All the knowledge you need to avoid them completely forever :)) Socials& links ::: linktr.ee/icky Thank u to the editor of this vid for killing it: www.asheredits.co.uk
I'm a transfemme. Genital preference isn't the problem. I'd rather be with someone who's attracted to my body including my genitals, than someone who's attracted to me in spite of them. Someone not treating me like a full person and only objectifying me is the problem. Objectification is the problem, not them prefering my genitals over a cis woman's.
Yes, it's the manipulative and dehumanizing shit that is the problem not the attraction in itself. Just be normal and don't do shit that wouldn't be okay in any other relationship, lol.
In other words, having a preference for trans women over cis people is not a problem, it's just a preference. The problem arises when it's just for the thrill, for the fetish; that's dehumanizing. Beware: even if you are in a "serious" relationship with such a person, they might still see you as that trophy/object/pet. You have to see through the bullshit and find a real, whole, emphatic person who truly loves you.
When I was younger, we had the distinction between an admirer and a chaser. A chaser just wanted your junk and to act out specific fantasies, most often to be topped because it was a less scary proposition than being topped by another dude. Admirers, on the other hand, were definitely into your junk, but also you as a person and would pursue an actual relationship. It was a big tell whether a dude was a chaser or an admirer if they refused to introduce you to their friends or family, an admirer could have hang-ups about introducing you but would make an effort (it was the 90s after all), where a chaser wanted you to be their dirty little secret and even potentially get violent if you talked about wanting to meet their social circle.
at least for me, genital preference is at least a pretty big part of the problem. i couldnt date someone who likes the part of myself i hate the most and am extremely dysphoric about. you are right about objectification being most of the problem though, especially for trans people who dont have bottom dysphoria. it is also true though that a 'genital preference' and objectification super frequently go hand in hand.
As a cis guy with a bunch of trans friends, I'm always worried that I might be acting like a chaser. My closest friend sent me this video saying "4head this is why you arent a chaser lmao"
You can be friends with trans people without being a chaser. Me and my gf are trans and I have cis guy roommate who hangs out with us all the time, and we occasionally invite other trans people to hang out. He gets along with us because he's a genuine and kind person. As long as you aren't romanticizing or fetishizing the trans people, you're fine. You are just being a normal person and its perfectly acceptable to have lots of trans friends if they feel comfortable around you.
trans gals are cool and have cool hobbies. Have made several trans lady friends by going on autistic rambles about warhammer 40k. Me: Slaanesh is the coolest chaos god trans gal: OMG SAME *friend invite received*
@@jadeviper1290i'm sure this isn't what u meant but i wouldn't have said "romanticizing" there. i am a trans woman into men and they'd Better romanticize me. fetishization is a different story ofc
I’ve dealt with a lot of trans man chasers in my day. Every once in a while still find one. They expect me to be a sub bottom. When I explain that I’m a dom top, they scatter like roaches. It’s actually really funny
@@christinewarden3450 exactly. That was the only thing I didn’t understand in the video. Trans men get hella chasers. We talk about it on Reddit all the time. Lol
When I was first discovering myself and asking for help coming terms with my gender identity and sexuality, I got labeled as a chaser and kicked out of the communities I was in
similar happened to me but because I was seeing a trans girl for a bit. her open-relationship boyfriend (that i didnt know about) spread it. People can be quite horrible. I'm sorry you experienced that, I hope you're good now!
I feel like i should put in my 2 cents here. for some time i was worried that i was or at least seemed like a chaser. I by no means "exclusively" go for trans people, but i felt more attracted to someone knowing they were. two things happened to make me realize that wasn't really the case for me though. the first was when I got called out on it, was talking to a girl and when the topic came up, i said something along the lines of "i actually prefer it" and she called me out pretty fast after that. i thought about it at that point and realized it was not a fetishization thing, but rather a respect thing. something i find very attractive in people is the ability to be unabashedly true to themselves. people who dont hide who they are. and coming out as trans, especially going through the process of transitioning takes alot of that honesty and determination to be true to yourself. I had nothing but the upmost respect for the people who push past all the social, legal, and interpersonal issues to do that. The second thing... figured out i was trans as well (shocker i know) so alot of it was probly envy too.
That doesn't sound like envy, jealousy or just respect like you say but envy sounds to harsh. To me it doesn't sound like you resented them. I used to have problems with envy and it's a disgusting feeling.
@@adamlagerqvist8111 envy isn't a inherently negative feeling or emotion. There are a few different interpretations. In the ditch language there is benijden, or benign envy which is more about recognizing others being better off and aspiring to be so yourself. Whilst Aristotle defined envy as pain at the sight of another's good fortune and "stirred by those who have what we ought to have". When I said envy in my post, was primarily using it in the ditch benign envy interpretation. While it's still classified as a negative emotion due to the "unpleasant" feeling, I wouldn't say its destructive or unproductive, it's what drives people to do better.
So this is me except I didn't find out I was trans. I've been a death metal musician for over 20 years. I have what I guess people would describe as an alternative look. Long hair, camo pants, combat boots l, combat vest with patches, black band t shirt with something evil on it you get the picture. I was bullied for it when I was first growing out my hair when I was 13 and I overcame by deciding I didn't give a fuck what people thought about me when it came to that anymore. Which is not really a healthy way to deal with it. So I greatly admire trans peope being themselves constabtly searching for healthy ways to love themselves and get the love that they deserve. It just so happens that I am also attracted to that kind of person trans or not but a lot of trans people fit that description.
Lmao I was waiting for the second point. That really sounded like an egg behavior. Which doesn't bode well for me because I'm also in that same category of "cis guy in admiration and respectful of trans people"
“I’m watching my boyfriend and puppy go outside so he can pee. The puppy not the boyfriend” Thanks for the clarification, my first thought was that it was Finn going to pee outside. 😂
I was about to comment this, it's important to remember that chaser isn't always about trans women, I've heard the term chubby chaser at least, which is pretty self explanatory, but I also imagine it's used for lots of other stuff.
@@bacon.cheesecake the problem with the term chubby chaser sucks because its mostly lobbed at guys who are attracted to fat women, but its not just some kind of a fetish (most of the time). usually its used as a way to indirectly fat shame the woman by shaming the man willing to date her.
Oh dear God, I hadn't even thought of that. That's... That's messed up. I have nothing to add. I'm only commenting out of shock. Fuck, that's *so* gross. Jesus.
My girlfriend who is bisexual has a preference for trans people, but I think it's different than being a chaser. She prefers trans people because in her experience, trans men and women tend to be harder workers, they tend to be more compassionate and understanding, they're much better at boundaries, and they're just all-around awesome people. I'm a trans woman, and I don't feel objectified being in a relationship with her. She loves me because I'm awesome (her words)!
@@fragmos264 Im glad! You deserve to feel hopeful. My life has been really really hard, and i know you've heard this before, but I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel if you keep holding on! There's bound to be a wonderful person out there if thats what you're looking for.
In the old days they were called transfans and the worst thing was that they wanted to pressurize you not to transition, especially not to go to the bottom surgery. OTOH, going to get your SRS done was a good way to get rid of them.
as a transguy i also had some chasers texting me before and as soon as i say that im not interested they always start insulting and misgendering me lmao
that is one aspect of chasers. They are often quite transphobic underneath. They will love bomb you as long as they thing they're going to get what they want. But fundamentally they are often full of bigotry. Probably what makes sleeping with a trans girl soo exciting for them, the self imposed taboo they are breaking
There are a lot of chasers out there. Some couples are chasers together. I am usually creeped out and a little bit flattered at the same time, but I am not an object to be fetishized.
@@Circ00mspice Oh they're annoying, they always come at you with the angle of "hey, my partner and I are looking for a third and we're super open-minded" Sounds flattering until you realize that they're "open-minded" because they see you as some kind of freak, not as an actual person
im signed in to an alt to type this because this is a topic i have been avoiding for a long time, even to myself. i am not a trans woman, in fact im about as basic as its gets (cis hetero m). i have struggled with depression for over a year now, and have been working hard to fix my self-image issues. i have a number of f3tishes, all of which feed heavily into my guilt complex. im so disgusted by myself all the time, and just in the last few months after telling one to my therapist for the first time, i almost ended it all. im getting treatment but i think there are things beyond medication that ill need in order to live with myself. i dont know why, but i am drawn to mtf individuals in a way that i can only describe as discriminatory. i have never acted on such urges, nor other urges that plague my mind, but its something that i feel that i cant ignore. clearly its related to why i go into rabbit holes of watching finnster videos and your videos by association. i feel overwhelmingly guilty about how this whole thing makes me feel and sometimes i just dont know what to do with these emotions. i just wanted to write this to hopefully add another dimension to the discussion. yes, online predators are bad and there is nothing good to be said about those that shame others for their own self-gratification. beyond those individuals, i imagine im not the only person who feels that they are a bit lost in the spectrum. i bought some women's clothes online in secret, and this was only after months of torment wanting to change how i look, and now that i have them i feel like its just a f3tish as you said in a previous video. i really feel like i need to unsubscribe for my own good, but i know the cycle of seeking content/feeling guilty will happen again. if you have any advice or would want to chat, and that is mainly directed to other commentors here, drop a line. it might make me feel better to talk things out. thank you.
Sorry to hear that. It's a little difficult to know where to draw the line between objectification and appreciation, I know for some people. Hopefully you can use your common sense, you are a good person 💙
I think you could be trans or a femboy or just a cis het guy who likes to dress in a feminine way? I don’t think you need to label yourself if you feel you are on a discovery path. Sorry if I’m misunderstanding your point , but from what you say, I understand that you get some sexual arousal from the clothes or something like that? In my experience with talking with older people, it’s not that weird, maybe you see those clothes as something prohibited, so since you see them that way, you end up fetichizing them, as something you can’t do or well you could just like them but feel guilty because society tells you that it is something bad. And when you say you feel in a discriminatory way towards us, you mean it in a fetishizistic way or more like a violent one? I don’t know, I think that the fact that you at least acknowledge how you feel is a big step. For example I used to feel hate towards other trans people, because I wanted to be one of the “good ones”, but with time I realized it was stupid, and in the end I had no business in the way other people live or choose to express their transness. The first step to stop feeling that way was acknowledging it didn’t make sense and that it was more of a problem of how I felt about myself, let’s just say I was projecting my inner hate to other trans people. Try not to punish yourself too hard, you seem like nice person just kinda lost in the middle. Cheers!
I think you should seriously consider the possibility that you are trans. It sounds like you are coping with dissatisfaction with yourself through sexuality currently. Basically everything you mentioned, I have heard similar experiences from other trans woman. If you are already in therapy that may be a good place to explore that if your therapist is supportive of trans people. Good luck 💛
Another common thing about chasers I've heard is that they aren't very supportive of the woman wanting to alter things about themselves through surgery. I heard about specifically a chaser breaking up with a trans woman because she wanted to get bottom surgery done, and I guess he wasn't a fan because that's the part of her he actually found attractive? Basically, he wasn't interested in her happiness or anything about her other than that one thing
Omg they're the worst! My 1 year timeline topped hot on r/transtimelines and I got like 60-70 messages, literally just deleted everything in my inbox without looking at it after seeing a dick pic
As somebody who was genuinely worried i was a chaser i have realised that no I just like both parts and usually on more feminine presenting people thank you for helping
A well meaning barmaid once made my group of friends piss themselves laughing one time, when she took one of my trans-female friends aside and "warned" her that they thought I was a chaser as the barmaid had seen me in there with various trans-women and trans-men. What the barmaid wasn't aware of was, the local trans* meetup was nearby and myself and a few others would need to wait an hour or so for the next train home if we missed the last, so would come in for a drink. It wasn't every week, but it was often enough. We all decided to put the barmaid's mind at ease by having the whole transgroup finish early that next week and drop in collectively for a drink to at least say thank you for caring. :)
I'm in a few communities with a lot of trans women and you can see chasers coming from a mile away. Chasers often don't really talk about casual stuff. They'll only speak up when its about looks or something more sexual or mental health stuff like reminding someone they're pretty n stuff. None of these things are all that bad on your own, but if that's the only interaction you have with a community it gets creepy real fast.. Honestly though it's hard to give someone just 1 label. Sometimes people are just immature and they get crushes pretty quick and they just thrive of the fact a trans woman might gush easily over their compliments.. I've seen a lot of people abuse this too. Like really play into it acting like their friends and asking them for money for outfits n stuff. Its basically usually a shy inexperienced (usually cis guy) person interacting with someone gushing for compliments(usually early transition inexperienced trans women seeking validation). Which are like two stereotypes. And feeding into each others more toxic aspects. Being trans makes it easier to fall under such a stereotype more often and interact with them more easily. Result being the idea of the chaser. Though idk if it's always really about specifically fetishizing the idea of a trans woman. Even though it does usually result in that. Really the kind of stuff you don't want to see happen in a healthy community.
Hey Ashley, I absolutely love the respectful and very insightful videos you are producing. And I hope it helps everyone realize that beauty is actually from the inside. And thanks for all the great content!
context i’m transfem and have gotten chasery messages before even without ever posting pictures of myself but i honestly don’t think someone who is exclusively attracted to trans women is inherently bad and i think the word chaser should be reserved for people who are because it is associated with someone bad. as a bi person, this seems just as valid to me as otherwise having a strict preference for one type of body or another (female body, male body) as a lot of monosexual people seem to have. either way you don’t choose who you are attracted to so if someone is exclusively interested in trans women, they don’t have a say in that. however they do have a say in how they act and whether they are being dishonest and manipulative. that, to me, is what makes somebody a chaser. being so desperate as to systematically seek out trans people and by whatever means get them to have sex with them. even buying from transfeminine sex workers wouldn’t meet that as long as respect is maintained. basically, affirming people’s gender is great, being exclusively attracted to anything is neutral, manipulation and obsession is a big nono and something these people gotta fix about themselves. please don’t call people who are not that chasers because it relativises actually harmful people.
Glad we cleared that up! I'm new to your channel, it's very educational, don't really need to ask questions! I love the bits of dry British humor, you and Fin make a great team!
Half way through the video I JUST WANNA SAY IM NOT A CHASER IM LITERALLY TRANS I JUST LIKED THE SHIRT AND I WANNA BE POSITIVE HELP WHY DID SHE LITERALLY DEFINE MY COMMENT IM SORRY
The fetishization of an intrinsic aspect of a person, especially when it's something that leads to discrimination and/or is something they are uncomfortable with, is just plain disgusting Edit: Just to be clear, I am specifically referring to that single aspect being the only reason for attraction
I think my wife (who is trans) is hot and a big part of that is because she’s trans. Does that make me a chaser? We’re married and have been happy together now for 22 years.
there's more nuance to it than that, once you're well past the "making my fetish a problem for non-consenting strangers" aspect. but generally I agree with the sentiment.
Oooof. I feel this. In my egg state, I was worried I would come off as a chaser for being more interested in dating trans women than cis women, though I never did anything like what you've described in the video, as personality meant more to me than someone being trans or cis. What I didn't realise is that this was my subconscious' way of trying to make me realise I was a trans woman myself. Now I'm the trans woman with actual chasers in her Insta DMs 😮💨 The more interesting thing though is how many neurospicy trans fems are in my mentions and DMs, but in an entirely different way 😳
1st, love the blouse. (writing this at 1:57) 2nd, I'm glad you brought up race fetishization as a comparison because it has been something I feel I've been seeing more of recently. Despite it not happening directly to me (thankfully), because of a number of factors (don't work in the industry, don't put myself out there much at all, I'm mixed so I'm not the "right" archetype), it has definitely affected my viewing habits. It has gotten to the point where I can't watch black male/masc actors unless they are with black female/fem actresses without feeling personally gross. I think it is especially salient for me because my father was black and I have a white mom, and my longest term relationship was with a white woman. I am unsure if it translates to trans fetishization the same way, but I feel like there is an underlying negative connotation towards the fetishized group in the race case. 2:53 THAT'S IT. It feels dehumanizing! In the race case described, it is particularly like a connotation of being animalistic, violent, and savage.
it's a lucky thing that you can spot misogynists and like beta thinkers a million and one ways their immaturity bleeds through EVERYthing; you are some sort of trophy for them they are children dealing with rejection, they are terrified; it will be YEARS of growth and honesty before they can stop accidentally hurting people
Loved the editing, especially the "Icky Productions" part (Not so much the part, where I thought I was about to be headbutted), although based on the clip of the Christmas stream (?) which I remembered, I thought we would see a net and binoculars. Have a wonderful day enjoy every ounce of sleep you can get with a puppy.
Your videos make me feel like a normal person, and it's the best thing is the world. There's always transphobes and chasers eroding my confidence, self-worth, and my sense of validity, and hearing you cover these topics and provide another viewpoint is so grounding. Thank you for making my life so much less exhausting. Always dispelling my self doubt about my identity in an instant
Hey there sweetie, It took me a long ass time to figure out who I really was, and I went through some crazy shit to get here, but I'm fucking worth it, and so are you. Don't let anyone steal your happy. Best, Melody.
Back around 2021, I started getting a bit more into vintage femme glam after years of being more androgynous. I uploaded a couple images of myself in full makeup, and those ended up making me "the face that launched a thousand chasers" so to speak. And this wasn't on dating apps either, it was just on normal social media! Even after I got engaged and put "I'm engaged" in my bio everywhere, I still got them. Only thing that actually worked was deleting all my photos. I'm only just now getting more comfortable with posting pics of myself again.
My first chaser experience was a former reverend at a church. It sounds cliche, and it really really really really is. I saw it coming, but I gave the benefit of the doubt because I was newly transitioning. It got problematic when I told them *twice* that I had a partner, to indicate that I saw and rejected their advances, but they wouldn't stop, until I told someone who could do something about it. I left my job partially because it was rough during that essential worker time, and also because this person knew where I worked and when. I worked in the wee hours of 5am and he was up when I was! They're wild fam, stay safe my t siblings.
thank uuu so much for this video omg- i had been getting blindly groomed by a chaser and only just now kinda realized what it all means- he fits the exact description of a chaserrr T^T
I'm really enjoying your content! I have dated a couple of FtM guys, but currently talking to a trans girl and looking to learn more. It's good to get such a wide range of views from trans ladies on the internet! Stay safe out there ladles and gentlespoons (And don't worry, I've dated lots of CIS people, being autistic makes relationships hard so I had dated WAYYYY too many people)
This was a very cute, short, sweet video. I enjoyed it very much. To me, a chaser is NOT interested in you. They are interested in a single trait that has little to do with who you actually are. It's very disheartening to the baby trans, especially one that is potentially searching for a meaningful relationship. Luckily, transitioning at an older age gave me a little more insight to their approach. Initially, the sheer volume of chasers were what freaked me out. It was to the point where I became very concerned about safety. Congratulations on finding out early about who you are and being in a seemingly great relationship. Kudos on running a respectable and wholesome channel.
I love your content, but I have to say the video editing style in your channel is also fuking awesome. Not only the videos are relevant but also _very_ funny. Kudos to both you and the editor. Also I did notice your makeup way before you pointed out =]
I’ve never been with anybody “trans” and even though I’m admittedly a very exploratory sexual deviant, I find positively zero attraction in someone’s “pleasure center.” I am DEFINITELY attracted to femininity. That’s a must. Beyond that, PERSONALITY is paramount. Meaning it has to be both for me. Being completely humble here: I’ve positively NEVER given a SHIT about what people think about me. Truly. It’s a natural filter and I’ve always found people worth being around that way because they filter themselves out. What attracts me to SOME trans people is the same ability. That, despite it not being popular - even being demonized, if someone can show me that they JUST ARE WHO THEY ARE, without compromise… That’s such a beautiful trait. I do understand, though, that there’s a LOT of “bi-curious” guys who can use trans people as a way to explore a sexual desire without having to admit to themselves that they’re “NoT sTrAiGhT.” People who hate labels yet put themselves there on their own. As far as you and F1NN… People sending either of you thirsty messages are DEFINITELY “chasers.” They don’t respect your relationship whatsoever. That isn’t anything other than just. No matter your genitalia. And that’s not okay.
great video Icky i know ive had friends that have been "targeted" by people like that and it was awful for them and their self confidence, thanks for making this video :)
2:33 I'm bisexual. Cis-Het females have refused to date me for over 17 years, and I've been divorced 23 years. over two decades spent alone... that's why I do not have a problem dating trans-fems. if anyone will date me at all that is.
I’ve had a couple of very close friends who seemed to exclusively attract people like this. I’ve since stopped talking to them because I quit talking to everybody but, they were attracted to me because I treated them like human beings. It was complicated for me in both situations because I can be attracted to trans women but not s**ually. I’ve explored my s**xaulity, I know what I like and what just doesn’t do it for me. Imagine you care for someone but your boundaries hurt them AND your boundaries are what they are attracted to. So you leave in order to maintain your boundaries which just perpetuates their suffering and leaves you feeling like you are part of what is wrong with the world.
😂 The puppy being a chaser cracked me up. I KNEW it! I'm glad I watched this as it kind of brought up issues I'd not completely thought through like that they know what to say. I need to be careful...
Some people are extremely decisive and motivated. Sometimes to decisive and obsessive. The way to tell is by how excitable verses rash their personality is about other things.
It's normal to have preferences on whether you're more attracted to masculine or feminine people, and whether you're more attracted to penis or vagina. Trans people get all upset when people are attracted to their particular combination, for some reason.
Here is the thing, it can be as little as never being around you in public. That's what mine did. Got along great, loves most of the same stuff I did and vise versa. I'd go hang out, or he would come visit me. Set up a one month date and mysteriously had to work last min. Then it kept happening. Doesn't care to be with me, not seen in public, not with friends etc. I'm just a novelty. Most of the chasers are easy to find within 5 min of texting.. you do need to.watch, but there are good men and women out there.
I get that all the time people saying they love me without really knowing who I am, it's hard finding a genuine guy out there, what makes it hard for some of us is that there are others out there using there trans/crossdressing just to get sex, men seeing this makes them think that all who are transgender is doing it for sex only
When you first start to transition, it's very validating to get the attention of all these chasers. They are not a new phenomenon. After a while though you get to realise the things you mention in this video and soon chasers are not very interesting and best avoided. But we want to attract someone, so how do we distinguish between a chaser and someone who is genuinly interested in us? That takes time and experience and a lot of mistakes. I found it better to restrict my relationships to other trans women, mostly because we understand each other. But that does restrict the dating pool to a very small number of people. I do know a few trans women who have dated and married a straight guy but that is quite rare.
I feel like chaser is such diminutive way to refer to someones sexual preferences. Being sexualized for you sexual identity or being fetishized is gross, but have a preference for trans women should not be vilified.
Yuppers... chasers are very much a thing. I have only been out for a little over a year and omgosh... Lol wish I would have seen this video back then. BUT great job Icky, thanks! Keep it up!
Boy howdy was this video something I needed to hear. I've slowly come to realise I'm far more attracted to femininity than I am femaleness over the past 2 or 3 years. And I'm like a consent stan and hate making others uncomfortable, so I've just had this stress in the back of my head like "what if you're secretly accidentally doing a transphobia" Good to know the issue is more about freaks than people exploring
as a 30 year old transwoman that has been trans for 6 years now i did not know that this was a thing and i think im the only 1 that was thinking that ICKY was going to talk about a toyota chaser haha and i learnt something new today so thank you
Yay Icky upload, yur advice is never non useful girl- even for someone like me that is just born female it’s good to know things like what you go through in your experiences
Be careful chasers - it comes with a risk of chasing them all the way into becoming a girl yourself. Look how Finn ended up! I definitely have no experience with this phenomena irl though... i swear! I'm just wearing this skirt because it's too warm for pants in here!
The simple reason why someone would be a “chaser” is the fetishization the type of person that they are chasing after for a sexual reason. Think of it as their kink or fetish that they are into sexually. A set of major reasons why this is the case is because… 1) the person that the chaser is after is exotic to the chaser. 2) the person that the chaser is after is considered taboo, and thus desirable to the chaser. 3) the person that the chaser is after is what the chaser secretly desires to be, and thus they go after the type of person that they desire to be. Here’s more reasons but it mainly applies to chasers who are exploiting their own sexuality & trying to come to terms with their sexual preferences. People generally have major hangups about their sexuality & what turns them on sexually. But when a straight person goes after someone that is homosexual of the opposite gender as themselves…. they try to turn them straight. Or have this weird belief “they just haven’t found the right *blank*! That’s why they are gay!”. There’s the same phenomenon with homosexuals that try to turn a straight to gay… or at least turn them bi.
18+ sites, like the black and orange youtube, i believe worsen fetishization of the lgbtqia, like what you said about "turning them straight". and correct me if im wrong but 44% of all male rapists admitted they committed the crime because "they saw it on an 18+ site and wanted to try it". (im sorry if you cant make sense of my comment, i have autism and its hard for me to put together sentences 100% accurately)
@@Dragonmaballs pardon me for being a little bit...... Long winded...... Sorry....... If you're talking about every rapist ever. Then your info is wrong. But if you're just talking about rapist in the modern day. Well, your info is still not completely accurate. Hear me out please. Back in the 1950's in America. Little kids saw Superman jumping out of a window & was able to fly. So some little kids decided to do a cape (made from a blanket or some other cloth. preferably red) jumped out of the window. The ones that were stopped from doing this & the ones that survived from doing this was asked "why did you do that?" The most common answer was because they saw Superman do it on TV. People have always done things because that they saw it done before. The whole thing that this looks fun & what would happen if I did that. Why rapist rape in the first place is a psychological reason. Not because of something that they saw online or wherever. The whole thing I was saying about "turning them straight" is what I've heard often from my straight male friends about lesbians. They don't care if that these women are lesbian at all. They believe that these women became lesbian because that they haven't found the right guy. Plus these men like a challenge.
I had "friend" that I told I was trans, and later admitted that I had feelings for him. He would compliment me, but in a fetishy way. He would bring up changes to my body that hadn't even happened yet since I hadn't started HRT. When he realized I wasn't interested in being friends with benefits he lost interest and started dating another transfem he knew. I couldn't have dodged a bigger bullet with that one. I sure hope she's doing alright these days.
My girlfriend was the first one to reveal the realities of chasers to me and I can't say I was surprised, but I did feel really bad that this is a reality.
When I first heard this term I thought it was something very different, found you through finn but as an older straight white guy with only minimal exposure to queer people of different places on the sexual spectrum this is helpful since I don't want to be rude by over asking my trans friends.
Before the video even started, I thought a chaser was a drink 🥃 😅 You learn something new every day thank you 😊 Icky Have a good sleep because I’m pretty sure it’s nighttime in the United Kingdom
Heres some more nuance from a guy whos an ally but didnt grow up in the most supportive environment. So, fetishizing a unique demographic is a strange phenomena, but for some, the reason they develop this particular kink is because of some sort of compensation for their lack of experience/knowledge. The sudden and extreme interest suggests its a reaction to something. Nowdays, we are, as an overall society in developed countries, more accepting of lgbtqia+, racial, and societal justice, and because of this climate changing the environment poeple live in, there are new opportunities to explore ones attraction, sometimes leading to OVER compensation. Personally, this took form in a micro passing moment one day a few years ago. I saw someone walk by, thought to myself "oh hey thats an attractive person" and at some point they mentioned they were trans in their interaction with the other people wherever i was. It was less than a second, and it was simply a thought, but it helped me realize that im evolving. For people who arent as well adjusted, i can imagine that fleeing thought would raise a lot of questions and concerns, and societal acceptance of people, may cause that to overload. Great vid!
People confuse chasing with preference. Preferences don't mean exclusive and when someone says "this type of thing is my preference" most people in communities that are used to being on the defensive immediately put their guard up because they don't know if it's a genuine preference or a fetish thing which is understandable. There's nothing wrong with finding certain aspects more attractive than others, like having a preference for huge boobs doesn't make you a bad person, it's just when you ONLY care about thar and discount anyone who doesn't have that characteristic that it becomes chaser behavior.
When I started my transition,I was working in a grocery store and it's when older men started complimenting me in ways that didn't flattered my euphoria,sent chills down my spine....I was really feeling gross....:( as for attraction,I'm attracted to women,trans and femboys but not all for sexual reasons.
"That's just regular old attraction. You're not gonna be labeled nothing." I wish that was true. Only time I ever asked out a trans woman, she called me a chaser right away and turned some mutual friends against me. Here's the thing: I didn't even know she was trans. I had to Google the term chaser and didn't understand why she'd called me that until I asked one of those mutual friends, who'd known her much longer, and he told me.
I'm a transfemme. Genital preference isn't the problem. I'd rather be with someone who's attracted to my body including my genitals, than someone who's attracted to me in spite of them. Someone not treating me like a full person and only objectifying me is the problem. Objectification is the problem, not them prefering my genitals over a cis woman's.
Yes, it's the manipulative and dehumanizing shit that is the problem not the attraction in itself. Just be normal and don't do shit that wouldn't be okay in any other relationship, lol.
In other words, having a preference for trans women over cis people is not a problem, it's just a preference. The problem arises when it's just for the thrill, for the fetish; that's dehumanizing. Beware: even if you are in a "serious" relationship with such a person, they might still see you as that trophy/object/pet. You have to see through the bullshit and find a real, whole, emphatic person who truly loves you.
Yes so much this
When I was younger, we had the distinction between an admirer and a chaser. A chaser just wanted your junk and to act out specific fantasies, most often to be topped because it was a less scary proposition than being topped by another dude. Admirers, on the other hand, were definitely into your junk, but also you as a person and would pursue an actual relationship. It was a big tell whether a dude was a chaser or an admirer if they refused to introduce you to their friends or family, an admirer could have hang-ups about introducing you but would make an effort (it was the 90s after all), where a chaser wanted you to be their dirty little secret and even potentially get violent if you talked about wanting to meet their social circle.
at least for me, genital preference is at least a pretty big part of the problem. i couldnt date someone who likes the part of myself i hate the most and am extremely dysphoric about.
you are right about objectification being most of the problem though, especially for trans people who dont have bottom dysphoria.
it is also true though that a 'genital preference' and objectification super frequently go hand in hand.
"2 chasers btw" One chases balls and the other one chases... balls?
I read that as cheese balls and was confused for a good 5 minutes
So what you're saying is... the chasers were the traps themselves all along?
The real traps were the chasers we dodged along the way
oHhhohhhOOOhhhHhhhh! no I mean it makes perfect sense. Best uno-reverse trans card I have ever heard.
Come on, grow up…this is just typical male behaviour…just with a different sexual preference.
As a cis guy with a bunch of trans friends, I'm always worried that I might be acting like a chaser. My closest friend sent me this video saying "4head this is why you arent a chaser lmao"
You can be friends with trans people without being a chaser. Me and my gf are trans and I have cis guy roommate who hangs out with us all the time, and we occasionally invite other trans people to hang out. He gets along with us because he's a genuine and kind person. As long as you aren't romanticizing or fetishizing the trans people, you're fine. You are just being a normal person and its perfectly acceptable to have lots of trans friends if they feel comfortable around you.
Just be a decent human being. Respect people for who they are. Be there if they need help. Just adding things that should be common knowledge.
trans gals are cool and have cool hobbies.
Have made several trans lady friends by going on autistic rambles about warhammer 40k.
Me: Slaanesh is the coolest chaos god
trans gal: OMG SAME
*friend invite received*
@@Zectifin Hell yeah 40K
@@jadeviper1290i'm sure this isn't what u meant but i wouldn't have said "romanticizing" there. i am a trans woman into men and they'd Better romanticize me. fetishization is a different story ofc
Before my egg cracked I thought I was a chaser, but then I realized I just have a strong preference for people I can relate to
I’ve dealt with a lot of trans man chasers in my day. Every once in a while still find one. They expect me to be a sub bottom. When I explain that I’m a dom top, they scatter like roaches. It’s actually really funny
What was the chasers gender? Just being curious
@@hukihuki4135 all of them were cis men
It’s kind of weird when she said that it doesn’t happen to trans men a lot, because as a trans woman, I’ve seen a lot trans men be fetishized
@@christinewarden3450 exactly. That was the only thing I didn’t understand in the video. Trans men get hella chasers. We talk about it on Reddit all the time. Lol
@@DamienXavier1828i did not know this !!! … updating my knowledge base now 👍
When I was first discovering myself and asking for help coming terms with my gender identity and sexuality, I got labeled as a chaser and kicked out of the communities I was in
similar happened to me but because I was seeing a trans girl for a bit. her open-relationship boyfriend (that i didnt know about) spread it. People can be quite horrible. I'm sorry you experienced that, I hope you're good now!
@@Mildon44 yeah I am thanks. I've figured myself out and I'm feeling good. Gonna make a doctor's appointment to figure out about HRT still
@@JamTHEdog thats awesome! Hope it all goes well!
Was going to say this sounds a lot like t4t before they know they are t.
the classic chaser 2 trans pipeline
I feel like i should put in my 2 cents here. for some time i was worried that i was or at least seemed like a chaser. I by no means "exclusively" go for trans people, but i felt more attracted to someone knowing they were. two things happened to make me realize that wasn't really the case for me though. the first was when I got called out on it, was talking to a girl and when the topic came up, i said something along the lines of "i actually prefer it" and she called me out pretty fast after that. i thought about it at that point and realized it was not a fetishization thing, but rather a respect thing. something i find very attractive in people is the ability to be unabashedly true to themselves. people who dont hide who they are. and coming out as trans, especially going through the process of transitioning takes alot of that honesty and determination to be true to yourself. I had nothing but the upmost respect for the people who push past all the social, legal, and interpersonal issues to do that.
The second thing... figured out i was trans as well (shocker i know) so alot of it was probly envy too.
That doesn't sound like envy, jealousy or just respect like you say but envy sounds to harsh. To me it doesn't sound like you resented them. I used to have problems with envy and it's a disgusting feeling.
@@adamlagerqvist8111 envy isn't a inherently negative feeling or emotion. There are a few different interpretations. In the ditch language there is benijden, or benign envy which is more about recognizing others being better off and aspiring to be so yourself. Whilst Aristotle defined envy as pain at the sight of another's good fortune and "stirred by those who have what we ought to have". When I said envy in my post, was primarily using it in the ditch benign envy interpretation. While it's still classified as a negative emotion due to the "unpleasant" feeling, I wouldn't say its destructive or unproductive, it's what drives people to do better.
So this is me except I didn't find out I was trans. I've been a death metal musician for over 20 years. I have what I guess people would describe as an alternative look. Long hair, camo pants, combat boots l, combat vest with patches, black band t shirt with something evil on it you get the picture. I was bullied for it when I was first growing out my hair when I was 13 and I overcame by deciding I didn't give a fuck what people thought about me when it came to that anymore. Which is not really a healthy way to deal with it. So I greatly admire trans peope being themselves constabtly searching for healthy ways to love themselves and get the love that they deserve. It just so happens that I am also attracted to that kind of person trans or not but a lot of trans people fit that description.
Lmao I was waiting for the second point. That really sounded like an egg behavior.
Which doesn't bode well for me because I'm also in that same category of "cis guy in admiration and respectful of trans people"
“I’m watching my boyfriend and puppy go outside so he can pee. The puppy not the boyfriend”
Thanks for the clarification, my first thought was that it was Finn going to pee outside. 😂
"Walkies F1nn, be good boy and go pee pee?"😆
It's because Finn's sink privileges have been revoked.
Wonder if that’s coming to the battlepass 😜 (I AM SO SORRY)
I mean he's british. The british love peeing outside, ask any Amsterdam citizen.
I think the term is also used in other communities that get chased. People with a disability or amputated limb for instance.
I was about to comment this, it's important to remember that chaser isn't always about trans women, I've heard the term chubby chaser at least, which is pretty self explanatory, but I also imagine it's used for lots of other stuff.
@@bacon.cheesecake the problem with the term chubby chaser sucks because its mostly lobbed at guys who are attracted to fat women, but its not just some kind of a fetish (most of the time). usually its used as a way to indirectly fat shame the woman by shaming the man willing to date her.
Oh dear God, I hadn't even thought of that. That's... That's messed up. I have nothing to add. I'm only commenting out of shock. Fuck, that's *so* gross. Jesus.
My girlfriend who is bisexual has a preference for trans people, but I think it's different than being a chaser. She prefers trans people because in her experience, trans men and women tend to be harder workers, they tend to be more compassionate and understanding, they're much better at boundaries, and they're just all-around awesome people. I'm a trans woman, and I don't feel objectified being in a relationship with her. She loves me because I'm awesome (her words)!
Nope, Sounds like a Chaser.
Preferences = fetishes remember
youre giving me hope 😭
@@fragmos264 Im glad! You deserve to feel hopeful.
My life has been really really hard, and i know you've heard this before, but I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel if you keep holding on! There's bound to be a wonderful person out there if thats what you're looking for.
@@theaxolotl77 You seem so nice, im happy you found someone deserving of your love and attention
In the case of a bi person, wouldn't being with someone trans kinda be like "having your cake and eating it too"? 🙊 (Is that wrong to say/imply?)
the chaser on the finn stream was so funny bro sounded like he was gonna throw pokéballs at trans ppl
Tank is a chaser? He's already learning to play fetch!
In the old days they were called transfans and the worst thing was that they wanted to pressurize you not to transition, especially not to go to the bottom surgery. OTOH, going to get your SRS done was a good way to get rid of them.
Such extremities.
That's not a good enough reason to transition.
@@brett22bt Thats not for you to decide
@@leanansidhe6332 OK, let me rephrase it then. That would be an extremely unhealthy reason to transition.
@@brett22bt SRS =/= transition, and I doubt people were getting surgery to scare off chasers. It's just a beneficial side effect.
Did you do your makeup differently? I love it!
if ur wondering what it is, she has white eyeliner rounding out her eyes, she usually just wears mascara i think
Such a queen
as a transguy i also had some chasers texting me before and as soon as i say that im not interested they always start insulting and misgendering me lmao
As a trans woman, I’ve seen a lot of trans men be fetishized, and it sucks to see your guys experiences dismissed
that is one aspect of chasers. They are often quite transphobic underneath. They will love bomb you as long as they thing they're going to get what they want. But fundamentally they are often full of bigotry. Probably what makes sleeping with a trans girl soo exciting for them, the self imposed taboo they are breaking
Thats so bogus
There are a lot of chasers out there. Some couples are chasers together. I am usually creeped out and a little bit flattered at the same time, but I am not an object to be fetishized.
I have never seen a chaser couple before
@@Circ00mspice Oh they're annoying, they always come at you with the angle of "hey, my partner and I are looking for a third and we're super open-minded"
Sounds flattering until you realize that they're "open-minded" because they see you as some kind of freak, not as an actual person
yea... really gives me the ew-phoria 😅😓
they "really like your 'vibes'"
"Instagram baddy, irl loser" is so relatable
There's this trans woman I see every day, I tried talking to her but everyone gave me weird looks while I did. Maybe I should stop talking to myself
Had to read this a few times, but when I got it, it was extremely funny
haha, i found this very funny, thats going in my comedic act
im signed in to an alt to type this because this is a topic i have been avoiding for a long time, even to myself.
i am not a trans woman, in fact im about as basic as its gets (cis hetero m). i have struggled with depression for over a year now, and have been working hard to fix my self-image issues. i have a number of f3tishes, all of which feed heavily into my guilt complex. im so disgusted by myself all the time, and just in the last few months after telling one to my therapist for the first time, i almost ended it all. im getting treatment but i think there are things beyond medication that ill need in order to live with myself.
i dont know why, but i am drawn to mtf individuals in a way that i can only describe as discriminatory. i have never acted on such urges, nor other urges that plague my mind, but its something that i feel that i cant ignore. clearly its related to why i go into rabbit holes of watching finnster videos and your videos by association. i feel overwhelmingly guilty about how this whole thing makes me feel and sometimes i just dont know what to do with these emotions.
i just wanted to write this to hopefully add another dimension to the discussion. yes, online predators are bad and there is nothing good to be said about those that shame others for their own self-gratification. beyond those individuals, i imagine im not the only person who feels that they are a bit lost in the spectrum. i bought some women's clothes online in secret, and this was only after months of torment wanting to change how i look, and now that i have them i feel like its just a f3tish as you said in a previous video.
i really feel like i need to unsubscribe for my own good, but i know the cycle of seeking content/feeling guilty will happen again. if you have any advice or would want to chat, and that is mainly directed to other commentors here, drop a line. it might make me feel better to talk things out. thank you.
Sorry to hear that. It's a little difficult to know where to draw the line between objectification and appreciation, I know for some people. Hopefully you can use your common sense, you are a good person 💙
thx.
ty for sharing
I think you could be trans or a femboy or just a cis het guy who likes to dress in a feminine way? I don’t think you need to label yourself if you feel you are on a discovery path.
Sorry if I’m misunderstanding your point , but from what you say, I understand that you get some sexual arousal from the clothes or something like that?
In my experience with talking with older people, it’s not that weird, maybe you see those clothes as something prohibited, so since you see them that way, you end up fetichizing them, as something you can’t do or well you could just like them but feel guilty because society tells you that it is something bad.
And when you say you feel in a discriminatory way towards us, you mean it in a fetishizistic way or more like a violent one? I don’t know, I think that the fact that you at least acknowledge how you feel is a big step.
For example I used to feel hate towards other trans people, because I wanted to be one of the “good ones”, but with time I realized it was stupid, and in the end I had no business in the way other people live or choose to express their transness.
The first step to stop feeling that way was acknowledging it didn’t make sense and that it was more of a problem of how I felt about myself, let’s just say I was projecting my inner hate to other trans people.
Try not to punish yourself too hard, you seem like nice person just kinda lost in the middle. Cheers!
I think you should seriously consider the possibility that you are trans. It sounds like you are coping with dissatisfaction with yourself through sexuality currently. Basically everything you mentioned, I have heard similar experiences from other trans woman. If you are already in therapy that may be a good place to explore that if your therapist is supportive of trans people. Good luck 💛
Another common thing about chasers I've heard is that they aren't very supportive of the woman wanting to alter things about themselves through surgery. I heard about specifically a chaser breaking up with a trans woman because she wanted to get bottom surgery done, and I guess he wasn't a fan because that's the part of her he actually found attractive? Basically, he wasn't interested in her happiness or anything about her other than that one thing
Yup
Maybe that chaser is a closet gay man
genitals matter and it can be a deal breaker. It has nothing to do with wanting or not wanting the happiness of the partner.
i've been on estrogen for 5 months and i already had at least 10 people like that message me and it's just so annoying
wish i was on estrogen 😭
Ewww I’m sorry babe :(
I got about 20 creepy DM’s the first time I posted a pic of me in a dress. It’s not nice
Omg they're the worst! My 1 year timeline topped hot on r/transtimelines and I got like 60-70 messages, literally just deleted everything in my inbox without looking at it after seeing a dick pic
You were so scary and intimidating on this video I was watching and shaking and shivering of fear
She does exude a bit of mom energy this video, going "stay away from the bad boys *mkay*?"
As somebody who was genuinely worried i was a chaser i have realised that no I just like both parts and usually on more feminine presenting people thank you for helping
Aw same
I think many of us are just attracted to feminine humans. We like humans who look and act like women. I'll admit, it can be very confusing at first.
A well meaning barmaid once made my group of friends piss themselves laughing one time, when she took one of my trans-female friends aside and "warned" her that they thought I was a chaser as the barmaid had seen me in there with various trans-women and trans-men. What the barmaid wasn't aware of was, the local trans* meetup was nearby and myself and a few others would need to wait an hour or so for the next train home if we missed the last, so would come in for a drink. It wasn't every week, but it was often enough. We all decided to put the barmaid's mind at ease by having the whole transgroup finish early that next week and drop in collectively for a drink to at least say thank you for caring. :)
I'm in a few communities with a lot of trans women and you can see chasers coming from a mile away. Chasers often don't really talk about casual stuff. They'll only speak up when its about looks or something more sexual or mental health stuff like reminding someone they're pretty n stuff. None of these things are all that bad on your own, but if that's the only interaction you have with a community it gets creepy real fast.. Honestly though it's hard to give someone just 1 label. Sometimes people are just immature and they get crushes pretty quick and they just thrive of the fact a trans woman might gush easily over their compliments.. I've seen a lot of people abuse this too. Like really play into it acting like their friends and asking them for money for outfits n stuff. Its basically usually a shy inexperienced (usually cis guy) person interacting with someone gushing for compliments(usually early transition inexperienced trans women seeking validation). Which are like two stereotypes. And feeding into each others more toxic aspects. Being trans makes it easier to fall under such a stereotype more often and interact with them more easily. Result being the idea of the chaser. Though idk if it's always really about specifically fetishizing the idea of a trans woman. Even though it does usually result in that. Really the kind of stuff you don't want to see happen in a healthy community.
I really like your makeup in this vid. Especially the eye liner, some people just go nuts with that. A beautiful and subtle look!
Its makeup? I was worried it was sleep related or something
Hey Ashley, I absolutely love the respectful and very insightful videos you are producing. And I hope it helps everyone realize that beauty is actually from the inside. And thanks for all the great content!
This is a really thoughtful video but i wanted to say you are posatively glowing, the new makeup look is sooo pretty
thank you for the video! you have such comforting vibes and I love your eye makeup! :)
context i’m transfem and have gotten chasery messages before even without ever posting pictures of myself
but i honestly don’t think someone who is exclusively attracted to trans women is inherently bad and i think the word chaser should be reserved for people who are because it is associated with someone bad.
as a bi person, this seems just as valid to me as otherwise having a strict preference for one type of body or another (female body, male body) as a lot of monosexual people seem to have. either way you don’t choose who you are attracted to so if someone is exclusively interested in trans women, they don’t have a say in that.
however they do have a say in how they act and whether they are being dishonest and manipulative. that, to me, is what makes somebody a chaser. being so desperate as to systematically seek out trans people and by whatever means get them to have sex with them. even buying from transfeminine sex workers wouldn’t meet that as long as respect is maintained.
basically, affirming people’s gender is great, being exclusively attracted to anything is neutral, manipulation and obsession is a big nono and something these people gotta fix about themselves.
please don’t call people who are not that chasers because it relativises actually harmful people.
agreed!
Glad we cleared that up! I'm new to your channel, it's very educational, don't really need to ask questions! I love the bits of dry British humor, you and Fin make a great team!
That shirt makes you look so cozy and brings out the warmth in your skin and makeup and I think it looks very pretty :)
Half way through the video I JUST WANNA SAY IM NOT A CHASER IM LITERALLY TRANS I JUST LIKED THE SHIRT AND I WANNA BE POSITIVE HELP WHY DID SHE LITERALLY DEFINE MY COMMENT IM SORRY
💀
The fetishization of an intrinsic aspect of a person, especially when it's something that leads to discrimination and/or is something they are uncomfortable with, is just plain disgusting
Edit: Just to be clear, I am specifically referring to that single aspect being the only reason for attraction
A bit strong. Lots of people have sexual preferences.
@@xaneres1 This isn't about a sexual prefrence
I think my wife (who is trans) is hot and a big part of that is because she’s trans. Does that make me a chaser? We’re married and have been happy together now for 22 years.
there's more nuance to it than that, once you're well past the "making my fetish a problem for non-consenting strangers" aspect.
but generally I agree with the sentiment.
i don't think her being trans would be the reason, like if she magically turned cis tomorrow, would you continue loving her?
@@exnihilo415
yoo the editing arc!!! the skills are improving every video and it is AWESOME. good vid
I think she's got a bunch of different editors (maybe shares some with finn?) so I think they're all at different skill levels
@@cinemetas7552 maybe just the style solidifying then? either way very good and somehow getting better every vid.
Oooof. I feel this. In my egg state, I was worried I would come off as a chaser for being more interested in dating trans women than cis women, though I never did anything like what you've described in the video, as personality meant more to me than someone being trans or cis. What I didn't realise is that this was my subconscious' way of trying to make me realise I was a trans woman myself. Now I'm the trans woman with actual chasers in her Insta DMs 😮💨 The more interesting thing though is how many neurospicy trans fems are in my mentions and DMs, but in an entirely different way 😳
Heh, seems to be alot of us in the "chaser"2trans category. Maybe we should start a club or something.
1st, love the blouse. (writing this at 1:57)
2nd, I'm glad you brought up race fetishization as a comparison because it has been something I feel I've been seeing more of recently. Despite it not happening directly to me (thankfully), because of a number of factors (don't work in the industry, don't put myself out there much at all, I'm mixed so I'm not the "right" archetype), it has definitely affected my viewing habits. It has gotten to the point where I can't watch black male/masc actors unless they are with black female/fem actresses without feeling personally gross.
I think it is especially salient for me because my father was black and I have a white mom, and my longest term relationship was with a white woman.
I am unsure if it translates to trans fetishization the same way, but I feel like there is an underlying negative connotation towards the fetishized group in the race case.
2:53 THAT'S IT. It feels dehumanizing! In the race case described, it is particularly like a connotation of being animalistic, violent, and savage.
it's a lucky thing that you can spot misogynists and like beta thinkers a million and one ways
their immaturity bleeds through EVERYthing; you are some sort of trophy for them
they are children dealing with rejection, they are terrified;
it will be YEARS of growth and honesty before they can stop accidentally hurting people
I think this video should be on the core learning syllabus for folks transitioning.
Loved the editing, especially the "Icky Productions" part (Not so much the part, where I thought I was about to be headbutted), although based on the clip of the Christmas stream (?) which I remembered, I thought we would see a net and binoculars. Have a wonderful day enjoy every ounce of sleep you can get with a puppy.
Your videos make me feel like a normal person, and it's the best thing is the world. There's always transphobes and chasers eroding my confidence, self-worth, and my sense of validity, and hearing you cover these topics and provide another viewpoint is so grounding. Thank you for making my life so much less exhausting. Always dispelling my self doubt about my identity in an instant
Hey there sweetie,
It took me a long ass time to figure out who I really was, and I went through some crazy shit to get here, but I'm fucking worth it, and so are you. Don't let anyone steal your happy.
Best,
Melody.
Back around 2021, I started getting a bit more into vintage femme glam after years of being more androgynous. I uploaded a couple images of myself in full makeup, and those ended up making me "the face that launched a thousand chasers" so to speak. And this wasn't on dating apps either, it was just on normal social media! Even after I got engaged and put "I'm engaged" in my bio everywhere, I still got them. Only thing that actually worked was deleting all my photos. I'm only just now getting more comfortable with posting pics of myself again.
You’re so intelligent, I just love getting a glimpse of how your mind works
My first chaser experience was a former reverend at a church. It sounds cliche, and it really really really really is. I saw it coming, but I gave the benefit of the doubt because I was newly transitioning. It got problematic when I told them *twice* that I had a partner, to indicate that I saw and rejected their advances, but they wouldn't stop, until I told someone who could do something about it. I left my job partially because it was rough during that essential worker time, and also because this person knew where I worked and when. I worked in the wee hours of 5am and he was up when I was! They're wild fam, stay safe my t siblings.
ok
thank uuu so much for this video omg- i had been getting blindly groomed by a chaser and only just now kinda realized what it all means- he fits the exact description of a chaserrr T^T
I'm really enjoying your content! I have dated a couple of FtM guys, but currently talking to a trans girl and looking to learn more. It's good to get such a wide range of views from trans ladies on the internet! Stay safe out there ladles and gentlespoons (And don't worry, I've dated lots of CIS people, being autistic makes relationships hard so I had dated WAYYYY too many people)
This was a very cute, short, sweet video. I enjoyed it very much. To me, a chaser is NOT interested in you. They are interested in a single trait that has little to do with who you actually are. It's very disheartening to the baby trans, especially one that is potentially searching for a meaningful relationship. Luckily, transitioning at an older age gave me a little more insight to their approach. Initially, the sheer volume of chasers were what freaked me out. It was to the point where I became very concerned about safety. Congratulations on finding out early about who you are and being in a seemingly great relationship. Kudos on running a respectable and wholesome channel.
I love your content, but I have to say the video editing style in your channel is also fuking awesome. Not only the videos are relevant but also _very_ funny. Kudos to both you and the editor. Also I did notice your makeup way before you pointed out =]
A chaser is someone who sees a trans person as an object, not a human
love your makeup!
I’ve never been with anybody “trans” and even though I’m admittedly a very exploratory sexual deviant, I find positively zero attraction in someone’s “pleasure center.”
I am DEFINITELY attracted to femininity. That’s a must. Beyond that, PERSONALITY is paramount. Meaning it has to be both for me.
Being completely humble here: I’ve positively NEVER given a SHIT about what people think about me. Truly. It’s a natural filter and I’ve always found people worth being around that way because they filter themselves out.
What attracts me to SOME trans people is the same ability. That, despite it not being popular - even being demonized, if someone can show me that they JUST ARE WHO THEY ARE, without compromise… That’s such a beautiful trait.
I do understand, though, that there’s a LOT of “bi-curious” guys who can use trans people as a way to explore a sexual desire without having to admit to themselves that they’re “NoT sTrAiGhT.” People who hate labels yet put themselves there on their own.
As far as you and F1NN… People sending either of you thirsty messages are DEFINITELY “chasers.” They don’t respect your relationship whatsoever.
That isn’t anything other than just. No matter your genitalia. And that’s not okay.
great video Icky i know ive had friends that have been "targeted" by people like that and it was awful for them and their self confidence, thanks for making this video :)
2:33 I'm bisexual. Cis-Het females have refused to date me for over 17 years, and I've been divorced 23 years. over two decades spent alone... that's why I do not have a problem dating trans-fems. if anyone will date me at all that is.
Your makeup is so pretty
I really like this makeup look on you! It works! You look really pretty! Not to say you don’t always look gorgeous just.. yea.. you look nice is all
I’ve had a couple of very close friends who seemed to exclusively attract people like this. I’ve since stopped talking to them because I quit talking to everybody but, they were attracted to me because I treated them like human beings. It was complicated for me in both situations because I can be attracted to trans women but not s**ually. I’ve explored my s**xaulity, I know what I like and what just doesn’t do it for me. Imagine you care for someone but your boundaries hurt them AND your boundaries are what they are attracted to. So you leave in order to maintain your boundaries which just perpetuates their suffering and leaves you feeling like you are part of what is wrong with the world.
😂 The puppy being a chaser cracked me up. I KNEW it!
I'm glad I watched this as it kind of brought up issues I'd not completely thought through like that they know what to say.
I need to be careful...
Some people are extremely decisive and motivated. Sometimes to decisive and obsessive. The way to tell is by how excitable verses rash their personality is about other things.
It's normal to have preferences on whether you're more attracted to masculine or feminine people, and whether you're more attracted to penis or vagina. Trans people get all upset when people are attracted to their particular combination, for some reason.
Here is the thing, it can be as little as never being around you in public. That's what mine did. Got along great, loves most of the same stuff I did and vise versa. I'd go hang out, or he would come visit me. Set up a one month date and mysteriously had to work last min. Then it kept happening. Doesn't care to be with me, not seen in public, not with friends etc. I'm just a novelty. Most of the chasers are easy to find within 5 min of texting.. you do need to.watch, but there are good men and women out there.
I get that all the time people saying they love me without really knowing who I am, it's hard finding a genuine guy out there, what makes it hard for some of us is that there are others out there using there trans/crossdressing just to get sex, men seeing this makes them think that all who are transgender is doing it for sex only
When you first start to transition, it's very validating to get the attention of all these chasers. They are not a new phenomenon. After a while though you get to realise the things you mention in this video and soon chasers are not very interesting and best avoided. But we want to attract someone, so how do we distinguish between a chaser and someone who is genuinly interested in us? That takes time and experience and a lot of mistakes. I found it better to restrict my relationships to other trans women, mostly because we understand each other. But that does restrict the dating pool to a very small number of people. I do know a few trans women who have dated and married a straight guy but that is quite rare.
YAYAY ICKY POST RIGHT AFTER CLASS LETS GOOOOO :DDDDD
I love how she had to clarify “the puppy not the boyfriend” cause let’s be honest. Finn totally would. 😂
Always enjoy your videos hope you have a great day
I was worried I was a secret chaser in high school. Turns out I was just a closeted trans girl grappling with gender envy.
Same, I went through this when I was in my 20s and figuring out myself, now I'm just happily t4t.😊
you slayed the makeup :D
I feel like chaser is such diminutive way to refer to someones sexual preferences. Being sexualized for you sexual identity or being fetishized is gross, but have a preference for trans women should not be vilified.
omg the fit today~ lookin great
Yuppers... chasers are very much a thing. I have only been out for a little over a year and omgosh... Lol wish I would have seen this video back then. BUT great job Icky, thanks! Keep it up!
There's also another scary aspect where chasers can and will use your insecurities against you to control you.
Ty for being informative and funny
I love that you're pointing out explicitly and rationally how chasers' dehumanization of women is, in the end, a trap.
Boy howdy was this video something I needed to hear. I've slowly come to realise I'm far more attracted to femininity than I am femaleness over the past 2 or 3 years. And I'm like a consent stan and hate making others uncomfortable, so I've just had this stress in the back of my head like "what if you're secretly accidentally doing a transphobia"
Good to know the issue is more about freaks than people exploring
As a subscriber I wish u reach million sub's very soon for your lovely personality and pretty look😊❤
Very informative, thank you!
as a 30 year old transwoman that has been trans for 6 years now i did not know that this was a thing and i think im the only 1 that was thinking that ICKY was going to talk about a toyota chaser haha and i learnt something new today so thank you
Thanks for the heads-up. I just started HRT and holding back from posting some stuff but im not ready because people just suck.
Icky I just want to say that your hair is really pretty in this video
Yay Icky upload, yur advice is never non useful girl- even for someone like me that is just born female it’s good to know things like what you go through in your experiences
Love your videos ❤
Be careful chasers - it comes with a risk of chasing them all the way into becoming a girl yourself. Look how Finn ended up!
I definitely have no experience with this phenomena irl though... i swear! I'm just wearing this skirt because it's too warm for pants in here!
love your talk and get people to learn and understand. Stay safe out there . an please be nice in komments...jokes go nowhere in time.
Your new(?) camera is showing off your beauty :) Like the new camera.
Thanks for the last part. I was kinda scared of myself for a moment. bla
The simple reason why someone would be a “chaser” is the fetishization the type of person that they are chasing after for a sexual reason. Think of it as their kink or fetish that they are into sexually. A set of major reasons why this is the case is because…
1) the person that the chaser is after is exotic to the chaser.
2) the person that the chaser is after is considered taboo, and thus desirable to the chaser.
3) the person that the chaser is after is what the chaser secretly desires to be, and thus they go after the type of person that they desire to be.
Here’s more reasons but it mainly applies to chasers who are exploiting their own sexuality & trying to come to terms with their sexual preferences. People generally have major hangups about their sexuality & what turns them on sexually.
But when a straight person goes after someone that is homosexual of the opposite gender as themselves…. they try to turn them straight. Or have this weird belief “they just haven’t found the right *blank*! That’s why they are gay!”.
There’s the same phenomenon with homosexuals that try to turn a straight to gay… or at least turn them bi.
18+ sites, like the black and orange youtube, i believe worsen fetishization of the lgbtqia, like what you said about "turning them straight".
and correct me if im wrong but 44% of all male rapists admitted they committed the crime because "they saw it on an 18+ site and wanted to try it".
(im sorry if you cant make sense of my comment, i have autism and its hard for me to put together sentences 100% accurately)
@@Dragonmaballs pardon me for being a little bit......
Long winded......
Sorry.......
If you're talking about every rapist ever. Then your info is wrong. But if you're just talking about rapist in the modern day. Well, your info is still not completely accurate.
Hear me out please.
Back in the 1950's in America. Little kids saw Superman jumping out of a window & was able to fly. So some little kids decided to do a cape (made from a blanket or some other cloth. preferably red) jumped out of the window. The ones that were stopped from doing this & the ones that survived from doing this was asked "why did you do that?" The most common answer was because they saw Superman do it on TV.
People have always done things because that they saw it done before. The whole thing that this looks fun & what would happen if I did that.
Why rapist rape in the first place is a psychological reason. Not because of something that they saw online or wherever.
The whole thing I was saying about "turning them straight" is what I've heard often from my straight male friends about lesbians.
They don't care if that these women are lesbian at all.
They believe that these women became lesbian because that they haven't found the right guy.
Plus these men like a challenge.
ok thaank you
@@Dragonmaballs I am truly sorry that I was so long winded.
@@KanchidoShinokyoufu ok
I had "friend" that I told I was trans, and later admitted that I had feelings for him. He would compliment me, but in a fetishy way. He would bring up changes to my body that hadn't even happened yet since I hadn't started HRT. When he realized I wasn't interested in being friends with benefits he lost interest and started dating another transfem he knew. I couldn't have dodged a bigger bullet with that one. I sure hope she's doing alright these days.
My girlfriend was the first one to reveal the realities of chasers to me and I can't say I was surprised, but I did feel really bad that this is a reality.
The headboard is fine. Looks comfy.🙂
When I first heard this term I thought it was something very different, found you through finn but as an older straight white guy with only minimal exposure to queer people of different places on the sexual spectrum this is helpful since I don't want to be rude by over asking my trans friends.
Chubby chaser was where I heard the term first . Can never look at the gameshow the chaser the same again .
Before the video even started, I thought a chaser was a drink 🥃 😅
You learn something new every day thank you 😊
Icky
Have a good sleep because I’m pretty sure it’s nighttime in the United Kingdom
Heres some more nuance from a guy whos an ally but didnt grow up in the most supportive environment.
So, fetishizing a unique demographic is a strange phenomena, but for some, the reason they develop this particular kink is because of some sort of compensation for their lack of experience/knowledge. The sudden and extreme interest suggests its a reaction to something.
Nowdays, we are, as an overall society in developed countries, more accepting of lgbtqia+, racial, and societal justice, and because of this climate changing the environment poeple live in, there are new opportunities to explore ones attraction, sometimes leading to OVER compensation.
Personally, this took form in a micro passing moment one day a few years ago. I saw someone walk by, thought to myself "oh hey thats an attractive person" and at some point they mentioned they were trans in their interaction with the other people wherever i was. It was less than a second, and it was simply a thought, but it helped me realize that im evolving. For people who arent as well adjusted, i can imagine that fleeing thought would raise a lot of questions and concerns, and societal acceptance of people, may cause that to overload.
Great vid!
ICKY back - hope you are well - You a chaser never!
People confuse chasing with preference. Preferences don't mean exclusive and when someone says "this type of thing is my preference" most people in communities that are used to being on the defensive immediately put their guard up because they don't know if it's a genuine preference or a fetish thing which is understandable. There's nothing wrong with finding certain aspects more attractive than others, like having a preference for huge boobs doesn't make you a bad person, it's just when you ONLY care about thar and discount anyone who doesn't have that characteristic that it becomes chaser behavior.
I love your eye makeup lol
When I started my transition,I was working in a grocery store and it's when older men started complimenting me in ways that didn't flattered my euphoria,sent chills down my spine....I was really feeling gross....:( as for attraction,I'm attracted to women,trans and femboys but not all for sexual reasons.
"That's just regular old attraction. You're not gonna be labeled nothing."
I wish that was true. Only time I ever asked out a trans woman, she called me a chaser right away and turned some mutual friends against me. Here's the thing: I didn't even know she was trans. I had to Google the term chaser and didn't understand why she'd called me that until I asked one of those mutual friends, who'd known her much longer, and he told me.
Why did I think that this video would be about that flying broomstick game from Harry Potter?
I love your CZcams channel