If you keep waiting for others to show up for you, it's YOU that needs to change.
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- čas přidán 16. 03. 2024
- Beautiful souls,
If you find yourself constantly wondering 'Why do people keep bailing on me?/Why am I always getting flaked on/Why can't I keep committed friendships/relationships?' then the uncomfortable truth is this: There is a huge part of you that is just as non-committal, and emotionally unavailable.
There is a part inside you that's inconsistent with yourself, so when others show inconsistency, it feels normal and acceptable, and somewhat tolerable despite the pain and inner turmoil.
Think of the ways that you may be inconsistent with yourself.
An example could be you postponing something you said you'd set out to do i.e telling yourself that you'd like to get up earlier in the morning, but you hit that snooze button on repeat.
The more you practice being consistent with your own words, the more you're able to see the integrity in others too. And the less you'll tolerate others who simply do not follow through with their words.
It's true when they say that everything is literally a mirror.
All the traits in others that you see, are being reflected back to you.
If you keep focusing only on the external, then it will be extremely DIFFICULT to see the changes that you want in your life.
Sounds simple, right?
So why is it hard to make that change?
Because it requires YOU to look within, and to face the things about yourself that you may be ashamed of.
I noticed a big shift within myself when I finally admitted, wow holy crap I am emotionally unavailable AF TOO!!! Yikes. I am flaky AF too!!! Ugh.
But admitting these things about yourself are meant to be a catalyst for meaningful change, instead of beating yourself up about it.
When you admit these things about yourself with self-love and self-compassion, it is when necessary evolving growth happens 🤍
You deserve consistency, commitment, integrity and alignment folks.
Lots of love,
Chi
_______________
I'm opening up spots for 1:1 Self-Love Art Therapy sessions in the near future, so stay tuned!
🕊 🌞 🌛
I too have this happen to me over and over all through my life. I feel some people are sometimes disrespectful of my time. Usually they are more concerned for their time and the things they are doing. Yes ... I changed myself and quit letting ones do this to me. If they flaked a couple of times I found other company. After a long time of moving on, I realized that maybe the way I needed to change was to just accept that there are two kinds of people in life, those who keep their word and those who do not. The thing is ... I really am drawn to flakes. They are normally interesting and fun. Plus ... if I just accept it and bend for them ... sometimes ... I can have a more happy and peaceful life.
When I have plans with a flake ... I plan to take a book and a picnic with me. I make sure I plan on 15 minutes later than planned ... so maybe I can be the late one once in a while. Though, that hasn't bern the case yet. If I notice I am getting irritated I go do something else and apologize later. If I make arrangements with a flake and they cancel at the last minute ... I always have something planned which almost always turns out more fun, anyway. Sometimes now ... I be the flake. ... but only to flakes that flake first. Everyone else ... I show them deep respect by showing uo and being present when I say it. Now ... I can love andenjoy all my friends ... even the flakes.
My eye has been twitching too!!
I love your channel 🙏🙏❤️❤️‼️ thank you!!
You're amazing!! I know most of this but it's always good to get a reminder that we need to listen and relax!! Also, just watched another video about Germany and I have been thinking about traveling to Germany this summer, But I barely leave my zip code!! So I have no idea why I'm thinking about Germany, but its on my mind 🤔
Thank you. I feel I get very upset with my S.O. And others about different things…but I’m reality, I am also doing these things.
Takes bravery to be this self-aware 🤍
Profoung insight. Life does reflect how we react to it. I learned that instead of reacting negatively OR positively with a challenging person or situation, I learned to treat them instead "Neutrally" (not easy at first) but very quickly the wisdom of neutrality is that it allows some "breathing space" to better understand what is in front of me. Also it prevented me from judging the 'other' personally and being in my own power.
I found over time I became a much better listener and less reactive to life. "Life's Curveballs" excepted haha!
That's my perspective, hope it adds to the topic,
Blessings 🙏
Love this especially about the neutrality part. We can learn a lot from our triggers, and then from there, it'll eventually turn into something neutral
Thank you for doing this topic, it really resonated with me. Great job, keep going!!
Aww thank you so much 💗
This video was like a therapy for me...I needed this... thankyou
I'm glad, thank you for the lvely comment 🌷✨
“Everyone is you pushed out” = Neville Goddard
Needed to hear this
Great message - exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for this, I could feel the heart in what you were saying, and that you meant every word.
Aww thank you so much for this lovely message. Sending you love 🕊
Hey! Thanks for sharing this beautiful video, I needed to hear it. Also, your eye twitching could be to do with low magnesium, just an idea!
Wise words as always, Chi :) And everything *is* a mirror! Thank you for mirroring this back to us :)
Awww heyyyy!! Thank you friend 💗💗💗
Thank you for making this and posting it
Aw you're welcome - thank you for this lovely comment. I appreciate it 🤍
Thank you. Very useful.
Bless you❤
I appreciate you 🌸🌸
Love your channel Chi
Thank you so much Nick - so sweet 🫰🏽
Subscribed!❤
That's exactly how it is; dear Chi!💫
Only dogs can take YOU out......😉😉😁!
Best wishes......Marcell
Hahahah I freakin love dogs 🐶 😭💗
Nice one..thanks and happy weekend to u🎉
Thank you 💗✨
@@LiveWithChi i will add that...at times ...I feel it's healthy to go with the flow and accept others....and not be too rigid...but it's a slippery slope to codependency...and being used....oh well life is often imperfect...nd I haven't ended up on dateline yet..👍🙈
Ok ik this video is abt a month old now but anyone who comes across this and also happens to be having an annoying eye twitch going on atm eye twitching can sometimes be caused my magnesium defficiency or stress and i also heard/read that stress can cause magenisum defficiency as well so there's that
Thank you. Some thoughts :
Recently I realized - after years or reading some useful books - that this message is not for everybody. People are not generally born with a moldable inner nature, nor can endure to be taught how to improve themselves. They only leave the impression they can learn to change their inner nature.
Take for example the 5 Elements in the Chinese Zodiac : I don't "believe" the zodiac, but I asked myself many questions about life and I observed. Conclusion : nobody gave me answers as good as found in the zodiac, that explains exactly what I previously observed in practice.
Metal does not change, water only adapts, wood does change - but slowly, fire does change - but is also savage and consumes, and earth is moldable by others - but does not really change.
Moreover, there are also animal signs assigned by month (called "inner animals"), by day (called "true animals") and hours (called "secret animals"). The Earth is all twelve signs, with five seasons.
Of course, I might be wrong, because I'm subjective and nobody knows it all.
What was the article? :)
Perhaps its the universe testing you to see if you have changed... or not.
Yes - i believe this too! The pattern will keep repeating if we ourselves haven't changed
What if the person(s) you are describing as ´emotionally unavailable¨ are actually dismissive avoidant(DA) or avoidant personality types. How would that change your view of the situation?Is it still a reflection of ´you pushed out¨ when they are incapable of showing feelings or emotions due to traumas in their lives?Would this lead one to seek out to resolve issues in themselves when the issues are indeed with those displaying the emotional unavailability towards you?Or is it leading one to an awakening that they themselves are suffering from past emotional traumas and displaying ´avoidant¨ characteristics themselves in their relationships with others?
Hey, these are all really great questions. Let me mull them over so that I can give you an intentional response 🦋
Hi, so it wouldn't change my view that much of the situation because it doesn't matter what the other person/external sources are going through. No matter how hard we try to be understanding of other people's past experiences and traumas, it will potentially lead us to dismissing our own feelings and perception of the situationa aka our reality. There are obviously many layers to this. My question is, what are you afraid of when asking these questions about others? It can be a slippery slope when we begin analysing/interpreting other people's actions. Some reflections are great, but when it leads to analysing, it takes us out of our own energy and feelings.
You got a bug at @2:22
You walk away and walk away and walk away cos pretty much everyone is flaky. How do i express disappointment with tradies who would then just stop turning upto to work already taken my deposit? You did not cover enough of what exact change you made. Im not flaky i feel hopeless due to lack of options.