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What to do when you hate your job or your coworkers or your boss so much but you can't do anything
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- čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
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In this professional communication training video "What to do when you hate your job or your coworkers or your boss so much, but you can't do anything about it," you'll learn how to formulate "coping statements" properly, thus increasing the odds you will be able to control yourself and not freak out at work, because when you use coping statements correctly, you're using the proper syntax so the brain can process the information effectively.
Remember the two parts to a coping statement are:
1) They are in the present, and
2) They are positively phrased.
#copingskills #copingstrategies #communicationskills #difficultpeople
Please subscribe to Dan's CZcams channel for all his free online communication training: goo.gl/VJdWKi
Make sure to check out Dan's website www.danoconnor... for your free book and/or tutorial, and examine the many training programs you'll find there as part of his VIP pack. There you will find courses on:
-Getting unstuck and moving ahead in your career
-How to gain the respect and acknowledgement you know you deserve
-Communication skills for the telephone
-How to deal with difficult people at work--notably bullies, gossips, and people who make inappropriate comments
-How to be seen as the competent professional you know yourself to be
-How to approach your job with confidence and earn the respect of coworkers
-Job interview skills
-How to deliver bad news to a customer
-Communication Skills for Leaders
And many many more
www.danoconnor...
For help communicating better at work or at home or for tips for communicating with the opposite sex, dealing with horrible bosses, and more, go to danoconnortrai... For Dan's entire Step Out of the Shadows and Speak! Communication Skills Training Program.
Dan can be reached at dan@danoconnortraining.com. You can learn more about him and his training on his website, www.DanOConnorTraining.com, or you can call him at 877-570-1573 701-205-4141 if calling from outside the US.
I am grateful for my job, I just dislike my supervisors, and the place physically doesn't feel good. I already know I'm going to leave the place but not the professions; this video helps a lot
Thanks much for your kind words Summerbeeuty; I am happy to have helped!
Dan
I"m a woman and hate to work with other women. I'm quiet at work, I like to stay busy, work and go home. My trouble making co workers refuse to let me be, they will FIND reasons to call, email, or message me. They will find something that happened 3 months ago and question me on it, btw, I trained these women. They don't like me, fine, but you know why I cant tell them to leave me the hell alone? Because one is sleeping with our married boss, who's side is he going to take? They refuse to leave me alone and let me do my job, I cant quit, long story, but I HATE it there, I work 10 hours a day M-F, thats a long time in life to be so unhappy. I can deal with almost anything, except this. I have never in my life had an issue with a male co worker, only women.
Why am I not suprised? An office full of women is a total disaster as women mostly operate with more emotion interplay, while men get on with jobs pragmatically. Best of luck; sure you have total Hell...
SKYwalker 777 this isnt true. men just bully differently but are far from more “pragmatic.” My male boss is a screaming psychopath with mood swings that rival a mental patient.
Hi, how did you resolve the situation? Or what action did you take? I’m in a similar situation.
You said it. Its the chicks. And are you still working there now, has that situation changed?
Danmed it is the same with me
I hang on your every word. Where have you been all my life! Your teachings and videos have allowed me to develop effective coping mechanisms. I am grateful.
I think I'm just going to quit my job.
Sometimes that is the best option--distance. I wish you well You!
Dan
Lucky
Just thinking about this person makes my blood boil.
I'm lucky that I have a job I love. Of course there are still rough days, or difficult coworkers, bosses, or customers, but for me it helps to remind myself that I love what I do.
I just started doing this. I started thinking, "I don't care, I don't care." So, I should be saying, "I am free from caring." 😊 thank you
It works. I tried it. In fact, when I said it to myself, the tears dried up immediately. Thank you so very much.
You are welcome Michelle! And please continue to like and share.
Dan
Hi Dan, when someone says something bad to me, I just look at them smile and then pretend to flick dandruff from my shoulder, no words needed. Try it, I bet you laugh xx
Great idea! I need to practice that
Sooo you have dandruff is all that says to others. Gotta be tougher than that.
Had this problem. Retirement solved it. The residual resentment still lingers. Wish I could have handled it differently.
Dan, thank you so much for your time and information. I've put in my two weeks notice to my current employer. They suck so bad. I'm out on Thanksgiving day. Driving 150 miles South-back to home town. Oh yesssss.
Charlotte, way to go! And please keep an eye out for my upcoming course on leaving your job and finding a new one--that you'll like :)
I wish you had a scholarship option for low income folks like me. Just cried Friday. Want to leave but can't.
I am calm, cool and collected...I am calm cool and collected...I am calm cool and collected...
Thank you Dan. You are a god sent.
You're welcome, ILu :)
I really want to find a new job where I'm apprecuated, valued, and paid what I'm worth.For the time being I have decided to stick my abusive absurd situation at work, until I can figure out what direction to take.Thank you so much for your amazing advice.I wish I could bring you to work with me!You would absolutely die to witness what b.s.I'm expected to deal with.😥😂😛😊
Omg ! I'm beyond help when you said "okay I'm not going to cry" what's another coping statement....I said 'I'm not going to punch him in the face' lord take the wheel😧
I say to myself “moving forwards” and I “statement” a new focus
Hello Dan! I wasn't sure which video to send you this message on. I think you're wonderful - your morning dose of positivity :) I work for a company that is very loose in how it operates/sets standards etc (professional communication as to performance and official documentations do not happen by this company). I've been here going on 21 years - started as a filer and now manage multiple departments (I do all the work after they downsized/didn't rehire after people quit). I am not exaggerating when I say I am very good at what I do, enjoy challenges and learning new things - and that is the only reason why I've not lost my mind or quit - as others have. I don't hate the company or the people but I do hate how its run - which I cannot change. I am a "fixer" and am quite overworked and have been since day 1 (without adequate pay). I was able to negotiate (or was offered) a raise/higher commission not too long ago when I'd finally had enough and told them to take a certain department back, commission included as the people I have to work with are like children and waste my time (9xout of 10) no joke - as they are unable to organize themselves and use the tools/system. I am now "tired" and am done being nice (well maybe lol) and helping management without question. I now want to be PAID for any additional work - and want concrete guidelines as to what I'm responsible for and what others are as at this point in my life I know i'm being taken advantage of and its hurting me mentally and physically. I literally know almost everyone's job/can answer anything and so I am leaned on WAY too much. The few times in past years where I've pushed back such as "please contact xyz for help as that is managed by them" has been met with intense attitudes as if i'm being unhelpful when in reality they are being inconsiderate of me and my substantial responsibilities. I now want to start focusing on ME and my bottom line which is: low stress (which does not equate less work but rather not allowing others to manipulate me) and income. I was wondering if you had any advice (or could make a video) on how to navigate such environments. Yes I could quit but at the moment i'd like instead to take control and maximize my current position - until I am ready to move on (once my plans to purchase another home/build my tiny real estate/passive income/minimalist life empire pans out in the next year and when my dog dies (I work in the back of a warehouse and am allowed to bring him to work...he has *extreme* separation anxiety and I truly have tried many things to leave him home (or doggy day care) when I was interviewing for other jobs)...i'd like to rise above the problems of my work environment and take assertive control of my role and what is expected of me - and my rights vrs whatever they throw at me. I do not have a lot of experience with this as I've only had 2 jobs in my life, this being the main one which I started when I was 19...Thank you kind sir!!
Love your Communication Training videos, Dan! I am a longtime subscriber & use your tips daily. :)
Absolutely great to hear, and I thank you for taking the time to comment 97.
Dan
Was hoping for ways to deal with constant contempt. It's making me sick... slowly realizing I have to leave and there is no way to deal effectively with abuse since studies show it literally makes you sick.
What a great advise Dan! you are a genius! :) This applies to any emotions including anxiety and anger!
Thank you. 🙂
This is a learning experience. This too shall pass.
I am impressed with this video. Its funny how I have used this way of think in one scenario to great sucess, but never thought it could use it in another. Thanks Dan!
Hey Tiger. Thanks for your comment. Please subscribe and check out other videos.
Dan
Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor Already have, been watching your videos for years now. Your an awsome coach and I love your videos on difficult people. You have really changed my life for the better, thank you Dan.
You are more than welcome Tiger; you've made my day!
Dan
Another great video. These videos are changing my communication and really are helping me. I’m learning so much. Thank you for your wisdom
Thanks, Heather! Stick around because there are many more videos to come!
Dan
I was weak and quit almost a month ago. I moved back to my parents house 3 months ago, they were inappropriate with me as a child and i noticed they were being suspect with my nieces. They gaslighted me until I blew up today and called 911 reported them as pedos like 2 hours ago. Just because homeless. This channel came in time because I know assertiveness and communication is my weakness and can fight from here now on or late because I’ve lost everything I didn’t have to begin with so ive always been here so I can start fighting instead of giving up
I admire what you are doing, Emms. You won't regret it and you'll be just fine. Many of us have to start over from time to time. New beginnings are not a bad thing. Unsettling at first, but generally a good thing.
It is NOT weak to quit a job you hate. It’s actually smart.
Practice the art of not giving a f***! Works for me.
Then what are you doing researching the topic--if you don't give a fuck?
@@TheWizardOfWords just because I don’t give a f*** doesn’t erase my curiosity.
Sure it does. You research things about which you care. If you didn't give a fuck, you wouldn't be researching the topic in the first place. Of aaallllll the things in the world to research, you chose this one topic. :()
Yes!
This makes sense. It's like the law of attraction, call into being what you DO want, not what you don't.
I tend to attract awful bosses frequently, especially of the micromanaging and gaslighting variety. This results in my seeking out new employment often, which also unfortunately results in a rather jumpy CV. (Good news is I'm employable!). The misguided assumption from hiring managers tends to be the candidate is the problem (cue Taylor Swift "Hi, it's me, I'm the problem, it's me"😂) non loyal, or a flight risk, instead of recognising the blame oftentimes lays at the employers door for poor leadership and management resulting in an unhappy workforce.
I'd love if you could do a video on how to answer interview questions about why the short stints. I feel like no one wants to hear the truth so what's the best scripted lie in this case? 🤔
No lies, ever.
@@TheWizardOfWords I'd agree though I've never found honesty to be appreciated or rewarded in these situations. Rather, always has the opposite effect and is viewed with cynicism and distrust! Not to mention it's drummed into us not to bad mouth former employers. Am I wrong, or have I now turned into the cynic?! 😳🥴
You don't lie about former employers if they are bad, you simply do not talk about them. There is no reason to do a number on former employers. There is a difference between lying and simply not addressing a topic. If you badmouth former employers, the supposition is that you will badmouth future ones too, since present action is the best indicator of future action.
@@TheWizardOfWords Agreed, I don't ever bad mouth, yet skirting around the issue also doesn't land supremely well, it's a minefield! I'm guessing if the short stints were truly an issue I'd not have been called for interview in the 1st place, but as I'm there and having to explain them, feels like hiring team are finding/focussing on faults/perceived negatives unnecessarily. Perhaps there is no right answer for the wrong employer. 💡 Thank you. 🙏
Skirting around the issue? You mean they are asking you direct questions? They know you didn't get along with your boss and they want you to talk about it? Then I would say that any issues you had have been resolved, and you're looking for the challenges this new job will present. Then list your accomplishments (not your skills) and call it a day. You don't have to walk through a minefield. If you are a savvy communicator, you will NOT let them drag you into negatives.
I dislike a “ Lead “ at my workplace. I never ever talk with this person at work, I stay away as much as I can. Every time I see them, I’m yelling “ fkkkk “ in my mind
Thank you Dan!!!!!!!!!!!
You're welcome oded2 and thanks for taking a moment to say Hello.
Dan
You are brilliant!
You are hott 🔥
I am calm and I like my job, boss and coworkers but what do I do about a coworker who has a problem and pours perfume on her problem and buzzes like a mosquito all day long every day? So not only am I dying from the smell I am also going nuts with the constant buzzing. Oh and if I say something I could lose my job. Oh and she really struggles to do her job reasonably okay!
I AM FENRIR! WOOF! 😈 And now you're gone. 💨.
This is called neurolinguistic programming Anthony Robbins is king in this
Shit this came at the perfect time.
I can't stand my job, and most of my co-workers, and the feeling is mutual. The only pleasure I get out of work is pissing them off. They like to steal things I need to do my job. So I put a lock on them so they can't take them, end of problem. Pissed them off. I know the thief was orchestrated by management, cause they hate me. But they said nothing, cause that would embarrass them. A little victory for me
Yes and you did it without saying one mean or aggressive word. Good for you, Larry. Little victories are important.
Still having issues, I got the confirmation email, but nothing else happened.
Double-checked; you're right, unfortunately. I am fixing it now. Once again, please come back and try later. I DO SO APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND TO SEVERAL HUNDRED OTHER PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER SEE THIS APOLOGY. :(
Dan
It's ok, don't stress about it, I am not going any where :)
OK JJ, is it working now? My test shows it is, and it's working for others, but I need to be sure from you.
yes thank you :)
Hmm what I say in my brain kinda laugh and say f off.
But you keep the f off to yourself, right?
I was fortunate. I retired one year early. I hated it......then I LOVED it. Moved overseas and found freedom in a fascist country. Life is strange.
What country did you choose, Dave??
Quit
:D the audio editing tho Dan.. all those tiny inputs. It's playful and funny
By the way.. is the title correct? "What to you when.."
Ahaaaaaa! That was a test and you passed with FLYING COLORS! Thanks, Psychokore; after you passed the test, I fixed the title. KEEP AN EYE ON ME; I'M SLIPPING@@
Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor ah you welcome 😊
" this guy is a phyco" is what I think. When someone talks like a child.
I love it! A new word--phyco. That must be a physical psycho, right? That would be my brother Marty. He's also a huge car buff.
I like the comment at the start of a three day weekend at time clock
DID YOU GET FIRED 🤔
:)
Hey Everybody! Make sure to download your free kit to help you do this here: goo.gl/ui6rx2
Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor I tried to download but never received an email.
OMIGOD, THANKS JJ. I am working to fix this RIGHT NOW, so come back in a few hours and try again, OK?
Dan
Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor sure will, thank you. :)
I confirmed but got nothing else or any links. Still having an issue here lol
All.work makes me hateful and miserable. What can I do?
Hope you live to retirement?? Never have a family??? (They're a lot of work.) Sit and vegetate and hope your mother will take care of you?? Those are the first thoughts that come to mind.
@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks, but Im unlikely to ever be able to retire; I already have a broken family (divorced); far too old to live with parents. I dont have any solutions I can think of.
Seriously dislike one x seriously