"Homelessness was solved by the great death star today. In other news, unemployment and housing problems also have been reduced to zero. The Emperor is doing the greatest job ever."
@@squatchhammer7215 "The value of Alderaanian goods has exploded to unseen heights today. Supply is very limited, so if you're a collector, buy quick before its all gone!"
@@empireofitalypsstimfromano5025 I think over 5 million deaths in a year would be good enough for the death rate to go up then down all of a sudden just because it made up for it taking place throughout a year with over 10x the amount of deaths the bombs caused.
The "the unemployment rate is now at zero" bit reminds of the Cyberpunk. I think on the radio or in a loading screen, which has radio news playing, it's mentioned that Nite City's violent crime rate dropped by a substantial margine, and it's because they basically removed one of the districts, Pacifica, from itself. Since Pacifica is no longer part of Nite City, Nite City's crime rate has gone down. Correction: It is actually spelled "Night City". It is NOT
Yeah I found that so hilarious. "We sold Pacifica for a single dollar to a corp (for er... symbolic reasons?) who doesn't really want it so that we can say it's no longer part of Night City and therefore say our crime rate just plummeted because the murderhobo district's gone now."
It's so typical and so believable too. "Actually take steps to SOLVE the problem? Pfft, fuck that, let's just adjust the framing of the problem so we look better while making absolutely zero or even negative positive impact."
"If We Remove Half The City Then The Crime Rate Will Also Drop By Half Right?" "Yeah But Let's Not Get Ahead Of Ourselves If We Sell It All At Once The Citizens Will Start To Suspect Something's Up
it is a known "strategy" in Stellaris to deal with an extreme overpopulation crisis by putting all of the excess population on one planet and annihilating it with a Colossus
I once conquered a fallen empire, but man were their pops angry about the whole thing. Their sector kept trying to revolt. Eventually I had enough, and moved the entire population of the fallen empire onto one world, before drowning them all with a colossus.
What gives me feelings of power Money>>> Status>>>>>>> Getting my comment hearted by one of my favorite youtubers>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I swear to god, Badger's videos make me cry from laughing. There's just those few moments in the 20 to 30 minute video that sends me laughing like a hyena.
Yavin IV was orbiting a gas giant... And it had a ton of trees and a few oceans scattered around as well. Plus some super-lakes. So, that leaves us with: - Gas mining - Logging - Fisheries and food production - Likely a couple mines here and there across Yavin IV. - The dangerous predators were good for export as unique pets, and as gladiatorial combatants. Overall, it would be a bit of a waste to outright destroy the planet. Maybe some isolated destruction on the low settings of the Death Star, but otherwise an invasion to take over would be better in the long run.
If you set the power of the beam just right, you could still destroy the planet but leave most resources unharmed enough to be harvested. The materials you‘d have to mine are now out in the open vastness of space, ready to be gathered and refined. The trees are frozen and prepared for extraction. The gasses and liquids would gather into individual balls to be collected in a manner much easier than gathering them from an active atmosphere. The value of the pets and by extension their frozen, packaged corpses would skyrocket as you‘d sell their remains to museums, collectors and scientists. Overall, seems like a pretty big haul.
@@Ze_N00B I finished the book Death Star a few months back so a low power setting, 1/3 killed the biosphere of the Empire's penal colony Despayre: "They-they're firing at the planet. With the superlaser." The orange and black spread in irregular waves now, continuing outward from the center. The blue of the ocean didn't even slow it down. "The atmosphere's on fire," Ratua said, calmly, as if he were discussing the weather. Going to be a warm day today, temperature around five thousand degrees... ... Seismographic sensors had shown that massive groundquakes had begun, rumbling down into the bowels of the planet. Giant waves in the ocean, generated by the shifting of tectonic plates, rushed for the shores of the big continent. Volcanoes spewed lava. Clouds of steam and volcanic ash began to rapidly obscure the surface from view- but not fast enough. He had just killed everything on the planet Despayre. If all life wasn't dead already, it would be soon. I imagine 10% (even if that little could be used considering how much power the reactor outputs) would destroy at least a continent from fire or tectonic disturbances alone WAY overkill.
i'm reminded of the bit in Attack On Titan where the solution found to "we have too many mouths to feed" was "COOL LETS JUST GATHER UP A FEW THOUSAND CIVILIANS AND MAKE 'EM RUN SCREAMING AT THE TITANS! THIS IDEA IS GREAT AND OUR BRAINS ARE MASSIVE"
I bet there were at least a handful of stormtroopers who acted like Badger did here: wondering what the point of all this genocide was, but still doing it because it gave them money. Remember, the stormstormtroopers were mostly civilians who joined. So more than likely, some weren't entirely okay with what was happening but just needed money or something to do.
I mean they did just solve world hunger too. Can't be hungry if your dead. Can't be a world problem without a planet. Took care of both issues with one shot, killing two birds with one stone.
I mean THEY WERE going to blow up Yavin IV. Though like. WHAT THE EMPIRE SHOULD HAVE DONE is blow up Yavin. The planet Yavin VI orbits. Not only would it pretty quickly decimate Yavin 4 if not quicker than it'd take for the deathstar to actually target the planet. Though I've heard some suggestions that they couldn't do this BECAUSE it would have also threatened the death star too blowing up a fucking gas giant at that range
I mean, why should the Empire have cared? They thought they were invincible, and they pretty much were. What could a small rebel fleet do to a moon-sized battle station? Might as well wait a few minutes to get a direct hit on Yavin 4, obliterate it without question. How could they have known a space wizard, that the Empire had nearly hunted to extinction, would be there for the critical shot? That they'd even make it through all the defenses? Plus, as of Rogue One, a shot that's only critical because of an intentional design flaw the Empire didn't know about, because that knowledge died with Krennic on Scarif.
@@the_rabidsquirel They literally blew up Alderaan for less reason. So yes, WHY would they care about Yavin Prime? Why not just blow it up and save everyone some time?
@@krissybaglin9206 Because I assume they can't just rapid fire off the death star laser. A weapon of that magnitude probably requires a good bit of time between firings, probably enough that it's quicker to just wait till Yavin 4 is in view. That's always been my headcanon.
Fun fact there was only in the millions of people on the planet and most evacuated the rebel killed so many more innocent people by destroying both death stars
Crime rate! Homeless rate! All down to zero!
AND MUCH MORE!!1!!1
Death rates (one moment extremely high but now) Zero.
Economic inflation
*ZERO*
Population is now in the number in what Dio in Jojo always say......"Zero"
Except the death rate. That just jumps to a 100
It's funny because literally no one lives on Yavin IV besides the rebels, who are also technically squatters
Exar Kun's ghost, who's chillin' in his temple on Yavin 4 when he hears they're gonna blow up the planet - "Wait a minute......"
@@General_Kenobi_212 Exar Kun: "No No No No No! WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!"
Note: Please read in Punisher voice
Exar Kun letting the rebels set up shop in his temple like, "Oh yall pulling up on this bullshit rule of two empire? Nah go ahead."
@@cybernurgle6413 I know it's Legends, but what about the Messasi warriors? All those other heinous experiments done thousands of years ago.
@@giovannyalpizar5351also wasn’t revans force ghost there or something too?
now i want this on a Star wars short called "daily stormtrooper"
Lemme introduce to you
Gary the Stormtroopers from adult swim
"Homelessness was solved by the great death star today.
In other news, unemployment and housing problems also have been reduced to zero. The Emperor is doing the greatest job ever."
@@squatchhammer7215 "The value of Alderaanian goods has exploded to unseen heights today. Supply is very limited, so if you're a collector, buy quick before its all gone!"
The death rate went up but at least the suicide rate went down to 0!
Well… if there are no people on it… then no one is dying… and if no one is dying… then the death rate will also be zero…
@@Kiru_Kahl The death rate UP suddenly, then DOWN suddenely. Because the all died... just like avg. temp. of Hiroshima in the 40's
@@TaitLawrence-xl2xb And like Nanjing massacre, the holocaust, and Holodomor
@@doomfan8603 No It's Different Because Those Events Weren't As Immediate As A Flash Of Light At Hiroshima
@@empireofitalypsstimfromano5025 I think over 5 million deaths in a year would be good enough for the death rate to go up then down all of a sudden just because it made up for it taking place throughout a year with over 10x the amount of deaths the bombs caused.
I imagine this how the Stormtroopers act when they ain't fighting squatters aka rebels
@Homer Weird.
The "the unemployment rate is now at zero" bit reminds of the Cyberpunk. I think on the radio or in a loading screen, which has radio news playing, it's mentioned that Nite City's violent crime rate dropped by a substantial margine, and it's because they basically removed one of the districts, Pacifica, from itself. Since Pacifica is no longer part of Nite City, Nite City's crime rate has gone down.
Correction: It is actually spelled "Night City".
It is NOT
I think it was also mentioned in Who killed mayor quest.
Yeah I found that so hilarious. "We sold Pacifica for a single dollar to a corp (for er... symbolic reasons?) who doesn't really want it so that we can say it's no longer part of Night City and therefore say our crime rate just plummeted because the murderhobo district's gone now."
It's so typical and so believable too. "Actually take steps to SOLVE the problem? Pfft, fuck that, let's just adjust the framing of the problem so we look better while making absolutely zero or even negative positive impact."
"If We Remove Half The City Then The Crime Rate Will Also Drop By Half Right?"
"Yeah But Let's Not Get Ahead Of Ourselves If We Sell It All At Once The Citizens Will Start To Suspect Something's Up
@@Archris17 I mean to fair with the voodoo boys in control of the area it’s made clear that no one messes with pacific for fear of death
it is a known "strategy" in Stellaris to deal with an extreme overpopulation crisis by putting all of the excess population on one planet and annihilating it with a Colossus
I once conquered a fallen empire, but man were their pops angry about the whole thing. Their sector kept trying to revolt. Eventually I had enough, and moved the entire population of the fallen empire onto one world, before drowning them all with a colossus.
Any problem in stellaris can be solved with colossus
@@lewismartin3430 except another colossus. But that’s what you’ve got Juggernauts for.
@@adarkwind4712 exactly
Someone needs to animate this, but it’s just these guys sitting around a table in the cafeteria
mission accepted
@@Snek_Animation Do let us know when you've accomplished the mission. We need to see it!
@@isaiahgeorge906 it will be lego, so take it or leave it
@@Snek_Animation I'd still watch it.
@@Snek_Animation 100% Take it.
pov: the break room at the imperial barracks
And now there's no break room because the death Star blew up
Them having an argument about blowing up Yavin IV, while currently on the Death Star heading towards Yavin IV
The fact that these are stormtroopers makes this a million times funnier
I like to imagine this is an actual conversation some stormtroopers had at one point
cant have a homeless problem if there's no people to be homeless
But there are also no homes
@isaac ljung no one needs a home, thus housing levels match the housing needs
Unemployment is zero..... 😂
The best part...it fits in the 40K Universe as well
What gives me feelings of power
Money>>>
Status>>>>>>>
Getting my comment hearted by one of my favorite youtubers>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Actual audio recorded from a discussion of the femprimarch's SO's while the primarchs were in a meeting
These guys went to the wrong Imperium.
These guys bring such chaotic energy, and I’m so here for it.
I SEE THIS AS AN ABSOLUTE WIN
“TK-83640...are we the baddies?”
Nah
Badger trying to make his point is like an officer talking to a gaggle of grunts lol
I swear to god, Badger's videos make me cry from laughing. There's just those few moments in the 20 to 30 minute video that sends me laughing like a hyena.
It's kind of scary that both of presentational style and the topics being discussed at this very much mirrors modern internet political discourse.
Man's got a future in politics. The downside is that Palpatine doesn't like that.
"everything goes to zero"
Well except death rate for a second
Just because you're technically not wrong, doesn't mean what you're doing is right.
Yavin IV was orbiting a gas giant... And it had a ton of trees and a few oceans scattered around as well. Plus some super-lakes.
So, that leaves us with:
- Gas mining
- Logging
- Fisheries and food production
- Likely a couple mines here and there across Yavin IV.
- The dangerous predators were good for export as unique pets, and as gladiatorial combatants.
Overall, it would be a bit of a waste to outright destroy the planet. Maybe some isolated destruction on the low settings of the Death Star, but otherwise an invasion to take over would be better in the long run.
If you set the power of the beam just right, you could still destroy the planet but leave most resources unharmed enough to be harvested.
The materials you‘d have to mine are now out in the open vastness of space, ready to be gathered and refined. The trees are frozen and prepared for extraction. The gasses and liquids would gather into individual balls to be collected in a manner much easier than gathering them from an active atmosphere.
The value of the pets and by extension their frozen, packaged corpses would skyrocket as you‘d sell their remains to museums, collectors and scientists.
Overall, seems like a pretty big haul.
@@Ze_N00B I finished the book Death Star a few months back so a low power setting, 1/3 killed the biosphere of the Empire's penal colony Despayre:
"They-they're firing at the planet. With the superlaser."
The orange and black spread in irregular waves now, continuing outward from the center. The blue of the ocean didn't even slow it down.
"The atmosphere's on fire," Ratua said, calmly, as if he were discussing the weather. Going to be a warm day today, temperature around five thousand degrees...
...
Seismographic sensors had shown that massive groundquakes had begun, rumbling down into the bowels of the planet. Giant waves in the ocean, generated by the shifting of tectonic plates, rushed for the shores of the big continent. Volcanoes spewed lava. Clouds of steam and volcanic ash began to rapidly obscure the surface from view- but not fast enough.
He had just killed everything on the planet Despayre. If all life wasn't dead already, it would be soon.
I imagine 10% (even if that little could be used considering how much power the reactor outputs) would destroy at least a continent from fire or tectonic disturbances alone WAY overkill.
Every ISB meeting in Andor
the solution for unemployment rates
*d e s t r o y e v e r y t h i n g*
Crime rate: 0
World Hunger: 0
Wars: 0
Life itself: 0
All upsides!
Bro this clip got me wheezing on the floor 🤣
The empire turned alderaans crime rate to 0%
Only for a few minutes though. Then the Millennium Falcon showed up.
@@magicyber909 Well not really, he would need to land on the planet for that to be true. He was just in the neighborhood.
It can't be a crime if there are no survivors.
or
It can't be a crime if you legalize super weapon tests on populated worlds. Illegal to own one, but not illegal to fire it.
i'm reminded of the bit in Attack On Titan where the solution found to "we have too many mouths to feed" was "COOL LETS JUST GATHER UP A FEW THOUSAND CIVILIANS AND MAKE 'EM RUN SCREAMING AT THE TITANS! THIS IDEA IS GREAT AND OUR BRAINS ARE MASSIVE"
Y‘all remember the meeting scene from A New Hope, with all the officers from the empire? They should‘ve done this instead of the og scene.
I bet there were at least a handful of stormtroopers who acted like Badger did here: wondering what the point of all this genocide was, but still doing it because it gave them money. Remember, the stormstormtroopers were mostly civilians who joined. So more than likely, some weren't entirely okay with what was happening but just needed money or something to do.
Well, not quite every rate dropped to zero
The death rate was VERY high for a few minutes…
When the necrons converse about destroying a planet on their Universal level weaponized map:
Well... The unemployment rate went to zero, but also so did the crime rate.
The only person who can say I killed half the population to stop unemployment was thanos
He didn’t do that to solve unemployment. He did that to lower the price of oil.
I'll never understand why they cut this scene from the movie.
I would watch a show that’s just a bunch of storm troopers in their off time at a cantina talking about stuff like this
The funeral business must be making bank in the empire.
This is the most anti-war message I have ever heard in decades.
this was actually really funny, good job, you're a top G now
This reminds me of the phineas and ferb Star Wars movie where doofensmirtz was checking his stocks on aalderaan when it blew up.
Ecomic inflation is at zero but so is the entire economy.
Don't forget world hunger has been ended and they have a perfectly stable economy!
I don't know why I got this video in my feed today, but I am grateful.
Came at the perfect moment. Masterchief 101 with 101 subscribers
it's beautiful xD thanks you for this masterpiece
funny enough, emperor palpatine nuked mandalore into oblivion because of this exact same reason.
I mean they did just solve world hunger too. Can't be hungry if your dead. Can't be a world problem without a planet. Took care of both issues with one shot, killing two birds with one stone.
You can't with that attitude russianbadger
Solved world hunger on that planet too
Unemployment is zero, hunger is at zero, crime is at zero. I don't see any downsides here.
I saved thousands on my car insurance by destroying the planet all the witnesses were on.
It’s in character for the scout trooper to make the argument.
Say what you want about the empire, But they did kinda reduce the amount of crimes on Alderaan to 0.
Gone reduced to atoms
Grand Moff Tarkin would be proud.
0:15 I cite this bit whenever utopian characters come up.
AHA. Incorrect. The rate of 1 thing doesnt go to 0. The deathe rate XD
"Its not a problem if it doesn't exist!"
-Every monster ever
You can't have homeless people if there's no people who need a home
Average Stellaris player
Mortality rate just became 100%
You can't have unemployment if there's no one to be employed
I mean THEY WERE going to blow up Yavin IV.
Though like. WHAT THE EMPIRE SHOULD HAVE DONE is blow up Yavin. The planet Yavin VI orbits. Not only would it pretty quickly decimate Yavin 4 if not quicker than it'd take for the deathstar to actually target the planet.
Though I've heard some suggestions that they couldn't do this BECAUSE it would have also threatened the death star too blowing up a fucking gas giant at that range
I mean, why should the Empire have cared? They thought they were invincible, and they pretty much were. What could a small rebel fleet do to a moon-sized battle station? Might as well wait a few minutes to get a direct hit on Yavin 4, obliterate it without question.
How could they have known a space wizard, that the Empire had nearly hunted to extinction, would be there for the critical shot? That they'd even make it through all the defenses? Plus, as of Rogue One, a shot that's only critical because of an intentional design flaw the Empire didn't know about, because that knowledge died with Krennic on Scarif.
@@the_rabidsquirel They literally blew up Alderaan for less reason. So yes, WHY would they care about Yavin Prime? Why not just blow it up and save everyone some time?
@@krissybaglin9206 Because I assume they can't just rapid fire off the death star laser. A weapon of that magnitude probably requires a good bit of time between firings, probably enough that it's quicker to just wait till Yavin 4 is in view. That's always been my headcanon.
So the stormtroopers got there humour from cod voices chat players
Glassing a planet to solve an unemployment problem sounds like an A.I thing to do
"It doesnt matter they were terrorists" 💀💀
Look on the bright side, the Rebel employment on the planet dropped to zero!
Blow up Yavin IV all you want in the end it's only a moon
Yavin 4…. 44 second video. The video was on my “for” you page…. 🤔
Probally because you've been watching either star wars related content, Russianbadger content, or both.
Bro I owned a loan shark on aldderan like 80,000 credits and now I don't. Empire did me a solid.
Upside: Unemployment rate drops to 0%
Downside: Employment rate drops to 0%
Cmon guys, it not just about unemployment.
World peace, world hunger and the environment gets solved as well
Fun fact there was only in the millions of people on the planet and most evacuated the rebel killed so many more innocent people by destroying both death stars
Of course the ZF member made that joke XD
This has me rolling, lol!
Sure the unemployment rate drops to zero but the employment rate drops to zero
hold on let him cook
Everyrate goes to zero. Except mortality rate. That goes straight up to 100%
They were trying to blow up Yavin 4 in the movie but the Death star was blown up before they got in range.
Well no witnesses
This clip makes me smile
Nobody can complain about your gdp/capita if you don’t have any capita.
Best moment.
3 explosions
Modern problems need modern solutions
No, no, he's got a point
ROFLMAO this is gold
Employment rate also went down to zero. It's not all good news.
The rate of rates falls to 0
If Capitalism was taken seriously
If play Stellaris this a actually solution to unemployment and over population.
Storm trooper podcast about to be canceled
Jesus Christ it's like looking in a mirror
I did it for the economy!
I dont care about Yavin 4. I just hope nothing bad happens to Alderaan