Why Relationships Don't Work Anymore
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
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👉 In this eye-opening episode, Teal Swan exposes the shocking truth that traditional relationship models simply don't work in today's rapidly evolving world. She explains the social shifts that have made old templates for love, marriage and family obsolete. Teal then reveals the key to relationship success going forward: customizing partnerships based on our authentic needs and desires, rather than trying to force ourselves into outdated molds. If your relationships feel stuck in a painful cycle of unmet expectations, this episode will give you the insight and inspiration to rethink the structures and bravely create more authentic connections.
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👉 Who Is Teal Swan?
Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader, Bestselling Author, and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom, and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual pain.
The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.
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The best breakdown on the Web IMHO. Bravo!
I remember your episode of millionaire matchmaker with Zagros from like 2003! Sucks I can't find it anywhere online at all anymore!
Ok boomer-
I'm curious if my comment was removed by CZcams, you Ma'am or if it was pending for your approval.Please let me know at your end.This censorship by progressives is out of control.
@@TealSwanOfficial really low vibrational people
Essentially, I need to find someone, who has my level of self-honesty.
That person exists, you need to align yourself with uniting with them within your own being. Then you'll, meet without searching for each other.
The question really is if you truly are being honest or are you mentally ill.
Because diet is the basis behind all of this mass mental psychosis.
@@Bonsqueesquee czcams.com/users/shortsxhRA3waSU34?si=pUKz5o4YQQQtUlrh
There was a video in Australia they tested 180 women experiencing stress during pregnancy
1. Women who reacted positivelly to stress,...which means the stress decreased
their kids didnt have any mental or physical issues after the birth
2. Women who reacted negativelly to stress during pregnancy
or they experienced long term stress and anxiety
their kids had to visit the doctors the first years of childhood.
because her body released a stress hormones that get into her blood and into the fetus.
I guess if there would be some yoga or pilates classes for pregnant women, where women relax in relaxing positions, exercise their body
feel less pain from pregnancy, release stress, pressure do some spa healing or some sound haeling etc
maybe this holistic approach would help women.
So husbands should be patient with their women during pegnancy,
because she becomes easily tired from pregnancy, also being loving husband
and women should be also careful and avoid stress, or find a specialist, if they have anxiety.
There was a video in Australia they tested 180 women experiencing stress during pregnancy
1. Women who reacted positivelly to stress,...which means the stress decreased
their kids didnt have any mental or physical issues after the birth
2. Women who reacted negativelly to stress during pregnancy
or they experienced long term stress and anxiety
their kids had to visit the doctors the first years of childhood.
because her body released a stress hormones that get into her blood and into the fetus.
I guess if there would be some yoga or pilates classes for pregnant women, where women relax in relaxing positions, exercise their body
feel less pain from pregnancy, release stress, pressure do some spa healing or some sound haeling etc
maybe this holistic approach would help women.
So husbands should be patient with their women during pegnancy,
because she becomes easily tired from pregnancy, also being loving husband
and women should be also careful and avoid stress, or find a specialist, if they have anxiety.
I want to share my story. My mother and father were married in a traditional marriage, which means that my mother does not work and my father is the provider, but they are not happy and have been quarreling a lot recently. My mother decided to give up everything and do whatever my father wants because divorce is difficult for women in our society. Their problem is that they are not the same and One of them must submit to the other in order for the relationship to continue on the surface level. Many people in my country suffer from problems in their relationships due to incompatibility. Everyone is forced into one mold. What Teal says is really important, and I read an unfortunate comment that believes that the solution is old traditional relationships, or that women’s work is the reason, but this is not true. I live in a traditional society, and relationships do not work here either.
If you're posting comments on CZcams, you don't live in a traditional society.
@JeffCaplan313 What? People with traditional values can be modern and have things like the internet and running toilets.
@@JeffCaplan313you want a caliphate? Move to Afghanistan to find a wife then.
@@user-qb4eb8vq5uBeside the point. Divorce isn’t an option, it seems. Patience and compromise, also doesn’t seem apparent. Couples in the past made and agreement when they got married to put up with each other’s idiosyncratic behavior. It appears this is not the bar anymore and people abdicate or they don’t talk about it in a healthy way in order up seek resolution. Lack of trust and respect brings this. This fear is the motivation for EVERYTHING whether someone knows it or the fear is subconscious. Hormones are the key to every thought, feeling and action for all of us. Psychobiologically, I mean. The rest is our egos and our identities.
@@FloydRunner2049let’s remember, none of this should be dictated by law. Legislation cannot correct difficult relationships and women tend to be on the losing side when this is attempted.
I just visited my Aunty and Uncle who are in their late 70s who I haven't seen since my brother's funeral... they are celebrating 55 years of marriage! Which is rare. I listened to his life story and from a very young age, he was abandoned by his own mother at the age of 7, who ran off with another man. They just live in harmony with each other. I love seeing them.
It's not rare to be married 50+ years.
Modern people are becoming more selfish that's why they jump from person to person.
The "I'm not happy" mantra of modern women is destroying society.
My parents - currently 54 years married
Grandparents - 50+
Aunt & Uncle - 50+
Aunt & Uncle - 50+
Aunt & Uncle - 50+
Aunt & Uncle - 50+
Aunt & Uncle - 40+
Aunt & Uncle - 40+
Aunt & Uncle - 40+
Aunt & Uncle - 40+
Aunt & Uncle - 30+
Aunt & Uncle - 30+
Aunt - married 3 times
Aunt - married 2 times
Grandma - married 5 times - you guessed it, the 2 Aunts that did the divorcing came from this grandma
@ronmexico8383 it's great the you have examples of long term marriages. However, just because your family has those examples doesn't mean it's not rare in the overall scheme of things. It means 50+ year marriages are common for you. Zoom out.
You can be married for 50+ years and still be unhappy or abused but unable to leave because you are financially dependent on your spouse.
Duration of marriage isn't the only metric of a happy relationship
I am trying to analyse my personal story in the context of this video. My marriage was very "customised". Both my husband and valued honesty. We thought we could have a long term marriage - planned for the long haul - happily ever after. Went to swingers parties as didn’t want each to miss out and always wander - what if. Thought we could have it all while being in a commited, loving, supportive relationship. We had a child 13 years into our relationship. She's five now, so we've been together for 18 years. And now we are divorcing after all that effort. I am the initiator. Things started to get out of hand after we've purchased a beautiful apartment together. He got involved with another woman and couldn't keep boundaries on that relationship. Started to devalue me and abuse me emotionally. I was perpetually busy with all the responsibilities of raising our child, household chores and full time job, while he had the freedom to "entertainin" himself. I complained for the period of 10 months, saying its not going to end well. I dont know what he thought of me - that I'd be his door mat since I valued unconditional love and marriage. Maybe he thought I wouldn't leave so he could abuse me.
The moral of the story - if both people want to, they'll make the relationship work and last. It takes two. I think it doesn't matter what model of relationship we pick. Unfortunately, when we get involved with another person we take a risk. There are no guarantees in any scenario. I think that perhaps to be authentic, we shouldn't allow ourselves to be abused and practice self love. The goal is not to have a relationship last forever but perhaps to learn and evolve. Let go easier if it doesn't work.
That's excellent. I don't want it if I'm sure it won't work, though.
Wow - that’s quite a ride. I am sorry. Truly. imagine that if and when you get into another relationship, you are going to have clarity about what you want/don’t want. In the meantime, hopefully you’ll love yourself up. One thing is for sure, you learned a lot and this will never happen to you again. Too, you are (still) the prize, so please don’t lose sight of that. XOXO
@@coreycox2345 Thank you for your comment. "Don't want it if I'm sure it won't work". If I undersnad you correctly, yeah sure why get into something if it's not for you. Societal pressure to be in a relationship? One of the models Teal mentioned is to be single. We can have several fulfilling relationships that don't have to be romantic. Even if its romantic but doesn't last yet it is fulfilling for both, why not. Another thing is about taking the risk - having our heart open and being vulnerable to being hurt. Betrayal can come from anyone - close family even. It depends what we take from it - learn and evolve, heal ourself and help others heal.
@@andrew.gardinerhey, thank you for your comment and your heartfelt message. Yes, one thing this ride taught me is to heal from my own traumas by standing up for myself and being more authentic rather than people pleasing. I learned that there are no guarantees, no matter how hard I try. I am ok with being vulnerable to hurt and betrayal - such is a human experience. I won't let fear of it rule my life though - I am much more than that. I can (still) have a good life - I did not betray myself or anyone else so I can live with my conscience.
Wish you all the best as well 😉
After 18 years your value has gone way down and his has gone up. He has the right to explore partners who aren't old, used, and nagging
Just some observations as I've struggled with this exact thing: Dating apps turn humans into brands at best or literally act as pimps at worst. The introduction of hookup culture and "corn" has destroyed so much of our culture socially. It's created the illusion of unlimited options and perfect matches. It has also cheapened long term relationships and the sacred nature of intercourse. Polyamory may destigmatize a reality in which humans have complex physical and emotions needs, but it will not address underlying feelings of insecure or avoidant attachment and will act as a lightning rod to draw those in, as well as narcissists looking for a never ending supply. Due to the Coolidge effect, I'm not convinced of the ability to maintain loyalty without resentment bubbling up. Absolutely nobody should be in a relationship with someone who resents them for asking for the bare minimum of commitment. I am not interested in hooking up. I never was, I never will be. I would never cheapen my energy like that. If I'm being honest, serial monogamy just feels like polyamory with more steps. I'm not looking for a companion or experience. I'm looking for a life partner to build with. Someone safe. Someone who can compartmentalize when to be tough and when to be soft. Someone who values growth as a person. Someone who shares my values of longevity, instead of looking where the grass is greener when things get tough. Someone who doesn't suffer from the demons of addiction or believe the world revolves around their wants. Someone who sees the values of responsibility and who would sacrifice now for a better tomorrow. Someone not driven by hedonism, but by care and compassion for others. Someone with hope, instead of nihilism. I am indifferent about having children, because most women I see having them end up as single parents. I am never going to put myself in that position. Children need fathers. Good, present, compassionate fathers. The world is hard. It's easier when we face it together and remember we are on the same team. Choose for values. Don't choose for infatuation masquerading as love. Love is not just a feeling. It's a bond maintained by action of sacrifice. It's also not fair to ask unconditional love of anyone, other than yourself. We read our intentions, but judge the world by its actions. In reality, everyone should be judged by action alone, not hiding behind principles. Good men and good women exist. Now to have a good relationship, we just have to stop being so afraid of each other.
@@indigoneutral 🐲 thank you for that post... it resonates very much... partially perceived as paradox, but still it triggers my most inner aspects. 🤔
🙏🏻🧘🏻♂️🙏🏻
Well stated 🙏🏼🪷
Wow. Thank you. Beautifully wise and articulate. You speak my soul and thought as a fellow woman traveller of these complex realms.
This is all I would look for in a relationship. Thank you for saying this so beautifully
@@indigoneutral In acknowledging that the world is hard, you've inadvertently validated why dating apps and hookup culture exist, as well as why the cultural elements you value are being destroyed:
In a hard world, people want their needs to be achievable enough based on where they're at. If that's not possible, they'll either make it easier or give up on/destroy the whole thing.
The cultural elements you value don't meet the needs of many, and are thus being devalued accordingly.
We prevent a person's authentic expression when we don't allow them to say uncomfortable things to us or in our presence. 😂😂😂😂
Lol sad unfortunate truth
also, it’s important that both people in the dynamic are allowed to say uncomfortable things in the other’s presence.
You are always allowed to say whatever you want. It’s our partner’s response that we fear and that fear makes us decide to keep quiet.
@@shelbyphan7771 you're right, sometimes it's like that.
This has ramifications
1 the fear it's created through conditioning from other relations or just learning how others react to certain things in general etc.
2 the fear is a result of your current partner conditioning it... well that's how the partner actually decided what you are "allowed" to say 🤷
3 the fear is a result of social conditioning using propaganda and even punishment under law... Like for example in some countries, if you call fat a fat person you can be sued 🤷 This is another way someone else decides what you're "allowed" to say or not.
4 you can fear hurting the other person unnecessarily, when you care for them, by saying something that actually doesn't really matter that much to you. Fear is not always bad. Love is all inclusive, therefore includes fear 🤷 Fear is not necessarily opposing love. It's a matter of balance 🤷
Basically putting a bullseye on our face.
FINALLY someone is bringing up the current housing fiasco. Thank you for that.
Very accurate analysis. I am a sociologist ans historian. She’s on point there.
Same in Australia
Everyone ls been talking about it 🤨
How could a system created in 1944 with the Bretton Woods agreement possibly have predicted the population growth and planned to provide housing for larger future generations? With what resources would they have acted and to what end?
@@Ac90854 Bretton Woods ended in 1971.
My girlfriend just enjoy lying next to each other or sitting next to each other. We have no other expectation except that we enjoy being in each other's company. It's a VERY simple model.
What about financial responsibility? Do you pay for everything?
We just got back from a weekend get away. I paid for dinner on Friday. Then Saturday night she wanted to pay. Sure fine. No problem. We both have jobs.
Life demands growth
If you’re intelligent, financially independent and have self reverence, you won’t fall for a poor bargain and if things change, you won’t hesitate leaving.
Amen, that is exactly what I did!
PERIOD
In that order and you can’t remove even 1of those
The problem is entitled women
Yes keep leaving those women men! Man power!!!
Teal is one of one. There is nobody else like her doing this work.
I feel like people aren’t satisfied or appreciative of what they have. It’s not easy finding a partner you truly get along with who has integrity, is honest, etc. but once they have it they always feel they can do better
@@DHarma1923 Progress requires dissatisfaction.
@@DaAxiomatic meaningless comment in this context.
Exactly this and I've seen it from both men and women. A woman will find a good man and be happy but after a while, she wonders if she can do better so she tries to climb the ladder to what she thinks is a better man only to realize the grass isn't greener on the other side and she just ruined the good relationship she had. Likewise, a man will find a nice cute girl and be happy but then he gets greedy and arrogant and thinks I can get a hotter girl and ends up ruining his relationship.
@@jibberism9910 It's meaningful. And also not something we wanna acknowledge due to rejecting the fact that pain is a fundamental part of life.
@@Cookiesrfood Cliches. If they wonder about what else is out there, the relationship was never right or satisfying in the first place.
Because sex has been devalued by corn, people don't believe in love in a special way anymore so they jump from one person to the other.
So true!
Literally 😅
Personally for me corn is irrelevant, i just watched and experienced communication about needs, behaviours and feelings breaking down often and saw other peoples relationships dissolve all the time as well. That changed my views on relationships and love, not the fun videos
Know yourself first.
Love yourself first.
Everything else is SECOND
You _are_ everything else. and everything is a part of you
We actually know ourselves within relationship… That's why it's so hard
I disagree
“Love yourself first” sounds like a recipe for selfishness. I would replace that with “Respect yourself first”. Then “find some bigger ideal to which you should subjugate yourself to in the pursuit of meaning”. That can be a number of things: career, society, a cause, family etc. I do believe we should not try to pursue happiness but contentment in life. Happiness is the extra toping on top that creeps up on you. Sounds like what Jordan Peterson would say, still i subscribe to that ethos.
@@teomosu Loving oneself first is not selfishness. The reason most relationships end up failing is because people are looking for another person to fill a gap in their lives. They're hoping that another person's "love" will complete them and make up for their own feelings of abandonment, lack of self-respect unworthiness or insecurity. Since nobody can ever live up to or fulfill those expectations, the relationship eventually disintegrates.
A healthy, loving relationship can only happen when two emotionally healthy people come together. That means people who have worked through and healed their traumas, people who have come to love and respect themselves and really get to know who they are.
All relationships teach us something about ourselves. And not all relationships are meant to last forever because people grow and change and sometimes people grow apart and that's ok.
That said, the healthiest relationships imo are the ones where two people come together because they choose to share their lives, not because they NEED the other for whatever reason.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
Its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 5 years ended, but i couldn't just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Intriguing! I'm curious, how did you find a spiritual counselor, and what's the most effective way for me to reach him?
Meet Owen Abiola, a renowned spiritual counselor acclaimed for his talent in bringing back ex-partners.
Thank you for this valuable information.
Dr Owen abiola is a very powerful man
The best examples of relationships that I saw in my life were so simple and yet so hard. I mean people who fixed most of their red flags instead of using them to disqualify. These people grew old and gray holding their hands while being gentle but firm with each other.
I always had the perception that their love for each other was Godly, unconditional and faithful, and maybe that holy unworldly energy was the fuel for life's transactions and hardships.
God bless! 🙏
Wow Best comment in this thread
@@javireyes7333 ❤️ thank you!
If those people want to fix the red flags yes…
@@javireyes7333 thank you! ❤️
@@bordercollieluxiotherwise it's wasted time
Wow, This video summarizes what I have felt about relationships for years. The reasons why traditional marriages don’t work because of the new roles of men and women in society. I recently got divorced after 30 years of marriage. Essentially our needs were not being met. Thank you for your explanation about this topic. It is very healing to understand the truth about relationships and how they need to be looked at!
How are you always reading my mind? The timing of your videos is phenomenal and reminds me that my individual concerns are shared with everyone - you are TUNED IN.
No
As always, Teal puts very abstract concepts pulled from science and research into "human readable form". I come from medical/psychtherapy background and I read a lot of scientific literature on topics that Teal is talking about.... but I'm always envious on how she's able to put it right. When I talk about such things... to most people it just sounds boring. There is a paper on this in evolutionary psychology recently published by Danish scientist. But the way Teal puts things together.... is just so amazing. The part where she says something like "if we could only zoom out our perspective on how relationships look like over time....".
Huge respect of her work 🙌
The first part of this video is probably the best synopsis of what is going on with the state of relationships in 2024. On a personal note, I am 52m never married and no kids; it's just so much easier and less stressful this way.
This could all be summarized by simply stating that narcissism is on the rise. That’s it.
No doubt. All relationships are transactional
@@neveragain733Narcissism is about extreme selfishness, not transactions. But its subtle.. like most gurus.
that's what happens when you let hypergamy free. (feminism)
@@borishudej691 what narcissists do is they don't feel emotional empathy so they don't naturally give love. They separate emotions from needs. Thus their needs become transactional. This person is expected to do this and I will do this in return. It's a contract.
Teal is not subtle at all, she's projecting. This video is for her inner circle as a means to justify their living situation or the living situation she wants. It's very obvious from the examples she is giving. She's looking for validation from her viewers.
I wasn't expecting this from this video. click bait. Teal I'm not going to be your flying monkey. Seriously, no one cares if you live a harem lifestyle. Sheesh.
If anyone in her inner circle reads this, if you are unhappy reach out and leave. You are not a servant nor should you be treated like one just because Teal gives you a nice place to live.
This video is so transparent it's awful. 😬
@@Alazar654hypergamy isn't feminism or the American feminist movement. Hypergamy deals with social status and caste systems when it comes to romantic relationships/marriages.
Are you implying that women that have higher status or economic means in America are contributing to the increase in Narcissism? 🤨
I customized the exchange aspect of my relationship out of necessity. Then my wife and I spent the last 3 years trying to understand why the traditional wife and husband roles were not working. This video may have saved me a few grand in marriage counseling fees.
Customizing our relationships makes so much sense. As consumers we should understand the need and value of customization.
people often negatively judge and shame people for desiring what they were taught to believe is normal and what to expect
The relationship example at the end of the video sounded like a nightmare. Would rather be alone forever.
Agree!! Why would you subject yourself to a life full of complete strangers and expose your child to what is a lack of real commitment and companionship.
I think her point was just that there's other options out there
A nightmare for you, a dream to another.
@@jackalx2154 well said, it sounds like a great idea!
As someone stuck with a monster who won’t sign divorce papers and lives to mock me and steal $…
I wish I was alone. I wish I never met this monster. 12 years of jail. (Mental and spiritual jail).
Girl you speakin my language. This has been a recent awakening for me. I have tried to do the whole fall in love, move in and “settle” and I’m just not happy in that. I don’t want kids, I don’t want to be married and I want to travel and enjoy life. I don’t want to try to stay with someone for 30 years just for legacy. I am so so okay with being single and when I find a guy who aligns with these vibes it’s going to be a new experience for me!
Just curious how old are you?
@@Femininemusic571 26
I had a blast on my 20. My thirties have been awful 😢
@@Femininemusic571 I’m 26, almost 27
@@carolinapadron1486why?
Not many people are totally whole within themselves to be in a relationship. If not it’s too much work.
Yes! I've been saying that last bit so much. If everyone can just be honest with themselves and what they truly want out of life it would be the most gorgeous thing we've ever seen. If you start being honest with yourself you can find an honest partner who matches the same frequency!! ❤
Teaching single mothers to work and live together, contributing financially as a team and helping with their 'herd' of children.
The balance of light and dark, feminine and masculine within us all is necessary and trying to slowly occur. Balance is the essence of everything. A lot of good points here.
Correction, Dark=masculine, Shadow=feminine, Light=masculine, Wisdom=feminine . The original family= The heavenly Father(Dark) The heavenly Mother(shadow) The heavenly Son(Light) and the heavenly daughter (Wisdom). Positive(Masculinity) negative (femininity). All Males are the incarnation of the Original Male(The Dark/Void). All Females are the incarnation of the original Female(Shadow/chaos) Also known as the first creation of the Void.
Teal & team! Please do an episode on the invention of dating apps and how it has affected human relationships, I wanna know about it from your (wider? higher?) perspective!
Thank you
I can give you the male perspective if you are interested. Some very good looking and high status men get almost all the matches, while the average men get nothing.
Good idea
@@gregorkerka1235I gave myself to some not so good looking and middle high status men and still they used and rejected me. They probably stay stuck in the thought that whatever they get isn’t good enough.
@@javireyes7333 I guess you are older than me. I should have told you my experience come from as a young man trying to date young women. Middle aged men surely have more options. Its annoying that those who want relationship struggle to get one, while others who have options dont want to commit.
Yessss pleassse
Men are learning to be men again and the evolution of our genuine selves is beautiful as a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. ♾️🌀❤️🔥
possibly the most important work you've done to date - a really well thought out, structured and delivered piece - thank you Teal
But Teal, what about containment?
Sure things need to be reimagined but that doesn’t mean undoing everything. Monogamy is definitely ideal. It’s success comes down to the individuals authenticity and good faith, when looking for a person to enter relationship with. It’s always going to come down to the individual, not problems inherent in certain structures. I promise being polyamorous and or swinging isn’t going to be good for your kids or your relationship with your person, or yourself. The idea that two people can truly love each other and go to a swingers party to watch their person be as physically intimate as possible with another person is truly laughable. I think Teal is just too horny and wants to normalize that sort of behavior lol
please do make an episode on how dating apps have changed the relationship landscape! I'm super curious to hear your thoughts on this topic!
This video makes so much sense yet a lot of people really are not self aware of how a relationship should look like and it is so hard for me to understand why. It is common sense, it is logical yet a lot of people really cant grasp this concept.
There's been a lot of emotional disconnect. Usually we learn love from our mothers. Our parents, grandparents, family and community are meant to teach us how to love. Lately we've become very disconnected and nobody is "there" a sense of community is lost with this new generation.
I have feeling it’s about our core wound of rejection and all other things like fear that sets in on molecular level when woman gets pregnant in this scary world for both parents and that energy stays with us and is universal almost especially in modern world!✌️
@Whattimeislove-cd8xn You're bullshitting . Plenty men barely raise their own😂
Thank you for this video. I realize that I've been challenging the 20th century paradigm of relationships without quite knowing it. The man expected me to behave on certain ways amd I would oblige to "keep" him for my security but I cld never keep the status quo. I need comment but freedom at the same time. I can now be more intentional about what I need/want on relationship and no longer be submissive to what the other needs or wants if not compatible.
Not much Hope here.
Couldn't have been more resonant to this moment in my life.
we need to be very very honest with ourselves
Each of them are THRIVING while sharing their living space and privacy with 8 other people?? Give me a break.
The cost of living is making that inevitable but then the hidden hand of economics has a lot to do with this.
@@dr.strangelove5708 They want us like this. But at least let' not pretend it's all right and even IDEAL!
This is BS. Problem, and the above example is perfect, we are led by karmic or wound-based desires a lot of the time.......that have nothing to do with our allignment with our higher self. Lust is at the core of many of these stories, precisely because it's based on mostly earthly conditioned impulses.
It's fine to be polyamorous. The point is..........what consciousness does it breed? Does it breed healthy individuals and relationships IN PRACTICE?
Customize, but costumize based on your SOUL impulses...........
I agree. Today people yearn so much to fulfill their uninhibited wants that they never stop to question the psychology behind why they have such drives that deviate from their best interests.
Just because you healed some sexual trauma and you still feel unfulfilled in the reasonable variety or reasonable quantity of sex in your life, doesn't mean that you've attained your healthy standard for the rest of your life, as it is very well known in psychology and spirituality that desire stems from lack, and that feeling of lack can easily be naturalized by observing the drive behind the desire. There is probably more trauma there to be observed. There might even be a period of dissociation from realizing that there isn't much behind sexual experiences that haven't fostered the most profound of vulnerable intimacies. Without it, sex can still be vulnerable to a degree, for sure, but is it worthy enough to divide attention from a partner more deserving of support and growth than any other? Do you convince yourself you aren't dividing your attention, or sex drive, or emotional consideration, or spiritual devotion from the one to be held highest?
Today it's part of so many cultures to rest in the easiest and most pleasurable of hedonistic comforts-despite the struggles of stifled living situations-instead of questioning how the past forged their minds and how the observation of their authentic selves' potential can expose a path of alignment toward lasting contentment through a commitment to the deepest of intimacies through unity-not a forced pseudo-intimacy for those struggling with a fear of a committed devotion to true closeness-the ultimate of human experience outside of contact with the god concept itself, completely unobtainable to those who live with unfocused commitment. This is what they're missing.
Such profoundly unified intimacy is the inevitable outcome for all truly mentally healthy individuals, as more mental health permits a more profound vulnerability and intimacy, with their lived situation of physical reality permitting , of course. Such intimacy is possible for anyone committed to the exclusive catharsis of spirit that is attained by a shared experience of such untethered oneness.
Could you do an episode on the low birth rate / low fertility rate trend? I myself am childfree and so are most people I know. I’m curious about Teal’s perspective on this trend that is becoming more and more mainstream and prevalent
It’s called being poor and having better birth control than in the past
My thoughts (also childfree)…I am one of the very few women in my line who has had the opportunity to experience a life that I choose, that is about freedom to follow my intuition and desires and not about raising children or devoting my life to another (a child). I’m honored to be in this position, to be able to choose and shape my life in a way many have not been able to. Looking at this from the perspective of the universe-it Is experience! And a rare form of experience…that is one of my contributions to the universal knowledge
Her chuckle always gets me… thank you 🙏🏽 ❤
Before judging any relationship one should ask two questions:
- Is it working for the couple, no matter if straight, gay, married or just "living together"?
- Does the relationship cause any harm to another sentient being?
If the answer to question1 is Yes and the answer to question2 is No. Great!
I dont have any source, but heard lesbians have a even higher divorce rate.
👏
I agree, but keep in mind that kids are "sentient beings." Too many poly people just handwave away the damage that polygamy does to kids.
Of course if no kids are involved, go ahead.
This is a laser accurate assessment of the current dating scene
I really appreciate the way you itemized out each of these alterations in societal norms during this time of transition. I always enjoy hearing your very unique perspective and your ability to precisely explore the realities of what is happening around us. Great video!
Transition. Trans mutation.
A must-watch for everyone struggling with relationshios and social norms right now.
Thanks Teal
I've been given that example and I absolutely hate that🤷. I do not want to get super independent at a very young age because for what? I love my parents and they are very important for me and it is also important to have a repaired relationship with them. Trying to get super independent as fast as possible devastated my whole nervous system 🤯.
@@UzdrawianiePoprzezDźwięki So act accordingly. Do what works for you, discard what doesn't.
In other words, customise.
This was true in the reality that I chose to date people who didn’t love both their parents and came from broken homes. I’ve been dating a girl for a few years now that loves her parents and they’ve been together throughout her whole entire childhood up until now and they are still together and thriving. So my relationship with her is very easy because of that, and none of this that Teal is talking about in this video is my current reality anymore. Moral of the story, choose people who have had a good role model in terms of what marriage looks like, when you’re vetting someone new today make sure that they have a good relationship with both of their parents first.
So people who have tumultuous relationships with their parents should remain alone?
@@vettie It’s more so about respect. Everyone is deserving of love and relationships.
A man that cannot respect his mother is a man that will not respect women. A woman that cannot respect her father, is a woman that will not respect men & vice versa. In these cases, by default they will end up alone often and have more unfulfilling relationships.
It also depends on what exactly you want, you can want the version of what relationship are like based on what teal is describing in this video, or you can want the traditional relationship where you want marriage and you want children the woman is more focused being a good wife and focused on raising the children while the father is the sole provider and being a good husband and a good father.
I personally choose a woman that loves / respects her parents because my values are more in line with that route because I came from a broken home and told myself I’d build a healthy relationship that will last.
It’s all personal preference, you choose whatever path suits you and your lifestyle.
Had to pull out my popcorn for this😂 🍿🍿
😂
Thank you again for looking at the gray and the whole picture. 🙏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I love you Teal. But I can’t get on board this train which you propose as a solution.
Thanks for recognizing the breakdown of the traditional train, it’s more than most manage. But, I feel you’ve completely missed the mark on this one.
People often negatively judge and shame people for desiring what they were taught to believe is normal and what to expect.
Such norms are vague lines at best, and to be treated as such.
My parents are 83 and 81 years old. They got married at 17 and 19 and dated for two years before they married each other.
Their history up till today.
1. The pain of growing together is too easy to label as codependency and has a negative connotation. It's all perspective.
2. Regardless of religion, their marriage vows meant something to be lived.
3. Every 10ish years they had serious talks about compromises for the present needs of themselves and how to stay together. They committed to the changes.
4. Zero internet their whole lives.
....... Now thaat is a relationship
I haven't heard you say that your life was happy and healthy. None of these things matter UNLESS they were happy and had healthy conflict resolution.
My parents have been married for 40 years, what does that say about them? Not much.
People sometimes think that a long relationship equals healthy and happy. Not true
@@pr00009how do you know? Was it happy? Just because they didn't have internet doesn't mean much 😂Just because they stayed together and made "compromises" doesn't mean they were happy.
Longevity =/= quality.
This points are the same for me and my hubby except we only have 35 years together and obvi, we have internet. Healthy, happy relationship that actually started as fwb.
True, every time your spouse gets the least, but irritated at you. You discover later that they're swiping a couple of apps that they're paying for each month to look for someone on the side.
Please do a video on dating apps and the effect of technology in general on relationships ❤
Question: If Parker was a woman, would his story be an inspiring example? ‘She gets to live in a really great house’ 😅, and her husband has them set up at swingers clubs? Is that a conceivable framework also? Or is this reframeworking only attractive when it’s female-led?
Divorce does not necessarily indicate that the relationship was bad, so that statement felt a bit “black & white”. Especially nowadays, there are more divorces where the couple stay in good standing and co-parent with a lot more peace than they had while together.
I think we have to stop assuming that a relationship was bad simply because it didn’t end in the couple holding hands in the grave.
@@Liolia22 Facts.
Longevity =/= quality.
@@DaAxiomatic it’s hard for people to let go of the thousands year dogma.
Well you Americans how you started soon you won't have a fear for that at all. Cause there will be rarely any marriages.
Only hookups, cats, wine and pills😂
On one hand I agree, but on the other hand if a marriage ends in a divorce AND THERE ARE KIDS, then I think it's a failure just because divorce is so devastating to kids. This is a fact that society really doesn't like to talk about but it's true.
And sure bad marriages are also bad for kids, but 1) I think people overestimate how bad non-optimal marriages are and underestimate how bad divorce is for kids, and 2) if the options are "maintain the relationship and hurt the kids or divorce and hurt the kids" then yeah something did go wrong in the relationship somewhere.
But if there are no kids involved, I agree.
@@lightworker2956 The best thing you can give to a kid is a happy home.
The next best thing you can give to a kid is anything but an unhappy home.
I like this, it reflects a lot of the thoughts ive been having lately. It's very clarifying to hear someone else say it
I love you. ❤ So happy you made this video as I've been trying to understand what is the right romantic relationships configuration for me. And kept asking for a video about that. 🙏 And this video makes me realize I cannot just listen to coaches or people's advice, but truly tap into what is my deepest truths and those might still be subconscious to me. Thank you for the kick in the ass to be more sovereign and creating my life as is authentic to my individuality. You're the best. 🔥❤
So refreshing to see that leaders can reflect snd update their teachings. That they see and truly know that there is no one way to be human. And no “right” way to be human.
I've been waiting the whole day for a new video 😂❤
A life might help.
@@roses6564 oh, you're suggesting me to kill myself? Thank you.
In her earlier videos and occasionally in interviews Teal will touch on amazing subjects. Shamanism, spirit animals, crystals, out of body travels, the energies of different cultures and places etc. really fascinating stuff. I wish she would talk about these topics more often. I even joined her on line community thinking she saved the juicy topics for paying customers ( she doesn’t). I love Teal and have been following her for a decade but I wish she would talk about something other than relationships.
Thanks for formulating something I agree with but hadn't verbalized.
Every relationship is unique is my takeaway and it takes communication and understanding of values to explore happiness together and what that looks like for you.
I’ve gotten into the habit lately of comparing what my family life looks like to others posting on social media and it can make you feel not enough/sad, but it’s so flawed and I have to redirect myself to what is going well in my own life and family and gratitude
People overanalyze. It leaves them with empty hands and overflowing heads.
People need to stop this minmaxing. It is a game concept, not a viable way to experience life.
I absolutely 💜 teal. This video just summarised.my thought process over the last few months and I keep thinking how I could help people see this about relationships. I spent 10 yrs learning about relationships academically and personally and my conclusion is in this video. I found the systems was not working in my own relationship and I needed to create something new. My partner is still in the matrix but I am finding that as I change and expose him to different ideas, we've been able to find a new rhythm. But u will go through a lot on imbalance and uncertainty. Often u will feel like break up is the only option. But it is so worth the work to change dynamics and challenge the status quo.
It all boils down to what you value… you can not serve two masters….
You shouldn't serve any masters, but rather stay true to yourself.
@@SerenaEMorganEveryone serves a master. The only question is, do you pick your master or does it pick you?
@@NJGuy1973 "My one dream, my only master."
22:44 are they thriving? Maybe they are, but sounds like just a NEW Disney tale that didn’t look at the realities/stressors and complex emotions that will arise. So they MAY be thriving. And maybe for a while, but there’s a lot under that rug too.
You described my beliefs on relationships to a T, it was almost scary!
So beautiful and elegant❤
The only relationship model I want is to find a man that will love me back and being with him outside civilization living off the land because at this point, I dont care for the sick society anymore.
precisely, me also🤘🏻
good luck 🍀🙏🏻
@@elena-jp6ge Thanks! To you too. 🥰🍀🌞
@@jpeters868 Exactly. 90's and early 00' sound perfect. 🌞🍀
It is very hard to meet our needs outside of civilization . If you can find a man to love you who has a similar dream you can find a new way within the constraints of nature and economics.
You and I are on the same wavelength about almost everything so far.
Including the big picture/variables.
I've been too scared to speak up like you
I'm so terrified of being seen. Not so much from childhood trauma.
But from the last four and a half years.
Sure did open my eyes to a lot of things
My newest and best relationship is wonderful. He's a bit shy, and for more serious conversations happen over the phone. My poor guy had a messed up abusive relationship. I respect his choices and also one day our plans went away, he apologized and took full responsibility and flinched. When he apologized he was so sweet and didn't want to disappoint me. When he flinched, I didn't have the heart to be mad, I also hugged him, thanked him, and suggested we regroup for a different plan. I live this man, I never want to hurt him, and I compliment him on all the things I love that he does.
I do not agree with this at all. In short, today's relationships have lost their meaning, where the place of we has been replaced by me.
It's normal that it doesn't work because when we remove the family as the foundation of everything, we turn away from what should be. The Internet is not a safe place, but then again, as humans, we seek connection with others, that's why we write comments.
@selmasvast9911 I come from a large family, all with parents, aunts and uncles who are all married and then if you look at the children, myself, and all of my cousins, none of us are married but we are all much happier with our partnerships and friendships than our parents' are with their marriages (our parents are used to arguing/fighting in the privacy of their homes, and then pretending to be happy couples in pictures and around others, but then complaining or making gossipy, envious comments about others). When me and my cousins all get together with our partners, we are chill, positive, happy for one another - doesn't matter if someone's gay, or has two partners, or has a different partner every week, we actually truly support one another and are there for each other. So it really depends on what "family values" mean, because our parents (gen Xers, boomers) were trying for a model of following the bible and traditional values, but none of us feel accepted or love, and they don't even feel it themselves within their own marriages, they just say they do, but then we kids have to suffer their arguments behind closed doors. Meanwhile, we saw that, decided nope -- and live a more free and accepting lifestyle, but then we're all actually supportive of one another, actually positive, actually trying to grow and be better people - that's real connection and family to me. Also nothing against the bible/traditional values - I think that if people value that, and value the people in their life, than that is wonderful. But for the case of my family, they were disrespecting the people in their life and using the bible to hide behind, that's super shitty.
@@selmasvast9911 Today's relationships have lost their meaning because their meaning didn't meet the needs of the people.
"We" has been replaced by "me" for the exact same reason.
You want those two values back? Either they adapt to meet our needs or they die off.
@@DaAxiomatic Monkey see, monkey do is not a need - it is surrogate BS.
But one thing is for sure, if people who carry contemporary culture don't wisen up fast, we will all pay the ultimate price, and indeed - die off.
That is all that will happen. There will be no new norm based on today's vapid nonsense that has a chance at succeeding.
@@audy2174 true. The Dune movies have made me think that, like the Bene Gesserits planting plans since the beginning of time, maybe our current religion/s have been planted to "brainwash" people. In fact, the Bible only has one agenda, to keep the human race reproducing. And then there's a lot of DON'Ts. Like, how are we going to experience the fullness of human potential if we restrict ourselves from doing maximal things per restrictions from the Bible?
@@audy2174 I'm sorry for your experience, but the Bible has nothing to do with it. But human behavior
Thats exactly how I feel. Id rather be alone if he is not gonna work, if hes not going to help me. Im doing everything. Studying, working, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house. I get tired. Im trying to communicate more and I had to learn to put my love to the side and become transactional.
Parker's relationship is doomed to failure and in due time even he will know that!
Swinger's clubs are full of tramp souls vampirizing energy of the living, to an extent that I have seem goers get really sick for a long time!
Teal's inteligence and intuition are amazing, but sometimes she is blind and fails miserably in her assessments! A lot to learn from her anyway.
She is justifying sexual immorality/sin. it is how satan works because she herself has relationships like this
As a member of generation x, I can tell you exactly why every single person, including myself, has had their relationships destroyed.
Outside influence. Most my friends, it was a Yahoo chat room divorce. Mine, was a court system getting involved. They decided I was a bad man, because, my ex walked into the emergency room without my child's insurance card.
Destroying relationships is an industry now. And this hasn't just happened. It's been going on for years. You're just now more aware of it.
Indeed. And sorry to hear that.
There seems to be a new phenomenon of young adults choosing to become estranged from their parents. I would love to hear more about that.
Well, part of it is that young people have it way tougher than their parents did, and parents aren't acknowledging that, leading to resentment.
James Lindsey has a lot to say about this- (though I disagree with him on lots). Part of it is natural. Part of it is a purposeful attempt to radicalize the youth-the first step is to turn them against older generations, separating them from the people who care about and protect them 💜 so they can then be groomed as tools
I love you Teal and I normally agree with absolutely everything you say if not sit with a pen and paper to take notes.
And that includes the first half of this video, your analysis of the problem is 100% on the money.
I struggle to imagine the suggestions to be very successful though, for the same reason that war is still unavoidable.
I.e. the spiritual maturity level of most people.
When you genuinely care about universal love, there is always an explanation and solutions.
But that necessitates everybody being on the same page.
I know of one "seemingly successful" Mr Mom type arrangements and many, many others that failed miserably.
I personally think that steering our new modern dating styles in a different way would be better.
For example women shouldn't be waiting until in their 30s to have kids, men should be expecting themselves to make enough money to at least be the primary provider, a man who makes the decisions respects himself and is respected by his partner.
My suggestion is to honour your gender first and make exceptions later.
If you're a man be a provider first and homemaker second, and if you're a woman be a mother first and a professional second.
Everyone can have what they want but if we honour the truth of masculine and feminine roles we all do much better than if we don't.
Thanks for the video though it's really helpful to keep having this conversation with the public in a productive manner.
Keep doing what you do Teal! 💙
this is a topic i needed so much recently
I am a highly educated stay at home mom and I hate it. I live in a different country from my family and have zero support. I resent having to do everything for my daughter and would love to co inhabit a house with another family to share parenting responsibilities. That just would be so perfect. I hate the way things are run now, it just doesn't work!
Great video. We are in a time of great confusion on what is working and not in relationships
Great analysis Teal, thank you!
NO relationship is unconditional, except maybe mother and child!
And not even mother and child often these days 😢
Some conditions on love safeguard society; withdrawing love from child abusers, SAers, murderers, etc.
Mother and child relationships aren't unconditional. I speak from experience (as the child).
Jealousy + hypocrisy = no relationships = me, myself and I
Did Teal just make her own wishes into the relationship example? The woman won’t be able to prevent losing attraction to the man who takes on this role. I know, I believed it could work very well. It doesn’t.
A relationship is a ship upon which to relate and float through life
I wish it was simple. I just want to hold hands, give kisses, chocolates and flowers. ☺
It was once. Hunter-gatherer or any other animal specie have it much easier. We made it complex just like anything else
And it is.
@@selmasvast9911 You're a woman, for you it's relatively simple. Dating is relatively easier for women than for men, because women are stupidly picky and men aren't. The person you responded to is likely a man (going by the name), and so it's not simple for him.
Be aware of your privilege.
No way, I found they best partner in my life. He adores, he likes my structure. We are flawed,.. but it is a perfect fit. Still strong after 3 years, it is forever with him.
Good luck but just fyi 3 years is nothing in the long run, your relationship is still a baby. I hope you can make it 20+ years
Spot on Teal!!
I got the message in 2019, that any relationship that works for me, would be Very Unconventional
This is extremely different from "What every woman needs to know about men" and "What every man needs to know about women"
Sorry, but I'll never be cool with polyamory, and living with other couples/singles/swingers/etc. This video is probably intended for a market with a much more open mind than mine.
She changed a lot after the whole documentary fiasco and Blake left. Her teachings don’t feel the same.
As a man I'm not okay with polygamy as well. I think people who do that need lots of mental stimulation and can't deal with boredom with their partner.
She used to say the majority on Earth need monogamy at this point, we are simply far far away from being evolved to truly be polyamorous.
You will realise one day the real human nature and let go of jealousy and attachments. If you love yourself and are secure you don't care what the other is doing. Marriages were never intended for love anyway, read history.
@@RoxyCherryRozy jealousy is natural . Even animals get jealous.
Wow! I really resonated with a lot of the example you gave! Makes me feel a great sense of comfort.
I love you Teal
Love this! The example is spot on! ❤ we need diverse voices and people in our lives! Great job!
Hello Teal. I would love to hear your opinion on the present sexual marketplace, social media and dating apps.
Best description of our contemporary state relationships..
I think its the empathy gap between the sexes is widening. Too much polarisation. We forgot we Are only humans and suffer all the same. Its time to unite ❤
@@suzsiz No, we need to polarise more. Unity is currently more detrimental than we like to believe.
@@DaAxiomatic Based on?
More polarisation = more winning for those that do in fact respect their common ground. I think we can do better than play into their hands. And that is all that polarisation is doing. Hence the incessant cultivation of conflict in the media.
@@jibberism9910 Any movement away from something is due to that thing being useless or detrimental in its current form and/or point in time.
If we're moving towards unity, it's due to its usefulness in its current form and/or point in time. But we're moving away from it, meaning it's at best useless and at worst detrimental to our (subconscious) goals.
I think people have less empathy because never in history has life been so atomized, primarily by technology. Our tech-dystopia makes human contact almost optional, you don't need other people to get food, to make money (work from home), to buy things. Just push a button. The path of least resistance is max narcissism, no compromise, no sacrifice, not risking hurt with others, and its possible to live this way, but not fulfilling.
@@DaAxiomatic you overestimate people's free agency.
When the nazi's moved away from not systematically destroying people, it was not because of it's usefulness.
Crude example, but hope you catch my drift.
Many good points here, Thank you Teal.
Personally I think that the main reason to be in a relationship should simply be companionship. Find people you love, that you love to be around.
The more needs and conditions you have to stay in a relationship creates disharmony. It’s no longer about being a yin and a yang - it’s about having your own inner balance and independence. This isn’t a bad thing.
we are on our way to becoming enlightened again ❤
I honestly have to take a pause on this video and come back to this later due to time but I feel like there are a lot of people having an identity crisis.
Teal, Excellent in-depth clarity on why relationships can be so challenging and complicated to comprehend and understand. Excellent review Teal.