Dave, My Wife Has Been Hiding Something From Me...
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Dave said no vacations for them unless itâs their backyard. I guess itâs good they live in Hawaii!đ
He my go to Club Fedđ
Daughter: âDad, can I have some money to go to the movie.....â
Dad: â No, go hike, walk down the beach or go surfâđ
Cost of living in Hawaii is high
@@insideoutsideupsidedown2218 yes!
Austin MartĂn HernĂĄndez i don't live in Hawaii, just know that it is expensive there. In my state democrats are rare. When we find them, we send them to California........đ
Poor guy is crying, she has destroyed his life.
She's just getting started destroying his life. This is a stubbed toe compared to what is probably in the next envelope he opens. There could be a lot more debt than this hiding there could be other men his kids might not be his God only knows.
She is your wife forgive her and put all the energy and pay it off be a man and stop bitiching...
@@abdulafro3283 Standing up for ones self is not bitching. "be a man" is shaming language that doesn't work on men who learn to see it for what it is. Forgiveness comes from the inside and must be deserved. Telling people to forgive is just a manipulation tactic.
@@DrogoBaggins987 well said.
Drogo Baggins Just stop it! Why do people always make things up in the comment section?
This is financial infidelity, that's why he's crying...
I feel bad for him
She may have a shopping addiction problem. She needs to step up.
I trust my wife too. I understand his willingness to let her handle it assuming she is, in fact, handling it.
That's over now and likely the marriage is too. I cant believe buying stuff was more important than bringing this up to her husband about $85,000 ago
Run away. You have a bad egg there dude.
Wow, she played him. You can hear the heart break. Sheâs only sorry she was caught.
Their marriage won't recover from this.
@@sj3267 He feels that way for now. Their marriage will be dissolved by divorce.
@@sj3267 the debts in his name as much as it's in hers. He wants to not be in debt.
Wordivore Legally yes, morally no, itâs hers. She went behind his back. Thatâs just as bad as cheating if not worse
Seems like he was too lazy to manage the finances of the home and she knew it and took advantage of that.
Start selling stuff she bought .
Best way to find out if anything is hidden.
She can't sell tangible gifts to a boyfriend.
E E lol
E E start with her boyfriend stuff
Bruh a pack of a dozen eggs costs $7, a gallon of milk is $5.50 when it's cheap, and the cheapest house in Hawaii that's one bedroom, one bathroom and hella broken down and dirty is 350-400k. Maybe she's cheating, but a debt like that here isn't out of the norm đ
"No she's not! She sucks at it!"
GUTOM Had me rolling đ
GUTOM haha
đđđđ
I literally laughed out loud đ€Ł
The pain in that man's voice almost brought me to tears. He's got a rough road ahead.
lightning guy I swearđ in all seriousness I would literally cry when I found out đ€Šââïž
Nah, if he sorts the marriage out then the 90K is easily dealt with on his turnover. He just needs to man up and NAIL those finances down to the floor. Any money the wife needs, he gives her cash.
Paul G68 they both seem like their terrible at managing finances. He said himself his credit was awful and he was happy she took over the finances. They need a marriage counselor, financial peace university and to actual realize how much of a hole theyâre in.
âShe sucks at it!!â Whenever one person in a relationship is âin chargeâ of the finances itâs a red flag. Both individuals should be 100% aware of whatâs going on with the finances
My wife once hid kettle corn in her car trunk. I found it when I had to get out our kids stroller and ate it all.
đ
You need a marriage counselor NOW
You monster!
She may have âhidâ the kettle corn so you didnât find the Reeseâs peanut butter cups she really didnât want to share.
đđđ u showed her
She was afraid to tell him, but not afraid to keep spending.
Both wife and husband should always be involved with household finances
The one who reels in the money, makes the decision. If she earns her own, she can blow that on whatever. But it stops there.
TwistedMicrowave If youre married (or defacto) you shouldnt spend your income however you want... thatâs incredibly selfish - most couples have shared goals and the pool of money coming in is a resource for both of you to get a house, go on holiday, have a nice retirement etc.
@@Angela-lp3lz If you are married, and you bring in 100% of the income of the "household", why on earth should your wife have ANY say for what money is going to be spend?
Men usually become fathers when they marry. Therefore they take care of the family, which include the children and their wife. And if the women says; we need X for little susan/tommy, fathers usually get that done, without much hesitation.
And speaking of selfish, tell that the millions of single mothers, that take in the child support payed by the father, and spend it on themselves. Pretty new nails, a holiday, a new car, new fancy clothes for them... spare me that rhetoric...
@@HerrHoppenstedt that completely ignores unpaid work such as housekeeping & childrearing. And it doesn't make sense logistically for major financial decisions e.g. do you both buy your own houses? It also is just rude as financial decisions are very important
And I am coming at this from the standpoint of being the breadwinner
Or at least the person who is the best at managing money.
In the words of the great African American poet:
"She's for the streets"
-Future
ahahahhahaha
Am I wrong for saying he need a DNA test cause....
American*
@@anderbean2945 Im confused at what you are correcting?
Youp she gotta go !
I felt the pain in his voice. Ouch. 90k like that will definitely mess up a marriage.
@Johnny Five If he has life insurance on wifey, she has a hypothetical accident and dies, he gets a windfall and moves on with his life.
@L.T. Right. I felt bad losing a storage going through a cancer journey. Told hubby( our Navy uniforms and stuff his Grandfather made were among the items) and he admitted hurt but showed me grace and mercy.
Horrible comments here
What do you even buy with 90K đ
This is horrible but I think they can recover from it. Wife prob has a shopping addiction and needs help. I would throw in the towel if it was 200k, but 90 on their salary and be fixed in 5 years with rice and beans.
*I am pretty surprised HE didn't notice it before it got to 90k. That's not an easy amount to spend in one weekend...*
If it's spent a few hundred at a time per month it can add up to 90K in a few years.
Ala Moana, Kahala, and bam! Bye bye the 90k
Guy admits to thinking something was up cause things didn't "add up". Dude knew but was riding the wave cause he liked it too.
"She's really good at paying things on time"
"No she's not, she sucks at it!"
She's not yours it's just your turn.
The bills are yours, though.
Whoâs the next taker gonna be??? And how much is she gonna reveal to him about her track record?
Crawl pack to r/redpill and stay there
Truth
Sarah Farley Where is the lie though? đ€·đœââïž
How do these people just hand over their finances to their partners? Seems like they want to be treated like children for life.
It was easy for the wife to do that, she just needed to get new credit cards, but after she had blown up 7 credit cards she couldn't hide it anymore.
@Nicks Kicks ...and excessive shopping trips with girlfriends, and dinner and drinks on girl's nights out.
It's normal for one partner to handle finances. My wife stresses over bills and balancing budget so i do it all
Youâre supposed to trust your spouse. Itâs not about being a child. Itâs about being a team and trusting the other to do whatâs best for the team.
@@teebone2157 divorce is also normal :)
He's way too passive .
Charles Martin sounds more shell shocked and defeated
He's probably so shaken and angry that he has to calm himself from killing his wife, literally.
@@texan903 That feels like a projected interpretation of that call, considering he was trying to defend her. This response also is quite concerning. If you have feelings like this, I (without judgement) would suggest counseling.
@@Good147Morning I didn't say anything about how I felt, if you re-read what I did say, you'll see that. Your attempt to twist my words/thoughts/feelings, suggests to me: 1) you must be a woman, 2) you are trying to avert the wife accepting responsibility and being held accountable for her actions.
*the wife
Sheâs really good at paying things on time. đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©
.....Dave...No sheâs NOT
Divorce is coming. 90K in debt and he didn't even know.
wow! I am so glad to be single when I hear things like this. I would be SO UPSET
Silent walkout before feeding the lawyers.
70K just one one lawyer bill !
They make 130k. They can clear this mess in two years. They are fine đ
He may not be able to afford a divorce now.
These 2 need a Total Marriage Makeover.
James Kiel Dave could get another certification for marriage counseling, then write another book.
@Natty Fatty Powerlifting She already is!
đđđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Dear Caller,
It looks like yâall will be eating Beans and Rice for a while. Beans and Rice/Rice and Beans is actually one of my favorite things to make. Dave, if you ever come out with a Baby Step 2 Cookbook, please include my recipe below:
1.) Rice
2.) Beans
3.) Done
Iâm kidding. The real recipe is below:
1.) Add garlic, onions, ginger, mushrooms, and green peppers to a pan of heated avocado oil. Add jalapeños if you like heat.
2.) Season with salt, pepper, oregano, onion powder, and garlic powder.
3.) Add diced tomatoes after the items from step 1 have been cooking for 8 minutes.
4.) After about 5 minutes, add any kind of Pork and Beans you prefer.
5.) Let that simmer for about 10 minutes, and put that over cooked white rice.
6.) Sometimes I add cooked chopped hot dogs to it.
7.) Itâs good.
Thank you for a bit of levity in all these depressing comments!!!
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
If he gets rid of his ole lady he can eat cake.
đđđ That should be printed on the inside jacket...
Thanks for the recipe. đ
Cookie Franco Iâm Puerto Rican, I eat rice and beans everyday.
Would be awesome to know if Sharon has ever played an April Fools joke on Dave and printed out a fake credit card statement with a huge balance, high interest rate and left it laying around for him to stumble upon
đźđźđźđź imagine đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
He's worth 50 million.....not much he can't handle..
Ishma Pinckney all the money in the world and trust is still something you canât buy
I think Dave knows her too well to fall for it.
Rice & beans, baby! Rice & beans!đ Caaarrrrs???? GONE!!! u don't get to see the restaurant unless u r working in it.
This marriage thing sounds fun, where do I sign up
đ
Haha I sense some sarcasm
corey407woc
I've seen the brochure.
No thanks.
Marriage is always great, until it's not, and you're footing the bill for your and her legal fees, losing your children and half your assets and wealth and a chunk of your future income. Then the dream is a nightmare. 40+ year old divorced men are essentially ruined financially for life and if they're being honest would say that getting married was a mistake and would not recommend that anyone get married.
I'll marry you after you give your credit card, LOL
She's sorry she got caught. Poor guy.
What is the problem. Take her off the accounts ASAP!!
What else is she hiding? Chad and Tyrone? I would take a paternity test if I am him.
You can call on Tyrone
Yes the p-sleeve
Free agent lifestyle, coach gang!!
But you can't use my phone
Chyrone ordered all the lobster. That money's gone.
Great title you guys! Got me intrigued to listening to this one. Tough break though. Wow. $90,000 hidden due to the wife. So defeated. Stay strong brotha.
Did you notice he said things werenât adding up but he didnât want to know.
He was in denial!
Because he was lazy period.
maybe she has addiction
Omg this poor man, you can hear the heartbreak in his voice.
Time for a divorce. This is disgusting behavior. She hid this for years. đ đ
You can hear the man holding back from crying the best he can. I hope his family got out of this.
I feel for this guy, the pain in his voice is heartbreaking but I can clearly see why she was able to do this to him. He doesn't even know what he bought, she wont tell him and he accepts this as an answer.
Dave should have a show where the couple calls in together so we can hear both sides of the story, probably turn a 20 minute call into 3 hours, minimum đ€Ł
When vacation is literally in the backyard
Obviously, dude is "legally blind".
I donât know how I would be able to stay with a person like this..... bless his heart
Lol when Dave started tapping his fingers together at 1:22 đ€Łđđ
Props to Dave for how he navigated that convo, start to finish. Cut through his pain with a joke, then leaned in, framed the problem as both of them, gave him a plan to work, and offered hope that itâs a short road. Sound council. He clearly loves his wife, I hope they make the turn around.
He should be immediately going to the courthouse and file for a divorce, like yesterday.
I find it odd how many people are advocating divorce in this caller's situation, all the while listening to the advice of a man who once lived beyond his means at an even higher price point, turned it around and still retained his marriage...not everyone is eager to press the divorce button. If they can get through this together, they'll be stronger for it, and they'll never let this situation happen again.
@NurturingTalents If she did, he would have immediately been suspicious of that from line items of the credit card bill. My guess is that wasn't one of the gut punches, or he would have mentioned it. Plus, how do you get a HELOC without both spouses signing for it?!
nrsimmons178 he may not even know that sheâs cheating if she is. Heâs closed his eyes to her actions
@@cm5394 No matter how in love you are, if you see a credit card bill from your spouse with a hotel stay in a place you didn't go, you'd know if they were cheating or not. Choosing to bury your head in the sand after the fact does not change the initial information.
YES!!!!!!
nrsimmons178 except youâre making up a scenario. In HIS situation we donât know if there was anything that happened that was as obvious as your example
How do these couples exist where one partner has zero idea of the family finances?
Life.
Mine is that way. My husband will not talk with me about finances. When I got 2 of his credit cards paid off, and told him I was on track to pay off # 3 in a month he was happy. Then 2 weeks later, he borrowed just under 3,000 to "help pay off the other 2 cards" I'm not happy with him, but he doesn't seem very concerned about it
no way she buys 90,000 worth of stuff and he didnt realize they had more than they could afford
Itâs been 20 years since he looked at the finances, this is debt accumulated for years probably...
That's what I was wondering how do you have stuff all over the house and not realized it was stuff you cannot afford and not wonder where the money came from two pay for this stuff.
Totally agree with this statement! We are only hearing half of the story.
Maybe it wasnât stuff. Maybe it was hospital bills, three kids worth. Maybe it was vacations. Maybe it was groceries, which are hella expensive in HI.
Although I was handling the finances in my own marriage, I found my wife was quite creative in financial deception, anyway. I forgave it and it continued, so I sent her on her way. I've been single again for 8 years and I'm now just 3-4 months from "debt free". Never again! Period!
@Johnny Five
I'm retired now, was married 40 years (27 & 13).
Women can be quite creative in hiding and disguising their traits, behaviors and characteristics, much like chameleons. I don't think all women are worthless.I do believe there are NAWALT's but they aren't plentiful and may be as many as 1 in 4 to as few as 1 in 10. Anyway, I 've had my fill and only interact with them in the marketplace, if I have to! Never again!
@Bonnie Holman
Well, aren't you impressive!
@@1redrubberball yup, marriage isnt worth it for men in this day and age
This guy is trying to hold it together but he is so heartbroken đđą
I would never allow someone else to manage my money.
But most people do. When you invest for retirement, your handing your money over to someone else to control. Thatâs why so many people have gotten hurt when the market crashes. Its a transfer of wealth to the ultra rich who control our money supply.
@@Plantbased7
Don't invest what you can't lose. I keep about 10% in stocks.
@@jxsilicon9 stocks is handing over your đ° to someone else.
Thank you!
@@jamesvillegas877
Yea, but with a specific purpose. Not just handing your earnings to someone to manage. And then get ripped off like these celebrities.
This guy sounds like he's putting himself and Dave to sleep. Poor guy has no more motivation.
Erica The Friendly Pisces yo you mad cute Erica đ
He is stunned, emotionally paralyzed. It was a good move on his part to call Dave. At least he was able to do that. Dave is able to direct him to the next steps and that's exactly what this guy needed. This family needs a lot of prayer and I hope they are able to work through this and be even better. There is a lot of pain in this and will continue to be as they work through this, which will take a long time. It will be hard.
Hey beautiful you single?
@@illegalalien6542 no married
Heâs passive which is why this happened
Poor man, he needs to wake up and divorce that woman. 90,000? Out of her mind, donât ever trust that kind of deception.
I remembered growing up this happened to a schoolmate. His mom had gotten laid off but didn't tell the husband and kept paying the bills with credit cards. The husband had no idea what was going on until the sheriff came to evict them from their foreclosed home.
This really breaks my heart.
Poor guy sounds like heâs about to pass out
"I knew in the back of my mind things weren't adding up" He got lazy- for 15 years! No sympathy.
You can be good at budgeting. Itâs sticking to the budget thatâs challenging.
"my wife's really good at paying stuff on time" wow, this guy is effed up
I would be digging up all the card statements to see WHERE TGE FLIP 90K WENT!!!!!
Exactly
Doing stuff with Her new boyfriend đ
chad and tyrone know. they charge alot for "romance" therapy.
Yep. Need to know what the other dude's name is.
This is why you look at her credit report and social media before getting married see what kind of person they are.....
Social Media wasn't around 16 years ago
@@SuperJutah well you can still look at their credit report I was using that as a baseline genius.... And another point if she has any student loan debt run for the hills.
Tell by the way this man sounds like a pushover. she done this because she knew she could do it and get away with it. Any normal person would be gone
"No vacations unless it's in your backyard,"
Well, they live in Hawaii, so...
Im beginning to learn that there is no such thing as a money problem but relationship problems in life
I like that they have made a point to not worry the kids about this.
Could be a teaching moment
*what else might she be hiding is the question I'd from then on be inclined to ask myself*
some say i have trust issues but usually those are people who have an issue with me not trusting themđȘđ
She's probably doing coke and hooking at the casino...
Dude messed up big, now since he called the show taking her on a cruise she falls off is out of the question.
She'll get him removed from the home so the boyfriend can move in for Christmas.
He's out of luck.
@@GardenerEarthGuy this comment is pretty hilarious, idk if that was intentional
@@Je.rone_
Just keeping it real and humorous...
Cheers!
Black Vito I agree. If someone has been hiding and lying about one thing, they are likely hiding other things and lying about other things too.
@@wordivore i honestly thought no one would agree so that's pretty coolđȘđ
Itâs a wife problem. In Korea and in japan, itâs common practice for the man to work and the woman takes care of paying bills and the household. Like thatâs the norm. Works well when you have a quality wife.
I agree, worked in korea, saw this often. Same in Vietnam
He obviously has some quality control issues.
No ! it's the guys fault , everything's our fault , women are just adult babies who need mollycoddling through life and be told ten times a day how beautiful they are . đđ
Take away 50% in taxes and the poor guy is only making 65K a year. No chance he can pay 30K off every year and still feed his family. Not in Hawaii.
Gosh!! Why I didn't know Dave before??!!
Dave, you are a example of human being to follow....the kindness to deal with this type of situation make me believe..đđŸđđŸ
God bless you...
From Lisbon, Portugal
Dave appreciated. You are so helpful.
âŠïžIâm disappointed Dave did not inquire how the hidden $90,000 was spent. That does matter. Could be drugs, gambling, making the mortgage payment, private school for the kids, self-pampering, etc. The problem is not yet understood so the path away from the problem is unknown.
Theyâll figure it out in FPU.
Finances would become separated and she'd be paying this debt herself-if I was in his shoes. Divorce otherwise, this is ridiculous.
My X did that twice, forgiven the first time but not the second. It was after 22 years of marriage, very sad. She has no remorse and blames me for all of it, typical behavior.
I could never just hand over my finances to the wife
Wow is right! I would be very mad đ
This was the first video I actually laughed at something Dave said because I donât think he realized he even said it! When he said vacation is going to be in your backyard, I just said to myself âwell yeah, because you live in Hawaii!â
Dave, you give the best (and most honest) advice I've heard from any financial advisor. Truly you are a light in a dark world. May God bless youđ
What else is she hiding???
My heart breaks for this man. There is no excuse to work your husband to death and do this kind of crao. No excuse! Her tears are manipulation
Dave, God bless you for being so generous to so many people
She dragged you in brother! Iâm sorry and ai hope you both make it through this. You shouldnât be liable for her lies and decisions. Iâm finding out a lot of the same tonight myself. Love you and be strong!
Real title: Dude ignores the home financials and then is shocked when he discovers they're a mess.
This is a horrible mess. I kinda feel bad for him, but kinda don't. Couples should never have a 1 person budget. Marriage is a partnership.
Amen, he was living the dream, and now canât handle the mess...
"Where did this new BMW 7 Series come from, dear?"
"Oh someone gave it to me."
"Oh... okay!"
Like dude, come on. 90k and you didnt notice?
I think he has emotional issues tied to money and anytime managing finances comes up he shies away from it but now its backfiring.
Iâm sorry but I screamed aoooo loud lol
I feel for this guy. You can hear the pain in his voice. She needs to get it together and help this man pay off her mistakes.
You ROCK Mr Ramsey! That was GREAT advice!
Maybe he should have helped with the finances all along.
She is totally at fault but how did he miss 90k worth of spending??
Exactly..
He didn't. He said, "we were living the dream. It wasn't adding up. That's why I opened the bank statement." So he knew they had a lot of stuff and just didn't wonder how much it costs until they were in the hole $90,000.
How do you not know about a home equity loan? He's been hiding his head in the sand.
Dave you are so so amazing at what you do , watching all your videos really help me as well there are so many great Godly advices and lessons learned here as well not just your callers but for all of us watching thank you so much and God bless you and your showđđœ
Leave, you can never give women like that another chance. Youâve only just witnessed the tip of the iceberg and it will continue to get worse. Could you imagine what sheâs done that he doesnât know about?
All comments below ignore the caller's previous money history, assuming the wife is the only problem. He had a bad credit rating when married. Bought house on her credit. Turned over all finances to his new wife because he doesn't handle money well. For all we know, he is the one who has been overspending their joint income for the entire marriage. Perhaps he ignored or avoided any attempts by her to reign in his spending. Perhaps she didn't feel she could say no to him; perhaps he didn't listen. They have both enabled each other to get to this place. Hopefully this gut punch will be a new start for both of them and their marriage.
It sounds like they used a credit card for everything and âwere supposed to pay it offâ. That works until it doesnât.
The pain in this man's voice đ bruh
Both people need to carry the weight of the decisions! Amen
Man I hate he has to clean up his wifeâs mess up.
He can simply file bankruptcy, then divorce, then move on with his life.
Sheâs going to have a mess to clean up too.
He needs to get a DNA test to make sure that those are even his kids.
At least he recognizes they do have a nice backyard indeed. Hope they are able to work through this mess.
Gosh this broke my heart. Hearing him cry. đ„ș
My sisters husband did the same for about $80k and she was mad at first but then she forgave him. Iâm not forgiving anyone who lied to me for $80k
Shopping ADDICTION
Sounds like my neighbors wife. Heâs passive.
Debt is slavery
Breach of trust
NOPE đ
I take care of the finances mainly, but my husband has access to view all of it and I also give him a run down of what everything is going towards every pay period. We make sure we agree on purchases that is beyond the necessities.
Heâs in denial of who he married. He should run quickly and co parent bc a lie is a lie.
"I'm guessing dinner that night was a little stressful" đđđđđđđđđ
Heâs like, ânah, we had steak, lobster like every nightâ đ
Moments like this make me hesitant to get married.
Don't do rice and beans. I lived on that when I was poor and I was seriously malnourished. It's better to combine yams and russet potatoes to maximize nutritional intake on very little money.
Lol, heard that line before..... whenever a woman hides something from a man.... once proof of the secret is exposed.... the excuse for not telling beforehand is always.... I was scared....