Being A Korean American Adoptee | THE VOICELESS #2
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
- Check out Danielle's blog for more detailed birth search process
trulybelle.site/
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We filmed this video a while ago after Danielle reached out to us and shared her powerful story. Having returned to the US, she tells us that she's been keeping in touch with her birth parents regularly and is looking forward to visiting Korea soon, hopefully to meet her siblings this time. For a more detailed account of her birth search, check out Danielle's blog: www.hippieseoul.com
If you have any interesting/inspiring/powerful stories based in Asia that you want us to cover, reach out to us at askasianboss@gmail.com
I'd like to know how japanese people feel about valentines day, i've heard its different there. Just an idea.
Asian Boss Did Danielle say why her sister didn't go with her to Korea? If Danielle doesn't want to feel like she's "different" in America, she should visit Hawaii. She will feel right at home there.
This has to be one of the most moving Asian Boss videos ever! Very touching!
R Age Do you know why/how there are a lot of asians in hawaii? I've always been curious about that.
Asian Boss please cover stories of grown Korean and Black people. My daughter is half Ko Korean and Jamaican and we have reservations about living there.
Her American mom is so sweet
Cause Namjoon is beautiful in and out
Her mom*
It was great that we got to see that side of her story. It seems like she has a great relationship with her American parents, which is probably very helpful during such an emotionally trying journey.
Very supportive mom. She puts aside the ego.
God bless her mama
Might be a stretch, but would Asian Boss be willing to do interviews of people who remember the Korean War? I find that it's not talked about as much as WW2 or the Vietnam War, so I don't know much about it. What I do get is, like with any war, an entire society was altered.
unknowndeoxys00 wow, great idea imo
Yea id like to hear their perspective on that as well
Ditto! That would be amazing!
Totally agree! My dad's uncle who fought in the Korean War recently passed away... Unfortunately I just met him once (he lived in Turkey, I'm from Germany)
That would be great but many veterans have probably passed away due to old age.
In the interest of full disclosure, I'm also a Korean American adoptee. While I am curious about them, and would not be opposed to meeting them, I haven't ever felt an urgent desire or need to search for or find my birth parents or any other relations, and I was a little leery about the way that watching this vid may leave me feeling. My family went back to Korea as tourists when I was about 12 years old, and we spent some time at the adoption agency my parents had used when they adopted me. I was fortunate enough to meet my foster mother, and we had a small, two-way Q&A with several mothers who were nearing the end of their pregnancies, and whose children were going to be adopted. The Q&A was absolutely crushing, even as a young child who could not yet fully appreciate the incredible onus, responsibility, and fear that these women were carrying. They wept deeply, and with a heavy weight behind their tears. We too wept deeply. I have never cried and sobbed as much as I did then.
Having just now finished the vid, I'm glad I watched it through. I found the home movies of Danielle's Arrival Day/Airplane Day/Gotcha Day (I know we've all got different names for it :D) at the beginning of the vid to be extremely touching, which surprised me. The videos my now deceased Grandpa took look exactly the same as the videos Danielle's family took: dimly lit, with a very tired looking Mom and Dad who just could not stop the smiles. I have 30 years of life under my belt now, and while I *know* (in my head) that I, just like Danielle, am every bit an American, part of me - some small usually ignored part of me -cannot help but *feel* ... a bit misplaced, perhaps. I am not sure if these are the words I'm looking for, but they're the first to come to mind. It is a rather queer predicament in which we interethnic adoptees seem to find ourselves. I know full well that I do not belong in Korea; it, just as much as say, South Africa, or New Guinea, is not my home. But home, as it turns out, is an elusive place, an eely state of mind. Another commenter mentioned that in their native land of Denmark, Korean adoptees often feel a bit out of place, and I would concur. Many of us, I'd wager, never quite feel like full-fledged members of the tribe, so to speak, always noticing the subtle nuances that set us out as apart, but also sharply aware that we would feel just as awkwardly off kilter "at home" in Korea.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm commenting. My apologies for the lengthy comment... I don't often do much interacting on social media like this. Danielle's story did not grab me by the heartstrings per se, but rather resonated with me, echoed so much of my own childhood, and led me to do some (likely needed) reflective navel-gazing. Many thanks to Asian Boss for making this video, another great one among many. And all the best of luck to Danielle, and all the others out there who are sifting through the weeds, searching for something, someplace, some feeling, looking for home.
Andrew Swanson My boi, Andrew.
I enjoyed reading your story. I hope the pin your comment.
Thanks for the kind words; we all have a story to tell, don't we? Mundane though many of ours may seem, we need only to find another whose ears are open to listen.
Thank you for posting your comment Andrew, it was very interesting to read your take.
It sounds a lot like being mixed. Your too white for your black side and too black for your white side.
I started bawling when her Korean dad came to the airport. I could tell that he really loved her and I hope they keep in touch.
Danielle Oakes that's amazing 💕
@@danielleoakes Thanks for sharing your story, Danielle. It was so moving on so many different levels. Also when you put on that Korean traditional dress --- you looked just so beautiful. It transformed you in ways that I just can't put my finger on. You're a lovely young woman inside and out :-)
umm, I was shocked that no one was there. I'm still a little shocked that everyone didn't go to the airport to see her off.
Me too.... esp when his dad turn around and was crying into his elbows..
@@danielleoakes a "bit" late but you two are so sweet and so strong, and your mum ! A hell of a woman, amazing
Her mom in the US is so amazing!!! She doesnt feel insecure about her status as mom, and understands her daughter’s human curiosity to learn about her origins
I didn’t plan to cry :/ thank you for the amazing content Asian Boss.
MS mikloh I’m only four minutes in and I’m already planning on ugly crying on the train.
MS mikloh me too, I didn't plan to cry but it just conw tears down without I realized
I was ok until the end. Daad why. 😭
The dad walking away crying into his arm is too much for me man.
I’m crying real tears rn
I don’t feel bad for him. Those were more likely tears of overwhelming guilt. It seems they abandoned their daughter because of her condition. It’s very telling that they also denied her of meeting her siblings because of how it would make them look as parents. It took him two weeks to decide if he even wanted to meet her! They seem to be all about appearances. She also only spoke of connecting with them once while she there and feeling incredibly lonely. I hope she finds a way to reach out to her siblings despite her bio parents saying no.
@@1coolgyrl Seems like the real problem is all the considerations around "saving face", bloodlines, purity, etc. How sane and happy can you be if you deny something exists or essentially live on lies? One wouldn't need to "save face" if they did the honest/honorable thing. Of course the medical expenses might've been part of it, but that doesn't allow for the bio-parents to not tell the 2 other siblings.
Similar situation in China (just more recently). There's a documentary on youtube called The Zhang Empresses.
@@1coolgyrl i assume there was huge influence of his wife in those decisions obviously including his own.
I thought this was a powerfully emotional episode. I appreciate the sensitivity and depth you brought to the women and their situation. Good work, Asian Boss.
seems the father regretted it soo much pretty sad
Some parents are forced to make really tough decisions unfortunately but they did it for great reasons
@Alex Martins try living here.. you'll understand..
Watching him walk away at the airport holding his shoulder like he was still trying to feel her there. 😭
Alex Martins but we really don’t know why they gave her up for adoption. It was just her theory
@Alex Martins Just to correct this statement, it's not just a skin disease. It's an embryological defect that also often accompanies other birth defects. They couldn't afford her medical bills nor did Korea have a good medical system back then. I agree you with that this is an awful decision but it wasn't as superficial as you think.
That's so sad for the second girl. It can make someone feel so empty when their own parents don't want them and cause so many psychological issues. I hope she feels fulfilled and loved by her American parents.
Rube Yes I agree! And I definitely feel loved by my parents. :)
Thank God the parents chose life. ❤❤❤
@@patriotpie2637 Don't you mean adoption? If they had chosen life and kept her she would have grown up feeling unloved and with psych issues like my Grandma did.
@@versacegang4140 They might mean life as opposed to abortion.
It was so touching story.
About 25years ago, I was working for european airline as a flight attendant. I have seen so many
adaptee babies flying to Europe.
Most of them were crying so much
during the flight. It broke my heart.
I really really hope the best for all of them and Daniella.
So sad...well seeing such different faces and being in the arms of strangers would be scary. Babies do have feelings poor things.
I'm a Korean adoptee. Thank you for this video. I would love to see videos perhaps on orphans that don't get adopted, but grow up in the Korean "system". Or video about domestic adoptions. I know there is an adoption education center in (Inchon?). Thank you again, I enjoy all of your videos.
yes i agree, would be amazing
Korean has a orphanage system where each orphanage gets a stipend per child. They have to leave when they finish high school. Mostly likely, they'll have pretty tough lives (relatively). No adults to lean on and will have to make it on their own. Very few will get into good schools as they didn't go to the hagwons when younger (but they would be the same as lower class families as well).
I doubt any orphanage would allow filming or interviews since they are minors.
There is a similar one about Japanese orphans.
HKim0072 when I see different documentaries of orphans from Korea and the US, I personally think the orphanage system is better than the foster care system in North America. I recently heard about a sexually abused foster care child and nothing was really done about it and it was super depressing. Living in one place until you grow up is better than being shipped from family to family. Korean orphans have it tough when they grow up but in Canada foster care kids have a high rate of homelessness and suicide when they grow up too
Wonderful idea and I know the domestic adoptions have definitely increased over the years vs transnational adoptions which have decreased. I believe it even dropped from 1300 kids 10 years ago to only 300 last year.
I went through the whole video without shedding a tear, but then the dad had to pop out of nowhere and surprise her at the airport. It was so sad and touching knowing she got a good feeling of closure and love. It was even more sad seeing the dad cry as he walked away thinking about how ashamed and happy he felt about the situation
me too! i knew instantly who he was when he popped up and Bam!.....something got in my eye. started blinking a lot. wth! lol
This made me cry. When I was teaching in Korea, I met two Korean-American adoptees who were looking for their parents. Asian Boss, you are the boss. You are doing great work.
Thanks for making this video. These stories aren't shared enough, and people tend not to understand the hardships that adoptees go through, even while growing up in loving families. My home country, Denmark, is per capita the country in the world with the most Korean adoptees, and I'm happy to say that I've met and have close relationships with many people with such a background. It's clear to me that more needs to be done to give them a voice, because they are often marginalized and put in a situation, where they don't feel like they 100% belong in either country. Thanks again for another great video, I hope that Danielle, her biological family, and her adopted family all grow and gain and continue to grow and gain a lot from this experience.
I had this experience when I met a Danish girl in Korea looking for her biological parents. Later I visited her in Horsens, Demark and she introduced me to many adoptees from the Holt Organisation. I am an Australian and really enjoy these types of stories having spent a long time in Asia.
it is just something color of minority experience. I am not an adoptee but as Asians you are never viewed as american no matter what with/without accent.
For example something happened to me
taxi driver: " where are you from"
me: " canada"
Taxi" where are you really from"
me: " canada"
Taxi driver: " You don't look Canadian"
me: " what are Canadians suppose to look alike?"
taxi driver: " where are your parents from"
me: " canada ..."
all honesty what are Canadians or Americans suppose to look alike?
@@brisbanerugby I've heard of Holt International. I used to watch this show on the Discovery Health channel as a teenager called Adoption Stories. They've featured Korean adoptees from Holt.
I lived in Korea for 5 years and my wife is from there. The complicated social and cultural norms especially from this time period explain why many of these children were put up for adotion. Please don't make the mistake of criticizing the birth parents using an American value system. This young lady while missing the experience of her birth family she was able to get the medical care she needed and she was a blessing to her adoted family. The reunion overall wasn't too bad but you can tell her birth mother is still struggling with it and she needs some time. Her birth dad is great and you know their relationship will blossom in time!
I'm bawling. One of my friends from jr high thru high school was a Korean adoptee from the same time period that these women were born. She went to Korea before her sophomore yr in hs and after connecting with her birth mom, had a tiny tattoo on her shoulder that said "Made in Korea". She was a typical outspoken strong American girl, but she had really changed since connecting to her personal history. My heart just goes out to all those who are trying to reconnect to their genealogical backgrounds to find that grounded center and sense of self. This was very beautiful and done with so much respect to these women and their families. Thank you. ❤
As a Korean, This video was very touchy and I am very sorry for the people who were adopted back then even if they have nothing to do with me.
Above all, I am very thankful that I know where I am from and who gave birth to me although my parents got divorced.
Hopefully, A lot of prejudice in Korea will be tapering off.
And I hope that the day is soon coming that many people will be proud of themselves as a Korean.
David Han: I'm not korean but I just wrote a post here that I think something has to change about korean culture if children are given up for adoption for such minor things as the ones touched upon in the video.
I hope such a message from me doesn't cause offense. I don't believe that I know "better", but I think all people can agree that we need to change our societies so that they don't put undue pressure on parents to give their own children up for something so insignificant as a minor birth defect.
even today, life in korea still suck. i still cannot pay my medical bills
Hmm. Korea has some of the cheapest medical care in the world. You must've gone through a lot if so.
my dad is a korean adoptee it is strange to not know your real korean family my dad was 5/6 when he was adopted we tried to search for them only it got to personal so my dad didnt want to go on. My dad was and still is the only korean in the regon it was hard for him cuz he was the only forgeiner in the entire city at the time now there are a lot of polish men but no koreans at all. My grandma didnt do anything with my dads korean culture now he never went back and he just dont care about korea and thinks he is dutch and white.
That's quite sad honestly, but I don't get the reason he stopped searching. Nothing to lose
Her story is so relatable. I'm half Egyptian and I can't speak Arabic. I always felt disconnected from my father's culture because I was never exposed to it. Almost like an identity crisis. She's so strong.
And now you know why Europeans and western people should be rejecting multiculturalism
This episode made me feel so many emotions! I hope that more adoptees are encouraged by Danielle's story. Thank you for making us more aware Asian Boss!!!
*This made me cry tears of joy*
I'm also a Korean-American adoptee, being adopted at 6 months. So is my older brother
I also thought the same that growing up here in America, made me more American.
I was bullied a lot when i was younger. Mainly for my eye shape, since Koreans have almond shaped eyes. I've seen other asians at school, but they never got bullied that i know of, only me.
The other kids would make fun of me, calling me Chinese most of the time.
People also asked me about whether or not i would want to find and meet my birthparents, i wouldn't know what to say.
I am very grateful, that my adopted parents are truly kind and the best parents i could ask for. They helped me and my brother get used to American culture, but also learning about Korean culture
Sorry if this was long.
The documentary was amazing
This is so empowering and emotional and raw. Wow.
Me too
And where are you from ?
So raw...
this video makes me cry and appreciate my parents so much... despite lacking in financial department they worked hard for us to get education and proper care... I would like to salute all the parents biological or adoptive who love their children despite all circumstances
this was one of the best stories covered by asian boss.... thank you for providing us with great content
My boyfriend is a Korean adoptee also but he said he has no desire to to find his birth parents. I'm taking him to Korea this year, so I hope he finds some sort of connection to his motherland. Great video! I definitely have a soft spot for adoptees, my mama was adopted herself too. ❤ I can't imagine the emotions that go through your heart.
Asians stick together. Only date other Asian. Why
@@MrTitoske thats not entirely true lol
@@robotkiller987 sure it's a stretch to say that every asian does that but literally so many asians date just other asians but then I realized that even though I act more german and don't really have anything to do with turkish beides me being turkish I mostly have turkish friends so Idk somehow you kinda gravitate to your own "kind"
Whoa on so many levels.
@@zhiwooyi It's probably just easier to hang out with people you have a lot of commonality with whether that is culturally or otherwise. My friends and I come from many different cultural backgrounds, but a majority of us are queer and are studying art.
This is a powerful and well-made video, in my opinion. It hits home, since my wife and I adopted our daughter from Korea in 1991, and our son in 1993, to our home near Dayton, Ohio, USA. We have very similar arrival videos. We are so very grateful to the Dayton Area Korean Association that welcomed all of the Korean adoptees and families in our area to their functions, mostly picnics with games and other Korean cultural activities. Our son, by his own choice spent many summers at a Korean culture camp in Michigan. Our daughter just did not want to go, and we did not force her. Both are doing well now. Both have graduated college, and our daughter is married (and we are hoping for a grandchild someday, but we'll see, right -- that's not our choice). If you are a Korean birthmother reading this, please know we did our best to raise these two amazing children in a loving home and they are now responsible and kind adults, and thank you from our hearts for the lives you have shared with us.
I am really grateful for my life but sometimes the sadness is almost unbearable. Two years ago, I discovered, I have two sisters and a brother. My adoptive parents passed away, but I will always cherish my memories.
Thats exactly how I felt being raised as a Chinese Adoptee :/ I even made a video on it and also one about how I wanted to be white, but now I've completely accepted myself and am proud of being asian :)
I think that's how a lot of Asian Americans are at first, regardless of whether they're adopted or not, before they come to accept themselves when they get older. They want to get away from being viewed as traditionally Asian and wanting to be accepted as a Westerner and so they'll only date people outside their race and hang out with non-Asians.
So sad. You are the way God intended you to be. I am glad you hace learned to accept yourself.
This is what I was trying to explain to American parents who adopt Asian children. Some understand but some think that if they love the children enough, it’ll be enough. I tried to explain that at some point, if a cat has been raised by horses its whole life, no mater how much its life has been amazing with the horse, the cat will have a draw to find out what being a cat means. It’s a natural draw. And if instead of the horse incorporated some cat tendencies, when the cat finally is around other cats, it’ll at least know a little bit about cat tendencies. The cat cannot get away from being a cat.
@@nalaqueenofthejungle Well, that goes against the blank slate theory (tabula rasa) which is the dominant philosophy nowadays in the West. According to that theory all people are born completelly empty and everything they know, and everything they are, is result of experience and socializing. Americans are told in schools and through culture that this is how humans are. In fact, people are being called racist if they disagree with that theory.
I'm an westerner (not american though) but personally think this is ridiculous because we obviously inherit some of our parents (and their parents) traits, characteristics, genes etc. We are born mostly empty but not completelly. Some ideas and knowledge exist deep within us, in our DNA or elsewhere.
A very high quality and valuable story. Very well done, Asain Boss.
Great video. A lot of children are given up with birth defects or genetic disorders in asian countries due to social pressure of appearances and judgement. The people who adopt the children are amazing and i commend them for doing something that i wish i had the financial stability to do.
And you're an expert on Asia how? I'm from Asia and even I wouldn't flippantly generalise the whole continent. Unless you've lived in all the major Asian cultures, you don't have the authority to declare what Asian attitudes are like.
Yeah, but there are many other reasons that goes into giving up a child, for instance the one child policy in China. It is not only a remarkable action of the adoptive parents, because obviously they receive their desired child
yggh yh bgf It has been discussed often in media, yes, but it has also had a large impact and affect on many people. Not certain about what statistics you have read, nonetheless, the one child policy truly was brutal. Please don’t speak about something you know nothing about.
They're not amazing people... They shouldn't be thanked so much.
Isaac Goodman They adopted a child a made her their own daughter. They are amazing people. All good parents are amazing people.
This tore straight through me. One of the most touching things I’ve witnessed and was recorded so well. The questions asked were great and really dug deep. I can’t imagine what it’s like for the daughter and father living every day after having met. I’m so proud of him for turning up to say goodbye to her. As a middle aged Korean man, I imagine that took strength and letting his emotional guard down which I know is hard for a lot of older Korean men/fathers. I also feel so heavily for the other daughter who didn’t get the chance for that connection. It was so amazing seeing them in hanbok, they looked so beautiful. Korean culture is beautiful and it was even lovelier seeing them finally be a part of it.
WithBrittany: Beautiful culture yes, but hopefully there's room for change in some small parts of it. Change so that parents don't feel that they have to give up their children for adoption for such minor reasons. Do you agree?
Seven Proxies I do agree. But, I was referring to the more traditional side of their culture. Such as hanbok, traditional hanok houses, traditional foods, the language, culture of these sorts. The more outward aspects, if you will.
WithBrittany: I understand. I guess when I think of the word "culture" it basically means the whole package. While the aesthetic and culinary aspects like you mention are certainly part of a culture, I'd say that certain ingrained values and moral beliefs also compose a part of culture as well.
And some, very traditional, conservative people tend to believe that you'll "lose" your culture if you change some of the values and morals. But I'd argue that both South Korea and Japan are very good examples of Asian cultures who have successfully adopted certain changes to their culture with many influences from the west (like in the tech industries and economy) while still maintaining a great emphasis on the traditional aesthetics and culinary practices in a very harmonious and balanced way.
People from Korea still seem to put great value on things like hanbok, traditional hanok houses and such while still very capable of adapting to and incorporating international practices and activities that serve to benefit the country financially and making it a powerful country in global trading.
This is something I try to highlight as a shining example in my own country. Being a European, sadly we're afflicted by a "multiculturalist" political movement, that seems more hellbent on completely destroying everything that sets my own countrys culture apart from others, even to the point where they try to eliminate and/or ridicule things like aesthetics and traditional foods.
So when I try to argue against it I tell people to look to South Korea and Japan and how you have successfully maintained a balance and harmony between the traditional and the imported.
But still it breaks my heart a little to think that some koreans may feel a cultural pressure to give up their children for adoption if they're not born with perfect health. So that's where I see that some changes might be proper.
We as Americans no matter our background or race have a serious duty and responsibility to make the environment as welcoming as possible for folks like this.
Had our and european gvt been tougher on korea then there wouldn't have been such suffering. There is a business side to adoption and even the countries know theor countries benefit from it...the outside countries should have done more to pressure them to fix these problems instead of taking them all in. But the othet countries know they will grow up to productive members of society...so it's business over morality... and kind hearted people all play into it.
I was adopted from South Korea when I was 7. Being half black and Korean made it so difficult to live in Korea.
Say your blessings every night. Being adopted at 7 is a miracle.
You're incredibly handsome. Bless your soul.
As a Korean adoptee myself, this video hit home on so many levels. The questions of, “what are you?”, “did you always know you were different?”, “do you want to find your biological parents?” - I’ve answered all of them. The disassociated feelings from Korean culture, the urge to belong, the insane amount of questions of what my biological parents look like, and the feelings of why I was given up for adoption hit home so hard.
I can’t imagine how I’d feel or react if I had the chance to meet my biological parents. Not sure I’ll ever be able to either.
I can’t really put into words how moving this story was for me, and to have this video be seen over 100k times is insane!
Thank you for showing me a representation that I can finally relate to.
Keep up the great work.
This is such a sad and remarkable story. Thank you, Asian Boss.
Wow!! What a story! The last few minutes had me in tears. Bravo Steve, wonderful job!!
Me too
Wow!!! It's really a tearjerker; they are strong , brave, and beautiful girls. 😘
You're a beautiful looking lady
very emotional but i really enjoyed this! ^^
i'm a chinese adoptee living in scandinavia and i certainly wasn't exposed to my culture of origin either. i grew up in a very white neighborhood, pretty much isolated from other people of color and that's something i really regret my adoptive parents did. lately i've been thinking a lot about my adoption and my biological family and my current dream is to learn mandarin and travel back to china but i right now don't have the money. i'll also try to search for my biological parents in the future, at least then i can live with myself, knowing that i've tried!
thank you for sharing this story with us! it's not often adoptees voices get heard, we're always brought up in abortion or lgbtq+ debates but never on our own terms, discussing our own issues and rights. it's really nice to be able to relate to other adoptees since we're often excluded by both white people and "ordinary" asian-americans (or in my case, asian-europeans).
That girl has a wonderful american family. The love between them is heart warming
Omg when the father came at the airport I lost it, this is so sad :(
Why didn't the mother come, too, though?!!!
when I saw the father wiped his tears with his sleeve after he turned back... i lost it too
I’m also a Korean-American adoptee! Born in Busan, South Korea and adopted at six months old by a wonderful family in New York. When I was younger I never really thought much about my biological family. My biological father (according to the couple papers we have on my history) left my biological mother after he found out she was pregnant, and my biological mother didn’t get the support she needed to take care of a child. All in all I’d say pretty typical.
My adoptive parents were and are incredibly open about my Korean heritage and always supported my wishes to learn more about my culture. However, up until a few years ago, I was doing more to try and fit in with all the blonde-hair, blue-eyed kids.
Luckily, I started gaining more interest in Korean culture through food, music, friends, as well as other things. I feel a pull towards Korea, and I want to return someday soon.
Lots of people have asked me if I want to find my birth parents. As for my birth father? No. I don’t think I owe him that. My birth mother? I’m not sure. I know in my heart that I hold no resentment of her, as giving me up was probably in my best interest. After I was born, I was taken immediately into an orphanage, and then was taken care of by a wonderful foster family in Korea. After I was adopted, they said they could never foster again due to it being so difficult to part with me. I have a few precious pictures with of them with me in South Korea. They seem like really good people. I think I’d like to meet them one day. I think my mom is friends with my foster mom on Facebook lol.
Honestly, I’m scared to go back. I feel like I’m kind of everything a good, accepted Korean girl isn’t. I’m gay, I’m overweight, I’m darker skinned, I dress more masculine, I’m almost too outspoken about my mental health issues, and I don’t speak fluent Korean. So it makes me nervous just thinking about going back. Some of the above things I can work on. Some of the things I can’t.
I WILL go back though. Soon :)
My friend and his wife adopted 2 Korean children as infants..years ago. They are are giving them a loving and good life that I hope their birth parents would be happy about. Because I have seen an adoptee situation in real life, your video and her story is amazing! Its very powerful, emotional and informative. Well done and thank you for your efforts!
May God Bless your friends and their family.
I hope they help them to have some form of open adoption to allay some pain later.
Danielle is so well spoken and expresses her complex emotions so well. I can't imagine what she was feeling throughout this process. And my heart broke even more when her friend explained her completely different story. This was a great and important episode.
Hello Asian Boss!
Since you guys *just* uploaded, I'm gonna make this short so that there actually are chances that you see this- _i love you guys and appreciate the hard work you put in your videos, so thank you for that!!_
Love from India🌹❤️
This seriously took me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. She is so strong for doing that. And you can tell the father really felt bad for that and that he really loves her. It’s sad that she couldn’t meet her siblings. I hope one day she can.
Another great work from Asian Boss.
新年快乐! 새해 복 많이 받으십시오! Happy Lunar New Year to all!
Vietnam also celebrates it. We call it Tết and to say Happy New Year, we say "Chúc Mừng Năm Mới"
Chúc Mừng Năm Mới to Allison and all Vietnamese friends!
Idk why, I just have trouble closing my browser after watching this video...
Such a remarkable story.. truly at a loss for words.. the emotions danielle, her parents, and her biological parents must have felt through this whole experience.
thank you asian boss and danielle for sharing.
Wow! I was adopted at 13 months from Korea, or so I thought. I am 61 so I guess I was born at the end of the Korean War. Fast forward, my adopted dad was really my dad. Secrets.
Like biologically?? Interesting story!
yes, I only found out after he passed away a few years ago. And then things started making sense. @@influenzaz1012
@@scadet718 i didnt understood sir
This was one of the most heart-breaking and emotionally touching adoptee segments I've seen...it really resonated that we all want to know where we come from on a purely biological and human level...but that your family and who becomes your tribe, the ones who choose to love you like her adoptive parents is what real parental love is about. Danielle was lucky to have met her birth parents but to have her mom who chose her as her daughter...
What a great mother! She should be so very proud of the wonderful girl she raised!
i recently watched a film on Netflix called 'Seoul Searching' and its based on Korean-American 1st generations and Adoptees coming to Korea to learn about their culture etc.
it's really funny but also has a good lesson to learn.
this was such a great video, thank you ^_^
Sha・Ne・Ru I watched that show on Netflix, it is was really good
I thought it was a movie about the first generation born outside of Korea with Korean parents.
Laila M It is about that.
They are Korean American, Korean Mexican, Korean German, etcétera.
Finn x
There are a lot of other great documentaries on CZcams also, check out akaDan. We are also a podcast that are telling the stories of Korean American Adoptees and how everyone has a voice and story.
Steve, your interview style is remarkable. You ask thoughtful, intelligent questions with a great deal of empathy. You really care about the people you talk to. It’s refreshing. It’s the type of journalism we need more of.
Danielle is such a strong woman for sharing her most intimate personal story about her life and journey to meeting her birth parents. Thanks so much for sharing your story, it's very Inspiring!! Sending lots of love. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎
Of course! Thank you for your love and kind words. Right back at ya!
Have never cried over any other video of Asian Boss, but this got me. It just makes me think how I'm truly blessed to be with my birth parents. I hardly had any problem all these years and I take this for granted. People have it worse around us. I cant even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for her to actually meet them and for the other girl probably never being able to see her mother..its just sad. This was so moving and thought provoking. I wish all the best in life to these beautiful girls. ❤
True 💕
I don't know why I have to add this -- but there are many children who grow up with their biological parents in households empty of love, attention or even might be filled with violence. Being adopted into a loving family is not the worst fate on earth by a long shot. Obviously, I do understand what you are saying so please don't take this as a reproach -- it's just an addendum :-)
Danielle's adoptive mother is a kind, giving, loving, genuine, good person. God bless her! She raised a fine young lady. Danielle, you are classy as hell. Keep going!
Asian Boss dropping the tear inspirational stories out of nowhere! This was such an excellent piece. I really like how you gave us a narrative and something more like a short documentary. This video is a refreshing and well-crafted change from the usual interview format you deliver.
Hi Asian Boss,
I am also a Korean American adoptee. A year ago I watched this video on a whim because it came up in the algorithm. I was surprised to learn that she and I were both adopted through the same agency. I was always curious but assumed a search would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, but when I saw how easy it was for her I decided to look into it. It is now 1 year later, and I just returned from my second trip to Korea. I've met my birth mother, my 3 half siblings, my grandparents, my many aunts and uncles, and all of my cousins.
It seems crazy, but over the past year alone, I established contact with my birth mother, started learning Korean, exchanged letters, planned a trip, met my birth mother, met my grandparents, met my aunts, met my little siblings, and even lived with my family for a few weeks. If it weren't for this video, I don't think I would have started searching. I really had no idea it was so simple in this modern age. So thank you Asian Boss for creating content like this. Thank you for helping me reunite with my family, for life.
Very moving video. Her adopted parents are honorable. Good to see her biological parents are trying to get to know her. I hope they can continue to develop their relationship.
Seeing her in Hanbok got me in tears, I hope the best for her.💗
Wow... This is very touching and powerful. I hope Danielle can meet her siblings and just be happy. I'm glad she had the opportunity to meet her birth parents, unlike her friend. I really hope her friend also can do something about it... The best of wishes for both of them and for all the adoptees around the world, korean or not, who are on the search for their birth parents.
Her birth parents made me angry
The relation with her mother (foster mother), is so precious and there's clearly so much love, that I'm happy for her ❤️ Thanks for the beautiful story!
I feel so good when mother and daughter talking like a friend 😊
This video just shows family are the ones who love you and support you, not necessarily who are biologically related. So heartwarming.
My most favorite Asian Boss episode, next to the interviews with the North Koreans who escaped and now live in South Korea. I cried when the birth father came to say goodbye and how Danielle was so surprised. Keep making more episodes like this.
There are really emotional and powerful messages lie within the story, i dont expect to be so emotional and even burst into tears after watching this video. This made realize how i am so lucky to have such loving parents and make me appreciate my life even more. I wish the other adoptees can be encouraged by the ladies’ stories. Be strong! Thank you for making another amazing work, Asian Boss!
This is intense for me. My aunt was adopted from Korea in the 70s. She passed away 10 years ago due to illness. She had a similar experience of hatred from other Koreans when she came back. I miss her so much. Also I think it's important that people can have a look into their family especially for medical reasons. She battled with Polio and pneumonia and I just wish my grandparents would have been able to do more for her when they adopted her. Seeing Danielle's father is heartbreaking.
Thank you so much for including a story like this. My mother is half-Korean and an adoptee from the Korean War. We visited Korea together last year, her first time back since being adopted in 1954. We also somehow found her first orphanage in Chuncheon where they still had photo albums of her and her adopted sister.
It's such an instant gut wrenching feeling seeing other adoptees share their story. I've watched my mother deal with the specific pain and strange alienation being a foreign adoptee brings. I have so much admiration for the personal strength of adoptees.
You guys make such fantastic videos and I am so happy to have found your channel. I absolutely love hearing people's stories and getting the perspectives of actual people living in their countries. Your interviews in Korea have taught me so much! I would love to speak the language one day.
Have you ever considered making a video about Hapa (mixed) people and how they are received in respective countries? There is such an intense history regarding mixed race children, especially in post war Korea. I would be interested to hear Korean perspectives on Hapa adoptees returning to Korea.
Thank you.
Also her adopted parents are incredible!
And for the record, Caucasians do ask each other what they are... German, English, Norwegian, Slavic, French, Portuguese, Spanish, Finnish, Swedish, Swiss, Dutch. Usually if an American is asking you what you are, it's just curiosity and a fascinating conversation piece.
I know - sadly Democrats have created a victim mindset - so all minorities don't feel welcome in America. The only country on earth that truly does welcome minorities and make them a significant part of national culture.
Yuck. Double yuck. No one goes up to a white person and the first thing that comes out is "What are you?" Are you Chinese? No. Are you Japanese? No. Then what are you?
@@joeschmoe5583 #$#%%^&$$^$#%$
What a perceptive story: the interviewer was empathetic and the interviewee was so articulate. I learned so much about the trauma of finding your biological & cultural roots. The relations are so complicated. We only learn by watching their emotions to decipher what's going on. I now have a lot more empathy for the adoptees and their birth parents. What courage to face these strong and indescribable feelings!
Thank you Asian boss for giving us amazing insights and providing Danielle an opportunity to share her story ! Such a heart wrenching video and I admire these girls for being so courageous, I only wish them the best. Gosh that shot of the father leaving the airport really got me
Thibault Tresca A
I wasn’t planning on crying and I tried to hold my tears back but towards the end of the video when the father said goodbye to her at the airport...urgh, the feels struck me down!!! Great video, Asian Boss! Keep up with the amazing contents like these, more videos on social issues!
proud to be one of your subscribers, for things like this you and Kei and all the people who make videos are Asian Bosses, thank you for bringing your vision of Asia to us
This was so good! I need a tissue warning next time though.
Me too!!! They're happy tears though :')
thanks danielle for sharing your story. i am left sobbing after watching you leave your father and your mother country. your story is heart wrenching and also heart warming because you got the happy ending of finding and meeting and creating a relationship with your birth parents. you are so strong and it was a joy to watch.
I am really full with tears right now especially the end of the video meeting her dad to say goodbye unexpectedly
Seeing your comment warmed my heart! Though wavering at times, I’m definitely doing my best to stay strong ❤️
I cried too after watching the photo of her meeting her birth parents, I’m so proud of her adopted parents.
I can’t stop bawling. Such an intensely bittersweet story. Bless both of these ladies. ❤️
I feel so sad for the second interviewee. Her mother was an orphan and she wasn't able to meet with her or the father.
Hope one day that will come true
I'm french and one of my mother's friend was adopted. When I was living in Korea she went to Korea for the 2nde time of her life with her children (the first time she came was during the 90s if I'm not wrong so it was completly difderent). I was theire guide/interprete in Korea and it was so emotionnal to me, to talk about her background and all, because she's such a strong woman.. And her lovely children (who are in high school now) are really really impressive about how they can actually understand their mom.
I'd like to help more adopted korean because their story is so unique and so emotional, like while watching this video made me burst into tears haha
I think adopted foreigner in general are really really mature because they lived without knowing their parents but also with racism, and a majority grew up in really good way, intelligently and all.
I cried. Thank you Asian Boss. You never fail to share content that really makes one think.
ive watched 4 videos of these adoptee stories now and have been crying non-stop
HOT DAMN WHAT A SUPPORTIVE MOM
This filming , atrracted , and feel invloved deeply to me , watching 10times. Thanks asian boss.
Heartbreaking at the same time it's nice to know they are able to find their completeness. Not all stories end in a happy ending but the best thing is that they know the truth.
It was so good to see the dad care so much. How lucky of her to have so many people to love and be loved by
Awww, Danielle's adopted mother seems so supportive and kind.
This is so fascinating and compelling. We all need to just take it in and not judge anyone, but these young women are having an amazing and wonderful life journey, speed bumps and all . . .
Amazing story and really appreciate the courage in telling and filming an emotionally difficult topic. Kudos!
This video hits home so hard. I am an American Korean adoptee too. Thank you Danielle for sharing our story. Your experience and your feelings and thoughts about everything are like mine.
@Asian Boss
Very touching story.
The parents might be seen as abandoning their child but if you really look at this, it's clear the parents made their choice for their daughter for her to get the best medical care and to be financially better off.
It's great she was able to meet with her biological parents and talk.
It is still kind of sad that they had to blur and hide their faces. But it's understandable since they might feel a bit of shame for giving up their child all those years ago and maybe they don't want to be socially shamed by their peers and co-workers.
That whole asking of "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" is still a very uncomfortable thing to be asked about.
Even if you're a Korean born in America and lived with your birth parents, many ignorant people will ask "Where are you from?" and if you say like you were born in America, people respond with look of surprise.
That's basically a racist way of thinking and a racist question to ask, and some people genuinely don't realize this.
People need to realize that "Asian" is a very generic term much like how people generalize and say "Black" or "Latino".
It also related to how people generalize and assume that all Asians are Chinese or how some generalize that all Latino/Latina are Mexican (for example).
It all stems down to ignorance, not being exposed to a multi-cultural or a multi-ethnic community, and also not being educated enough.
At the end of the day, there's only 1 race...the human race.
People need to realize this and move on. There's no better or worse ethnicity or culture.
There's no real-world, applicable advantage or disadvantage.
It's more about who you are as a person, what you do with the resources you have around you, how well you utilize what you have, who you network with and associate with, and how you think of others and treat others.
If you grow up below the poverty line and through your life, associate with delinquents, don't go to school or not pay attention at all in school, disrespect people, take part in illegal activities, steal from people or businesses, physically hurt or abuse people, etc... It doesn't matter what ethnicity you are. You will be looked down upon by society in general and you will continue to live and be like that unless you change.
You really need to learn to respect others and make an effort as often as you can to better yourself and do things that better society.
You cannot progress in life unless you do these things.
It is not racist at all.
“Thanks” Asian Boss - stories like this are SO important and so impactful! The BBC doc series “Our World” did a similar story a couple of years ago about a Chinese girl adoptee who was abandoned on the street as a baby, then returned to meet her birth parents around age 20. Incredibly moving.
What an awesome interview! As someone who was born with a cleft palate as well, I was surprised at her surgical history - that she didn't seem to have had any surgeries until she got to the US. I know I had my first surgery when I was a few days old so I just assumed that that was the norm. I know it wasn't really the main point of the interview but I don't really hear much about other people who had cleft palates so I just found that part particularly interesting to hear. Awesome interview Danielle.
Yes because it needs to be done for baby's survival...strange they put it off like that. But Korea has changed some...
Crazy thing! I actually was adopted from China when I was 2 years old also with a cleft lip (the surgeries sucked, but I got through them).Recently found out that I am half Chinese/half Vietnamese. Currently 17 years old and turning 18 in January. This story is 100% relatable and hit me on a deep level.
For full disclosure, I am a Korean Adoptee. I first wanted to say that I appreciate Asian Boss for highlighting the issue of Korean Adoption and for Danielle for telling her unique story as a Korean Adoptee. I say unique because Korean Adoptees are often enclosed into a monolithic group where their experiences are perceived as the same when in fact the Korean adoptee story is not one story but thousands of stories. Korean Adoptees have had more outlets to tell these stories but audiences continue to create two polar narratives around this issue: the first is the mentally/emotionally challenged adoptee who finds his/her adoption to be a living hell; and second, the "savior complex" story where the adoptee is successfully integrated into his/her new culture with loving parents, sibling, etc. These two narratives do a disservice to the Adoptee community by creating us into two-dimensional actors with little nuance and subtle for the actual lives we live. These two narratives are perpetuated by all sides (i.e. those from countries who have adopted and those countries who put up their children for adoption). While I am wondering what Korean citizens think about this topic, my time in Korea has mostly shown that they have a narrow sense of adoption and continue to perpetuate these two polar narratives. I wish our stories were told with more nuance not only in forums like this but within the Korean media who often tend to gloss over the details of adoption in favor of one of the two narratives. Finally, I would like to say good luck to Danielle and her continued pursuit of her adoption story. And to those who decide to return to Korea (like I have), I wish that your stories are heard if you wish to tell them.
If you want to hear more stores about Korean Adoptees, specifically those living in Korea, please visit this podcast series: adaptedpodcastdotcom
Americans just want fellow Americans to think of themselves as American.
We are tired of the group-identity bull shit. Sorry you experience racism. Sorry that Americans adopted you. Time to buck up. Millions of children are never adopted EVEN IN THE US ITSELF.
I DONT CARE ABOUT MY ANCESTRY. IM TIRED OF PEOPLE USING THEIR BLOOD AS A REASON TO BE A VICTIM. STOP CARING ABOUT YOUR ANCESTRY AND RACE - START CARING ABOUT BEING THE HUMAN YOU WANT TO BE.
@@joeschmoe5583 Unfortunately, I have noticed that it is less about ancestry or historical affiliation and more about physical appearance and how much appearance matters to the culture. If Korean adoptees in the US all looked American, would they care as much about ancestry? Conversely, if people consistently tell you you are different because you look different, you are more likely to have an identity that has that (tiny or profound) sense of "different" in place. Then it's a natural curiosity to look for that tribe where you are not considered different at all.
@@gretagrotto5858 There is physical-appearance discrimination - and this is the root of all racism particularly in diverse, western countries - but when these groups become ethno-centric, self-segregating - and use their grievance of being the victim of discrimination to create a de facto nation within a nation - "black americans" - "Korean americans" - "Mexican americans" - this is destroying western countries.
Don't immigrate to ANY country in the world if you look different than the majority of the population and worried that people are going to treat you differently. You must assimilate as much as possible and work to support yourself. That is not what is happening.
@@joeschmoe5583 I agree. I also suspect these groups are created, in part, because tribe-focused individuals want to claim a place within the US where they can feel they belong since (misguided) Americans claim that they don't belong. The emotional need to belong is more powerful in some individuals than others, as a matter of biology and upbringing. (It often explains sports fanaticism as well as religious and political zeal.) While working to eliminate discrimination is a necessary start, we should all learn where we can get our needs met without making matters worse for ourselves. For these particular folks (not all of them), telling them to focus on who they are doesn't really address the problem - i.e., the need for a sense of belonging.
My dad is a Korean German Adoptee and I just feel like he is completely German. I think now (he is almost 50 years old) he has not any feelings of meeting his ‚real‘ parents. We do not know if they are even alive. So I grew up very German. My mother is Korean but she came here at a very young age with my grandparents, but she does not even speak Korean anymore. I look full asian(obviously) but since I did not want to be different and since I do not really have a second culture of which I could be proud of, I almost rejected my korean background. But you need to accept yourself. (BTS helped a lot 😂)
Well that is all probably based on pain and fear and sadness all tucked away or just not spoken of. It would not be so bad for you to learn about your other culture. I wish I had learned German...and I wish I could go to Germany...and also Ireland as those would be my roots...
As an American this really made me reflect. I studied history in college and in high school (even college for most people) we don't really understand the impact our country has had on the world and other peoples lives. We are still living with the effects of the Korean war. The entire country is separated, the families who's lives and livelihoods were torn apart, the folks who had to leave their homes or give up their children. All that being said, it's wild to see that person in the white house now not treating the threat of war seriously.
2016brownie: It's not really fair to blame america for the continued separation of the korean countries. The war is over, but the Kim-family have continued the separation.
And while war is not desirable, it might be a necessary evil to bring the Kim-family down and out of power.
Sometimes there's just no other recourse than war. And I think the previous administrations complete unwillingness to risk war only served to help the Kim-family retaining their iron grip of power and continually keeping the entire north korean population as a hostage.
I completely agree that the continued separation is a political decision, but I think it's important to realize what caused this incident in the first place. I also think it's important to consider America's role in both helping create the conflict that led to the separation and it's influence in helping helping maintain the divide or support reunification since.
I'm disheartened to think that 'war is the only option'. I would hope the lessons of WW2 acted as an important message to the world of the both mutually assured destruction that nuclear war leads to, but also to the devastation that regular war and conflict inflict. I think some countries like Japan (although their history with Korea isn't lost on me) stance on nonviolence have been exemplary in this area, and the growth and support behind multinational nonprofits and peacekeeping organizations would be helping towards moving us toward that goal.
However, even I have to admit that this strategy has not been effective in curtailing the horrors and crimes of the North Korean regime. I can only hope war isn't the solution towards ending those abuses.
2016brownie: Anti-warfare politics is not ideal at all. But on the other hand, war should not be entered into lightly. A major issue with U.S foreing politics has been that they enter into armed conflicts on a whim without seeing them through to the end.
If you go to war, you need to stay committed and fight to the finish. Otherwise you'll just protract the armed hostilities. But you shouldn't avoid war at any cost either. That's why North Korea can continue to do as it pleases right now, because no one is standing up to them.
I'm in a similar situation! My older sister and I were adopted from China into a small town white family. Around when I was in my teens, my parents took us back to China to see where we came from, and we were very grateful for the experience (We got yelled at a lot though, too). However, adoption is complicated for the adoptee. There's so many factors you have to consider to ensure they can fit in as best as possible, but that's not always possible to achieve.
As an adoptee, this video hits me hard. Beautifully done and informative! Thank you.
I wonder how many times Danielle’s birth father thought about the baby girl he let go, especially after he and her bio mother had their second daughter. It must have been so hard for them. I’m very glad they were able to reunite and have kept in contact.
*I have never related more to an adoption story in my life.*
Almost everything I can relate too. Especially with the cleft lip and pallet.
Thanks Asian Boss, your about the only thing to make this grown man cry. To the two asian queens, you are beautiful. Stay strong.