The Conspiracy of Silence (Domestic Violence Documentary)
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- čas přidán 27. 02. 2023
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The Conspiracy of Silence helps to explain why the abused don't speak up.
The title refers to an unspoken pact in an abusive relationship, in which the abuser expects the victim never to disclose the abuse, and the abused complies with the hope of avoiding further violence. It shows that domestic violence is not limited to one culture or social class, and that there is no standard profile for an abuser or an abused person.
Directed by Neal Marshad and Donna Olson, this documentary is presented and narrated by Kathleen Turner, with appearances by Denise Brown (sister of Nicole Brown Simpson), Southampton judge Deborah Kooperstein, and others.
The Conspiracy of Silence outlines the problem of domestic violence clearly and concisely and provides the model for meaningful and workable solutions. This is a sober look at what domestic violence is and how it can be identified, punished, and prevented. WATCH!
CONTENT LICENSED FROM NEAL MARSHAD TO REALWOMEN/REALSTORIES. SHOULD YOU HAVE ANY QUERIES OR QUESTIONS, PLEASE CONTACT US AT: mu@matanuziel.com
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I'm 73 and am so happily single. Had my share of abusive men. They are soul takers if you don't leave. Drove away with a tank of gas, 17 cents in my pocket and 3 yr.old. son. This is back in 1984. Found a live in Nanny job. Saved up and got my own place, a better paying job and never looked back. Leaving taught me to be creative and self assured. Nobody takes better care of me and my children than me. My son is now 42 and a Paramedic / fireman. Ladys don't just walk away...Run
Wow, this is a powerful story. Thank you for sharing it. I'm so glad you got away. God bless you!
I separated from my ex 3 years ago. Will never live with another man. Happy to do my own thing.
Agreed, RUN!
Yep, there you have it, 1984, the beloved 80s. The birth year of Domestic and child abuse.
Yep, there you have it, 1984, the beloved 80s. The birth year of Domestic and child abuse.
I wish they would have also mentioned that when the victim leaves, or tells their abuser they're leaving, is the most dangerous time for them. There's a predictable pattern in all domestic abuse & domestic homicide. Too bad many people don't recognize the red flags.
Thank u 4 saying that...... That's soooooo true.......
They did actually. I'm a survivor and I heard it. I believe it was only stated once but they also explained why the shelter is in an undisclosed location.
Don’t tell them you’re leaving. Just leave unannounced and get to safety.
I do wish they went into the things we know about abuse, the process of isolation being so important and if you notice it to be more aware. Also, if you experienced abuse, of any kind, you're more likely to be in an abusive relationship. Abusers, whether intentionally or not, look for characteristics in their partners that make their abuse a foregone conclusion and much harder to escape.
Actually, if you could find the entire studio interview afterwards, we did address that. Sadly, they did not include it.
I had left my husband and then he lured me back to retain some important documents…….
As soon as I entered the house he jumped on me and put me to the ground holding a large machete to my neck threatening to cut off my head!
My friends waiting in the car drove to a phone…as this happened in the early 80’s……called the cops.
Two cops showed up at the opened front door looking at us and witnessing the whole scene….ask him to drop the machete….which he did….then asked me to leave and did nothing to him!!!
I left and never went back….he shot himself in his head a few years later.
Im still alive and living my best life.
finally a happy ending👏🏾🔥👍🏾👏🏾💥🎉🎉🥳🥳good for you👏🏾💥🎉
My ex is a covert narcissist. Charming in public (most times) and behind closed doors, he punched _everything._
He once had us sell a metal cargo trailer that was RIDDLED with his knuckle marks/intentions all over it. He didn't care. No shame. Our store had fist marks in the walls, so did our house. He broke my car horn from punching the steering wheel so much. Road raging to where I'd be crying my eyes out, praying we wouldn't die and he couldn't give a crap. My tears made him more angry!
Yes, he'd Hoover me back with tears, cards, flowers, promises that he'd change, he'd do better, but every single time I chose to stay, he got *worse.*
Before I left he was throwing things at the wall next to me when my back was turned in order to walk out and leave. He wanted an audience to his rage. It made him feel powerful.
He is a small minded, tiny pee-pee, weak, afraid man child who cross dresses and needs to be humiliated to get his rocks off. He is sick and I feel bad for him...but not enough to stay. Staying was enabling his abuse.
Men & Women victims/survivors:
You are worth leaving and getting out! You are worth being with someone who loves you, who sees you, who accepts you, who protects you, who is on your team, who builds you up, who DELIGHTS in you and loves you more than their own life and who'd DIE if they _ever_ scared you!!!!
Educate yourselves on the cycle of abuse, the red flags to look for in the beginning, work on yourself until you truly LOVE who you are and would never, EVER let anyone disrespect you in any way.
Abusers hate people with self esteem, boundaries and self respect. They will run from you! They have a radar for people who have low self esteem, who are too kind and enable and minimize disrespect, who don't like themselves....
Fantastic books:
•The Human Magnet Syndrome
•Healing From Hidden Abuse
•Why Does He Do That?
•Is It Me?
•The Life Saving Divorce
•Exposing Financial Abuse
•The Emotionally Destructive Marriage
•When The Body Says No
•Why Does He Do That?
•Ugly Love
•The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist
•Men who hate Women and the women who love them
•Boundaries (Henry Cloud & Townsend)
•Safe People
Please seek help, there are many people out here who are survivors and throwers who can help! You can join a survivor group that's private. So many survivors want to help others who are stuck and scared ❤
The cross dressing is a BIG red flag, one that I've heard many times in survivor stories... Nowadays a lot of the cross dressing abusers will "transition", and some of them will be allowed access into women's shelters...
I went through this horrible traumatic violence in my marriage we had 2 son's; I was young; what gave me courage is I didn't want my son's growing up thinking it was ok; or worse they probably would have killed their dad. 1st I had to have a plan; I had to go in hiding with my son's to have him served; we heard on the scanner it took 6 cops to serve him; he told them a piece of paper wasn't going to keep him away. I'm 54yrs old now our son's are 38 and 35. I forgave him and we have communication now we get along; he understands he beat me out of his life; he was an alcoholic; he no longer drinks. I wished back then they'd help families; instead of keep families apart. P.S. I'm single it's too scary to find a significant other; I always opened my heart but but men abuse me. I'm a strong willed woman and I can't seem to find a man who respects me. I have Jesus
God bless you, Stacey. Jesus is all you need. Me too 🙏
Stacey, if you really want a good man who will love you with all of his heart, I invite you, I challenge you, to make a simple vow to God. Tell God what you want. Vow to God what you will do if he grants you your desire. Don't tell anyone about your vow. Write it down with the date on it. This is personal between you and God. Remember to keep your vow when God gives you your hearts desire.
@@donaldedmond4117 men cant be trusted, especially men who write women on the Internet, stop scamming
I am sorry for the pain you went through but teally cannot understand why you now hv contact...
I know a great lady & her 2 boy's seeing her mistreated sets an awful example
That counselor in the anger management group was so amazing!!
If we were out in public My ex husband used to start saying “il get loud” and I was so embarrassed that I would just give in and do what ever it was that he wanted. He was a monster at home and a master manipulator when we were out.
One day my husband was so obnoxious to me a crowd was forming around us.
Divorce solved the problem. Never should have married him, but definitely should have left sooner than I did. Restraining order very helpful and changing the locks once he moved out(which was suggested by my divorce lawyer) also was helpful.
@@cathyreece9914 I hear you Cathy I changed the locks the day I finally told him he had to get out, divorce was a blessing
My ex used to say to me that, If, I left him he would kill me. Or, that he would take the children away... I finally left him after my daughter turned 18 years....
My grandmother was in an abusive relationship with my mothers father for years she finally found the courage to leave him but it came at a price he took my mother from her and never saw her again
Thank you. I grew up on Long Island. You have validated the generational trauma I too have lived through.
💚💚💚
Went to a shelter with my 10 year old son. They turned me away cause he was a male and top old and would intimidate the smaller children. I returned home . I nearly lost my life many times over.
I am a survivor. My grandmother was an adulterer and a prostitute, my mother was abused by her and then married my father, an alcoholic violent abuser of mom and all of us kids, raping my oldest brother for 10+ years. I never knew comfort or trust and married an abuser. I am not married now. What to do with all this damage? My involvement with any person is ALWAYS limited. I want to protect my heart and am very suspicious. and naturally defensive. I protect me. Any healing did not come through education (not available) or kindly interference (GO BACK! HE IS WONDERFUL! YOU ARE CRAZY!) So here's a woman of 3 generations of crap. Progress is slow.
Progress is slow but it is not impossible. As a victim of domestic abuse myself, my heart is with you. I wish you the best on your journey to healing and safety 🤍
Yes progress is slow. After 22 years I moved away. Five years since I moved and I am still breaking it off. Hard! Isolated without a job or friends.
I think we have to move beyond being shut in s and try doing new things with having rules and set boundaries, so we we don't go back because of trauma. Perfectly understable that we are this way.
I'm ready for a job, doing exercises, doing Art, goals about health. I think we might start attracting other positive people. Powerful Positive Affirmations ❤
you really must get right away from a violent man as soon as you realise he is capable of hurting you. there is no other option.
Wish I read this 10 years ago
Thank you for this documentary…👠👠👠
Mental abuse is just as bad are worse.
Totally agree with you
Nah
As someone who's experienced both, I want to agree with you.
Of course, the physical abuse is typically accompanied by mental abuse...
I guess I'd say it really depends on how severe the physical abuse is, but for me personally, the mental abuse and walking on eggshells has done far more damage to me than any physical pain I've experienced.
It sure is.
both semi equal in a way but physically hurting someone half your body weight ,,,
nah
your wrong as ..... mental abuse doesn't require blood transfusions from internal bleeding,
so no
Thank you, beautiful Women, with strength and positive energy that women like me will hear and see it is not just happening to me, but to a lot of women. The shame is the stopper, and we have to learn how to get past this point, but some of us don't have the support we would love to get. Keep up educating us on this Topic that needs to be addressed.
This happened to me, he hit me than stood over me and his eyes were black. He told me I can’t be stubborn and that I had to obey him so nothing bad would happen to me.
My abuser came home after attending his court ordered domestic violence classes and he'd rage on me. Screaming name calling saying the class knows exactly how you are. You're going to send me to prison, ect. It didnt help him not one bit. Second time ordered also after his second time to jail after beating me.
believe you because I had the same ,😢
A great book (reading it now) is Healing from Hidden abuse. It's an amazing educational book!!❤
I'm a survivor of DV and so is my adult daughter. Her abuser got her daughter's removed from the home and adopted out. No one helped her escape from the abuser. AND she has a disability. She's on the aurism spectrum. Her father SA her during visitation after I left him for abusing me.
I'm very sorry..ypur daughter in particular has been through too much....
@@laetitialogan2017 thank you very much. She is 28 and working through everything. I appreciate it. Greatly. We are all healing. C-ptsd is not an easy thing to live with. 🥰💜🫂 (Sorry about the typos in the original comment.)
Thanks for sharing this!
I wish, the organisations who really help people out of domestic violence (and often murder) would also look into so-called "holy" religious groups in the areas with most victims as many of these so-called "holy" people are often the very worst perpetrators hiding behind their "holyness"...
even in secular institutions where teachers, doctors, police can also be perpetrators. Its not just in church its everywhere ..
@@florag8358 Exactly Flora!
The old Colonial countries, clearly - not surprisingly - have it all written down to repeat/copy, every time they are doing a "reset" of our planet and us 😰
In fact, some years ago, I got insight in one of these horrific books and yes, it comes from everywhere in our societies - and, every single time, it starts within the old religions - these religions which have absolutely nothing in common with Christianity...they are nothing but fascists and small, small power-freaks....so, so sad 😥😥😥
We - the people of Planet Earth, have to remember st all times, we ALL have equal rights - each and every one of us 💞
Interesting to hear an older thing about violence against women in long island considering there is still a serial killer at large that killed a bunch of women known as gilgo beach killer
The is the best program I’ve seen on domestic violence. I believe many women don’t report it and the true statistics may be much higher. I’m saving this video in the event I come across someone who needs this information.
MISOGYNY is at the root of the cause of the battering.- what an eye opener. Fixing the batterer is key- I’ve never heard that approach before. I wonder if they have ever tried psychiatric evaluation in the event that medication could be given to these men. Could they have an underlying mental health disorder?
Yours is a phenomenal program!❤❤❤
God bless You for truth
Thank you so much for bravely telling your stories 🤍
Thank You! 🙌🙏🙏👍🌻
What can be done when the police refuse to enforce the restraining orders???
Get a gun, simple
police don't its the court in the uk
People just flat out don't believe you. Or think you must have done something to deserve it or look the other way. This has been happening long before the Me Too movement. I definitely agree most of these batterers are completely sober.
It is so sad that beautiful women one and all are victims of inequality. It must stop it breeds hate and dangerous behavior.
Oklahoma isn't much help with abused women 😔
Nothing has changed.
Just leave never believe him he will say it won't happen again don't believe him just get away fast
My ex told me I was the only one he wanted to hit, then after the divorce I met someone that knew him as a child ,who said he picked fights with people as a child.
OK here's risking being ostracised but what of loving men who are in a narcissistic relationship being abused berated and assaulted by women but for a man he doesn't know where to turn and doesnt speak up as no one would take him serious
Yes..that exists too..horrible.. still not as often as battered women..is Not the subject here..one problem at a time
@@gigiarmany4332
That is the problem and its more widespread than you elude in your dismissive comment when it should be about all violence towards all regardless of gender but if a man was as dismissive concerning violence towards woman as you are concerning violence towards men there would be an uproar at no time ever should violence towards anyone be tolerated
Maybe some people wouldn't take him seriously, but, if he reached out for help he would get it. No one thinks it's only women who are battered. At least I hope not. I think the problem would be that many men would be embarrassed, or afraid to speak out. Amongst those reasons, there may be a fear that they would lose access to their children. It's just a lose lose situation for everyone & it's sad.
I currently know a man that is being abused by his wife. She is crazy and would make my life a living hell if I were to phone the police.
Yes men are in abusive relationships as well, however more funding goes towards women on the statistics alone More women are abused and murdered then men. Look up the data to support this. You will be shocked
What year is this from?
As a toddler to grade school I saw
My parents beat each other this was in thee year of 1960 I'd tried to stop them but then I'd just hide wherever I could till neighbors would call the police they would find me bring me to whoever could take me till I can go back tou mom
Iostly lived with others till I was 16 & made something of myself I got an education a job own apartment I stop the cycle I was strong enough as a child in to survive the universe is my only family
Mientras no sean mentiras, me solidarizo. No vayan a salir como ah
So my cousin had me take her to file for a protection order and why on earth is it repeatedly stated that filer can at any time ask for order to be dismissed or that they have the option when at the initial court appearance to request it be dropped. Wtf. This is not helpful. It’s a hard enough situation then to give the person the power to back out and their abuser knows all this and so then it’s their fault. When the cycle circles and physical abuse has occurred or whatever the case there’s a very small window for the abused to file this order and feel halfway ok doing it. But by the time the perpetrator gets served and they go to court the victim has lost a lot of the power dynamic again. It’s complicated but I do not agree with the layout of protection orders. When the court could take some of the load off the victim they should. Once an order is filed that’s that.
Physical abuse comes in all forms..It is not always obvious. Such as a black eye.
If your yourself believe that the names should be kept secret. What is this for then? That is where you go blind or unconsciously supporting the quiet stigma under the lines. If the society would not disapprove it. It would not be changed. It must be published with the perpetrators detailed actions and received punishment.
Dear responsibles, sending msg here bc cant find yr contacts. If you may cover my story as victim.of 34 yrs of abuse from high profile narc mother and living in obscurity and degradation as an artist w 24 yrs of creation totally deprived of visibility and inclusion pls let me know. This scandal may turn my country upside down. I want my ordeal to be known so other invisible daughters of NMs gain courage to free themselves and soeak out. thank you
Yes....do not speak...
Fu**ing incel parasite
@@jasminben9254 who evers tells the truth....get rocks...with the rockes u give....i built castles...ashole
That is prejudice. Not only the young girls are victims of secual,verbal and physical violence, young boys go through it as well. Women of different ages and men do it to them.
Can’t understand why women would allow someone to treat them do poorly
It's not only women but men as well that go through this. There can be many factors as to why they allow it to happen, especially when children are involved. Dunno if you have paid attention but women can't simply leave the relationship as they get threatened death by their spouse if they do. Majority of times it ends up in homicide. Sometimes women allow it to happen because of a toxic notion that it's their fault that men loose their temper and hence hurt them.
Nobody is allowing it. They are physically stronger than us and everyone knows it. When you have children you have to come up with an escape plan considering the children. Not so easy.
You never had any changed laws as the laws were to obey the concepts and understanding of Life and world. In the absence of which your lawd were to strengthen pedagogical patriarchy. Life is a previlidged chance one has, and it is autonomous there is no after life or eternal life. Humans are the Life form. Both men and women have the same right to live as they want to . No one has the right to black mail another on behalf of any imbalance.
Oh, it is a surprise to me I thought UK has good laws but apparently it is a men heaven where women have to prove. It is not difficult though to keep the law simple and effective to be same for both that any one engaged in violence would receive punishment.
Women in the UK don’t have to prove it , she’ll get help and support from services. As with all crimes it’s down to CPS if they agree to pursue a case in court
Don't they even understand that by not taking step and standing against it they are teaching their children that lige is unworthy to live on!? To fight for life and stand up for it is where they put the best education in their children then no pressure can break through them.
I saw this picture and I remembered in 1969,I was in school and there was this girl her name was victruchknanvtryactriscutus,since you have jumped the name I won't tell you what really happened between me and her,life is sweet joor😋😁😁
Wtf?
No, incorrect. Why snapped under social pressure and violence is the only path chosen? It is the society suggesting the vulnerability, the woman is inferior, man is superior.
Excuse me Taylor23890
But Violence is not restricted to Males only because there are many violent women out there as well and isn't it sexist to suggest otherwise
And there are many
men that have died at the hands of a female narcissist its not only women that are victims
Yes ladies and gentleman louis brown was a married man in germany his wife margaret with pregnant with their son and at the time he met mistress Juditha Brau and left his wife for juditha margaret got child support off of him as she should she said he deserted the family in germany.... both Louis brown and margaret had 3 children together.
his son in law brutally murdered his daughter. what's your point?
what's this about ,mate?
Don't forget that this is not just an issue with men, but an issue with people. One thing which many documentaries like this one leaves out, is that domestic abuse VERY often takes placs in a mutually toxic relationship.
Often with both partners abusing each other physically. Often with one physical abuser, and one mental, verbal, and emotional abuser, who eggs them on purposefully and relentlessly.
Yes there are toxic relationships with mutual abuse, however this doc is focusing on the abuse of women by their partners. These men hold positions of power in the relationship both financially and physically. Women are murdered every day from domestic abuse and they are even more at risk when they leave. The data is there if you want to research it. Don’t downplay the importance of womens safety.
@EmpressRetard if you think your theory is correct SA is very often takes place in a mutually toxic environment/relationship, often with both partners SA each other .
How does that sound as that’s what you’re implying , DV doesn’t just happen between a romantic couple
TRANSition to a man. Problem solved!
With the complexity of todays world, it is hard to navigate as a survivor of domestic abuse.
I’m only 26 and feel like I’ve had enough pain for two lifetimes.
Nowadays even in good moments I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Depression and sadness are more lasting than happiness. Everyday I try to look for the good and find hope. It is an uphill battle. I remind myself daily that even though it’s hard it is not impossible to be happy.
I’m now with the man of my dreams who actually respects me, loves me and listens to me and for that I am grateful.
One day at a time sisters 🤍
You got away from abuse when so many never did, that's strong