The Bears Are Back | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 212
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- čas přidán 3. 07. 2024
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Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Bert and Tom are back in the studio for some much needed catching up! They discuss Bert's new healthy habits and then immediately try out nicotine pouches. Tom shares a story about why he's the "Master of Finding Missing Items" and Bert recollects all the cruise ship insanity from "Fully Loaded at Sea". The bears also talk about Bert's "new girlfriend", not getting enough credit for good deeds, dark algorithms on Instagram, life advice from jacked dudes, taking Tom Segura's family on adventures, and Bert's crush on Josh Hartnett!
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www.bertbertbert.com/tour
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CZcams Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:08 - Looking Good & Feeling Good
00:06:24 - Getting Into Zyn & Trying Rogue
00:11:33 - Healthy Enough To Keep Drinking
00:15:59 - Tom Is The Master Of Finding Missing Items
00:20:45 - Not Getting Enough Credit For Good Deeds
00:25:59 - Nominated For Top Comedy Tour By Pollstar
00:30:51 - Golden Globes Are Coming Up
00:36:25 - Florida Things & Cruise Stories
00:43:16 - Karaoke Was A Hit
00:48:44 - Going On Vacation
00:50:26 - Alcohol Is A High School Girlfriend
00:55:18 - Dark Instagram Algorithms
00:59:28 - Life Advice From Jacked Dudes
01:05:33 - Taking Adventures With Charo
01:09:24 - Guest Bears
01:16:11 - Bert Loves Josh Hartnett - Komedie
Can’t wait to hear what these two were doing 2 months ago
On Christmas they’ll post the thanksgiving episode
This is a fantastic comment!
😂
The purse story happened last week.
Tom posted about it on his ig stories, same for the woman who lost her purse.
And he wears the same jacket and shirt as when he was at the airport too... Can't get fresher than that.
How burt was doing you mean
Tom gettting Bert at the healthiest hes been in a long time and immediately getting him hooked on another substance is truly hilarious.
Right?! And thanks Tom for fueling Bert up for the podcast. He’s usually so quiet.🙃🤓
I recently quit pouches and these mfers made me so close to going back
Tom doesn't like bert at all
Hes not sober and that definitely was an ad.
@@Joe-ie4ufYou get it.
These two really need a podcast together
This comment is not getting the recognition it deserves😂
Why this is starting to suck
😂
You really need a reevaluation of your humour
@@LeMoistQuntfor sure they do
I love that every few months Bert "gets healthier" and its a big thing and then its right back off the rails.
id like to see him lose another 30 lbs. just wanna see him transform completely to a skinny dude
For a guy that is supposedly sober for almost 3 months, his face is still very red and puffy. Maybe it's irreversible at this point, some winos get that permanent red face
Boogie2988 vibes 😂
Sounds like a work in progress to me
Relatable
“I was in great shape.”
“You were A shape…”
😂😂😂
Wow, we’re so blessed to have the actual hosts of the show, hosting the show!
I just listen to the old shows.. they're better anyways
I honestly think Burnt Chrysler should move to Austin. This podcast and Joe Rogan made him famous. He shouldn't be turning his back on them.
Weren’t we all just complaining about bert being on the show a few months ago
@@seae2030burnt chrysler!! LOLLLL
@@whoisharo4689 go to google image search results for burnt chrysler. This one is epic. pbs.twimg.com/media/DlNxhf5U0AIKz0q.jpg
Shane Gillis by far has the best special of the year
His Austin special was better IMO. I think Normand's new one is better than Shane's
It sucked hard man. I really enjoyed his first special but damn was this years a major disappointment of unfunniness
I thought it was hilarious. Ari’s ‘Jew’ might have been better tho
@@chucklefizz Jew is a work of art
Jew is the special of the year for sure
“if you told me to slow down, i’d tell you get the fuck out of my way” is such a motivational quote until you know bert is talking about his downward spiral
Can’t wait to hear Bert talk about how he doesn’t have a drinking problem and how healthy he is!
It took 10 minutes.
won't have to wait long.. :)
1 chapter is called "looking good feeling good" hits in there at about the 2min mark.... lol.
Can't wait to hear about it next week too, and the week after that, and the one after that.
Can’t wait to hear some faceless asshole on the Internet mention this. Oh shit, it was a matter of seconds
Never thought I’d ever hear Bert utter the words, “I bit off more than I could chew”.
Is that possible??
Utter or stutter
You should see the video of him going to buy a boat 😜 jk
Word
it's honesty heartwarming.
I watch bad friends now. I started watching bad friends because Bart and Tom don’t do podcasts as often anymore. Now bad friends is my favorite podcast
Same. Bad friends is top tier
OMG same!
I want to like bad friends but all the clips I've seen from Andrew Santino, he drives me nuts. I loved Bobby Lee on MadTV however
Bad Friends has been my favorite pod for 3 years. Never missed an ep.
I love watching Tom try to give Bert a compliment and Bert compliments himself before Tom can finish.
You can tell what episodes have Bert on them because there’s like 50 time stamps for different subjects every 3 minutes.
This is a great observation, so spot on
But that’s also the superpower… creates a lot of content points 😂
Because he keeps cutting Tom off and going off on a rant
@@ruckusenclosures7034
Ya….. fuck Tom lol I’ll catch him on YMH anyway :P
The power of ADHD
6 minutes in bert has already said “i’m in great shape”
Eyes don't lie.
"I'm way healthy enough to keep drinking" 😂
@@voice_of_a_little_lady As he justifies why he "got out of control". smh
@@eligiol I’m sorry, but are you really saying you should only be proud of benching 225 for 10 if you weigh 175 or less?
Not commenting on anything else; but benching 225 for 10 is impressive for a regular person.
I feel like people see stuff on social media and count it as the new norm when those people are in fantastic shape and/or have amazing genetics.
@@Revolution1117 My favorite part is where he was snapping at people for telling him they were worried about him, and then giggling about it. He's a mess.
Nothing like watching rich friends not only lose touch with reality, but each other as "best friends"
6 months and Bert will be back to square one. Guaranteed.
I'm over 7 months off alcohol, weighed in at 206 today, down 90 pounds so far. So good to see Bert so peaceful and happy. Don't give up y'all
Congratulations!!
Who’s gonna be the one to tell this guy that Bert isn’t sober lmao
Been 4 years for me. Had my 1st drink yesterday ( thinking I can be sensible now) going thru some stuff that really wants me to get absolutely blasted but I’m resisting the temptation and the urge , just think of the hangovers and the arsehole i became when I’m drunk!!!
How do comments like these get the least attention? Oh yea, cuz society and the sheep follower TARDy ppl exist😮
@@LilLou97 I know, just good to see progress in other people even if it doesn't last.
Bert dropped 40lbs, then gained 20lbs on the cruise.
It's great for the boy's to be back,so Bert can over talk Tom for an hour, and 22 minutes
Awe, Tommy so nice to pretend like it's not just drunk idiots who enjoy Brent's special. ❤
Tom looks like he's about to go on Safari.
Him and Bryan fellows
glad I'm not the only one who kept thinkin this lmao
Well,
*He* does have to *LaY* in Christina's *P,*
so *SaMe DiFFeReNCe.*
Now that is comedy lol
It’s hard to believe, but if Bart ends up losing all this weight, he’s going to talk about himself 10 times more than he already does
Thing is since he's drinking again, he's going to regain the weight
😂
What’s the point of just coming to shit on Bert if you don’t like him why watch 😂
@@quintenhuff1475 here for tom and guests and to see how much bert is going to lie and dig himself into a shit hole. its become more unbearable and unfortunately don't want to watch him anymore.
@@dren8541 if you know Bert’s in this one don’t watch it it’s simple. I don’t understand the point of you putting your input 😂 it’s crazy to see haters like that man watch the ones with just Tom and guest you going out of your way to shit on bert is just weird. Oh well people like you make the guy more money 🤷🏻
And Tom's like: "Wait I was really nice at an airport too!"
I love this pod because I routinely think my phone accidentally skipped ahead in my pocket, but then I check, and it's just Bert manically changing subjects.
“These trees are safe with me, I’m not cutting em down” 😂😂😂
2:08 - podcast begins
Gracias mi amigo, muy amable
Bart and Rich Tim pretending this podcast isn't falling apart
slomo trainwreck
The podcast is useless anymore
Shut up you poor!
It is actually impressive seeing Bret get progressively red throughout the pod 😂
too much nicotine
I didn’t even know these guys are on this show.
It’s so nice to see Bert let Tom finish a story
Felt that
Bert- “I don’t have a problem drinking.”
Also Bert- “I was off the rails.”
Brent's 12 minute explanation about booze being like a high school girlfriend was like the unibomber manifesto
The billionaire bears are back together to entertain the poors!
Its all a business lol this pod is merely pulling extra cash for them monthly. Bet its a good 5 digits a month, all for bert to just spew whatever is on his mind while Tom understands hes being paid to listen and evoke berts adhd
I'm not poor and Bert doesn't entertain me
So why are you watching if he doesn't entertain you???
@@gavstephens2313 If you're asking me, I didn't..... I just came to see the comments to see all the people unhappy, or complaining about something he has said, or done. I was not disappointed. Did you watch?
@@gavstephens2313to witness the downfall of these two bafoons.
Bert needs to talk about himself more. Tom nearly answered question there for a second.
Tom trying to play the nice guy who returns strangers shit now because everyone hates him 😂
How did this podcast go from comedic fall off your chair hilarious to….. only Bert talking about his health/ addictions from one ad to another
What kind of person has a problem with someone bettering themselves? You should consider some introspection.
@AnthonyPorter-bleh white kighting for Rich Tom and Brent Kreisler? Wow, you take simping to another level. The critique is not that he is trying to better himself, the critique is that they stopped being funny very fast.
yea its sad af, every episode is the same
So why are y'all still here? Not watching is even less effort than leaving hateful comments.
nice try bert@@T.051
What a treat that the two hosts of the podcast are actually both on an episode 🙏🏼
Why does it look like Tom’s forced to be there in the same podcast with Bert but Burt’s also aware.
I’ve been waiting to hear Bert talk about the cruise. I had a blast. Just wish I could remember more of it lol. Best vacation ever. Thanks Bert! Can’t wait for next year.
We get to hear Bart talk about himself repeatedly, while Tom awkwardly stares off and quietly nods his head.
Barts plea to just give him the award because the other people are too famous to acknowledge it…. That’s a wild concept…
Waiting for them to talk about the Halloween party they attended...yesterday.
This was probably recorded in September 😂
@@zg9445no because he found the purse around a week ago
Bert wanting praise from his wife for him adhering to the most basic part of a relationship is straight up a Taylor Thomlinson bit.
underrated comment😂
To this day the funniest thing Bert has ever done and will do was make a movie about a lie he tells and thinking it would make more than 20 million dollars. And for Tom it's telling people he was broke when his dad was incredibly wealthy and paid his way to be a comedian 😂
I’m sure the tobaccoless chew craze will end up having zero negative effects.
Worst case scenario I think probably mouth and gum diseases. It like burns my gums off if left in one area too long lol.
Or it does what vaping has done to for cigarettes and saves a lot of people from cancer. Yeah I can't wait for it to be over either 🙄
Got dizzy, felt nauseous, and almost fell off my bar stool. Good times! 🤢
@@brian-gz3bh all that fake flavor sweetener/sugar has got to be bad sitting on ur teeth all day.
Negative effects are cap...
I just waiting for them to go "did you hear about the paragliders in Israel the other day?"
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast has been my jam, but I can't wait to listen to Tom talk about how rich he is and Bert about how healthy and strong he is now
Berg krasher describing his relationships with weed and alcohol was masterful.
Berg Krasher 😂
Get Bart a drink quick he looks like a normal person
Yeah this shita unacceptable
Bart lookin good!
Nah, still bloated mess. Just had a shirt on to hide it.
@billsmith394 Word we need to the some nude pictures for proof. We need to see if Barty boys D got bigger
That face still looks twice the size of a normal humans to me
Tom is addicted to zyns 😂😂😂
It's not an addiction... It just feels good.
Leave the lip pillows alone.
Technically Rogue. You didn’t see him pull out a can? Dum-Dum . . .
@@speak-easyconversations1393 Hahaha it’s an addiction, my friend. I was addicted to Zyns for like 4-5 months earlier this year. Starts as a fun habit, then before you know it you’re hooked. Zyns were harder to quit than vaping
@@jarnold1789 it's not bad for you though. Yes it's hard to kick, as a former smoker its saved my ass.
Excited to hear your thoughts on the poors Tom!!
Burnt Chrysler lookin like a garden gnome
"No one here is saying follow Bert's lead... on anything... ever"
Whoa I don’t believe my eyes 👀 could this actually be true two bears in same studio same time not 1 bear 1 random guest 😮
Well, bobby lee one. Was great
@@henrygalvan9333 I love Bobby I do always feel I’m defending him though haha
“I follow a bunch of kids on Instagram”
“wuuuuuuut”😂😂
The claps from the producers during the nomination awards really seal it.
Glad to have the OGs in! It’s a Thanksgiving Miracle! 🐻 🐻
Filmed in September
@@donhughes7339It was filmed last week
Bert quoting Taraji from Baby Boy is the best part of the episode lol.
Tom lets Bert talk every time, Bert cuts Tom off every time. I’ll get to hear you in Camdenton MO June 24th Tom!!!!! Come together your! Let’s goooo !!!!
Two Bears Patting Bro Backs. Good show fellas. Grrrrr
Ironic him mentioning matt rife not caring about the award AND comparing it to a fan giving him cookies when matt rife getting cookies from a fan was ICONIC 😂
I found the same dog wandering around my neighborhood twice in one year. She belongs to a guy a street over. Each time I returned her, I got a thanks and the door immediately closed in my face. Next time, I'm keeping the dog
Id keep the man😏
We have a neighbor like that, totally understand!
@6lbBassFisherman-zp6dt Finders keepers. Plus dude is a drunk that obviously doesn't care about her. So yeah, I'll her keep and treat her much better
@6lbBassFisherman-zp6dt who's upset bro? You it seems like. Can't be stealing if the animal is wondering around on MY property. Typical Biden voter
What do you want them to do? Give you a kiss? 😂
I see yall were in costume today, Safari Tom and Hobo Bart
I saw Bert last night in springfield and he was rocking those pouches on stage 😂😂😂. Tommy got him hooked
Was he jumping the gorge?
Tom lookin like he wearing a cheap spy disguise during the ad read.
Redbar is talking about the "Money Shots" LMAO!
The watermelon clip is always hilarious. That wasn't even an edit. She had to continue the game. The coldness that the host had to tell her finish after that trauma is great TV
Bert’s story towards the manager proves how much of a prick he is
No kidding hearing it first hand but months and months later the tone was nasty as fuck and can't imagine how Tom could not have just walked put and called his agent o apologize and possible not even spoken to this guy yet. That was some of the most egocentric bushit I've ever heard
I've heard a couple stories like that one. I forget who told the story but that kind of seems like his personality. Selfish and rude
And the whole Joe List beef.
Hahahah man he admitted to being in a spot in his life where admittedly was being a dick
@@Alcookeverybody Only to congratulate himself further. The inner douche is STRONG in that shit comic.
Looks like Bart discovered Meth😂😂
There’s one comfort to me that there’s a reality out there in the multiverse where this show didn’t exist.
The woman getting hit in the face with the melon at 56 mins looks like the Zapruder film of the JKF assassination
Bout time yall get back together
I love weed but the way Bert is describing it makes me want to cut off my dreadlocks and quit smoking 😂😂😂
1:00 mark is gold really hits home for most of us love to hear it. You’re right most people don’t have access to all the extra shit simply trying to better ourselves
The Cruise kicked ass! Can't wait for next year!
When bert was talking about it, I thought about every single person there has a lot in common. Party, drinking, love of comedy, etc.
It had to be a blast! When I was in line to see bert and then tom a year later(comedy shows) everyone was friendly and talked about YMH, 2 bears, etc
@@Tiffany.Carnesit was nonstop fun. The wife and I want to go again for sure. Big dick Pete lee was one of the best shows too. My only co plaint was the speedo contest and belly flop contest were at the same time as Mark Normand’s show and I wasn’t missing him.
@@Tiffany.Carnesoh, and the micro penis dude spit beer all over me and about 5 others during the live taping of bertcast.
Bert's next special should be called "insufferable "
Oh my god.. Bert is the reason I have no faith in people.. he got a great opportunity as a shit comic , and he just shits on people.
Or Unbelievable
The fully bloated tour
Them thinking Tiny Desk Concerts is Kareoke is hilarious.
Ugh them dips pull all the life and energy outta my body. 😂
Tom lookin like inspector gadget with the glasses on for some reason 😂😂 love yall!
Tom is back to mail it in on another podcast!
Tom Segura better win a golden globe award!
berts suxholing for the award 30:00 is why i like berts comedy.
Why is it so hard for Bert to let someone finish a thought???
You know the weed is good when you weep alone in your backyard about your beautiful trees lol. Welcome home Burt.
The way Tim says what after Bruce tells him he follows a bunch of kids on Instagram 💀😂😂
Im kind glad i watched this one.. Now I know i can just watch the clips they post on Twitter and be all caught up lol
Bert is the homeless addict in Pay it forward and Tom is the kid who thinks he can help fix him.
As of last week, I'm officially down 40 lbs as well. Keep it up Bert!
What a cliffhanger. Love these 2 together
Im so happy Bert isn't quitting drinking that drinking speak sent shivers down my spine
About time! I lowkey didn’t bother watching the episodes without these two bears
You made a mistake, all of the guests for one bear, are way funnier or more interesting than Bert by about 99%
As a fan of this pod for 3yrs , thank you guys for getting thur the pandemic. I can't anymore with Bert. He seems like a horrible person and is a bad co-host , no matter what topic it's about him.
"I'm unrelatable now" like he's been chasing it, oh Brent.. 😂
Shout out to anyone else who was on fully loaded cruise I had the time of my life ❤
I miss nadav
Just saw Bert on tour last Thursday and i can say it was rhe best standup i have ever been to. Definitely manic. Wasnt expecting to break out in the star spangled banner, but it was a blast.
If Bert's the best standup you've ever seen, you should see more standup.
@billwilson9602 I eat, sleep, snd breath stand-up. Get over yourself, jacksss. If you don't like the motherfucker, stop listening.
Yeah it's gotten so old guys. I make 6 figures, does that male you feel bsd about yourselves too? It's gotten do old.
@@blippityblooWTF are you attempting to say??
@WKRPinCincy lmao dude is out his mind. "He makes six figures" don't you get it? He clearly has good taste if he makes a slight abover average pay. Not sure if its Tom's burner or Schaubs lol
Bert qutting drinking like Snoop smoking 😂😂😂
God damn that watermelon slingshot was hilarious
Weird dynamic to see both these guys in the same room again. Been a while.
Before it was alcohol. Now its alcohol, weed and nicotine. Nice one Bert.