I Dated for 10 Years: Here's What I Learned
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- čas přidán 23. 08. 2024
- I Dated for 10 Years: Here's What I Learned
Hi my loved ones!!
Your Helly is back but this time with a special series:
LATE NIGHTS WITH HELLY
[I Dated for 10 Years: Here's What I Learned (The Hard Way)]
A video by Lana Blakely a few years back inspired me, and I wanted to make it someday.
In this video, I discuss my decade-long journey of dating and shared the valuable lessons and challenges I faced along the way. From the highs to the lows, I'm opening up about my experiences and the important insights gained from a significant relationship.
This video is very personal to me but after sharing it with you I felt extremely relaxed.
What You'll Discover in This Video:
My personal good and bad experiences
How to deal with toxic relationship
Impact of a relationship on Personal Growth
Communication Breakdowns
Navigating Changes and Expectations
Dealing with Relationship Struggles
Lessons for Future Relationships
Join me as I candidly share my story, hoping to inspire and resonate with those navigating the complexities of love and commitment.
Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe if you enjoy this content❤️
Connect with Me:
Instagram: / thehellyblog
Thank you for watching and being a part of this journey! Remember to hit the notification bell so you never miss an upload.
------------------------
In case you didn't watch my toxic relationship story:
Watch Here - • I was in a Toxic Relat...
________________
#RelationshipLesson #LoveAndGrowth #DatingJourney #RelationshipChallenges #PersonalGrowth #HellyYT
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If my mom is watching these- mom I'm kidding I have never dated anyone
😂
Your mom will feel proud of you.....😂😂
😂
Lie
😂
Don't understand why people "date" at such young age of 13-14-15.
& People like you are asking to date more n more, even after facing toxic relationships. If people start dating after 23 or so, there would have been better sense prevailing & less toxicity to be faced.
You are absolutely right.
+1
It's not like if you start dating at 23 .Lets say you want to get married at age 30 you can still face 4-5 failed relationship people come use you and leave . Dating is a western concept we enter with our Indian believes this is first and last .So ,from this belief misery starts.
@@mansipandey611 In our Indian culture we had Gandharva marriage. Search about it
its just to understand how relationships work and it doesn't always have to mean romantic relationship. We are all human with feelings emotions having them at a younger age and wanting to pursue those feelings isn't wrong but what makes us human. Sometimes what we have might be just physical attraction and maybe not what the person is on the inside by dating you understand the other person. Meeting a lot of people understanding people and learning from them is what takes us ahead in life my friend and besides its a personal choice to whether act on these feelings or no. One shouldn't shame anyone for showing positive emotions especailly those of love and admiration
I am a guy from this generation. But now I feel I am from 2-3 generations back. Have we entered into different civilization ?
I agree ..I don't understand my own generation..I guess my parents generation was better..in terms of relationship, finances, self control, everything..yha pe sab apna dil todke ki experience lenge
.aurje to lgta h me paida hi experience k sath huj thi ki bhai nhi pdna inn sab me
@@na2939 right
Very complicated generation
Even I think so we are in wrong generation
I'm also a gen z and I'm also feeling very wierd..
All are excuses to make sure you never get bored and get to have all the fun of Marriage without committing and then biggest cope of all time “ What if I end up Marrying the wrong person “.. Bruh you switch people as soon as you even face mild discomfort .. Resilience is Zero, Maturity is negative , Understanding is zilch.. YOU ARE THE WRONG PERSON. And please don’t marry anyone and ruin their life , coz now you would n’t be able to handle any issue, coz you ll leave at the sight of discomfort. Pair Bonding ki toh L lag gayi
Agree with you completely.
I also agree with you
" coz you'll leave at the sight of discomfort." Spot on !!
I agree with yoy.
Even if you get someone, which you will eventually, if your list of non-negotiables grows, you will still see something that you will have to compromise with. My advice for you will be: learn who you are (physically, emotionally and spiritually) to seek what you want, don't learn other people primarily to know what you don't want. Appreciate your work and your beauty. Take care.
This is very well put ✨
People tend to seek negative attributes instead of seeking the traits u like or have
@@alyanaiqbal1436thank you
@@alyanaiqbal1436Critical mindset is good till it's deconstructive. Recognition of bad traits is good but if there are many great traits, the person will be happy to work on the weakness/bad traits they have. Instead of attacking, one has to help to gradually remove the weakness since the other person needs that help. But if after a while even, the non-negotiable weakness does not go away then only someone should leave working on the relationship, if they are really serious. In this easy to get era, people aren't left as persistent enough as we once used to be. We either focus on work too much or we focus more on relationships. This imbalance takes away the essence of life.
@@alyanaiqbal1436 thank you
Money can solve only MONEY PROBLEMS. Nothing much, nothing less. (referring to lesson 1)
Very well said
"Love is not enough" ... ❤
Then what ???
I have been watching your videos for 4-5 years. Even we are of the safe age and honestly, I think I have never related to any video of yours more than this. Lots of love.
Wow, thank you❤️
Even though we are of the same age, I never got into a relationship. So this video can't be relatable for me. Yeah! 🙂
@@avinash21899 Individual experiences differ.
@@avinash21899 😂😂 koi ni bhai us men experience it quite late but yeah start approaching random girls you find cute in the streets might be your THE ONE lol
@@basumpa As the time is passing we are getting older suddenly I realised that I cannot find a perfect girl for me I have to keep approaching girls. One should date girls, this can't help you with what type of girls you want but definitely help u with what you don't want in your girl. 🤗
No one in the comments is curious how a 20 year old makes 20 LPA? Just me? Ok.
Fr she so casually said it as if thats bad 😭
She makes 2 crores/year now 😅
200 LPA 😂😂😂@@adnanmalik6697
I think she is lying about this or we are fool ones
@@nishusingh1523 public or rather the consumers are always the one playing the fool. Sadly .
The age gap guy sounds like a real piece of work. You know why you were looking for an older guy. Ever wondered what the older guy was looking for in you?
+1
I have never dated anyone in my 25 years but now going to Marry with someone whom I never met till now
Never talked her
😊😊
Lots of love from Rajasthan
😂kyu mana kiya tha koi tumne date nhi kiya vo to date ki hogi or tumse zyada experienced bhi hogi 😂bed par
@@raajkumar3466 yes darling she is your sister 😁😁😁😁
All the best Bhai
Rajasthani hoke itni late shadi?
Good luck bro .
U will have more chances that your marriage will work as compared to those who are giving lectures on how to date 😂
@@zzyuk814 😀😀😀
धन्यवाद
Youre quote "date more to understand who you want", is a big a red flag for real man and youre chances of getting married will decrease with the increase in frequency of your dating numbers
Very true!
it's dating, not sleeping with them. going on dates isn't even the same as having a relationship.
@@rudy5807 and how can you confirm she wasn't sleeping
Correct @@rudy5807
We only get what we give. Today most people are just looking for love from different sources--from relationships or whatnot but they don't really love anything or pretty much anyone. They are continuously expecting and imagining love and that's pretty much all they do. If Love arises out of you spontaneously towards any person or even objects, Life will give it back to you in many ways, and that's how it works. You can only get what you give.
But Love is also self fulfilling and has nothing to do with what you get in return--like if Love comes out of you for someone, the feeling it'll create in you is far more than anything you can get in any relationship or anything else.
Life is not fair ... If you don't understand this you will suffer
Just be self-sufficient. Everyone or everything else is just bonus.
Two years ago, I was having a rough time with my ex. I was so upset with him that I wanted to break up. To convince me to stay, he would do anything, even things I hadn't asked for, like writing my assignments.
Then, a few months ago, I had knee surgery and was in the hospital, suffering from a spinal headache. At that time, I had to submit an assignment for a suddenly announced task. I requested him to write it for me, but he refused and taunted me, suggesting I ask my classmates for help. However, I am not that close to my classmates because I spent my whole four years, 24/7, with him.
That was an extreme red flag; he was supportive verbally but not in reality. I broke up with him yesterday because I couldn't stand it anymore. I am also a one-man girl, and I dreamt of marrying him and having children. To keep it long-lasting, I always chose to forgive him and move on. However, a few days ago, because of him, I had to hurt my parents' feelings. I m regretting doing tht. That’s why I decided to leave and live peacefully.
Money doesn't solves any fundamental problem in you , SELF LOVE , coz you gotta care for yourself. Professional achievements won't fill that void Love yourself for who you're apart from your achievements , loving me as a person.
Nobody can fill anykind of void in your life
You have to take care of yourself
When I was dealing with my personal issues your past video on your relationship helped me a lot after it gives me immense strength to move out of negative people and after years happy to see myself healed (not completely but majorly) just here to thank you in my tough time you helped me ❤️ may be not physically but at that time your words are like therapy for me ❣️
I don't know why but this video felt like a much needed therapy session. Thank you so much Helly!❤ May God bless you.✨️🦋
This isnt talked about as often, but relationships really need accountability to be a part of it.. Instead of making excuses and giving labels to them, it takes a hole lot of heart mind, and perhaps sweat and tears to make things work.. In other words, if one wants to make things, it will work.. if not, there is as many a list of reasons to end things and make it seem ok
To all your Ex-Boyfriend -- " Gentlemen you are very lucky because HELLY wants an employee not a partner - too much if else "😎
Best best best reply
I still remember the time when I discovered your channel years back. I loved your content and following you since then. It's great to see how much you have grown in life and continue to do so. ❤❤
It's okay Helly, when we're in love pata nahi chalta how things go and whoops, you end up in a toxic situation. I'm happy you got out, and I have no doubts that you'll find a lot of joy in romance going forward.
Like you, I was pretty much out of relationships and just 6 months ago, I met the love of my life. She's not even from India! Both of us are writers, and she's 5 years older than I am. Yet, we never feel that age gap, ever. She reaches me about life, and I teach her new things too. I guess healthy relationships and love truly aren't things that are in our control. It happens when it happens!
I'm 33M.
Never dated. Probably never will.
Will stay single. I think it is better.
I hate myself because of it
@@arrow2380
Few things are not easy for some people.
Vai ladki main ego problem Hain. 3 relationship at the age of 25.
@@competitive_study365days its literally okay amount wtf is wrong with you
@@nodeofranvier222
How is that ok ?
3 relationship and 10 years and still like this ....wtf 😂😂😂
i left the video when she said i was barely making 20lpa , so yeah i dont even deserve a heart break , that hell of a useless person i am
But how do you find dates continuously? This is a genuine question, pls reply..I mean what's the procedure
Throughout the whole video i was just looking into your eyes and can feel the pain which you have gone through but this is what life is we need to learn things 🤗
Thanks helly
I have never dated someone yet but the advices you have given will surely help me in my life to find a better partner and not adjust with bare minimum. Usually no one around me even talk about relationship and when they do it's like a quick fling. So I started taking that relationship is just a time pass and whenever we get bored from our studies or job we just make a call to lighten up our mood but after listening you talk about it has changed my opinion. Whenever I will ever date in my life I will keep your advices in my mind.
Love you for making me fell in love with books and also giving us advices for life❣️❤
Was lovely hearing your story @saheli, well i dated a guy for 8 years, it had been toxic! and guess what i married him. After 3 years of marriage i got the courage of Divorcing him! and i was reborn, all the years that i lost with him i managed to relive it. I wore what i want, i ate what i want, i partied late night....but i learnt a lot of lessons! the only imp advice i wanna give you guys are "Date, but the moment you realize you don't belong just quit!" - Society ki - Maa ki aankh!
Now im in a relationship with someone who is so much peaceful, caring, who keeps me like queen! Respects my decision! Im grateful to the UNIVERSE! 🙂
Helly just one advice..never jump from one relationship to another..one needs to heal first before exploring a new relationship..take your time..spend time with yourself get to know yourself better..take your time..
I'm 26. Male, Haven't dated anyone till date. Problem with me is I get friendzoned by girls I like. Somebody help me with this.
iron man lifestyle dekh ek baar, hoe math(its a yt channel in english that will help u knowing the ground reality),just be confident and be bold with your intentions,lets hope u will get some help brother
Spotted The Lonely City on the side table💞
Yes you did love ittttt
@@thehellyblog yess
These 20s boys / girls think they have seen everything 😂
Great lessons Helly . Your content is always so relatable . Kudos keep growing and helping others grow too .
Thank you for the Video.
Thanks for all book recommendations and discussions about what you have learned.
Have a great life.
You are so welcome!
Absolutely true.. In feelings there is no correct or incorrect. It's the feeling that you express of the situation you are in at that point.
Thanks for sharing your story. 👍😊
You didn't talk about any negative side of yours which you've changed. Is there nothing like that?
Girls are always right 😂
Wf yaar , who date for 10 years and still not able to find his/her partner.
And u started dating at 14? 😂
Its like a Relationship maturity Speedrun.
This is really something great .. thanks Helly.. you're an inspiration 😊 All your decisions were the best... Keep it up.. ❤
Thank you so much!!
"date people to know better" people used to say date more to know better but
Areh yar what about emotions!!!
I think i should not belong to this generation 🙂
At the end we should prefer the kindness about the person and doesn't mean that your partner shout on you doesn't love you no because nobody is perfect in entire world
I'm so glad to see you grow from a little girl to a strong woman. Although I found you advice and experiences helpful I fill like we both belong to two different worlds.😅
Your video just reminded me of my ex-girlfriend who
cheated on me with her "just male friend" 💔
Aik larka or larki kabhi bhi dost nhi ban sakte. Period...
Take your own example, how you ended up dating your own best friend
Helly, I just love you not because of your beauty because of your personality ❤❤
I think you do not want to adjust a little because you are a independent women but if relationships breaks for these types of reason then for sure half of india will break their relations you are influencing the wrong way
you have not even seen those people who still stay with their men after so much bad happenings
You are amazing communicator. I absolutely loved this video
You inspire us a lot❤
Untill and unless married ,all relations are casual...soon you realize this...
You look a lot like Saheli Chaterjee............ I was confused since last 4 years. Today i came to know you 2 are different maam.
Same hi hai
It's the same person
They are same person dude
@@DeepMahivlogs447 I’m sorry 🤪
@@Pheonixia 👻😂
Evening di,
1.Are there any books which could give you some basic idea about the relationship thing?
(to be read before entering one)
2.Is it helpful to know the other person well beforehand or one is likely to discover a new side of the person (which he/she didn't know during the friendship period)?
Thank you for sharing your experiences di
Atleast you dated someone but i am still single 😂😂😂😂😂😂.
Sometimes i feel being single in peaceful. But when i see my crush my mind changes 😂😂😂😂.
like wise 😅😅
True .
I see friends in relationships and I feel that I am good that I am not dating anyone when I see my frustrated friends 😂
but sometimes I feel that I also need someone.
It's an on and off feeling
@@sidy6526true😂
When I see your videos occasionally, it made me feel that people like our understanding still lives in city of joy.
Hope to see you one day & have a cup of coffee ☕
Thanks.
Amazing video helly thanks for this🙌
We shouldn't date until a guy is loud about you
Goes bothways
Even I dated a guy who is 12 years older than ,me ! They are like that they make us feel small
And ya proud too no casual dating
You are brave to be this open! More power to you 🌸
Thanks for sharing. Love it, so clean explanation.
You never love anyone genuinely, instead of love just want to flip partners for sexual intimacy and then after throw them out ,ok so just stop giving bull shits
very nice video have also been in 2 relationships one lasted for over 10 months and other was on and off
I SEEN YOUR VIDEO OF YOURS FIRST TIME AND I SUBSCRIBED IMMEDIATELY . I HOPE I WOULD NOT REGRET
At first i dont know you are a bengali as well thats very proud to have and I have been your fan for for then 4-5 year now and seen the changes in you though out the journey. its really something.
_I’m glad that I am able to feel a lot of emotions in much more depth than I would have if I was very shallow with them_ this is one the best things I heard today
victim mentality, no accountability, one sided story
Your voice 🙌🏻 ❤
you should do a celebrity book club like jack edwards but on indian celebss
i think that'd be so fun to watch🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Didi could you please tell which english should we follow in today's time, British or American english??
It doest matter Its not her break up video. That guy is with because you earn
Im watching you since so many years now literally saw you grow up you are amazing and i love you so much
Followed your journey since the beginning.. seeing you talk like this I feel proud ❤
tooo much complications ........ after marriage I am happy ... growth is upwards ....there tooo many things that are not common in us but we know ''we have to adjust'' and that is life you have to adjust that applicable on anything in order to succeed on anything; right we dont know each other that well before marriage ..........our relationship is successful because I think that we did not fry our brain washing by western theories and culture
ok ill get married
yarr harr bat pe west ko kyu gali dete ? tere east bahut doodh ka dhula hua hai ? aaj tere east v west ke raste pe chalta 😂 thora arrogance kam karo
Do you know anything about Gandharva marriage?? Go and search about it
True
Glad you are uploading more and more videosss❤❤:')
if you had 3 relationships then you have never been in a real realtionships you where doing timepass for sure cause if it was real you would have never choosen somebody else after that its a legit thing .
Get a life dude , if a relationship ends often doesnt necessarily means none was serious , one person cant make a relation work out , but can ruin it surely …. And if its bout not dating someone else afterwards, what else are we meant to do then? You only live once my brdr , if you have loved someone by heart and he/she cheats , i agree u wont be able to love with same intensity, but surely u arent supposed to live in that fkin past fantasy world and moments …. We are meant to enjoy every moment of this life , no fkin scumbag should be the able to stop anyone from dating after a bad relationship.. thanks
@@Whatsyourtake-br9iy hehe lol aaj kal ke genz bamce
I completely agree with you !! Dating is not even worth it we should work on building ourselves up rather than looking out for someone to pour love onto us, it's basically hormones things for genz
I'm not a regular viewer, but are you related to Saheli Chatterjee? You guys look so similar.
my relationship was going good, of religion differences his parents did not agree....he left me broken....sometimes it's really hard to heal but your video helped me a little...just here to thank u
Thanks for sharing your story :)
Couldn't have agreed morel Evolving is the way of life
So, in 2014 u were dating being 14 yr old (since now you are 24).
In 2024, 10 yrs old must be dating???
Or, you were ahead of time?
Watching you from 5yrs now wow
hey dii
I want myself to become a book ka kidda
I want to immerse myself in a book so deeply that I can just move on... Please recommend a beginner-friendly book that's not too expensive or lengthy, as it will be my first purchase.
I've watched many of your videos on CZcams, and they're so good! However, I'm still quite confused about which book to pick but by watching your videos, I've developed an interest in the fiction genre. Could you please please please suggest a book?"
The Best point for me Never loss your Best frineds for Relationship...Thank You for Share Your Expereinces ..😊
Why didn't you share about your recent relationship?
I'd love to date you lol. Thanks for sharing your journey. Really admire your achievement.
Koi baat nahi hota hai..... life hai ye... Sob bhaloi Hobe..... infact sob bhalo ei cholche.... feel blessed fee happy.
If u know about urself then u don't need datings to know which partner will be compatible for me as u told u didn't know urself very well other than ur career that's why u had to date alot.
you really give that Diane Nguyen vibe and I really appreciate that
I was in a relationship he left me in between I can't stop writing this
THIS WAS A TOXIC COMMENT
how can love be not enough is a incomplete question that arises, I want a insight what kind of difference you guys had be it career or any other thing?
thank you mam for sharing your valuable experience to make our love more better and mam please also share something that what kind of person actually would be so that we can make our relationship more magnificent
i.e.-what kind of factor is makes strong foundation of our relationship please if possible so please discuss about that.
or once again thanks a lot mam, for your love for audience
❤.
You are an amazing person, i just love your recommendations and the way you express your thoughts on different aspects of life is just awesome. Much love to you❤❤❤
Hailey one thing I want tell you that you will get the person from where you've never expected someone will come maybe he's been always around in life but it will just happen saying from my experience ....... lots of love from bhopal❤❤🎉
Didi, I want to buy How to win friends and influence people.. but in Amazon there are various books and publishers so which one is the original and best ... Plz help me
I thought at the last she would say .. "Everything is n illusion,never go for that"..
Yeah...love is not enough
Sorry ma'am we believe only one relationship with your life partner is best relationship for life long.
I think this is not good to relationship with many peoples.
If we continue only one relation till life death then which is greatest relationship.
Life is not a business. And only loving your partner is not complete if we along with his all conditions of life. i.e means of relationship.
Small fights are necessary bcz we fight but we love each other so much. Sometimes some misunderstanding is happens but after a day we realised our mistakes
Mai to dislike aur report karne aaya tha , ab jaa rha hu 😂😂
All the best Saheli ❤
Dont take any advice about relationship her.
Regret But Grateful 💫
There is no love in the world ... Don't fall in lust .😮
But, friendship exists