She Developed Dissociative Identity Disorder After Years Of Trauma
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- Today on Unfiltered Stories, discover the profound journey of Elizabeth Gerrity, who endured years of torment, neglect, and unrelenting physical abuse. As a means of self-protection amidst the trauma, Beth developed Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), leading to the creation of a complex system of alternate personalities.
#mentalhealth #survivorstories #trauma
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Complying with extreme abuse in early childhood has A LOT to do with dissociative identity disorder. I believe her story is 100% true.
I’m her “daughter” she tried killing me when I was 7 months old. Don’t believe anything she says she suffers from bipolar and dissociative identity
Your idiotic
I remember waking up in the bed...(had to be 5-8 yrs old, ) surrounded by ppl in chairs...i dont remember anything of what happened but i started having flasbacks in my early 20's...at 38 now, i do know i was drugged...my healing journey started years ago and i remember certain things that happened to me as a child. Im now a true crime junkie, and real stories junkie...to help me remember, (less of a shock when i DO get the full visual of what happened to me) to learn that alot ppl on this planet are evil, to keep me on toes....
This story isn't unbelievable. It's reality for most ppl on this planet.
I'm sorry this happened to you...over and over again...i wish you nothing but a life full of peace and self love. Thank you for sharing your truth with us...
Your awareness and description of what happened to you and WHY (our whys makes us wise) and your "disorder" just validate what ive had in my heart....
Thats is, innocent, good ppl at heart, will do anything to hold onto SELF...even if the brain HAS TO dissociate...its fighting for SELF!!!
Yes, DID is a gift. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. ☀
I went through repetetive childhood abuse as well. I hope everyone in my situation will heal.
Thank you, kind soul.
It was very selfless for you to give up your children in order for them to have a chance at life.
Yeah, it's clear that all of her trauma have made her loose it completely. Her soul is completely dead. You can tell through her eyes and also by how she talks about everything like it was weathertalk... 😔
I’m her “daughter” and she didn’t do anything selfless. She tried killed me and her mental illness doesn’t allow her to accept that. She has no goodness in her
@NikkiFarley-ge8xo really? Are you okay?
@@NikkiFarley-ge8xoI'm sorry you had to go through that. How old were you when she put you up for adoption? I'm a little confused now.
@@isabellapettersson9047 Thats called dissociation. Sometimes it makes you feel nothing or feel weird emotions when talking about abuse. It's usually a temporary symptom.
Elizabeth I see a strong lady who has lived a life that you never chose. I live in Scotland, diagnosed with CPTSD from prolonged trauma throughout childhood, teenage years onto adulthood. We are very strong and clever that we disassociated from our real life, we survived with wounds buried deep inside us. I now have physical pain and severe fatigue etc which has been connected to my trauma.
How cruel these people were too you, you must have been petrified for your life daily. I'm so sorry. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I’m so sorry to hear how you’ve been treated. You have a good heart and I pray for your healing and that God will bless you with the peaceful and joyful life that you’ve always deserved 🙏🏿💖
Thank you. 💐
So sorry for the trauma you suffered, Elizabeth. I know I can’t understand, not having gone through something similar, but I just don’t see how people can bring themselves to do such evil acts-even if they were abused. I’m glad you found a way to survive what your mother and others did to you, and that you ended the cycle of abuse. I pray you continue to heal and find peace and solace.🩵
It seems like folks are missing the title, she has D.I.D. formerly referred to as Multiple Personalities. From what I understand it's a way to distance oneself from horrific trauma that may be impossible to overcome, it's a flight or flight mechanism, survive. Im not saying she created her own reality to cope, but it certainly would track with such abuse. I don't mean to make it sound like her entire life or reality is false, but it's really hard to understand. So many comments, people are shocked and confused like WTF did I just hear!? So much going on, so much trauma, so much to filter through to try and comprehend. In my opinion, she experienced immense abuse, neglect, and trauma at such a young age and for so long, and as a way to survive she developed D.I.D. and I just don't know how she can decipher her truth, what she remembers, how she sorted her trauma with reality. Parts sound impossible, but we know that people are capable of mind blowing evil, so it's quite possible there's a lot of truth here, just distorted depending on who was driving the bus while trying to deal with this level of abuse. People do evil shit, and when you start involving woo woo shit, voodoo, sacrifice, satanic shit, stuff gets really MFN real quick. Ugh. Crazy. Poor soul, I how she's found peace
I hope you have found peace Elizabeth, I'm so sorry for all you've endured. Love to you,
I was abused and neglected as a child too. Sending love ❤
WHAT???!!!! People are SICK! 🤬
None of that was your fault. God bless you and give the shame & guilt of that Satanic Ritual Abuse back to the abusers. You're a strong victorious survivor. 🌻
The world is sick
Yup more than just a little. The truth is still greater and more wonderful than all this sh*t. The Redeemer is here, patient, understanding more than we can and available to restore what our enemies have done, including one of the most confusing and sabotaging ones - shame.
@carlie5894 Shame & guilt feel like a heavy coat. We need to shed those "coats," unless the Creator has bestowed a season of that to correct us.
@BethGerrity-21akjaq 🌻
@BethGerrity-21akjaq I understood, and held no ill-will. The beauty of your response was an answer to prayer for me, today.
@BethGerrity-21akjaq A bouquet of happiness for you 💐.
This is very hard to watch. The editing. It’s like it cuts after every couple words. I’m only 4:00 in and I’ve had to rewind it about 20 times trying to understand what’s going on. Smh
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Elizabeth. You did great in relating a whole lotta stuff in such a short amount of time! You have "grace" and "miracle" all over you. As someone who has been working through DID it's so encouraging to see someone shine with such sweetness. I've run across a number of people who like to wear their condition as a badge to show how "special" - actually superior demanding accolades, and my quest has been to be the one person our Creator beautifully designed to reveal a distinct aspect of Him to complement his precious body (all of us receiving his wonderful redemption). I know he made only one of me so have been blessing these parts and dismissing the ungodly ones that got in with all the trauma and vulnerability. I lived in the SFV a long time, too! but about a decade ahead of you. Much continued Shalom!!
You are right to about the company you keep bad company corrupts good morals..May you continue to be healthy and loving. You are definitely doing a good job with sharing thank you 💞
what did I just listen to?!! 🥺
The truth of SRA and how to overcome it.
I got lost and the cooking and eating the child part 👀👀👀
Probably satanic ritual abuse
I believe her,every bit. You have to remember the brain keeps you from trauma that's to severe to cope with. Her memory is doing it's best to tell the story or stories of her abuse. She is very traumatized. Jesus please send her peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray she turns to GOD, i pray for her strength and endurance to stay well. She is very strong and courageous. May God bless you 🌹✨🌹
BethGerrity-21akjaq you're welcomed ❣️🌹❣️
My name is Beth Gerrity. I'm the one interviewed in the video above. It has helped me and given me an opportunity to reply to questions that people may not always be comfortable asking in person. May all beings benefit from my communication, I pray.
It's very difficult to understand why people may've done what actions they may've done. Especially since it's very difficult to understand what others may or may not know, what their intentions may be, what their abilities and/or inabilities may be, what their histories may be, what was done to them, and/or any other context. And this may all mean that things don't exist the way they may appear. Things may appear to be independent, when they're actually dependent upon many factors. For example, my complying with abuse may've been secondary to decades of life-threatening abuse since I was one year old, including ritualistic sacrifice of me, and a dissociative identity disorder, in addition to a Traumatic Brain Injury. Continued abuse of me (mostly by poisoning of me) since then, by strangers mostly, may've been a result of slander of me and emotional manipulation of others. All of which may've spread the suffering that I've tried to stop by speaking about the context of the whole story. While efforts to make me suffer haven't stopped. Making me now know that abuse of me is wrong.
A large component of my trauma was conditioning of me. By life-threatening abuse. (Starvation, poisoning, induced seizures, cutting, and gang rape.) To make me comply with abuse. Habitually. Because of conditioned views. That I was powerless. That everyone could do whatever they wanted to me. And that I couldn't have any better. But I began trying to destroy these wrong views in me. After the removal of my kids taught me that harm of me harmed my kids. But it took years (and a lot of rape) before I got better. Which was possible for me because so many people have helped me. Including those who taught me disciplines of mind, namely loving kindness, compassion, and peace. To be happy and free from suffering.
I was disabled by the injury of abuse. I have DID and a TBI. Meaning that I didn't know how to care well for myself. I lived with my mother who I thought was evil, but I didn't remember abuse by her, then. Because of dissociation. I did move away from my mother to another state to protect my kids, though. Which I tried my most to do while being so ill-equipped. A little later, some men were influenced by my mother to hurt me in ways (like rape and torture) that would make my compliant personality surface. (Which took 3 days of abuse to do.) In order for me to do what my mother told those men to tell me to do. Which was: to hurt my kids on camera. (So that she could later show videos of me complying with abuse. In order to manipulate persons to abuse and poison me more.) I wasn't aware of all this because of dissociation. But I woke up one morning with an awareness that I did something to the girl I gave birth to. I ran to her and asked myself what I did. Then I saw a vision of my hand opening a small bottle of saline solution. And I suspected that I gave it to the girl. So, I took her to the hospital, told people what I thought happened, and voluntarily gave custody to the state. That all resulted in the kids I had being adopted by someone. Which was very helpful. But also, very painful. A few years later I moved to a state where many men raped me and almost killed me, too. With forced injections of meth. Until one day, I woke knowing (without remembering) that one guy told a personality that he'd rape me with a friend of his, the following night. So, I left town six hours later. I moved to another state. Where I had complex PTSD. Also, I met my mother there after being away from her for 9 years. (I didn't remember how evil she was. Because my mind was messed up from all the rape, from DID, and a TBI.) My mother was retiring at the time. And she bought a manufactured home on the condition that I live with her in it. Which I did. But my doing that made me aware of a terror I had of her. That motivated her to pay me $500 to move out. Around that time, I was approved for Section 8 HUD. (Which was needed because my only income was SSI disability from $500-$800 a month.) I found an apartment and my mother drove me to it. I got a key two weeks before I moved into the apartment. Soon after, I bought furniture etc. At some time during the process, my mother copied my key. (I had left it on a desk.) Without my awareness or permission. A little after I moved into the apartment, my mother came and seizure-raped me with an ex-boyfriend. After I went to sleep. So, that's what happened because of my disabilities, my vulnerabilities, and my poverty. I'm better now than I was then. But, influenced people have been poisoning me for 19 years now. Because my mother is obsessed with me. The psycho bitch from hell.
I've been reluctant to communicate about my experiences of abuse. Because I didn't want to disturb anyone. With a recount of abuse so extreme. But my experiences of abuse were many more than what was spoken about in this video. Following is what I remember now:
1. When I was one, I was beginning to walk. And I was visiting my dad. When he was in Seattle, WA. Where he was staying at the house where my aunt and her husband lived. My aunt's husband was a drug dealer. His daughter, my cousin, gave me one hit of acid (from a zip lock baggy full of paper hits of acid.) Which I liked. A lot. Before she left me alone in her room. There, I searched for and eventually found the zip lock baggy. Before I took from the bag every hit of acid into my mouth. Afterwards, I saw a deity of wrathful compassion. He was a blue and black hologram. With a necklace of skulls. And rings around his ankles. That rang like drums when he walked. After a while, everything dissolved. Later, my aunt's husband with my Irish and drunk dad's permission photographed, with a movie camera, little dogs having sex with me. (Most Irish aren't like my dad.) Before he then proceeded to sell me to two white drug addicts and later one black guy. For unsupervised sodomy sex. The white guys were savagely disrespectful. And the black guy was violent. He left me bloody and inflamed on the floor when he was done. Later, my drunk dad found me, when he was probably impaired by drugs, too. Before he ran and got a long knife. Which he put it in my rectum and cut through my perinium. Presumably, to hide the blood so he wouldn't get in trouble. But what it did is make the blood flow. Which scared him so much that he ran away. Sometime later, my cousin came home to find me. She called my mother and asked her what she should do. After talking some, she was advised to put TSP soap (that was on the washer.) Onto the bleeding flesh. This stopped the bleeding. But it did so in a way so painful that I lost consciousness. After that, my mother flew from California (where we lived) to Seattle. There I saw her as blissfully ecstatic about the violent harm of me. She and I then flew back to California. One or more days after that, she gave me a bottle filled with red wine and perhaps an anesthetic. I passed out. And when I regained consciousness, I was in a plastic baby cradle on the dining room table. While she was at the stove in the kitchen. Cooking in butter the flesh of my perinium. That had been cut from me when I was passed out. When it was done cooking, she fed me a little (which I spit out) before she ate the rest of it. (I later heard my mother tell her sister that it was the best meat she ever ate.) Since then, I almost always bleed when going to the bathroom.
2. My mother would starve me most of the time. (This made me have more seizures.) Then, make me eat a lot, give me laxatives, and then enemas of bleach and Comet with scalding or freezing water. While calling me a dirty, stupid, selfish, slut. And yell at me and beat me for releasing. Until I eventually learned to hold it all in. Until it was absorbed. This made me not like food. It also made it hard for me to go to the bathroom. For much of my life.
3. I would fight efforts to rape me when I was two or three. By crying and thrashing wildly. My parents stopped this by suffocating me until I passed out. (I thought this killed me when I was little.) Before sodomy of me. This was conditioning that taught me to comply. With efforts to rape me. Also, involved in this was mental/spiritual abuse. When the rapist would mentally project suffering (like shame, anger, and/or powerlessness.) Before rape of me. (Which felt like a blame of me for the suffering.) And, if I didn't get up on my knees, with my bare butt in the air. After I felt the projected suffering. I'd be suffocated until I passed out. One thing this taught me was. To take the blame for others' suffering. Which may've seemed like a bad thing. But eventually it may've helped me. To know a power over my own mind. (While blaming me may've increasingly made my parents be. Powerless over their own minds.)
4. I was only fed or touched. As a part of abuse. The rest of the time, I was neglected. To teach me that my life and everything good in my life. Came with abuse. What this did, however. Is teach me to not like food or touch.
5. When I was three, my mother gave my half-brothers to their dad. Presumably so she could abuse me without witnesses and/or opposition. Around that time, she put me into a big green army trunk that she cut a hole into. This trunk was in an empty apartment that a friend of hers had lent her, most likely without knowing what my mother was going to do with it. Then, she left the apartment. And didn't come back for a week. I'm guessing she did that because she was an avid reader who may've read something about "Harlow's Monkeys" (who were mentally damaged for life after being put into solitary confinement.) Which is recognized as torture by the United Nations. That is what it felt like to me. Which is why I thrashed so violently in the trunk that my blood stained its interior. I think it was so painful because solitary confinement is a break from a connection with all beings. That we need to live. To compensate for this, my mind eventually broke open. In a way not reparable. So that I could feel with my mind a connection with all beings in space. After leaving the trunk, however. This connection felt like a torturous violation of my body, mind, and soul. When anyone came near me. So painful, it was that I reacted by banging my head on the wall, floor, or whatever. For hours. Until I was alone again. Just like Harlow's monkeys and some people in prison. I think my mother had planned on checking on me on the weekends after leaving me there for a month. But after seeing how damaged I was after two weeks she took me out. One realization that came to me, though. Which wasn't bad. In any way at all. Was that my suffering isn't who I am. It was this realization that has made me able to survive trauma that everyone may not be able to survive.
6. My mother brought me to an orgy in Death Valley, California. when I was probably three and a half or four. Where she injected me with seizure-inducing drugs. So that I would shake while she sat on my face and a number of different men sodomized me. Later, someone from the orgy informed her that a man who sodomized me had gonorrhea. So, she the obtained the medicine, tetracycline, from the hospital where she worked and gave it to me. It turned my teeth a permanent yellow.
7. When I was thirteen or fourteen, my mother and I visited Mount Rainier. Where she paid for us to spend the night in an empty train car. There were no locks. And, in the night, a man entered the car we were in. Being almost always prepared to rape me, my mother injected me with seizure-inducing drugs she had. Before she sat on my shaking face and the stranger man sodomized me.
Experiences like the ones listed above are why I didn't know that I could refuse the men who told me they'd hurt me if I didn't hurt my kids.
Recently, my mother may've reacted to my good fortune, by exposing me to an especially harsh poison. With help from supporters of her abuse. Which debilitated me for probably two weeks. To her I say, "I will always talk about what you did to me MORE after you poison me. I won't stop. You cannot stop me ever. The more you try, the more I'll tell the world about you."
Im so sorry you had to live this life but your so strong to have Survived. A lot of people may watch this and wont believe so much could happen to one person because their brain wont be able to absorb it. Dont listen to the negative comments. Your brave and beautiful and you are valid. I would be willing to listen if you need to talk but it can take awhile for me to respond and that's due to sevier anxiety. Your experience will help others not feel so alone. I think you should make more videos on your channel. It could be helpful for all of you. And for others💪💞 i will be your first subscriber😉
I don't remember the following experiences. But I think they may've happened because other personalities gave a knowledge of them to me. The following actions aren't remembered as mine. But my other personalities are dissociated parts of me. So, no one else did them.
One night, in 1995, I had gone to sleep. My old Irish American boyfriend came to my apartment. (Most Irish aren't like him.) He knocked on the door. And another personality of mine opened the door. (I was conditioned in childhood to comply with abuse as another personality. After I went to sleep.) He and a man friend of his came into my apartment. The man friend said that I didn't know how to care for my kids. (Which was true.) And he told me that they thought I should molest my kids. I said, "No." The man friend said that if I didn't, they would hurt me. I said, "I don't care." Then, they proceeded to abuse me. While recording me on a video camera. After bringing my nineteen-month-old son into the room. To watch. (By the way, that's partly why he's so messed up now.) For three nights.
The men may've given me drugs, presumably from my mother. Since I have some awareness of my having been intellectually impaired. But I have no idea. (Because many of my personalities dissociate after poisoning.)
The men began each night asking me if I'd molest my kids. I said, "No" in the beginning of each of the three nights. Then, they'd abuse me. Afterwards, they'd ask me again if I'd molest my kids. I said, "No" after abuse on the first two nights. I didn't, after abuse of me on the third night.
Following is what the abuse of me was:
1. The first night the boyfriend rammed a broom handle up my butt. Again, and again. So that it became bloody.
2. The second night, many men came to my apartment. And gang-raped me. While calling me a fat haoli bitch. Who wanted to be fucked.
3. The third night, the boyfriend rammed an active electric cattle-prod up my butt. Again, and again. Until it gave me a seizure. That made me fall forwards and hit my head on the wall.
The reason I didn't say, "No" to molestation after the third night of abuse. Is because my having an induced seizure made another personality surface. Who was compliant with abusers. Usually, by way of self-hatred and self-destruction. Her name's "Ma." I think Ma sat on the face of my son. Later the boyfriend told me to perform oral sex on my seven-month-old daughter, while fondling myself. In a way that could be recorded by a video camera in the kitchen. I'm sorry if I did any of these actions.
All of the above experiences and actions were so painful for me. That I dissociated them. Meaning that my consciousness blocked them out. And they were experienced by other personalities who think childhood abuse of me is still happening. So they were reliving childhood abuse while being abused again. Which is why they thought they'd be killed if they didn't do what they were told to do. In a way like it was wanted. These were all expressions of severe distress.
I didn't know about all of the above experiences or actions. By my personalities. I didn't even know I had other personalities. But I did give my kids to the state. As soon as I thought they weren't safe with me. (Because all kinds of weird and curious awareness of big and awful suffering was really bothering me, then. And I thought I gave my daughter saline solution to drink.) When, I'm sure, it was the same month that the said actions occurred. I'm sorry if I did any of those actions.
An awareness of the said experiences and actions started to come to me. In the following seven years. Which is why I left Hawaii. And why I moved to the mainland USA. Also, this is why people poisoned me. For 19 years. So that I could learn. That hurting me is wrong. And that it makes no sense to punish people for suffering. When no one wants to suffer. The only reason we do, is because we don't know any better. That's why education works. Almost as much as loving kindness and compassion.
I tried my best to care for my kids when I had them. And I expressed a care and a wish to protect them. To the best of my ability. Accordingly, it seems there is a growing interest in caring for and protecting abused people in the world. I feel I have made a small contribution to this. I say to everyone, especially, those on Kauai and in the Mainland USA. I feel a little discomfort from poisoning that is inevitable, isn't it? But basically, I'm doing very well. So please relax and be at ease.
I didn't want to give up my kids in a big way. But I also did in a bigger way. Because their presence made me remember big and awful suffering of my being abused. And I wasn't equipped or aware of how to care for anyone. Because I didn't know that it was wrong to hurt me. And this is why me and my kids were abused. I've since learned much about caring for and protecting myself. Peacefully. While my kids may've been raised in a home more suited to them than mine. Which has fueled my belief that we can and may all get better, be happy, and free from suffering. For the benefit of all beings.
My experience with all of this has exposed me to treatment of women. That's not seen as fair, by me. For example, it seems to me that there's a view of women as obliged to suffer abuse. Meaning that it doesn't matter if they're abused. So much by so many. Any and all damage of women is considered to be a matter of course. And if they become disabled by said abuse, it doesn't matter. If they try to stop more abuse, they deserve more abuse. With absolutely no appreciation of the care expressed by women. And with a view of their sacrifice as obligatory. Not to mention a view that. Women should serve men before they care for their own children. (Especially if they're white.) We all can do better than that. Like many Native North Americans. In my experience and observation.
How disgusting
I’m so sorry❤
Im sorry😢ty for sharing
LORD HAVE MERCY!!!!!
He does, in all ways.
So the babysitter just admitted and told her mom she was electrocuting her to eat her???? And her mom said go ahead? And she remembered all this from age 3??? I believe something happened to her but not sure about all the details.... Memories can be easily influenced and warped. Her brain injury could be an issue with distortion too. But I think she really thinks this happened.
Plus she’s been diagnosed as delusional. I am also curious to know how they got away with murdering and eating the other baby.
There is a cycle of craziness when people are connected by fear and being controlled. sounds impossible unless your generations are familiar with it
@@tinamurphy1234It happens globally, daily. There are rituals being performed as I type. You need to WAKE UP.
I dont believe it either
@@ceceprincess4758 Your eyes will soon be opened by the MILLIONS of survivors who tell nearly identical accounts.
For anyone who disbelieves this woman, you need to listen to Katy (Dylan) Groves and many other survivors of SRA. Svali is another survivor who can fill in the blanks of "why?". Hint: the root of this is the "Catholic Church."
13:02 Is no-one picking up on this? Hmmm....
picking up on what . I didn't catch it.Due tell
Diagnosed as delusional
@@somethinggood-sy1ed you seem to use that one adjective to discredit her altogether. You’ve been delusional before, we all have in temporary circumstances, not dealing with reality.. That’s not her identity. It truly is difficult for those who haven’t experienced it to believe this shit is a reality, unfortunately it is.. many of us have experienced this or similar abuse extended periods throughout our early years, which is not the same as being whole first and then dealing with a trauma. these things happen in our formative years and you may have also try to cope anyway you can if you had been subjected similarly
That mean shes lying
@@ceceprincess4758 You're not very bright. It's possible to be both delusional and diagnosed with DID. She's not "lying." You're PROJECTING.
I am sorry u had lived this way
This account is one of the worst ever. I am so sorry to think of all she has been through and yet come out the other side as an empathetic human.
🙏❤️😞
What IN THEE entire F $#@!!!!!!
Horrifying!
How can this Woman still laugh?
I so worry for the human race.
@jo-annahicks3324 I'm happy because kind intentions have made me know of a higher nature in me. And a related freedom from the psychosis of my abusers, enabled me to consider the positions of those who may listen to me. Meaning that my efforts to ease the pain of their hearing about my trauma, by my laughing at it, may've reduced reactions by them of hurting me more.
I think the whole thing about you being her mother reincarnated is total bull she came up with as an excuse to abuse you. Please stop making excuses for this woman.. mother or not as a third point of view she is vile and evil and you need to release her from your life entirely.
I see you still blaming yourself for things that where never your fault and still making excuses for the behavior of an evil and psychopathic woman. Please don’t do that.
You deserve to be happy and free from that suffering.
Thank you so much for this response. She is vile and evil she is my biological mother and how she is she’s speaking of saying she “gave” us away after feeding me contact lense solution. We were TAKEN FROM HER not GIVEN. She isn’t capable and is psychopathic. My brother was traumatized of baths when we were taken from her and watching this now makes me realize why
@@NikkiFarley-ge8xoim pretty sure this person is talking about your grandma the abuser. Im sorry for your hurt but this poor lady gave you 2 away and in doing so lost her babys to protect you. I pray you find it in your heart to forgive her. She didnt want to hurt you💞 I hope your able to heal. I know I dont know her but if she didn't care she could have kept you and you wouldn't have been safe. She has a lot of healing to do.
@@NikkiFarley-ge8xoShe is mentally ill and can’t take care of herself. Was hurting you the right thing to do? No, absolutely not but she put you up for adoption for your own safety. She didn’t want to ever hurt you again. You’ve gotten a chance at life with a loving family. Please do your research on DID and trauma responses.
Wow. So sad.
People are so evil
People are evil, pure, and everything in-between.
I’m not trying to be mean but is it even possible to remember all of this at 3years old?
I was thinking the same thing. Her daughter commented on here saying she's lying
Many people remember vivid things from that young, if you're developing DID it enhances your memory capability.
I saw a video yesterday by a scientist who explained that adrenaline makes people remember vividly.
@@AkjaqGuinn-beth That totally makes sense. I have vivid scenes in my head if certain key thing at a very young age, and that would be logical. My brother remembers things younger than I do!!
Listen to how she says I gave up my kids then oh I lost my kids. Yes we were taken from this psychopath
May I ask, "What are you basing your views of me as a "psychopath" on?" You left me at seven months old. When you didn't know a whole lot about what was going on. Your brother was 19 months old at the time. So, he didn't know a lot, either. Could it be that your stated view is a reaction to things said by my mother? And/or your adopted mother? If so, it may be helpful to wonder what reason they would have for saying such things. About a woman who was disabled by injury. Without any obvious support. Who was seen as obliged to suffer. For having been vulnerable to abuse. Well, being vulnerable isn't the same as being weak. So, I can handle. With a knowledge of who I am. Who I am is someone who's committed. With my heart, mind, and soul. To honor of Unity. Like I have been for all of my life. Before you were even born. So, as a reply to your written view of me. I'll share what really happened. Because you obviously don't know. How much I cared.
I took you to the neighbor, told her that I thought I poisoned you, and asked her to take us to Wilcox hospital. I didn't have to do that. I did because I cared. The neighbor was kind to take us to the hospital where she worked. Once there, I spoke to a lady from CPS on the phone and told her that I thought I poisoned you. I didn't have to do that. I did because I cared. The CPS lady asked me if I wanted to voluntarily give you to the state of Hawaii. I said yes. I didn't have to do that. I did because I cared. Then she told me I could select a foster mother from a list of names. I chose your foster mother. I didn't have to do that. I did because I cared.
After that, my old Irish American boyfriend gave videos of the torture of me and the hurt of the kids to my landlord. (Probably because my mother told him to. After having been influential in the recorded abuse.) The landlord tried to help me and the kids I had by giving the videos to CPS. This was very kind and helpful. Because it contributed to my kids being cared for better and my learning how to care for me. That was why CPS relinquished my voluntary consent so that the kids could be taken from me.
In my understanding, someone may've paid someone at CPS to refrain from helping me and to arrange for the adoption of the kids by a foster mother. (The CPS worker, Aggie, told me that she did what she did to me. Because she had to make money. Did Donna pay her to deny me?)
All of this was very painful for me. But I tolerated it. I didn't have to do that. I did because I cared. I even voluntarily signed a document relinquishing my parental rights, on the condition that your foster mother adopt you. (Since she could care for you. SO MUCH BETTER than me.) Even though there was no evidence of abuse or poisoning done to you by me.
Was the extensive testing of you, at Wilcox. Like an MRI, a urinalysis, and blood tests. Arranged by Donna? With a view of me as criminal? And/or an effort to keep you to herself? If so, that doesn't bother me now. Because her having you may've been beneficial. For you and for me. But it really didn't feel good. At the time. What I see it as now, though. Is a disrespect for motherhood. And I really don't think that's good for any kids. Of any mother. Case in point, that may be why. I haven't seen much integrity from you. What I've seen from you looks like shame. In your CZcams comments. And your Instagram videos. When you could barely talk. Because you were obviously so stoned on pot. In places, like Donna's bathroom. And I don't know what was wrong with you. To be posing in a G strap, with an alien head tattooed on your butt cheek. I understand integrity as self-respect. That may not have been. Apparently taught to you. But that's not my problem.
My leaving home for the first time. To protect you from my mother. Was terrifying. Because I was sheltered and disabled. Without a knowledge of how to cook, how to eat, how to provide for myself, how to socialize, and/or how to protect myself. And there was reason for me to stay at home. My mother paid for everything. The little food she gave me, housing, utilities, transportation, clothing, etc. And I didn't have to do anything. All I did was watch TV and sometimes spend time with your father. But I left all of that. With so much terror and inability. To protect you. That's the powerful love of a mother.
You weren't born on or before your due date. And a midwife-friend told me that may not have been good for you. So, I induced labor with castor oil like she suggested. But I wasn't dilated. With a belief that I had to get you out, I pushed anyway. So, my cervix was damaged by your birth. And, since then, I've had a prolapsed uterus. All of which may've traumatized you, I thought. Because you cried constantly. If I wasn't holding and nursing, you. Which resulted in my nursing you 24/7, without a minute break. For the first month of your life. That's the powerful love of a mother. And you call me a psychopath? Because, I think, you didn't learn to respect motherhood. I'm not that unlucky.
Native North American cultures, like mine, are traditionally matriarchal. What that means is that most people in them know mothers as having a priority of caring for and protecting children. (Everyone is a child of a mother.) So, when mothers are abused, people take action to protect mothers. And, if a mother isn't able to care for and protect her children, people know it's because something is wrong. For the mother and the children. People know it's not because the mother doesn't care. In my experience and observation.
I didn't listen to that, no... it's not possible....
She really needs HELP
She needs unconditional support.
You need Jesus to help heal you from past trauma
Absolutely, and he has been helping her! It’s not a quick snap of the fingers because the web of deceit was so in so deeply even as her God-designed personality and soul where under mind consistently in those very fall vulnerable years. Psalm 139 Is a most wonderful passage of identification and comfort. There are other passages that reveal he understands even this condition, he made it available as a temporary coping mechanism.
Another scripture I know he has allowed me to personalize “He drew me out of many waters” 🌸
Amen we can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens Us.
Yes
@@ceceprincess4758 You're a Christian? Calling a traumatized SRA survivor a liar?
You NEED to mind your own business and let however they want to and you NEED to stop telling people they NEED to do things :) 🤡
This is the first story I don’t believe
Good for you. Have you recalled all your own trauma? I don't think so. This story is mild compared to others. This happens globally, daily. It is Satanic Ritual Abuse, and culling/eating infants is a major part of it. WAKE UP.
When you are traumatized (and you will be, at some point), you may not be believed. It's a discrediting of someone's life that is so obscene.
You could’ve edited that comment one more time so that it didn’t exist at all. Are you looking for people to back you up? You need validation? You’re on the wrong CZcams channel and it is dangerous for someone like you to have access to these injured people who deserve support, not your armchair psychologist opinion.
@@mfdinak Well this lady daughter is in the comment section saying she abused them and she's lying
@@MzRealrightThe daughter could easily be lying, if she's been influenced by the sra group.
I don't know. Are these stories made up? Some of them seem extremely exaggerated 😒
So, because it's horrific, it must be made up? They have DID. That only happens with extreme prolonged abuse before the age of 9, I believe. If this person is lying, they're damn good at it.
It takes extreme trauma to create DID. Stories like this aren't far-fetched, just mainly kept in psychology books and studies. We have the internet now.
it's true, and it's so difficult the only way you survive is to "keep starting all over again" when you are being shamed for not eliciting the correct responses you're supposed to give. It occurs when traumas begin prior to about 6-7 years old. A coping mechanism. Evil is real. People's desire for power/control enables them to do things they wouldn't do if they were healthy in their souls. It's not fun and it's not for attention but a condition that may be worked through if pursuing wholeness.
there are ungodly practices that go on for many generations and get glossed over and swept under. Ugliness and shame keep these things hidden. And when people DONT believe you, you have to try harder to figure out what's normal. They sound extreme and they are. Unfortunately lots of this ugliness is sicker than what you see in the movies. All it takes is a few subtle lies to believe you have entitlement to use others.
This channel is NOT FOR YOU
Im not sure about this story
There are a lot of edits/cuts. It's choppy.
@BethGerrity-21akjaq oh dang. I'm sorry about that then. The internet is full of misleading people. My apologies.😊 Thanks for sharing your story.
She doesn't have to prove you anything, whether you are sure or not...
@@Coffee.with.Hemingway Thank you.
What the hell am I listening to? This needs to be a longer video. She's going way too fast. How can you still be being abused at 34 when it started from 2 or 3 yrs old?!? 9ne would think Once you get grown you get away and let your mother rot in hell. I would need more details. Not about abuse specifically but how she stayed around her
Trauma bonds
Easy to say, extremely difficult to do. She did convey a whole lot and just a few minutes, which is amazing. I could follow it because experienced some of the same.. You put different experiences into “ cubbies “ Those wooden boxes they have in schools or post offices. Then you move on to a new reality where you can think more clearly. You’ve been made to grow up super fast before your time and obedient Well, still holding a bunch of cards you don’t really know what to do with. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to be comfortable with the familiar in order to survive.. Beth has done amazing work. Grace and miracle are all over her
Yes, you move from situation to situation
There is a survivor named Svali who can explain the psychic terror her mother visited upon her. Satanists travel telepathically, and can, and have deleted survivors. You need to listen more carefully.
@@carlie5894 Yes, compartmentalization. I learned to do that as a child. However, Beth's mother was/is attacking her telepathically. See: Svali Speaks Again.
Maybe big maybe the story is part of her dissociative disorder manifesting, we can’t tell what’s true. Though the abuse is real. How can we tell the narrative is real and occurred the way she narrated and not part of her disorder
That sounds a great project for you to go and research on your own so that you can better understand the disorder
I don't know about this. It sounds delusional and off.
Tell us a story about abuse that sounds normal and not off?
$dawnportanova