If Jesus Had Been A Typical Teenager. Brian Bates - Full Special

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  • čas přidán 8. 03. 2021
  • If Jesus had been a typical teenager, chances are we wouldn't want to read about him as much, or at least thats the vibe we get when Brian Bates describes a typical teenage Jesus in his first Dry Bar Comedy special. Whether you're a comedian that works full time as an Uber driver, or someone who would like to meet a teenage Jesus this full Dry Bar Comedy special from Brian Bates is sure to keep you entertained from start to finish.
    If you enjoyed this full Dry Bar Comedy special from Brian Bates, be sure to check out the links below for even more Dry Bar comedians you might enjoy!
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  • Komedie

Komentáře • 283

  • @PoliticalWonderland
    @PoliticalWonderland Před 3 lety +172

    Dry Bar is keeping me sane rn. God Bless you all & God Bless the world

  • @homerj.simpson7562
    @homerj.simpson7562 Před 3 lety +92

    13:50 I used to play a game with my niece and my nephew, called "Who can stay silent the longest". They LOVED playing it! After a while I would say something and pretend to be angry that I lost, only to demand a rematch.

    • @MrsABC7997
      @MrsABC7997 Před 3 lety +6

      Brilliant! 😉

    • @valej9387
      @valej9387 Před 2 lety +2

      I'm taking notes !!!

    • @paulinefinn7075
      @paulinefinn7075 Před 2 lety +5

      Whatever it takes ... desperate measures for desperate times- I have 11 grandchildren-currently 7 are under the age of 11...

    • @miscellaneousb
      @miscellaneousb Před 11 měsíci +1

      It's called The Quiet Game. My ADHD son was terrible at it. Lol. I would try anything when he would run his mouth all day sometimes. It usually went something like this:
      Me: Hey let's play the quiet game.
      Son: Yeah!
      Me: Ok, one two three, GO
      (5 seconds pass)
      Son: I lose! 😊

  • @sharonmarangwanda7463
    @sharonmarangwanda7463 Před 3 lety +128

    "We both thought we could do better" dead

  • @noneofyourbusiness302
    @noneofyourbusiness302 Před 3 lety +109

    This guy is seamlessly funny😁 I was hanging on his every word!

  • @spideydew20
    @spideydew20 Před 3 lety +57

    "Better make sure it's a full moon." I lost it.

    • @onearmedbandit9543
      @onearmedbandit9543 Před 3 lety +5

      I have met folks that clueless. Thank you, American Educational System.

  • @globetrekker86
    @globetrekker86 Před 3 lety +72

    * JC’s high school reunion *
    - “So, what have you been up to, dude?”
    - “Oh, let’s see... Turned some plain water into delicious wine, healed a few folks... You know, the usual”

  • @bbiggs4327
    @bbiggs4327 Před 3 lety +51

    As a runner and multiple marathoner from way back i really liked his runner jokes.!
    "We will time you.!"
    Sign me up.!

    • @freedonx
      @freedonx Před 3 lety +1

      indeed that got me too!

  • @globetrekker86
    @globetrekker86 Před 3 lety +33

    “Maybe he does the books”... Sounds like Jerry is St. Peter’s assistant

  • @daveyjones9930
    @daveyjones9930 Před 2 lety +7

    I went on a 2 year MORMON mission to Australia!
    The two best years of my life.....up to that point.
    Each 2 years AFTER my 2 year mission has been *exponentially BETTER!!*
    ANY year when people weren't cursing me/us out, sun up to sun down, HAD to be better!!

  • @thedigitalpeople
    @thedigitalpeople Před 2 lety +3

    Hello Folks, Bartholomew Bates is hilarious, Never knew about him until listening to the Nateland Podcast. They mess with him and call him Breakfast Bates, Sorry Bartholomew they tease you so bad. Real fans know how awesome you are.

  • @Loctorak
    @Loctorak Před 3 lety +62

    Brilliant! Not a religious person, but I grew up in a religious family so I still get all those references (not that they made up the whole set, but you get what I mean).
    Also not fussed on dirty vs clean jokes, but it has to be said that I respect a good joke all the more if it happens to be clean cause I just feel like thats harder to write, without leaning on easy material like sexual gags or swearing to pad it out.
    So two thumbs up, from me! Would gladly go to one of his shows if I lived even remotely close to America 😅

    • @MrsABC7997
      @MrsABC7997 Před 3 lety

      Agreed!

    • @vickiedavidson1230
      @vickiedavidson1230 Před 3 lety +4

      SootheOperator I agree. It takes intelligence!! To know what is real life and call it for what it is. I don't even live remotely close to America either, I live in South Carolina. HaHaHaHa😁

    • @summerd7668
      @summerd7668 Před 2 lety +2

      Yeah, it turns out Christians can be funny too. The mark of a good comic is being able to keep the audience engaged without foul content. It's hard to enjoy the joke when the material is nothing but raunchy material and foul language.

  • @lorenzovonmatterhorn7402
    @lorenzovonmatterhorn7402 Před 3 lety +153

    Im glad that Stuart from the Big bang theory found himself a new life.

  • @eddiepanda8564
    @eddiepanda8564 Před rokem +3

    Brian “Breakfast” Bates is the man ! Im not religious but love this dude

  • @RadostinVelchev
    @RadostinVelchev Před 3 lety +73

    He is that one Uber driver who will tell you that he performs on stage and he actually does :D

  • @commonsensecorner7275
    @commonsensecorner7275 Před 2 lety +6

    HILARIOUS!!! I know my neighbors heard me laughing… 🤣🤣🤣

  • @carlbaumeister3439
    @carlbaumeister3439 Před 3 lety +15

    He’s not only funny, he’s extremely likable.

  • @godislove9307
    @godislove9307 Před 3 lety +20

    Hey, Brian, your comedy is brilliant. All of it. I watch a lot of stand-up and you're one of the best I've seen! :)

  • @chrisb8127
    @chrisb8127 Před 3 lety +23

    Thats pretty cool. Im from Lebanon TN also. Ill have to check out more of this guys shows. John Mulaney said the worst shows of his life was in Murfeesboro TN just down the road and look where he is now.

    • @livethelawofone27
      @livethelawofone27 Před 2 lety

      @Angels Among Us Bristol TN here!

    • @edithdlp8045
      @edithdlp8045 Před 2 lety

      I am MILES away from Tennessee, I live in Los Angeles California.

  • @itoibo4208
    @itoibo4208 Před rokem +3

    The marathon joke was the best.

  • @jenniferwiley-wright4847

    Jesus “I don’t know, what year is it??
    Why did this joke have me cracking up all day. 😂😂😂

  • @traceym.637
    @traceym.637 Před 3 lety +14

    Omg the moon joke...his friend 😳 speechless.🙄😂

  • @MrsABC7997
    @MrsABC7997 Před 3 lety +15

    My grandparents had a hog farm in a hollar near Lebanon, TN! And the Mennonites helped on the farm! I still have family there!❤ This show was fantastic! 😂🤣😂🤣

  • @allisonmcleod2860
    @allisonmcleod2860 Před 2 lety +5

    Hilarious!!! I love his standup and his back and forth with Nate on The Nateland Podcast!

  • @ryotaarai3816
    @ryotaarai3816 Před 3 lety +43

    He might've been the one that roomed with the other comedian who had to sleep with earplugs and a tidy whities over his eyes coz his roommate had a cpap mAchine for his sleep apnea and likes his light on while he sleeps.

    • @MA-mh1vs
      @MA-mh1vs Před 3 lety +4

      Yeah, funny for a joke and all but unless your cpap is hooked up to oxygen they just sound like a fan.

    • @ohdiggy8038
      @ohdiggy8038 Před 3 lety +1

      Yes!

  • @nikbrownell
    @nikbrownell Před 3 lety +4

    I'm so glad you guys mentioned this on Nateland! It's Breakfast time!

  • @creativevirgo12
    @creativevirgo12 Před 3 lety +10

    Better be a FULL Moon! OMG that is just too funny!

    • @edithdlp8045
      @edithdlp8045 Před 2 lety +1

      It's sad but some people still believe that the moon is not always full. Omg!!!

    • @creativevirgo12
      @creativevirgo12 Před 2 lety

      @@edithdlp8045 😆

  • @kbean5338
    @kbean5338 Před 3 lety +22

    His ‘mormon’ joke had the audience roar with laughter. SO good. Can’t wait to see him again.

    • @somecrazyveteran
      @somecrazyveteran Před 3 lety +2

      That's because Mormonism is a joke lol

    • @kbean5338
      @kbean5338 Před 3 lety

      @@somecrazyveteran So is that beret you’re wearing. It’s so ‘woke’ isn’t it?

    • @somecrazyveteran
      @somecrazyveteran Před 3 lety +1

      @@kbean5338 It's not woke, it was a part of my Army Service Uniform, and I still have that beret, because I earned the title of United States Soldier. If you're mad that you never did anything with your life, don't get mad at me because I did.

    • @kbean5338
      @kbean5338 Před 3 lety

      @@somecrazyveteran And your beret is gay

    • @kbean5338
      @kbean5338 Před 3 lety +1

      @@somecrazyveteran Why did the Army change to a black beret? To be more inclusive. Woke.

  • @donwilliams2858
    @donwilliams2858 Před 5 měsíci

    Brian is so intelligent, open, easy to like, and incredibly funny. His stories are natural choices but at the same time completely unexpected, new. The stories about Jesus as a teenager (especially the "how old" segment), about timing children and adults, about the full moon -- they're all great!!!! With Brian I love the stories where he leads us to see things fresh and to laugh in ways we never anticipate.

  • @lisachapman8116
    @lisachapman8116 Před rokem +6

    These give me such a boost to my days!! I appreciate them so much!!

  • @nathaliekohlman3252
    @nathaliekohlman3252 Před 2 lety +3

    Really enjoyed his intelligence. And his self-deprecating humor. Not easy to do. Liked him as a person. Felt I knew him. Likeable.

  • @johnhenryjanning8927
    @johnhenryjanning8927 Před 3 lety +19

    Weird youtube recommended this when the whole reason I came to watch the undertaker throw mankind off of the cage

  • @iammikevaldes
    @iammikevaldes Před rokem +6

    Great job, Breakfast!! Loved this set. 🤘🏼

  • @kittyp1569
    @kittyp1569 Před 3 lety +10

    LOVE the jokes about timing little kids to do stuff - its TOTALLY true! As a mom & working PT in elementary schools for

  • @amelialeigh9290
    @amelialeigh9290 Před 3 lety +13

    Great pick me up.. side note he kinda looks like Gomer Pyle lol

    • @lisa4candlz
      @lisa4candlz Před 3 lety +1

      kinda sounds like him too 😆

    • @cUser691
      @cUser691 Před 3 lety +1

      @Amelia Leigh... your comment struck- agree- getting Gomer Pyle vibes- thx it brought back that tv series -goofiness and fun

  • @maryksnyder1155
    @maryksnyder1155 Před měsícem

    Jesus!! Too funny! 😂 Had to share with my husband!!

  • @lonniemead4258
    @lonniemead4258 Před 2 lety +4

    Very funny. Talented.

  • @melaniestarkey7868
    @melaniestarkey7868 Před 3 lety +21

    He was really good I'd like to see more of his

  • @jbyepitsme4330
    @jbyepitsme4330 Před 3 lety +7

    LOL!!🤣🤣🤣👍👏This guy is hilarious!! Look forward to more his stand up

  • @beckys5461
    @beckys5461 Před 3 lety +9

    Jesus: Here's a clue... what year is it?
    Uncle: 3775. What's that got to do with anything?

    • @willhaven8778
      @willhaven8778 Před 2 lety

      the year AD (after the death of Christ)? his calculation of this is wrong. Besides, Jewish calendar is older

    • @G35Jeff
      @G35Jeff Před 2 lety +2

      @@willhaven8778 Anno Domini (AD) means the year of our lord.

  • @justyoga5118
    @justyoga5118 Před 2 měsíci

    So glad I looked for this! Great set Brian!

  • @kimberlythompson678
    @kimberlythompson678 Před 3 lety +37

    I totally get the sleep apnea joke. I also have it and my family loves to tell me different sleeping positions. Like really....

  • @nodgelyobo1
    @nodgelyobo1 Před 2 lety +2

    Definitely a hierarchy in comedy like music where a lot of crap ones get to the top and the good ones stay in the middle...this guy is excellent...

  • @reacher8042
    @reacher8042 Před 3 lety +5

    This is golden

  • @ericlawrence9060
    @ericlawrence9060 Před 3 lety +2

    Wow... He is GREAT! Better make sure it's a full moon! Things i can do with my niece while resting.

  • @bob75ma
    @bob75ma Před rokem +2

    im not a Christian but i absolutely love this guy. very funny and super likable.

  • @randyhogan1603
    @randyhogan1603 Před 3 měsíci

    This guy is good
    I just saw a later special of his last night. Enjoyed it as well as this one

  • @rebekahambrose5839
    @rebekahambrose5839 Před rokem +1

    He's actually funny. Enjoyed that.

  • @concertinamadrigals4058
    @concertinamadrigals4058 Před 3 lety +21

    You don't have to believe in a god to find some Dry Bar Comedy funny.

    • @dracuella
      @dracuella Před 3 lety +9

      I'm kinda enjoying the fact that the jokes are cleaner and less swear-y. I mean, I don't mind swearing but it feels like a lot of comedians fall back to swearing, punching down, and trying to be as crass as possible when they can't come up with intelligent comedy. I far prefer this.

    • @Loctorak
      @Loctorak Před 3 lety +7

      @@dracuella totally agree. I've been a huge comedy fan basically my entire life. Heard the lamest jokes, heard the dirtiest jokes and everything in between. But I never laugh hardest than when I hear a clever, unexpected but totally clean joke.
      There's no doubt it's harder to get laughs without resorting to sex jokes, toilet humour or swearing. I have a huge respect for any comedian that can pull that off, and I would say this man definitely did. 😁

    • @dracuella
      @dracuella Před 3 lety

      @@Loctorak Yeah, I totally agree, pulling that off requires so much more than 'hurr durr something-something lewd'. It's probably why I have a particular fondness for a lot of British stand up artists, like Eddie Izzard who is by all rights an incredibly intelligent human being who does some of the most laughter-inducing standup, I've ever seen.

    • @concertinamadrigals4058
      @concertinamadrigals4058 Před 3 lety +1

      @@dracuella Comics are having to try harder to be funny, and it mostly works.

    • @pepinillorick5741
      @pepinillorick5741 Před 3 lety +3

      It does put a barrier on it tho, for example, i can't understand how he can't see that jesus comimg back from the grave is just as dumb as to think that wrestling is real.
      But in a way i get 2 jokes in one, but one is just sad tho.

  • @janicenowicki9044
    @janicenowicki9044 Před 3 lety +5

    I'm timing you...you made me laugh for 24:08 minutes (that's how long the video was :) ... No Sir...Thank...YOU ;)

  • @karro_thatisall
    @karro_thatisall Před 3 lety +2

    The full moon joke got me😂

  • @NYSignfield
    @NYSignfield Před 3 lety +2

    @brianbates I just found this from Nateland and loved your texting yourself joke. I just did this last week when I woke up at 2am and sent myself a question to find the answer to the next day. The next day in the middle of the day I looked at my phone and saw the text, not realizing it was from me texted back an answer then co-workers had to ask why I was laughing so hard.

  • @plentygood6
    @plentygood6 Před 3 lety

    The time and hair bits killed me!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @pylgrymkid
    @pylgrymkid Před 3 měsíci

    Loved this. Needed the laughs today.

  • @yellowswallowtail33
    @yellowswallowtail33 Před 3 lety +13

    Your hilarious! Clean, funny observations and funny. Period. 👏

  • @NothingButLol
    @NothingButLol Před 3 lety +11

    The wrestling shout hurt me but healed me at same time

  • @aalm7966
    @aalm7966 Před 3 lety +5

    Finally a good one it's been a while

  • @kvt41pq
    @kvt41pq Před 3 lety +3

    BRILLIANT!!!!

  • @zombierobotsheep
    @zombierobotsheep Před 3 lety +8

    Way to go, Brineshrimp!!

  • @edithdlp8045
    @edithdlp8045 Před 2 lety +1

    10:30 I need to make alarms to take my pills or I will forget. Sometimes I forget right after I took the pill.

  • @lauriepeters5936
    @lauriepeters5936 Před rokem +2

    He is really funny and likable!

  • @shakararolle836
    @shakararolle836 Před 2 lety +1

    I truly enjoyed that!!

  • @danielboachie
    @danielboachie Před 2 lety +1

    This crowd didn't appreciate that undertaker joke enough.

  • @theemarydee1610
    @theemarydee1610 Před 2 měsíci

    I’d only known him as a comedian on Nateland podcast. Omg. He is so funny

  • @saxon6
    @saxon6 Před 3 lety +1

    Brilliant Ending. BRAVO

  • @MPHswayze
    @MPHswayze Před 2 lety

    I'm about to settle in and watch this Bilbo! LET'S GOOOOOO!!!

  • @thebeardedman-drenaline5546

    Really enjoyed this🤣🤣

  • @TheElhombresombre
    @TheElhombresombre Před 2 lety

    Bippidibop Bates, you are awesome! First time seeing your stand up. Love your smart brand of humor.

  • @BestEvaGal
    @BestEvaGal Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you! For calling members of Jesus's Church who they are! 🤩

  • @zac3392
    @zac3392 Před 2 lety +2

    Breakfast Bob Ripplepants looking worried...

  • @barbaragreen4633
    @barbaragreen4633 Před 3 lety +2

    Full moon...
    HILARIOUS!

  • @dianedonohue9855
    @dianedonohue9855 Před 3 lety +2

    Great job!!

  • @Drigoon12
    @Drigoon12 Před 3 lety +6

    Are you talking about Aaron when it comes to wrestling? Anyway great special bran cake

  • @angelreyes6087
    @angelreyes6087 Před 3 lety +2

    was looking for a video to watch tonight from DRYBAR comedy...Jesus literally told me to watch this one with a big fat smile on his face lol, people dont know he has humor too,most who read this will think im nuts which is ok but to those that do understand n know im not playing, he told me to comment this for you individuals so yall can see hes in these kind of things too lol.

  • @dawleymatthew
    @dawleymatthew Před 2 lety +1

    Hello folks! Great set, Breakfast!

  • @ianbarber4542
    @ianbarber4542 Před 3 lety +8

    I was jogging behind this one girl, but I have many regrets.

  • @curtisbrownr09
    @curtisbrownr09 Před 3 lety +2

    That undertaker joke😂😂😂

  • @leesmith5419
    @leesmith5419 Před 3 lety +3

    You’re really a pretty funny comedian I really enjoyed the show

  • @KLMJRM2009
    @KLMJRM2009 Před rokem

    Love Mr. Bates and was brought here thanks to my favorite podcast, Nateland! ❤️❤️

    • @donwilliams2858
      @donwilliams2858 Před 5 měsíci

      Same here - I really wanted to see Brian doing stand-up, and he's amazing in all kinds of ways.

  • @USCxGAMECOCKS1801
    @USCxGAMECOCKS1801 Před 3 lety +2

    The nose whistle will never die.

  • @somecrazyveteran
    @somecrazyveteran Před 3 lety +1

    I’ve driven past the exact place in Lebanon, Tennessee that he’s talking about. It’s a huge area. Lebanon is a nice small Tennessee town.

  • @Sarahh185
    @Sarahh185 Před rokem

    I love this, I also time kids to encourage them to do stuff. LOL

  • @silvertrees6326
    @silvertrees6326 Před 3 lety +2

    😂 so funny!

  • @georgebourlos1430
    @georgebourlos1430 Před 3 lety +4

    thr girlfriend part ... 7'43'' hilarious

  • @cmoyo6359
    @cmoyo6359 Před 3 lety +1

    Very funny set

  • @danceswithtwins8048
    @danceswithtwins8048 Před 3 lety +2

    A good friend of mine who is Mormon told me she was just fine with continuing to be called “Mormon” - she is in her 80’s and says she doesn’t have time to say all that new stuff instead. Life is short - don’t waste it on the little stuff.

  • @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter
    @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter Před 3 lety +6

    THE UNDERTAKER

    • @Mazxlol
      @Mazxlol Před 3 lety +3

      I don’t think anyone in the crowd knew much about wrestlemania 😂

    • @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter
      @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter Před 3 lety +3

      @@Mazxlol yeah, lol, no one in that crowd seemed to understand that joke

    • @catherinepunchcousins1435
      @catherinepunchcousins1435 Před 3 lety +1

      I laughed way tooooo much at this joke!!!! Love the Undertaker 😃

  • @wsmith4020
    @wsmith4020 Před 3 lety +1

    Hello folks! Bald Eagle killing it!

  • @gouridange2783
    @gouridange2783 Před 2 lety

    The full moon sliver moon one is hilarious

  • @B4ckup
    @B4ckup Před 2 lety +1

    Let's Go, Breakfast!!

  • @42apostate
    @42apostate Před 2 lety +2

    I heard (I don't know how true it is) that Jesus' Senior H.S. Class voted him the "most likely
    to RETURN"!

  • @popastoppa838
    @popastoppa838 Před 4 měsíci

    Just met this man in person💯

  • @pattykilpatrick9425
    @pattykilpatrick9425 Před 3 lety +1

    He’s funny. My pastor last week just said that God probably has a great sense of humor. Looking at people saying wow look at Mark he has two different socks on hahaha. I’m sure he does laugh at us sometimes.

  • @BenMarti1000
    @BenMarti1000 Před 2 lety

    Gonna take Jerry a while to get up all those steps 😂

  • @JDRSBUMPERSTICKERS
    @JDRSBUMPERSTICKERS Před rokem

    🙏 brother!!

  • @ajcarr1965
    @ajcarr1965 Před 3 lety +1

    Good stuff. Only thing missing is music by Tim Hawkins.

  • @michaeldietrich6570
    @michaeldietrich6570 Před 2 lety +1

    Hello folks! Was that a nose whistle I heard around 10:19?!?

  • @educatethemax9714
    @educatethemax9714 Před 2 lety

    "Make sure it's a full moon!" BWA-HA-HA-HA

  • @velislavastaneva6825
    @velislavastaneva6825 Před 3 lety +2

    Hahhahaahah what if we time you 😂😂😂

  • @benitofranklyn4237
    @benitofranklyn4237 Před měsícem

    1:44 well the second one was televised nationwide

  • @deewestenberger6725
    @deewestenberger6725 Před 3 lety

    Oh I have to hear this, I am a minister, lol. Cute stuff...