How A D*ck Pic & A Box of Vibrators Freed Lou Featherstone From The Expectations of Womanhood
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
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Welcome to the Zero F*cks Club! In this week’s episode of What’s Underneath: Defying Ageism, Lou Featherstone is blowing up the myth that menopause is a time to give up on your dreams, but it is actually THE perfect time to embark upon them. Moving from England to America in her late 40’s, the explosive style guru saw being labeled as her husband’s “dependent” on her visa as a metaphor for how little she had been valuing herself or putting herself first. As she looked to nourish her increasingly voracious appetite for finding herself, Lou started walking into her power by posting her “middle-aged” bum on Instagram-with love-and joyously rediscovering her body... one vibrator at a time. This rocket-shipped her on a path to self-worth that culminated in Lou’s daring yet devastating decision to leave her husband, despite her love and respect for him, and step into midlife solo and at the top of her own to-do list.
"One of the best things about menopause is that you just gradually find yourself giving less f*cks as the years roll by...Life has to start with you...so bring it the f*ck on!”
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Thank you to Bonafide for sponsoring this episode of our Defying Ageism series and standing with us in busting aging shame while also providing hormone-free relief from menopause symptoms. Go to www.hellobonafide.com and use promo code STYLELIKEU for 20% off your first subscription today.
I can’t believe how much “society” tries to make us fear aging. Also how vivacious the people who follow their passions are. 🖤
Amen to both! ❤️❤️
Why would anybody let "society" make them anything. Me, i often have to remind myself that there is a world and other people "out there".
Right amen we should grow old gracious
I'm 49 years young and to any of you younger women worried about being my age......don't be. It's wonderful to go through a change. I love who I am more with each passing year. I'm so comfortable in my own skin. When I was young I feared getting older. I never imagined that I would love it and that my body could be more beautiful to me (after having two kids) at 49, than when I was 23. I do give zero fucks these days. I'm single and loving it. I was divorced at 37 and have LOVED being single since. I did date my ass off for quite a long time, but now I love time alone and with my grown daughters.
This is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing 💗💗
@@StyleLikeU1 Thank you for all you do!
I read on another comment of yours, you said to young girls that our hormones hijacked us when we were younger. yes !! ohh yes🤟because now, at 60...which I was terrified to reach years ago but people are stunned , they think I'm more like 45...I too give ZERO FUCKS! I dress a bit more crazy ( tho I always did), I drive a muscle car, I keep my skin in better shape than most 40 yr Olds and I really don't care what ppl think about me anymore. Not to say we are rude but ..let's just say I'd definitely wear that outfit she's rockin!! AND the glasses!
@@ironmaven1760 You sound like someone I would love to know, no matter what our age. Keep being fabulous!
@@ironmaven1760 awesome!! I’m 63, tattooed on both hands and arms. I don’t feel old (unless my back hurts)!!
And yea, that’s a current picture of me!
I left a good man in our engagement. I was in a place of rapid growth and change. The person who he met was no longer someone I resonated with. I felt great. I felt alive. I felt free and independent after I left that relationship. I am in a much better mental and emotional space than when I met him. It was a lovely relationship but at the end of the day - if I am called to evolve and that means leaving a situation where I have no more room to grow, I'm bouncing out of there with full faith that it is in my best interest.
@@sm.9599 Sometimes when you’re going through a rapid change, the other person (whether they’re a partner or friend) isn’t ready to come with you. They’re still in the state they were in when you met. And that tends to make people incompatible.
Idk if that was NL A’s experience but sounds like it could be.
Good luck in your journey.
Thank you for sharing this. It is helpful for me.
I can absolutely relate! Thanks for sharing!
@@sm.9599 so interesting. Great comment. I relate to this, I let my partner get to know the new me and they loved me for who I changed to be. This worked for me but it might of not worked for others and that’s ok
I so understand this lady. I wish men understood more of what women sacrifice all our lives. I’m 48 and I have just started finding me again. It has totally scared my husband of 28 years. I wish he understood more of what I gave up to be with him. I feel guilty just typing that. Why do we as women feel so much guilt about finding our freedom to be us.❤️
Allow yourself to feel for you, I'm sure it's deserved. We have to break these cycles beginning with us, even if we don't have children, there are younger people seeing us all the time. And won't it be lovey for your hubby to see you in a brand new glow..Be your own inspiration! It doesn't have to be immediate, just one foot in front of the other. Sometimes those steps are hard & we lose our footing, it's the only way. A stubbed toe, scraped knee, tears, laughter, find strength in all of it. Above all else; trust yourself, be kind to yourself, know you're deserving & you'll find your way.
He needs to grow up
I divorced at 34 and don't care what men think of me. I don't look in the mirror and say oh darn, I was born female. That sucks for me. Hell no. Notice it's men that worry about women doing their own thing. Why? I don't care what fellows do. Knock themselves out, be themselves. Just don't trample on women's rights. I wouldn't tell a dude what to do with his body or his thoughts. Just want the same for myself. And I'd rather be alone then compromise who I am. Done with that garbage.
I so hear you xx
A woman's sacrifice? interesting. Men make up 54% of the workplace, yet endure 92% of workplace fatalities. Transportation incidents - shipping, truck driving, material handling, and the like - account for 37% of those fatalities. You know what most of these men were doing when they got k!lled at work?. . . . making money for their families.
Please tell me more about YOUR sacrifices. What exactly did you "give up" to be with your husband for 28 years? A house? A car? A family? Security? Stability? Is that stuff your "gave up"? Or is it stuff you GAINED by being married? I am serious!! I want to know exactly what you GAVE UP! to be MARRIED. On that note, 16% of white women in the US will NEVER marry. The divorce rate is still about 50%, yet 80% of those divorces are initiated by the woman - if she is college educated, that number is up to 90%.
What did you give up? What did you gain? My guess is you don't have the guts to respond to this. Surprise me. Prove how strong you are what a jackass I am by laying it all out here.
As a Portland local, it is a TREAT whenever I happen to see Lou out and about in an extravagant outfit. And it was such a lovely surprise to see her pop up on my subscription feed here on youtube with StyleLikeU, what an excellent feature!! Keep spreading your magic and wisdom, Lou!!
Right?!!! I am soooo proud to be a Portlander right now!! ❤️👊❤️
This is amazing 💗💗 so happy you enjoyed!
@@clairebeane3455 I feel there are few places she would have been able to land and been as accepted as she has..thankfully she found Portland ❤😊
At 53, I’m loving this woman and her approach to life. I’d love to have half of her personality. I’m ready to not be so inhibited by my fears.
Amen! We can't wait for you to let go of that inhibition by fears! XOXO
Go girl, go.
What are you afraid of? Seriously, the only thing to fear is fear itself, so. . . .stop it. Stop being scared.
34+ years together, 7 years no intimacy...I am gathering all of my strength to leave him. I would hate to think I am to live the rest of my life without any affection, deep kisses, cuddles, etc. ~Thank You~ for sharing these stories, these vulnerabilities, these triumphs. It's helping me wrap my brain around the fact that my marriage is most likely over. (sadly)
You think the grass is greener on the other side? You just wait an see how many men pump & dump you and not stick around and then you'll realize your mistake but by then it will be too late.
This is a woman I’d love to have a drink with. I bet she has the best stories and advice.
ME TOO!!!
Cried and laughed and said “fuck yes!” several times hearing her story ❤️❤️❤️ young girls need more role models like Lou!
We couldn't agree more! And so happy you loved the interview 💗💗
I'm 43, never married, no kids. I'm enjoying this phase. If the right guy comes, great. If he never comes, I'm ok with that too. This was a great conversation. I feel empowered listening to her.
Same here ❤
“i got fired from the pta because i let the moms drink wine at the school disco” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
she’s the kinda of spunky i aspire to be
I love these women. Please keep highlighting older women too. I have looked forward to every one of the menopause ones. Going through it right now (at 47), it’s really giving me life. 💖💖💖
Watched this with my husband of 3 years and it’s something I haven’t done before. Letting him into my deeper CZcams world. Thankyou for your voice and you have no idea how much your message resonates with me.
Her honesty is SO refreshing!!! Especially, how she talks about being loud and having a big personality + feeling selfish when you begin to really grow and discover yourself... It really is sad that a lot of us that are now 40+ weren't afforded as many freedoms as our younger counterparts to become our true selves without someone or something constantly (trying to) shove us back into our "place". We should have been able to have our youth, beauty, and our identity at the same time so our lives could have been fuller and more well rounded. I think about all the time I've lost and the ways in which I feel cheated that too many just want me and others like me to just "get over" because my time has supposedly past.. I'm glad more middle aged and beyond women are standing up and saying f#ck that! We're still here. Our time isn't over, it's just beginning! I aspire to be one of those women.
This is so beautiful! It seems to us that you ARE one of those women ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!
@@StyleLikeU1, Aww! That is so sweet! Thanks for seeing me. I truly am working on it.
Thank you for the last few what’s underneath. After 6 failed IVF attempts I have fallen into menopause earlier at 45… I feel safe and confident having these deep conversations with the woman in my life. It’s all just a journey ❤️
Have been sully menopausal for about 4 years now..I am 46. I also just figured out that I am on the autism spectrum. With menopause came a heightening of sensory issues, etc. I have been having to totally redefine everything that I have known about myself. It’s been a wild ride.
I knew lying in my hospital bed had triple bypass surgery that I had to end my 27 year marriage. The marriage was literally killing me. 4 years divorced I’m learning how to live and depend on myself leap of Faith results freedom and Peace. Freedom and Peace
"It feels great and it's so awful." oh my, yes. My 34th wedding anniversary is tomorrow, and I'm looking for my own place.
So are you divorced yet?
Well I found out after 28 years of marriage my husband cheated on me throughout. Broke my heart but now I honestly feel nothing about it and I’m glad to be free. I’m not divorced but going back to school and looking at options. This was hard but I’m actually glad now because I don’t have to feel guilty for doing what makes me feel alive.
@@sandraemmi431 I'm sorry to hear that. What an awful betrayal.
You should never feel guilty for doing what makes you feel alive, as long as you're not going around hurting people. Glad to hear you are going back to school and I wish you joy and peace.
@@robincrowflies thanks so much. ❤️
Kudos to Lou for her courage, zest for life, and choosing to be authentically herself! She is a living, breathing example of women celebrating our divine changes! Thank you StyleLikeU. Please continue featuring content such as the dynamic life of the middle-aged woman flowing. Thank you so very much!!!
I totally agree! LOVE it! ❤️
Yes!! Visibility is SO important!! 💕💕💕
We're so happy you loved the video! And Lou is incredible ❤️
“Menopause sucks because… the patriarchy”. I’m 💀😂
I freaking love her..her style, her self truth, her laugh, her zero fux given and of course her accent. I'd love to meet her one day.
Me too! Check her Insta and the captions there, she's incredible!!
As the amazing women we are, it is very important to accept, embrace all of the changes and view them as more opportunities to learn, teach, grow and improve ourselves on every phase. Putting your health, happiness and peace of mind first is not selfish at all. ❤💛💚
Well said
Thank you for this interview. I'm 52 and when my daughter left to go to college in London this past Sept I decided to focus the next year on self love and creativity. There is a strength found in being 'middle aged' and a beauty that is just simply different than when you were younger. Thanks for you being you Lou and thanks for inspiring me to be me.
I'm 47 in full swing of the pause 😂😂 my kids are sending me out my mind.. all 4! I'm also a widow but in a relationship for 4 years where I think I'm not understood due to these changes. This gives me hope. In all of my ups and downs I feel the need to be worship as a woman and take the time to do me now. All of me! I've gone through so much in 6 years from being put out of my home and having everything taken away from me to ganing so much over nite. The death of my husband of 20 years gave me hope that I can crawl out and relcame my voice the work I do as a performing artist/ carnival maker/photographer activists and then a mother tells me I'm capable of holding the world in my back. To all the women in menopause cheers to us and keeping strong.
I saw her in an episode of Ultimate Shopper, I loved her. And I sort of understand, I'll be only 35 in a few days, I've recently started to find what I really like, what I want to be, and sometimes it makes me sad because I feel the "good years" are gone.
Just wait until men stop harassing you...this is honestly the best change in my life so far. I'm not valuable to men anymore because I'm not "young and beautiful", but I am beautiful and I know it. Having sexual harassment be a thing of the past feels so freeing and allows me to absolutely dress how I want to dress, act how I want to act, have unpopular opinions, and have my face just be exactly what it is, me as a person
I’m glad you put “good years” in quote marks. Your younger years are no more or less special than any of the years that you get to be yourself, here on Earth. It is my hope for you that you realize the “good years” are just getting started! 💖
That's still very young. Your could change everything in your life and start over and go in a completely different direction. I think we've all got this idea of where we're supposed to be in life, at what age and if we miss that it' s too late but it's not. Life's a Journey not a destination.
"I'd be bugging without my legs"😆❤️ these are so visually amazing you can even watch them on mute. 8:30 Lou couching on the stool like a magical metamorphosis 😍🦋
Her and PINK give off similar energy
Inspirational. As the layers came off, Lou became more guarded and yet she is a beautiful person with a hidden sensitive side 🧡
The stunningly gorgeous representation of “midlife metamorphosis” ... zero crisis just beautiful evolution and unashamed, unabashed warrior woman Goddess power🧚🏽♀️
Love this lady's vivacious spirit!!
So inspired by this. It's time for such a brave new woman to become the norm. 🙌🏼
Beautiful human being...🙌🙌🙌🙌💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
Men hold you/woman back because they feel threatened..& that’s it in a nutshell..once you realise that you are free of your shackles.
I'm looking at all these comments just wondering what exactly are the shackles that are being implied. I'm asking on an honest level after watching hing this video. I don't think any of the men I'm friends with try to shackle their wives or girlfriends with said types of things. There must be some uncommunicated code in these videos..lol. I fend then truly inspiring.
I think this woman is beyond amazing!! I would love to have the privilege of knowing someone like her. 😊
Yes. Men want us to stay the little woman . My marriage is falling apart too because I am pursuing my career with an epic tv series about female sexuality and have found my sexuality. I feel your pain
Watching this series about menopause has changed SO much for me and the way I think about life and the future and it’s made me realize all of the bullsh*t and lies our society has fed to me about it. I’m only 19 but watching these has taken away so much of the fear I didn’t realize I had about getting older. All of these women are amazing and I can’t wait for the no fucks given stage it seems they have all gotten to ha ♥️♥️♥️
This channel is truly inspirational 🙏🏽
I’m always astonished how heartfelt and deep the interviews turn out, that says a lot about you ladies behind the camera: you do an amazing job of honoring your guests and creating a safe space during the interviews.
Thank you SO much for this. Honoring change in all the ways we can experience it - this is so beautiful and inspiring. Every day that we are on Earth we grow more beautiful; Regardless of what the adverts tell us.
Strength is beautiful. Courage is beautiful. Wisdom is beautiful. Experience is beautiful. Thank you 💖
I'm so grateful to yall for showing this. Very enlightening
Even though I can't relate to most things the protagonists from the recent series are referring to (older person than me, 21), it's so interesting to watch and to just hear their story of getting older before getting old myself. I'm already so scared of getting older (societyyy) and it definitely takes away some pressure, like you can still be absolutely fabulous when getting older and that everything that comes with a certain age is something, that can also be embraced if you let yourself to. Lots of love and thank you to everyone opening up about their journey, so inspirational 🧡
54 years old. I can so relate to so much of Lou's story and advice. Thanks for sharing. You look amazing dahling!
her glasses give me asmr lol it's comforting
Yep
massive props to Lou for being vulnerable and courageous, and really f*!king cool
I love Lou! Honestly the IG I miss the most since I've deleted IG from my phone! What a bright light she is, her charming charisma, her enormous heart and no fucks given attitude! Inspiration!
Refused to be Scared about the Change!!! Power to you love 💕
this hole month of menopause has me hoping for the future
I am now a loyal fan of Lou!! Thank you for introducing me to her 😊
This was great. I appreciated her vulnerability and identified with a lot of what she said regarding her marital life. It takes boldness to live and express yourself on your own terms. Kudos to her!
Lou Featherstone keep kicking ass and being your real self. The good and the bad. Crying and laughing. Strong yet such hard feelings about yourself. I needed this.
My absolute legend. Thank fuck for speaking up. You are apprechiated Lou. Absolute empowerment for me as a woman. Thank you!!!!
I’m so glad u these videos exist. Thank u!
Ugh, her look is everything!
I love this!!
Thank you for this series. I am always excited to watch the next release and learn about other people and their lives, both inner and outer. Thanks also for introducing me to Lou. Her honesty and outlook are inspiring!
She is so touching. So inspiring.
I love her story !! Amazing ❤️
I had no idea who she was before this, but I am now a fan. She is fantastic and I really enjoyed her insights.
God, I don’t know who half these women are but Jesus. Fucking badasses, all around! I absolutely love her!
I LOVE LOU ❤ 😍 I have been following her for the last couple years on Instagram... Thank you for spotlighting her positivity and beautiful soul!
I love this!!!!
Love, love, LOVE this woman! Absolutely pure undoubted fabulousness! This series is wonderful! I’m so appreciative to be able to hear these women talk about all of the things we as women think and feel but aren’t suppose to speak on.
She's Brilliant! Love her!
The only alternative to aging is 6 feet under or ashes. I prefer the aging.
It's so important for us to find our own identities, and reject the ones that people place upon us.
Her STYLE is EVERYTHANG!
She’s so eye opening!
Everything she says resonated with me,love her …..
What a beast! Can I be her friend? 😊☺🐱🤭 (not sure why my other comment was deleted..was just suggesting to check her Instagram too (video description) with so much wisdom, laughs and captions to die for...especially poignant for people who ever lived away from their country...).
I'm 50 ,well in a couple of months I'll be 51 and the last year has been amazing! On mother's day weekend I left an abusive relationship and got drug yu79
omg..she. is. awesome ! seriously can we be friends ? her sarcasm is so top knotch dude
What a cool lady
Omg 2 mins in and im already inspired x
WOW i laughed so much while watching, what an inspirational woman!🤸🏽♀️
I love how she added extra layers like the veil and the hat!
Thank you for showing me that I shouldn’t put off trying to love myself… as a single mother of two I put myself last all the time and I don’t want to do that anymore 💕
Thanks for this series. So powerful, very much appreciated. Lou, big hugs and warm wishes to you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Less than 30 seconds in and I already LOVE her!
Wow Lou you are amazing you said a bunch of Things which resonate with me. You rock
i love examples of older women embracing themselves at their age. i hope to be as beautiful and as vibrant as her when i’m that age.
Wow, Lou is just beautiful from her spirit for life, her openness, her style, her body looks strong, just a great package all together. Thanks for sharing and blessing to you and all in the days to come.
fabulous! cute moment about wanting to put back glasses but kudos for pushing thru! love the professional wanker part =]👌🏼
She is marvelous. Thank you
Wow, this is quite insightful and inspiring to watch. Anyone taking ownership of their experience on this planet is inspiring. It's really enlightening to see what one can extrapolate from their experiences. Power to all of those who take ownership of their time on this earth and live it to its fullest. Genders aside in this conversation this should be a concern for all individuals. Just let people be as they want and be able to express themselves in an honest manner, with understanding or empathy not judgement.. how many people are scared to express themselves is staggering. Forget judgemental how about fear of persecution. Some thing prohibit honest speaking of feelings or hidden desires. So its refreshing to see people talk about their true selves without regret or worry about being judged. Hope this is within the bounds of respectful conversation?
personally sitting on a stool is the single most uncomfortable feeling
This series is fucking awesome.
I absolutely love this episode ♥️ such an important topic and it’s really something we have to change. Age is just a number. Inspirational and beautiful lady 🙌👏 thank you for sharing this powerful story
I'm with the selfish woman in the orange hat 100 per cent !
I’m so glad I watched this !! Thank you !! ✨
Thank you for doing this. A lot of women are going through menopause early this year. Maybe it’s post-stress or post-repeated-pepper-spray in the neighborhoods. Either way, a lot more women from 35-45 are going through the change this year.
Vaccine related?
I need those glasses
The best "age" to be at is when you finally feel comfortable in your own skin and embrace it organically *and unapologetically* (for me, it was 26). You're not trying to be liked by anyone, you're trying to do right by your yourself. Letting yourself actually *be yourself* denies the world of how amazing a human you really are because sometimes the world needs a diamond in the ruff, but that doesn't mean the world is deserving of such individuals. You are wanted and needed, therefore stay on the earth. It's as selfish as it selfless.
I needed this, thank you.
Brave, Strong 💪, honest and beautiful.
Lou reminds me of Shirley McClaine!🙂
Thank you for being visible!
This video was amazing, truly well done and inspiring
You earned that money so you had every right to spend it however you pleased .
I don't know if you guys are going to read my comment but i would really really appreciate if you could put some spanish subtitles. I would love to show this to my mom, she will be 50 soon, have her menopause its starting and i know shes going trough a hard time and i feel this would totally changer her perspective. Big hugs!
GO GIRL!!I think you are AMAZING! Chrissy❤️
Misogyny is soooo alive and well . Yes women always adjust to reality . Yes we finally have a chance . Yes men never need to change. They can have children and never adjust their lives . Keep their big career and their body never changes