The 5 Stages to Figuring Out Who You Are
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- čas přidán 27. 06. 2024
- Do you know yourself? We all tend to think we do, but we don't.
The concept of self is far more complex than most of us assume it is. So what I’ve done is broken it down into five different levels, and explained them as if I was explaining the concept of "Self" to a child, a teenager, a college student, a grad student, and an expert. I think some of the ideas might blow your mind 🤯
Level 1: Child 00:51
Level 2: Teenager 01:30
Level 3: College Student 3:09
Level 4: Graduate Student 05:25
Level 5: Expert 06:48
Leave a comment mentioning what level your understanding of your 'self' is. And then let's get zen'd out like motherfuckers and order a pizza. Oh, and be sure to like and subscribe for more content like this.
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Thanks for watching.
Thanks for watching.
Your ability to communicate a profound message and blend this with humour and sarcasm, is one of my favourite CZcams channels!
Ukweli!
Following Mark's CZcams channel has to be one of the greatest thing that could happen to me this year.
had the subtle art of not giving a F recommended to me years back and it's truly changed my life the last 5 years or so, as well as the rest of his site. I strongly recommend getting membership on his .net site, and also checking out carol dweck growth mindset book, can probably get a 2nd hand copy cheap online
@@michaelchildish yeah man , some people just buy it for show-off but what they don't realise is it's literally worth more than a gold mine , once you give it a thorough read it's just fantastic.
Thanks for the recommendation man 👍
@@michaelchildish hey bud can you tell me or share a link on which one's the original book cause in google Im getting a lot of versions on searching
@@Divyanshu-on8uz the edition I got is just called Mindset, 2017 edition. I gave enough of a F to check if you replied and got out of bed, the rest is on you mate. Good hunting :)
@@michaelchildish hey thanks a lot dude , if only I knew more people like you lmao , cheers.
I APPRECIATE YOU AND WHAT YOU PREACH MONK MANSON
Sometimes you gotta go monk mode
I o
@@shotglassanhero ooo
Monkkk modeee!
Monkee mode
@@sarbagyakarki😅😅😅
This was the galaxy brain meme in video form. I like.
Underrated comment
For real tho
I feel ya
His views are more wise and realistic rather than my parents, teachers and elders all together
Thats gonna happen to a lot of young men as most parents these days aren't wise in understanding and much more concerned in their self image. Its hard when you've got logical stuff like this coming your way, when at the same time your instinct is too listen to what your parents have to say. You just gotta look at everything objectively
5 LEVELS OF UNDERSTANDING THE SELF:
1) The Child: Whatever you feel & control in your environment is a part of you: "I am the body"
2) The Teenager: Greater abstraction, feelings, talents. The story of the self begins to evolve. Preferences, birthplace (the story of the self is developing). These abstractions begin to run up against social pressures/social feedback. Confusion between who I think I am and who others tell me I am begin to take place: "I am who others think I am"
3) The College Student: In response to the confusion of social pressure versus personal identity preferences the self begins to build elaborate defense mechanisms to protect the self-image from the inevitable social pressures it encounters from peers, culture, and society at large. The Freudian Ego is constructed. According to Freud the ego is our definition of ourselves for ourselves and we tend to protect that definition by either pushing other people away or simply lying to ourselves about what other people are saying. Healthy Ego = we know who we are & are comfortable with our self. Toxic Ego = inaccurate beliefs about yourself that must be protected from reality. Dysfunction stems from poor self definition as it inevitably crashes itself into reality.
4) The Graduate Student: The self is just an arbitrary definition based on our environment, the culture we grow up in, and things we're exposed to. There is no "correct" definition of ourselves (we make it up as we go along!). The fluidity of the self is another psychological mechanism that keeps us stable in our environment. The brain probably needed to invent a concept of self or invent an ego because an ego helps us function as a social species.
5) The Expert: There is no self. "You" (the self/the ego) do not exist! All is merely an unceasing inter-flow of information change. Trillions of bits get processed and spun into patterns that generate the illusion that the self exists. You can train your mind to start experiencing reality, not as the self or the ego, but as yet another manifestation in this infinite sea of existence.
The fifth level is deep, basically Nirvana. Wondering how you can get to that stage.
@@twilightcoder The best path is to go through all 4 previous stages. The beginner hears of Nirvana and gets head over heals in love/desire to get there. The sage does not desire anything but to learn what foot to put in front of the other. One small step at a time. And loving the process. No skipping steps or stages. Just being fully interested in a right-sized, non egoic, approach.
@@twilightcoder For me, this isn't Nirvana. It's just, reality. Pure reality. Nirvana is a human ideological construct. An idea carried forth by our ancestors in story and writing. Instead, level 5 is the opposite of that. It defies human definition and objectification. It doesn't pertain to our patterns and concepts. We put words to these concepts as we have no other way of... describing them. Literally. Human description is just that. Human. Another construct of our creation. Just like math, physics, or the alphabet. However, albeit our linguistic nature is a byproduct of evolution- humans live in a metaphorical box. A box we created for ourselves to keep ourselves sort of sane and 'productive' for the most part. Without this box we call 'Life', and all its human experiences, one has to wonder on a deeper level why they aren't a pine cone, or a drop of rain, or a squid. Because realistically... even though in the human mind these things are 'different', they are not. We all come from the same thing in the end, made of the same components, on a trajectory that is not actually defined by us. Only we think it is. Religious or not, humankind did not, and will not lay it's path for the future. We do so only based on the events that led us to exist in the first place. That define, and manifest us. All of which had no actual direction from us. It was never in our control. Control itself, these word you read, do not actually stand as a true extension of reality beyond the human imagination and comfort. We just agree on the sounds we make and words we type to mean things, kind of.
We are all one. We are all alone. The sand and dirt, the water grass and mind. It sounds like a crazy thing, however our law of conservation of mass would prove that although 'unique', on a fundamental level we all are a series of unique mixtures of the exact same, limited things. Once 'dead', we return to the earth. We become the soil, the trees, the air. It's as free-ing as it is trapping. Nirvana is heaven, there is no heaven here. Not for the non-scientific. Just reality. Raw, for what it is. Timeless and beyond words. You, as a human will never be able to describe it as it isn't describable. The ebb of time cannot be caught, or observed. Just felt. If that isn't a sort of unfathomable beauty... I don't know what is.
It's an idea that exists beyond the realm of words and symbols, and human objectification, and is itself, the unknown. We are the universe experiencing itself.
Thx
damn
Definitely, the last one was the Harsh Truth of the day.
Yeah he forgot that
Harsh truth : "be sure to like and subscribe, fuck face"
Not harsh but liberating I would say. Fundamental principle in Buddhsim and Non duality in general.
In fact so liberating that one reaching the full experience of it is, well, reaching Awakening.
@@okabeokuyasu2505 I agree with you, mate. BEST wishes for you ma fella.
Actual levels
1. Child
2. Teenager
3. College Student
4. College Graduate
5. College Graduate after smoking weed
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LIKE THIS
Correction: College student after using DMT.
I skipped 3&4
Dude, I lost it when the girl said, "I'll fight you" 😂😂😂
Same lol
Whoever cropped Mark's face to some stock photos deserves a raise. Great video
This content is Level 5 Quality all the way
It's super interesting that old buddhist teachings have always talked about the idea of non-self, that your concept of your "self" does not actually exist and that the ego we hold ourselves to is what causes us suffering. Therefore "losing ourselves" is perhaps the best way to let go of suffering. This is very interellated with your expert definition.
I swear we're sold the fact that we're supposed to know exactly who we are and what we want through school and movies. It's always changing! We've got to learn to enjoy the process and I personally like to think about where can I be creating the most impact for what I want to put out there. Through these processes I learn small lessons about myself, kind of like getting hints along the way of a game or quotes in a book to piece together a concept. Life is like a series of bite sized pieces that you can put together in as many ways you'd like, each time forming a different image. Sometimes it's a turd sandwich, sometimes it's pizza, with like, little bits of turd, you know.
He did not lie about the expert level explanation blowing me away.
This came at the perfect time, i just recently started soul searching and holy shit did it flip my reality on its head. A very emotional process but now it all makes sense when i heard someone say “my mind is so scrambled but its never been so clear in my life”
I feel you bro, i feel you so much
@@julelemaitre SUS
4:22 "I'll fight you" - this is low key golden
Gotta say it now, your book"the subtle art of not giving a Fu*k" and your videos have helped me a lot in my life. I can see my life changing little by little and I am looking forward to more.thank you soooooo much 💕✨ Great explanation
I am speechless because I really don't know how should I tell mark that you are phenomenal and unconventional writer. The way mark think is what I had always used to but never able to express in words but this man gave me motivation and now I write stuff thanks to mark ! ✨
"I'll never get to do sex" had me in stitches. lol
I love the funny graphics, especially, " I'll never get to do sex."
Loving how clear and nuanced the discussion of this topic is. Indeed, understanding "self" is harder than we thought.
Mark just finished your book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck". What a great book. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us !
You can subscribe to his written articles too. They are sent by email and are very interesting.
I love you, man. You're such a positive influence in my life, always staying true to yourself and helping me become a better person
Your personality is becoming more intergated! Loving it!
Omg! You have no idea how I related to everything you just said! U explained so Eloquently that I’ve been needing to hear at this particular time . Thank you 🙏 I’m so pleased I stumbled across your channel!! 🙂♥️ My new favourite channel!! You are incredibly well spoken! Loved it!! I’m a fan!
Since I do many side hustle for living, it has been hard to put a word on what I am. I don't want to call myself an entrepreneur so I after watching this video I had to do came up with "freelancer".
It's so awkward when you can't define yourself and this video helped me! Thanks Mark.
Useful knowledge and clear approach. Thank you Mark.
OMG whatsup with all the MEMES, they are HILARIOUS. I love your videos, so entertaining yet so insightful!!
Expert mode is the hardest. I guess it needs luck and wisdom to be on expert mode. A person who can only think about present always has someone who takes care of that person. The person who can only think about present has good brain to understand the concept. We tend to think about future because we are independent and survival is on our own. That’s why in my country: Myanmar, people choose on expert mode only when they get old like 60s 70s. Another controversy is we don’t know our lifespan. Some people die at young age and don’t have a chance to know about expert. Thank you for this video. Mark Mason. You are my favorite writer who can explain things in simple and funny way.
This is a banger! I was waiting for the harsh truth of the day but I guess the Expert level is the harsh truth 🤯👁
Thank you for the information, the awesomeness and the motivation, dude. Take care.
How someone can give this level of valuable knowledge on CZcams!!! Love you mark
Love youuuu ❤️❤️❤️ You’ve changed my delusional perception of the world, thank you
This started as a fun video you watch when you have nothing to do just to pass the time. Then it became interesting and it got me thinking abstractly about "the self". Then it became mind blowing, the latter parts are on another level. And it's 8 minutes
Your videos are amazing! I loved every single one of them that I have watched, the way you use humour to convey your ideas is just brilliant :)
the last phase u explained really got me thinking straight and yeah I realized it so true & that I never realized this it could be something like that ..
A nice brief history of everything in just 8 minutes. Thanks!
let's level up!!!
Thank you so much ❤
I love that you did this by yourself
Can we just appreciate that he talks & that talk low-key motivates us to accept the truth, and him not being toxic like all other psychologist such as Dr. Gordon Peterson? 🌝🌝
Another great video. Thanks Mark.
I was eagerly waiting for the illusion part.
you’re one of the best things i have ever known
Your videos are so good that I almost feel guilty watching it for free. Great content!
If you feel really guilty about free admission - He has paid higher level content subscriptions in his written blog/newsletter. He should advertise it here. HINT HINT
That trapeze picture made my day ! 😂
Great video, by the way.
Damm Mark - level 5 spun me out. Great video!
That’s a ✨✨high quality content✨✨
Holy shit Mark, you explained the concept of ego so well that I finally fucking understood it. I literally never fully understood this until now. Amazing. Thank you!
Mannnn.. God bless the algorithm
struck absolute gold today finding this channel
loved your terminus line!!! :).Also Rumi and myself concur. Just subscribed you, as your command.
Awesome .....Level 5 is truth...Appreciate it.
'F'in best ending to a CZcams video all year. Brilliant.
As a buddisht, i appreciate how beautiful your explanation are about the expert level: there is no self.
I love u Mark !!!
Cmon Mark!!!!! We need you back on this platform!
4:19 "I'll fight you" got me
Also 5:36
I’m so glad the last level was no self. I’ve been following Sam Harris for awhile and he originally opened my eyes to this concept and after practicing meditation for a couple years I can totally agree, we are the very condition in which all things simply appear, including our sense of self. But we are not identical to this sense of self, instead we are the prior condition in which it arises just as everything else does. Love your work Mark keep it up!
have you read "I am that" by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj? I can only read a few pages at a time because of how well it conveys the concept you describe.
One of the most valuable video on the Internet 💖
Holly shit. Wasn’t expecting that last one. Love it.
the ending might be the best thing I've ever witnessed
Mark hits a home-run on level 5 🙌
Those 5 layers of Mark..those pics are so funny and amazing
Hi Mark, level 5 really blew my mind. You mentioned that it is possible to train your mind to see the world from the perspective that the concept of ‘self’ doesn’t really exist. Do you think that mastering this skill would be in a way a “counterintuitive approach to living a good life”? in other words, would you describe the ultimate self-awareness as the one where you realise that there is no ‘self’? If you disagree, what would you consider as the main moral of this level 5 knowledge or is it pretty much up to everyone individually to figure out what this would mean for him/her?
Huge fan of the channel.
“Hair on your Woo Woo” 😂 🤣
Or wee wee🤣🤣
Priceless. 😂
i dont know why but this video is making me happy
I dont know why i feel kind of safe and secure whenever i read your books or watch you videos.🤔 i think you play some kind of trick for that.
For me, there is no perfect way of understanding yourself other than the fact that no one else in this world will ever understand you better than YOU.
nice twist, great video
I was doing just fine until I got to the end of this video, then I just had to breathe myself through a panic attack
@@gracefitzgerald2227 I hope you're not a psychiatrist ;)
Big hugs! x
because he was spewing BS
Loooove it! Thank you!
Thanks for your content!
The part about ego was too good, thank you.
I was reading your book and i got recommended your video. Cool!
The expert: The self does exist in some way, it is the totality of being. You are the big bang, the primordial energy of the whole universe.
Last one gets into spirituality and also the hardest. It's really about building a healthy and mature ego throughout your lifetime (Levels 1-4) then transcending it if you so choose.
BAHAHAHA That outro got me so bad, I LOVE IT!
Love your videos! Question: if our sense of well-being is based on how other perceive us, how does this jive with not caring so much about what others think of us? Thanks!
Amazing!! Please come up with a Level 6 view on the self :-) Let's see if we can handle it
Thank you. You're so inspiring + funny
Looooved how you ended this vid mark!
I love your channel!!!!!
I liked this within the first 15 seconds of watching. You hit the nail on the head for what your viewers need. Now take my money! Lol
@Mark Manson the real Mark Manson wouldn’t ask for my money over WhatsApp. Sorry Scammer
That last minute or so was intense, enlightening, and poetic as hell. Great stuff as always. Also, “I’ll never get to do sex” was hilarious lol
1. Anything that you can directly control or that you can feel. Anything you can't control without touching is not part of your self - your self is separate from the rest of the world.
2. Physical things form part of your identity - your height, your weight, your face. There are also abstract things - what you're good at, what you're interested in, your personality traits - which form your identity. There are also socially constructed identifiers - where you live, where you were born etc. This part of identity-formation in adolescence relates to insecurities as you're unsure of your identity and what others think of you i.e. are you smart, nice, etc. Identity becomes based on how others perceive you and treat you.
3. Once we create an identity/sense of self, anything that happens that disproves this identity we will ignore and try to defend against. Freud defines this as the 'ego' - what we tell ourselves we are. We tend to defend this so that we remain comfortable with who we are and don't have to change it and confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves e.g. we are selfish, rude, impatient etc. Ego is good when it is accurate - you need to understand who you are. Ego is toxic when our self-definition is not very accurate to our real self and this leads to emotional dysfunction in many people, and outbursts etc.
4. Defining your 'self' is abstract and entirely unique based on your life experiences, perspectives, culture, environment, exposure etc. There is no correct definition - we just make it up and need to be fluid with this so we have an accurate idea. The ego is just something our brains have evolved to have so we know if we're treating each other fairly etc.
5. There is no such thing as 'you' - nothing really exists. The universe is just a collection of atoms and smaller parts and we have created a concept of separation of things.
You are PHENOMENAL
I've watched quite a few Mark Manson videos but only now when he finished the video with the line "be sure to like and subscribe fuckface" have I actually subscribed. I don't know what that says about my self-esteem.
That escalated quickly =)
Thanks for existing.
Great video Mr. Manson
The idea of me was hoping level 5 would be on point... and the concept "me" has of "you" came through!
I like listening to Mark's wisdom because I am pretty convinced he doesn't give a fuck if I take it or leave it.
Loved the bloody ending music outro
Way he say woo woo or wee wee god dam I died laughing my heart out 😪😂😂
Mind blown ! I think I finally get it.
Man, that was so good, I looked for the subscribe button only to see that it already happened weeks ago, F*FACE! 😃😃❤
I love these therapy sessions
Love your sense of humour😂
This sweary dude literally helps me much more than those gentlemen self-help gurus 😃
Brilliant!
I am interested in knowing who your editor is.. Props to them!
AMAAAZING💗✌
Finished your first book last week Mark! I hope you read this comment and it comes as another of the thousands "OMG! You helped me change my life! Thank you so much for writing this!" comments which you often have to eye-roll at. But seriously.
Eye-Roll on, fucker. I legitimately appreciate the many tough cookies you've bitten into in life to form those struggles into pages. My Ego says you did it all for me. So, thank you 😘