definitely just a chill Q&A
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- čas přidán 26. 07. 2024
- If you'd like to help with the rest of my shapeshifting, first of all thank you, and secondly you can do that here: ko-fi.com/theazrai
Preemptive apology to anyone who has feelings like I did about the last ten minutes of this video. And also to everyone else because when I don't write out a script, I talk with the exact cadence and energy of a grandpa.
Thank you very much to my patrons who keep me afloat (even when I get unhinged) and who submitted questions.
The song partially covered in the last minute is "Tear Down The House" originally by the Avett Brothers. I (obviously) own none of the Disney/Treasure Planet clips.
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🎨My favorite accessible body paint, and one that doesn't feel horrific to me:
Mehron paradise paint (water activated)
also Mehron CreamBlend color sticks are good if VERY well set with powder and sealant.
Mostly I like to use "cheats" like cosplay arm socks, body suits, etc. so I only really have to paint my face.
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⚔️Thank you for creating with me.⚔️ - Zábava
Everyone here's talking about that voice of honey... I'm here to talk about the 90's heartthrob looks Az is serving... totally here for both!
As a trans girl who went through her before times as a real life pirate on a ship, I highly recommend you pursue the experience.
The sea doesn't care about the size of your hips, it only cares about the quality of your soul.
Blessed be
This is incredible thank you 😭
Reminds me of the line from HTTYD 2, "You have the heart of a chief, and the soul of a dragon"
The fact that the potions helped your chronic illness really is destiny like you said. You are becoming who you truly are, that's absolutely amazing. Love this q&a and finding out that it would, as I had suspected, be fascinating to sit and sip tea with you Iroh style. 💚
"The loss of time is in my bones." might be one of the best damn lines ive heard in a while. Happy new year and, the section on "trans grief" hit me hard cos, as a trans girl, thats a hard hitting subject. Feeling like your life was stolen from you and you just, arrived as your destination when you dont even resent the fact your life happened because you like the person who you are, and you wouldnt be that person without the shit you go through. Really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for talking about this, I just dont hear a lot of people, talk about this kind of stuff. While I'm here, you have an amazing singing voice, and as a musician, I applaud you. Was that a banjo you were playing or baritone ukulele at the end? I fuckin love your background projected galaxy and I hope your doing alright. Thanks for the video mate, take as much time as you need, and I hope your move goes well.
omg your voice is so nice and warm. and I like the light and background.
Thank you very much- It's hard to gauge your own voice, I appreciate it! And these lights soothe me whole soul 😂
I knew that title was up to something. Your voice though is instantly so warm and resonant and soothing. And yeeesss!!! to the treasure planet lighting.
heheheh thank you so much!
@@Azrai I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to seem like I'm sitting in the hull of a space pirate ship chatting with the cabin boy and listening to his adventure stories while the other sailors sleep. The vibes on your videos are always immaculate. Comforting fantasy escapism to the max. Even the "chill Q&A's" are art. I couldn't love anything more. Thank you for sharing your creativity.
@@trying_my_bestest This got me in my heart guts actually... Thank you. That means a lot. You're very kind 💚
@@Azrai only fair for all the times you've gotten me in the heart guts I suppose. Thank you sharing your story and helping others connect over the emotions storytelling can bring. Your art has meant a lot to me.
Yes
Someone sign him up to be cabin boy on a voyage across the seas. He needs his right of passage aboard a tall ship to become a rugged sailing man with dreamy, wavy hair.
Thank you for liking my comment Az, i just finished the vid and oml that song at the end was so pretty. Is there a full version cover somewhere?
@@glenngriffon8032 both of these comments made me feel seen. Thank you 💚 This is just a snippet of a song I sing to myself lately, I've only recorded this bit so far. But maybe soon 👀 the original is very good though.
@@Azrai Aye i just gave it a listen, very nice. Thanks for introducing me to a new band. Still though I'd like to hear you sing more. I like the way your voice has deepened.
As for feeling seen, i hope that's a positive thing after hearing you describe the feeling of being a cryptid that must not be seen 😋
AZ voice then: Nervous cute bean
Az voice now: CHAD CHADINGTON
I LAUGHED TO SUDDENLY I HURT MYSELF
@@Azrai thanks, i love your videos and i love that you talk about neurodivergent imersive experience as an autisctic person, relate with a lot of topics that you talk about and helped to understand the trans/lgbt experience. even as a (mostly) straight man
Bro YOUR VOICE IS SOOOO GOOD AZ!! 10/10
😳💚
can't remember where i heard this but "everytime someone tells us who they are, the world becomes a better place". And i really felt this when watching your video
and also your decor and storytelling style always make me travel, i love it
Az,
When you started talking about trans grief, I immediately felt my own tears coming. It's something I've been realising myself recently as a recently cracked trans woman, that a big part of my life hasn't been my own, or really real, or what I now would've wanted them to be. It feels so incredibly, extremely unfair, to have to start over with less time than everybody else. Luckily, most people around me have been super supportive and I am so incredibly thankful for that. But I never really learned how to care for my hair, how to do my makeup, how to make outfits etc, and on top of that, I'll always have testosterone-induced height and facial features (unless i get surgeries for the latter). When you said 'it's in my bones', damn, I felt that.
Idk why I'm writing this, maybe just as a lil 'i understand' as cheesy as that may sound but also I am a stranger on the internet who can't really support you with anything other than words, views, and likes. Maybe it's mostly just a little rant about these feelings I've been having lately. welp, time to put that on the list of things to talk with my new therapist about heh
Same with Treasure Planet. That whole movie is about coming into your own and finding a life to live, and "I'm still here" makes me tear up a little bit each time.
Everything about this video is 10/10. The voice, the look, the lighting, the set dressing, the content, the music, your incredible honesty and vulnerability. I've been in a creative slump recently, but your videos never fail to leave me all itchy and inspired to make things again.
Az, I am so grateful for you and seeing your journey. My partner identifies more as non-binary right now, and seeing your progress helped me understand more their side. They have a hard time with words as well and don't always know how to express to me. So seeing others helps me understand a bit. I know it's not your job, but you absolutely did teach me along the way. I really am so happy for you. SO SO happy for you. I am sad to hear that you grieve right now, but I hope it's a part that becomes smaller and smaller as you become more fulfilled in your new life. Thank you so much for living your life and being yourself.
There is such a special place in my heart for you and your art. Didn’t mean for that to rhyme, but it’s kind of fun. Was so excited to see this notification!
!! yes i feel the same!
That wasn’t the cadence of a grandpa, Az. Take it from someone who is one. (8 grandchildren) That was the cadence of an intellectual who is blind drunk, but determined to enunciate clearly so that no point can be misunderstood. (Another situation I am familiar with through personal experience) Some of the tangents here also suggest that you may be high as a kite. (Again, been there.) But, (and this is the important part), everything you said was clearly from your heart. Thank you, for caring enough about us to share moments like this. It’s been nice, finally getting to know you and watching you get to know yourself. I’m sure there are aspects of your journey that I will never understand. But, I appreciate the opportunity to learn what I can comprehend. BTW, in case nobody has told you, you’re doing wonderful. Keep being true to yourself. 🤠👍
me, who is stone cold sober at all times: 🧍
😂 I am losing it but somehow I appreciate this
such an amazing video, you have the magical ability to make a chill q&a seem like a small fantasy adventure to wich i can fall asleep to, thank you azrai, evrytime i see you pop up i get so happy, truely thank you for being so epic inspiring and cool (also btw sorry for the bad english! :o) anyway have an amazing time
Your english is great and I am honored- thank you 💚
I love seeing you becoming yourself! It's been a journey that I've been taking alongside you. but It's bittersweet, I've been on it since 2018 so on the beginning I'd see you and I could go "oh! I remember when that was me!" but now you've grown so fast and now I'm here thinking "I can't wait till that's me". In an odd way it's vaguely reminiscent of watching your children leave home them themselves having grown up leaving you behind. There's a sense of mourning to it, but I'm so happy and so proud of you, and I wish you all the best on your continued journey
Man you hit me right in the feels again, and then I go on to hit myself as well
Gee your coming out video was the nudge for me to come out to myself and I always get so emotional seeing you grow through these months. You are just a stranger in my screen and I am totally projecting, but there is beauty in the strength it takes to embrace your true self and I am so proud of you and me both. Always happy to see more content from you ^^
I'm not crying, you're crying! That was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I might have to listen to this song on a loop for a bit.
Aaand once again sobbing at your videos, thank you so much for opening up about all of this 💕
I guess that's my new comfort video :) you're doing such a great job, thank you Az 💚
Your voice is just so soothing to listen to. It’s been a great adventure, watching you grow as a person, and your journey is so inspiring. Almost cried there at the end :)
i'm so happy that i randomly decided to watch this video while doing the dishes, cut to me bursting into tears towards the end but everything you said in your update felt like you took the words that have been swirling around my brain for the past few months and said them out loud. it's insane and i am so insanely happy for you. this video gives me so much hope, that someday it won't feel like i've been living inside my head my entire life
I will just say, experiiencing you and your content brings me so much joy, you're truly an amazing person
Something in this song touched my soul in a way I didn't know I needed.
Just need to say that the atmosphere in this video is absolutely incredible. In particular the background music is at the perfect volume (at least for me). So good!
i don’t think i can adequately convey my excitement when i saw this notification 🤍🤍 literally LOVE this content from u!
I love the Dwarven Forge but life sized idea
I’m not sure how to express how happy and whole this video made me feel.
10/10 job. The background really brought the vibes. And I love the small jars in the back. Reminds me of spell jars
i'm only a minute in and this feels so cozy, so safe, and so queer. your voice and your lighting and your just...existence makes me feel like i'm being wrapped in a warm accepting blanket. can't wait to hear what you actually have to say
augh like. the way you articulate the trans adhd experience™ really resonates with me, and that sense of grief for lost time is something that i'm still grappling with. thank you for talking about it; it makes me feel like it's something I'll eventually be able to talk about, too.
i'm coming up on my 2 year anniversary of starting T and 1 year anniversary of top surgery. despite the panettone and everything i feel more at peace in my life than i ever have before, and it makes me so happy to see other people finding that kind of peace.
looking forward to seeing more of your weird and wonderful projects in the future! ✨
From the aesthetic to the music to calm cozy voice you have, everything about this video is just so relaxing and like an adventure home 🥰 I love it
One of my favorite things about your updates and videos in gener is seeing how happy you are now. You're such an inspiration to me, and above everything else, I'm just so excited for you to spend the rest of forever as the you you're meant to be. (God I hope that wasn't too cheesey. Have a teapot because now I feel awkward🫖)
You always so good at putting these things into words. "A ghost piloting a robot" is very relatable. Feeling like Pinocchio. Thank you.
Your talking about your experience is amazing and helpful. You're awesome.
Great video and great questions!
Always nice seeing you, Azrai :)
This video was queued up, and I started falling asleep while watching the previous video... The way I jolted awake when this video started playing bc your voice sounds so delightful, omg. I could listen to an audiobook read by you. I thought your voice was deep when I heard it last, but damn, it caught me so off guard. Anyways, haha, it's great to hear things are looking up and I'm super excited to see what projects you're working on. As always, really enjoyed this esthetically pleasing video.
Was absolutely shook at how much your voice had dropped! You're sounding astounding, Az!
It’s so good to see you living as yourself your true self, you look amazing and happy. Im glad our world is starting to become more accepting of people even if it is just a little at a time.
For the record Az...I did turn on all my space lights so it felt more immersive. This video was so comforting and felt so cozy, like we were just sitting together having tea and talking about our worlds.
Also you talking about the grief you feel...though I haven't been through your exact experiences...thank you for talking about this. Being someone who has always felt like a ghost in a body and has started to wake up from seeing who I really am...yeah. A lot to process but...I can't fully express how it hit me but thank you.
Also the 4:30 AM jam sesh was too real.
We all love you AZ and I personally can't wait to see what you accomplished next in your true form💕💕💕
I've only just gotten around to watching this Az, and it was so wonderful to hear more about you and your thoughts, opinions, dreams etc.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I am wishing nothing but the smoothest or rides when it comes to new places to call home 🥰
Az, do NOT feel you need to be 110%, I love hearing from you at any time, but I also don't want you feeling like you need to be a certain level. I'm not gonna lie, I love you, man (as like a brother, not like THAT), and I want to see you happy and do as you will. I hope you never feel a need to make videos if you don't feel it, man. Do as you feel, take it chill. Love your stuff no matter what, dude.
So amazing to see you coming into your own! Congratulations!
thank you so much for your words ❤️ it’s been difficult to articulate the kind of deep sorrow and loss I’ve been feeling and the conflicting appreciation of myself and what it took to get me here. It feels amazing to know there are others out there that feel the same way, but I know that means we’re hurting. I wish every happiness to you and my fellow adventurers on each of our journeys, and I hope we can take all the time we need and find peace someday
im now watching the end since falling asleep last night and im now crying too i feel so bad for you, im so sorry you had to go through this
usually, there is no question you can ask a trans person that they havent already asked themselves countless times already, and they probably wouldnt have come out if they hadnt answered that question satisfactorily to themselves, and that answer can totaly be that they dont know yet or that it doesnt matter. so asking questions that doubt their identity is kinda insulting their inteligence, and making them doubt things they were certain about, which just makes people miserable. so even if you do it with the best intentions, just make sure your own doubts dont become their doubts. being trans comes with enough struggles as it is, and being doubted by loved ones doesnt help
I love that you look forward to things now! ❤️
This was such a needed video for me, like spending a lovely coffee cafe chat with you. I love you so much and appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
I clicked the video and got absolutely BODIED by your voice jksadhfaskj this is amazing omg.
You laughing makes me so happy. That ending though, uff,
I just got around to watching this video, and I was pleasantly surprised to see my question as the first!! Thank you for the insightful answer Az, sorry for being so broad lol.
I love you, and I love your art. you're such a huge inspiration to me. 💜💜💜
Az! Thanks for hanging out and catching up with us 😄 love the idea of the Zelda park!!! Looking to enjoying your art along with you. Till next time ☕
Your a wonderful person and i love you and your videos, they help me get through my day❤ and ill be here wherever you go❤❤❤🌟🌟
There's always something reassuring to me when you talk about ADHD and your special interests, as someone with it myself. I can completely relate, and it makes me happy seeing you just embrace those hyperfixations as something that can be celebrated :). It reminds me that I can as well.
Thank you for being open about your transition journey. I've been struggling with my own gender for the past 3-ish years, and seeing a fellow costumer speak honestly about those feelings is so therapeutic for me, and I am sure it is for others too. Thank you!
Thank you
And thanks for including the singing portion at the end. I hope to be able to sing confidently one day, when Im able to be on T too. You sound great.
Your becoming has been absolutely magnificent to behold. Welcome to your truest human experience. I wish you all the opportunities in the world to live the life of your dreams that exceed any prior experiences
Good god I love your set. The whole thing is my aesthetic vibe. Ii shall watch the video now. I just felt the need to gush the moment I laid eyes on it.
Loving the background and you of course!
Welcome to your life Azrai. You're home now. Thanks for sharing a small piece of it.
Oh baby, your virtual auntie holds you in so much love. Blessed be. 🦋
Just want to drop a quick thank you that since I've been following you for a year or two, hearing your stories about your trans experience has helped me finally grow into understanding I'm non-binary, and therefore I've learned how to truly enjoy my life to the fullest. Thank you for explaining your experience, because it's absolutely helped so many people including myself to truly be who they are.
i was sitting here having a panic over ur voice (bless T) and then u stARTED SINGING AND OM G
thank you. thank you so much.
Az, the video has only been up for 2 hours but I have already watched it 3 times. Once in 2x speed so that my ADHD brain could concentrate on the content better, once in normal speed to soak up the atmosphere and hear your actual voice and a third time to combine the aforementioned. However, I cried with you every single time. Much love from Iceland 💗💗💗
I will be forever grateful for this video. Tysm. 🧡
Your videos bring me so much happiness, look at you, you are so wonderful.
Hey. I just wanted to say I’m glad you feel more connected to your life now! Keep doing what makes you happy and I hope you have a wonderful life going forward! You’re an awesome content creator. Have a good day/night!
I don’t if it’s the music (which I just need the playlist like now) or the lighting. But just watching this video just made me feel like seeing an old friend and watching them be happy for the first time in a while
I've said it before and I will say it again; your singing voice remains a haunting one - thank you for sharing with us
OMG!!
I just watched your video about your journey and discovery of being a transmasc, and I am amazed about the transformation.
Not only your voice, which sounds so different and amazing, but also your whole demeanor.
You are an amazing person and a very brave one for showing us your journey ❤
I love your channel ❤ love the background
i definitely went on an i'm still here kick because of you. it is a really good song with a lot of really personal messages
I agree. I’m glad it’s found a place with us as mostly adults now, especially happy to see it adopted as a sort of transmasc anthem in some spaces.
@@Azrai oh for sure. I storyboarded a music video with some other characters to the song, and i got very emotional during the process from having to break the lyrics down and listen to it so many times. never followed through finishing it but maybe i will eventually
I'm also transmasc, so Az's videos bring me so much comfort. I also feel immeasurable grief about the time that i lost to not knowing myself.
Dirk Gently's!!! yes!!! its just so good.
I also love how much you look like Peter Pan now (maybe it's the green shirt idk). Anyway, I want to thank you for sharing your journey because seeing you so happy with the changes you've made always puts a smile on my face. Great QnA! =)
Oh way to hit me in the feels, oh no. First of all, thank you for putting into words all the feelings that I've been feeling. I needed to hear that. Feeling the weight of the years that could have been, had I known who I was sooner, is a very hard thing to deal with.
Thank you. Just... thank you.
Your honesty helps me through a lot of my own neurodiverse grief and chaos.
I wish the best for you and your journey.
(Too many emotions for better words. Sorry)
This was so very lovely
Hey Az, been going through some not-so-fun health stuff and listened to this while trying to clean my space to feel better. It was incredibly calming and cheered me up a lot just listening to you talk. Ive followed you for awhile and its awesome seeing you outwardly becoming the guy you are on the inside; its amazing and I'm cheering you on from the sidelines. I know its been a very painful mourning process, and I have a trans friend who shares some experiences you describe that I cant even begin to pretend to know how that feels. Im just a stranger but Im so proud of you. I'm excited to see more of your creations whenever you have the emotional spoons to do them. They bring me back to when I was a kid and whose first hyperfixation was peter pan and the fae. I'm also excited for you to move into a new space and continue more along your trans journey. Thanks for the Q&A and I love treasure planet cover. ✨
Listening to you talk about trans grief took me out at the knees in a way that definitely made me feel seen in the “hey family, you’re safe and welcome here” kinda way, and also in the “oh yeah definitely need to schedule a therapy appointment” kinda way. One of the things that we don’t get told about in transitioning is that we are going to have to grieve, and even if things weren’t all bad, there’s still a sense of loss. Hearing you say “for me, that means the loss of time is in my bones” hit really hard. I’m sorry you have to feel that loss too, and I hope that giving yourself the space to grieve means that you’ll have even more space for joy in the future. Thank you for being open about that part of your transition. It makes me feel a lot less lost and lone in mine. (PS: got me out here crying hearing you sing with your voice drop, when the potions have been making that harder for me - thanks for that too, it was needed) 💙
holy eff, that voice!!! made me tremble!!!
Good to see you!
AYY I WAS THE 1K-TH LIKE LOL
dude it was weirdly satisfying to see the # change
Your voice could melt butter 💜
BASS (the choir nerd in me got excited, lovely voice my guy)
To Az and the whole azrai community: You look great today!
I am just so happy for you.
Thank you friend 💚
Thank you your voice made me cry the fact that one day my voice could become something similar when I can finally start testosterone is so comforting. Also just missed you and your content
This was a very interesting and informative video. I am proud of who you've become and can feel the strength in your voice as you tell us the journey you've been through.
I can relate to several points, and while I am not trans I did leave a country where I was not allowed to be who I was, and feeling like a mere outsider while everyone else got to live their life.
Not sure if I have found a place to call "home" but its been better.
I wish you happiness and love Az, been a follower of yours for years and you are a genuine good person who will make it through, I believe in you. :)
I really wish I could find a way to be connected to earth. I don't remember a time where I didn't feel like a ghost. I'm glad to see you found a way forward 🖤🖤🖤
uhm.. [calculating and organising words]
the.. amount of.. of how much i relate to you.. it honestly brings me to tears everytime. no exaggerations. idk if u can.. somehow understand that ̶i̶̶f̶ ̶u̶̶ ̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶n̶ ̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶r̶̶e̶̶a̶̶d̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶m̶̶e̶̶n̶̶t̶ but.. i admire u sm, it's almost on spiritual level.
but I'm no obsessive simp, just to state that👀 i rly respect u too much for that (that sounded like simping, didn't it? ._.)
i uh.. i rly don't know what much more to say then that. You're simply just an immense inspiration for me.
Just that.. i seem not to have the same resources as u, which kinda makes pursuing my chosen path of life quite.. rocky.
I kinda just want to keep my word flow going, to just express that.. that..- but i don't wanna overdue it and make u freak out ^^°
All left to say is....... i wish u all the best?? since you've arrived.. "in urself" and.. yea. •-• just good luck with life ig.
Respectful,
Nicolas Fox
oK BUt tHEir sINGING VOICE IS SO NICE I LOVE HIM SM
Everything you make is so beautiful :)
That song at the end ❤️❤️❤️❤️
that comment at 30:11.... hoo boy. I've been out as trans for a little over two years now, but I will literally never forget my mother telling me "you're the least trans person I've ever met" when I first came out to her in 8th grade. I lost so much time to being the daughter I was expected to be, and that whole section on trans grief hit a LOT harder than I was expecting. I've never been able to fully verbalize any of my thoughts and emotions about being trans and what that meant for my past, but hearing you put it into words I almost started crying. I'm so grateful to be along for your journey, thank you for being honest and sharing your voice and experience with all of us.
Oh my God I wish I had your voice. I'm melting!