Petty Emotions? I Haz Them! Post-Nap Brutal Honesty. Admitting It & Learning To Cope Without Food.

This is a difficult video for me to work through and especially hard to post it. It is necessary though. I promised warts and all, and this is definitely that. (Even the silly half asleep camera work mistake at the beginning! And SO MANY YAWNS!)
It's another example how food is more than a biological drive to satisfy body hunger. For years it was one of my only coping techniques. I didn't even allow myself to acknowledge uncomfortable thoughts. I would start to have them and then be face first in whatever food helped soothe those little f___ers into a coma. Which never worked because I'd release that anger/fear/sadness many weeks later over something that felt safe to be angry etc about and never feel, or deal with, what I was really feeling.
Feeling the full pettiness was very uncomfortable. Embarrassing. Eye opening. Humbling. Ultimately, helpful. Without acknowledging these emotions and learning to feel them, to ride them out and let the wave pass, I cannot learn to let them be what they are...fleeting emotions.
I've learned that from watching my daughter grow up, They pass. No matter how intense in the moment, they pass. Dealing with them or processing what made the emotion happen will often happening later. Sometimes no navel gazing is necessary they literally just fade away once they've done their job.
My health psychologist told me the emotions are drivers of our lizard brain, fight/flight/freeze/fawn. They're a reaction to something we perceive as a threat, a necessary part of our human experience and survival mechanisms. Our modern world though, doesn't give us many options to flee from stress, even perceived stressed. So we learn imperfect coping techniques. We no longer beat our chests, fling our poop, or tear down the shrubbery like our primitive primate ancestors. So if we don't have ways to manage our stress, we usually turn it inwards and damage ourselves, or some turn it outwards and damage others, or property.
Dealing with the big emotions after learning that was far easier than dealing with the petty, small emotions. Especially the ones I judge to be insignificant or something I think I shouldn't be feeling as a grown up. And just when I think I've covered it all...something like today happens. Even petty emotions can stem from valid feelings. Small hurts are valid ones too.
Lesson received. Now to give myself some grace next time that happens. Perhaps, the more I do that, the better I'll get at recognising it for what it is and over time my emotional self will trust me enough to deal with my emotions without food. {fingers crossed} Hopefully, the more I learn to express/acknowledge those feelings, the less dramatic my responses will be, even internally.