Does Tito Ortiz PROVE That CTE Is Funny? I'm Dying Of Laughter!

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  • čas přidán 14. 06. 2024
  • There is a negative narrative when it comes to CTE in MMA. Is it time to start finding it funny instead? Tito Ortiz is on a mission to help. This is my reaction to the channel Pantheon Level Cluelessness who had so funny Tito clips, let me know what you guys think in the comments section down below.
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Komentáře • 2,4K

  • @the-mma-guru
    @the-mma-guru  Před 8 měsíci +913

    We really need to change the narrative on CTE being all doom and gloom. Tito Ortiz is helping us lead the charge.

    • @Real_uMMActually
      @Real_uMMActually Před 8 měsíci +16

      Just went for a night run on the levy. Saw a massive rod-shaped green light appear to my right in the distance, then disappear and I couldn’t see the source. Scared shitless. Ran to my car and drove home. Here I am calming down, thx Guru 😭

    • @wingsofheartproblems6400
      @wingsofheartproblems6400 Před 8 měsíci +3

      CTE, are you getting paid by the UFC now?!?!
      Have you not seen the compilation of Tito. It's FUNNY AF 😂😂😂

    • @WhiteAngel888
      @WhiteAngel888 Před 8 měsíci +28

      CTE is never funny

    • @Bluis5445
      @Bluis5445 Před 8 měsíci +11

      You have a very large forehead. You have the Vegeta hairline.

    • @sweetpeagrayble5858
      @sweetpeagrayble5858 Před 8 měsíci +1

      An important issue, to be sure, but how is everybody's o-ring after watching this?

  • @davekushner5340
    @davekushner5340 Před 8 měsíci +2356

    I’m laying in bed laughing so hard but so quietly, my wife just woke up scared because she thought I was having a seizure.

    • @jackreacher2095
      @jackreacher2095 Před 8 měsíci +105

      Must of been on that kush you are named
      after 😂

    • @shadyganley8877
      @shadyganley8877 Před 8 měsíci +26

      ​@@jackreacher2095kush 😂😂😂

    • @Itscomplicatedaf24
      @Itscomplicatedaf24 Před 8 měsíci +39

      That G force clip made me laugh so damn hard 🤣🤣🤣

    • @songpizzas5422
      @songpizzas5422 Před 8 měsíci +11

      This comment made me lmao. 👏

    • @Sergatx
      @Sergatx Před 8 měsíci +5

      Holy. I’m doing the same 😂

  • @TheAnimefool
    @TheAnimefool Před 8 měsíci +1257

    The idea of titos sentence being so disconnected that it causes Chuck to think he’s having a cte moment himself is hilarious

    • @richarddixon1450
      @richarddixon1450 Před 8 měsíci +41

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @loopvil369
      @loopvil369 Před 7 měsíci +14

      it really is

    • @Karl_Drogo55
      @Karl_Drogo55 Před 7 měsíci +19

      holy shit im crackin up at this

    • @andymcevoy3109
      @andymcevoy3109 Před 5 měsíci +8

      I’m literally in stitches at this hahahah

    • @pauleleven6658
      @pauleleven6658 Před 5 měsíci +6

      i will never forget the look on chucks face at that moment

  • @kingk3245
    @kingk3245 Před 8 měsíci +178

    As a professional chef for 20 years. Watching him cut that onion was the funniest shit I've seen in like a really long time lol.

    • @beautifulstrongman
      @beautifulstrongman Před 4 měsíci +8

      He's one for ya. Buddy comes on line the other day, during lunch rush, and asks "Hey, where's the ham for the hamburgers?". This is after disappearing into the walk-in for like 4 min.

    • @rockyevans1584
      @rockyevans1584 Před 4 měsíci

      ​@beautifulstrongman lame joke maybe? Or stoned out of his tree? Or just dumb af? Lol

    • @E-A-Z-Y
      @E-A-Z-Y Před 2 měsíci +1

      Absolutely diabolical

    • @kingk3245
      @kingk3245 Před 2 měsíci +4

      @@beautifulstrongman How did I miss this for 2 months lol. Your guys didn’t send him to dry storage for a can of steam did ya ? Had a guy I was training on fry ask me why the oil wasn’t boiling if it’s at 350 degrees… bring me the robots please.

    • @MK-hw2ir
      @MK-hw2ir Před měsícem

      @@beautifulstrongmanwhat is CTE?

  • @L8-APEX
    @L8-APEX Před 4 měsíci +91

    Tito's dialog is described best by this Michael Scott quote "Sometimes I start a sentence and I have no idea where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way" 😂😂😂

  • @ifgwelf
    @ifgwelf Před 8 měsíci +653

    The look of utmost confidence on Titos face as he's about to deliver the cheese and wine promo, and you can see his brain malfunctioning as it's computing the sentence coming out.

    • @flameguy3416
      @flameguy3416 Před 8 měsíci +37

      You're just reaching for those 🍇...

    • @rylanlittle261
      @rylanlittle261 Před 8 měsíci

      Lol

    • @Romanus-
      @Romanus- Před 8 měsíci +13

      It’s like watching someone do algebra but with the English language. He literally is trying to compute actual speech and is incapable of completing the process

    • @harrydavey9884
      @harrydavey9884 Před měsícem

      His brain is an engine running on Vegemite.

  • @b-nice-and-ez
    @b-nice-and-ez Před 8 měsíci +746

    It's an actual form of art to completely destroy a sentence like Tito ortiz. I'd buy every paperview if ortiz was a commentator

  • @MainStreamRegimeDemocrats
    @MainStreamRegimeDemocrats Před 7 měsíci +24

    "ULTIMATE Sacrifice minimal reward" had me crying, guru churns out this banger of a line after watching this insanely hilarious video

  • @shane7103
    @shane7103 Před 6 měsíci +22

    Its an absolute rollercoaster listening to Tito talk. He should do his own podcast

  • @datcrazywhiteboy6205
    @datcrazywhiteboy6205 Před 8 měsíci +328

    "To all my fans ive never let you down until now" Tito Ortiz

  • @Mitch189022
    @Mitch189022 Před 8 měsíci +447

    Brendan Schaub is proof that CTE isn’t always funny

    • @ezradaiquiri11311
      @ezradaiquiri11311 Před 8 měsíci +22

      🤣💯

    • @heavensubculture
      @heavensubculture Před 8 měsíci +32

      Idk I think Brendan schaub is funny af not as a comedian but as a cte virtuoso he’s crazy funny

    • @ezradaiquiri11311
      @ezradaiquiri11311 Před 8 měsíci +1

      @heavensubculture he's so annoying. And I hate how he says, man. Like yeah maan that's so annoying, maaann...🤦. Besides, him and rogan threw eddie bravo under the bus about flat earth all the time, even though Joe knows for a fact we've never been to the moon and all the pictures are fake. It's so stupid.

    • @drewdrewson1384
      @drewdrewson1384 Před 8 měsíci +6

      the gringo poppy and his first spooshel are both masterpieces in the same way the room is

    • @Fr6
      @Fr6 Před 8 měsíci +2

      ​@@drewdrewson1384Drew, you're definitely a spooshel guy.

  • @pill1154
    @pill1154 Před 4 měsíci +18

    God i cant stop coming back to this video, tito side eyeing chandler is so fucking hilarious

  • @SwampOperator
    @SwampOperator Před 4 měsíci +7

    Lol chuck lookin around at everyone to make sure it wasnt his cte kicking in

  • @Jeremy-th5pt
    @Jeremy-th5pt Před 8 měsíci +181

    "I train 6 days a week, 5 days a week, I'll train 3 days a week, ONE OF THOSE DAYS I'LL TRAIN 2 DAYS A WEEK" LOL.😂

    • @macabre19
      @macabre19 Před 4 měsíci

      😂

    • @sweetswing1
      @sweetswing1 Před 3 měsíci

      You're a punk dude

    • @aresjerry
      @aresjerry Před 3 měsíci +13

      Translation: he trains 6 days a week. 3 times a day, for 5 days. And twice, on one day before his rest day. 😂😅

  • @KingC89
    @KingC89 Před 8 měsíci +726

    Every parent secretly wants to outlive their children. Tito was just brave enough to say it out loud.

    • @waltertupou
      @waltertupou Před 8 měsíci +43

      😂😂😂

    • @ofon2000
      @ofon2000 Před 8 měsíci

      look up how Tito said something like, "...and of COURSE I wanna outlive my children"@@ominousbagel512

    • @nervouspanic5286
      @nervouspanic5286 Před 8 měsíci +27

      ​@ominousbagel512 he's basically saying no one wants to die and titos the only one to admit it

    • @hanz1491
      @hanz1491 Před 8 měsíci +105

      @@nervouspanic5286people don’t want to die, sure, but I’m pretty sure the worse thing that could happen to any decent parent is to outlive their child. I don’t think most people want to live through some shit like that.

    • @EireannSpeaks
      @EireannSpeaks Před 8 měsíci +3

      @@ominousbagel512
      My god man you're a dopey fella.
      The chronicles of Tito have been going on since the early 2000s when did you start watching the sport?

  • @T9K66
    @T9K66 Před 6 měsíci +15

    It’s been tough times but this is definitely the hardest I have laughed in a while. Thanks for curating these videos.

  • @burdy707
    @burdy707 Před 2 měsíci +10

    i’ve seen that g force clip so many times and i’ve never once realised it was tito and now im laughing even harder

  • @joshlife6395
    @joshlife6395 Před 8 měsíci +438

    The onion scene, the cutting, the blood, and the fact he just continues, ignoring the fact he actually cut himself and is bleeding all over the family dinner- had me crying tears of laughter. Thanks guru, that was special.

    • @Scheboygan8767
      @Scheboygan8767 Před 7 měsíci +22

      I’ve never laughed harder at something on CZcams ever, he just kept going 😭

    • @esewey1686
      @esewey1686 Před 7 měsíci +20

      As a chef I know for sure Tito’s finger was stinging like a mf and tiro was trying so hard to play it off

    • @jakemitchell1671
      @jakemitchell1671 Před 7 měsíci +11

      @@esewey1686 LOL! Was it a live stream? If not, surely someone watched it back and had to see the blood on the onion? Why was that just disregarded?? Hahaha....God I laughed until I cried. As a chef, you know his final push absolutely was NOT "good form." It was horrible! And while his choice of knife (machete? lol) wasn't the worst, an 8-10" chef's knife would do SO much better.

    • @potatoman57
      @potatoman57 Před 7 měsíci +4

      @@esewey1686seriously why couldn’t he just re-take the video? Instead just decided to push through the pain?

    • @esewey1686
      @esewey1686 Před 7 měsíci +2

      @@potatoman57 nah seriously 💀💀💀i can’t help but cringe so hard watching this video it’s hilarious. Why did he even upload it in the first place????

  • @luiz9672
    @luiz9672 Před 8 měsíci +328

    We need a person like Tito in the community to make us laugh

    • @joeybplasticrehab5578
      @joeybplasticrehab5578 Před 8 měsíci +10

      Bet he’s awesome at scrabble 🤫

    • @jonnhyappleseed7498
      @jonnhyappleseed7498 Před 8 měsíci

      Scrabble is to complex... its about that bingo life

    • @jimberry5318
      @jimberry5318 Před 8 měsíci +3

      Your looking at a lightskinned gorilla.......
      People think I'm African American - tito

    • @Bickle121
      @Bickle121 Před 8 měsíci +6

      “I’m here guys, I will always let you down guys”

  • @k.c.r.5974
    @k.c.r.5974 Před 7 měsíci +14

    This video took a turn for the worse when you got to the g force simulator and paused it on his face like that. I was semi amused up until that point because ive seen all these but once that part of the video hits I was dying laughing...and it just goes down hill from there my stomach hurts from laughing so hard

  • @schmiticus1
    @schmiticus1 Před 3 měsíci +8

    Rewatching this. Just what I needed thanks Tito.

  • @paytonmatthews5984
    @paytonmatthews5984 Před 8 měsíci +394

    Nah the “Tito holds the light bulb and somebody underneath him twists Tito” has me cryinggg 🤣🤣🤣

  • @maxkelly6664
    @maxkelly6664 Před 8 měsíci +260

    “I wanna outlive my children” Tito Ortiz

  • @Tonysopranoyafinook
    @Tonysopranoyafinook Před 7 měsíci +2

    So glad guru found this channel. Ive been following it for a while now but still come back to this video because its such a hilarious reaction

  • @893trent
    @893trent Před 7 měsíci +29

    Deadass tried to challenge myself on the public bus and couldn't get past 5 minutes without cracking up 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @bryanciacco4181
    @bryanciacco4181 Před 8 měsíci +147

    "You fans tune in, I've never let you down till now.... I won't start!" Is the best Tito quote of all time

    • @HugoStiglitz88
      @HugoStiglitz88 Před 4 měsíci +7

      Totally agreed. It's funny on so many levels 🤣

    • @happentodie8776
      @happentodie8776 Před 4 měsíci +6

      I'm laughing just reading that 😅 brilliant

  • @heisenb3rg
    @heisenb3rg Před 8 měsíci +107

    “You fans tune in. I never let you down until now.. I won’t start”😭😂😂

  • @Jimboslice35
    @Jimboslice35 Před měsícem +2

    I nearly died several times watching this 😂

  • @anthonyhewitt9397
    @anthonyhewitt9397 Před 3 měsíci +6

    😂 the title of this video

  • @FFS33
    @FFS33 Před 8 měsíci +65

    Tito is playing 5D chess, he's just throwing words at us expecting us to put them in order,absolute Chad.

    • @insuchaway
      @insuchaway Před 5 měsíci +7

      This unique observation is a 10-7 comment.

    • @henrii2357
      @henrii2357 Před 5 měsíci +11

      He’s playing chest

    • @k.c.r.5974
      @k.c.r.5974 Před 4 měsíci

      5D chest...get it right you juicy juice boy

    • @HugoStiglitz88
      @HugoStiglitz88 Před 4 měsíci +1

      He's also making us pay attention to him by acting dumb when he really isn't. This is how he stays relevant. 200 iq strategy

    • @cod2573
      @cod2573 Před 4 měsíci +6

      "Never let the enemy know your next word"

  • @spicysauce6533
    @spicysauce6533 Před 8 měsíci +100

    Tito Ortiz is a content machine. Such a great meme that man is.

  • @KT-cz7rm
    @KT-cz7rm Před 7 měsíci +1

    I used to catch guru highlights here and there, but since I've heard his story, and started watching full videos, I'm a big fan. Especially with hilarious shit like this.

  • @danielduncan6370
    @danielduncan6370 Před dnem +1

    Anytime I need a light I watch Tito videos. The only thing that can make me consistently laugh out loud

  • @kodokami7
    @kodokami7 Před 8 měsíci +128

    MMA Guru + Tito Oritz = Comedic Gold. One of the funniest video from Guru. Love to see more content like this, something outside of UFC related

  • @the1abstrakt
    @the1abstrakt Před 8 měsíci +209

    The way Tito morphed into Wanderlei at 7:27 was fantastic. Truly a talent

    • @nakternal
      @nakternal Před 7 měsíci +7

      😂😂😂😂I thought that who it was in the thumbnail

    • @Shoegazebasedgenre0.
      @Shoegazebasedgenre0. Před 5 měsíci

      what the fuck is Tito doing? looks scary

    • @Mumpty-of8je
      @Mumpty-of8je Před 4 měsíci

      It's just a simulation of the speeds a lot of jets go and the forces they put on a person. Not dangerous for the brain long term, it's kinda like being put in a choke temporarily.@@Shoegazebasedgenre0.

    • @bebop4874
      @bebop4874 Před 4 měsíci +3

      Damn good comment

    • @deeznutz8320
      @deeznutz8320 Před 3 měsíci +2

      ​@@Shoegazebasedgenre0.Its a G force machine

  • @NotKD35
    @NotKD35 Před měsícem +6

    The fact he posted that onion cutting tutorial after he cut himself is hilarious and insane

  • @AlfiekennedyMMA
    @AlfiekennedyMMA Před měsícem +1

    These videos are timeless, you’re giving me endless laughs here mate. I love it 🙏🏽keep doing you bro

  • @BestPropTutorials
    @BestPropTutorials Před 8 měsíci +172

    I don’t usually laugh very easily but I laughed so hard out loud watching these😂

  • @basedsoyboy7293
    @basedsoyboy7293 Před 8 měsíci +43

    CTE is the best base for comedy

  • @SMK--
    @SMK-- Před měsícem +1

    This video is timeless guru. Tears in my eyes every time i rewatch this 😂😂😂

  • @db4552
    @db4552 Před 4 měsíci +3

    My favourite Tito quote:
    "You live and you learn, then hopefully you forget"

  • @ultimatecontactsports
    @ultimatecontactsports Před 8 měsíci +147

    Tears running down my face, great way to start my Saturday right here! Who knew Tito would become such a MMA treasure in his later years!😂

  • @billylongmont3438
    @billylongmont3438 Před 8 měsíci +5

    You're an absolute riot bro 😂 got my sub, keep laughing please

  • @joennejordbaer
    @joennejordbaer Před 5 měsíci

    This is seriously funny! Thank you for bringing these moments to us.

  • @LucasR013
    @LucasR013 Před 8 měsíci +44

    “I want to out live the MMA guru” -Tito Ortiz

    • @XplicitTruth444
      @XplicitTruth444 Před 8 měsíci +1

      i mean the dude is as obese as they come so that wont be hard to achieve lol

    • @thatindiandude4602
      @thatindiandude4602 Před 8 měsíci +11

      Looking at the BMI not a hard achievement IMO.

  • @Saygoodnightfight
    @Saygoodnightfight Před 8 měsíci +242

    I’m proud of Tito for having so much CTE that he gets KO’d by gravity itself. Not many people can achieve goals as high as those

    • @XplicitTruth444
      @XplicitTruth444 Před 8 měsíci

      i mean... you could fall down and hit your head and get knocked out lol boom gravity... do you "people" even think before you speak? fuck.. FUUUCKKK.

    • @Eventual-Visitor
      @Eventual-Visitor Před 8 měsíci +18

      He went to 9G's which means almost everybody would've lost conscience. Actually he recovered almost instantly, most people would take a bit longer.

    • @GrandpasRevenge43
      @GrandpasRevenge43 Před 8 měsíci +10

      Tell me you don't understand G-force without telling me you don't understand G-force lol

    • @hiraether6209
      @hiraether6209 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Can't get KO'd by something that doesn't exist ;)

    • @abaddon130
      @abaddon130 Před 7 měsíci

      ​@@hiraether6209bro is brain dead :0

  • @reesthomson4340
    @reesthomson4340 Před 4 měsíci +2

    One of your funniest reactions always come back every so often for a belly bursting !

  • @jaykwonzzz
    @jaykwonzzz Před 8 měsíci +6

    Tito is like those old AI images, where the nose, ears, and mouth were all present but all in the wrong place.

  • @TayKhaiYi
    @TayKhaiYi Před 8 měsíci +52

    One of my favourite UFC moment of all time is Ken Shamrock saying I'm going to beat you to the living death to Tito Ortiz

    • @alexbrooker6922
      @alexbrooker6922 Před 8 měsíci +1

      😡

    • @Benjamin-1776-
      @Benjamin-1776- Před 8 měsíci +11

      LMAO, same. The whole clip is awesome with Tito's perfectly timed laugh, Dana trying and failing to contain his own laughter, the possessed chair, and of course the spectacle that is borderline retardation level IQ combined with Shamrock's CTE and having less than zero points put into charisma it is all just amazing. Off to go watch it again it never disappoints.

  • @joanneee1037
    @joanneee1037 Před 8 měsíci +28

    Theres this 1 clip of him training where he said his training philosophy is, "Go hard and go home". I bursted out lauging when he said that lol

  • @robmerritt1982
    @robmerritt1982 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Man! I jus woke up n turned on CZcams n this was in my recommended videos. Im still kinda out of it n in laying here in tears laughing so hard! Tito definitely proved cte is funny! Thanks for this!

  • @oxydra1916
    @oxydra1916 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Thanks for this video, never laughs this hard in years deadass, thank u

  • @chadwicklite
    @chadwicklite Před 8 měsíci +51

    Watching the Guru laugh just makes my day🤣

  • @ConorMcRocketFuel
    @ConorMcRocketFuel Před 8 měsíci +19

    03:24 gotta love Chuck frantically looking around "is anyone else hearing this guy or is it just me?"

    • @danielstrother2494
      @danielstrother2494 Před 3 měsíci +1

      I can’t stop laughing over that. He thought he lost time again and missed a bunch of the conversation. It’s exactly like when I fake throw the ball to my wiener dog. 😂😂😂

  • @fergytonuson2723
    @fergytonuson2723 Před 20 dny +1

    God damn I needed that laugh! Number is just an age! 💪🤣

  • @grimeztwoeleven
    @grimeztwoeleven Před 4 hodinami +2

    seeing you being so enthused of tito being an idiot is contagious i can't stop laughing shit is hilarious

  • @BrandonPTravels
    @BrandonPTravels Před 8 měsíci +63

    The blood on the onion actually made me verbally laugh😂😂😂😂

    • @Cp_9900
      @Cp_9900 Před 8 měsíci +17

      I think you just mean laugh

    • @BARBARYAN.
      @BARBARYAN. Před 5 měsíci +1

      Bro it covered the onion I lost it

    • @GhastlyCretin
      @GhastlyCretin Před 4 měsíci +5

      This is exactly like something Tito himself would say. Amazing.

    • @BrandonPTravels
      @BrandonPTravels Před 4 měsíci

      @@GhastlyCretin fuck 😂

    • @dyyylllaannn
      @dyyylllaannn Před 3 měsíci +2

      i think you mean audibly

  • @chriss2948
    @chriss2948 Před 8 měsíci +57

    I was never a real Tito fan, and then I saw him on Tuf against Shamrock.
    My view of him changed completely. I will still argue that he is one of Tuf's best coaches. He was fantastic with his fighters.
    He has never been able to speak, but he still has my respect after that performance.

    • @Mox1990
      @Mox1990 Před 5 měsíci +15

      he outspoke shamrock during that season and made him look like Tito looks to us. There are levels to CTE

    • @KyePietras-pi9lx
      @KyePietras-pi9lx Před 4 měsíci

      Yeah great coach
      Also shamrock getting schooled by Tito like wtf 🤣

  • @Jimmywoodstock
    @Jimmywoodstock Před dnem +1

    I'm in actual tears lol. He gets me every time.

  • @brianhildreth9099
    @brianhildreth9099 Před 5 měsíci

    I haven't laughed this hard in a LONG time. Thank you brother!!!

  • @JohnSigz
    @JohnSigz Před 8 měsíci +40

    My favorite is the one with his fight in the fall but he says it yeah it’ll be in April and he starts training for it in July 😂☠️

  • @designingtheenemy5869
    @designingtheenemy5869 Před 8 měsíci +39

    I think Tito is always in that "be/say motivational stuff all the time" mindset and that he's literally speaking whole sentences without thinking what he's saying lol. Cte definitely is a factor but some people really are just dopey too. That combined and you get Tito lol. One of the cooler more coherent things he's said was that cheap Jackal story and chael instantly ruined it for him by talking about his pstar baby mama.

  • @ccb6013
    @ccb6013 Před 3 měsíci +4

    Over explaining the joke before it happens really makes it funnier. Wonderful contribution.

    • @johnathanrush4666
      @johnathanrush4666 Před měsícem

      As was this comment. Wonderful contribution. Definitely not being a giant pissbaby.

    • @nohandskiller8912
      @nohandskiller8912 Před 25 dny

      @@johnathanrush4666as was this comment... wonderful contribution

  • @thekinghash
    @thekinghash Před 7 měsíci +5

    He was trying to dice the onions but the blood soaked into it killed me 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @skewsto
    @skewsto Před 8 měsíci +73

    I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time 😂

  • @Realaccount2008
    @Realaccount2008 Před 8 měsíci +44

    Tito breaking new ground in the g-force machine, non-contact CTE
    edit: holy fuck that lightbulb joke lmao

    • @Elimstjohn
      @Elimstjohn Před 8 měsíci +5

      Bro I can't stop rethinking about it and laughing so hard that I cry.

  • @josephsmiley3rd
    @josephsmiley3rd Před 25 dny +1

    Showed up again in my recommended tab so I’m watching again for the forth time laughing my ass off 😂

  • @zvsmith2008
    @zvsmith2008 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Tito don’t have CTE …😂😂😂😂 He has S-T-U-P-I-D…. That a lifetime afflication😂😂😂😂

  • @lawrencehackett6479
    @lawrencehackett6479 Před 8 měsíci +104

    Was having a super normal night, until I went downstairs to quietly get me a bowl of cereal without waking anybody up.. started watching this video & 5 minutes later I'm covered head to toe in milk/captain crunch because I laughed so hard mid bite I choked, tried to panick wrestle the bowl to the counter without dropping it, didn't. Bowl hits the ground. Everybody woke up. The visual is me covered in milk, uncontrollably laughing while choking watching This f*ckin guy talking about how he's never felt better while also mentioning how his body hasn't matured well.. because his dad's 80 & his grandmother's 100..
    This video was well worth the choke

    • @constantineiordanidis4334
      @constantineiordanidis4334 Před 8 měsíci +25

      Next time get some cheese and wine with your captain crunch thank me later dude

    • @Mookguy
      @Mookguy Před 8 měsíci +25

      Keep reaching for those grapes buddy

    • @sethsolopow3226
      @sethsolopow3226 Před 8 měsíci +2

      careful choking on cereal if you wanna outlive your children like Tito

    • @jbuzzo1
      @jbuzzo1 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Fuck dude, great comment, hilarious 😂😂

    • @BARBARYAN.
      @BARBARYAN. Před 7 měsíci +3

      I’m stoned right now and that’s the best story I’ve ever related to

  • @IamChaChaCHNNL
    @IamChaChaCHNNL Před 8 měsíci +30

    Tried so hard and was proud of myself for keeping my composure for so long (4 minutes). However “right hook to the body” was my breaking point. I can no longer breathe

    • @steelier6107
      @steelier6107 Před 5 měsíci

      It’s my favorite because it’s so short and simple😭😭. Can’t even tell his lefts and rights

  • @imnotoopinionated
    @imnotoopinionated Před 5 měsíci +2

    You are a gem. I cried laughing with my wife on this one.

  • @keithalcibiade3126
    @keithalcibiade3126 Před 4 měsíci

    This guy narratiting made it so funny. First time iv seen him just subscribed. I needed that laugh thats brother

  • @AUZlE
    @AUZlE Před 8 měsíci +20

    You post 1-2 videos a month that are just laugh factories and part of it is that you just have an infectious laugh due to it being genuine, you don’t falsify your emotion and so it always hits 10/10.

  • @jamesforbesw
    @jamesforbesw Před 8 měsíci +74

    As a Black American, I don’t even get mad at him lol I’m laughing so bad 😂

    • @Researchthejoos
      @Researchthejoos Před 8 měsíci +1

      Then why do your people always cry victim
      Your African not American
      Americans are white

    • @DeuceDropper927
      @DeuceDropper927 Před 6 měsíci +35

      As a Black Chinese, I don't eben getu madu ata himu ror I'm raffing so bad

    • @N.A.M.S.
      @N.A.M.S. Před 5 měsíci +16

      As a fellow black american i have diabetes. thank you.

    • @itsSoaren
      @itsSoaren Před 4 měsíci +8

      As a Native American, my people won’t be here to agree with my sentiments on this video because all of my ancestors are dead

    • @user-gw1sg5jj3r
      @user-gw1sg5jj3r Před 4 měsíci

      ​@@itsSoarenthere's one left boys, let's go.

  • @lewisjones3805
    @lewisjones3805 Před 2 měsíci

    thankyou so much for this vid, I haven't laughed so much in ages😂

  • @MjBurns88
    @MjBurns88 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I just stopped wrestling after 18 years I watched this planning on being scared...... I'm so ashamed that I must have laughed harder than I've laughed in about 5 years😂😂😂

  • @Pxstran
    @Pxstran Před 8 měsíci +24

    I literally woke up in the middle of the night . It’s 5 Am I tried to put on a guru video to go to sleep to, I’ve been laughing throughout the entire video and I cannot sleep now. Thanks guru

  • @krta1773
    @krta1773 Před 6 měsíci +1

    thank you for showing me the Tito Monkey clip I haven't seen it before lmao Tito is just a gift that keeps on delivering the gifts

  • @user-qm2wj6gf3t
    @user-qm2wj6gf3t Před 4 měsíci +1

    Tito's stand up really is awesome. He's always in character.

  • @julius2790
    @julius2790 Před 8 měsíci +32

    Guru you are a jewel. This was so incredibly funny.

  • @UnTropical
    @UnTropical Před 8 měsíci +19

    This made me like Tito. This is actually hilarious 😆 😂😂

  • @realassnewf3773
    @realassnewf3773 Před 3 měsíci

    This is a great video had alot of fun laughing with you

  • @JaysonKing2009
    @JaysonKing2009 Před měsícem +2

    Chuck looking at Tito like: “Did I cause this?”

  • @nedlead85
    @nedlead85 Před 8 měsíci +46

    I've already seen a bunch of these Tito video's and I can't help but be convinced that Tito is just trolling everyone.

  • @francismartial6427
    @francismartial6427 Před 8 měsíci +67

    There'd a term called a "philosophical zombie" and it basically describes someone who can act like a person but really there's nothing at all going on in their brain and I truly think Tito is a prime example of that

  • @allenfrench8734
    @allenfrench8734 Před 8 měsíci +36

    I haven’t laughed that hard in long time 😂

  • @abudujana13
    @abudujana13 Před 18 dny

    😅😂😅😂 🤣 😂
    Thanks for the video, THE MMA GURU

  • @philbudgin8248
    @philbudgin8248 Před 5 měsíci

    Thank you for this!😂

  • @Nathan-qq3kv
    @Nathan-qq3kv Před 8 měsíci +31

    The onion cutting technique is almost the same as one used by street vendors in India mainly. But Tito somehow managed to still do it wrong

    • @thatindiandude4602
      @thatindiandude4602 Před 8 měsíci +16

      Yes. But Tito Ortiz forgot to add the gastroenteritis because that's a crucial ingredient

    • @Eventual-Visitor
      @Eventual-Visitor Před 8 měsíci +10

      @@thatindiandude4602 Well, that juiced up blood of his permeating the onion might just do the trick.

  • @jakes1881
    @jakes1881 Před 8 měsíci +12

    I’ve seen the effects of head trauma first hand with family and it’s really one of the hardest and saddest things to see someone go through. But I’d be lying if I said there’s never a moment where it can be fucking hilarious.

  • @KFBALL247
    @KFBALL247 Před 5 měsíci

    Omg I needed this. I was ☠️ the entire time.
    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
    The one where he says his body hasn’t matured great because his father is 80 years old and his grandma is 100 years old had me f-in on the ground dying. Chuck’s reaction was the best part.
    What a compilation man..

  • @therealdannyg
    @therealdannyg Před měsícem

    Bro you my friend are really making me laugh thankyou

  • @hockthebest
    @hockthebest Před 8 měsíci +7

    I though we're gonna starve of Guru's content during UFC off week and boom, a video about Tito Ortiz!!!

  • @DJK6914
    @DJK6914 Před 8 měsíci +10

    Guru looks like he rolled a fat blunt and decided to make this video! This is great! I'm crying in laughter and my wife is confused 🤣🤣🤣

  • @colt1911cs
    @colt1911cs Před 19 dny +1

    I forget where i saw it, but the description of tito stirring a pot is hilarious.
    Tito the type of guy to put a spoon in the pot, then turns the pot to stir it.

  • @mvlcmlgmclmgkcmlfm
    @mvlcmlgmclmgkcmlfm Před 4 měsíci

    Titos incredible ways to formulate sentences and your laugh was an amazing match made in heaven!

  • @Leatherhead4Hire
    @Leatherhead4Hire Před 8 měsíci +24

    Goddamn..anytime i need to clear my head after or during tumultuous times i go thru the Tito vids and it never fails to get me to literally laugh out loud. Like real loud and hard! His cameo video is tops!!

  • @prod.byroom1219
    @prod.byroom1219 Před 8 měsíci +9

    Bro I found Pantheon Level Cluelessness a couple months back and literally watched every tito ortiz clip on the channel. Hes the gift that keeps on giving

  • @HugoStiglitz88
    @HugoStiglitz88 Před 7 měsíci

    I've never let you down until now, and I won't start is one of my favorites. It's so hilarious in so many ways.

  • @YouTubeNinga1
    @YouTubeNinga1 Před 2 měsíci

    Oh shit. What a gem compilation 😂😂.
    I couldnt do this without pausing the vid. 7m 50s in and i need a time out 😂😂. Ive already paused 4 times.
    Guru your laugh too 😂😂😂
    I cant cope 😂😂😂