Karch Kiraly | Overly Involved Parents
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
- Legendary volleyball player and coach for USA Volleyball's Women's Team, Karch Kiraly gives examples of overly involved parents in sports. "These parents often steal the fun from their children because they are too involved."
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I’m guilty of being the crazy parent yelling during the game. Cheering for the great plays regardless of teams. But when my daughter didn’t play 3 balls, I did yell. After watching a legend explain it, I will do better because I want my child to have the best experience possible.
Cheer for every good Play! Love it! I always do it and always will.
Well said Karch. My daughter played 7 years of club vb. I personally went through 3 phases during that period; from the calm, positive parent, to the often times vocal and taking the fun out of it parent, then back to the calm, keep my distance, let's have fun parent. In my opinion, even worse than changing sides and feeling the need to have their daughters hear their voices, are the parents that yell at both the up refs and the girls of the teams assigned to keep score and ref the lines. Those parents are brutal. The SCVA is way too lenient when it comes to obnoxious parents at ASC and other venues. The only thing I will also add is, even if you don't switch sides between sets, the parents coming over will give you dirty looks and complain that there's no place to sit if a parent chooses to stay. In the later years I just sat as far away as I could from the other parents. As far as Karch's experience with regards to his dad yelling on the sidelines (if that was the case), that is even more reason why Karch has taken this more positive approach to vb. He would admit that some of his actions as a player (shattering a second place trophy in public, ripping down a beach net and sending the up ref sailing, was not his finest hour as a legend in the sport.
We saw this phenomenon grow... When my first two daughters finished high school and club volleyball in '00 and 02' we stayed put the entire match. My third daughter finished in '06 and I saw exactly as you described. The side switching was bizarre and I only did it when the parents from the opposing team seated by me yelled such ugly, unsportmanlike things I switched sides to get away from them.
and the guilty parents defend themselves without considering the impact of their actions on their kids.
Some kids are ok with that, some are not. My daughter played and I told her not to look my way because I wasn’t her coach. And she never did. However, I saw many kids look to parents after each play. I believe in letting them play and look to their coach for guidance. I never wanted her to dislike the game because of me.
Come on Karch your dad was a huge crazy fan and paced the sidelines during many of your historic matches screaming at the top of his lungs at you!.....You seemed to perform quite well
But Karch is not a human being, more of a deity.
i bet karch hated it.
Amazing.
Who sits next to Karch and associates him as the "enemy"? LOL You sitting next to the Hov?
I've seen parents even walking up to the refs (mostly kids themselves, learning refing and the procedures) and trying to influence decisions and being very aggressive when called out for it by the coaches. Truly awful. I miss the humbleness towards the effort and time that players, coaches and refs put in the sport by some parents.
Initially, I thought that switching sides was odd. However, I came to realize that parents simply wanted to watch their children play volleyball. Families pay thousands of dollars and large sums on travel expenses. They want to see their children play and film them for highlight reels. It is that simple.
If you have to be at your child's side every moment of their life they will never learn how to be an adult. Stop coddling them. Karch's point is simple and bang on. If money is an issue, take your kid out of club and take them to disneyland. Sports and family have to have balance.
I would love to know Karch's thoughts on players looking to their parents instead of the coach during or after a game for their thoughts or approval?
Dan Smith That is something you need to stop as a coach. The player should NEVER look to the parents.
My dad was my coach, and he specifically made me work with the assistants for this very reason. I went to him once or twice to try to undermine the assistants, and was kicked out of practice immediately. Never did that again. Hell, I complained to my dad once because one of the assistants was yelling and swearing at me, and he made me sit out the first three innings of the next game and apologize to the coach. One time the same assistant told me to cover behind the pitcher when the catcher threw the ball back, and I didn't do it once. I played shortstop. Mr. Keely, (the assistant coach) came into the game and sent me into right field and put the right fielder at SS. We lost the game on an error by the SS. After the game I figured they'd all apologize to me. My dad gave the team a speech and said if I had just covered behind the pitcher, Mr. Keely wouldn't have been forced to swap me into right field, forcing an outfielder to play SS. I resented the shit out of my dad at the time. But I appreciate that now, and I never made any of those mistakes again.
My young daughters are currently playing their first season in club volleyball (they are only ten). After some plays, they want to look at me either for approval or just to see my reaction, but as a former coach I told them to stop looking at me and just focus on the ball, their teammates, and their coach. They can hear plenty of advice and encouragement from me after the match when we get ice cream!
I've always stayed where I am at, and root for the awesome plays and not the team itself.
Remember, let's be careful out there.
I'm one of those parents who switches sides after every game. My reason is that I travel long distances to WATCH my daughter play, and to film the matches. I get my best action shots and video when my (camera's) view is not obstructed by the net, nor the taller players found on the front row (my daughter is a libero/ds). My reasons are more of a visual, and not vocal, point of view (pun intended).....
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