You Can’t Change Them - Man or Beast
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- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- One of the biggest mistakes we make in life, whether it is working with our horse, or working with people with whom we are in relationships, is getting the idea that we can change them. neither your spouse or your horse will change unless they choose to change.
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I forgot! The cigar is a Partagas Black Label 6x60
Smoking the exact same stick right now!
Truly appreciate your thoughts & perspective.
Thank you
Happy birthday
Happy Birthday Dewayne! I always appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Thank you!
Love your cigar suggestions
The only person you can change is yourself, and only if you want to.
That's not entirely true. If you make someone angry, you've changed them. 😂
@@n4ughty_knight big difference between a temporary state, and the core personality
The only thing I would change about myself? To stay away from Evil people! And enjoy life
God changes us, not us.
That's hilarious 😃
"If you want something to change, you have to accept it" - Alan Watts
Turning up the heat by screaming and hollering at a spouse will only build resistance and resentment. Sadly, many young people grow up thinking that is a potential solution simply from watching mom and dad.
Absolutely, don't repeat the cycle.
Walk away
@@davidcoffman4202👌
Yeah, I really don't want to be like that. Pray for me and my fellow brothers who will walk the same Path.
Soft beats strong.
Works with people, animals and even politics
The only thing we control in life is our reaction to things that happen. Best life advice I have ever received.
We have to respond, not react
Happy Birthday Dewayne! ❤❤
Wise advice. I think I was in my mid 40's when I figured out I can't change anyone else. The best I can hope for is to change myself, and even that is hard.
In line with Dewayne's perspective, I want to emphasize the importance of embracing and accepting genuine efforts towards change. What I mean to say is that it's crucial to let go of past behaviors. Whether individuals have completely transformed or are making progressive strides, acknowledging their journey is vital. Dwelling on past actions serves no purpose; instead, it's essential to release them. Bringing up past behaviors only hinders growth. Statements like, "You would have binge-drunk if you had one drink," or "I kept this secret because of your past angry outbursts," are unproductive. It's important to recognize that these behaviors are no longer part of the person's present reality. It's important to recognize and appreciate the strides someone is making towards becoming a better version of themselves. Encouragement and support can go a long way in fostering personal development and building trust
Good advice.
Just like people, they cannot change; we can change how we care for them. That is what you are doing. Agree with you 100 percent; people and animals have to want to change.
“He chose peace”..........perfect. ❤😊
I got a free horse because the owner spoiled him so bad he became barn sour.
Once saddled and out the gate he would crow hop, so they turned around. They gave up on him.
I took him, worked him in the round pen. It took two weeks for him to realize how things work.
He got so obedient that if I look at his shoulder without touching he would give to my eyes.
My leg ques were very soft. He knew how to read the changes in my seat.
He turned into a very good horse.
Occasionally he’d get cold backed. So I let him get it out. Sometimes it was on a lead sometimes I was on him.
I worked cows on him. He was fearless. I cow hunted on him, we got bad stuck in a flag pond. I worked him out slowly.
Took some digging.
Only thing is he would colic. I finally got that straightened out too.
Great video. Makes a lot of sense
Impeccable insight. Also, changing oneself for someone else’s desire is a trap. Change for yourself. That’s what matters most.
A man must recognise that things can easily change and he must therefore prepare his mind for those changes so that they do not come as a surprise and then become a great burden upon him, he must fortify himself in readiness for the inevitable event. The Pessimist is always lurking in the back of his mind.
" I offered him an alternate approach...and he changed" What a line! Love it!
As an EHS Manager in the Manufacturing arena for 30 years I have learned the secret to change, and it is just that, offering an alternative approach. Now, if I could only make the damn horse drink!
they wont drink cause they used to dirty water
Dewayne, this video came at absolutely the right time. Although it’s not a marriage it parallels with the relationship to my 76 year old mother. The parallel are spot on. She simply will not stop falling for scams. I manage her finances and she continues to give money away. Your video gave me the exact tact I need to take. THANK you! I will offer and alternative solution. I have to work on my patience and temper. I turn 56 in May and I take away great things from your videos.
When dementia begins, it becomes virtually impossible for them to choose to change and carry through. Not saying your mother is demented, but I’d strongly suspect she’s begun on path of cognitive decline. It is tough on caregivers, so don’t expect any easy solutions. Just manage her finances as well as you can, love her, and appreciate the time you have with her - it is tragically short.
A fine rocking chair from a fine wife. Beautiful wisdom and a great cigar. Happy birthday
Speaking about a person with a temper, that was me. And it took me years and one very scary moment for me to open my eyes to the reality of it.
I stormed off into dad's shop after, shaking scared of what I almost done. Had a real serious one on one with God. I don't know how long I was in the shop, felt like hours.
But after that, I actually cared to REALLY try and become a better person. Wasn't easy at first. My brother tried things to get a reaction and man, the temptation to deck him was strong. But I didn't. He couldn't believe it. But with time, he backed off.
I still have dark moments, but not near as many as I used to 20 some years ago.
One of the hardest lessons to realize and apply.
I always tell my friends and family, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink.” Thanks for the lecture today
Glad you stepped back , took a deep breath , used your common sense ; and decided to continue to guide us humans , horses and mules . It's a shame that one jackass caused you to consider moving away from your God given gift . Happy to see you "back on the trail" again . 🍀
Very wise words my dear sir.
This was quite literally one of the biggest turning points in my life... When I realized that it's not in my power to change (or control) any of the people around me, was when I became a totally different person. It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
Things started to become so much more clearer, as I learned how to just focus on controlling myself as well as my own thoughts.
It is indeed very true that you can't change people... But you can always influence them through your own words and actions.
I just rescued a very high energy dog from the humane society a few days ago and this is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Dogs and horses may be different physically, but I think the sentiment is still valid. Wisdom from those with experience is always valuable to those who want to learn 🙂
Amen friend...every single homeschool mom of little boys needs to watch, digest and apply this.
Praise Yah, thank you, Brother!
You sure have a way about you.
A great "Teacher". Much Love
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
“The way, cannot be forced”
- Lao Tzu
Thanks
Thanks
Where has this guy been all my life? My Wyoming uncle I never knew I needed.
Oh Dwayne I hope you understand how truly charismatic and legendary your disposition is, especially for a man like me in my early 40's. You are appreciated.
Love getting wise words from you dewayne
I am about to turn 20 years old and for the past 6 years I've been blessed with a lady that taught me a lot of things. She taught me that there is a better option other than getting angry, she taught me to handle situations with a calm mind. She taught me that everything can be solved with words, there's no need to throw hands right away. She taught me that there's no need to speed and risk and put myself in danger, I can always speak what's on my mind and get the weight off my chest without risking anything. She opened my eyes in a lot of things, I raised her and she raised me, we learn from eachother.
She is a gift from heaven and I want to wife her up, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I am trying to get on my feet. Boys please pray for us that things will work out, because we went through the hardest things and I just want to slow down and find peace with her.
Happy birthday Dwayne. You got an awesome lady that takes care of you that priceless.👍👍👍
I very much appreciate these fireside chats. Living while surrounded by so many folks in the city who get stuck watching blinking lights all day is disconnecting. Being able to kick these kinds of videos on while working in the garage (getting my late grandfather's 50 year old rototiller back running soon currently) gives me some respite and some sorely needed wisdom.
Don't be surprised when the movie producers come after you. Enjoyed this video so much. 😊😊
Learned this lesson the hard way in a relationship. Giving yourself the option to move on when the person chooses separation instead of positive change is a massive step.
You are a godsend Dewayne! This couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you for your wisdom 🙏🏼
I had to quit drinking on my own and it’s hard but not impossible ,especially when you straighten up and reflect on your actions and how they affect not just you but others you love.
It's crazy how fast his beard is turning white
His wisdom is showing.
Oh my god just noticed, that’s so cool.
@@amybahner6511 my facial hair really started getting white a few years ago. With me I doubt it’s from wisdom 🤣😂
@@johnfish7144 😂 lol, well usually it does!
@@johnfish7144… yeah but you can chalk it up to experience so there’s that…
Happy Birthday Dewayne!!! From a young man down here in Florida, you have done nothing but change my life and help me recognize I can change myself in ways I had long forgotten was possible! :)
You can lead a horse to the water but you can't make it drink.
To you sir a very Happy Birthday!! Thanks for all your advice and wisdom,Im old school myself still believe morals, scruples which are very rare in this age and time!!! God bless you and your Mrs.🙏🙏
Just hearing this man talking is so relaxing he brings inner peace
Man...the whole shot reminds me of my papaw in his corner chair with the wood paneling rambling on about similar things.
I thank him for many things. As well as yourself. Thank you
You can't change anyone, but you can definitely influence and even inspire.
Happy Birthday!! Thank you for sharing your sound advice in the videos.
So true ,so subtle and just plain perfectly put..Thank you Sir.😊
I needed this Mr Noel, thank you! And happy birthday ❤️
Your advice always seems to come just when I need to hear it. Thank you, Dewayne.
Would you and Mamma ever consider buying the place that you have leased?It really seems to fit you both and your business. Blessings to you for a wonderful year.
I have broached the subject to the owner, but they do not wish to sell
Thank you Dwayne! Love and God Bless.
Absolute gold brother Dewayne. 👌 So much truth, and the analogy works perfectly.
Thank you as always for sharing your thoughts. God bless you, your Bride, your family and your business. 👊
Thank you Dewayne! This came at the perfect time, I really needed to hear this. Wishing you a wonderful birthday!
I love these videos!! Thank you!! And thank you Momma!
Happy birthday Dwayne! I wish you a long and happy life. Thank you, Dwayne and Momma, for uploading this video. It has helped me get through some difficult times in my life.
Thank you so much for your wisdom, DeWayne. I'm going through a time where my other half is trying to change things about me that I don't agree with, but she won't change or even find a compromise. Thank you for your words!
I know this is late but happy birthday Dewayne! Your videos are such a breath of fresh air. I feel like I have learned so much wisdom from you since I discovered your channel last summer. Thank you for everything you do!
Your wisdom on all your videos is amazing. Just to hear it and know I am making the right choices now. Very grateful for your channel!
Mr Dwayne I just want to say thank you for your content I started getting into cigars and you have helped me change my life around for the better. Thank you
Happy Birthday!!! Love your channel!! Thank you for the wonderful advice on horses and life in general. I am very grateful.
I wanted to add something to what you are saying about the horse making the choice. The person must know what the options are and must be willing to go the distance with the horse. I have watched too many people completely overhorse themselves without the proper knowledge level. Seems to always end up with bad behavior from humans.
You are a true horseman. Thank you for giving out proper knowledge.
Omgosh yes I need to be more patient and understanding with the spouse. Yup.
I will change myself. I have been working on it all 2024. The part where you said something along the lines of trying to change someone and that becoming all you see, forgetting the positives, has opened my eyes to that again. I am the one who wants to change and that has blinded me to the positives in my relationship and life. Thank you for reinforcing my spirit with the words I need.
I LOVE THAT WOOD STOVE AND THE COFFEE OH YEAH GOD BLESS AND THANKS FOR THE ADVICE
Excellent interpretation of how to proceed when encountering these situations. Inspiring, encouraging, and very wise. I’m going to rewatch because I found it so important! Thank you! 🤝
Happy Birthday 🎂 thanks for that , patience that's a hard one for me sometimes. I'm studying 📖 and learning You know I thank GOD for Ole Timers when I reflect some Precious Folks that knew a little somethin helped me and at the time I didn't even realize it. THANK YOU. 👍🏻
Happy birthday Sir! Your videos helps me lots! Thanks from down under Australia
I always remind myself of your prior video - you have to meet them where they are, on the day. Preconceptions of how you expect them to behave will only lead to frustration- and everyone has their own way, emotions etc that fluctuate.
Have an amazing birthday week ahead! May the blessings be fruitful and continuous.
Just what I need to hear. Thank you for this.
There are some things here that I needed to hear, and thank you for the message.
This helped me, I really needed to hear this today.
That love towards Mama got me giggling like school girl, it's so cute... also it's a very important message.. I think it refers to communication, which is talking as well as listening... and patience and care is needed, all the contrast of people pleasing and control... love the videos, you're a real role model, thank you sir!
Again thank you brother. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy birthday Sir. I knew we had something in commin and honored to be a student of your experience. Thank you.
God Bless you for all your amazing advice. Truly grateful. Trying to unlearn some bad coping mechanisms by listening to you and gaining wisdom. Have a great birthday with your family!
Very truthful words of wisdoms. For relationships period. I know a bit on this subject myself. My wife is an addict, 10 years clean. We are happier now than we have ever been. All my bitching and hollering never helped anything. Options and is what helped and turned her around.
Happy Birthday Brother!❤
Happy birthday; wish you many more 🇯🇲 thank you for all the insightful words and knowledge
This was crystal clear ❤
Wise man. God bless you, Dwayne!
Hearing how much you love your wife really makes me so happy, it brings tears to my eyes because it's such a beautiful thing that I dont often hear or see. I really hope that I can find and cultivate a loving relationship such as you have. I will have hope 🙏
thank you- this is so helpful for the pain I've endlessly found in trying to control life changes and relationships. I am a 22 year old woman who is graduating college soon and it has been very interesting coming to new conclusions through your wisdom. I'm learning to change- learning to let go.
Good morning Dwayne
I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous 17 + years of sobriety off drugs and alcohol.
Sometimes you just get damned sad that you can't change them. The wife keeps going back
Had a heck of a time sleeping last night
Then I woke up to you this morning I don't know about the rest of these Jack wagons I needed a small miracle this morning to remind me.
I can't control nothing
God bless brother. Sound advice, happy birthday. Take care.
He is back! Thank you for video.
Thank you for this insight! I'm on the journey of change myself. I'm three months sober now. I didn't to drink alcohol/get drunk any more. I'm also looking into christianity. In a previous video, you mentionted a story of Jesus helping others out of compassion, which is something I try to do myself, and I realise it is the way I wish to continue, and a place where I can find like-minded people. I will probably do an orientation course for christianity, which includes bible study, as well as discussions about topics surrounding christianity. I'm happy to have these insights at the age of 26, so I can have a longer, happier, and calmer life.
Thank you Dwayne for continuing to bring sound logic to this generation. Hugs to you and mama for such a great council on how a marriage works. Thank you sir.
Thanks for the video sir! They are all appreciated. Happy birthday to you!
Great to see you back, with the coffee and cigar, having a chat! HAPPY Birthday too!
I appreciate you Dewayne. Your words of wisdom are a blessing to me…. 🙏Happy birthday Sir!
You are the Grandfather that i've never had. There's so much knowledge in your words..Greetings down from Brazil Dwane.
Great advice!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom 😊
My ol Grandaddy used to say: "there's nothin like horse sense" when we talk about folks we call that "uncommon sense" ... I sure did learn a lot from my Grandaddy. Sir you remind me of him. Bless ya'll on your birthday.
Happy birthday! You’re exactly right. This is the same with dogs. Training gives them more options and our choices if you will. It is up to them to make the right choice. Trust your training.
Thanks, Dwyane!
Right on Mr Dewayne, Brother your a TRUE Treasure and Man, Thank you 💕 just for being U.. unique, blessed, Up right HUMAN...
Thank you Sir for the true wisdom, over many videos you've shared.
This was gospel, thank you. Understand better about people not changing than horses, that was an eye opener. I have been around people and did it myself, of hauling a horse around and I felt like a bully.
🎉🎉🎉 Happy Birthday Sir! I do enjoy your wisdom. Best Regards!
Dwayne, although I'm 49 and my father just passed in June of 2023, I miss him sooo much beyond what I can explain.
I receive your words as gold. Had I taken his advice when I was 19 I'd be retired now, enjoying my wife and children.
I always loved talking with him and listening to him in the latter part of my life. Now that I will receive it better, he's unfortunately no longer with us.... I turn to your videos to fulfill what I still needed to hear from my father 😢
Thank you sir
I love this man. ❤ I share him with everyone I know!
Great words of wisdom for horses and people
Thank you for the video brother 👍
Hope y'all are enjoying your Saturday,
Enjoyed the talk