The ANXIOUS & AVOIDANT relationship dynamic
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- čas přidán 3. 07. 2024
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29 years old guy here: I've stumbled on your channel 2 weeks ago and feel like I've already learned so much from you. You telling (in another video) about how you used to be anxiously attached and have gotten better now, gives me hope, that I can do, too. You're basically like a big sister I wish I had in my life to seek advice from. :)
Wow, thanks!
Same here ❤
Can you give me the video link you watched before?
@@ANU-pz5bx czcams.com/video/TDGj1nAt_N8/video.html Especially 16:05 of that video was such a nice thought
@@ANU-pz5bx I guess the video is pinned on top of her channel :)
Even if you’re secure, someone’s avoidance can draw you into an anxious state.
Hi, my girlfriend is anxiously attached, I've recently figured myself out that I may be avoidant and I want to change for the sake of her, myself and our relationship. Watching this video really helped me understand her more and it gives me more hope that we can work out.
A big thank you from all of us anxious people for actually wanting to change. She is a lucky girl.
So cute ❤
I recently discovered I have an anxious attachment style and I am addressing this issue now in therapy. Current long distance (avoidant) boyfriend started to behave exactly like my ex (also LDR) did. At first I thought, omg, I have a type. Then I realized that two completely different guys cannot be the problem, it must be something I do and then men react in a specific way. You know what they say, if you go somewhere and it smells like s**t, leave. But if it smells like s**t everywhere you go - check your shoe. Your videos helped me to realize and address that.
I feel your LDR-with-an-avoidant pain. I’ve thought similarly that I was attracted to a type. I think I may be that in addition to being an anxious type myself. The LDR thing virtually insures an avoidant type relationship even if only because of the physical distance.
My “gf” once asked what my love language was. I hadn’t heard of the concept so I googled it and took the short online quiz. She said she was “quality” time and I turned out to be touch. Phone and text seem to satisfy her needs but, mostly due to distance, my touch needs seldom get met. This results in not feeling very positive or very satisfied…and with the lack of direction our relationship “thing” seems to be going. I’m left in a constant state of anxiety. I become my own worst enemy at that point.
More recently I see myself and this situation a little differently as my sister turned me on to attachment styles and then I discovered No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover. The title is not what I though it was. It’s eye-opening for me.
Anywho, I’m so grateful for the videos on this channel. They give me hope that I can change and change my behavior with others.
@@robbielauderdale4143 I really appreciate that you commented this. I’m currently in a LDR with an avoidant. I myself am anxiously attached. More than ever because of her distant nature. My love language is quality time so texts and calls “do it” for me. Hers is physical touch. All I can think of recently is that she isn’t happy or will become unhappy because her love language isn’t being met. I know the days she’s busy and barley texts it’s because of work.
For some reason in the past- she could go days with barely talking to me and Is some how surprised that it’s upsets me.
👀 😂 *Those two lines beFoRe the lasT line is hiLaRiouS wiTTy goLd.!* 🔑 💎
@@accuratepredictions26exactly!
I had a secure attachment but during my marriage I found myself becoming anxious due to my husband being avoidance. I’ve just realised this and I feel so helpless
Same.
Thank you so much Margarita. I never thought I was anxiously attached until I’ve started living with my husband who is extremely avoidant. His distance and coldness which I didn’t see when we were dating (and not sharing a flat) because we saw each other once a week and he was very engaged. Once we shared a space. Boom! The lack of attention and care sent me through a massive spiral. I’ve been starved emotionally and sexually. Now we have two small kids and I often feel like we’re more of coworkers than a couple. I hate it.
as cruel as it may sound, but I'm so grateful to you for sharing your experience about your marriage with avoidant. It's reassuring for me to see what my life could turn into if we would'n break up with my dismissive avoidant partner with who we lived together, therefore I already could see his tendency of lacking effort and intimacy, but I used to reassure myself that this is something temporary and we can work on this. I guess I dodged the bullet...:)
Why do find ourselves with an Avoidant? They are wonderful in the beginning and no red flags. You think its safe and you attach and then the richter scale is a 10 by their suddent shift.
I couldn’t relate to this more
I’m stuck in this now. It’s really a struggle. It’s not my first rodeo either I somehow usually always end up in this dynamic. It’s challenging and idk if we can make it. I think avoidants can at times have beautiful traits but their distancing and self sabotaging behaviors really destroy the good times. It’s really sad truthfully. I’ve come a long way with managing my anxiety on my own but they tend to push your limits where you just shut down and want to leave as you become more secure. There’s only so much someone can take. It’s about 2 people
Find a secure partner. Avoidants, if they are working on this, are okay too but still it's hard.
I have an anxious attachment, and you're the first one who has actually told me how to start changing this within myself. Thank you so much! My girlfriend is an avoidant, go figure. I love her to death and am going to work hard to change myself.
You have no idea how much you have helped me through this month! I have binged watched a lot of your videos and they have really inspired me to take a look at myself. I can see my anxious attachment so clearly now…I’ve literally cringed when I think of my past behavior. Thank you for showing me that there is hope ❤
Well said! Exactly the same for me. I feel like my behavior is changing towards my avoidant partner to a more secure place just by recognizing when I'm being anxiously attached. It's not even a truly conscious thing sometimes. Knowledge truly is power. Thank you, Margarita!
So insightful!!!
Ditto!
Same here! Have binge watch all her videos this past month
Totally relate to this comment! Same here
I healed my codependency by being single for two years. The truth is there is work to be done in relationships and work to be done while single. There are certain things you can't heal if you're always in a relationship.
How did you do it, I ended a situation with a girl who was avoidant and I know that I’m too needy, clingy, and over depend on them for my happiness
@@therandomdude7347learn about CTPSD and codependency. Tim Fletcher and Lisa Romano have the best videos on the topic. you can get therapy or join their coaching programs. Listen to those self love meditations (I do that a lot)
how have you healed? what have you been doing in those two years?
My life moves with grace.
I use my intuition wisely.
I see connections and the deeper truths.
All that I need is within me.
I dwell in the state of presence.
I am a timeless, eternal being,
connected to the wisdom of the Universe.
I see challenges in my life with great clarity.
I learn from the challenges in my life,
they are spiritual lessons.
I love and accept myself.
I open myself to insights and clarity.
I absolutely agree. I realized just recently that my last relationship made me gradually heal from my anxious attachment style. I went from shaking during arguments due to the fear of being abandoned, and the partner getting tired of me, to standing up for myself and realizing that this relationship was not something that I wanted. Maybe I was scared of being lonely. So, at the end, I broke up with them. This was unthinkable for my past self, since I always thought that I needed that person by my side. It took me some time, but I noticed that as months went by, the arguments were getting more and more intense because I would not put up with their behaviour... then, I reached my limit. The fear of abandonment was replaced by a question, which was "is this how a relationship should be? am i better off alone?"
Bravo👏🏻 the first step to start for this who are anxious attached: its to be alone. An anxious attached personn can’t live or be alone. Impossible. U have to push yourself alone by being alone first. Single during 1 year or more. If aleeady in relation but things are not going well, u need to broke then heal by being alone. Learn to be with yourself alone living alone go iut alone Watch Tv alone go for drink alone. The first tree month will be very very hard… u can ofc meet Friends but dont put them to not feel alone. You hace to be in your room, in your bed in you house alone, step by step this loneliness u will appreciate it, and then wgen you will be mire comfirtable with this loneliness by reading a book alone, Cook alone , you will like it so much then thé n’est avoidant or drama in your Life! Then it be like a big warning a bis red flag! Bcz you use to be peacefull minded with your lonliness first then . Being secure its thé capacity to stay with yourself without being annotons scary abt you ownself
After a few years of dating my ex, while running my own business, doing my own renovations and having the anxious avoidant constantly having issues I was supposed to support while flip flopping in and out, I had enough. The last and final time he asked for space, again, during one of the few times I needed a hand, as usual, I left him to have all the space in the world. I dont need flaky people around accusing me of being anxious when Im more then confident in myself. Why should I be a good supportive friend when there is no equal give and take. If thats being needy or controlling in his mind, well cool beans then. Ah peace and quiet. Drama free 2023.
I agree.. we go in these relationships in a good space although we may have anxiety about other things or may have heal from an anxious attachment prior to meeting them. These avoidant people activate anxiety x10 in people and then call us crazy for reacting while they go on about their day. Mines don’t ask for space he just disappears and comes back like nothings happened and expects me to spoil him like he didn’t just scramble my mind a moment ago. It is very draining and getting old now that I stop for a moment and looked at his patterns
@@luludouglas6647so true! Before I got married I wasn’t the anxious type, avoidant ex husband made me so by his inconsistent behavior, I developed anxiety disorder, started taking pills and was no longer anxious, my love was just destroyed by him, but I still felt a steady connection like a secure type, but disappointed and numb, in the end he left me after his therapy with his psychologist saying that he had worked his childhood mother issues with me ( a year before he injured my arm severely). So why should we steady sensitive people be blamed for getting anxious when some SOB starts behaving like a jerk!!? Victim blaming, as it is
You attach to people who are healthy for you. You avoid narcissistic bullies and those who manipulate you to their own ends. Keep your barriers high and totally ignore people who do not care one iota about you, never have cared about you and never ever will.
I'm an avoidant attacher and I partially disagree Margarita. For me it's more of a feeling of being "in-adequate" myself a lot of times. Insecurities. Feeling like I'm "too much" for ppl. Or annoying. Or not perfect enough, because I was striving to be perfect myself in childhood, since I didn't get the attention and love I wanted. Also never asked for it! Found ways of fulfilling my needs myself. But not because we prefer doing so!! But because asking for smth is perceived as burdening someone. And I never wanna "burden" someone. That's how an avoidant operates mainly from my perspective and not because I don't want someone close to me. quiet the opposite. the cravings are at times so strong and yet the distorted ego self is coming up with these BS reasons why I'm not loveable enough. Though I know it's a damn lie in my head!!
It could also come from a place of getting hurt. Most men hate being emotionally hurt. Women deal with emotional hurt faster and better. Men seem to struggle with it, specially the avoidant ones...
@@deepdiver849 oh most definitely yes! Of course who likes to be hurt right?!.! I stopped counting how often I got hurt and betrayed. And a big thing around that is our self concept. It never ceases to amaze me how much there is to learn about our psychology. Our operating realities. Quantum physics and techniques! In this scenario I found the most helpful to know HOW I am creating a different outcome or change my attachment style. And the answers seem to be always the same, though expressed in different words. You basically gotta get familiar with the EMBODIMENT of the desired “state”. Yes I am acknowledging tending to express a certain attachment style. But I’m not going to DEFINE myself by it! And simply practice and AM the new version of my lovely Self, which is that of an open, trustworthy, loving and caring SECURE ATTACHER. It is so and so it is 🤗🧡
I would have thought from your description you are fearful-avoidant. But yes I totally hear you ❤
I can relate 100%! Spot on. Thanks for expressing how I feel.
This is more like me as well. I felt flawed and had several ways to attempt to compensate. I certainly avoidant style sabotaged relationships. Self-reliance is compulsive, and co-regulation has to be learned.
This is the most succinct video on anxious and avoidant relating I’ve seen in my hundreds of hours of CZcams watching.
Have you watched Thais Gibson with the Personal Development School CZcams channel?
@@suras8984I have, and I love her too especially because she’s a recovered FA and my partner is FA. But this video in particular really tells it like it is for both me and my significant other. Have you watched Alan Robarge? He is a psychotherapy genius, I highly recommend him if you’re on this journey!
My husband is the anxious attached one. I'm the avoidant one. I feel suffocated most of the time. He calls me 100 times a day and tells me he loves me every second he gets. If I ask for space he suddenly becomes sick. It started very early in our relationship and friends always said to me I'm lucky to have a guy who adores me that much. They made me feel like I was ungrateful for not wanting him by my side every second of everyday. But now I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
I'm so sorry to hear. I have anxious attachement and my gf is avoidant. From my experience I can say that he becomes sick when you ask him for space because he is so afraid to lose you. Not becouse he does not trust you but because he does not trust himself, that he is worthy of you, so he is seeking validation from you.
Try to tell him that "if you give me more space I will call you back" or just do something first. I know it is hard to do when he suffocates you with his attention so much. But your 1 call to him will replace 10 calls that he does to you. If you tell him you love him first, he won't repeat it so much. If you call him for a walk, he won't need a new one so soon. And after that ask for more space. You also can just say straight: "I love you, I`m not going to leave you, I don`t look for anyone else. But I need more time for myself. It does not mean I love you less, I just do it different, because people are different". At least I repeat it to myself in my relationship and I'm trying to not push my gf so much. She already left me once 2 years ago and now we are back together and I'm trying to change my loving style instead of trying to change her. I still often think "she doesn't love me." but then I can think "would she came back to me if she hadn't? Whould she text me, call me for a walk then? It is just her love style and I'm worring because it is mine. There is actually nothing to worry about!". You should get it to your husband somehow. Wish you luck!
Yea you’re not wrong in feeling that way. That’s way way too much and you can’t be responsible for someone either. That sounds pretty codependent.
@@blackjack8480 yea it’s hard I was more anxious most of my life but am realizing how toxic some of that behavior was and being with someone more avoidant is actually really helping me see my side and work on this stuff alone and funny enough he’s coming closer and we are happier. It’s about breaking the cycle. Takes one to start to shift the dynamic and pattern of behavior. I’m finding self soothing and not reacting and changing my negative beliefs about people I date is really helping. It’s true most of the time it’s not about you and if you start to change that assumption you’ll see it’s not and feel happy you don’t react and funny enough you start to get the other person to feel safer and happier around you too breaking that dynamic
@@blackjack8480 Thanks for sharing this story. Can I ask, how is the relationship going now that time has passed and you both (I assume) understand each other's attachment styles? Is it a lot better than it was before?
@@natebot321 I still don't feel completely comfortable alone. But after all that time we were separate we both did't have other partners and now we realised that we are the most comfortable together. I still have anxious thoughs like "she doesn't text me because she doesn't love me" but then I think if that was true she would never come back, but she did! She is just busy most of the time so I try to concentrate on my own things. I think I just behave as I would behave without her. And I am happy when she finally writes and we go for a walk. I want to give her all the time and effort I have but now I know that this is not what she needs because her life style is different. I do not wait my kind of love from her anymore. I lowered my expectations from any relationships in general. We also talk about our feelings more. She promised immediately tell me if there is something wrong. And she does sometimes. I can't say I am completely satisfied, I still would like to do more things with her more often, but I am much happier now than before!
Avoidants put themselves and anxious types put others on a pedestal.
Which is why they naturally pair up.
I don’t think most avoidant people put themselfs on a pedastal.
@@mariahgraham8366 They blame and put others below them. And I've witnessed it.
@@jaredvaughan1665 yes that’s a known thing. Most attachment literature says avoidants think higher of self than others while anxious thing higher of others than self
@@jaredvaughan1665 that’s generalizing an entire group. The way they project might come across as they blame others. But avoidant still a insecure attachment. They have things to work on just as much as someone anxious attachment.
I got the book Attached on your recommendation and let me tell you - it is blowing my mind and I know it will change my life. I didn’t realize I was avoidant!!!! With a dash of anxious, so technically disorganized attachment.
Same.
Whose the author? Please share details.
@@TommyLika “attached” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Same, I just finished the book a couple weeks ago. It really has changed my perspective as well. In my current relationship I am quite anxious, but in the past have been avoidant. so I am also disorganized. Cheers to being more secure! I am now onto Adults of Emotionally Immature Parents on her book list.
acknowledgement is the first step in healing 💞
I am an anxious attachment style in a relationship with a dissmissive avoidant. I know i am not healed in any way.... But being told that "it has nothing to do with you" hit me like a ton of bricks.
I am giving my DA partner a chance to work on things with these new insights. But after being dumped twice over text message, I have been so incredibly messed up and desperate to keep him.
After hearing this video, I went from severe anxiety to being 100% ok with him walking out of my life if he wants to.
I know there is still a long way to go... But this video really made me self aware.
Would love to see a video on dealing with anxiety when you break up with someone you love because you feel neglected in the relationship ❤️ thank you so much for your amazing work and message
Ouff me too
Can you please please do a video on how to forgive yourself and healing and letting go AFTER losing an important relationship due to having anxious attachment style (and you didn’t know you had it until it was too late). Love your videos ❤
100% me. I feel the same way. I had no idea that I have anxious attachment style.. and lost a person that I really liked.
Same here
Same hete
Same here
Ty, I'm in an 17 year relationship and 13 years married of it. This is my husband and I. We're both working on this and it's been an amazing journey. ❤
you give me hope… everyone else here says it‘s the worst struggle
Me anxiously attached and my parents being completely avoidant towards me and others really ruined me but am trying to become securely attached now, the book "Attached" and your videos have been really helpful in this journey ❤
Thank you! That was valuable content 💕. I was told by both a Social Worker & Spiritual Guru, to become Secure Attachment Style...write a list of all the qualities & traits you'd want in a significant other & then become that person. I have been working on my list for about 2 years now 😊.
It's been slow & steady, as I've had alot of trauma to work through, but I've noticed a huge difference in myself & I'm loving the new me 💕
That’s a great way to think about it - and what to do !
I’m onto it ❤
this hits home, thank you
youre saving my life rn
Margarita! I just discovered you a couple weeks back and I feel sooo blessed to have found you! All of the topics you talk about have been what I've been dealing with in my marriage (my husband is the avoidant one) . . . I've realized I've been pushing for too long and swimming against the current, when becoming secure solves basically everything.
Would adore more videos on being in feminine energy, cause that has been rocking my world, as well!
Thank you SO much for your work!
Thank you for your directness and strength. So appreciate ❤ Good luck on your pod cast launch! 🎉
Thankful that I have discovered and subscribed to your channel. You break it down and give such honest examples.
Thank you!!!
I am so happy I found you!
Watching this again. Thank you so much ! Your videos had helped me so so so much you have no idea!
Best explanation of this dynamic I’ve ever heard. Thank you for this ❤
You are the best at this!!!!
I really love and appreciate the vulnerability and authenticity of your videos. Working on yourself is not always easy and is very humbling. Love your courage!
Thank you so much!
I paid for a question still no response it’s a week now
@@AyanAli-sy2vq How much u pay?
so glad i found your channel
You have explained "hope" for me. Thank you.
Hearing you giving advice like this helps so much. Thank you for all you do
The wakeup call I needed. thank you
Their need for space has nothing to do with you.
Whew! That sent off a light bulb as I've been having an anxious moment. I didn't act upon it. I was happy to see this new video, tho 😅 Thank you! ❤💥🙏🏽💪🏽✨️
So interesting! Loved listening to you ❤️
Thank you for taking us all under your wing. We need your wisdom.❤
Thank you!! So incredibly eye opening and will be so so helpful in my relationship ❤
Your content has helped me so much ! Thank you beautiful
The information you’re sharing is invaluable. Thank you, you’re saving relationships.
I love your videos, you are so articulate. Thank you! It helped me at my lowest!
You are absolutely incredible. These videos are modern wisdom. Thank you M ❤
Love your videos. You give so much value and crystallised perspective, I’m constantly mind blown how you break down these dynamics❤❤❤
This is such a great vid 🙏
Your videos really help me. Thank you.
Love your shirt!
Up the Irons!
Thank you so much for your videos 🙏🏾
Thank you for teaching us.I have subscribed to your podcast and I can’t wait for you to upload on there
Your message is powerful and relevant. Please keep doing what you're doing.
It’s like you can see my past relationships. This gave me chills!! You are AMAZING! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You’re a bloody genius. Your word choice hits me right where I need it. Thanks for making this stuff easily accessible.
I’ve drastically improved my disorganized/anxious leaning attachment style towards to far more secure. It’s possible 💕
Good to hear that ❤
Could you please give some ideas which helped you
@@anumsehar3589 shadow work and working through triggers as they come up. not enabling yourself further when you're triggered (not reaching out to avoiddant when triggered. self soothing when triggered. putting the phone down. activley looking for ways to self-sooth in moments of distress.) basically - noticing when you're triggered and observing yourself - reacting slowly and remembering that what others do is not in your control, so you might as well release the energetic responsibility of it youve created- because you'll never actually have it.
Needed to hear this. All your videos. Thx
Thank you for saying this.
i love your videos, there straight up to the point with no big introduction or long talk arround the bush🤝🏽 ive already learned so much and youve calmed me down so much already with just 3videos, keep the great work up♥️
I ❤❤❤ your videos especially relationships involving DAs. So glad I found you! You break things down so it's easier to relate to / understand attachment differences.
this lady is a GENIUS. like what!
Great stuff. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it!
LOVE THIS and would looooooooove more content on healing from anxious and thriving with an avoidant!
I appreciate your videos on these topics, I’ve listened to others, I’ve read several books on the topic (some you’ve suggested already) but I truly like the way you explain and break it down the best and just wanted to let you know that! ❤
This was such a great video
you are absolutely outstanding!!! You just make sooo much sense! Loveee your content and the way you express! By far the besttt videos on this topic!😍😍😍
Ive needed something for so long, this video is what I've needed, your channel is what I've needed - brought tears to my eyes, thank you.
The timing of this is unbelievable. Meeting the guy I’m in a situationship with tonight, he gives me such mixed signals, classic case of anxious-avoidant dynamics. I feel like I can show up to him tonight without letting my anxiousness strangle him but as a secure adult with wants, boundaries and self-respect instead. Thanks so much Margarita ❤
@asu ah this makes me day, thanks! He rescheduled to tomorrow 😅 to be continued..
Can you update us on this? Did it work out?
@@Softheartedrose I saw him this week, and he acted all normal, no mixed signals (it were his text messages which came across avoidant) so I decided to not start any discussion, to just enjoy the moment. I guess this video helped me realize how to better deal with my anxiousness and not make him obliged to take it away. As my situationship with him progresses, I’ll gradually seek more closeness, but I can do that with confidence now not out of neediness.
OMG I've been already in a group with one such guy. The thing is I'm too afraid to even admit that in front of him that I have a crush on him. And he gives me mixed signals too 😭
This is exactly how I feel! Thank you so so much! I’m an anxious just split from an avoidant! Wow 😮xxx
This is an excellent perspective about the relationship between an anxious and an avoidant person! Indeed I find that when I am in that relationship dynamic my awareness of the issues I have sharpens!
Thank you is the only thing i could say to you. Thanks for helping me in this healing stage. Everything you said just hit right on the spot, you are absolutely talented! Thanks for cheering me up cheers!!
You are like no other. You taught me a LOT in a very short amount of time!! I LOVE your videos and the way you represent yourself. LOVE the straight to the point videos.
Beautiful unpacking of DAs. Very positive feedback for DAs you get it
This is great advice for me because I’m both anxious and avoidant:)
Very helpful and knowlegable!
The universe speaks through you!!
Your videos are always amazing! Great work!!
I've recently discovered your channel and you OPENED MY EYES. What a relieve to finally get an explanation for literally everything that happened and is still going on in my life. Just like you, I was an anxious attached person in my masculin energy, doing everything to make my previous relationship work. I was an emotional people-pleaser trying to control everything and justifying myself to everyone. After 5 years he did something terrible, and that was the only way I could have ever ended that unhealthy relationship. I am very grateful for that, because otherwise I would have died young and unhappy. Two weeks after that I met my current partner and I'm sure he is my forever man. He's aware that he's an avoidant and has already done some serious self-work. But it's a never ending growing journey and we both have a backpack full of difficult experiences. We've already had a lot of difficult discussions over the year, but I've been working hard on self-regulating and effectively communicating my needs. Recently I felt stuck in my healing journey and your insights are the last puzzle pieces I need to move forward, take ownership over my life and become more free & happy. Looking forward to your podcast & more videos! Thank you endlessly, love from Belgium xxx
This is by far the most usefull, Helpfull Video onYT I have ever watched. Im playing it over and over and this has definitley helped sooth me and give me some food for thought
Videos like these really make me believe in hope for humanity, it was so well done, clearly spoken and right to the point. Great job and valuable information, I also loved the authenticity in your energy from this video, I could’ve listen to you a lot longer. Than 19+. As a healing an Avoidant, I can identify with so many points, but to be on my way to secure, I’ve also realized I also don’t show those negatives natures as much. Growth feels like I’m granted an opportunity for extra breath
Bravo! This is awesome. Even after I’ve learnt a lot and still learning, your so honest and real lecture helped me grow stronger with more clarity. Love
CZcams was recommending me your videos since few weeks and finally this week I decided to click on one of your video. Along with this one I feel like a big sister is having a chat with me on life lessons which I needed desperately! I have been on the anxious side in the past now thinking to get one of your recommended book "Attached" to dive deep into it.
Wow. Found your videos and absolutely love them
Subscribed to your podcast, so excited to keep learning and growing with you! ❤
Welcome aboard!
Your podcasts and videos are helping me so much. So thankyou so so much for what you do. You are the one person i can listen too. I find it hard to keep ny attention on one thing for a long time but your advice has me captivated. Keep being you you amazing woman ❤
Wow! I a have a fear of abandonment and it really kicked in. I got to see myself from a helicopter view through your words and it scared me to see myself from up there. "It has to be about me" and such things. An eye opener for me. Thank you so much for this. I did not know it, but now I do and I can work on it ❤
Thank you so much for making these videos! I found you looking at videos trying to heal anxious attachment. I am really going through it working on healing my attachment style. I have sabotaged so many relationships because of this. I am so thankful for my current partner who is so patient and loving and helps me talk these things through. “You can make a secure person avoidant” that hit so hard! Thank you!! 🙏🏽
This video has helped me so much, you're so correct. Learning the differences between the two styles and learning to know when it's a them thing or a me thing, is really good advice. Thank you for this, it was meant to be me seeing this today.
thank u. I really need this video.
Truly want to say thank you for your videos. They’ve been a tremendous help for me me wife and I’s dynamic so far in the beginning of understanding. As an anxious attachment myself, I never understood why I felt the way I did and stopped fulfilling my dreams everytime I was in a relationship but because of your videos, things have already started to look up! I can’t thank you enough! I’m looking forward to being fully secure within myself 💪🏾🔥❤️
I feel like I'm at church and this is divine revelation!!!!! Gosh, this is good!
9:49 😮😮😮 wow this is powerful!! Thank you, I am healing so much from your talks. I’ve read so many books on this, I’m 35 yrs old…but it never clicked until now, the details you share about your own experiences are SO HELPFUL. I cannot express enough gratitude ❤ 🙏🏼
I think this is my favorite video of yours, I’ve referenced back to this video several times. I love how you speak directly to both the anxious attachment & the avoidant. It helps both sides understand each other, in my opinion anyway.
I started watching your videos every morning before going to work while i do my makeup on my ipad and its been such a good dose of good talk ❤️
I've come across your videos yesterday and I can truly say that your videos are the best thing that has happened to me. Cause now I understand myself and my boyfriend even better. Cause it like you said we definitely have this relationship. And now I understand why he always checks out when I try to explain why I'm hurt. So many thanks
I love this so much ❤
I have been following you since the first of this year then I stopped bec I met someone and everything’s going good until it’s not… I came back to your TikTok and feel so empowered again. I’ve talked about you on women groups in FB and have developed some virtual friendships and they all thanked me. They have been watching you too and it has helped them get thru relationships. I like your accent bec my sister lives in Aus but I know your British. But anyway, thanks for everything that you do for the public. Love from Chicago❤❤❤
Was with an anxious. Literally felt like I was being suffocated. OMG. Had no idea what was going on. Dated occasionally. Lasted a month. Decided we were a couple after day 2
You are an amazing lady! Thank you for your advice! Listening to you makes me think logically instead of emotionally. I am trying to work through my anxious attachment. I gotta master the “Let them” theory.