosecutor will have to put her on the stand. I'd love the aunt to get the karma she deserves.
He is wonderful & so is Jessie
John is the best!
I've just discovered this channel. Both the interviewer and interviewee were VERY transparent. Loved the rants - they were TOTALLY justified. At first, I was shocked, then enraged - then cried - I just hope that Jessie realizes now how many supporters she does have. I honor her bravery - it took a LOT for her to come out and bare her soul. Brava GIRL!
As a British person who was raised without religion,i have noticed this kind of "forgiveness culture" in America.We just don't talk about forgiving in the same way here-it's up to the individual.Jessi is an amazing person,I wish them all the best in continuing to heal.
Australian here. I agree. Forgiveness here is different in that you forgive for your own benefit, not theirs. Anger is a burden you can shed when you get tired of carrying it by forgiving and moving on.
I wish we didn't.
We in the US learn to forgive even our enemies because of knowing about Jesus and his forgiveness and love for us. It is very hard for me to forgive people who have hurt or wronged me.
Being raised my whole life by 2 religious but 2 ,totally different religions, i Learned love N forgiveness from both my parents also. It is also up to the individual person if they forgive or don't forgive themselves or others. It's a choice we all make for ourselves.
Message to the interviewer thank you for letting this smart articulate young lady tell her story . Her bravery is astounding.....Jessi you win!!❤
I really love how you didn’t interrupt them with many questions & just let them speak her story. My heart goes out to all Jodi’s victims
This is the best part.
My heart goes out to all Jodi's victims as well. Jessi prefers to be referred to as they/them, it was brought up more than once as a very significant part of the story. no hate towards you, maybe you didn't catch that part, just sticking up for one of my fellow spiritually abused enbies.
*them
It seems like the 8 passenger mom was influenced by Jodi Hildebrandt. The woman divorced her husband and started abusing her kids..Not an excuse
Yup Jesse's amazing and so articulate and insightful!
When Jessi said that the police dept is reopening their case I started to clap and tears came to my eyes. You deserve justice! 💜
Whys everyone saying their? Is it about a few people? Just started watching and reading comments
@@unknownunknown2576i assume jessi goes by they/them pronouns but im not completely sure abt that, just a possible answer to ur questions OR they could be using “they” when referring to the children as a family
5:50 he mentions that jessi goes by they/them pronouns!
I don't do pronouns , thats my choice and that's my right . Nothing against her , I just won't do the woke crap .
@@desertsunset8025well you do you no matter how rude and ignorant
I hate that people don’t report abuse. So many people have told me that they didn’t know what to do and they never reported abuse. Some have told me they have thought about it but didn’t want to cross my mom. People fail children time and time again with failing to report abuse
I became a pariah with some people in my ward because I reported the abuse happening to my daughter’s friend. As a nurse, I’m a mandatory reporter and I could not accept “the bishop is handling it” as enough. The backlash was intense.
52:38 “Having a MySpace. Drinking a coffee. MURDER.” The Mormon experience 😂 This interview was so relatable. Really grateful they took the time and were so vulnerable.
I have to say that along with Jodi, Jessi’s parents are culpable of neglect: emotional, educational and physical. I’m appalled by what they did and allowed to happen.
Don't leave the grandparents out of the picture.
They deserve to be locked up as well. I see that Mormon church is evil
generational trauma is a thing, with another famous cult coming under scrutiny today for hiding a member's sex crimes I don't know what it will take to rid ourselves of these vile cults.
Yes. Agreed.
@@elizabethkline2779That’s no excuse. It’s a parents job to know what’s going on with their child. They never checked in with their child. They are absolutely responsible and took a part in what happened to her.
Jessie, the monster wasn’t you, it was the person who abused you and the people that allowed it to happen. My heart goes out to you, and I admire you greatly.
She is the best. She’s the first person “related” to these crimes who has spoken up for the children and opened, I hope, the LE community up there. TY Jessi💚
Ex Mormon here - I wanted to mention, my friend Heidi, also an Ex Mormon, went to Pacifica University to get her Therapist degree. She actually SPECIALIZES and is writing the literal curriculumn for other therapists on Religious Recovery. You guys could talk for hours. Also, my brother was the Hearing Judge in Ruby’s case today.
You are inspirational.
I hope that your brother is GREAT at his job. 😉😅💪🏼⚖💯🎯❤🩹
I hope your brother sends Jodi straight to hell - not just jail
@@Jerry-tk7hnI think many of us are concerned about this.
The fact that the whole world is watching, gives me a little hope.
I hope your brother hears Jessi on here…..she’s a victim of Jodi and sheds a lot of light of what her aunt is capable of!!!! Jessi is so articulate and intelligent!!!!! I wish her much continued healing in her life💕
We hear you Jessi…..and our hearts are with you💕💕💕💕
Jessi says their brother was a certified genius - I think they qualify double. Such bravery, intelligence, and emotional insight not to mention artistic talent. Jessi - you have so many gifts, I'm grateful you are safe and healthy and can share them with the world. Good healing to you from Canada ❤
Wonderfully said. I agree!
As do I!
Agreed
100% agree!
They are definitely a profoundly gifted person.
What an incredibly brave and well spoken person. Its horrific the abuses you went under Jodi and no support you got at the time, especially at a vulnerable time. Thank you for sharing your words and your story. You are inspirational.
Jessi is so articulate and giving us a real insight into how manipulative adults can be to children.
I think it's also about the negative power of this type of religion. Remember she was duck taped in church and no one said anything. Church guidance can be toxic. We all should be critical thinkers and some religions aren't in sync with questions or thinking outside the box.
Let's remember we can seek justice for Jodi's victims without minimising Ruby and Kevin's role in the cruelty and torture of their own kids.
Let's not create a narrative aiding in the defense of Ruby/kevin Frank of being a well-meaning parents manipulated and corrupted by an influential LDS figurehead.
The Franke parents were demonstrating signs of sociopathy and narcissism long before Jodi entered the scene.
It's not anyone's story to tell but Ruby's children how the cruelty originated and progressed.
Jesse is AMAZING!!!👌
So glad to see a real Christian actually preaching Jesus's message. I am a Jew and I can see this hypocrisy for what it is: using faith as an excuse to abuse
ya wonder why she was kicked out of her own home by her own mother and father - nice kid
Jessi, your story was moving. My mom began calling me a sl*t and wh*re beginning at the age of 12, long before I had ever even held a boy’s hand. I couldn’t have a bedroom door, couldn’t wear tampons, couldn’t shave… I was brainwashed into believing that I was bad once I went through puberty. I agree with you about not forgiving your abusers. Forgiveness doesn’t grant any healing for me, it only helps the person who abused me. Thank you for coming forward and showing people like me that we are not alone.
I don't know where all this craziness started. I'm not of any religion, my parents were Lutherans but quit the church. None the less they still had beliefs that came through to us kids. Baby boomer child here. When I read your second sentence it brought back memories of my two older sister in 1970, they had blossomed. And my dad for some crazy reason called my sisters slut (had no idea what the word meant at that time) as they were starting high school. My mom got upset, but he continued is you get pregnant don't bother coming home. That old don't shame the family name thinking. We lived in dump and really had no desire to have anyone know this... so it was very painful for my sisters.
But this fear of sex was not openly spoken about by my mother, my mom blames boys for having dirty thoughts, did believe girls that slept around were sluts.
So in spite of not going to church we still got tidbits of it through the engrained beliefs of my parents. Sad how religion has been so abused, for power, greed, by those that want to condemn others. THANKS for reading Haley just wanted you to know religious soul beating, has been generational abuse. Imagine living in 1600.
OMG my dad called me a slut and a whore at 12-13 also it literally fucked my entire way of viewing sexuality and created some deeeeply insane behavior I’ve done
I grew up Mormon and my Mom called me and my Sisters wh0re once we started becoming teenagers. We were really good kids and I don’t know why she did that. But now it seems common among Mormon parents.
@xlifexwithxlithiumx I understand you totally. When I was 18, my abusive bullying stepfather had an affair with a widow of one of his close friends. He got together with her the night of his friend's funeral! Anyway, he kept the affair secret for a few months before telling my mum and then left. My mum was devastated. My sister and I were secretly elated at not having to worry anymore about coming home from work to his wrath and fury! Then, about six months later, he found out that his mistress widow was also seeing several other men, so then decided he wanted to come back home. My mum let him come home for a trial weekend. We were told to be on our best behaviour. Back then, we were only allowed a bath once a week on a Sunday. So Sunday morning arrives, and I politely ask my family if anyone needs to use the bathroom before I take my bath. I had only been in the bath for literally two minutes when he came storming up the stairs, shouting "get out of the bathroom, you f...king whore, you fu..king slut" For the first time in my life, I spoke back at him, saying " how dare you call me that, after what you have put my mum through" Well, with that he literally knocked the locked bathroom door off its hinges and the door fell flat into the bathroom. He grabbed me by my hair whilst I was naked in the bath and started slamming my head against the tiles. It took my mum, my brother, and a neighbour to get him off from me. He liked to use his fist and grab our books! Oh, and my mum took him back. In fact, they have just celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary! I didn't speak to him for a couple of years, and my mum, whom I loved dearly, cut me off because of it. She made me apologise to him a few years later, even though I didn't do anything wrong! I get on well with him now, he's mellowed with age, although none of my grown up children have ever felt comfortable around him, nor my grandchildren, and sadly even now my mum and him dominate me, even though I care for them. I would love to feel free, I really would. I'm sixty now and often wonder if I'll go before them and never experience a few years of peace!
I can't 'like' this comment, for what should be obvious reasons, but I very much 'like' your drive to survive the horror. My best wishes for your blossoming despite the dung your youth was fertilized with.@@hedgiemum5778 t
My mom was the same type of parent, and I never thought I’d get justice. But this case on its own has given me so much clarity on my situation. I wish my mother would go to jail too, but knowing that Jodi and Ruby are, makes me feel how much closer to justice I am. So thank you Jessi.
She said Gilroy and my heart dropped, I was stuck out in Dos Palos just near there…. Oh my god….
Can't the victims of Jodi get together and file a class action lawsuit
I’m so glad that this interview came out before the preliminary hearing for ruby and Jody. It says a lot and proves how much they are lying about
It certainly is alarming, but it isn't "proof" on its own. It's credible and it's certainly more smoke coming from a blazing inferno, but don't confuse it for proof.
I don't know anything Abt the preliminary hearing for Ruby and Jodi. I don't doubt that they lied. Can you pls share what they said at that hearing? I'm just horrified by this Jodi person and would like to know more
Money talks 😢
As a parent of a profoundly gifted child. She is one. They’re not the “inside the box” people. They’re the squeaky wheels like Jessi. Emotions, questions, curiosity, art, precociousness, etc.
They. I’m sorry. I wrote this comment before Jessi explained their gender identity l
@kristenmuir80 thank you for correcting! I also go by they/them but I understand slipups occur and I just appreciate people trying to learn and respect. 🙏
@@kristenmuir80What?
@@yogadork_namastethis whole thread of comments makes my heart so happy. And to think, on a mormon channel!
She is obviously highly or even profoundly gifted! Sue the church as well as Jodi!
Please write a book! This is by far the most profound and insightful interview I've seen regarding high demand religion/cults, cult leaders, and all forms of abuse. Doesn't even have to be a book about this exactly, I get not wanting to relive the trauma. So write about anything! I'd want to read your thoughts about anything. You're beautiful and articulate, and that's what would make your book worth reading. Like, you're interesting and worthwhile, even without having been involved in this sensational story that everyone is curious about.
Honestly, I'm a nomo, barely raised Christian, athiest, but with semi conservative values. I'd be interested in reading about your ethical values and your secular basis for them. Don't sell yourself short, at 30 you seem to have figured it out pretty solidly.
Cannot telll you how much this has brought me help and hope and amazement. Jessi, you are SO amazing. Your understanding is beyond me, and I've been working on this for 50 years! Thank you SO much for coming forward and being so brave.
I am weeping. I'm not Mormon but a conversion therapy survivor who lived with a cult as a teen from 16-18. I am now a queer sex counselor. Jessi had me WEEPING. You are strong, eloquent and spoke truth to power with a light that is incandescent. Thank you for sharing your venmo. You deserve all the love in the world! Sending you a boatload from Olympia, WA.
Hi neighbor! I’m listening from Seattle. ❤😊❤😊
@mskama ❤❤❤❤ you are amazing. Washington children and adults are so lucky to have you . I know you are an emotional refuge for so many!
@@juskittenaround awww! How kind of you to say! I just try to help people have a better relationship to their own bodies, that pleasure, partnered or not, is normal and not shameful. Its amazing what a little permission and support will do! Thank you for your kind words!
@@letahamilton hey hey! 😊
Jessi, you need to write a book of survival. I'm blown away by your intelligence.
Every fiber of my being hopes that your mom watches this, comes to you and says I'm sorry. You deserve it more than anything! Powerful interview and I am so sorry
Narcissists don’t. She will be free by not handing her power to her abuser.
Mothers don’t do these things to there children, it’s all wrong, most mothers would never inflict any pain of any kind
Why is it tha there appears to be the most abuse in so called religious sects or main stream for that matter, all hide behind respectability 😢
@@user-fw2pp3wm2konce you turn over your thinking to someone else you are at a high risk of predators.
her parents contribute to this. and they should be held accountable too!
chills. thank you jessi for coming out with this story. the interviewer was perfect as well.
So proud of you for speaking out! And so glad they are re-opening your case, Jessi. Wishing you well!
As a mother, I just can't wrap my brain around treating my children this way, or allowing someone else to treat them the way Jodi and Ruby did. If anybody tried, I would tear them apart with my bare hands.
Jessi is such an amazing, strong, intelligent, courageous person. Kudos to them for speaking out and being a voice for victims of abuse. Abuse thrives in secrecy and darkness; the only way it gets better is for people to shine a spotlight on it. Wishing Jessi well in all their future endeavors!
And the kids got let down and left unprotected not only by the mom, but also the dad. I’m not in the “dad knew everything” camp, but even from the few things I had heard of Ruby even before the arrest…I would never leave my kids with her, or at a minimum, check in with them on a regular and private basis to see how they are being treated. Dad surely knew more about her than I did….and just kind of left the kids trapped with and dependent on her.
@@Itried20takennames exactly. Your #1 duty as a parent is to keep your children safe, even if that means keeping them safe from their other parent. I just can't fathom willingly having no contact with my children for over a year and convincing myself that'll actually be good for them. SMH
This really is the most important interview MS has ever done. Jessi, your ability to tell your story with so much thought and wisdom is incredible. I’ve been a licensed therapist for over 12 years and I am just in awe of the hard work you’ve done to heal from the abuse you endured.
🎯💯❤🩹💪🏼🌹
I hope Jessie gets to testify at Jodies trial! At least at the sentencing hearing
@@I_HaVe_QuEsTiOnS4uAmen to that! 🙏🏼
Jessie and Mormon Stories should send this video testimony to the Prosecutors in the Hildebrand case. Adam Paul Steed’s video as well. Very important!
I love hearing this. Jessi is clearly so strong and like you said, has done so much work to move on and heal from this. I can’t imagine how hard it was to go through
Best interview. Jessi is sooo beautifully articulate. John, I thank Ruby & Jodi for bringing you to me. You run your channel so beautifully with integrity. I will contribute to Jessi
such an incredible interview. I feel so inspired by Jessi’s bravery. I have complex ptsd from
childhood trauma and this is one of the most validating interviews i have ever seen.
I cannot believe the torture that Jessi had to endure. I can’t imagine being betrayed and abandoned by your own family AND having a church and supposedly religious people enable these horrors. The police failure is obscene. I feel physically sick. Jessi is amazing.
It's a form of SRA - satanic ritual abuse.
I notice there hasn't been a lot of commentary on Jessi's parents. They weren't doing anything wrong, just being a teenager?, but somehow they went to dinner at their aunt's house and it ended with being abandoned there by their parents. Mom and Dad didn't speak to Jessi for months at a time, they didn't seem to notice their kid was terrified and miserable, they were easily appeased when told their child was sleeping outside in the snow.
I know it's not the main point of the story but I need people to acknowledge how incredibly fucked-up their parents also were. I hope Jessi has found family more worthy of them than these selfish, twisted monsters.
I'm 71 with no tattoos. This makes me want to get one from Jessi. Incredible interview. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
@haven311 That hit me hard too! HOW does ANYONE just walk off and leave their child and NOT check on them but how does one leave them behind in the 1st place! That's messed up! I'm very glad they're away BUT not happy at all about their circumstances! They have done well for themselves but I see the hurt, I think we all can. They need their parents love, TRUE LOVE.. NOT THAT FAKE CRAP, because of all of the news that's come out. This is really breaking my heart if I think to much about it. I just couldn't imagine either of my children, heck, ANYONES child, being treated like this child was. I hope they get justice and some inner peace that they truly deserve!!
Much abuse is done in the name of religion…I’m sure God is not pleased.
As an aunt I CANNOT imagine showing anything but love and joy when being with my nieces. Jessi, I am so sorry you didn't get the auntie you deserved. ❤️🩹
I wish I had an aunt like you
@@Katieann143 😭! I hope you are able to get some women in your life who fill that void and also to become an aunty yourself. ❤️🩹 I'm a mom now, but was an aunt for a decade before I had my own children. Sometimes I meet childless post-menopausal women who will tell me, "Oh, I'm just an aunty" and I tell them that the love I have as an aunt is the same love I have as a mother. The strength of love isn't different, only the level of responsibility. My nieces are as precious to me as my own kids and I would move any mountain that is in my power to move in order to give them the best, healthiest, happiest life. I hope you know the joy of that someday - either with an older woman who loves and mentors you or with nieces and nephews of your own. 💞
OMG, Jessi using the word manipulative coming from Jodi’s mouth is uncanny because Ruby used the same words in regards to her youngest daughter.
I will NEVER EVER forgive my abuser!!! NEVER!! I have healed myself, I have overcome so much by validating myself and it was and will never be because I forgave him or anyone else that caused me trauma or pain.
I rid myself of ALL the toxic people in my life, including my parents and one sibling! They were never there when I needed them and now I don’t need them.
Jessi, YOU ARE AN AMAZING HUMAN! NEVER FORGET THAT!!
Sending love and light across the miles (from Australia 🇦🇺)
Continue your journey as the warrior you are!! 💪🏼🫶🏻🤍
Jessie, I am 40 years old. You have inspired me to follow up with the abuse perpetrated on me by a sexual predator and the abuse I experienced by a teacher. Both of these were properly reported to a principal, my parents, and the police, both of these were ignored and brushed under the rug. I suspect when I reach out about both the police and my old school, I will have people minimize them and people will wonder why I am doing this now. I am doing this to help and prevent other victims of abuse from being ignored. Minors are easy to overlook, and their credibility is often not enough. I appreciate you. I understand the draw of being a silent victim, but it will rot you out from the inside. It will rot the relationships around you. It allows abuse to be taboo and encourages abuse to repeat.
Much luck on your journey for justice
I’m so glad you’re speaking out!! I wish I could give you a big hug and support you somehow. My attacker is dead, so I can’t speak out. I feel for you though. I will pray for you and I’m sending you a big hug!
❤
“I’m not going to allow people into my life do not validate and see the harm they’ve caused. I’m not going to make myself small so that you don’t have to deal with the consequences of your actions” wow. As someone who is NC with my mother, this is powerful and inspiring to hear. I hope Jessi continues to heal, and grow from her trauma, she is a true inspiration.
NC?
@@missvegasablecorrect
I loved when she said this too - as someone else who is No Contact with my birth parents.
I like your comment but please don’t misgender them
Hi hi
The way they were so happy at the end when they realized how much love and support was being thrown their way actually made me cry 😭. Jessi, I wish a lifetime of unimaginable happiness and fulfillment for you, sending you ALL the love here from Brazil
Jessi, you’re telling such an important story in an amazingly articulate way. Your need for validation, to be heard, is absolutely human. You have no obligation to forgive those who won't accept your story and feelings. I wish you all the best in life, you have the power to use your experiences for good, actually you already do! /A warm hug from a Psychotherapist in Finland
Everyone needs to watch this. Jessie is so well-spoken and has a powerful story. I appreciate that the interviewer held back and let Jessie talk.
Very well spoken, and chill.
I agree! Especially the part about being bullied by a ‘best friend’ Sometimes our first bullies are *VERY* close to us - a teacher, a parent, a sibling, a friend . . .
Same here, I loved how they let her speak and not cut her off. John is so respectful
@@lizg833
First time listener. First time on this creators channel.
Agree with you, I plan on watching this at least one more time probably twice.
Anyway- yeah total respect for letting her tell her story at such an appropriate time.
Well done to original post as well.
Yes100 percent. This is TRUTH
As a child of abuse I’m 35 and I totally understand that feeling of being “bad” and everything being my fault. I still struggle with this immensely
I'm 32 and I still struggle with this daily. I've had almost 7 years of therapy too and it's just now seeming to get better.
We have to re learn everything. People get to leave home and start their lives and have that support and knowledge and someone to help but we don't get that and if you're like me I had no idea how to be an adult or take care of my home or even hold a job because of my mental problems and ptsd
It takes years to get over the trauma. I can only hope that anyone who has been a victim will find some peace. ❤
You guys are doing good work - congratulations be proud of yourself every step😊
If you’re open to therapy, make sure to ask your therapist if they’re trauma-informed and specialize in trauma specifically. It can make such a huge difference. ❤
Me too 💯
Can we just give a thumbs up to John!!!???? John thank-you so much for the work you do. It's invaluable. I wish we could know the number of lives you have changed/or have saved.
I have to say what an amazing interview. You are both incredible. Jessi you are on an amazing healing journey and I hope this interview is part of that. So much of what you both resonated with me. Jessi your honesty and vulnerability are beautiful.
Jessi’s story is so important, especially now that Ruby and Jodi are accusing one of the kids of molestation towards a bunch of other kids. We know now that Jodi falsely accuses people until they confess and then punishes them for it. It’s so disgusting and she will ruin more lives with her lies. Thank you for sharing your story, Jessi. You deserve justice.
Yes!! This is what I was thinking! What if Jodi manipulated this out of the child and made it to be something that it wasn't! Ugh the whole situation is horrible
"I would rather of been in jail than with Jodi"
That poor little boy ran to the neighbor and asked them to call police. When the neigbor asked him if there were other kids in danger at the house ghe said the others were okay and that what had happened to him was his fault...what if that poor boy wanted police because he thought he would be arrested and got to the point he preferred that over being with Jodi 😢😢😢
You’re probably right bc I’m sure Jodi and Ruby told him he would go to jail for the things he admitted to (falsely). Utterly heart breaking. A child would be susceptible to a false confession under the horrific strain of Jodi’s abuse. I was so angry when I read what Ruby said in the custody hearing but so happy when they were denied bail later.
I was so very glad to have seen this podcast before the news of those accusations came out. So ugly and it's her complete MO. Jodi is a horrible person.
@@CKT7009in ruby’s released diary she wrote that R (the son who escaped) said exactly that. He wanted to go to jail because he was so evil and wrong. When Jessie said something similar I was shook. Horrible abuse and manipulation to make someone feel that way. Multiple people
As a post mormon, I had such a closed view of queer people. Being gay was wrong, it was a choice, it was an abomination! I am so thankful to Mormon Stories for helping me to see the truth about queer people. It sickens me to think of the bigot that I was! Jessie is a beautiful, warm person! I felt a love and appreciation for her as I listened to her story! The old me probably wouldn't have even listened to her. Thank you so much, Mormon Stories for educating me, and helping me to be a more loving and accepting person!
Be proud of yourself; that you awakened to unconditional love ❤
Powerful testimony and bravery to admit that publicly. I’m proud of you if no one’s told you that lately.
Thank you for being willing to reflect on your prior thoughts (which every human needs to do to grow including me) it will make a difference to others ❤
Such a beautiful comment and so good that you are learning about queer people. In the interview, Jessi stated that they do not see themself as a women and would like to be referred to by they/them instead of she/her. Although the concept of not being either a women or a men might still be very new and conceptually strange, trying to use the right pronouns for people helps them feel accepted and understood. It is a small change that really helps people. You can see it as when someone is officially called Beatrice, but go by Bea. It is just respectful to not call them Beatrice, but Bea.
@@volkoren9897wow, it really sucks that she doesn't see herself as a woman but that's what she is 🤷
What a beautifully eloquent person! Thank you for gracing us all with this.
What a beautiful soul, so strong to come forward. Thank you for your story.
I was a client of Jodi. And like many, had a terrible experience and it took years to recover from the mental games and shame. I was able to get out of that situation and for a long time I felt like I was crazy. I feel so validated to hear that Jodi’s reign of abuse will come to an end. I hope she gets locked up for a long time. Knowing Jodi, Ruby was not a business partner, but rather a disciple of Jodi. Poor kids. Tell tale sign being the fact that Rubys husband was kicked out of the house. So sad.
sorry you dealt with that. ❤
But the mother had these weird thoughts BEFORE Jodi
@@kerrylewisRN I can't imagine that anyone following this (& knows about 8 passengers) is thinking Ruby was all fine until Jodi. It's clear she was on the same path as Jodi, but she's definitely under Jodi's control now, because Jodi doesn't have "equals". We all know she was starving & emotionally torturing her children well before because she proudly filmed it.
I don’t think she did. I saw a video in which Ruby was justifying their parenting because they were consulting with mental health specialists. Leaves me to believe she was seeking Jodi privately before they became business associates
Hugs & healing from NC, I truly hope you have found ACTUAL help in valid, secular therapy. Be blessed. ❤🩹💪🏼⚖🌹
Jessi, I’m so proud of you for surviving. John mentioned resilience and I noticed you were quick to point out that you weren’t okay afterwards, that you’d done a lot of work to get where you are. I don’t want to dismiss all the hard work you’ve done or the work you’ve yet to do. But I also don’t want to dismiss how remarkable it is that there was a you left to work on. She tried so hard to destroy you, and she utterly failed. You’re here, creating art for yourself and others, and now you’re helping to expose the evil inside her. I wish the brightest of futures for you: you deserve it.
^^^^ Yes! All of this!
Amen!!!! ❤
🎯💯❤🩹💪🏼🌹 #WeDOHeal #ISeeYouSurvivor
I agree!
What a strong human being! Sending positive vibes of healing and strength. Thank you for sharing your story
wow.... I resonate with so many things in this interview and am so grateful to have such an articulate reflection of the dynamic of emotional abuse. Our abusers are projecting their own shame but it's so hard to believe that when it's imprinted on you at a young age
When Jessi got emotional at the end with the Venmo donations, I just broke down crying. What an incredible individual they are. Thank you John and Jessi. ❤
I first broke down when John said he was sorry to her for all the abuse she'd experienced. He is a gem. ❤
John you really made difference
Jessi, you are not evil. You are not a manipulator. You are worthy of love, understanding and a voice. Your family abandoned you. Your aunt abused you horrendously. Your church let you down. You are a strong woman. Your story has made me cry for you and Jodi's other victims. I pray that you can see some justice. It should have come to you when you were 15. Jodi is the evil one.
❤❤❤
Jesse, I am so proud of you. You survived this tortuous experience, and instead of becoming hardened, you have become this beautiful bright light.
Towards the end of this interview, Jessi spoke about how recent ex-Mormons lack the moral compass that regular non-believers build up as young people. I recently had my records removed and I’m feeling that sense of not knowing what the new rules should be for myself. I’ll get there but I felt validated by them having noticed the same situation. This was a great episode. Thank you Jessi and John.
Jessi, as a trauma therapist, I validate validate validate you!!! I hope you don’t EVER “just get over yourself” because you are absolutely wonderful, deeply beautiful, deeply genuine and so so so undeserving of your abuse and invalidation!! If you haven’t been through very loving, very competent EMDR trauma healing, please do so, because you deserve healing so very much!!!💔❤️🩹
I truly think this is one of the most important MSP episodes of all time, not just because of Jessi’s experience re:Jodi, but because they did an amazing job drawing the lines from their abuse to Mormonism as a natural end of taking those beliefs literally. I stand in awe of the work they have done to still be here today and to share in their story with such insight & humanity.
Something I've learned recently is that the most kind and genuine people you meet have often been abused by religious people. It has made them the opposite of those monsters. Jessi is such a beautiful soul, I'm so sorry you had to go through so much 🖤
Yep. I have a friend like that.
When Jessie said their hair was cut off because it was too important. I gasped because in Rubies journal she said Es hair had to be cut off for the same reason. Just horrific!
That lady needs to be treated like she treated others! Holy cow!
This is one of the most powerful episodes I've ever watched. To have someone share such a heartbreaking personal account and to see the reaction of the listening audience and her immediate reaction of gratitude...this is beautiful. And she truly deserves the love.
Jessi uses they/them pronouns!
Agreed! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 Jessi is so amazing and insightful. Freaking smart and able to put into word so many things I’ve felt!
@@grapesodeypopwhat do you mean, they them
@@shable1436 THEY are non-binary, THEY said in this episode ( if you paid attention ) that they are and exclusively uses those pronouns.
This interview was absolutely profound. They have a beautiful, genuine soul. You can just feel it. Such an inspirational being, truly ❤
Absolutley. She needs to write a book (half her experience/ half about overcoming it later- and why people who have been abused don’t need to forgive, cutting people out, etc).
I am still speechless
@@MountainPearls the pronouns Jessi uses are they/them.
Was that not what she used?
This person is talking about MountainPearls using the pronoun "she."@@user-ob3vx7fl7m
JESSI! Love when u said u went no contact to self validate. You are brave and you will thrive!
Just beautiful - from both interviewer and interviewee...🔥... So much compassion and respect.
I am an active member of the church, but I needed Jessi's story. I can't put into words how freaking proud I am of them. They are so incredibly eloquent when speaking about such hard and painful things. I have been hurt by the church system and some of my leaders, I recently had to stop talking to my mom and grandmother. I've had a really hard year and have been trying to find peace, and Jessi's story and just words for survivors of abuse helped me to find some peace. I'm not crazy, the emotional abuse etc. Is REAL that I went through. Jessi, I don't know if you will ever see this, but thank you for being brave and standing up. You will never know how many people you will reach through this sacrifice of putting your story out there. And to John, thank you for using your platform to encourage and uplift survivors of abuse. I'm very impressed by this.
She will! Thank you for your comment too and I'm nor mormon!
@@notbornagainbornright5046 no problem! Thanks for reading it :)
@ wemadeyouasweaterlee... Whew, long name.. lol. I don't know you but
I wanted to tell you that the concise way that you got your story across without detail but recognizable at the same time got to me. I just want to wish you the best life has to offer for the next part of your journey. My wish for you is to find peace and contentment and to thoroughly enjoy the rest of your journey.
✌️&❤️
@@terireed3740 I can't tell you how much your sweet comment means to me, thank you so much. I wish you the best ♥
Do you believe you will be the god of your own planet one day?
And that Satan and Jesus were brothers?
Do you deny the diety of God.
Mormonism is not the truth.
Joseph’s Smith was a false prophet.
And changed the word of God.
You need to repent of this false Prophets teaching.
They do not align with the God of the Bible.
I am a Man… 58 of years… living in a whole other world than yours…. A part of the free world… A Scandinavian citizen…. Compared with so many other people… living in a really safe and highly social developed environment and society…. Our people are mostly highly educated and skilled… and normally… not living by any cult or religious doctrine… You can probably say that most of us are atheists and we live our lives after our own beliefs… And still this testimony from this young lady… Jessi… hits me so hard that’s it’s unbelievable…. Not only because it’s such a horrible story she was experiencing… but also because… I really could feel her suffering and all she went through… And I realize… that my own life probably wasn’t that different… a lot of abuse from my parents and family… and also from schoolteachers and classmates… I was really being bullied and abused by my surroundings… and that made me so sad and angry… so I became this rebellious person witch I’m still are… Thank you Jessi for telling your story… it helped me to understand some of my own feelings and why I’m still in a age of nearly 60 years struggle… ♥️
Overseas Greetings
Possibly the most profound and moving story I’ve heard on Mormon Stories. Jessi, thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing. You should be beyond proud of the very difficult work you’ve put into healing and moving forward. You deserve only the best that life has to offer and I hope you know how brave and amazing you are. I see you, I hear you, and I believe you.
I agree. This is the best Mormon Stories I've ever seen. What an amazing, adorable, intelligent, well spoken person Jessi is.
I worked for a psychologist for 12 years... I am so glad that Jodi and her false teachings has been exposed so that no one else gets sucked in to her "godly" advice. God bless you honey.
Jessi …. You are such an amazing example of a leader and strength. I grew up with Jodi as a teen because she was in my ward. I was in disbelief and shock as I watched the news unfold. I left the church after the age of 18 when I was allowed. I am so inspired by your strength and tenacity to do this podcast! You’re absolutely what so many people need. I wish you all the love and happiness that this world could ever give you!❤
The betrayal of your family is beyond cruel. They sound toxic and you are better off without them.
I am horrified to think of how many families allowed Jodi to harm their children
Jessi, I would be so proud to have a daughter like you to call me Mum every day.
Omg, I don’t know why that hadn’t occurred to me that she did this to many children. 😢 Of course she must have. I pray they come forward and sue. And I pray that Ruby’s other children come forward and sue her (and Kevin) someday.
Try the church its much worse
i’m finding alarming similarities between this story and things that have happened in my life with my narcissistic sister. not the torture, but the aftermath of being told you need to forgive and just move on and not upset other people and the whole family sweeping it under the rug and saying “it must be so tiring to be so miserable and angry” despite complete agony that i’ve gone through. wow this sucks a lot. i feel like if i showed this to anyone i’d be told “stop being a victim and using a real person’s real struggles to try to justify your story”
They consider their discomfort in hearing it (and then having to decide what to do with this bad information) is more important than the violence you went through. To silence you it is also a form of aggression.
If they know, they will have to act to do something about it OR be judge for not doing anything and failing you via omission. That is why they try to manipulate you into believing that if you speak out, you become an abuser and now they are your victim - which is as absurd as it sounds.
Long story short: they are cowards and selfish.
I hope you can separate their posture from the reality of the facts and stay away from the one that harmed you. To forgive doesn’t mean to hang together as if nothing happened or not seek the justice system if you were victim of a crime. Forgiveness it is an internal act to benefit the victim and not to add an extra burden of violence or to expose the you to be victimised by your perpetrator again m.
Thank you Jessie! What an amazing human. Excellent interviewing, thank you for letting them speak. New sub!
One of your best and most important interviews yet, John. Jessi - your voice is HEARD! We BELIEVE YOU!!! Keep talking. There are safe spaces in this community. Many supporters. You can help make change. Other ex cult members have said writing a book sharing their stories helped end the nightmares and be a catalyst for catharsis
I agree ! I subscribed
When Jessi discussed their mom showing up to have senior pictures made after she denied her child's access to education was absolutely mind-blowing to me.
I think that’s what shoked me the most. This request from the mother meant: I don’t care what you’re going through. I need to look good in front of the neighbors. Simply disgusting! 🤢🤢🤢
@@calussier1 yup, it's shocking on its face, but in the culture we're talking about it makes perfect sense. These groups place extremely high value on appearances. A podcaster recently refered to it as "the Mormon glaze" and I found it kind of brilliant... All these shiny, happy photos. Bright white temple in the background of a bright white family. All blonde hair and big white teeth. If mom gets the nice glazed "senior" portraits to send out to the family and church, if everything LOOKS okay, if the community thinks you have the perfect family, then everything IS okay.
It reminded me of my mother.
Everything was always about keeping up appearances.
When I was 14 my dad decided to go for custody of me, but at the suggestion of his lawyer we had to be a little sneaky and when I went to stay with him for a couple weeks in the summer, they had her served with the papers.
I was dreading the first phone call after she got served because I was sure that the first thing she would say is “why?” Or “don’t you love me anymore?”
Because I did love her and I didn’t know how to put in to words that the way she treats me makes me want to unalive myself. (I hadn’t yet accepted that she was abusive)
Anyway, the moment comes and the first thing she says is “How could you do this to me, Annie?! How am I going to explain to the neighbors that my _daughter_ wants to live with her _father_ ?! They’re going to think something’s wrong with me! Like I’m a bad mom or something!”
I was so furious that I hung up on her.
It was the first time I realized that my mother probably didn’t love me the same way I loved her.
That her primary concern in all things was appearances.
Growing up Mormon-in Utah- this doesn’t really surprise me at all 🥴🥴🥴
Annie, does your mom have borderline personality disorder or covert narcissism?
Whew, I hung onto every word. You are incredible, Jessi!
Thank you.🇨🇦
This interviewer is such a good man, you can tell. Always consistent, empathetic, intentional, thoughtful, and respectful. Bringing a POWERFUL message and giving voices to so many ppl, and inspiring hope in countless more 🫡
This poor soul has been through so much trauma, my heart is broken. I cannot even imagine being abused, running away and getting to the police, and they don’t believe you and return you to your abuser. I am so sorry Jessi.
My abusive parents were also completely focused on “my need to forgive” and how “the forgiveness wasn’t for them it was for me” because they were convinced that my lack of forgiveness was destroying the family. I even yelled at them “why are you talking about my forgiveness when you should be concerned about your REPENTANCE!?!?” I am no contact with them all now.
Thank you so much for talking about that. I’ve never heard anyone else mention that aspect of contempt for victims humanity, hurt, and need for time to heal.
My dad was very abusive , my mom took so much of the blame and everything else for us . Ever since I was little I always thought that my mom could have done better with a different man but then she passed and my dad just went ballistic on it everything I am in the same boat, my father asked keep him informed about my upcoming surgery. I texted him with the date of my surgery he texted me two days later to say that he would call me in the morning that call never came so I know what his priorities are I was really close to my mother but she passed and my dad found this woman I don't like at all she keeps all our conversations I have spent no time with my father and when he did he yelled at me, I turned around and I said, yes I'm your daughter but I'm 62 years old I don't think I deserve be yelled at went into the room I was staying in packed my s*** and left he said he would take me to the airport and I said you know what I will take a cab
This was such an amazing, thought provoking conversation, thank you for being willing to share
The fact that anyone could do that to their children is insane and infuriating