Muslims Wives Need to Wake Up! Honest conversation with Umm Talha | TMC2: E5
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- Umm Talha is back! More honest, down-to-earth advice from an experienced wife and community marriage coach.
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#naimabrobert #marriageconversation - Zábava
I’m 43 not married . Alhumdullilah 😌😌😌 . May Allah bless me to get married soon to righteous loving Man that practices the Deen and is close to Allah 😀😀
Zawj matrimonial services
Ameen❤❤
Ameen ameen ameen
If you want to marry leave Islam and burn those black fabrics around you!
Better to pray for a kind and patient husband speaking from what fell from heaven for me.
I’m in my early 20’s and Alhamdulillah I am married. A lot of girls that I know say the phrase “I want a husband who will guide me towards the Deen”. We all want a pious husband/wife of course, but in saying that, we can not be 100% reliant on our spouse to bring us closer to Allah and the Deen of Islam. We need to first and foremost build a relationship with Allah and guide ourselves towards righteousness, and your husband is there with you as a companion on your journey towards Him. The journey to Allah begins with you and will end with you standing in front of Him and Him alone. And there will be many times where your husband will need guidance from you as well, so we as wives also need to gain beneficial knowledge that will lead the both of you to Jannah. 💗
As someone who isn’t married and is struggling to find someone, I really appreciate this message. There’s times where I get sad that I don’t have a companion but Alhamdulillah I can utilise this time to actually develop my relationship with Allah swt
Well said Farah! Without this foundation many end up trying to understand him when they never attempted to learn themselves and their relationship with Allah first. Of course this works both ways.
Masha Allah u need to teach this people in 40s a thing or 2.
.....Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
Unfortunately my friend hubby was good hes now a 24 hour heroin addict and she has no respect cuz of him ..in community belive me she has helped him soo many times but I said its him who who will need 2 change for him self its got 2 be him hes now 44 still on drugs 💉 stealing selling yh shes young girl 2 its hard shes left him now and returned to her country and she didn't look bk shes 21 but people in Muslim communities need 2 stop jugh her maybe thry shud teach there kids not 2 do road kill speeding and drugs these guys ruin lives say no to drugs instead sister they sell it too them then there hooked its a shame my mate has left uk
Mu'adh (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) took hold of my hand and said, "O Mu'adh! By Allah I love you, so I advise you to never forget to recite after every prayer: "Allahumma a'inni ala dhikrika, wa shukrika, wa husni 'ibadatika (O Allah, help me remember You, to be grateful to You, and to worship You in an excellent manner)."
[Abu Dawud].
lloolll Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
Hello from Patrick's mum :) As a revert (in Australia) I am learning so much from CZcams khutbah. It is nice to learn on this subject from such wise ladies ... Thankyou !!
You are most welcome 🤗 have fun with us. Live is a lesson we are all learning new things every
It needs to be appreciated by both husband and wife, some men say " been home all day what have you done" as if cooking, cleaning looking after children, tidying isn't a job.
And some women be like" I want this I want that....some women can be very ungrateful.
A happy loving marriage works both ways Alhamdulillah.some sacrifices have to be made by both husband and wife.
" some women are ungrateful " understatement of the year 😀
@@thebeesnuts777 Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
Sahih al-Bukhari
If your husband say "what have you done "
,sit together and ask what should I do , honestly that will make you happy(so that we can cultivate togetherness and keep it civil).
Most likely ,he will ask for some yummy food or something trivial to keep the presure of the working all day out.
Write it down on a paper with your own request in the same calibre.
The children also learn healthy relationship rather than mindless drama.
The world also be a better place.
@@sunset2.00 to say " what have you done is wrong altogether"
Cuz being a home maker isn't easy.
Most men fall apart looking after child/ children.
Good advice tho Alhamdulillah, JazzakAllaahu khairan.
Fr my dad does that and my mum does way more for us
I've never heard anyone ask 'why should I be grateful?' That's really disturbing. Be grateful coz Allah has asked you to be. Be grateful to your husband and watch your life change. You and your friends are not the aim of life.
Gratitude is something that should be shown to your spouse. I wish you would also do a program on men being appreciative and loving towards their wives, something that is very lacking in the brothers these days
As salaam wa leikum the feminist agenda is real all from the shaitan. What ayat speaks on what the Angel's taught m/f how to sow discord amongst m/f by using magic blk and white arts. Rasula told us in ahadiths time will come easier to 💦 then💍.
Why is it with you feminist always saying "But What about men". This is a sign that you are insincere.
Whataboutism is a disease a lot of sisters have.
Whenever men are giving advice I never hear "but What about women"
Gratitude? You know many Muslim men in the West are eating sandwiches from Tesco and wearing same clothes for weeks until they get time to wash. While some practicing women are focused on showing how pious they are outside… it’s not a gender thing, so please don’t try to generalise and build on narrative of women always being the victims and men as the perpetrators.
Also let me add, many men are good people, they are instinctively bread winner’s, they very well know how to look after and treat women with gentle and care. Modern practising Muslim women have way too many expectations, many of them (not all) are hidden idealists and might even possess narcissistic traits, likewise there’s some practising men like this, unfortunately not all. It’s time the Muslim community spoke the truth and changed the narrative of the modern west in which there’s laws focussed more towards women and hardly anything for some poor men that are suffering from domestic violence while practising sister behaves pious outside and beats up her hubby outside or hubby pious in mosque and wife beater at home
Unfortunately men do not show this enthusiasm to learn how to
Improve or solve issues in marriage
I truly believe that living with an unappreciative person is the worst life anyone can have..
Yes, most women are like this
---ö--Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
@@botbeamer shut up Istg
just like my dad, my mum did everything yet he still abused her
@@Jasmine-ge2xv .ö.----Allah allows Muslims sxx with 5y old children 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
May Allah help everyone here with their marriages! Ameen
Ameen beautiful dua
Ameen
Allahumma Ameen !
amern
..lkkk.....Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
My husband is the primary cook of our home and I don’t see anything wrong with it. He enjoys it and is much better than myself at it. I would like to know the proof in Islam where it says a woman must be the cook. Jaz Khairan sisters
I don’t think there’s anything wrong in your case. He enjoys it and you enjoy it so it’s a win win. I think it’s problematic when the women feel she is entitled to not cook. Some sisters say it’s not part of women islamic role to cook but they never mention that they should obey their husbands and if their husbands expect them to cook, they should do it.
May Allah bless your marriage, sis!
@@astrochld4103 If you read the comment before yours about obeying the husband, depending on the context it can be fard.
@@NaimaBRobertTV Amin!
My view on this .. whether your married or not ..a woman or anyhuman being must learn how to cook and how to clean And organize his or her home.
Jazzakum Allahu khairan for key points that we can apply within new and old marriages and other areas of life too. Very positive
Jazzakallah sisters, you’re doing a great job.
Thank you for opening my mind more. Being looking for something that talks about women's responsibility in marriage. Alhamdulillah, I came across this. Jazak Allah khair
I really enjoyed listening to this and am already feeling grateful to Allah swt for jetting me find this video, may Allah reward you, Ameen
-p--Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
My dear sister Naima, by Allah you are doing a big service to this ummah. You are helping us sift out our character so we properly emulate the teaching of Islam. I like it when you jump in and stress a point your guest has mentioned. May Allah unite us in Jannah.
I'm taking notes for the future 😉
But do the opposite 🤣🤣🤣
@@muhammadmafaz8530 why?
@@khadijahassan7130 just kidding. Barakallah sister
@King Sultan why?
@@khadijahassan7130 😂😂 I sense a matchmaking process
I love this. JazaakAllahu khayran.
Looking forward to the rest of this conversation !
I haven't seen all the episodes of TMC, but out of the few that I have watched, this was the best for me. Real and raw advice. JazakAllahu khayr and I hope Allah swt makes you successful in this marriage mission.
Masha Allah, this is very interesting conversation Jaza Kallahu Khairan.
Great video, sisters.
Entitlement is what leads to a lack of gratitude. It's a very scary spiritual disease. When you feel entitled for something, then you feel like you're supposed to have it, and therefore, its impossible to feel gratitude. Entitlement negates gratitude. The more entitled a person feels towards a wider variety of things, the less gratitude they are capable of imbibing for even small things.
Gratitude is born from looking at those who have less than you, who are in a far more difficult position than you, and feeling immensely relieved at your state of affairs despite not being anymore deserving for such abundance than they are. having a wife or a husband is not an entitlement, it is a gift from God.
Realizing that you are not deserving is paradoxically an important prerequisite for gratitude whereas believing that you are deserving results in its opposite. The more deserving you feel, the more entitled you will feel towards what you have, and therefore, taking it for granted instead of having gratitude. All of these secular self-help movements, rooted in that narcissistic "self-love", and becoming a "boss-babe" is all about cultivating this sense of entitlement and deservedness for anything and everything. They think that by building up within you this massive sense of entitlement, you will feel motivated to go and take what you want without self-sabotaging yourself. However, the opposite is true. When you feel entitled towards things, and feel deserving of having it all, you will begin to feel anxious because of the fact that you don't yet have it. This anxiety will be coming from what's called 'status-anxiety', where you judge your own value by comparing yourself to others. This is because you have developed an inflated ego, an entitled sense of self. For you to be deserving, others must be less deserving, and this is how you arrogate yourself above others.
Feminism, unfortunately, cultivates arrogance and narcissism, which falls under the category of tabarruj. This is why, I think, the hadith that most women will be in hellfire becomes true. Feminism has swept the world. It is a movement that is meant to target women in order to shape them because when you control women and what they value and how they behave, then you can control the rest of society. Men will do whatever they think women, particularly attractive women, want because the test of men is to look with desire. Very easily they look at women and judge their value by approval from those women.
Well said, this is the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good/ evil or life apart
From God/ SELF,
Which brought into creation sin suffering death and eternal separation. That’s why Jesus came to make us a new creation, born of The Spirit for righteousness unto eternal life
Beautifully explained apart from the last 5 lines ‘ Men will do whatever they think ..’ etc What did you mean by that last part ? I didn’t understand.
and remember we're doing this for Allah ta'ala Firstly , it'll make things easier .
A lot of to learn from this convo. Love it.
This is so good. As a husband, there is a lot I learnt... am learning.
Enjoyable interview! Allah tala protect all marriage’s and strengthen our Imaan.
,,l....Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
I wish my future wife would be like these Muslim sister wallah
They are so close to earth and is truthful practicing islam and not wearing islam as a shirt.
I pray Allah give all the muslimiin such noble Muslim women that is behind you through bad and good and always accepts the directions of Allah without any personal issues involved and that makes a marriage stable and everyone knows their place in the family.
1 month ago ??😆
ameen
@@nitrogen4626 innit what the hell
😂okay, whatt
Everyone has personal issues, including you my dear brother. Please let’s have realistic outlooks in life.
Real talk MashaAllah
We all need to give technology and social media a break and regain Emotional intelligence
,l....Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
Yes very true. The attitude of gratitude is key. One issue I have is brothers abusing their role/power in marriage. There are many good women but sadly many men see that as a pass to do what they want regardless of right or wrong. Nice women are viewed as weak. It's as if men want a woman to have to get them in shape and to handle their affairs like their mothers. Obedient wives (which Allah orders us to be) are mistreated and exploited. Men seem to only respect aggressive women now which is a problem.
That is dreadful, subhanAllah! Something that needs to be addressed, for sure.
I've been listening to popular podcasts with a large male audience. Literally all complains are about agressive, combative women. And everyone seeking feminine, supportive wives.
Finally someone said it! My mother is so lovely and my dad abuses her 😣
I have seen many abuses in many communities. Any religion. But yes, the Muslim men need not jump on virgin brides like a dog. It turns their brides away from marriage and their husband. Then husbands go on vacation with their male friends leaving their wife at home. Glad my husband is not like those men.
Asc sisters
Great, we're listening intently. Please continue
Alhamdulilah, my marriage is great, even though my wife is absolutely nuts, I wouldn’t replace her for anything! 😂
I love this!
@@NaimaBRobertTV Im a single dad 41,If know any sisters who are looking to get married plz let me know.No harm in asking 😂
@@asavlogsalltruthrevealed7483 Would you be willing to come on a live show to find a good sister?
@@NaimaBRobertTV he isn't praising his wife
@@codingiscreativity smh
Keep up the great work
Thank you so much for this beautiful lecture ❤️
--ö--l--Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
The key is learning to become more submissive. Submissive to God first and foremost and then submissive to one another in the roles that have been set out by design, by nature. The man is the leader, the provider, the protector, and the woman is the supporter, the carer, the nurturer.
If we don’t take on our innate roles and support one another then it leads to problems. It’s teamwork. But the responsibility is greater on the man in some ways as he is the driver of the ship. If he steers it into darkness he takes everybody with him. If he abandons the wheel then the woman has no choice but to take over. But if she takes over the wheel then she has less time to maintain the ship. Ultimately the man has to master his role and the wife hers and we have to support one another in doing so. We have to look at each others strengths and be willing to work on our weaknesses, seeking help from one another where necessary.
Please address correctly. It is not the spouses who have to be submissive to each other, but the wife who has to be submissive to her husband. This means that she has to believe he is above her. He is better than you and he comes first and he is the head of the family. However, if a woman's ego is as big as a dinosaur, she can't do that.
Shukran for posting.
Masha’Allah
Very insightful and knowledgeable insights
Despite being a man,I definitely learned from this topic
Salam Na’ima, thank you so much for doing this important work for our Ummah, especially our sisters who unfortunately have been the biggest victims in this abhorrent societal shift. May Allah bless you and increase you and I pray that this message spreads far and wide across our Ummah.
ä###-------Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
JazakAllah khayrun for this.
Salam.
Jazakallah Khayr.
Barakallah Feeķu.
Shukran Jazeeleen.
Amazing! Jazakalahu hyran
I trully do not think Muslim men have low expectations....non Muslims?yeah....but Muslim men are generally speaking,cultural....
Maybe in the past they were, but now the men are moving away from culture. There is a rise in a large number of inter racial marriages as men don't really care about the ethnicity of the woman anymore.
Im not surprised Muslim men are marrying non Muslim girls. They are generally feminine, submissive, not too fussed if the man doesn't earn a lot of money and happy to split bills roughly 50-50.
However Modern Muslim women want have these huge list of requirements.
@@Jay-bc7kh we still use walies and the mosques involve themselves as well....I am European married to Pakistani..I'd know....my marriage didn't happen till my parents gave permission....
@@andreeaboloca4440 alhamdulliah that's a good thing. Good to see sisters who actually involve their parents and follow the Islamic process.
Too many girls nowadays are on this independent woman nonsense thinking they can vet a man all buy themselves. Sorry but you can't. Hence why they are unhappy in marriage and get divorced quick.
As salaamu’alaikum warahmatullah
(Responding immediately after the initial discussion) …The example of the ‘kitchen’ and confusion of roles was baffling. Men and women can (and should at least’try’) cook, and some may like or prefer it more than others - so the idea of designing the kitchen and having ‘what you want’ would make sense for a husband who is a chef, as she mentioned, so he would definitely want to have a say in the kitchen design etc. wasn’t sure her point there as she cut off and didn’t make herself clear. JezakAllahu khayr
Insightful Al hamdulillah Rabbil Alameen
Icredible. Jazakumallahu Khair'n.
Subhanallah you mentioned philosopher Ibrahim mazlo. Subhanallah.
Nice 👍 well said
I loved this talk so much. I would like to add my opinion about women outgrowing their good husbands. I think this is probably a societal issue. In most cases women’s freedom and autonomy in the community is not given to them and some never experience it until they get into a healthy marriage. You’re just finding out yourself, learning who you are and what you enjoy in your 30s/40s while your husband has lived life fully and is ready to settle down. The experiences are so different it’s almost impossible for both to want the same things during the same phase. But with awareness and empathy for one another any gap can be bridged
I dont disagree with u,but nowadays women have alot of freedom than how it was b4.Also a woman in her 40s shes done everything why does she stil want to go out with her friends go out eat everyweek n all that.Theres some who want to go holiday with friends after mariage 🤷♂️
We (Muslim women in Western)have to think twice for those who are promoting freedom for their marriage percentage, Subxaana Laah. They got all their desire out of Marriage including having kids.
@@asavlogsalltruthrevealed7483 a lot “more” freedom doesn’t equal having autonomy and feeling complete. There’s still a big gap. Being given legal rights means nothing if patriarchy is psychologically existing in all of our minds.
@@sadiamohamed15 it’s hard to want marriage when you start seeing things clearly for what they are these days. But personally I trust greatly in Allah and that helps me a lot
May Allah SWT grant us all understanding and ease ameen
21:21 onwards such good points with a relevant analogy!
جزاكم الله خيرا
JazakaAllahu kheir
cool dynamic between the two sisters. I enjoyed the conversation and the flow of topicss very much. Thank you for looking our for us younger, less experienced sisters. May Allah reward you both with abundant iman and stations so that more may be able to benefit from your wisdom and clear instructions. Jazakom allah khair!
-Ichraq.
--öö--ö--Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
Points here were communicated so eloquently mashallah. 🥰
Divorce is permitted in Islam, so is polygyny. The Muslim ummah would be better off if sisters not hesitating to divorce should also not hesitate to polygyny. The collective well-being of the Muslim ummah is far greater than the desires of each individual.
honestly I didn't feel the time when I watch such a great conversation on a significant topic May Allah bless you All Dear sisters
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مَسْلَمَةَ، عَنْ مَالِكٍ، عَنْ زَيْدِ بْنِ أَسْلَمَ، عَنْ عَطَاءِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " أُرِيتُ النَّارَ فَإِذَا أَكْثَرُ أَهْلِهَا النِّسَاءُ يَكْفُرْنَ ". قِيلَ أَيَكْفُرْنَ بِاللَّهِ قَالَ " يَكْفُرْنَ الْعَشِيرَ، وَيَكْفُرْنَ الإِحْسَانَ، لَوْ أَحْسَنْتَ إِلَى إِحْدَاهُنَّ الدَّهْرَ ثُمَّ رَأَتْ مِنْكَ شَيْئًا قَالَتْ مَا رَأَيْتُ مِنْكَ خَيْرًا قَطُّ ".
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 29
In-book reference : Book 2, Hadith 22
🤣 why did Mohammad hate women this much.
@@Al7amdulilah Beautiful hadith, Jazak Allahu Khayr!
Does this also apply for the man who is ungrateful for his wife?
آمین۔ Allah help us all. The advice from this channel is amazing.
Glad you think so!
Great video, question.
Is there a concern if one receives too much gratitude that they may believe that they are doing more than necessary and start slacking. Or that they may start to contemplate what the other person is doing and what he/she is bringing to the relationship as they believe they are doing so much but cant see the others efforts.
Another point I find is that many women will show gratitude to their husbands followed by more ingratitude behaviour which leaves the husband to question their sincerity and eventually become indifferent to any appreciation shown by the wife, even if its genuine.
Ma shaa Allah sisters, very insightful.❤️ I love this channel
ä.---Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
I think what the sister said about the kitchen being her place is a very cultural outlook. I don’t think the kitchen is anyones domain. Some men really enjoy cooking and do so and they are amazing cooks. It doesn’t belong to women. Maybe the issue was he didn’t let his wife choose the design. I think it’s both admirable and attractive when a man can cook.
If the man is working and the woman isn't. It naturally makes sense she cooks if she's at home. If they are both working equally for whatever reason the. It makes sense they both take part. Unless one enjoys it more than the other
Admirable and attractive? Oof so the man works the whole day then he puts on an apron and that's attractive? Idk the kitchen belongs to women due to them staying at home. He can come in from time to time for fun, but it's obviously the womans domain and I believe that not establishing these boundaries causes many issues in marriages
@@hmzzrg5045 both my friend’s and my sister’s husbands work full time and they cook as well. Not because they are forced to but because they actually enjoy it. Is it so hard to comprehend that men actually like to cook and do cook? Some couples even enjoy cooking together which I think is is even more sweet.
@@Mazzie2022 are they the norm?
@@hmzzrg5045 we are talking about cooking. What is abnormal about cooking? There are many many men who cook. I’m sorry if you find it so disturbing that a man actually cooks!
It makes so much sense
"The grass is green whereever you water it" - baaarrrrsss
Informative
The last scenario sister Na'ima mentioned. I second that as i am unfortunately that women. But it os not possible to follow your aspirations if the passions are very different....
Love it!
From a bloke's perspective, I must admit this is a fresh breath of air.🥇🏆🌹
Why man refuse to talk to wife altogether? Wants zero communication. What to do?
This was an excellent conversation!
--ä--..----Allah allows sxx with prepubescent girls 65 verse 4 czcams.com/video/OfYbUsNMlng/video.html
How about a spouse who doesn't want you to say Thank you when he buys something to you?
I thought the purpose of marriage was a place of peace
It was until I programmed his watch with the prayer times to help him be the best Muslim. 5am! What have you done??!!😂
الحمد لله حاضر وجزاكم الله خيرا
sis talk about this
how to identify abuse in marriage Islamic perspective plz share?
I feel the ungrateful comes from a place from not enough suffering! if you suffered severely you'd be grateful!
Most men are simple and straight forward creature
,but we are lacking in the togetherness "cultivation"- that we never do feel the need to try- because their is a mental note that we are in a marriage and nothing more is needed like he is my best bud,so he will alway have my back regardless the effort I do.
We should emphasize the other gender perspective too.
The fact that this has 1.6k likes-- saddens me
Excellent video sisters Mashallah.
😒
The live got cut off
Great interview as usual; it would be superb sister if you could have an interview with Ustadh Hamza Tzortzis the founder & CEO of Sapience Institute (the best Islamic educational institution in my humble opinion) ... specifically on the topic of "dealing with doubts".
Sapience institute is not a salafi institute therefore don’t listen to them
@@th-bo6fu I am a salafi and I always get back to our senior scholarsto the topics that deals with anything that is related to the matters of Aqeeda (Tawheed, asmaa wa al seefat ... etc), but what Sapience Institute deal with is secular & liberal strikes on the Deen... and they have some good content that can be utilized within this realm to defend the deen; do they have mistakes?! ... yes, they do ... let us take what is correct and abandon the wrong and also make personal private nasseha if possible.
@@nf7849 it’s clear to that you have opposed the methodology of the salaf in your saying “let’s take the good and forget the bad” this is actually the motto of the ikwanul muslimeen a deviated sect. The prophet said whoever does an action that is not from our affair, it will be rejected. Salafis separate the truth from falsehood and are yon clarity
@@th-bo6fu I prefer not to keep arguing since there is no point in me clarifying to you my position or vice-versa; I ask Allah (SWT) to gather both of us in Jannahat al ferdos and right then Allah will reveal to both of us who was closer to the haq.
Jazak Allah kayran🌸
Mansha Allah tabarikalah jizakalahu kharan sisters
When a woman wakes up... The man becomes a supporter the children become peaceful. Women face alot of challenges all sorts of them. And allah the almighty is enough... For me.. He hears me.
Baby mmm come here
5 minutes in and I subscribed
I enjoyed listening to this
Bismillah pray for me to get over ocd and sins
thx
What is ocd?!
On one hand you are saying there's a confusion of roles and I wouldn't want my husband to interfere with my kitchen design as that's my domain (women are not tied to the kitchen sister!) And on the other hand you are saying a companion is there to share the load, so why don't you be clearer in what the roles actually are for men and women as from what you're saying they should be shared. What should be Shared then exactly ? That sounds a bit confusing by your own definition. Unless you are used to addressing the same brain numb sisters you do sort of sound like you are playing back the same record. You're just repeating what you said in your last discussion. Gratitude is two way..not one way..so a husband should be just as grateful for his wife doing a lot of the labour in or out the home.I doubt the 20 years of experience umm talha esp without looking at your own marriage experience. Looking at your background you practically have little experience of a busy pressured household as you don't have kids to raise, you run your own business that you've sort of mixed with dawah....you practically live as a western woman who wears the trousers quite obviously as I can't imagine your husband not raising an eye brow to some of what you are saying!. Sister Naima has made some well informed points that you havnt quite grasped. Couples don't split because they have different tastes in salad..they loose focus on a joint aim, their expectations can change, they have external factors..they get tired and old and people are affected by shaytan too. I've seen this in my work with women.
I agree with the points you have made. The argument presented did not seem to align to the current situations in marriage. The kitchen advise did not sit well with me either. In current muslim marriages husbands are not putting in the amount of time and energy wives have been doing for the longest. I think we have come to the realization that these "roles" are unbalanced. Even if a wife works the majority of the tasks fall on her lap. Where is this sharing of the load and being a helpful partner? Where is the prophetic example for families? Why are men not adjusting to the current reality of running a household? There are so many nuances that are being overlooked in this discussion. The state of muslim marriages are in shambles and I don't think the solution is telling wives to be more grateful nor is it ascribing to blind "roles" with no consideration on what fits best for your lifestyle.
i agree with you. but i assumed she meant that the roles are clear from quran (man as qawam (provider) and woman as supportive companion) ultimately being each other’s peace & support. and as she said the details can be negotiated. the sunnah is clear on both participating in housework and child raising. she was probably just talking about herself when she mentioned the kitchen stuff? (hopefully or else yeah it’s not islamic based that womens domain is kitchen lol)
The lack of accountability with some sisters in the comments. Trying to shift the blame onto the men. Very common in many women nowadays. May Allah guide them
Masha Allah
This is how Ninja would look like if they were planning an assassination using Skype 😂😂
Ustadha Na'ima, may I suggest that you speak to Imam Shadeed Muhammad of Delaware about his book, "Blended Families?
Despite step-parenting being common, there is a dearth of resources devoted to the subject offering divine guidance on the matter.
Let me also advise that you speak with Sheikh Amer Jamil of Glasgow. He specialises in marriage matters too, before and after. He is also doing an LLB in family law.
Abu Dawood (2140) and al-Haakim (2763) narrated that Qays ibn Sa‘d (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I went to al-Heerah and saw them prostrating to a noble of theirs (i.e., a courageous knight who was prominent among them). I thought: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is more deserving that people should prostrate to him. So I came to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: I went to al-Heerah and saw them prostrating to a noble of theirs, but you are the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and are more deserving that people should prostrate to you. He said: “Do not do that. If I were to instruct anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would have instructed women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that Allah has given them over them.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, and adh-Dhahabi agreed with him. Also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Please do a talk on looks. It is a subject thats being talked about a lot right now. Do women really focus on how handsome a guy is? Is this even islamic? Not everyone has great looks like you see in male models. But still sisters want a guy like that. This is becoming too much of a thing nowadays.
Mashallah
I didn't see this tv episode, which may be why I do not understand Umm Talha's comments about roles. But she is clearly very emotionally intelligent so perhaps she can explain. Surely in any marriage in any religion, roles should complement and the details, can, as you say, be worked out in love and kindness? This IS what makes the marriage vow worth sticking with. In your chef example, it is easy: it depends firstly on who WANTs to cook. Then, who is the BEST cook. Personally, I dislike childcare before 700 am, I am not a morning person, for me I like the bedtime story. For some men, it is the opposite, are early birds. What we need to ensure, especially where both partners are working is tht we share the shit stuff equally! With cooking, we both like it but neither likes to wash up so we pay for a cleaner and a dishwasher! On a road trip usually neither wants to drive at night so you have to split it fairly. To me, this is what it means to be kind, and grateful partner ITRW. Unless its a husband whose net worth is so high he can just pay ppl to all the shit stuff (and it seems to me there is always admin you cannot outsource) you have to pick someone who is willing to be fair.
no, some things shouldn't be shared equally. thats a recipe for failure
The TV show is called HGTV if I'm.not mistaken
Exactly!
Alhumdulillah this is a great outlook.
My husband has said he wants another wife. I'm finding this very hard. Do you have any advise please.
what are his reasons?
@@maybluebird9798 because he can have 4 wife and wants more kids
@@vickimonaghan5225 Is he even in a good enough financial position for this?
@@vickimonaghan5225 There are rules around polygamy, if he can't afford to support multiple households then he's not allowed to have multiple wives
@@maybluebird9798 thanks for this. A testing time.
Sister Ruzi says there is lack of commitment, before divorce was taboo, now it's the opposite. Straighten priorities & don't mix roles!
Sister Ruzi takes pride in kitchen.
Different roles and lack of clarity is chaos (Sajid's planes aren't cars analogies)
We all have different land, language culture etc.
Marriage is to help us worship Allah, & be companion, share work & growth!
Man & bint are to compliment & not clash!
10 :00 -
sister Naima says they underestimate value of husband, esp. father of their children.
(this reminds me of the hadith where nisa say there is no good in you, like a kariji to her ruler)
sister Ruzi reminds Nisa who complain to her about her husband of the things he does as the hadith says be grateful.
she brings up hadith she who doesn't give thanks to people hasn't thanked Allah!
Some arrogant nisa say why should I be grateful, it's his job, lack humility.
Ruzi says if your partner or friend notice your work, isn't it encouraging.
Quran says if you are grateful Allah will give you more.
Ruzi says Jazak Allahu Khayr to her family alot and says don't act entitled!
20 :00 -
Ruzi Delegates tasks and is appreciated, academically & tele tech switches on and off, but ppl don't know how to deal with people, there is emotional intelligence.
Social media can create a fake image.
In hadith we are to look to those with lesser in dunya to be grateful, and in din look at those who have more to strive.
Grass isn't greener on the other side, grass is green where you water it!
Some try to blame money, in laws or lack of time - these can be solved.
before separating physically they do mentally.
mid life crisis? - Prophet peace and blessings be upon him became a prophet at age 40 - 63, this is time to final sprint, having a good ending is a sign of beginning og a good beginning of akira!
Prophet peace and blessings be upon him encouraged young sahaba, like ibn Abbas, in long hadith be mindful of Allah you will find Allah in front of you.
Some sisters says I he feels like a roommate.
30 :00 -
Nisa wants more, husband is good and I outgrown and want to do new things.
Ruzi says you can categorize your life and can do things w/o the spouse. some times you will be different, nothing wrong. If you don't talk together, or do things then you will fall apart.
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Those who lead to good get a share in reward, encouraging your spouse to be good to you is encouraging worship, you can be taken care of and get good deeds if you encourage right way similar to you caring for your spouse and this is encouraging worship too insha Allah!
I am proud to Muslim
Neyma how are you
women need to get allowance for cooking and cleaning and raising the ki
😇
I was a bit taken a back hearing that one of the wife's role is to cook. Is this islamic? I think it's more of a social role than islamic. Obviously I understand back in the day husband would work and be the breadwinner and wife has reposnsibilities in the house. But this day and age is totally changed and husband and wife both have to work in order to afford to live right. Please give me some clarity in what you meant sister. JazakAllah
I think both should be able to cook, it's useful specially if one of partners is sick. The kids need to eat still lol. But I think she's speaking in terms of how a man feels when his beautiful muslima wife cooks for him good food that he can brag about to his fellow men. Only a man knows how good it feels when his woman feeds him well. It's about the same as when a husband does his best to provide and spend on his wife. She feels good.
The Quran itself suggests that the woman’s role is to stay at home. The woman’s role is to maintain, to caretake. By nature her strengths are to support, to nurture, to care. Whereas the man is the leader, the provider, the protector. Yes the roles are changing but it goes against the grain and the roles set within the Quran. Which only causes conflict.
@@Breadwinners it may have changed a little yes, because women can now work in comfortable office spaces which does not require stressful physical labor. But that doesn't mean they still can't be feminine and nurturing. I think the problem is the man's role has stayed the same, but the woman's role has changed because she's spending time away from husband to make money which she's not expected to spend on him... So he gets less attention and care from her while still expected to provide for her and protect.
Sometimes my husband cooks if I am tired and don’t want to go out to eat. But he’s a routine type person. I know when he gets back from work he wants dinner from his mother’s recipes and sex. It’s predictable as the sunrise!🇺🇸🇸🇦🤷🏻♀️
Divine gender roles for men and women are given. For men, their leadership responsibilities are set in religion. For women, their childbearing responsibilities are set biologically. BOTH are God - given
I try to show gratitude as much as possible. Our problem is his infidelity and him using Islam to justify it. His acts has also contributed to health issues. Yes, I do feel as if we’re just roommates at this point. He leaves home to spend time with another woman, who isn’t his wife.
In Islam we are taught " The pure are for the pure and the impure are for the impure" Adultery is a major sin.
@@rajah7855 I know and agree! I’ve shared this with him as well.
@HILty Salaf Shukran
I’m definitely on a journey to continue to strengthen my relationship with Allah (SWT). Your words are welcomed.
@@egordn3 weigh the oros and cons of being in this marriage, if the cons outweigh the pros you should then walk out with dignity. He does not deserve you but if the pros outweigh then i ask Allaah to guidr him and make him coolness of your eyes
I, as a man, can say I appreciate both of you. However, you women always talk about how a marriage should work from your perspective. I feel like it always goes like this: He must invest, invest, invest. If it's not money, it's time, then attention, empathy, etc. Sisters, you really need to learn to listen, not to each other, but to men. Finally accept men for what they are. Your leaders.
@SHNEAKO
@SNEAKO DonKing Your thinking what I'm thinking . pt3 debate