Problem with pandering to them, is that the more you do it, the more their demands will grow. The truth is that they cannot stand to see goodness in another at any level, so if you show empathy, humility compassion, comliance, caring, he'll hate you all the more for it! 🙏🏻♥️,
I'm tired of all the psychologists and narcissist experts in youtubes who teach the empath how to outnarcissist the innocent narcissist. They seem to just be teaching the good goy to be a real bad goy (i mean by "goy"= natural person, not educated in Torah). The whole of todays secular world seems to be empaths and narcissists. Many empaths are the worsed narcissists at the same time. But rabbi Mannis, has a very different take! I expect he is right and is correctly interpreting what the torah/talmud/judaism teaches. Judaism teaches good personality traits. Mussar etc.
I married a narcissist I couldn’t figure out what was always wrong with me he blamed everything on me I couldn’t please him ever enough I was never pretty enough the list goes on and on he has triangulated since the day we were married and crossed those lines of course it was my fault I was just never good enough someone was always better I thought his problems were ptsd depression defiance disorder obsessive 7:40 compulsive in reality he was a true narcissist very sad with a narcissist you have failure of intimacy mentally emotionally physically spiritually there is no authentic bonding a lot of lies and deceit
A hopeless situation I have to be very quiet so I don’t trigger him I always catered to him I honestly didn’t know there are good things about him but have no bearing on me if he’s on an emotional roll😢
Excuse me you had the Lead in the first place- if you didnt know your limits and how to enable a healthy relationship- healthydoesnt mean you love your child so much, your voice and aura becomes submissive. Every relationship is a exchange of favors. Let your child cook with you, clean bis plates..come on!
Yes second that ,no male shud live at his parents going on 60 for that equals utter complete failure unless the individual is disabled ,,,which (psssst ) most sons are absolutely nottttt
Sigmund Freud (1914) published his theory of narcissism in a lengthy essay titled "On Narcissism: An Introduction". Freud postulated that all humans have a level of narcissism from birth (primary narcissism), it is healthy, and in time, evolves outward as love for others. Freud had declared that narcissism was a necessary intermediate stage between auto-eroticism and object-love, love for others. He also theorized that narcissism becomes a neurosis (secondary narcissism) when individuals who had reached the point of projecting their affections to others, turned their affection back on themselves. In time these individuals become cut off from society and uninterested in others.
The idea for me is to treat the narcissist firmly yet compassionately as I would a petulant child with an emotional handicap. However, I should be careful not to come across as condescending or patronizing. I must be completely transparent and filled with the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. All of the attributes of the Ruach HaKodesh must be mastered and they all work together, if I am missing even one of them then I do not have the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Shalom! This is powerful, world-changing wisdom.
@@emilym6214 Thank you! Off the top of my head, petulant means an insufferable attitude of self-centeredness. It's a childish behavior that if left unchecked carries forward to adulthood. Shalom!
Just wanted to thank you, Manis, for your life, your perseverance, your love of us all......see you in heaven brother, if not before.....may the Lord's joy be in us ALL always and forever
I agree wholeheartedly. Empaths draw narcissistic tyrants like a moth to the flame. The problem with that is if the narcissist meets with a sigma empath. They will try and do everything in their power to destroy their lives.
To all who are commenting about parenting, and thinking that that Rabbi was affirming what you're saying, are infants spiritually. The Rabbi was simply referring to something important in shaping a child's view on the world. He was NOT saying that spoiling your child, etc., makes a Narc. Someone with NPD (narc personality disorder) is not birthed, but a child is abused or traumatized to the point that the brain is damaged from the trauma. The brain has the disorder. A narcissistic person, though not having the disorder, has had mesaging their whole life, usually from their parents, that they dont matter, so they spend their adult life trying to compensate for this. My mother has the disorder. I have cut her off. But at least I understand what has gone on and am healing. So many people talk and are completely uneducated about the words coming out of their own mouths. I'll pray for your children as they clearly need it.
Giving away money and food to others makes me smile 😄 If you have nothing now I am eager to help you out because I had once nothing and I was helped out by others. Don't be too serious.
😮 i always say that about narsassists 'they dont see beyond their own nose'... Waste of time anyone else being alive.. this is really good.. so much insight.. absolutely brilliant explanation .. like small children arnt they... 💜
I'm in so so so so so much pain. The man whom I thought was my best friend, discarded me like garbage. He gave me SEVERE PTSD. (4 primary/core UNHEALTHY reasons relationships break down: 1. Contempt 2. Criticism 3. Stonewalling 4. Defensiveness) Over four months of this horrific terror. The PTSD is severe and intense. The man whom I called my best friend, ended up raping my soul... PANIC AND TERROR ALMOST CONSTANTLY FLOOD ME. I am paralyzed and traumatized and debilitated and breathless, with almost-constant panic attacks. I desperately pray for healing. In February of this year (2023), the man who I thought was my best friend... Discarded me like garbage. Replaced me for another. In doing so... He gave me SEVERE PTSD. We're in June, now... It's been over 4 months... I MUST GET OVER THIS and MOVE ON... Please, help me, God! God, you have has blessed me to be a writer...🙌🏾 I humbly thank you and bow before you. I pray to make use of this talent/blessing/gift! Perhaps I write my way to healing? I also want/pray to make myself ready, with your miraculous help, oh God... I want to be healed and purified, that I may finally meet and spend my life with, my twin-flame. Here's what my trust is in: I don’t have to date. I don't have to do those God-forsaken dating apps! My kingdom spouse will locate me, he will come for me! 💍👰♀ Him, my twin-flame and I, are ordained to be together. We are magnetized to one another: NOW, ALWAYS, ALL WAYS. Maktub. It is written. It is God's will. Praise be to God! Let me remind myself of how loving sex/intimacy can actually be. (Because up until now, it's only been trauma for me...) 14 GENTLE URGENT REMINDERS, REAL/HEALTHY LOVE/SEX MEANS: 1) He also always (all ways) says he loves you outside the bedroom... 2) He looks DEEP into your eyes, into your soul, during sex/intimacy... 3) During sex: he wants full body contact... Hugs, caressing, hands all over your body 4) Spending quality intimate time together, both: before and after sex 5) Being intimate afterwards: cuddling, pillow-talk, playing, sleeping together closely 6) He prioritizes your pleasure, and attends to your needs and the things that you like 7) He pulls you in, super close and super intimate during sex 8) He compliments your personality, your character, your soul etc... 9) He kisses you with love and intimacy and passion 10) Slow seductive sensual lovemaking 11) He's open/vulnerable, he shows you his body, his insecurities, his fantasies (without fear of judgement from you...) 12) He wants to meet your needs and he wants you to be satisfied 13) He understands when you don’t want sex and he doesn’t push or pressure 14) It’s not just about sex, he's interested in conversation and outings and connecting: outside the bedroom AND PLEASE, GOD, LET ME ALSO ALWAYS REMEMBER: The gift of rejection positions me for MY purpose! The gift of rejection reveals what his role was/is: in my healing/destiny (THIS IS ALCHEMY)! The gift of rejection draws me nearer to you, oh God! (As well as to my own soul!) Rejection is redirection!🎉 Someone who is healthy is someone who: 1. wants REAL intimacy (and is capable of it, and willing to co-create it) 2. has their life (relatively) in order 3. genuinely likes and loves themselves 4. has healthy values and a healthy lifestyle 5. has deep self awareness 6. has a strong support network 7. is emotionally available and consistent 8. has a healthy vision for their future 9. can navigate conflict well 10. has a strong sense of self respect
I hope you've moved out if not moved on . Moved out of the deep deniel. Never mind him , or anyone else, don't depend on others to make you happy. As for him, why crave for something from him that's not there for him to give? It's like expecting rainfall in desert. At least for the moment, it's better to lower the expectations about love/ sex/ relationship. The reality is, EXTREMELY few people ever get the perfect experience in love/sex/ relationship. Craving for that perfect experience brings so much extra pain. Best to Let go of the craze for craving for emotions of others. Instead spend energies on cultivating selfcare❤, instead of sowing more negative emotions like fear and grief. Please don't allow yourself to go on a downward spiral. Much love to you my dear.
Really is so interesting how in today’s world people are trying to love themselves and give themselves compassion when they don’t know how to extend it to others. The only way that you could truly love yourself is if you could observe yourself, loving others and love yourself as you love others. Love oneself is not natural but to love oneself the way one loves others is. Narcissism is a love of self without a love of others
UNBEARABLE PAIN. OCEAN OF GRIEF. ENDLESS DARKNESS. My soul is raped and I want to die. The PTSD and the loneliness and the grief that he's given me... Makes it so that I can't breathe. I drowned. I suffocate. I die inside. I'm in hell with no escape. NO ESCAPE. I need him. I loved him. He raped my soul: brutally viciously violently maliciously. Every night: nightmares. Every day: panic attacks. I want to die. Every morning I wake up in despair, desperately praying to die. I can no longer bear the pain. I could die from the pain of missing my best friend. He betrayed and abandoned me, discarded me like garbage. My mind can't fathom, my heart can't comprehend. I live in perpetual panic and terror and loneliness and longing... I'm so alone in the world. I die of fear. I'm so fucking traumatized and terrorized and terrified. I'm dying inside. My soul is raped. He's given me severe PTSD. Severe! Severe! Severe! How and when will I ever heal? In 5 days, it'll be exactly 5 months... God, as I walk through this hell and heartache and grief, I pray you guide and direct and hold me... I won't be stuck in hell anymore. Enough is enough!!! It's time to be free: in Jesus's name! I’m giving my life to Jesus! 100%! REMINDER TO SELF: When you chase a man, you NEVER get the man, and you ALWAYS lose yourself!
"if I am not for myself who will be for me and if I am for myself only what am I and if not now when?" Hillel one of my favorite quotes thanks for expressing this much needed understanding to us! Blessings to You Rabbi Friedman
Rabbi, another way to raise a narcissist is to teach the child that his existence is all about the parent. Not about himself, not about others, but all about and for the parent. The child grows up unable to love himself or others, and also to have deep resentment towards the parent. If you love such a person it will take years and years of enabling coupled with staying focused on preserving one's own existence. It can be lonely, frustrating, discouraging and hopeless at times. Only with the help of almighty God can you help that person to climb out of that dark pit. It is important to ask God's guidance in deciding whether to stay the course.
One word a narcissistic personality can not tolerate…… the word NO…. Take the test and see…. Try …. No, (pause ,)thank you …smile…( don’t justify)…respect goes both ways…. ❤
The problem with many narcissists is they are so deluded into believing they ARE living for other people. They are the Messiah if you could just see it!
My mother was a grandiose narcissist. When she wanted something she would throw a tantrum like a toddler. She would yell and scream and as she got older and needed a walker, she would slam it on the floor again and again. I loved her but did not like her. She was cruel and unkind. She never fixed us children breakfast or lunch. Our father did. She couldn't be bothered. She came down with lung cancer and I dutifully took her to all her appointments, fetched groceries, cooked, cleaned, and yet, one really cold day I rolled her wheelchair out to the passenger side of the car, I asked her to not move until I locked the wheels. Well, she did move. She slid herself down to the concrete. When I tried to pick her up, she would tell me that I was hurting her. I called 911 and an ambulance crew came, picked her up, and set her into the car. She just loved to tell anyone who would listen that I dumped her into the street as if I was some type of psycho. When she died, it was as if a heavy backpack just lifted off my shoulders. She would not allow me to contact a Rabbi before she died. She knew it all. She had to have it her way.
Dear family, dear Rabbi Manis....the book," the inescapable love of God" by Thomas Talbot, is a wonderful explication of Yawehs' inescapable, infinitely capable love, it's also helpful in relatng to followers of Rabbi Yeshua, as it gives a radically different picture/interpretation of him, opposite of that in conservative Christianity, for it reveals that the God he called, creator, father , Savior, loves all without exception, has no special children, no favorites and has mercy on all, loves unconditionally, including Her/His enemies and takes all to heaven as completely holy, changed beings
Yes, but if we're here to serve God and people then we are also being served at all times as well. The problem is that there just aren't enough people who think this way! So what then? We all have to survive, so what must we do?
Oh you hit the nail on the head.....the name c I knew did not share .In fact he resented me for asking for my worth but rambled I n and and on about how women don't know their worth...I'm.a Catholic..he's a Catholic his wife is a Jewish lady who was a nurse ...the more I did the worse he got.
Covert narcissism is more common and can be greatly hidden in religious society Pharisees were them I think Friedman was talking about grandiose narcissists and even they can be very tricky - they are smart , they won’t expose themselves on public but look for easy victims I think overcaring of mother’s their children can make children be raised narcissistic
Regarding the comments on parenting, not sure that’s quite right. The narcissism actually comes from the fact that the parent convinces the child that they are nothing without whatever thing that they are getting them. So the child becomes anxious when they can’t have the thing that they perceive themselves to need because the parents have falsely convinced the child that they need that to be loved and accepted.
Like, for example, if everybody in the family wears really nice clothes and they share with the child that poor people are not like them, Then that child will feel like they need to constantly buy expensive clothes to be happy
Similarly, if the family believes that only skinny people are lovable than the child will develop an unhealthy relationship around food. Healthier to be a “selfish” parent and demand that your child chip in And stop worrying about how fat they are or what they’re wearing and just help out. All of a sudden, all of your needs and problems go away and start to take care of themselves
Actually, I have found there are people who are do-ers and very charitable. Yet, if you see how they are within their closest circle, i.e., family, they are closer to narcissist than generous giver.
in that devotion to cater to life,other beings, not just oneself, is the empathy intimacy compassion,etc, Love wich narcs lack completely. is also reason of human society degradation and alot of other problems and sickness disease drama and war. all very unnatural again, where nature is full of love so divine love is also peace.
I dont think that I am or I have met a narcisist, but I believe that I might have or might have met people with narcisistic conflicts at sifferent degrees
I'm sorry, Rabbi, but I'm going to have to take issue with your ideas. A narcissist feels that the whole world revolves around them. That you serve them, or you're garbage! That they are NEVER wrong! You deal with them by either ignoring them, or you call them out on their behavior. Period! I've had the displeasure of dealing with them all my life. So Rabbi, I disagree with you.
I feel like if you call them out they make you more miserable and blame you for everything.... has this been your experience when trying to call them out on something?
@abrahammani-3445This is a Jewish channel. Take your New Testament some place else. How would you like it if a Muslim wrote their scriptures on your site?
B"H For awhile i have been praying to H" to show me how I might be a narcissist concerning H" /and concerning others...wow! Did He show me, every few days (every few hous too) it seems that i have Ego,but THAT bad...(it gets worse and i hope to be reminded)
Kol HaKavod. You are probably not a Narcissist by the way because you are clearly working on yourself. As important as it is to be honest with yourself that you need to work on your ego, it is just as important to be honest and acknowledge that you are taking brave steps to change. I"YH you will get the changes that you want, but as you change everything else changes in response too. So be patient with yourself and make room for mourning the loss of your old self, friends, and other's reactions to you. I'YH you make new relationships and/or able to redefine your old ones. B'Hatzlocha. Thank you for bringing more light and kindness and friendship into our world.
@@gilashroot8697 Have listened to Rav Manis 45 years,often.When i wrote the above i knew that, but thanks for your real concern!!! {Like, with the מקושש העצים} May H" Bless us all!.
That’s a bot just spamming. If you check the replies to the comments on this video, the same exact statement is being said, regardless if it does or does not make since with what the original commenter was saying.
@abraham mani You missed the part, where Jesus compared himself to the copper serpent! We find out the copper serpent gets crushed! The same fate Jesus suffered at the hands of the Romans. “As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up;... John 3:14 And it was in the third year of Hoshea the son of Elah, the king of Israel, that Hezekiah the son of Ahaz the king of Judah, became king. He was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem, and his mother's name was Abi the daughter of Zechariah. And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, like all that his father David had done. He ABOLISHIED the high places, and SMASHED the monuments, and CUT DOWN the asherah, and CRUSHED THE COPPER SERPENT that Moses had made, for until those days the children of Israel were burning incense to it; and he called it NEHUSHTAN. He trusted in the God of Israel there was none like him among all the kings of Judah who were after him, nor were there before him. He cleaved to the Lord; HE DID NOT TURN AWAY from following Him; HE KEPT HIS COMMANDMENTS, which He had commanded Moses. 2 Kings 18:1-6
Wishing you all love as seems like you have personal experience and therefore pain. I"YH you heal your pain and get the distance you need from these people in your life. Sending love and healing.
You are so enouing. Don't you knew saying God / Yeshua is the same one, is idolatry? Saying that God has been reincarnated in flash - just like the new testemant says - is idolatry? You forgot to say that the new testement says - death to those who keeps laws of Torah! ???? And that God (the first husbend!!) is dead and thats why there is no need to keep any laws anymore.... Don't you reed your own new testiment? Delete your spam comments to evrey coment on this video.
According to the question, it is understood that you did not listen to the end or did not listen well. Do not do anything at the same time while watching the video, watch the video at a lower speed and then everything will be clear and understandable.
@@ellasoes8325 Sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention at all. I suggested something that I myself do, when I don't understand someone on CZcams that is very important to me to understand, I lower the speed to 0.75, mute and stop all the other things around me. Again, sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention
Analise muito rasa. Nao considerou que narcisismo pode vir de deficiencia cerebral. Ou genetica. Bioquimica cerebral diferente. Mas como agem alguns narcisistas é tipico o que foi falado no video.
2 of my brothers went after the Israeli army service to India to "find the truth"(1975).A Hindu man asked them"Who is your G-d"? They said "G-d of the Jews and the whole world". He told them to go home, they did and they went to yeshivah upon returning to Israel, have BAH"R whole Tribes of children,grandchildren in Israel.FIRST be YOU as G-d intended and may you be blessed by HaShem
@abrahammani-3445 B"H WAS Johnny a Yid? Most likely. WHERE did Johnny get it FROM? Internet via Wikipedia? THE only Media in Israel 2000 years ago was Torah in every home, on the street, in the NEWS daily. & and the Roman European Christian Pagans that came from Rome to conquer us .{You say that John and Yoshkeh were born later? Yes, about 200 years, not long after but let'sface it. Rudolph and Adolph the Reindeers,your multi-Viking idol gods are the main source for ADE 500-2023 centuries of the funny little "find the colored egg" fictions made up 3 thousand years ago.The very TERM : "Messhiach" is a Torah term, when Yoshkeh mentioned "Masiach" ALL the Jews in Israel KNEW what he meant. YOUR Romans, Germanic tribes, French Saxon took 500-1200 years to accept Dee Jay Jee Zues. Cringe Goy
First watch rabbi tovia singer’s videos on being a noahide, but if your still intent on converting to Judaism then contact a rabbi from an orthodox synagogue near you.
Problem with pandering to them, is that the more you do it, the more their demands will grow. The truth is that they cannot stand to see goodness in another at any level, so if you show empathy, humility compassion, comliance, caring, he'll hate you all the more for it! 🙏🏻♥️,
There are coaches who tell how to deal with narcs. I like one of them.
I'm tired of all the psychologists and narcissist experts in youtubes who teach the empath how to outnarcissist the innocent narcissist.
They seem to just be teaching the good goy to be a real bad goy (i mean by "goy"= natural person, not educated in Torah). The whole of todays secular world seems to be empaths and narcissists. Many empaths are the worsed narcissists at the same time.
But rabbi Mannis, has a very different take!
I expect he is right and is correctly interpreting what the torah/talmud/judaism teaches.
Judaism teaches good personality traits. Mussar etc.
yeah. they are weird.
I married a narcissist I couldn’t figure out what was always wrong with me he blamed everything on me I couldn’t please him ever enough I was never pretty enough the list goes on and on he has triangulated since the day we were married and crossed those lines of course it was my fault I was just never good enough someone was always better I thought his problems were ptsd depression defiance disorder obsessive
7:40 compulsive in reality he was a true narcissist very sad with a narcissist you have failure of intimacy mentally emotionally physically spiritually there is no authentic bonding a lot of lies and deceit
A hopeless situation I have to be very quiet so I don’t trigger him I always catered to him I honestly didn’t know there are good things about him but have no bearing on me if he’s on an emotional roll😢
❤great lesson for parents who are raising spoiled brats❤
Excuse me you had the Lead in the first place- if you didnt know your limits and how to enable a healthy relationship- healthydoesnt mean you love your child so much, your voice and aura becomes submissive. Every relationship is a exchange of favors. Let your child cook with you, clean bis plates..come on!
The government is filled with narcissist.
Yes second that ,no male shud live at his parents going on 60 for that equals utter complete failure unless the individual is disabled ,,,which (psssst ) most sons are absolutely nottttt
I have researched a lot about narcissist, but this is by far the best explanation! 🙏
Sigmund Freud (1914) published his theory of narcissism in a lengthy essay titled "On Narcissism: An Introduction". Freud postulated that all humans have a level of narcissism from birth (primary narcissism), it is healthy, and in time, evolves outward as love for others. Freud had declared that narcissism was a necessary intermediate stage between auto-eroticism and object-love, love for others. He also theorized that narcissism becomes a neurosis (secondary narcissism) when individuals who had reached the point of projecting their affections to others, turned their affection back on themselves. In time these individuals become cut off from society and uninterested in others.
@abraham mani wots this go to do with narcissism? I think you’ve replied to the wrong post
Wow, I’m blown away by this wisdom on “ the narcissist . Never heard such accuracy on this type
The idea for me is to treat the narcissist firmly yet compassionately as I would a petulant child with an emotional handicap. However, I should be careful not to come across as condescending or patronizing. I must be completely transparent and filled with the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. All of the attributes of the Ruach HaKodesh must be mastered and they all work together, if I am missing even one of them then I do not have the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Shalom! This is powerful, world-changing wisdom.
This is good. What does Petulant mean?
@@emilym6214 Thank you!
Off the top of my head, petulant means an insufferable attitude of self-centeredness. It's a childish behavior that if left unchecked carries forward to adulthood.
Shalom!
Exactly. You say: “I won’t do/say this for you, I don’t want to patronize you”
Amen!
Just wanted to thank you, Manis, for your life, your perseverance, your love of us all......see you in heaven brother, if not before.....may the Lord's joy be in us ALL always and forever
Perfectly, well-said.
This is brilliant. My personal experience with a narcissist to a T. Thank you for putting this information out there.
Or they demand, command, or manipulate you to make to make lunch. Omg. Thanks for the wisdom.
I am watching your videos for some time now and I find your words being righteous and right in many topics. A big thank you on your wise words.
What a great take on this topic. Clear and nonjudgmental
My sister is a narc. My parents did not spoil her, at all !
I agree wholeheartedly. Empaths draw narcissistic tyrants like a moth to the flame.
The problem with that is if the narcissist meets with a sigma empath. They will try and do everything in their power to destroy their lives.
I would like to say that narcissists hunt for empaths, and empaths unknowingly allow them in.
Sigma empath will put the Narcissists in their place
In process please pray us out each & every one of us 🙏🤲😇 thank u to all who will join in on behalf of the many bless u ❤️
Got a chuckle out of "You're constipated "😊
Very unique and accurate explanation of what Narcissism is basically all about.
To all who are commenting about parenting, and thinking that that Rabbi was affirming what you're saying, are infants spiritually. The Rabbi was simply referring to something important in shaping a child's view on the world. He was NOT saying that spoiling your child, etc., makes a Narc. Someone with NPD (narc personality disorder) is not birthed, but a child is abused or traumatized to the point that the brain is damaged from the trauma. The brain has the disorder. A narcissistic person, though not having the disorder, has had mesaging their whole life, usually from their parents, that they dont matter, so they spend their adult life trying to compensate for this. My mother has the disorder. I have cut her off. But at least I understand what has gone on and am healing. So many people talk and are completely uneducated about the words coming out of their own mouths. I'll pray for your children as they clearly need it.
Giving away money and food to others makes me smile 😄 If you have nothing now I am eager to help you out because I had once nothing and I was helped out by others. Don't be too serious.
😮 i always say that about narsassists 'they dont see beyond their own nose'... Waste of time anyone else being alive..
this is really good.. so much insight.. absolutely brilliant explanation .. like small children arnt they... 💜
Good lesson thank you Rabbi 😊😊😊
A narcissist believes not only that his life is for him but that ALL life is for them. A narcissist believes that they are more than G-D
You nailed it! And brought in the spiritual dimension😊
thank you for the wisdom, Rabbi.
I'm in so so so so so much pain.
The man whom I thought was my best friend,
discarded me like garbage. He gave me SEVERE PTSD.
(4 primary/core UNHEALTHY reasons relationships break down:
1. Contempt
2. Criticism
3. Stonewalling
4. Defensiveness)
Over four months of this horrific terror.
The PTSD is severe and intense.
The man whom I called my best friend,
ended up raping my soul...
PANIC AND TERROR
ALMOST CONSTANTLY FLOOD ME.
I am paralyzed and traumatized
and debilitated and breathless,
with almost-constant panic attacks.
I desperately pray for healing.
In February of this year (2023),
the man who I thought was my best friend...
Discarded me like garbage.
Replaced me for another.
In doing so...
He gave me SEVERE PTSD.
We're in June, now...
It's been over 4 months...
I MUST GET OVER THIS and MOVE ON...
Please, help me, God!
God, you have has blessed me to be a writer...🙌🏾
I humbly thank you and bow before you.
I pray to make use of this talent/blessing/gift!
Perhaps I write my way to healing?
I also want/pray to make myself ready,
with your miraculous help, oh God...
I want to be healed and purified,
that I may finally meet and spend my life with,
my twin-flame.
Here's what my trust is in: I don’t have to date.
I don't have to do those God-forsaken dating apps!
My kingdom spouse will locate me, he will come for me! 💍👰♀
Him, my twin-flame and I, are ordained to be together.
We are magnetized to one another: NOW, ALWAYS, ALL WAYS.
Maktub. It is written. It is God's will. Praise be to God!
Let me remind myself of how loving sex/intimacy can actually be.
(Because up until now, it's only been trauma for me...)
14 GENTLE URGENT REMINDERS, REAL/HEALTHY LOVE/SEX MEANS:
1) He also always (all ways) says he loves you outside the bedroom...
2) He looks DEEP into your eyes, into your soul, during sex/intimacy...
3) During sex: he wants full body contact... Hugs, caressing, hands all over your body
4) Spending quality intimate time together, both: before and after sex
5) Being intimate afterwards: cuddling, pillow-talk, playing, sleeping together closely
6) He prioritizes your pleasure, and attends to your needs and the things that you like
7) He pulls you in, super close and super intimate during sex
8) He compliments your personality, your character, your soul etc...
9) He kisses you with love and intimacy and passion
10) Slow seductive sensual lovemaking
11) He's open/vulnerable, he shows you his body, his insecurities, his fantasies
(without fear of judgement from you...)
12) He wants to meet your needs and he wants you to be satisfied
13) He understands when you don’t want sex and he doesn’t push or pressure
14) It’s not just about sex,
he's interested in conversation and outings and connecting:
outside the bedroom
AND PLEASE, GOD, LET ME ALSO ALWAYS REMEMBER:
The gift of rejection positions me for MY purpose!
The gift of rejection reveals what his role was/is: in my healing/destiny (THIS IS ALCHEMY)!
The gift of rejection draws me nearer to you, oh God! (As well as to my own soul!)
Rejection is redirection!🎉
Someone who is healthy is someone who:
1. wants REAL intimacy (and is capable of it, and willing to co-create it)
2. has their life (relatively) in order
3. genuinely likes and loves themselves
4. has healthy values and a healthy lifestyle
5. has deep self awareness
6. has a strong support network
7. is emotionally available and consistent
8. has a healthy vision for their future
9. can navigate conflict well
10. has a strong sense of self respect
I hope you've moved out if not moved on . Moved out of the deep deniel.
Never mind him , or anyone else, don't depend on others to make you happy.
As for him, why crave for something from him that's not there for him to give? It's like expecting rainfall in desert.
At least for the moment, it's better to lower the expectations about love/ sex/ relationship. The reality is, EXTREMELY few people ever get the perfect experience in love/sex/ relationship.
Craving for that perfect experience brings so much extra pain. Best to Let go of the craze for craving for emotions of others. Instead spend energies on cultivating selfcare❤, instead of sowing more negative emotions like fear and grief. Please don't allow yourself to go on a downward spiral. Much love to you my dear.
Thank you, Rabbi.
Don’t waste your time with a narcissist - move on and the quicker the better, same advice with an alcoholic; life is too short, get away and move on.
Thank you
Thanks for watching!
Really is so interesting how in today’s world people are trying to love themselves and give themselves compassion when they don’t know how to extend it to others. The only way that you could truly love yourself is if you could observe yourself, loving others and love yourself as you love others. Love oneself is not natural but to love oneself the way one loves others is. Narcissism is a love of self without a love of others
This has helped me so much
UNBEARABLE PAIN.
OCEAN OF GRIEF.
ENDLESS DARKNESS.
My soul is raped and I want to die.
The PTSD and the loneliness and the grief that he's given me...
Makes it so that I can't breathe.
I drowned. I suffocate. I die inside.
I'm in hell with no escape.
NO ESCAPE.
I need him.
I loved him.
He raped my soul:
brutally viciously violently maliciously.
Every night: nightmares.
Every day: panic attacks.
I want to die.
Every morning I wake up in despair,
desperately praying to die.
I can no longer bear the pain.
I could die from the pain of missing my best friend.
He betrayed and abandoned me, discarded me like garbage.
My mind can't fathom, my heart can't comprehend.
I live in perpetual panic and terror and loneliness and longing...
I'm so alone in the world. I die of fear.
I'm so fucking traumatized and terrorized and terrified.
I'm dying inside. My soul is raped.
He's given me severe PTSD. Severe! Severe! Severe!
How and when will I ever heal?
In 5 days, it'll be exactly 5 months...
God, as I walk through this hell and heartache and grief,
I pray you guide and direct and hold me...
I won't be stuck in hell anymore. Enough is enough!!!
It's time to be free: in Jesus's name!
I’m giving my life to Jesus! 100%!
REMINDER TO SELF:
When you chase a man,
you NEVER get the man,
and you ALWAYS lose yourself!
Thank you for this video❤
"if I am not for myself who will be for me and if I am for myself only what am I and if not now when?" Hillel one of my favorite quotes thanks for expressing this much needed understanding to us! Blessings to You Rabbi Friedman
Yes
Yup, If you dont love yourself, who’s gonna love you?
Shalom.boker tov todah.
Great message
Rabbi, another way to raise a narcissist is to teach the child that his existence is all about the parent. Not about himself, not about others, but all about and for the parent. The child grows up unable to love himself or others, and also to have deep resentment towards the parent. If you love such a person it will take years and years of enabling coupled with staying focused on preserving one's own existence. It can be lonely, frustrating, discouraging and hopeless at times. Only with the help of almighty God can you help that person to climb out of that dark pit. It is important to ask God's guidance in deciding whether to stay the course.
If I may, did you stay, and managed to " enable " as Rabbi explained ..
@@deela262 yes and it was a long and torturous 47 years. But the last 4 years have been nothing short of a miracle! I’m grateful to God every day.
One word a narcissistic personality can not tolerate…… the word NO….
Take the test and see….
Try …. No, (pause ,)thank you …smile…( don’t justify)…respect goes both ways…. ❤
Thank you! 🌻
we are all in a degree narcisist so we need to re-educate our mind . I Love his diet for living a good life
Live is give from God for free for anyone thanks Rabbi
The problem with many narcissists is they are so deluded into believing they ARE living for other people. They are the Messiah if you could just see it!
If u folks r thinkin u hav found th great Swami, u haven't listened to many good intellectuals. He right on sum points but tottaly misses it on others
Thank you Rabbi
Totally true especially on “self love”
My mother was a grandiose narcissist. When she wanted something she would throw a tantrum like a toddler. She would yell and scream and as she got older and needed a walker, she would slam it on the floor again and again. I loved her but did not like her. She was cruel and unkind. She never fixed us children breakfast or lunch. Our father did. She couldn't be bothered. She came down with lung cancer and I dutifully took her to all her appointments, fetched groceries, cooked, cleaned, and yet, one really cold day I rolled her wheelchair out to the passenger side of the car, I asked her to not move until I locked the wheels. Well, she did move. She slid herself down to the concrete. When I tried to pick her up, she would tell me that I was hurting her. I called 911 and an ambulance crew came, picked her up, and set her into the car. She just loved to tell anyone who would listen that I dumped her into the street as if I was some type of psycho. When she died, it was as if a heavy backpack just lifted off my shoulders. She would not allow me to contact a Rabbi before she died. She knew it all. She had to have it her way.
Sad story. Be all she was not
dealing with them is easy. stop communicating completely and remove them.
the real problem is spotting them in the first place.
I know a person who was an only child. He fits well into this description!
The spooled only child concept has plagued me all my life. Not all of us were pampered. 😀
Thank you so much.
Dear family, dear Rabbi Manis....the book," the inescapable love of God" by Thomas Talbot, is a wonderful explication of Yawehs' inescapable, infinitely capable love, it's also helpful in relatng to followers of Rabbi Yeshua, as it gives a radically different picture/interpretation of him, opposite of that in conservative Christianity, for it reveals that the God he called, creator, father , Savior, loves all without exception, has no special children, no favorites and has mercy on all, loves unconditionally, including Her/His enemies and takes all to heaven as completely holy, changed beings
Yes, but if we're here to serve God and people then we are also being served at all times as well. The problem is that there just aren't enough people who think this way! So what then? We all have to survive, so what must we do?
Oh you hit the nail on the head.....the name c I knew did not share .In fact he resented me for asking for my worth but rambled I n and and on about how women don't know their worth...I'm.a Catholic..he's a Catholic his wife is a Jewish lady who was a nurse ...the more I did the worse he got.
Covert narcissism is more common and can be greatly hidden in religious society
Pharisees were them
I think Friedman was talking about grandiose narcissists and even they can be very tricky - they are smart , they won’t expose themselves on public but look for easy victims
I think overcaring of mother’s their children can make children be raised narcissistic
Regarding the comments on parenting, not sure that’s quite right. The narcissism actually comes from the fact that the parent convinces the child that they are nothing without whatever thing that they are getting them. So the child becomes anxious when they can’t have the thing that they perceive themselves to need because the parents have falsely convinced the child that they need that to be loved and accepted.
Like, for example, if everybody in the family wears really nice clothes and they share with the child that poor people are not like them, Then that child will feel like they need to constantly buy expensive clothes to be happy
Similarly, if the family believes that only skinny people are lovable than the child will develop an unhealthy relationship around food.
Healthier to be a “selfish” parent and demand that your child chip in And stop worrying about how fat they are or what they’re wearing and just help out. All of a sudden, all of your needs and problems go away and start to take care of themselves
Actually, I have found there are people who are do-ers and very charitable. Yet, if you see how they are within their closest circle, i.e., family, they are closer to narcissist than generous giver.
I agree unless you have server trauma. Its called survival mode
My life is actually for me..sir
Leavitt
in that devotion to cater to life,other beings, not just oneself, is the empathy intimacy compassion,etc, Love wich narcs lack completely. is also reason of human society degradation and alot of other problems and sickness disease drama and war. all very unnatural again, where nature is full of love so divine love is also peace.
I dont think that I am or I have met a narcisist, but I believe that I might have or might have met people with narcisistic conflicts at sifferent degrees
I’m struggling with this
I'm sorry, Rabbi, but I'm going to have to take issue with your ideas. A narcissist feels that the whole world revolves around them. That you serve them, or you're garbage! That they are NEVER wrong! You deal with them by either ignoring them, or you call them out on their behavior. Period!
I've had the displeasure of dealing with them all my life.
So Rabbi, I disagree with you.
I feel like if you call them out they make you more miserable and blame you for everything.... has this been your experience when trying to call them out on something?
i think everyone feels that the whole world revolves around them. thats probably the normal experience. what you do with it is what counts.
You point is well taken. There are many roads to self induced destruction.
@abrahammani-3445This is a Jewish channel. Take your New Testament some place else. How would you like it if a Muslim wrote their scriptures on your site?
B"H For awhile i have been praying to H" to show me how I might be a narcissist concerning H" /and concerning others...wow! Did He show me, every few days (every few hous too) it seems that i have Ego,but THAT bad...(it gets worse and i hope to be reminded)
Kol HaKavod. You are probably not a Narcissist by the way because you are clearly working on yourself. As important as it is to be honest with yourself that you need to work on your ego, it is just as important to be honest and acknowledge that you are taking brave steps to change. I"YH you will get the changes that you want, but as you change everything else changes in response too. So be patient with yourself and make room for mourning the loss of your old self, friends, and other's reactions to you. I'YH you make new relationships and/or able to redefine your old ones. B'Hatzlocha. Thank you for bringing more light and kindness and friendship into our world.
@@gilashroot8697 Have listened to Rav Manis 45 years,often.When i wrote the above i knew that, but thanks for your real concern!!! {Like, with the מקושש העצים} May H" Bless us all!.
@@RasMajnouni sending love. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
@@gilashroot8697 B"H,THAT is what HaShem gives us Time for czcams.com/video/lvwpNkJd82w/video.html
If you think you’re a narc, then you probably aren’t !
thx
Are you doing a tour of the UK, by any chance? 😃
No reeducating an adult
i try to serve god in my way
I probably really am constipated
I stay as far away as possible
If you're a narcissist and ya know it, raise your hand ✋✋✋ 😂😂😂
Me,Myself ,I and my Nefesh Bahamit too
@abraham mani Amen brother!
✨
Wow 😮
Can we love others if we did not love ourselves first? How could we possibly know how?
@abraham mani Ok but I don't see your point.
That’s a bot just spamming. If you check the replies to the comments on this video, the same exact statement is being said, regardless if it does or does not make since with what the original commenter was saying.
We see that in trumph
Could you add to the notes a bio of this speaker?
Me n my son are suffering from 15years
If I had that much money, I could change the world.. I got a couple grand... That is about it...
What is the cure for Narcissism? Humility
@abraham mani You missed the part, where Jesus compared himself to the copper serpent! We find out the copper serpent gets crushed! The same fate Jesus suffered at the hands of the Romans.
“As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up;... John 3:14
And it was in the third year of Hoshea the son of Elah, the king of Israel, that Hezekiah the son of Ahaz the king of Judah, became king. He was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem, and his mother's name was Abi the daughter of Zechariah. And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, like all that his father David had done. He ABOLISHIED the high places, and SMASHED the monuments, and CUT DOWN the asherah, and CRUSHED THE COPPER
SERPENT that Moses had made, for until those days the children of Israel were burning incense to it; and he called it NEHUSHTAN. He trusted in the God of Israel there was none like him among all the
kings of Judah who were after him, nor were there before him. He cleaved to the Lord; HE DID NOT TURN AWAY from following Him; HE KEPT HIS COMMANDMENTS, which He had commanded Moses.
2 Kings 18:1-6
What s the remedy for this, if there is one
A near death experience or a sudden spiritual awakening in the body, maybe Ayahuasca….basically, a slim chance 😌
Leaving.
Wishing you all love as seems like you have personal experience and therefore pain. I"YH you heal your pain and get the distance you need from these people in your life. Sending love and healing.
@abrahammani-3445 Ironically didn't Abraham leave Ur on account of escaping idolatry - relevant for narcissism. Idolatry of the self.
You are so enouing. Don't you knew saying God / Yeshua is the same one, is idolatry?
Saying that God has been reincarnated in flash - just like the new testemant says - is idolatry?
You forgot to say that the new testement says - death to those who keeps laws of Torah!
????
And that God (the first husbend!!) is dead and thats why there is no need to keep any laws anymore....
Don't you reed your own new testiment?
Delete your spam comments to evrey coment on this video.
Okay, but how do you handle one? That was the promotional title of the video.
According to the question, it is understood that you did not listen to the end or did not listen well.
Do not do anything at the same time while watching the video, watch the video at a lower speed and then everything will be clear and understandable.
@@user-jn6jm4bb6f You are truly a bad person.
@@ellasoes8325 Sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention at all. I suggested something that I myself do, when I don't understand someone on CZcams that is very important to me to understand, I lower the speed to 0.75, mute and stop all the other things around me. Again, sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention
there is no cure for narcissist? that‘s really sad. That means you have to get rid of this person? It‘s the only option?
B''H, Amen
Someone has to my sister to release my money. I could have moved.
❤❤❤
I literally said, “OH HELL F*** NO!” When He said, “The only way to deal with a narcissist is to cater to them.”
You have to keep listening to get to the point. Rabbi's are like that they take you on a confusing journey then hit you with a truth bomb lol
Analise muito rasa. Nao considerou que narcisismo pode vir de deficiencia cerebral. Ou genetica. Bioquimica cerebral diferente. Mas como agem alguns narcisistas é tipico o que foi falado no video.
That's my husband and its awful
Run and hide.
#screamingtothesky
Can you help me be Jewish? Please. I hope you will answer. If you hear me I will share my details. God bless
2 of my brothers went after the Israeli army service to India to "find the truth"(1975).A Hindu man asked them"Who is your G-d"? They said "G-d of the Jews and the whole world". He told them to go home, they did and they went to yeshivah upon returning to Israel, have BAH"R whole Tribes of children,grandchildren in Israel.FIRST be YOU as G-d intended and may you be blessed by HaShem
@abrahammani-3445 B"H WAS Johnny a Yid? Most likely. WHERE did Johnny get it FROM? Internet via Wikipedia? THE only Media in Israel 2000 years ago was Torah in every home, on the street, in the NEWS daily. & and the Roman European Christian Pagans that came from Rome to conquer us .{You say that John and Yoshkeh were born later? Yes, about 200 years, not long after but let'sface it. Rudolph and Adolph the Reindeers,your multi-Viking idol gods are the main source for ADE 500-2023 centuries of the funny little "find the colored egg" fictions made up 3 thousand years ago.The very TERM : "Messhiach" is a Torah term, when Yoshkeh mentioned "Masiach" ALL the Jews in Israel KNEW what he meant. YOUR Romans, Germanic tribes, French Saxon took 500-1200 years to accept Dee Jay Jee Zues. Cringe Goy
First watch rabbi tovia singer’s videos on being a noahide, but if your still intent on converting to Judaism then contact a rabbi from an orthodox synagogue near you.
@Rabbi Manis Friedman : Would you consider a Zionist to be a narcissist?
Push crappy advice on someone, see that it doesn’t work, observe that they are in worse condition than before, and repeat… is that what you’re saying?
@abraham mani amen 🙏🏻
How did you get back on me... No such angele's could do this...
Someone is pretending to be your son.. say's your wife needs a watch ⌚
I cannot cater to these people
Rabbi, go address your own FAMILY ISSUES AND COME CLEAN ABOUT THAT FIRST ✔️ BEFORE YOU ADDRESS ANY PSYCHOLOGY.
so u would say skinny people are narcs and there no fat narcs? lmao
You are a narcissist in highest level
do you deny Jesus ?
♥️🙏🏻
,#to serve means to serve a narcissist