The surprising way to combat ghosting and breadcrumbing!
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- čas přidán 20. 04. 2020
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This video is about combatting ghosting and breadcrumbing and how to do it from a place of self-worth and being in your power.
This video will help you if you have been dealing with a breakup, been breadcrumbed, have a history of breadcrumbing, or are not sure what to do about an emotionally unavailable guy.
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I never take anyone seriously until they are consistent for at least a year. I am always prepared to walk away. When they ghost me, I block them right away! That way I don’t have to deal with them. Take your time before getting emotionally involved!
Way to go!! I might start doing this as well.
If it only was that easy
@@create-magic-with-Lynnie You need to practice. It's not impossible.
@@create-magic-with-Lynnie It's not easy but I don't know if having a set of rules is the right approach either. Sometimes there could be legitimate reasons someone does this. Although it's not acceptable and we should just let it continue, it could be understandable and forgivable.
@@bethka104 no it’s not there is no justification for ghosting someone it’s manipulative and mean spirited
Rejection is redirection!
Becky Vega Boom!
🙌👍
Jack Butler 👍🙌
Exactly 💯 true
Yes... means go to some other guy 😂😂🎉
Good, solid advice, Jack. You're not dating if you haven't met in person. Don't sleep with someone too soon. Don't invest much in the beginning. Guard your heart.
Lisa Cunningham Thanks Lisa! 🙏
I'm putting a padlock on it.....4 Years on my own and I fell in love with breadcrumb man.
That’s right. Keep your legs closed ladies. Then see if he hangs around?
Meanwhile live your life to its fullest.
The “dating” online thing is a mixed bag though. I’ve had two guys try telling me they weren’t cheating because their other women were just online. Nope. You are emotionally investing in someone else and ignoring me and our relationship to chat with them. That’s cheating. No doubt that other person isn’t who they think it is but they’re enough to ruin things with me.
Slowing down and not creating a story is hard to do when you feel like you’re in love with someone.
I'm into this stage rn... Hard
Yes! Especially when you get love-bombed
@@supernovax6867
Yes ...its all tactics to keep us hooked and keep coming back to bread crumbing im just plain bored at this point ..lets move on to better magic
And remember Men are putting alot of pressure on to get physical
@@assiabenslimane2589 riiight I was dumb thinkin yeah well this guy must really love me cause he been after me for over a decade BUT WAS HE REALLY THO🙄🤔 He had words for days but NO ACTION BEHIND THEM!! I remember him even tellin me every time I talk to you I learn more about you...However he did that so he can USE IT AGAINST ME!! Now he's ghosted me for the 2nd & LAST TIME👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾BYE & STAY GONE (Although come to think about it he has ghosted me here and there for the past 6yrs while i thought he was just being CONSISTENT..JOKES ON ME!!)
I met D a year ago. We started talking 30 days ago. We talked almost every day for an hour. He mostly initiated the calls. I called 2 days ago; no answer. I called yesterday; he told me he would call me back and didn't. I've heard nothing today and I'm not calling. Am I hurt? No! Am I devastated? No! I'm good. Next! Thanks for confirming that I'm in the right headspace.
Malicia Christian It would have been better if you didn’t talk to him every day for an hour. You were giving too much time to a man who had not earned it.
TheArtOfLove
This made me think! I had a similar thing with a guy, when we were video chatting and talking on the phone almost daily and I was so glad I had an instant connection with someone. I thought it was an exchange. But when he abruptly stopped talking to me (just texting) it really felt like he got what he wanted, female attention and emotional support.
Margarita M. So true!! Many use you to feel better. I block them so I never hear from them again. I never take them seriously.
@Mali J Sadly not true. There are also dangerous “helpers”…
He loved bombed you then ghosted you. You actually in just 30 days consistently gave him one hour of you time. You probably told him everything he needed to know to realize you are not the one. You didn’t make him work for nothing. You made yourself too available to him. You’re hurt in just 30 days?????? You don’t know him. You know his representative.
I’ve watched this video at least ten times now. The bit that’s like “‘Oh, he led me on.’ Did he? Or did you lead yourself on ‘cause you were high on your own distorted view of reality?” burns me every time. Thanks for yet another call to sobriety, Jack. Now the issue is acting in line with that sobriety and not acting in line with impulse and need and those other darker parts. Thanks again.
Glad that bit landed - hopefully a mini burn which prevents bigger burns in the future!
But we are at risk of gaslighting ourselves if we don’t call a situation correctly as some men do love bomb and future fake while dating.
@@skg9644 yeah I think it's important to acknowledge both aspects, he led me on AND I led myself on. You can take accountability for the part you played in it without ignoring the reality of their shitty behaviour too. And I say this because in the past I had been so focused on making sure I was taking accountability for my behaviour that it led me to completely ignore his and I let an asshole off the hook too many times. It was just another fantasy in the end. Balance in perspective is needed.
"Until I know I can really trust you, I'm not going to trust you." Powerful words!!! Best advise on ghosting and breadcrumbing I've ever heard! Thanks Jack!
Boom! Glad that resonated!
So good... what they do believe...not what they say
Love your comment❤
Very stoic, along the lines of Marcus Aurelius. Who said, and I paraphrase, “today I will meet idiots. I am aware & I accept it. I will not play with these idiots. I will let them idiot on by. Unbothered.” 😂❤❤❤❤
...”Perhaps you over-imagined that you knew who was in front of you.”... A very ‘A-HAH’ realization. Thanks for this👆🏻...makes perfect sense. This👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻...good, good stuff.
It's like being tricked.....in the name of love. To hand over your treasure a be given nothing in return. Only to feel dishonoured and exploited
Omg! I loooove the way you put it! Drop-off guys are just like bad drivers in a traffic and it is our responsibility to face the reality there are bad drivers in the traffic. You could not say it better.
Glad the traffic metaphor landed! 🙏
You only start to know somebody at the moment of separation, of quarrel, in the real moments of crisis.
After 3yrs and ghosting without any explanation. There were no expectations..unconditional love..The connection undeniable..but casual. Scared of the connection & runs. After 3 yrs its make it or break it. I expressed my feelings. I know my worth and expressed I deserve to be more than a option after 3yrs. No response.. it still hurts when you invested 3yrs of heart & soul into a connection.💔
Every man can ghost you. Don’t believe what any man says. Watch his words and his actions to see that they match. Back in the old days, men used to “go out for cigarettes” and literally just leave their entire family to start over. And there was no child support or women having a man’s job to be able to pay the bills. In the early 80s, my friend’s father just left FOREVER. You have to be okay on your own somehow.
Bread crumb me and you become one of the persons whose absence and presence in my life is of equal insignificance. My late husband knew how to do it , he was warm and friendly and talked me everyday during our lunch hour. I will not settle for less it is better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel alone.
Jack, Sirrrrrr you are dead on. As someone who is in therapy - you're advice is very much so aligned to what she says. You're one of few youtubers whose videos are scientifically based. Thank you!
Why thank you! I am happy this is aligned with what you're learning in therapy 🙏
Thanks Jack! I love your new addition of non-attachment to dating outcomes! Your words bring to my awareness a desire to increase my spiritual practices of circa 35 years, to bring more consciousness to possible dating scenarios up-front in connecting with men, to reduce the dating site frustrations I have experienced! Thanks!
He ghosted and breadcrumbed me the first time and I called him out on it. The second time, he had the decency to break up, to tell me we had to end it because it was going nowhere. He wanted to use me as a cash machine and I said no and it was his way of manipulating me or using me or simply getting out. So the second time we broke up. He texted back a couple of times to say hello but I was speechless. I barely texted anything and since then I have not looked back. My conclusion is that this is the way he does relationships. So it is what it is. It was an experience that made me stronger.
I love this concept. Don’t get into a premature relationship. Brilliant!
Great video, Jack. Every woman needs to hear this. Thank you!
Aww thanks! Appreciated 🙏
Damn, Jack! "PREACH! PREACH!" (Incredibly powerful and articulate!)
Preach! You joke, I did quite enjoy it when I got to speak from a pulpit a few years' back ;)
This was probably one of the BEST dating videos on CZcams I watched...and I watched a lot...also it's my big problem, living in wishful thinking/non reality and being disappointed.
Craft Bazaar Happy to hear! Yes wishful thinking was my default, it’s definitely something you can relax with practise 🙏
Generally, I’m pretty good about judging guys and letting go. I started dating a friend, I have known a few years. It did throw me for a loop when he ghosted me. I didn’t see it coming. So, now I’ve lost a friend and a boy friend. We can prepare ourselves for everything and still get a surprise.
I get why that would be hard to see coming. Guess at some level he wasn’t gonna be a friend?
This video has made me cry because the message in it made me realise a lot of things that perhaps i didn't want to acknowledge and admit to myself . like someone said , thank you for this call to sobriety. The truth is a hard pill to swallow , it hurts but then it sets you free.
Yes well said - it hurts but then it sets you free.
BEST ADVICE I HAVE EVER RECEIVED ON THIS TOPIC!!!! Yesss!!! I always let them take me from 0-120mph and go along for the ride only to then endure the pain of the slow fade, breadcrumbs or straight up ghost/discard. Thank you, Jack!
Yes, tame that 0-120! Thanks so much for the feedback, happy to hear that this was such a yes for you!
Your videos always remind me that life is balance, that even bad things is normal thing. Good and bad experiences are just part of the harmony itself. Always be present today, slow down, face the reality that will coming up. Thank you so much, Jack💙
Yes to that balance! You're welcome :)
As much as I agree with most of what you have said; no expectation dating is a recipe to be used.
💯
Can you say more? You mean you could get used by someone who has no intention of getting serious? No expectation doesn’t mean no authentic desire. It means not projecting your expectations in a way that has you not see clearly
So good Jack, needed to hear this.
Happy to be part of your community, Jack! 💪
Video was great! Thank you Jack 🙂
Another Fire message Jack! Thank you ❤️🔥❤️
Yeeeeess!! I appreciate how to the point you are in this video!
Your straightforward and practical advice really changed my mindset about dating. Going forward, I agree it's best to remain open to possibilities and have fun dating without expectations, know and accept that most will be in the "Not Our Guy" category. No one will be everyone's cup of tea, but everyone will be someone's, so don't set ourselves up for heartbreak by having unrealistic fantasies and putting our eggs in his basket prematurely by giving our hearts and bodies before he has proven by consistent actions over time that he really is "our guy." Be patient, observe and enjoy the process and life. Focus on enjoying lots of other things outside of dating and relationships. Those are my takeaways from this video. Thanks, Jack.
Bella Bong I like these takeaways, thank you for sharing 🙏
This video was what I needed sooo much Jack , can’t thank you enough for this 💗
Jack... I just discovered you. I needed this video so badly. I can’t wait to watch more !
Coming with the REAL deal here Jack!!! Appreciate you much.
I'd never heard of Ghosting and Breadcrumbing.....I'd been single for 10 years and thought I was ready but whoa this resonates with me 💯.....I've walked away 3 times now and I'm done with the emotional turbulence...... thankyou Jack 🙏
Dating is emotionally devastating. Better searching anywhere else.
Amazing!!! I’ve NEVER thought of it this way, thank you so much!
What a concept-reality! Thanks Jack, for putting it back into perspective. This was a surprising and fabulous video. Looking forward to more!
Love the passion you put into this. It comes from a good place - thank you. ☘
this video is SO good and so well made. I like your message and the way you are delivering it
Great insight Jack, hearing u just put my thought process on the right track, yes I have been breadcrumbed and ghosted and it hurts but ur words healed me. Thanks a lot.
Excellent breakdown! Great reality check. Thank you, Jack! 🤩
Oh wow, how refreshing, never thought of seeing it that way. This video format/delivery was 👍🏻
All of your are.
That was such a powerful video! I absolutely think that is so true. Thank you for you insight and wisdom. I'm learning so much from you! Thank you so much!!
This is the best video I’ve ever heard on dating and keeping it real. Thanks for your wisdom!
Pure gold! Sending this along to friends that have struggled with this as well
The best thing that happened to me this month is finding your channel!
You prevented me from experiencing so much pain in the time I was about to do so ❤️
Such a good, honest video, well done.
Great video Jack!
This is one of your best videos. Incredibly insightful thank you.
So grateful for this timely message. The truth hurts sometimes but thank you for delivering it in such a wholesome way. I needed this video today.
Yay! Happy to hear that 🙏
Love this brutal truth pill. Thank you!!! My first time here...pretty good material and great way of delivery!
It’s even better to reach a place that it’s actually hilarious to expect so much from someone they have infrequently met. You’ve absolutely nailed it Jack. Thank you. If he doesn’t know you he doesn’t owe you!
That's pithy!
Loved this video...brilliant and profound ! This is exactly what I needed to hear at this moment ! The advice is wonderful and such a great way too look at things ! I needed this wake up call....so thanks ! Much appreciated ! I find you very inspiring ! Cheers...stay well !
Amen, Hallelujah! Thank you, Brother Jack! Keep right on preaching. ❤️
Amazing! I needed to hear all of this!
Harriet Kaplan Right on!
Wow ! Thus is amazing info! A perspective I’m going to repeatedly listen to today.
Bang on as always, Jack. We need these messages delivered in this way ... directly. We’re so fortunate to have you!!! 🙏
Bang on! Thanks!! Awww :)
Spot on Jack !!! Really makes so much sense to have that kind of mind set..Thank for that..❤
Love the video! Not avoiding reality and setbacks is really the most freeing attitude we can have in life.
Yes, happy the freedom of that is resonating!
Empowering!! Thank you for teaching us how to protect ourself.👍
Hi Jack 💫 I love your passion in this video. You touched my heart.
Jack, you consistently empower me. I can’t even express how valuable your videos have been in my life. Thank you. It’s such a beautiful feeling to have a paradigm shift that frees me. Primarily because you’re not only giving real life context to a situation but you show me how I can make a change within myself, most often it’s in my thinking. I don’t even have to do anything that’s what’s so amazing! I just come to know and see an expanded reality that encompasses more truth. That is a very empowering feeling.
I really needed this. Thank you so much Jack. I'm going to apply this into my dating life and let time do the work for me.
Jack Thank You! Best advice! You are by far the best relationship coach on CZcams!
This one is excellent. Worth watching over and over again.
Jack, This is one of the best videos you have ever done and that I have ever heard and I’ve watched a lot of them. You just came out and said it and I love it❤Thank you
🤯🥊 You TRULY packed some powerful punches into becoming more accountable and sober in this video...THANK YOU for shedding light on the freedom behind becoming mindful of “co-creating castles in the sky”. 👍
I gave a big sigh of freeing relief toward the end of this video, you're a great sounding board, a wise soul, I enjoy listening to the way you see the world.
I like the reality check.
Thanks Jack.
That was great! Thank you for your amazing perspective that is full of amazing wisdom
This was a fantastic listen, Jack.
Awesome
Jacckkkk! I have so much love for you, thank you 🔥🔥
So glad I see this video on my feeds... grateful ❤️
Wow thanks for bursting my bubble .. I needed to hear this.. appreciate this a lot
Thanks for being open to it 🙏
God i'm ghosted by a married man i'm in love with so i'm watching all your videos those days to help myself to move on :D Thank you
Thanks for tuning in. Maybe tough spot this will teach you about self love & boundaries? 🙏
Brilliant Jack! Thank you!
Well it was nice of you to apologize for someone else's actions. Yes I agree.
Excellent! Life and attitude changing. 📽👋
Thank you, Jack!
You're welcome! 🙏
Such an eye opener for past and future relationships - thank you.
I recently took self deception to the next level by telling him and myself that I was not getting attached, but then falling for him hard. So that's the new behavior I have to guard against. I think your advice is saving my life.
WOW!! Jack I think one of your best!! Very SOBERING! THANK YOU! As always 🙏♥️
Sober does it! Thanks Bonnie! 🙏
Wow, Jack! you are a CATAPULT of TRUTH and REALITY together! RESPECT!!!
5 minutes in, loving this advice and description of situations that happen - this is gold! 💖🙌🏽
Thank you 🌟
One of the best videos I’ve ever watched. Thank you!
Yay 🙏😊
Thank you for showing insight on our own self rather than on the other person as it's very easy to blame someone else when in the first place it was our own expectations and high hopes about a situation. This really helped me get my thoughts straight.
Awesome, glad this helped
Amazing and a real eye opening message ..... Thank You Jack and more power .🖒❣
happy for that! 🙏
This is tremendous content, I'm literally shaking after a huge light bulb moment here! Jack you are a marvel 😇
Aww thank you! Happy to hear you're having reverberating breakthroughs!
Wow this is so amazing, thank you! 🌻
So many points of clarity in this video I had to listen multiple times. Yes when we expect too much especially from a stranger, we are setting ourselves up. The set up is already casting the guy in a role he hasn't proven himself worthy to even have. Yes to sobriety from the expectations drug!
Thank you, Jack. It's an enlightenment for my current situation. I've loved the work of you and Clayton. You guys have helped me clarify lots of doubts that I have for myself and the guys I've dealt with. You both are a godsend! :)
Aww thank you!!
Amazing Jake !
I can't thank you enough Jack. You have changed my life with this content.
Aw well good work taking it in!
this video is amazing. thank you very much! All the best,
I needed to hear this.
Loved this perspective - needed to hear this for sure!! Thanks Jack :)
😊🙏
BRILLIANT!
A hugely important message. Learning to be unsurprised by reality, and trusting in life.
Thanks, Jack!
Glad the importance of this landed, Christina!
'Tough love' indeed. There are so many relatable facts in each sentence, it's hard to keep up with so much excellent information. I will re-watch. Best advice ever. Thank you.
Wow! Perfectly said Jack. Thank you.
Great advice! ❤️
Thank you! I had to subscribe, this was very helpful advice.
You are so honest and no candy-coating. Thank you for what you share here, it's helpful.❤️🌻
Happy it’s helping 🙏