Dr. Phil, author of "Life Code," shares tips with Dr. Sanjay Gupta about how to get rid of toxic people from your life. For more CNN videos, visit our site at www.cnn.com/video/
I don't know why people don't realize this. I guess we are taught from a young age to believe in the automatic transformative power of love. You can not love someone out of mental illness.
@@emichaels1920 I did that, and have never felt better. You can not "love" someone else into becoming a better person. You can only change yourself, and follow the right path for you.
That GUT feeling is actually the Holy Spirit warning you to stay away from certain people even if its family members. I avoid family gatherings to avoid certain people but I visit the safe family members separately instead.
In my experience toxic people and narcissistic people are one in the same. Never ever ever give them a second chance bc if you do they will take it as a sign of weakness in you and they will treat you worse than before!
Just because you're related to someone DOESN'T MAKE THEM FAMILY❗Family members are loving, loyal and trustworthy❣ Those fake, phony, backstabbing kin folks are just people you're RELATED to💁
Yes to both comments above. Twice I've been caught with the initial image/behavior as the bait, then the real person emerges. Currently have a friend/love interest who shows all the signs of playing me, lacks empathy, arrogant/all about him/lack of regard for my feelings, my time and my life, selfish all the way. Currently ghosting him because I realise he is toxic and I deserve better, even from a friendship. Time to let him drift off into my distant memory 😁
Forgot to say that I see the person he 'could be', but he simply isn't that person. I miss who I thought he was when we first met and feel ripped off that he changed on a dime immediately after that. Keeps turning up in my life to do it to me all over again. Not anymore though.....
LOVE THIS COMMENT, trucker wrecker! Years ago, a woman I admired who was one of my many mentors said, "If that man left another woman for you, he will do it to you, too!" Unfortunately, I had to find that out the hard way! (CRINGE!)
It takes one time for people to show their true colors, ONE TIME. Depending on the person, extract yourself from that person. Instinct doesn't lie. Trust your instinct.
I immediately thought of my biological mother when Dr. Phil said, "These people typically DO NOT change"...he is 100 percent correct. You must protect yourself even if it's from a relative.
Yes ! I would agree ! When you have to EXPLAIN to someone how a certain situation has made you feel (because they have NO ability to put themselves in your shoes ...so to speak) or block your attempt to expose the TRUTH about what has already transpired or block you from succeeding....TIME to go !
" You miss who you wish they were" literally me right now. I know she's toxic, and yet I still miss her, but in truth i don't miss her as she is, but who I wish her to be.
Dr. Phil is right, People who constantly gossip about others to you will gossip to others about you. I used to work with a toxic coworker like that, I gave her the cold shoulder from day one, too bad others didn't and believed all her lies.
I am a kind person with a lot going on for me as I created my life by being good to myself and people, having goals and reaching them. I finally set STANDARDS, finally at 45. I have no time for users, manipulators and toxic people....including family. Guess what... my life is great! Take care of yourself and be surrounded by grateful people.
Yes,cut them out,completley,even if it's just someone you have never even met or spoken to,that you simply follow on the internet. If your instincts are telling you that they are bad news or you are getting bad vibes like fuck,its for a reason,cut them out. This happened to me a few times but I just kept "giving them the benefit of the doubt" over and over and over until finally I was like this BAD energy coming from this person has got to GO,cut them OUT,asap.
Drama, chaos, and crazy making ! Because it is ALL about CONTROL ! If they do not have control of the situation or you, they will CREATE a situation that may use your good nature of helping against you and FORCE you to respond to them or so they can get their way ! In addition, money may be used as a weapon to keep you poor, down, and controlled, thus entangled in their web so to speak, to rely on them, so they can abuse you some more !
Woah.... having never watched this clip before I've recently come to the conclusion that I must gather 'data' about people before deciding what kind of relationships, if at all, I would have with each new person that enters my life. Blind trust is a thing of the past.
These type of people prey upon you because they sense your vulnerability and normal positive nature (a sure sign of an easy kill). Their false face lures you into their lives with charm and grace, while their real face hits you when your back is turned.
Yep, there are plenty of narc therapists. They are nefarious and manipulative but can go around pathologizing others and wear their therapist credentials like a badge of mental health and superiority.
Oh my word! Your mother is a narc. and a therapist. Imagine all the abuse, manipulation, and triangulation you mother has exposed her patients to. Since she treats you bad, I hate to imagine how she treats her clients. She is a danger to her clients and society. I hope her clients realize her behavior is off and unprofessional, and seek another therapist. Due to her own doing, I also hope she does not have many clients to serve. Oh my gosh, someone in crisis and your mother being their therapist could cause so much damage and trauma to the client that it would be life threatening.
I have a neighbor that fits this profile. Very negative and berating to everyone, very unhappy and wants to take it out on everyone else because they are not miserable like her. She looks for ways to tear people down and gets way too personal. For example, she had the gall to say "I don't know why you even got married if you are not going to have kids. That's the only reason to get married in the first place!" After that, I lost the very last little bit of respect I had for her and never wanted anything to do with her EVER AGAIN! How dare she criticize my decision to be married to the man I love! I've been married to him for almost 15 years. He was in my life long before her and will be long after I've forgotten about her.
good for you. just ignore her. do not react. she feeds off your reactions, so just refuse to and it will drive her nuts. and sidenote, i hate when people act like having kids is the end all/be all of life. maybe i wouldnt feel this way if there werent so many unadopted, abandoned orphans in the world, but people who decide to have their own kids (instead of adopting) and then judge others for not having any?? they can go fuck themselves.
VikingLady219 My mother died when i was 18 and my father when i was 33 . One Christmas my uncle asked me in front of the whole family " Did your mother stop smoking before she died ? " . I left the dinner table upset and angry . No apology from the uncle ! Told my dad i needed to see a therapist . My family are toxic , have treated me with indifference through the years . They didn't even lift a finger to help me sort out my father's papers after he died . As if i was in any state to attend solicitors meetings and tend to administrative matters in the state . I am the living proof that family is not always what you expect !
+tazoz100 Boy do I know how you feel. I have a sister with mental issues and a brother who will not help at all. He classifies my sister as co dependent and says she has to stand on her own when in truth she needs to be monitored. I can empathize with you about your family. It feels awful but in truth i don't need those folks in my life who don't care about me, family or otherwise.
It’s hurts to be disrespected. Have learned when it happens in that moment say I feel disrespected . I feel it raises my self esteem to communicate calmly to person who is nasty . I feel worse if I remain silent or lash out at such people .
I am so glad you said therapy makes these people worse. Never take an abusive spouse to therapy, if they want to change, they will change on their own. Therapy will make them more angry and resentful towards you for putting them through the annoyance of faking it for an hour to a therapist.
Everywhere you go these days there is always someone who wants to exploit your good nature, your trust, the good Samaritan you maybe and crush you, rob you, and generally screw you over for no real valid reason. I have always found that anyone who has no idea on how to handle a of position of power (ie incompetent managers) or even how to speak to someone civilly are usually the ones you got to watch out for, how ever there is also other citizens in everyday life like your neighbors, the building mangers, even your friends that will try to play mind control games, so best to keep learning about their sneaky tricks to destroy you..... for again no valid reason.
This is one of those things that is so damn hard to learn. I have a tendency to want to save people. 'I have bells going off in my head?' You don't tell your friends that. Don't become a poison pill because you become the target. Distance is easy to gain. Just be lukewarm and don't explain yourself.
I've had to get rid of a few "friends" who were so toxic and negative. After a year of being away from them, I am so glad I kicked them to the curb. I feel a sense of hope now that they were stealing from me.
I grew up with narc parents. Its quite safe to say their toxicity has affected me a lot. Its made me sad and angry at them for everything they took away from me. I wantbto go no-contact but I don't know how,I'm only 18...
+mikah ong try for as long as you can to stay around. if you are financially dependent it will be difficult. but you are stronger than you think. they want you to believe that you are nothing and incapable without them so they can continue their abuse. but you can do it. i left my house at 17. i'm finally going no contact at 24. you can do it.
+mikah ong the worst part is that normal people will 'smell' the pain in you and will run away. Like me, you will die alone or end up in a relationship with a narcissist who feeds on your pain.
mikah ong At 18 you can work on your career and study Dave Ramsey on finance. Keep your goals and ideas to yourself because toxic and narsassist do not want you to succeed. They will do what ever they can to see you fail and will enjoy talking about it and watching. If you know on your gut your family is toxic slowly work on moving away not towards them.
Iv had a very long journey with this abuse..im 43. But my recovery was slow and in stages. I want to tell you this. Know that this is real. What you dealing with. You are not imagining..or crazy..you have a false self that is the one they created and this is where your emotions are also ..the bond. Then you also have your true self. Its you..from positive feedback you get ..from a smile of a stranger from nature..quiet time..or watching tv..anything or place where you experienced yourself ..and that is the real you ..and the one the world is connected to. Teach yourself to seperate from the false one..its merely an illusion from their 'disability' to build and nurture and love..its not you .and not your fault. I know how painful and tough this is. Now .keep building the other one. You might feel sad that you cannot share yourself with them truly..but if you keep going you will one day feel happy that you made it. That life will be better ..when you live it through your true sense of self and it will be less and less hard and less consequencial as your life gets fuller..please check pinch me living..channel. Might be helpful. I wish to do some helping becos I know what you are in. Theres alot to learn ..but with the strength of tools ..your inner voice ..from connected to yourself ..by sitting quietly. .you will get better at it. I wish you much love and strength and wisdom. Liah xx
Usually if you find that somebody is dishonest in one area, they'll be dishonest in every area up until you challenge them, and if they dont budge just walk away and forget about that person.
I totally loved this video. Amazing. When he said: "To give someone the benefit of the doubt, that's crazy!" Yes! It's so good to hear him say that, and also to say that the opposite is also wrong, to judge. The best is to gather data and learn about the person that way. Why didn't they teach us that in school? Reminds me also of Eckhart Tolle's comment about a question in regards to trusting people. He said: "Trust? Yes! Trust everybody!" Then he giggled and said: "Trust that they will act according to their level of consciousness". Ha ha. Cracked me up. See a snake for what it is.
If I come in contact with you or I talk to you over the phone and the conversation leaves me drained depressed and upset there’s a problem I have to get rid of you or keep you at a very safe distance
Dr Phil is wonderful. The way he addresses situations and people so straight on is refreshing and perfect. So many ah ha moments like this one! Why the hell SHOULD benefit of doubt be given first. Isn't it so common sense not to and ludicrous that we are taught to? Wow.
This is a great video. I left a Narcissist. His family are secondary abusers and also participated in the targeting etc. They have money and just enable their son to mistreat and abuse women.
You can tell he really feels personally about this issue and this book. Its very powerful to see him so personally intertwined with his work in this way. Powerful.When he speaks about after a while, you seem to miss that person. But really you miss who you WISH that person was. Nailed it.
i was dating a guy for a year and i thought he would change. I have been emotionally drained and stressed. I thought he was going to change but he kept on abusing me, lacked empathy, care and very evil all e 8 things Dr Phil spoke about. I have cut him out and its time to heal.
ruramai tutu, I am STILL HEALING from two very "subtle" abusive men! Keep the faith and cut the ties! NO ONE IS WORTH the abuse....NO ONE! And please don't ever think that you can "change" him or think they might change. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF!!! Don't "open that door" for just anyone! Know that you are BEAUTIFUL...JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
heal, baby. I was married to a Narrsesist for 35 years, we have 2 daughter's 5 delightful grandchildren. Guess I will never totally get rid of the Clown; however this summer, I am going to marry my best friend and soulmate. Ex is having a cow he is rasist, and my fiancee is mixed his father was from Kenya. lol I am from Copenhagen Denmark and live in Montgomery Alabama, and I don't have a rasist bone in my body. I am loving my life and have never been happier. I am 66 years old and Handicapped 100% , my fiancee is 24, a very old Soul in a young man's body, hi mom is 74 years old and in the last stages of Alzheimer's disease. allways stay ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ happy.
Lily, GOOD FOR YOU!! It took me YEARS to figure this out! But be on alert, Miss Lily! As young as you are, you are probably going to meet more of them, but at least you have learned to identify who/what they really are!
@@markrutherford6010 I typically communicate why I choose to disassociate myself from people. How they react from my disassociation isn't my concern- knowing that is the trick😉
I sure wish I had heard this advice fifty years ago. It would have saved my psychological life. The messages I got from my mother was a litany of, “YOU can’t do that”, “You cry too much”, “Why do you always paint the same thing?”, and after reading my star chart, “Isn’t that SICK?” When I was born and my two grandmas came to congratulate her and welcome me, her comment was a sarcastic, “I SAW her! I realized she was jealous of me when my Dad bought me a BEAUTIFUL bedspread, and when I got boobs. She forced me to attend family gatherings which were tortuous to me, BECAUSE they were tortuous to me. She interfered with my boyfriends and would not let me see them. The same interference in the form of a triangle with my second husband covered up their knowledge of my husband’s molesting my beautiful daughter for a decade. When I was 52 years old, she and my Dad went in my house and stripped it of everything I owned. . . Furniture, clothing, jewelry, sentimental items, my business, with all my beautiful letters of recommendation, appliances, my substantial library, EVERYTHING! They ransacked my life, and got rid of Absolutely EVERYTHING!!! Overcoming this life-long series of put-downs , and being dissed at every turn ultimately became impossible to overcome. Despite a self-made career in the arena of childbirth, the creation of The Center For The Sacred Feminine as well as the creation of Hypnotic Childbirth: Mother Nature’s Intention , a comprehensive set of five classes, and accomplishing the completion of a BS, MS, and finally a Ph.D. in my 50’s, they managed to take me down permanently. No longer able to work, and left with a serious mental illness because of all this, I finally broke. Now I stare at walls, read books, and sometimes watch brain-numbing TV programs. My brain is mush, I cannot socialize, and I’m tired of living. TMI? At least it’s therapeutic to put it out there. If you read all this, thank you for listening. 🙏🌹❤️
for me almost everyone is toxic when I try making friends it seems like people just hate me for no reason and pick on me for no reason.and yet I'm the most calm relaxed person it know
I understand how you feel, it is the same for me too. It seems people love to find fault with me and want to dislike me. Even family members. I was very confused for a very long time, believing I was just no good, and it was all my fault , that I must be the person everyone thought I was. Take a honest hard look at yourself, get to know your strengths and weaknesses, then you will be more confident, knowing who you are and not what people want you to believe about yourself. Go well.
Dr.Phil...you are not a pessimist, more like a realist ! I have been "played" and burned by so-called friends, co-workers, strangers, ex's, and even my own family ! I have learned ..!! Watch your OWN back !
Laud Dr. Phil is so right with applause. I truly have known folks like this. It's crazy but like he said go with our got feelings. Step back and be confident doing so..
I gave my sister the benefit of the doubt for 55 years because she faked it at times while my parents were living. And I was doing exactly what Dr. Phil said, I was missing the person I wished she was, or hoped she could be, so I never completely cut her off. Now she doesn't even pretend to be a loving sister anymore, and I finally had to stop allowing her constant hostility to generate conflict with me. I'm just too old and tired and sad to deal with her anymore. But I still love her and pray for her. 💗
Self preservation is important for our well being. Being around toxic people you can’t get away from is an emotional nightmare. When you do get away it’s not easy, especially if you live in the same small town. There are reminders at every corner. It takes a long time and you never stop missing who they used to be. Theyre unable to see how their self destructive behavior is hurting them and people they love. It’s best to take care of yourself, mind and body so you don’t fall into the same toxic behavior. Peace to anyone struggling with this.
What do you do when everyone...family co workers take their unhappiness out on you !!! I feel like I’m always the punching bag for some and I’m done with it!!!
FANTASTIC advice and just what I needed to hear right about now. Just broke off a friendship that had been going on for a year or so with a couple of breaks. I know that this is not a good working friendship for reasons not necessary to specify here. Not the person's fault, it was a disparity of emotions thing. I have been waiting to be contacted again with an attempt to fix this which has happened before. I let it get repaired last time which was a mistake. I am telling myself that this time we need to be out of each other's lives for good. This clip reinforced that I am right, she is toxic for me and it can't be allowed to go forward.
I've learned to block off every worldly person and situation so even if the person is manipulative, deceitful etc. I may be physically around them cause sometimes you have a conflict of interest therefore you have no choice but to be around that person but mentally in my mind they don't even exist.
As a Christian, you are taught to show kindness to everyone, forgive people for their wrong doings, and show empathy and compassion toward others, as it helps you relate to them and understand their struggles and sufferings. Even if you are not a religious person but know the importance of being a kind person, these "baiters" will suck the life out of you simply because they are aware of how kind you truly are. Our lines of thinking are based solely on how can we make people feel comfortable and happy at all times. These "baiters" lines of thinking however, is entirely demonic and they are lying when they show any compassionate feelings whatsoever. They are mean people who PRETEND to be nice, whereas truly kind people know that they have kindness in their hearts, and are aware at times that they simply can become frustrated or angry but that is not truly who they are. As a Christian, we have a hard time understanding that these baiters don't have soul or conscious, and we feel bad for them. So we keep trying harder and harder to understand them. BUT there is nothing to understand. They don't act like real people with real feelings. Their goal is to keep you around long enough to see you suffer. They do not have feelings, so they feed off of you, and try to ruin your feelings and try to ruin your heart. It's really sick and sad. But we can not feel bad for these people like we are taught to as christians. We must really try to be aware of these people because they are never going to change unless they are willing to on their own terms. They can only change themselves. They are the only ones who can welcome God into their lives and ask Him to help change them. Nothing you can ever say or do to a baiter will help them be a better person. Only God can change a person.
tecx37 so very true only God can change a person and I have come to realize that if you’re unhealthy I don’t give a care if we share DNA I have to separate myself from you.I’m constantly working on myself and I learned that mental issues turn into physical issues and I don’t want to be sick either way.So when I see a toxic person I have to separate myself
Amen hun yes you should ALWAYS do whats best for you no matter how close they are to you. Walking away from a loved one who is toxic is wisdom not cruelty. You can wish them well from afar but never run back into the fire, you'll get burned every time
I am a christian too, there are people no matter how nice I am, they still dislike me , jealous and out to get me. I stay away from toxic people as much as I can.
so good, so true. I needed to hear this. I'm quitting making excuses for the baiters in my life...they aren't going to change and I don't want that toxicity in my life any more. Getting a copy of Life Code. I'm sure its on of Dr. P's best. Bless him for that.
Thanks Dr. Phil for opening up understanding that will help others protect themselves and others and thanks for sharing yourself. Not sure you will ever see this but thank you.
Two faces, one is a fake face like a mask they wear to cover up what they really are, a sociopath, lying crook, thug, thief, imposter with a fake name, someone that uses others for time and money. You are their victim so they show you the fake smiling face so that you will not run from them before they can use you.
What’s he’s describing is how narcissists treat people. Learning what narcissistic abuse is has helped me immensely because in the past I didn’t know there was a term for the abuse I endured by people. Therapy doesn’t help narcissists! They don’t have empathy, can’t see things from another’s point of view. Going to couple’s counseling with this type of toxic person will result in you being triangulated with the therapist unless they are aware of how narcissists behave. All these types learn is how to manipulate people better. The only way to win with a toxic narcissistic person is not to play and go no contact!
Therapy helps to strengthen you. You have to choose the right one for you. A lot of people aren't trained in narcissistic abuse. The person that has this sometimes either chooses to be evil or they're unable to have insight. They are in love with their false personality. It begins between 3 and 7 years old. The person never grows up.
DonnieDarko1 went through the same thing. Fucking crazy ass sociopaths with nothing better to do than harass the shit out of me. Pry into my personal life, contact people from my past that I am not on good terms with. Basically the most illegal workplace I have ever been in. Fucking psychos.
These trouble makers want you thinking about them from the moment you wake up to the moment your head hits the pillow again. Its alwaya always always about them. They must be the ficus if attention at all times wether it be good bad or somewhere in between.
So true, amazing advice! I attract these pathetic mutants on a daily basis and I've learned 3 rules: 1.Don't react, they love a reaction ;2. Deal with their crap IMMEDIATELY!! :Never let anyone disrespect you, tell them off ASAP, don't fester over losers; 3. LAUGH AT THE HATERS, RIDICULING creeps destroys them! Currently with a very attractive Baiter lover who just goes on! Stand up to crazies IMMEDIATELY, DO IT! JEALOUSLY makes haters hate! I don't want to leave my sexy lover, but he's on the Watch list! Good advice! UK review
Listen to what people show you on who they are do not think its something else or anything but what it is. Most ppl unfortunately are no good FACTS! Emtional Vampires KMT! Run far far away from these ppl and never let them return let it die its natural death, and dont you dare revive it these ppl will block you from your blessings, this only way you can make progress with your life!
Same,and I am SO much happier now and SO many wonderful things are happening for me and the universe is presenting SO many wonderful opportunities and surprises to me. It's fabulous. ✌️❤️😊
Dr Phil, My life is a mess, I’ve been cut out of all 4 daughters and my 7 grandchildren’s life’s. I always found myself defending myself in a marriage since 1979 and just divorced. I never knew what narcissism was, gaslighting or flying monkeys were. I know I was far from perfect and made so many mistakes but I just don’t believe that being a codependent abused wife is the culprit of not seeing any of my kids or grandkids in a year. My life was my kids and my grandkids and I love them with all my heart. My heart is breaking inside,
I have someone like this, a man who has lived in my house as a tenant for 17 years, 9 of them paying no rent whatsoever. In fact, I've fed him! I'm an idiot I know but he has been an intellectual discussion partner, a fellow Christian, and a child abuse survivor as was my dad, so I invested psychological energy in him. Finally I am cutting loose but will have to evict him to get him out now. The stress is enormous but I see I asked for it by not recognizing the pattern. Wish me luck please. I'll buy Dr Phil's book.
Wow! My co-worker just told me about what a BAITER is, and I am so glad to know. While I am blessed to NOT have friends like this, I do have a relative who I no longer communicate with unless necessary, and it is usually very, very short! Thank you, Dr. Phil!
Yes, I saw most of Sam Vaknin's videos and they are all spot on. Sadly, there is no cure for these people as he points out. I wish I had learned about narcissists BEFORE I married one (and divorced).
Thank you so much Dr Phil for Life Code. I bought it and I was at a very low point in my life, dealing with breast cancer and a "friend" who had become quite baiterish. I am now quite settled and calm, hopefully wiser. Thank you so much. xox
Thank you Dr. Phil for this. I have such fake,negative,energy sucking ''friends''. When ever i dont hang out with them i feel so good about my self. But the moment i hang out with them, Im rushed by sad emotions,feeling alone,feeling made fun of. Its nice to know the simple thing to do is just to cut these fuckers.
your friends are probably Narcissist look it up it's hard but easier to cut them off once you know what they are, you will be terrified once you find out about Narcissist one word Malignant
Toxic people will sabotage you.
czcams.com/video/pW0fu8uzB-0/video.html
Only self sabotage themselves
I don't know why people don't realize this. I guess we are taught from a young age to believe in the automatic transformative power of love. You can not love someone out of mental illness.
Reminds me of the saying, " Givers have to put a limit on what they give because takers wont put a limit on what they take. "
an excellent accurate statement
Ooooo I love this! Imam about to walk away from a toxic working relationship! Had ENOUGH!
@@emichaels1920 I did that, and have never felt better. You can not "love" someone else into becoming a better person. You can only change yourself, and follow the right path for you.
Very true indeed, loved the saying !! Txs
Never heard the saying, but like it
"You miss who you wish they were." Hmmm... this is good! Thank you Dr. Phil.
Prophetic Mantle TV
Yolanda Revealed, that’s a powerful statement!! And it’s so true!!
So true
That GUT feeling is actually the Holy Spirit warning you to stay away from certain people even if its family members. I avoid family gatherings to avoid certain people but I visit the safe family members separately instead.
I learnt the hard way. Now at 40, I literally have to start over again. Protect everything you have. Always.
I lost everything too....and I was future faked to the max
@@pyarkaaloo future faked?
So sorry bro
In my experience toxic people and narcissistic people are one in the same. Never ever ever give them a second chance bc if you do they will take it as a sign of weakness in you and they will treat you worse than before!
It's wasn't easy,pulling back from toxic people because most was my family.😔💭
Just because you're related to someone DOESN'T MAKE THEM FAMILY❗Family members are loving, loyal and trustworthy❣ Those fake, phony, backstabbing kin folks are just people you're RELATED to💁
Totally relate my whole family's toxic asf
How do you do it with family? That is tough to me.
@YnnyY&nne OilRyser How did you do that with your mom? That is tough.
YnnyY&nne OilRyser same exact life story. Blessings and love from someone healing. ❤️❤️❤️
' you miss who you WISH they were' - so true
Or you miss the person they presented to you in the beginning to bait you in...
Yes to both comments above. Twice I've been caught with the initial image/behavior as the bait, then the real person emerges. Currently have a friend/love interest who shows all the signs of playing me, lacks empathy, arrogant/all about him/lack of regard for my feelings, my time and my life, selfish all the way. Currently ghosting him because I realise he is toxic and I deserve better, even from a friendship. Time to let him drift off into my distant memory 😁
Forgot to say that I see the person he 'could be', but he simply isn't that person. I miss who I thought he was when we first met and feel ripped off that he changed on a dime immediately after that. Keeps turning up in my life to do it to me all over again. Not anymore though.....
@@gamayun1224 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Bumblebee SO true.
If they gossip with you they will about you
LOVE THIS COMMENT, trucker wrecker! Years ago, a woman I admired who was one of my many mentors said, "If that man left another woman for you, he will do it to you, too!" Unfortunately, I had to find that out the hard way! (CRINGE!)
@@TheHeartOne interesting..i know of some family members & friends that left for someone else and been together for 30+ years..
My best friend literally said this to me today! My work enviroment is toxic af
It took me 10 years to figure this out ugh
trucker wrecker:
Very very true ..!!
Yes, the aftermath after dealing with these people is devastating, painful and hard to trust people afterwards.
yeah
Sick people
It takes one time for people to show their true colors, ONE TIME. Depending on the person, extract yourself from that person. Instinct doesn't lie. Trust your instinct.
Very true, I will think about that deeply.hmmmm
Just like Maya Angelou said when a person shows you who they are the first time, believe them.
Yes,trust your instincts,ALAWAYS.
Michelle Mcdonald, one of my favorite sayings!!
Hell yeah
I immediately thought of my biological mother when Dr. Phil said, "These people typically DO NOT change"...he is 100 percent correct. You must protect yourself even if it's from a relative.
Yes ! I would agree ! When you have to EXPLAIN to someone how a certain situation has made you feel (because they have NO ability to put themselves in your shoes ...so to speak) or block your attempt to expose the TRUTH about what has already transpired or block you from succeeding....TIME to go !
Amen re: Protection from our relatives/Fam. SMH! That's really Sad if/wen we Can't Trust our own, close Fam. member's, friends, etc.
@@jengable4888 p
@@terriprice6259 internal or external ? You know what I am referring to..
@@Jesus.SaVeS77 sometimes (not always) the ones that are closest to you, hurt you the most.
You dont need to let people know what you are thinking. Love it Dr Phil
" You miss who you wish they were" literally me right now. I know she's toxic, and yet I still miss her, but in truth i don't miss her as she is, but who I wish her to be.
"You don't miss them, you miss who you think they should be" - Wow, that sentence blew me away. So much truth in that if you really think about it.
SAME HERE!!! Thank you for bringing that one up!
I agree👍
And it goes both ways btw
So true! I learned that just this year.
Step one is to always trust your gut.
Right on! These people will suck your energy and leave you with nothing.. RUN! Your worth more than stooping down to lies and deceiption!
Dr. Phil is right, People who constantly gossip about others to you will gossip to others about you. I used to work with a toxic coworker like that, I gave her the cold shoulder from day one, too bad others didn't and believed all her lies.
Blue Victory
I bet she smeared you the most as payback for not playing her game
@@oompaloompa9139 yep. That's how they roll. You gotta learn how to play the game so you yourself do not become a target.
L D
I don't think there's a way to win unless you are willing to stoop to their level.
Sometimes...it takes a while to realize how people really are 🤔..they can disguise their evil intentions quite well.
@@oompaloompa9139 Right ! Because that is how SICK and TWISTED they REALLY are !
I am a kind person with a lot going on for me as I created my life by being good to myself and people, having goals and reaching them. I finally set STANDARDS, finally at 45. I have no time for users, manipulators and toxic people....including family. Guess what... my life is great! Take care of yourself and be surrounded by grateful people.
Yes!! There are VERY TOXIC people out there... if you want a happy life, cut them out... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
Yes,cut them out,completley,even if it's just someone you have never even met or spoken to,that you simply follow on the internet. If your instincts are telling you that they are bad news or you are getting bad vibes like fuck,its for a reason,cut them out. This happened to me a few times but I just kept "giving them the benefit of the doubt" over and over and over until finally I was like this BAD energy coming from this person has got to GO,cut them OUT,asap.
DR PHIL IS 100% right where trying to get ride of these types of people and they thrive on drama.
They thrive on drama and drag you into it.
Every moment of drama must point to them somehow. They must have everyones attention at all times.
Drama, chaos, and crazy making ! Because it is ALL about CONTROL ! If they do not have control of the situation or you, they will CREATE a situation that may use your good nature of helping against you and FORCE you to respond to them or so they can get their way ! In addition, money may be used as a weapon to keep you poor, down, and controlled, thus entangled in their web so to speak, to rely on them, so they can abuse you some more !
@@jengable4888 💯💯💯💯
Woah.... having never watched this clip before I've recently come to the conclusion that I must gather 'data' about people before deciding what kind of relationships, if at all, I would have with each new person that enters my life. Blind trust is a thing of the past.
Barbara Clifton yep! 🙏
These type of people prey upon you because they sense your vulnerability and normal positive nature (a sure sign of an easy kill). Their false face lures you into their lives with charm and grace, while their real face hits you when your back is turned.
Totally very very true!!
Solice8844 you summed it up perfectly.
Yes !!
True
This is narcissistic personality disorder. I know because my mother is a narc and a therapist. She is a manipulative wizard.
narc/therapist? damn that can't be good!!
Yep, there are plenty of narc therapists. They are nefarious and manipulative but can go around pathologizing others and wear their therapist credentials like a badge of mental health and superiority.
Oh my word! Your mother is a narc. and a therapist. Imagine all the abuse, manipulation, and triangulation you mother has exposed her patients to. Since she treats you bad, I hate to imagine how she treats her clients. She is a danger to her clients and society. I hope her clients realize her behavior is off and unprofessional, and seek another therapist. Due to her own doing, I also hope she does not have many clients to serve. Oh my gosh, someone in crisis and your mother being their therapist could cause so much damage and trauma to the client that it would be life threatening.
Sadly this is my mother too
Damn, she broke the code.
just stop being around them.once someone shows you who they really are,believe them.,toxic!
They need to teach this stuff in school. It's truly an important life skill that I would have benefited from knowing when I was much younger.
Baters are gaslighting narcissist's, if you argue with em, they win. Gray rock the baters and they'll go elsewhere for a fight and to suck energy.
I have a neighbor that fits this profile. Very negative and berating to everyone, very unhappy and wants to take it out on everyone else because they are not miserable like her. She looks for ways to tear people down and gets way too personal. For example, she had the gall to say "I don't know why you even got married if you are not going to have kids. That's the only reason to get married in the first place!" After that, I lost the very last little bit of respect I had for her and never wanted anything to do with her EVER AGAIN! How dare she criticize my decision to be married to the man I love! I've been married to him for almost 15 years. He was in my life long before her and will be long after I've forgotten about her.
good for you. just ignore her. do not react. she feeds off your reactions, so just refuse to and it will drive her nuts. and sidenote, i hate when people act like having kids is the end all/be all of life. maybe i wouldnt feel this way if there werent so many unadopted, abandoned orphans in the world, but people who decide to have their own kids (instead of adopting) and then judge others for not having any?? they can go fuck themselves.
VikingLady219 My mother died when i was 18 and my father when i was 33 . One Christmas my uncle asked me in front of the whole family " Did your mother stop smoking before she died ? " . I left the dinner table upset and angry . No apology from the uncle ! Told my dad i needed to see a therapist . My family are toxic , have treated me with indifference through the years . They didn't even lift a finger to help me sort out my father's papers after he died . As if i was in any state to attend solicitors meetings and tend to administrative matters in the state . I am the living proof that family is not always what you expect !
Sometimes family can be your absolute worst enemy....
+tazoz100 Boy do I know how you feel. I have a sister with mental issues and a brother who will not help at all. He classifies my sister as co dependent and says she has to stand on her own when in truth she needs to be monitored. I can empathize with you about your family. It feels awful but in truth i don't need those folks in my life who don't care about me, family or otherwise.
It’s hurts to be disrespected. Have learned when it happens in that moment say I feel disrespected . I feel it raises my self esteem to communicate calmly to person who is nasty . I feel worse if I remain silent or lash out at such people .
I am so glad you said therapy makes these people worse.
Never take an abusive spouse to therapy, if they want to change, they will change on their own. Therapy will make them more angry and resentful towards you for putting them through the annoyance of faking it for an hour to a therapist.
Everywhere you go these days there is always someone who wants to exploit your good nature, your trust, the good Samaritan you maybe and crush you, rob you, and generally screw you over for no real valid reason. I have always found that anyone who has no idea on how to handle a of position of power (ie incompetent managers) or even how to speak to someone civilly are usually the ones you got to watch out for, how ever there is also other citizens in everyday life like your neighbors, the building mangers, even your friends that will try to play mind control games, so best to keep learning about their sneaky tricks to destroy you..... for again no valid reason.
This is one of those things that is so damn hard to learn. I have a tendency to want to save people. 'I have bells going off in my head?' You don't tell your friends that. Don't become a poison pill because you become the target. Distance is easy to gain. Just be lukewarm and don't explain yourself.
Give them silence treatment and totally ignore.
I've had to get rid of a few "friends" who were so toxic and negative. After a year of being away from them, I am so glad I kicked them to the curb. I feel a sense of hope now that they were stealing from me.
When someone shows you who they are... believe them👈
I grew up with narc parents. Its quite safe to say their toxicity has affected me a lot. Its made me sad and angry at them for everything they took away from me. I wantbto go no-contact but I don't know how,I'm only 18...
+mikah ong try for as long as you can to stay around. if you are financially dependent it will be difficult. but you are stronger than you think. they want you to believe that you are nothing and incapable without them so they can continue their abuse. but you can do it. i left my house at 17. i'm finally going no contact at 24. you can do it.
+mikah ong the worst part is that normal people will 'smell' the pain in you and will run away. Like me, you will die alone or end up in a relationship with a narcissist who feeds on your pain.
Allison Hunt spoken like a true gaslighting narc
mikah ong At 18 you can work on your career and study Dave Ramsey on finance. Keep your goals and ideas to yourself because toxic and narsassist do not want you to succeed. They will do what ever they can to see you fail and will enjoy talking about it and watching. If you know on your gut your family is toxic slowly work on moving away not towards them.
Iv had a very long journey with this abuse..im 43. But my recovery was slow and in stages. I want to tell you this. Know that this is real. What you dealing with. You are not imagining..or crazy..you have a false self that is the one they created and this is where your emotions are also ..the bond. Then you also have your true self. Its you..from positive feedback you get ..from a smile of a stranger from nature..quiet time..or watching tv..anything or place where you experienced yourself ..and that is the real you ..and the one the world is connected to. Teach yourself to seperate from the false one..its merely an illusion from their 'disability' to build and nurture and love..its not you .and not your fault. I know how painful and tough this is. Now .keep building the other one. You might feel sad that you cannot share yourself with them truly..but if you keep going you will one day feel happy that you made it. That life will be better ..when you live it through your true sense of self and it will be less and less hard and less consequencial as your life gets fuller..please check pinch me living..channel. Might be helpful. I wish to do some helping becos I know what you are in. Theres alot to learn ..but with the strength of tools ..your inner voice ..from connected to yourself ..by sitting quietly. .you will get better at it. I wish you much love and strength and wisdom. Liah xx
Usually if you find that somebody is dishonest in one area, they'll be dishonest in every area up until you challenge them, and if they dont budge just walk away and forget about that person.
I totally loved this video. Amazing. When he said: "To give someone the benefit of the doubt, that's crazy!" Yes! It's so good to hear him say that, and also to say that the opposite is also wrong, to judge. The best is to gather data and learn about the person that way. Why didn't they teach us that in school? Reminds me also of Eckhart Tolle's comment about a question in regards to trusting people. He said: "Trust? Yes! Trust everybody!" Then he giggled and said: "Trust that they will act according to their level of consciousness". Ha ha. Cracked me up. See a snake for what it is.
We were taught how to be victims. Giving others the benefit of doubt but not trust our inborn reason . Frack our society’s teachings
Above all, trust that not everybody has a conscience
If you give them a second chance in my experience it gets worse...and they are so unforgiving if you have a break from them...
About therapy for toxic people: spot on.
They garner more tools. Never good.
If I come in contact with you or I talk to you over the phone and the conversation leaves me drained depressed and upset there’s a problem I have to get rid of you or keep you at a very safe distance
👍👍👍👍
🙏🙏🙏🙏
Learning that right now.
Dr Phil is wonderful. The way he addresses situations and people so straight on is refreshing and perfect. So many ah ha moments like this one! Why the hell SHOULD benefit of doubt be given first. Isn't it so common sense not to and ludicrous that we are taught to? Wow.
The world has changed, the rules have changed. Run from them.
The Bible warns of these people
This is a great video. I left a Narcissist. His family are secondary abusers and also participated in the targeting etc. They have money and just enable their son to mistreat and abuse women.
You can tell he really feels personally about this issue and this book. Its very powerful to see him so personally intertwined with his work in this way. Powerful.When he speaks about after a while, you seem to miss that person. But really you miss who you WISH that person was. Nailed it.
i was dating a guy for a year and i thought he would change. I have been emotionally drained and stressed. I thought he was going to change but he kept on abusing me, lacked empathy, care and very evil all e 8 things Dr Phil spoke about. I have cut him out and its time to heal.
ruramai tutu, I am STILL HEALING from two very "subtle" abusive men! Keep the faith and cut the ties! NO ONE IS WORTH the abuse....NO ONE! And please don't ever think that you can "change" him or think they might change. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF!!! Don't "open that door" for just anyone! Know that you are BEAUTIFUL...JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
heal, baby.
I was married to a Narrsesist for 35 years, we have 2 daughter's 5 delightful grandchildren.
Guess I will never totally get rid of the Clown; however this summer, I am going to marry my best friend and soulmate.
Ex is having a cow he is rasist, and my fiancee is mixed his father was from Kenya. lol
I am from Copenhagen Denmark and live in Montgomery Alabama,
and I don't have a rasist bone in my body.
I am loving my life and have never been happier.
I am 66 years old and Handicapped 100% , my fiancee is 24, a very old Soul in a young man's body, hi mom is 74 years old and in the last stages of Alzheimer's disease.
allways stay ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ happy.
At 27 I feel like I got rid of these people in my life already.
Lily, GOOD FOR YOU!! It took me YEARS to figure this out! But be on alert, Miss Lily! As young as you are, you are probably going to meet more of them, but at least you have learned to identify who/what they really are!
Lily ZeMengist did u tell them why or just not answer their calls or msgs ?
@@markrutherford6010 it's usually best to just cut them off. Because it's a psychological game and they'll always try to make you look bad
You are intelligent, I have only done that now I am 40years
@@markrutherford6010
I typically communicate why I choose to disassociate myself from people.
How they react from my disassociation isn't my concern- knowing that is the trick😉
EXACTLY listen to your gut.....especially when patterns keep repeating. Thanks hon 4 sending me this link nd listening 2 me.
There reckless with YOUR life!!
I sure wish I had heard this advice fifty years ago. It would have saved my psychological life. The messages I got from my mother was a litany of, “YOU can’t do that”, “You cry too much”, “Why do you always paint the same thing?”,
and after reading my star chart, “Isn’t that SICK?” When I was born and my two grandmas came to congratulate her and welcome me, her comment was a sarcastic, “I SAW her! I realized she was jealous of me when my Dad bought me a BEAUTIFUL bedspread, and when I got boobs. She forced me to attend family gatherings which were tortuous to me, BECAUSE they were tortuous to me.
She interfered with my boyfriends and would not let me see them. The same interference in the form of a triangle with my second husband covered up their knowledge of my husband’s molesting my beautiful daughter for a decade.
When I was 52 years old, she and my Dad went in my house and stripped it of everything I owned. . . Furniture, clothing, jewelry, sentimental items, my business, with all my beautiful letters of recommendation, appliances, my substantial library, EVERYTHING! They ransacked my life, and got rid of Absolutely EVERYTHING!!!
Overcoming this life-long series of put-downs , and being dissed at every turn ultimately became impossible to overcome. Despite a self-made career in the arena of childbirth, the creation of The Center For The Sacred Feminine as well as the creation of Hypnotic Childbirth: Mother Nature’s Intention , a comprehensive set of five classes, and accomplishing the completion of a BS, MS, and finally a Ph.D. in my 50’s, they managed to take me down permanently.
No longer able to work, and left with a serious mental illness because
of all this, I finally broke. Now I stare at walls, read books, and sometimes watch brain-numbing TV programs. My brain is mush, I cannot socialize, and I’m tired of living. TMI? At least it’s therapeutic to put it out there. If you read all this, thank you for listening. 🙏🌹❤️
for me almost everyone is toxic when I try making friends it seems like people just hate me for no reason and pick on me for no reason.and yet I'm the most calm relaxed person it know
thats why they pick on you bc you r so calm and relaxed they want to see if you will defend yourself...
I understand how you feel, it is the same for me too. It seems people love to find fault with me and want to dislike me. Even family members. I was very confused for a very long time, believing I was just no good, and it was all my fault , that I must be the person everyone thought I was. Take a honest hard look at yourself, get to know your strengths and weaknesses, then you will be more confident, knowing who you are and not what people want you to believe about yourself. Go well.
Never try to warn the new victim...the narc has already warned them.
Dr.Phil...you are not a pessimist, more like a realist ! I have been "played" and burned by so-called friends, co-workers, strangers, ex's, and even my own family ! I have learned ..!! Watch your OWN back !
Here are some good books I found more useful than life code: In Sheeps clothing by George K Simon, Whose Pulling your strings by Harriet B Breaker.
I hope my husband can realize his so called friends are baiters. Sending him this video.
"you miss who you wished they were" soooo true!!
very good point about therapy for toxic people ,They get to use more tools to be more toxic.
Laud Dr. Phil is so right with applause. I truly have known folks like this. It's crazy but like he said go with our got feelings. Step back and be confident doing so..
Great video! So true Dr. Phil! They are master manipulators. People miss the illusion.
I gave my sister the benefit of the doubt for 55 years because she faked it at times while my parents were living. And I was doing exactly what Dr. Phil said, I was missing the person I wished she was, or hoped she could be, so I never completely cut her off.
Now she doesn't even pretend to be a loving sister anymore, and I finally had to stop allowing her constant hostility to generate conflict with me.
I'm just too old and tired and sad to deal with her anymore. But I still love her and pray for her. 💗
Self preservation is important for our well being. Being around toxic people you can’t get away from is an emotional nightmare. When you do get away it’s not easy, especially if you live in the same small town. There are reminders at every corner. It takes a long time and you never stop missing who they used to be. Theyre unable to see how their self destructive behavior is hurting them and people they love. It’s best to take care of yourself, mind and body so you don’t fall into the same toxic behavior. Peace to anyone struggling with this.
What do you do when everyone...family co workers take their unhappiness out on you !!! I feel like I’m always the punching bag for some and I’m done with it!!!
he throws out the answer real well
They learn how to work the system
Dr. Phil is absolutely right. I had two people like this in my life, I got rid of one of them. Now it's time to get rid of the other.
He sure is! I got rid of a male "friend" who was not only toxic, but fit a pathological liar profile perfectly. Good for you, Pete!
my ex is a master baiter. lol
David Zimmermann mine to
same LOL
And then they wouldnt be ur ex!
dr phil is ryt the world is changing ............a lot................................
FANTASTIC advice and just what I needed to hear right about now. Just broke off a friendship that had been going on for a year or so with a couple of breaks. I know that this is not a good working friendship for reasons not necessary to specify here. Not the person's fault, it was a disparity of emotions thing. I have been waiting to be contacted again with an attempt to fix this which has happened before. I let it get repaired last time which was a mistake. I am telling myself that this time we need to be out of each other's lives for good. This clip reinforced that I am right, she is toxic for me and it can't be allowed to go forward.
I've learned to block off every worldly person and situation so even if the person is manipulative, deceitful etc. I may be physically around them cause sometimes you have a conflict of interest therefore you have no choice but to be around that person but mentally in my mind they don't even exist.
How did u achieve this?
As a Christian, you are taught to show kindness to everyone, forgive people for their wrong doings, and show empathy and compassion toward others, as it helps you relate to them and understand their struggles and sufferings. Even if you are not a religious person but know the importance of being a kind person, these "baiters" will suck the life out of you simply because they are aware of how kind you truly are. Our lines of thinking are based solely on how can we make people feel comfortable and happy at all times. These "baiters" lines of thinking however, is entirely demonic and they are lying when they show any compassionate feelings whatsoever. They are mean people who PRETEND to be nice, whereas truly kind people know that they have kindness in their hearts, and are aware at times that they simply can become frustrated or angry but that is not truly who they are. As a Christian, we have a hard time understanding that these baiters don't have soul or conscious, and we feel bad for them. So we keep trying harder and harder to understand them. BUT there is nothing to understand. They don't act like real people with real feelings. Their goal is to keep you around long enough to see you suffer. They do not have feelings, so they feed off of you, and try to ruin your feelings and try to ruin your heart. It's really sick and sad. But we can not feel bad for these people like we are taught to as christians. We must really try to be aware of these people because they are never going to change unless they are willing to on their own terms. They can only change themselves. They are the only ones who can welcome God into their lives and ask Him to help change them. Nothing you can ever say or do to a baiter will help them be a better person. Only God can change a person.
tecx37 so very true only God can change a person and I have come to realize that if you’re unhealthy I don’t give a care if we share DNA I have to separate myself from you.I’m constantly working on myself and I learned that mental issues turn into physical issues and I don’t want to be sick either way.So when I see a toxic person I have to separate myself
Amen hun yes you should ALWAYS do whats best for you no matter how close they are to you. Walking away from a loved one who is toxic is wisdom not cruelty. You can wish them well from afar but never run back into the fire, you'll get burned every time
I am a christian too, there are people no matter how nice I am, they still dislike me , jealous and out to get me. I stay away from toxic people as much as I can.
thats the wise thing to do
PERFECTLY SAID, tecx37!!!
so good, so true. I needed to hear this. I'm quitting making excuses for the baiters in my life...they aren't going to change and I don't want that toxicity in my life any more. Getting a copy of Life Code. I'm sure its on of Dr. P's best. Bless him for that.
GREAT BOOK!!!!
Thanks Dr. Phil for opening up understanding that will help others protect themselves and others and thanks for sharing yourself. Not sure you will ever see this but thank you.
Dr you are such a strong man and leader, honorable. Know the peace you bring to our families means everything. Thank you.
Dr Phil is a TRUE savage. LOVE IT
It's like he has two personalities in one person. It's almost like a demon or demonic possession.
Willow Clay that’s how I see it too. Their eyes change. The light of their soul is gone :(
I so agree. Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are demons. They are all satanic and very evil people.
Two faces, one is a fake face like a mask they wear to cover up what they really are, a sociopath, lying crook, thug, thief, imposter with a fake name, someone that uses others for time and money. You are their victim so they show you the fake smiling face so that you will not run from them before they can use you.
What’s he’s describing is how narcissists treat people. Learning what narcissistic abuse is has helped me immensely because in the past I didn’t know there was a term for the abuse I endured by people. Therapy doesn’t help narcissists! They don’t have empathy, can’t see things from another’s point of view. Going to couple’s counseling with this type of toxic person will result in you being triangulated with the therapist unless they are aware of how narcissists behave. All these types learn is how to manipulate people better. The only way to win with a toxic narcissistic person is not to play and go no contact!
Therapy helps to strengthen you. You have to choose the right one for you. A lot of people aren't trained in narcissistic abuse. The person that has this sometimes either chooses to be evil or they're unable to have insight. They are in love with their false personality. It begins between 3 and 7 years old. The person never grows up.
you're basically describing my former work environment, a ducking minefield!
DonnieDarko1 went through the same thing. Fucking crazy ass sociopaths with nothing better to do than harass the shit out of me. Pry into my personal life, contact people from my past that I am not on good terms with. Basically the most illegal workplace I have ever been in. Fucking psychos.
These trouble makers want you thinking about them from the moment you wake up to the moment your head hits the pillow again. Its alwaya always always about them. They must be the ficus if attention at all times wether it be good bad or somewhere in between.
putting up a wall and put them on a watch list and listen for the alarm bells to go off in your head and then say Gotch ya!
Trust your gut.
The red flags.
Observe, don't absorb.
Dr Phil is awesome!
amen.
So true, amazing advice! I attract these pathetic mutants on a daily basis and I've learned 3 rules: 1.Don't react, they love a reaction ;2. Deal with their crap IMMEDIATELY!! :Never let anyone disrespect you, tell them off ASAP, don't fester over losers; 3. LAUGH AT THE HATERS, RIDICULING creeps destroys them! Currently with a very attractive Baiter lover who just goes on! Stand up to crazies IMMEDIATELY, DO IT! JEALOUSLY makes haters hate! I don't want to leave my sexy lover, but he's on the Watch list! Good advice! UK review
Toxic people make me want to vomit honestly some people are so draining they just take or use you as a therapist so heart aching
Listen to what people show you on who they are do not think its something else or anything but what it is. Most ppl unfortunately are no good FACTS! Emtional Vampires KMT! Run far far away from these ppl and never let them return let it die its natural death, and dont you dare revive it these ppl will block you from your blessings, this only way you can make progress with your life!
wow, this is where dr phil is king, he should focus on this type of therapy. not ratings
Trust your gut that's just true!!!
I got rid of all of the baiters in my life
Same,and I am SO much happier now and SO many wonderful things are happening for me and the universe is presenting SO many wonderful opportunities and surprises to me. It's fabulous. ✌️❤️😊
Saw a old toxic friend after 3 years and he didn't change at all, got worse. Stay away from these types at all costs.
Dr Phil, My life is a mess, I’ve been cut out of all 4 daughters and my 7 grandchildren’s life’s. I always found myself defending myself in a marriage since 1979 and just divorced. I never knew what narcissism was, gaslighting or flying monkeys were. I know I was far from perfect and made so many mistakes but I just don’t believe that being a codependent abused wife is the culprit of not seeing any of my kids or grandkids in a year. My life was my kids and my grandkids and I love them with all my heart. My heart is breaking inside,
I am sorry about this - I hope and pray that you will have grace to understand and appreciate you need to love you first. Take care.
I never ever heard of the word sociopath before. The last two years have been hell. I need to go forward
I wish you the very best of luck X
I have someone like this, a man who has lived in my house as a tenant for 17 years, 9 of them paying no rent whatsoever. In fact, I've fed him! I'm an idiot I know but he has been an intellectual discussion partner, a fellow Christian, and a child abuse survivor as was my dad, so I invested psychological energy in him. Finally I am cutting loose but will have to evict him to get him out now. The stress is enormous but I see I asked for it by not recognizing the pattern. Wish me luck please. I'll buy Dr Phil's book.
Thank you dr Phil, I agree with every word you said. Gather data and make an informed decision about baiters. Cut them off your life is my solution.
Gut and instinct doesn’t always alert you, especially when they’ve cultivated their scamming skills through experience.
A good therapist never tells you what or how to think.
"You miss who you wish they were".... I felt that
Wow! My co-worker just told me about what a BAITER is, and I am so glad to know. While I am blessed to NOT have friends like this, I do have a relative who I no longer communicate with unless necessary, and it is usually very, very short! Thank you, Dr. Phil!
These are Narcissists!! See videos by Sam Vaknin, he explains this type of abusers in a clear way.
Yes, I saw most of Sam Vaknin's videos and they are all spot on. Sadly, there is no cure for these people as he points out. I wish I had learned about narcissists BEFORE I married one (and divorced).
Thank you so much Dr Phil for Life Code. I bought it and I was at a very low point in my life, dealing with breast cancer and a "friend" who had become quite baiterish. I am now quite settled and calm, hopefully wiser. Thank you so much. xox
helen wardley
Thank you Dr. Phil for this. I have such fake,negative,energy sucking ''friends''. When ever i dont hang out with them i feel so good about my self. But the moment i hang out with them, Im rushed by sad emotions,feeling alone,feeling made fun of. Its nice to know the simple thing to do is just to cut these fuckers.
your friends are probably Narcissist look it up it's hard but easier to cut them off once you know what they are, you will be terrified once you find out about Narcissist one word Malignant
People suck! Get a dog to hang out with.
PS: I love Dr. Phil. I remeber when he was a new guest speaker on Oprah back in the day!!!
You miss who you wish they were #Brilliant #AmazingPeople