It feels like they found an old file of an original pre-RLM video review and wanted to spoof it. CAUSE ITS REALLY REALLY REMINISCENT OF EARLY OG CZcams LOL
I've been trying to show my friend you guys for years and he told me 3 months ago he finally got around to watching one and it had really bad audio and its wasn't "funny like I said" so he stopped less than a minute in I'm just realizing this is that video
Grape Culture multiple high definition cameras, good microphones, subtle editing, soundproof room and actually knowing what they talk about. How is that lazy?
Zia doesn’t immediately operate after she’s graduated, she’s supposed to gain experience from classes. She was supposed to intern at Jurassic World, but the I Rex ruined her plans.
How about Let's Proofread! our comments? A vet dinosaur would imply she's a dinosaur. Who's also a vet. As far as I can tell from the trailers and this review, she's a human. Who's also a vet.
I was so relieved when they cut from the closet in the opening. I could imagine Mike wanting to do the gag for the entire video and Jay needing to talk him out of it.
You know what doesn't stand the test of time? That show, as much as I wanted it to. Thought I'll watch it all again anyway, because Shout! Factory distributes it.
Nilmon Grrr I'm Linkara and I am going to talk in my angry nasal voice about something even people who can draw a deck plan of the Enterprise from memory don't care about Better?
My take is that inside the RLM canon universe, Jay and Mike are VCR repairmen who actually make videos like the first section of this episode on their off-time, and all their best conversation and commentary on movies happens during their work hours, _after_ those videos have been posted online.
RochesFan: Why are you a fan of cockroaches? Yuck. (JK) Anyways, your comment has solved the mysteries of the universe, unlocked the doors of perception, and explained 42. Hats off. (Of course, I doubt the hack frauds are quite THAT meta, but meh. Whaddoo I no?)
I don't get why everyone acts like dinosuars around them is just a part of life now. There's only like 20 dinosuars let loose. It may take a few days, or a week or something, but they'll get wiped out by the military. If a lion breaks out of a zoo, a city basically shuts down until it's recaptured, or killed. There's a Trex, and a raptor running around? Welp, land of the dinosaurs!!! Oh well!!
Especially the stupid circumstances they show some of them in. Like, there's one raptor in the mountains of Arizona or whatever. Is it adapted to survive out there? Probably not. Is it going to reproduce on its own? Yes, probably, because they need another sequel called Jurassic Dawn.
Some guy had that happen when they recommended RLM to their friend. Apparently he got less than a minute into this video before shutting it off, and told his friend "they were shit wtf man how do you watch this garbage??" or something to that effect, not even getting far enough in to realize it was a bit.
7:45 Interestingly enough, in the book, Hammond is the villain. He's a lot less grandfatherly and more of a selfish jerk and it's made clear that he is responsible for everything that happens.
@@andrewdietz5894 Yes and no. He did write the screenplay of the movie but he wasn't the only one. David Koepp is also credited as screenplay writer. We can't know which ideas came from whom but we could take a wild guess that the changes come from the person who didn't write the book and was hired to help adapt the story to a movie script.
I never really took in just how well these reviews are put together until I saw this ridiculous flat-camera, echoey intro. Makes you appreciate all the effort that much more.
I remember writing a short story when I was a kid about dinosaurs being made and put into a park except the walls weren't tall enough so they climbed over the walls and took over the world. Humanity then fled earth into outer space in giant bubbles of oxygen. Note that I am open to selling the rights to my story to any studios.
Theres a video on CZcams theorizing that the indoraptor was actually mixed with human DNA. The auctioneer didnt reveal what it actually is and said its two of the deadliest species to walk on Earth. So it could be man.
The writers of Fallen Kingdom, as well as one of the writers of Dawn of Justice and Justice League, are credited as writers for Star Wars IX. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Honestly, I don't see why you are acting like this. Fanboys like you guys just wanted a reboot of Empire, fan theories confirmed and scripts like Wookipedia articles. I trust the directors of JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson a fuck ton more than I trust Zack Snyder and J. A. Bayona.
Gackt4awesome I definitely didn’t want just a repeat of Empire. I just wanted a good story, idc about the fan theories. TLJ made me lose most of the interest I had in this new trilogy though, and I was excited to see where they were going after the force awakens(and hoping it wasn’t just another remake). Just because some of us didn’t like the last Jedi doesn’t mean we want the same crap over and over.
Maybe Disney can get involved and make a new Star Wars/Jurassic World Cinematic Universe with a Darth Maulasaurus that teams up with a colony of Jar Jar Binkcerotops and attacks Tattooine
Stunning and brave. Bravo! I hope those script writers are taking notes. Let's hope Owen Thunderguns gets a leading part, I heard Disney finally plans on tackling the lack of representation of the one legged Irish drag queens...
i love how in the first movie it explains how those ball cars can take a 50 cal bullet but yet in this movie he shoots it UNDER WATER with a smaller gun and prys it off with a knife to save them
He got engulfed by a pyroclastic flow(400km/h up to 800°C) and got out fine, his clothes too. The ball bullet thing is retarded, but not the dumbest thing there by *FAR*
I thought the part where Buffalo Bill cuts off a t-rex's face and wears it as a mask was a little bit bizarre. Especially when he starts having sex with a big fat scientist. Wait, the theater sent me a text... ...REPLIGATOR!?
When that little girl pushed that button and said that ridiculous line, I literally had an involuntary PTSD flashback to Rose Tico dooming the Rebellion and saying the "saving what we love" line
...what? You must have walked out of the theater too soon. The rebellion made it out, you waffle goblin. You stool. You walnut. Rey literally saved them with the force.
I cant really for the life of me think of a good military application for dinosaurs. There's the shock factor I suppose, but it's not like we're currently putting grizzly bears in flak armor and air dropping them all over the place. I guess you could destabilize a region with some rexes or raptors or a fuck load of compies or some shit, but then you have a destabilized war torn region *full of dinosaurs*. Its so many extra steps. You dont need dinosaurs to commit war crimes. I'm so confused. That one short fella said there were some pharmaceutical buyers at the sale so maybe pachy bile can cure E.D. or Rex spugum's good for your teeth, I don't know, this movie was dumb.
No, that human cloning thing was great! It means we're going to get that bad first draft of Jurassic World where they start cross splicing people and dinos! It's going to be a hoot.
But it's also more like the episodes Emergence, or Evolution, or Quality of life, where they create some form of life that then turns out to have self awareness, so they find themselves faced with the prime directive.
The thing that really got me is that there's a town like 5 miles away from the mansion. They're gonna have a rough night because of some dumb 4 year old
22:30 Mike’s assessment of what “happens in movies” (stock writing) regarding Owen Thunderguns getting chewed out at a greasy spoon diner is almost exactly how Dave Bautista’s story in Army of the Dead starts.
By the next trilogy, the dinosaurs have extinguished the human race; But a group of mad dinosaurs de-extinguish them to open up a human-themed amusement park.
33:09 RLM doesn't get enough credit for its absurdist horror bits. This is actually kind of creepy - till you remember its Rich Evans and there are Canadians in the foreground.
Roland from the lost world wasn't THAT bad. He actually had an ideal that he believed in. He was a hunter and lived for the thrill of hunting predators. He even said that ingen could keep his fee for exchange of hunting the Male t rex. He has a brief exchange with Vince Vaughn about half way through the movie and he relates himself to the man who climbed Everest without any oxygen. By the end of the his role in the movie, he lost his friend and was extremely upset and had a realization and called ingen the company of death. That's proper character writing. These clowns are just cartoonishly bad that its unbelievable.
In the novel, John Hammond absolutely is the villain. He's not idealistic, just greedy. He cared about nobody's lives, not even his grandchildren. And, Dr. Wu is the scientist who actually created the dinosaurs. I always thought it a bit odd that he plays such a small role in the first film.
Well he did die in the book on the roof, but that scene was skipped entirely in the movie. Actually, almost all personnel just kind of disappeared except the few we see.
I'm sure someone sent this to William Shatner at some point as proof of how professional and good RLM is and how he should definitely be on their podcast
This movie is not terrible in a fun way. There’s only one reason to go watch this: if you have a 5-year-old that loves dinosaurs. The you’re probably going to see this work of art many many times...
When I saw the people hiding from the Indoraptor in the elevator, I fully expected the creature to just punch the code to open it. Frankly, at that point it would have fit the movie perfectly. I'm actually a bit let down that it didn't happen. It was all so ridiculous at that point that I just thought the damn dinosaur was going to pick up a rifle and start shooting people down.
CZcams allows over ten minutes of Mike Stoklasa mumbling about Star Trek, intermittently chewing Next Generation game pieces like Orbitz, but GOD FORBID two Canadians try to run a legitimate VCR repair business
Hey remember in Revenge of Sith when Anakin and Obi Wan have their big lightsaber fight and George Lucas thought to spice it up by exploding a volcano and spew lava all over the place.?
I agree the movie is baffling schlock but Cromwell’s line about Hammond wanting dinosaurs to be free to roam as they please is actually a reference to the final scene from The Lost World: Jurassic Park where we see Dino beauty shots cut against Hammond giving a CNN interview saying the same thing.
Can't believe they didn't mention the scene where Blue the raptor can apparently read English. There's the gas leak that's about to explode, and he looks at the sign that says 'flammable' and knows immediately to start running away.
mike42192 I just saw it for the second time last night and blue sniffs the gas then runs away. I got annoyed by it in the theater because I thought the same thing
Honestly I feel it was just mocking beginer vlogers who aren't used to talking on a camera, kind of cool coming from people who very clearly are the opposite... ...or your take works too...idk its open to interpretation! :/
Well true, everyone has to start somewhere but there are plenty of channels out there who has existed for yrs that do nothing more than put up a camera and talks into it for 30 minutes. It is soooo boring. Angry Joe comes to mind, who started of reviewing games which he does really good but his movie talks videos is effing booooring. It's him an his two friend talking into a camera for way too long.
I disagree with the idea that Ted Levine's and Pete Postlethwaite's characters are at all equivalent to each other. Ted Levine is literally just a cartoonish villain-type character in this movie, but at least Pete Postlethwaite's character had enough depth that he mourned the deaths of his men even though their mission was successful. And I hated The Lost World, so good luck seeing me ever standing up to defend it again.
It honestly feels like they rewrote Levine's character during the shooting. Note how his first few scenes seem to lay ground for his conflict with Zia to be resolved presumably by learning to appreciate each other's respective skills as part of the team. It is only at the Blue scene where Wheatley suddenly makes a definite U-turn into a card-carrying villain.
"You see, what we did is we trained these raptors to attack anything the lasers shine on. So we implanted a chip in the brain of THIS ONE raptor and fitted him out with 10 separate lasers so he could lead a full 10-raptor squad on his own at the push of a button!"
This is truly one of the dumbest films I have ever seen. I was suppressing laughter throughout the whole film and was shocked to see the audience around me wasn't laughing. Some of the most mindblowingly funny parts for me were: the opening scene with the water dinosaur chomping the guy off the ladder pointedly cutting to Clare's boots to prove they're not sexist, guys the very image of a dinosaur running around a mansion is comedy gold btw the fact that the Indoraptor straight out winks when playing dead the elevator death scene the Indorapter suddenly being on the roof?? Where and when?? the Indoraptor turning into Freddy Kreuger for a moment reaching its claw over Maisie's bed absolutely everything about obtaining T-Rex blood the horribly obvious exposition in the reveal of the genetically modified girl the over-the-top, curly-mustached bidders that looked like cartoon supervillains the fact that the Pachycephalosaurus somehow knows how to get an elevator to the correct floor?? "I had to let them go because they're alive... like me" forgetting that Franklin was a character in the film at all, and then him popping up in an incredibly stupid climactic scene the slapstick-y way they were avoiding the Indoraptor by circling around the Triceratops bones display just out of sight... like the world's greatest ever predator would fall for that schtick the rooftop Indoraptor vs Blue fight scene ending with the impaling scene the very concept that genetically engineered dinsoaurs are being used for military purposes when we have, y'know, tanks watching the trucks with dinos being shipped out of the auction and thinking... where will people be hosting them? In massive cages they've already built? Big garages? Racquetball courts? the concept dinosaurs will roam free in America and live among us rather than them either being secured as a threat or gunned down by hobbyist hunters making the final line of the film "...Jurassic World" It became so schlocky at the end that I hoped the dinosaurs would just eat everyone in a lot of horrible horror set pieces a la Wish Upon. My biggest problem with the film was that they tried and failed to give it emotional stakes... miss me with that Brontosaurus death scene. They embraced the stupidity halfway through the film and I wish they had from the beginning.
What puzzled me the most about the end is that there were only a handful of dinosaurs left that escaped, yet they act like dinosaurs have suddenly taken over the world. Does the world just idly stand by while like 20 dinosaurs run amok? I can picture the sequel being in a post apocalyptic world kinda like those terrible Resident Evil movies, and evil corporate bad guy is trying to build a massive park to keep the dinosaurs in, except it all goes wrong and humanity learns not to tamper with DNA, until the next time a movie needs to happen. Again.
rkgk1517 and why did Claire put the John Deer hat on? And twice you see humans as strong dinosaurs. The black kid hold on to the metal chair when the t rex has it in his mouth. And two guys are pulling down a brontasaurs with ropes tied its neck
That opening was a _scarily_ accurate rendition of everybody's first CZcams attempt at a review series lol
Thought I was on a Chris Stuckman video for a minute...
@@HowlingEcko it didn't have the iconic acoustic guitar intro
It feels like they found an old file of an original pre-RLM video review and wanted to spoof it. CAUSE ITS REALLY REALLY REMINISCENT OF EARLY OG CZcams LOL
@@HowlingEcko i could tell it wasnt chris stuckmann because it wasnt someome crying at a joke someone made about them
It is probably an attempt to copy schmoes know reviews. One of them embarrassed himself on that one Collider Podcast episode.
"Most weapons are easier to control than a dinosaur." - Sun Tzu
He who keep hand in pocket feel cocky all day - Sun Tzu
who else wants a trex tooth sword
Doom guy’s wise quote of a quote
"Always attach laser beams to your cows before riding into battle." - Sun Poop (Farts of War)
WTF?
I've been trying to show my friend you guys for years and he told me 3 months ago he finally got around to watching one and it had really bad audio and its wasn't "funny like I said" so he stopped less than a minute in
I'm just realizing this is that video
And that friend was William Shatner
Please update me on this story. I desire to know if they finally got to see RLM in true form
@@AGameNetwork I stopped working there a while back. When I left he still hadn't watched them and he was mostly into tiktok 🤷♂️
@@bleachfamingtoniii7196 lost cause then
@@bleachfamingtoniii7196 No wonder he couldn't last past a minute
Turn down to 144p and experience the beginning how it was ment to be.
Just as how David Lynch wanted us to experience it
OMG you totally nailed it!
I keep waiting for a guy in a turban and a facemask carrying a knife to come into shot...
Oh gosh
Thank you
That intro really makes you appreciate their actual content
Carlos yrah it could be so so much better
No it doesnt
Grape Culture multiple high definition cameras, good microphones, subtle editing, soundproof room and actually knowing what they talk about.
How is that lazy?
That's exactly how I feel, haha
As does the outro LOL.
A dinosaur vet who's never seen a dinosaur really sold me.
HOly shit lets read is here
I love your content
Zia doesn’t immediately operate after she’s graduated, she’s supposed to gain experience from classes. She was supposed to intern at Jurassic World, but the I Rex ruined her plans.
who the hell is lets read?
@Hamdon Nut that good but who the hell is let's read.
How about Let's Proofread! our comments? A vet dinosaur would imply she's a dinosaur. Who's also a vet.
As far as I can tell from the trailers and this review, she's a human. Who's also a vet.
I was so relieved when they cut from the closet in the opening. I could imagine Mike wanting to do the gag for the entire video and Jay needing to talk him out of it.
The intro is like every movie reviewer on youtube back in 2008.
That's the joke
You mean 2018.
Or Sibling Rivalry in 2018.
Fuck, I forgot that was a thing... Damn.
06 - 08 best years for shitty avgn/nostalgia critic review stlye clones.
The opening had a wonderful raw authenticity to it but the rest was just a soft reboot of the last episode but with less sasquatch.
Maximus Ironthumper Are you talking about the movie or the review? I'm so confused. Like Rich Evans level confused.
You have no idea what "reboot" means.
r0bw00d Reboot means bad CGI kids show right?
You know what doesn't stand the test of time? That show, as much as I wanted it to. Thought I'll watch it all again anyway, because Shout! Factory distributes it.
A seaboot?
Wow, I almost thought this was a Nostalgia Critic video at the beginning.
Κ ο μ ν η ν ό ς no one is being abused nothing like a nostalgia Critic video
Nilmon
Grrr I'm Linkara and I am going to talk in my angry nasal voice about something even people who can draw a deck plan of the Enterprise from memory don't care about
Better?
It lacked the 80,000$ budget wasted on NC videos.
You can tell the difference because in HitB they don't spend 99% of the time harping on bad/dated/good-but-it's-CGI-so-it's-bad CGI
There was a lack of sexual abuse to be nostalgia critic.
"We'll get into the little girl." Jay Bauman, 2018.
2018*
...unless this has happened before :/
Typographical Error. No Edit button on CZcams.
But I've edited mine before
Couchpatator you did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it!
Oh, uncle Paul...
I can't wait for a prequel to this series that delves deeply into dinosaur economic trade disputes and dinosaur politics
The dumbest thing is that the characters return to the island.
With a young John Hammond and his master, qui gon jinn
If it stars Ian McDiarmid and Ewan McGregor, then I'm fine with it
It'll be like Planet of the Apes..
.. but with dinosaurs.
@@shadowcouncil9570 I'd watch that movie.
I love hearing Mike saying "smash that like button" with practically no enthusiasm. It just feels so warm.
Whenever Mike says anything without enthusiasm, I feel I have a soulmate.
Yeah
My take is that inside the RLM canon universe, Jay and Mike are VCR repairmen who actually make videos like the first section of this episode on their off-time, and all their best conversation and commentary on movies happens during their work hours, _after_ those videos have been posted online.
RochesFan During their work hours AND when they're drunk.
Much Lynch, very cool!
Congrats. You understood the joke.
When I read this comment I wasn't expecting my whole perspective on RLM to be irreversibly altered
RochesFan: Why are you a fan of cockroaches? Yuck. (JK) Anyways, your comment has solved the mysteries of the universe, unlocked the doors of perception, and explained 42. Hats off. (Of course, I doubt the hack frauds are quite THAT meta, but meh. Whaddoo I no?)
so once they have replaced the humans as the dominant species on earth they will build houses and evolve into "indoor-raptors"
and then create videogames, social media platforms and stream
So that's how global warming ends
Perfect
McDiddlyee They’ll make King Kong in japan and Godzilla in America
Wouldn't that be a Dinosaurs reboot?
the opening reminded me of nostalgia critic's technical incompetence on how to shoot or edit a review video
100% came here to say this. The audio especially. Same with Angry Joe
@I'm fed up with this world! lol angry Joe especially doesn't understand how lavalier mics or sound leveling works
@ I've never seen anything to show that Doug Walker himself ever did anything scummy
@@Xvladin Further research required.
@@Xvladin it sounded like he just didn't do anything about the harassment going on with his staff and brother.
Next trilogy: Jurassic Universe. The dinosaurs now discovered how to travel to other planets.
How about a space-velociraptornado?
@Kjell Don't tell Mike.
So, Dino Crisis 3
Don't give Universal any more ideas (The J.P franchise needs to die)!!
That sounds like star craft where the zerg conquer planets
The volcano in this movie broke new ground.
☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)
My favorite RLMism yet.
OH MY GAAAAAWD
"He's subverting your expectations by making you think you're watching a complete film".
Eric Keller he’s laughing all the way to the bank
@@markcubanz43 yeah I was just quoting my favorite line from this episode.
I don't get why everyone acts like dinosuars around them is just a part of life now. There's only like 20 dinosuars let loose. It may take a few days, or a week or something, but they'll get wiped out by the military.
If a lion breaks out of a zoo, a city basically shuts down until it's recaptured, or killed. There's a Trex, and a raptor running around? Welp, land of the dinosaurs!!! Oh well!!
I was out on the reboot when they had the Raptors trained like Guard dogs......
That was so stupid.
They lost me with that dumb comic book villain who wanted to have Velociraptors in the US Army...
Especially the stupid circumstances they show some of them in. Like, there's one raptor in the mountains of Arizona or whatever. Is it adapted to survive out there? Probably not. Is it going to reproduce on its own? Yes, probably, because they need another sequel called Jurassic Dawn.
The military? The were let loose in the US, the 2nd amendment is going to take care of them.
Mike and Jay in the bottom of the frame in a shitty, poorly lit echo chamber might be the funniest thing I see in my sleep deprived week.
Conga King I wonder if that was just mike’s laundry.
50% speed makes It even better
we'll get into the little girl
-jay bauman
Plot twist: the "grandfather" of the little girl is the rich guy from the very beginning of the second movie, who was vacationing on the island.
Phrasing
And context.
Whats the best thing about fucking twenty nine year olds?
*Theres twenty of em!*
triplesix oh nooo
"two comic relief diversity hires" lol
Imagine if this was your first Half in the Bag and that intro starts.
Some guy had that happen when they recommended RLM to their friend. Apparently he got less than a minute into this video before shutting it off, and told his friend "they were shit wtf man how do you watch this garbage??" or something to that effect, not even getting far enough in to realize it was a bit.
"This got 15,000 views in 6 minutes? What the hell?"
I like how they still keep calling him Owen Thunderguns
@@Jose_Hunters_EWF_Remixes It is his name. Owen Thunderguns in „Owen Thunderguns: Jurassic Park“ coming to theaters Fall 2032!
@BK Beatty Brady, as in the Bunch
Rich Evans is a clever girl
Yummy
Dick the Clever Girl
Fun fact - Arnold Schwarzenegger used that line before Jurassic Park
His movement is so slow he’s imperceptible to the eye.
7:45
Interestingly enough, in the book, Hammond is the villain. He's a lot less grandfatherly and more of a selfish jerk and it's made clear that he is responsible for everything that happens.
AKA, a realistic depiction of most billionaires.
@@PsychoGallagher Crichton wrote the screenplay for the first movie. For all intents and purposes, the movie universe is also "Crichton's version".
@@andrewdietz5894 Yes and no. He did write the screenplay of the movie but he wasn't the only one. David Koepp is also credited as screenplay writer.
We can't know which ideas came from whom but we could take a wild guess that the changes come from the person who didn't write the book and was hired to help adapt the story to a movie script.
@@NealX_Gaming How would you know? Have you ever met any billionaires?
@@NealX_Gaming Actually its most humans, rich or poor.
I never really took in just how well these reviews are put together until I saw this ridiculous flat-camera, echoey intro.
Makes you appreciate all the effort that much more.
@uNnHkP8mza big guy
"We'll get into the little girl." - Jay Bauman, 2018
Darude Sandstorm Jay is a well known sex pervert
Mike: "That's what Roman Polanski said"
*slide whistle*
Susan is a well-known sex offender in Milwaukee.
you mean Sex Weirdo?
*Clicks ahead 15 minutes just to make sure*
Your lack of faith is disturbing.
"They are alive, like me"
I was hoping that she would have ripped her skin off to reveal she was a cloned dinosaur instead of a clone
I remember writing a short story when I was a kid about dinosaurs being made and put into a park except the walls weren't tall enough so they climbed over the walls and took over the world. Humanity then fled earth into outer space in giant bubbles of oxygen. Note that I am open to selling the rights to my story to any studios.
Did you just write Jurassic world three
Ah, yes. I think it was called “Billy and the Cloneasaurus”
Good one direktor Skinner
I’m not a studio, but I have 20 bucks and a half eaten bag of Skittles
"Greenlit!"
- Netflix
I'm calling it now.
>2015: Indominous[sic] Rex
>2018: Indoraptor
>2021: Indosapien Superior
I kept incorrectly hearing "Egoraptor".
Literally just an Indian man roaring and chasing people to defend the Hindu faith.
Theres a video on CZcams theorizing that the indoraptor was actually mixed with human DNA. The auctioneer didnt reveal what it actually is and said its two of the deadliest species to walk on Earth. So it could be man.
Indodactyl vs Indocerotops
I L L E G A L M O N S T E R A U C T I O N
ImperfectWeapons your avatar somewhat fits the comment
Garrett McGinnis
It sounds like the kind of shit they'd watch on Best of the Worst.
MiniJaguar
No matter what I say, somebody usually comes along to tell me that.
ImperfectWeapons maybe because people have kermit's voice in their head as they read it.
ImperfectWeapons that was my name in high school
Biggest Plot Hole: When the toxic gas is leaking out they could have hit the red button first and left them all in the cages but let in fresh air.
its a special gas that doesnt move much
Just another example of something that just has to happen because the plot needs to move forward moment.
That's not a plot hole, it's a convenience
@@oliaustfjor6247 plot hole
@@sgtmonkeypirate nope
This movie was written by the same dude who wrote Rise of Skywalker, that makes complete and total sense
my god he is!! this makes so much sense, keep this dude away from writing movies, holy fuck
The writers of Fallen Kingdom, as well as one of the writers of Dawn of Justice and Justice League, are credited as writers for Star Wars IX. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Good, somebody has to put the final nail into that coffin. Those are some grade A hack writers, if somebody will get the job done, it's them.
Dude, JJ Abrams is the one directing it though.
Alex to be fair, Martin can't even finish writing GoT before he dies of cheeseburgers
Honestly, I don't see why you are acting like this. Fanboys like you guys just wanted a reboot of Empire, fan theories confirmed and scripts like Wookipedia articles.
I trust the directors of JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson a fuck ton more than I trust Zack Snyder and J. A. Bayona.
Gackt4awesome I definitely didn’t want just a repeat of Empire. I just wanted a good story, idc about the fan theories. TLJ made me lose most of the interest I had in this new trilogy though, and I was excited to see where they were going after the force awakens(and hoping it wasn’t just another remake). Just because some of us didn’t like the last Jedi doesn’t mean we want the same crap over and over.
Maybe Disney can get involved and make a new Star Wars/Jurassic World Cinematic Universe with a Darth Maulasaurus that teams up with a colony of Jar Jar Binkcerotops and attacks Tattooine
Dickhead Records And they make a genetically modified space station capable of killing planets.
Stunning and brave. Bravo! I hope those script writers are taking notes. Let's hope Owen Thunderguns gets a leading part, I heard Disney finally plans on tackling the lack of representation of the one legged Irish drag queens...
Spectral Images very cool
I would advise against that.
I think you mean "generically modified"
A DOLLY SHOT?!? This is like new chairs times 1000!
i love how in the first movie it explains how those ball cars can take a 50 cal bullet but yet in this movie he shoots it UNDER WATER with a smaller gun and prys it off with a knife to save them
He got engulfed by a pyroclastic flow(400km/h up to 800°C) and got out fine, his clothes too.
The ball bullet thing is retarded, but not the dumbest thing there by *FAR*
'This movie is supremely dumb' should be the tagline
I thought the part where Buffalo Bill cuts off a t-rex's face and wears it as a mask was a little bit bizarre. Especially when he starts having sex with a big fat scientist.
Wait, the theater sent me a text...
...REPLIGATOR!?
Put the cloning lotion in the basket.
Best cover of Goodbye Horses sung with a kazoo ever! I didn't even know you could do that with sphincter muscles.
Jurassic World: Fallen Underwear
"speaking of rat feces, do you wanna talk about jurassic world fallen kingdom?'
amazing
aka Jurassic World: Fallen Franchise
Apparently we've reached the Dino Crisis arc, next should be the Carnosaur arc... just wait 'til we reach the Theodore Rex arc.
When Mike entered the VCR repair shop it felt like watching Mr Rogers
JOSHUA LARA
That Mr Rogers documentary is a must see
B M
The people running Homeland security are the nut jobs...that said, what does your comment have to do with what we were talking about?
When that little girl pushed that button and said that ridiculous line, I literally had an involuntary PTSD flashback to Rose Tico dooming the Rebellion and saying the "saving what we love" line
Rose had a last name?
who's rose Tico? She doesn't sound like she sells a lot of toys.
wut ? Toys r us closed because they could not sell an army of rose tico.
...what? You must have walked out of the theater too soon. The rebellion made it out, you waffle goblin. You stool. You walnut. Rey literally saved them with the force.
Josh Brown I’m so glad that the last time I saw a Star Wars movie it was 1983.
I cant really for the life of me think of a good military application for dinosaurs. There's the shock factor I suppose, but it's not like we're currently putting grizzly bears in flak armor and air dropping them all over the place. I guess you could destabilize a region with some rexes or raptors or a fuck load of compies or some shit, but then you have a destabilized war torn region *full of dinosaurs*. Its so many extra steps. You dont need dinosaurs to commit war crimes. I'm so confused. That one short fella said there were some pharmaceutical buyers at the sale so maybe pachy bile can cure E.D. or Rex spugum's good for your teeth, I don't know, this movie was dumb.
No, that human cloning thing was great! It means we're going to get that bad first draft of Jurassic World where they start cross splicing people and dinos! It's going to be a hoot.
Josué Taváres Indominatus Sapien.
Wasn't that a tv show? Dinotroopers or something dumb? I know the villain was a raptor.
@@kyburn6195 _Extreme Dinosaurs_ edit: (sort of...)
They were actually going to make a Jurassic Park movie that was about Dino human hybrids, but they scrapped it
It's illegal to clone humans
Never skipped to the middle of a video so fast
lmao same
fuck off
I wonder how Mike will find a way to compare the movie to star trek this time
Yeah he mentioned Zefram Chochrane inventor, and even showed a short clip of him
Inventor of the warp drive*
Mike uuhhhh... finds a way
Probably through tribbles.
But it's also more like the episodes Emergence, or Evolution, or Quality of life, where they create some form of life that then turns out to have self awareness, so they find themselves faced with the prime directive.
The majority of monster owners are actually decent, law-abiding citizens
The thing that really got me is that there's a town like 5 miles away from the mansion. They're gonna have a rough night because of some dumb 4 year old
Watch it before it gets deleted for hackfraudery!
Wow they deleted that one? Why?
They already made the joke so I was glad it got pulled.
Yeah I thought the Canadians would be in this video
Dammit... I was gonna say that!
420 likes. that’s what’s up
RLM's comment sections are a blessing. I clap everytime I see a comment that subverted my expectations.
There's a starman waiting in the sky IT BROKE NEW *G R O U N D*
darth plagueis So they're all garbage!
Very cool
You must be full of clap by now! **snorts**
ACCLAIMED AND GENERALLY LIKED MOVIE WAS OVERRATED!
The joke with B.D. Wong's character:
Dr. Henry Wu died in the original book. Intestines ripped out and eaten by raptor while he was still alive.
I was not prepared for how horrific that book was.
@@niallreid7664 it was quite fucked.
22:30 Mike’s assessment of what “happens in movies” (stock writing) regarding Owen Thunderguns getting chewed out at a greasy spoon diner is almost exactly how Dave Bautista’s story in Army of the Dead starts.
Wow, who would've thought that the best Resident Evil movie would end up being Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.
I think you mean best Dino Crisis adaptation, but everyone's forgotten about that series, even Capcom.
How fucking sad is it that a Jurassic Park movie has adapted RE1 to film better than like 6 Resident Evil films. What is this world.
Oh, Hollywood . . . Wait. Zombie dinosaurs. Great. That's going to happen now. Probably in the next film.
A real review. Thank god. I love you frauds even when you trick me with 25 minutes of Jurassic Park music.
DreamcastGuy there were small video bits in between 😏
Don't tell me that. I'm gullible enough to go back and watch it all again and then hate you forever for tricking me.
You had to be TRICKED into 25 minutes of Jurassic Park music??
Thats a good point. John Williams is genius.
Greg Nelson I mean.. after the 21st minute mark it starts to repeat itself a bit and sound a little too same-y. 7/10. TRAN. SITION.
By the next trilogy, the dinosaurs have extinguished the human race; But a group of mad dinosaurs de-extinguish them to open up a human-themed amusement park.
33:09 RLM doesn't get enough credit for its absurdist horror bits. This is actually kind of creepy - till you remember its Rich Evans and there are Canadians in the foreground.
It puts the lotion in the half bag
It rubs the lotion on its skin, it does this whenever it's told lol.
"Illegal Monster Auction" - damn that's a good band name
Also "Androgynous Rex"
Roland from the lost world wasn't THAT bad. He actually had an ideal that he believed in. He was a hunter and lived for the thrill of hunting predators. He even said that ingen could keep his fee for exchange of hunting the Male t rex. He has a brief exchange with Vince Vaughn about half way through the movie and he relates himself to the man who climbed Everest without any oxygen. By the end of the his role in the movie, he lost his friend and was extremely upset and had a realization and called ingen the company of death. That's proper character writing. These clowns are just cartoonishly bad that its unbelievable.
Yet he only brought two shotgun shells with him lmao
He was in for the Dino-Action
Why didn't she just open the big door , and leave the cages locked? That would have solved the problem.
Because sequel finds a way
"We'll get into the little girl"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Really diggin the new set
Yeah I love the toilet bowl cleaner really brings the room together
In the novel, John Hammond absolutely is the villain. He's not idealistic, just greedy. He cared about nobody's lives, not even his grandchildren.
And, Dr. Wu is the scientist who actually created the dinosaurs. I always thought it a bit odd that he plays such a small role in the first film.
Well he did die in the book on the roof, but that scene was skipped entirely in the movie. Actually, almost all personnel just kind of disappeared except the few we see.
Did anyone feel that the t-rex to the rescue trope was overused and almost comical in this one..
It’s cringe
It's annoying
T-Rex Machina
Yes T-rex is now Jurassic Chewbacca.
Or maybe Darth Tyrannus turned back to Count Tyroarus?
bro this whole movie was overused tropes im tired of
The Football Team should have showed up at the end and beat all the dinosaurs.
You foiled us once again football team!
the football team should be the anser to all the worlds woes
The German team is free now, and I’m sure that they’d be able to defeat the dinos.
I came in expecting 30 minutes of the jurassic park theme, was disappointed.
Randy Gerkov that would had been so awesome
Just 1 bar of the theme for the hardcore
"We'll get into the little girl..."
-Mike and Jay, 2018
Slim Pickins PHRASING!
'Wow that part with the motorcycles looks really cool."
Ooh wait, that's Children of Men.
I now want more 2007-era reviews in Mike's laundry room.
Nothing about the weird, shoe-horned in emotional scene with a brachiosaurus getting engulfed in hellfire? People were audibly bawling in the theater.
Nicholas Swanson literally one of the best scenes of the year
I'm sure someone sent this to William Shatner at some point as proof of how professional and good RLM is and how he should definitely be on their podcast
I hated all of the main characters. I was really hoping the bad guy would just shoot them or let a dinosaur eat them to relieve the audience's misery.
Glad you guys finally reviewed the Flintstones Prequel.
@@westerling8436 Joke? Might actually be the plot of the next movie!
Should have done the review by screen capturing Notepad with Linkin Park playing in the background.
Or one of the like 5 royalty free songs youtube had available
*I T R I E D S O H A R D A N D G O T S O F A R*
CRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING IN MYYYYYY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
should have also used dictation software for the voice over
oh.....and it needs to be in portrait mode
First 2 minutes of this video gave me anxiety
How's the last 12 months been for you?
This movie is not terrible in a fun way.
There’s only one reason to go watch this: if you have a 5-year-old that loves dinosaurs. The you’re probably going to see this work of art many many times...
When I saw the people hiding from the Indoraptor in the elevator, I fully expected the creature to just punch the code to open it. Frankly, at that point it would have fit the movie perfectly. I'm actually a bit let down that it didn't happen. It was all so ridiculous at that point that I just thought the damn dinosaur was going to pick up a rifle and start shooting people down.
This comment is hysterically accurate.
Can't wait for Jurassic World 3: Raptor Commando Kill Squad.
Oooh! That would be so badass, or at least something different. Dinosaurs so intelligent they become mercenaries, like the A- Team, but with big guns.
Yeah, the indoraptor was a total nothing. Should have just gone all in and made it as smart as a human. That could have been genuinely creepy.
A dinosaur picking up a rifle? Ridiculous, it is not an ape!
You know your film is weird when Jay Bauman, fan of ultraviolent sex pervert horror, says it's weird
The rack of toilet cleaners really makes that opening video.
“Put those things back where they came from, or so help me” - Goldblum
CZcams allows over ten minutes of Mike Stoklasa mumbling about Star Trek, intermittently chewing Next Generation game pieces like Orbitz, but GOD FORBID two Canadians try to run a legitimate VCR repair business
lol
It's run by their respective province...
Hey remember in Revenge of Sith when Anakin and Obi Wan have their big lightsaber fight and George Lucas thought to spice it up by exploding a volcano and spew lava all over the place.?
Question is: did they use frog DNA to complete the genetic code to clone not-Hammond's daughter?
Bryce Dallas Howard's character was cloned using frog DNA.
Yes. In the next movie, she will have the super powers of having the relative strength of a frog, and a super super long tongue.
Yes, she'll turn into a boy next movie.
Ohhhhh a transvestite frog! Yeah I remember that from the first film.
a transvestite frog
Justin Trudeau ?
The opening seemed to me like Mike and Jay were kidnapped and forced to do bad reviews. I liked it.
I agree the movie is baffling schlock but Cromwell’s line about Hammond wanting dinosaurs to be free to roam as they please is actually a reference to the final scene from The Lost World: Jurassic Park where we see Dino beauty shots cut against Hammond giving a CNN interview saying the same thing.
I love seeing my boys bounce back after the takedown of the original vid. I approve of this hackfraudery.
Modern movies have made it possible for RLM to merge Best of the Worst with Half in the Bag
Can't believe they didn't mention the scene where Blue the raptor can apparently read English. There's the gas leak that's about to explode, and he looks at the sign that says 'flammable' and knows immediately to start running away.
mike42192 I just saw it for the second time last night and blue sniffs the gas then runs away.
I got annoyed by it in the theater because I thought the same thing
She*
And yes. That was dumb af.
mike42192 Clever girl…
She didn’t read it, she sniffed the gas
Woah! Is that emmy award winning vfx artist Rich Evans in the post credits scene? Incredible!
haha the opening sequence was brilliant. That segment depicted nearly every youtube channel that reviews movies, music or games these days.
*channel awesome presents 2 hack frauds talk movies*
Honestly I feel it was just mocking beginer vlogers who aren't used to talking on a camera, kind of cool coming from people who very clearly are the opposite...
...or your take works too...idk its open to interpretation! :/
They also kinda look like they're gonna react to something, and incessantly pause at multiple points throughout the video
The only thing it was missing was a rating.
Well true, everyone has to start somewhere but there are plenty of channels out there who has existed for yrs that do nothing more than put up a camera and talks into it for 30 minutes. It is soooo boring. Angry Joe comes to mind, who started of reviewing games which he does really good but his movie talks videos is effing booooring. It's him an his two friend talking into a camera for way too long.
The diabetes is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!
cloning kids. auctioning off super-science monsters. lab in the house. This is a Venture Brothers episode.
I disagree with the idea that Ted Levine's and Pete Postlethwaite's characters are at all equivalent to each other. Ted Levine is literally just a cartoonish villain-type character in this movie, but at least Pete Postlethwaite's character had enough depth that he mourned the deaths of his men even though their mission was successful.
And I hated The Lost World, so good luck seeing me ever standing up to defend it again.
Roland mourned Ajay 'cuz Ajay was his lover. Fact.
It honestly feels like they rewrote Levine's character during the shooting. Note how his first few scenes seem to lay ground for his conflict with Zia to be resolved presumably by learning to appreciate each other's respective skills as part of the team. It is only at the Blue scene where Wheatley suddenly makes a definite U-turn into a card-carrying villain.
Quick, we have to watch this before it gets taken down!
salty viewers :D
Who took what down?
Not sure, only that when I came back to see the video it was copyright-deleted :(
Winstown Smith rlm posted a jurassic world review spoof and it got deleted for some reason after a day or two
James Smith “fans”
“I want freakin Raptors with Sharks Freakin Laser Beams attached to their heads!!!>;•O”-Dr. Evil
I think I saw him in the auction scene.
I really hope that's the third installment.
I said that during the new Antman when they had the ants building stuff... 😆
"You see, what we did is we trained these raptors to attack anything the lasers shine on. So we implanted a chip in the brain of THIS ONE raptor and fitted him out with 10 separate lasers so he could lead a full 10-raptor squad on his own at the push of a button!"
Apparently predatory animals uncontrollably kill and eat things all the time.
This is truly one of the dumbest films I have ever seen. I was suppressing laughter throughout the whole film and was shocked to see the audience around me wasn't laughing. Some of the most mindblowingly funny parts for me were:
the opening scene with the water dinosaur chomping the guy off the ladder
pointedly cutting to Clare's boots to prove they're not sexist, guys
the very image of a dinosaur running around a mansion is comedy gold btw
the fact that the Indoraptor straight out winks when playing dead
the elevator death scene
the Indorapter suddenly being on the roof?? Where and when??
the Indoraptor turning into Freddy Kreuger for a moment reaching its claw over Maisie's bed
absolutely everything about obtaining T-Rex blood
the horribly obvious exposition in the reveal of the genetically modified girl
the over-the-top, curly-mustached bidders that looked like cartoon supervillains
the fact that the Pachycephalosaurus somehow knows how to get an elevator to the correct floor??
"I had to let them go because they're alive... like me"
forgetting that Franklin was a character in the film at all, and then him popping up in an incredibly stupid climactic scene
the slapstick-y way they were avoiding the Indoraptor by circling around the Triceratops bones display just out of sight... like the world's greatest ever predator would fall for that schtick
the rooftop Indoraptor vs Blue fight scene ending with the impaling scene
the very concept that genetically engineered dinsoaurs are being used for military purposes when we have, y'know, tanks
watching the trucks with dinos being shipped out of the auction and thinking... where will people be hosting them? In massive cages they've already built? Big garages? Racquetball courts?
the concept dinosaurs will roam free in America and live among us rather than them either being secured as a threat or gunned down by hobbyist hunters
making the final line of the film "...Jurassic World"
It became so schlocky at the end that I hoped the dinosaurs would just eat everyone in a lot of horrible horror set pieces a la Wish Upon. My biggest problem with the film was that they tried and failed to give it emotional stakes... miss me with that Brontosaurus death scene. They embraced the stupidity halfway through the film and I wish they had from the beginning.
What puzzled me the most about the end is that there were only a handful of dinosaurs left that escaped, yet they act like dinosaurs have suddenly taken over the world. Does the world just idly stand by while like 20 dinosaurs run amok? I can picture the sequel being in a post apocalyptic world kinda like those terrible Resident Evil movies, and evil corporate bad guy is trying to build a massive park to keep the dinosaurs in, except it all goes wrong and humanity learns not to tamper with DNA, until the next time a movie needs to happen. Again.
rkgk1517 and why did Claire put the John Deer hat on?
And twice you see humans as strong dinosaurs. The black kid hold on to the metal chair when the t rex has it in his mouth. And two guys are pulling down a brontasaurs with ropes tied its neck
I laughed so hard because blue ends up in Fresno or Merced which is totally different than the NorCal Forrest they were in
.
I would highly disagree. Also, the Mosasaurus is not a dinosaur.