Masking in autism⎥What is autistic masking and why is it bad? 😥⎥autism in women⎥
Vložit
- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- This video briefly covers what autistic masking is, why masking is problematic, and how masking has negatively impacted my life.
#austim #autismingirls #adhdingirls
Find me on IG @neurodivergentme
Someone once said to me it was crazy how in one class I was quiet and seperated myself from everyone, and one hour later in a different class I would be so loud and energetic and chatty with my friends. If I am comfortable I am well spoken and confident, but with every other situation I am a bit socially awkward and it has been pointed out many times. When I was younger I would always adopt the personality, language and interests of my friends to the point it upset my mum. Also congrats on the baby, I saw a photo on your video announcement. What a cutie!
When I worked, I felt the same way you described. At 57 I quit working because I had got to the point where I knew if I didn't I would literally die. I was fatigued and my mind was shutting down. Last year I found out I had been in burn out for years, that I'd been masking for over 5 decades, and that I had no idea who I was. It was a huge shock! I'm still trying to recover. I'm SO TIRED! I can't do much around my house, and I think working again isn't possible. Just going out for an hour grocery shopping requires the rest of the day resting. Masking as much as I did wears a person out physically and mentally. I didn't have a choice. It's how I survived.
I was diagnosed during the pandemic, so for as long as I've been working I've been masking without realizing it, but I know some people see some of my personality traits as weird, and some have come right out and said it. So now that I know better I'm looking into a permanent work from home accommodation (which we're doing currently anyway) while I get therapy to improve my socializing and hopefully there will be some other changes made by the employer
I think permanently working from home is a great accommodation when it’s possible. The company my husband works for is really advocating to go back to the office and it just doesn’t make sense for those who prefer to work from home. Have you found therapy helpful for improving your social skills?
@@neurodivergentme Haha that sounds exactly like my company, it's obvious we can do our jobs from home, but they keep talking about culture, whatever that means. As for therapy, not yet unfortunately, I went through a local university but they work a little slowly but they'll be able to help. Thanks for asking!
Sending this to my sister and my mom because you articulated it way better than I did when I tried to tell them. 🙃 almost 37 and while not professionally diagnosed after a year of research and Autism becoming my special interest I feel the Autistic with a HEAVY dash of ADHD statement fits me and my life to a T. Not sure I’ll ever be able to afford to be diagnosed but everyday I am relearning myself and I am so lucky to have a wonderful supportive husband. It’s been wild to see how absolutely everything in my life is tied to it, good or bad. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t hold down a reg 9-5, haven’t driven a car in almost 15 years, and am extremely nervous around ppl. I too call other people who seem to have their shit together adults, while firmly mentally not putting myself into that category.
When I first watched someone (can’t remember exactly which Autie CZcamsr it was) go through and brake down what the DSM 5 actually meant (and what it looks like an adult women) I felt like I had just been backhanded with the reality of my life, 36 years or trying to figure out wtf was wrong with me and it took one youtube video to answer the main questions.
"Trying to figure out the appropriate response is draining... work social interactions can feel like it takes days recovery" i know this!
One "hack" (I guess) for myself at work is that I simply decline to have personal conversations when I don't feel up to it. Speaking, in itself, is not usually a challenge for me, so it works out well enough.
Also, another thing. Don't feel like you have to post every single week. Babies are a great source of schedule changes (which are really fun to have constantly /s). Whatever it is that you need to do for your own health should come first, and if you have the time to make videos for us, we'll be here :)
Thank you for this video, I never realised I was masking until I was diagnosed with ASS last year. All of the sudden my four burn-outs made a lot more sense. Because while I was diligently following the instructions I had been given in previous therapies, "make sure to have an active social life" was one of the things that secretly drained me. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I am at last finding out what my unmasked self is truly like.
I love my son’s autism and adhd! Thanks for sharing your experience. This is a good reminder for autism parents like me! Sometimes we just forget how letting him being himself is equally important.
Thanks for sharing your experience . It’s really helped me . I literally cried because I related so much .
What you said in this video resonates with me; especially the part of not knowing what my authentic self is. I'm a late-diagnosed autistic guy. In my work life I have experienced burnouts on a number of occasions resulting in depressions. After my diagnosis I work part-time in a company as part of an employment program for people with disabilities. My life is finally stable and predictable.
I'm autistic too and love unmasking and feeling meeee 💌 it comes in 'waves' its gradual and natural. congratulations too on the diagnosis and self discovery's 😁
Congrats on new mom life. Would love your perspective on that. I have 2 kids already but looking back I can see now why it was so much harder for me to cope that other moms that seemed to not have the same struggles I did… why I also didn’t fit in mom groups etc
I have a replaced most of my external stimms with one internal one. Thinking in other languages. I am fluent in Esperanto and somewhat in German. Thinking in these languages helps me stay calm and focused and make better decisions. If I didn't have this i wouldn't have enough spoons for a work day. Because I didn't start working until after I had Esperanto in my brain i didn't think spoon theory applied to me because my other languages help me that much.
I've also made many good friends through Esperanto many of whom are also neurodivergent.
nice dramatic cinematic thumbnail it made me chuckle and good to see to encourage people be more comfortable with themselves
Great topic. This can never be discussed enough.
Every single time I start to question pursuing a diagnosis, you post a video and I say to myself "bruh..." Thanks for getting this community together!
I know I have been masking my whole life I just didn’t know that is what I’ve been doing I thought everyone did it. My husband and I did not live together before we got married and I was nervous for him to see me unmask. I was myself around him but he had never seen me in a real meltdown (after work I would have them)I didn’t know what was going on at the time but I do now. I think that’s what I mostly kept hidden. Other then that I’m not sure if I was that good at hiding things. Once my daughter was diagnosed my husband did ask me if I thought I could be autistic (and I did) and after I got my official diagnosis. I was talking to my mother in law and I told her that I had got diagnosed and she told me that she knew she could tell because I was similar to my daughter 🤷🏻♀️.
I just got diagnosed in September and have been working remote so I haven’t seen my co-workers in person in almost 2 years so haven’t had much interaction with people except my family. I did tell my supervisor about my diagnosis and she is supportive I am sure I could Accommodations if I asked. I don’t know what I should ask for.
I have bipolar & I can't mask it when severely affected. I see so many people talk about "unmasking" but they don't seem to do this in their videos
I was diagnosed as a 30 year old last year. Before that I had been diagnosed with every other disorder under the sun but they just didn’t fit. Now that i have my diagnosis is still feel like an imposter, especially since I was successful at school, in study and my career as a school teacher (even though it sent me into burnout many times) 😞
How do I get over this feeling of fraud?
Interesting. There are more school teachers in the autism group I am in than any other job.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors work for me.
I have autism❤️
I think you have to be REALLY careful about letting yourself make excuses too much. Empathy can be toxic if it only ever turns you into a victim. Jmo.:)
🎶 P-R-O-M-O-S-M!!
everybody has these masks