You Need to Know This if You Want Your Kids To Be Somebody.
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- čas přidán 27. 05. 2024
- From Jocko Underground 68.
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Your kids wont turn out exactly who you want them to be.
Is a lack of emotion bad?
A confrontation with a crazy ex-con with weapons.
Having a hard time saying "no" to team members. Enabling.
"Thank you for your service".
Finding a new mission that lives up to the last one.
Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles
My 7 year old boy drives tractors by himself with manual transmissions , shoota bow, shoots guns, hunts , has his own hunting channel on youtube, takes car of his steer, does garden work, pulls weeds in grandpas field , picks rocks in the field, and he is happy as can be amd is an incredible kid. Dont treat your kids like babies , they can do way more than you give them credit for.
It is damn good to hear that.
Nowadays people want boys to play with dolls and dress up as women. Great Job raising that young man.
@@overwhelmingconundrum4327 Yes, that is definitely a real thing that “they” want - it’s a conspiracy!
As a teacher I'd just like to say you're awesome and your kid sounds great! More kids need to get dirty and rugged. It is how they will get strong. If it hasn't been in the hand, it won't be in the heart and it won't be in the brain.
@@overwhelmingconundrum4327you are talking shit - get your head out of your arse! Most people want what Jocko says - to be themselves and that should also apply to kids! Your fears are not reality! Trying meditation or therapy for your issues?
You are an amazing father! 💪🏻
My boys started early. They hated it. The reward came in college when roommates didn’t know how to care for themselves. I got the call thanking me for teaching them so young.
I thought I was a total slob growing up...until I was roommates with a total slob. My dad still laughs about when I'd call him up to complain. 😆
I got the same call only to watch him turn into the same kind of worthless slob.
Kids will never do what you tell them to do until they see you (1) do it yourself first and (2) be excited to do it. Don't just tell your kids to stuff-live in such a way that they're excited to do it because they saw you being excited to do it, too. From taking out the trash to cleaning their room.
Thanks for reminding us all what its like to be a kid. I'd wash my hotwheels cars all day but my mums car was a chore. Could have made that fun
It seems like you either don’t have kids or were listening to the world about raising kids.
His point is they that they are individuals. You completely missed the point.
rearing children is like holding a wet bar of soap - too firm a grasp and it shoots from your hand, too loose a grip and it slides away. A gentle but firm hold keeps you in control.
Damn that was good.
🔥 analogy
Try using two hands to surround the soap so it has nowhere to slip to and then you can crush it.
@@glenmacdonald3477 you will crush it to the point of no return, do not crush your child's soul
That's a great quote
Jocko understands kids more than anyone else in the media. He's made it so much easier for me to parent my kids and guide them through juijitsu. I see tiger moms everyday pushing their kids before they are ready to compete and they just quit.
Honey you’re to close to that car!
Wife: unloads every wrong thing you’ve ever done since 1995.
Lol, True
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Accurate.
“Jakey why don’t you have lunch today?”
“My dad told me I need to make it myself but I can’t reach the cabinets”
"Sounds like you need to learn to climb or build a stool kid" - Jocko
Bingo! Problem solving … and asking for help. 2 birds 1 stone
As a dad and ex Psychotherapist here you are absolutely bang on. As a therapist, if you want to help people change, heal, and grow, you need to meet them halfway by being yourself and absolutely do not tell them what to do or try to solve their problems for them. You help them find their own path. With a couple of caveats, it's the same with kids.
If my wife is tailgating, you're dang right I'm going to tell her to back off. I don't care how mad she gets. If she is putting people in danger, the time for being nice is over.
I wish I could see my 6 year old Son and 5 year old Daughter. I had to take their mother to court from keeping them away from me when we split up. It’s been 3 and a half years. All I want is to be a great Dad I miss them every second.
Sorry for your pain, hope things turn out in everyone's favor.
Woke is wareness of the situation or a "guided awarness" by the schooling/media system.
It's not nessesarly wrong but if the children are exposed to ciertin things from a sheltered stated it could be tramatizing to the point that they become dependent on the safety of the system. An absence of peranting also hinges them to peer safety...
I am totally in the same boat brother only I haven’t seen my kids for about three months now and I am about to do the court battle but the deal is is when I do get my kids sometimes I find myself overcompensating for time lost, and I have found that that is really not the way to go about teaching your kids like Jaco was just saying you don’t wanna push it or force it on them Yeah kind a wanna just acknowledge I guess but you also have to teach your kids that not every damn thing that you’re going to do in life is fun that’s the problem these days my kids they don’t want to do stuff because it’s just not fun to them. Their mother has babied them their whole lives. They are twin boys 11 years old And she has basically turned them against me to hate me cuss at me over the phone or just not even answer the phone at all. It’s terrible when you have to fight another adults to do something right for your kids. It should never have to be that way in three years brother that is, horrible but I’ll pray for you that something breaks and you get to see your kids again soon. No quit no surrender. The fight continues because it’s worth the fight.
Stay in the fight brother. Keep it real with them when you can and just love them. Do not talk any trash about their mom - it will pay off in the long run.
@@freethink9510that's insane. How old are they?
100% especially with children set the example. Many of our social cues are picked up at a very early age from interactions within the family. If you don't get good cues during that window, it becomes harder to change them later in life. Not impossible but much harder. Thanks.
Facts. Glad you pointed this out.
As someone who grew up in a turbulent household, I 100% agree. Still learning and unlearning things that should've been sorted out decades ago.
Need to do a Father series that would be cool.
Jocko should run for president. We need great leaders like him.
Put your kids in Boy Scouts. I’m an Eagle Scout now and the leadership skills and problem skills that I not only learned but earned, I will never forget as I apply them each and every day.
😊
I dunno about scouting now, but back in 80’s we did stuff (repelling, canoeing, hiking), that our leaders would be in jail😂for safety reasons, yes I am a Eagle ‘90, and a Firefighter now, you just get the good traits inbred in you. It makes u a well rounded person. Thanks Dad.❤
@@Rudy28330 I get it. I received mine in the early 90s and went on in scouts. There no limits in my troop/ship etc. The requirement of a DEI merit badge for eagle last year is disappointing. Most don't know what DEI or just thinks it sounds good, just like socialism sounds good but every nation that claims it ends with one party and millions dead.
I have been a life long advocate for the Scouting programs but I really don't know better program.
It’s not the same as it used to be.
@@matthewthornton3662depends on the unit
Jocko is a Real Man. Need more like this. Well Rounded. Thank you Jocko.
Is he a Christian?
Your a real English cigarette
"Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach." ~ Albert Einstein
If someone has my life in their hands like when they are driving and they are being dangerous im gonna tell them as directly as i can to stop.
I had never been in a car with my brother-in-law and he and his wife picked us up one night to go out for dinner , it was raining heavily and we were on a freeway and for some reason when we were driving under an overpass he hit the brakes well l absolutely hit the fucking roof.
From that moment onwards I seen him in a different light and were never friends.
If you're me, you can piss people off just by speaking or showing your face in certain rooms.
This topic....top ten books every man should read and why. Jocko Go
Jocko is a real man with great experience and then he gives it to us thank you jocko
Always tried to lead by a setting a good example with my children. Gave them goals at an early age all the way until they went to college. They knew we would have real conversations about anything they wanted as they grew up. I became wiser understanding to teach and guide, but not smothering them. Two great young adults now, always give them a chance to fail, but be ready to help them when they reach out, because they will!
💯 give your kids a job. Give them a purpose. Let them know that they contribute to the house and make that run smoothly and they are responsible for that. Hold them accountable and be a good teacher. Makes a strong adult. Love it! Good job Jocko.
Nice piece, been thinking yo much in how to influence my girlfriend into working out at least 20 min a day, and had to see this to realize that she seeing me excercise repeatedly, without asking her to do it was the only thing that push her to try to be my workout partner once, in the last few days, and I blew it up by telling her do this, now that, now that, all of the top of my head, which are exercises I do daily, and I'm more trained than here.... Could've been useful to give her ownership and let her start molding her routine, instead of imposing a variation of mine over her
She complied but didn't work out the next 2 days because she was a Little too sored
Thanks Jocko and Echo.
Sorry I've made some typos
Thinking too much*
I'm more trained than her*
Voicing that awareness to and apologizing would likely going a long way to help her feel seen, respected, and more likely to join you on her own accord next time around. Apologies are like magic.
Excellent commentary. Thanks, Jocko.
Just noticed. Can you see how even Jocko struggles with situations. If you're here trying to figure something out, you can only approach things one way and if it doesnt work, maybe you will be on a podcast telling others about the time it went wrong. Listen to this stuff, but dont beat yourselves up
I'm glad that I have enough sense to listen to people, consider their argument, and admit when they are right.
Excelent point, Jocko!
Set a good example is 😊the key as you have said. But, it requires trust again as you have said. And this may require keeping your mouth SHUT! THANKS JOCKO, YOU ARE MY MENTOR!
I messed up and smoked weed as a teen and now struggle with addiction with other substances, loosing my father was an eye opener. I kno my father has kept me alive with his lessons. I only suffer now from emotional intelligence and thoughts beginning a trajectory of negativity guilt, and rage. My cousins always say I wasn't brought up right but I never knew what that meant until I started recently having trouble with basic everyday social ques. I follow you because you help me alot but sometimes I just need to man up.
@@FinbarrOSleibhin thanks man, as long were alive and well.. I just want to try to be the best version of myself. I have improved alot but that weird dark cloud comes over me at the worst times. If you ever need a good book to help calm you "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Coleman is a really good book that talks about how your mind can easily be hi-jacked by a negative thoughts and talks about solutions. Cheers brother.
Hey brother, it's your choice to stop smoking weed or any other substance when you are ready and willing. When it was time for me I put weed down immediately after 10 years of smoking. You can do it too 🙂
There is a natural solution; it's called meditation. People underestimate the intelligence hidden within this human body.
@@kamalvipul9213 Meditation is something that works for some. I myself don't meditate because I'm a little vulnerable to random flashbacks, and thoughts, that sometimes hi-Jack my emotional trajectory... I myself now have a grip only because of I'm just Learning how to align my thoughts to my heart. And there's a big burst of happiness there for me.
@@riderhenry3746 Thank you. I'm 5days clean so far.. it's just a wave of emotions that take over me, I started finding little activities but one day at a time. Thank you again.
Jocko major problem that comes to mind with letting kid decide when they're ready to go to school. You have work yourself, you now get to work later thank scheduled, hit traffic, hit traffic getting home later, more hours of your day consumed. How do you deal with that?
Hey Jocko, thank You for teaching people about being well rounded. Praying that we would also take a good look at how we approach things. Keep killin it!
“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.”
Proverbs 12:1
There is so much inspiration in your show.❤
Great perspectives, Jocko and Charles!
Thank You.!!!!!! Tell these sociopaths the truth. Honesty Will Set You Freeeeeeeeeee...!!!!!!
I very much appreciate how Jocko “faded out” this clip with advice about how, you can’t be entitled; like OH iT dOEs’Nt MATtER 🌞 relating with human beings doesn’t matter therefore, I’ll be unworthy. ❤
Sometimes telling them they can’t isn’t good. I told my 6 year old grandson he can’t, then I let him try and he could. They will have enough self limiting beliefs on their i mad a change to be more supportive and helpful.
Coach (and parent) within the boundaries - left bounds, right bounds, YOU move the ball
Love the echo topics!
This has been one of the most powerful videos I’ve seen. Thank you. I’m trying to help my girlfriend get closer to God, and I can’t help but notice how rooted Jocko is. He is a follower of the principles set out by God, without even realizing it. Like Shawn Ryan, the things he has seen may deter him from thinking of God. I pray he can realize that Evil does not come from God. It comes from having free will. The way we must be. God wants us to want him.
Like the Bible and Jocko both say, leading by example is how to be a teacher and actually teach someone a value or lesson. I’ve been trying the “call you out on your bs method,” maybe it’s because I’m a marine, but it clearly does not work with my girlfriend. Just trying to decide what is worth putting up with, and what I may need to be concerned about for the future.
Indirect approch make sence but soooo hard. It's like constent meditation.
I have that toxic productivity shirt. Echo makes it look better than I do and I’m not mad about it.
The world waivers and wanes, the discipline, encouragement, correction and unconditional love is why I am HARD on my son. The boy is absolutely my greatest accomplishment in life. I have told this child three things every single day of his life. 1. I love you more than my life itself, 2. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, 3. I will never steer you wrong. He hated it when he was an adolescent but now he sees the reasoning behind my strict guidance. And yes he is in Brazilian Jujitsu because of JOCKO. He listens to the podcast and everything Jocko says I look at him and just smirk. He rolls his eyes and says "I know Dad, you tell me the same thing". Keep building these young men into being the best MEN they can be.
True
Helpful
Informative
Necessary
Kind
Every parent who is overbearing always backfires. You don't allow junk food, they will gorge themselves over their friends house and closet binge. Kids who grew up on Disney and age appropriate show will seek out scumbag shows.
Great topic. More parents need to see this before their kids are 1. We have 6 and all of them made their own lunch from the 1st day of school. 4 and 5 years old.
Jocko! Have you considered getting David Gogging on the podcast? You two being retired SEALS and living by so high self accountability and self discipline levels would be very interesting to listen to.
Your podcast has given me so much and I’m sure a podcast like this would transform it even more.
Nothing against Goggins, but I don’t think the two would mesh well. Goggins is not typically liked by the SEAL community. I have nothing to support this other than comments other SEALS have made on other podcasts and multiple Reddit threads talking about this same link up you are asking for.
Goggins is a whiner and half of his stories are lies. There is a reason most Seals don't have him on
@@Jistarii I heard Goggins liked to get kind of weird come lights out
I would only add that, as a parent, one is allowed to enforce their own consequences felt by those within their own household. For instance, "you tell me when you are ready, but, in my home, those who are late to school do not play video games." That is no less than society and the state does. Kids might as well understand that rules are rules, and choices are choices. THAT IS ADULTHOOD.
The one thing I always said when I have a kid, I’m going to try my hardest to never say your to young to know I’ll feel you when your older. We all have said I wish I knew then what I know now.
Tuff stuff. We kinda picked up what someone else was putting down when it comes to using ways to make people do things a certain way. Now you can recognize it's ineffective and never really made things work out. So out of the interest of helping the people around you make good choices and having a good sense of self-direction we're looking at better ways of communicating. Leading by example, and giving so and so the reigns to their respective interests
7:20 "Your making me uncomfortable. If your going to keep driving like this you can let me out." Because your not telling them what to do. You are just setting your boundaries. Same can go for lots of stuff. "If you keep acting like that i don't want to hang out with/work with you anymore." estr. This is NOT an option with your own kids. With whom you HAVE to first set a good example for. And lay out clear and firm boundaries for.
The amount of overlap between Jocko Willink's and Sam Harris' messages saved my life.
That was pre-TDS Sam I assume
“Kids don’t do as they’re told, they watch and learn.”
Not sure who’s statement this is but I know it’s true in our house 😁
I fail on lots of little things but try really hard to get the big one right 🤞
The worst is being a male riding with a woman who’s giving people the bird. Get you into a physical altercation.
Love it. Makes me think about the Pace.Pace.Lead method ex: a kid comes back home angry from school because his bully hit him and now he himself wants to hit him next day. The bad reaction from the father would be to tell him it's bad, he shouldn't do that, maybe try and talk to his teacher etc... The right reaction would be to "get on the same level" as the kid by saying something like "yeah you're right who doesnhe think he is, don't worry we'll get back to him etc" (this is Pace) but then slowly lead him to a different direction "you're absolutely right but maybe we'll try and be more clever and go to the principal's office cause i don't want you to get in trouble because of this idiot etc..."
*Jocko Willink is the Reluctant Leader we need.*
.....We know you've done enough, but your Nation needs you.
🇺🇸 *2024* 🦅
What about building children and young adults that are receptive to input. There's a fundamental reason that so many people live by "don't tell me what to do". When we force our young to live with this much disrespect directed at them. "Don't tell me what to do" becomes their defense mechanism. Respect EVERYONE like you want us all to respect your mom. And we'll be better able to humanely, respond to those moments like. "Yeah you're right I'm tailgating that car." "I'll back off a bit, so you don't feel like Gibbs Slapping me." Just build better people in the first place.
Wisdom!
If you're going to have your fuve year old make lunch, be sure to put the bread and PB&J where they can reach it. Don't make them fail,set them up to succeed.
My son 7 Judo and boxing. My daughter 9 Judo and gymnastics. We hike in the weekends and they have to play outside everyday.
The only people i loved helping or for that matter managing were those people who showed interest in learning. Those people would get compliments from me trying to stimulate more interest i hope they might find the level of love i would have for the job or task. Seldom unfortunately did it work, most people do not love work. Its unfortunate most never find a job they love.
Good parents are like a background radio on all the timr
Love it
Great message, advice, 🏆 thank you
UP BEFORE THE ENEMY! I CAN SEE YOU GUYS MAKING AND DROPPING THIS THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING GET SOME FROG MAN
!
Please keep your videos up
I remember onetime a friend was riding with me and said, “Do you not drive this way very often?…Because you are waiting for the light to turn green when you are allowed to turn on red.” I think about him saying that all the time. 😅
I feel this adviser has no kids
One time my wife was mega pregnant and she was driving my truck home and I said “hey you are little close to the edge of the road” she told me to stfu …then a cop pulled her over in our driveway and said he pulled her over because she was almost off the side of the road and he wanted to make sure she wasn’t drinking. 😅
5:16 I tell my old lady all the time to back off of traffic. She drives like an animal, and in the winter it's genuinely uncomfortable to drive with her. She doesn't like it when I tell her, you're right. She's a super aggressive driver and likes to honk and flip people off for minor mistakes- I've tried explaining gently that she is physically incapable of fighting effectively (no BJJ, won't work out, never played rough or fought) and someone is eventually going to follow her and tune her up. But, she thinks it's funny and it'll never happen. Even thinks she's being cute while she's telling me about this stuff. When she does get tuned up, I've told her I won't do a thing about it- given her plenty of heads-up, so if she gets her ass kicked, she won't be getting any sympathy from me.
I agree with Mike from Fieldcaraft you should run for president Jacko. You’d have a lot of Americans in your corner.
Bro , you know what I really loved the things that you doing because that the things what really means life .Life have a number of different asspects we must do that things and the second reason, is my thinkings , or you say "Philoshophy" very much reletates to you , I will also do things for other but due to some finincial problem I can't .
Well I a boy 13 years old
From INDIA
And love the contant you make
" Keep it up bro "
As a listener from the very beginning, it’s so strange to hear Jocko use swear words like “shit.”
Love Jesus with all your remembering and imagining. Seek God and his sweet amazing grace.
Hey jocko, what was your self talk like on overseas operations and where is the line between being positive through not the best situations and excepting your limitations versus lying to yourself and unhealthily
Leading by example over time necessitates stability and not transiency - in both leaders and the led, can't be bouncing around if we want to get ahead
Teach them How to Plan, and Show them the Path.
Imposing your beliefs most likely won’t get people to change
Best way to influence people is through the indirect methodology
It takes years, people need to see you for a long time to set the example for the way of doing things
Set the example to
build a relationship to influence
Trust
Listen
Respect
Influence
Give people ownership
Pack your own lunch and buckle up your hard hat.
Psychologists have gotten their assumptions wrong on this before. They posited that kids raised in a calm environment would be calm. Turned out calm parents pass on calm genes and therefore the kids are calm too. Easy to assume it was the example or the imprinting, but it mostly wasn't.
I’m trying to get my 5 year old son to train Jiu Jitsu, he says he wants to and he likes it but every class he does the warmup and then sits on the wall and sometimes he cries and says he doesn’t want to go. I want him to train like me and I’m worried I’m pushing too hard
Maybe ease off a year or two? 5 might be a little early for mma (for some kids)
All my boys started at 4. All of them loved it following big brother. You have to make it fun for him. Show him moves that always work on anyone. Bring him to some tournaments. Let him see kids getting medals and the smiles in their faces. Remember it’s suppose to be fun for him at the start. Master one thing at a time. Jujitsu is about time and patience… so is mentoring our kids. #Oss
My 8 year old bit is in wrestling, been there for almost two years. It was a gradual process for him to get in. Same stuff you talk about. After a lot of talking through the fears and worries he had he let me know that he thought he had to wrestle the coach at some point. And the coach, although a grandpa, is a big burly guy. My son is really small for his age. The coach and I pointed out the weight line, and how kids will only be against kids their own size, not adults.
All this to say, keep talking calmly with your kid to discover where the response is coming from. Don't try "are you scared of the coach?". But ask "is anyone here scary?". And never belittle his response. I told my kid I wouldn't want to wrestle the coach either. There may be something going on in his head that makes no sense, but since he has very little experience in life it may seem logical to him.
In my family anyone at anytime can say somthing if it involves saftet amd a rule of the house is that request for safter has to be honored. Ive had my kids calle put for dangerous farm practices, and i do back at them. Always teach safty is not to be connected to pride
No kid yet but my girlfriend & I are almost ready
My view, I can build and show them the road, but they need to walk down it of their own free will.
Jocko you can't be a lethal weapon and well read. It's not fair.
5:20 now i want to tell Jocko's wife how to drive lol if jocko tells me to do it i do it. no thinking required
Great advice if your dealing with people,kids,employees that are already decent but the way the world is today a little Jesus christ what the hell is this crap you can't act like that. Overweight cell phone addiction ect
They are not going to watch and Lea there going to sit and let you do it all. It's a hard one to get around.
What about keeping your kids off drugs? Can’t really let them make those mistakes without some type of intervention.
True.
Take them out to work a soup kitchen and start some conversations with the attendees. Perhaps take the kids along to drop some donations to a local nonprofit recovery center and ask to have a chat with someone in recovery. No better anti drug than meeting addicts, skin and bones looking like they're 70yrs old while they are in their mid 30s, and a few good stories about how they got there could do wonders.
It is culture, blind copying. When someone says I'm not going to do X like my parents did, trust and believe they are going to do the exact same thing in a similar form, UNLESS they recognize they will repeat the behavior and choose to model different behavior.
When you are very close to someone they know if you have a alternative motive
I think sometimes you have to impose on kids to teach them how to handle situations where they aren’t the boss.
Lead from the front.
That “Flexing how good I am” thing is very off putting. My mom did this for years., 🙄.
Her credit score, her savings, her blah blah.
Then I compared to her flaws that she DIDNT mention. Drove me nuts. .
How many wars have you guys won? Exactly...
I feel like a great system for your "self reliance" podcast would be something where if I buy your creatine for instance it gives me a month of the podcast. Then I have this I am going to buy creatine or maybe I should so to listen to Jocko I will buy it from him. Ya know?
Truth: I have 5 kids(now adults) and they will be like that.
"be somebody"? who wants to just "be somebody" there's a million now a days
👍
Jocko Underground doesn’t have the episode number listed. Also the dates are off. “April 20,2121”
💯 👊🏻💪🏻👍🏻
Not true. You can beat a child to the point where they just hate.😢
💎