Married But In Love With Someone Else?
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- čas přidán 8. 07. 2024
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In this video, relationship expert Coach Lee discusses what to do if you are married but are in love with someone else other than your spouse. Before you make a decision, consider what Coach Lee discusses in this powerful video for married people who are having an affair.
Videos Mentioned In This One:
-Coach Lee's video on Limerence at • What Is Limerence?
-How To Stop Your Divorce • How To Stop A Divorce
-How To Save Your Marriage • How To Save My Marriag...
If Coach Lee has helped you and you want to support his work, you can give him a tip at myexbackcoach.com/tip-jar/
See the accompanying article to this video at myexbackcoach.com/married-but... - Jak na to + styl
What if you were never in love with your spouse to begin with? Some people marry because of family pressure or convenience. And then someone else can come along and generate this amazing euphoria that they never experienced with their spouse.
sweethypsy276. I would never marry someone I was not in love with. You're hurting the BOTH of you. If there was family pressure, I would leave.
@@jannlewandowski5540in an ideal world...
Sometimes you get to a point in your life, generally at a mature age, where you just can't waste more time with a person/spouse whom you no longer love; who no longer loves you; and who has broken every vow. I appreciate what Coach Lee is conveying, truly, but it's difficult to measure love. Oftentimes, a rose is just a rose.
Exactly, sometimes it's better to move on especially if we dont have the feelings, connections with our spouse plus if we dont have similar hobbies, perspectives of life, business. Everyday is suffering in the marriage & we just have to stay married for our children until they're done with college. When you stay in unhappy marriage for a long time you lose yourself, your life purpose, the smiles & laughters on your face is gone. Our children dont want to see that. I wish I divorce 20 years ago but it's not that late. Our daughters are the ones encouraged me to divorce. They saw how unhappy I'm & how I sacrifice my life, career, etc for them. Now they're in college & old enough to know those stuffs. Their father is an ok man who's graduated Ivy league college & a decent man but not a idea husband nor an idea father, very hard to explain. ( we both are successful people & well educated people) but it's a torture for me to married to him.
@@jennydkwong my situation exactly, Jenny
@@waitwhat6882 I hope you well. I stayed in marriage because of both families pressures & traditions( they think its shame & loosing face if you have a divorce family) All our lives we listened to our parents & do what's best for the kids( but are really healthy & best?) Funny that after 22 years my parents admitted that they were wrong to make me stay in marriage & my kids want me to date/ remarried. My husband know I did my best but he's not the ones. I was always a good wife & he knows i can get someone much better than him in every ways & he admits that he doesn't to divorce cause he worried that i will married someone much better so he waited until I'm old.
@@waitwhat6882 do whatever makes you happy & what's best for you. Our parents dont know what best for us
@@jennydkwong Sorry Jenny, I just read your comments for the first time, eight months later ! I hear ya, sister. Wishing you all the best of everything.
Sometimes some marriages need to end especially when there is abuse mental, emotional and or physical If you find someone that treats you better than go for it.
I agree 💯 it's easy said & done
I agree ❤ I mean these pages think we should t be with someone else. I was abused when I was young. I never found real love until I hit 49.
This is why I avoid a lot of texting now, exactly what Coach Lee is talking about. I think a lot of people get hooked more on a texting a person than the actual person.
Agreed. That and all technology has hurt realtionships
One of your best Lee - this should be a public service announcement to all people thinking of straying from their marriage...
Limerence sucks! Even if you know you are in that state, is extremely difficult to overcome.
or how about when it wears off on one person first and then they dump you?
Yup, then it's devastating
Coach Lee you are the sweetest. I love your genuine and down to earth nature.
His wife is his soulmate . Today ,I saw them happy again ! I’m happy for him. How can you continue to love someone when he’s happily married even if he feels the same way for me I decided not to interfere in his happy marital situation .I’m on my journey to acceptance. I will always wish for his long lasting happy marriage . I will never ever go back to him because I know it’s not worth fighting for anymore . I will always pray for him that he will have the contentment of his own marriage . I’m hurt but I’m ok .
This video could save a lot of relationships... if the smitten spouse actually looked at it! The thing is when the new relationship stays, the old one is goooooone
Thank you Coach Lee. You are an inspiration and my motivator. I'm always listening to your vids everyday to pick up some lessons about love stuff. I hope, you could also make a vid about LDR bcause i'm into it.
Thanks for your advice. I needed to hear this . Thanks for this video.
Lee, your hair looks nice! Love the scoop!
This was informative. Everything you spoke of rang truth. I had never heard these terms but it made a lot of sense
An excellent message from Coach Lee. I have been there and I can say as far as my personal experience goes, everything that Coach Lee shared is spot on. Work on your marriage, the reward is far greater and lasting than a few months of limerence.
Limerence can last for years, 1-4 years according to anthropology.
This is not my dilemma but I like ur videos. Just watching for the heck of it
Well explained . On point .
Absolutely!!!!
My recent break up of 3 weeks. Left me for a guy who’s been married for 10 years and has a baby on the way. They think their “in love” and this video is the perfect example. He’s almost 30 and my ex just turned 24
Just reconnected to my first love and I encourage him to stay in his marriage.
Same, but I am not a big enough person to hope the best for both of them together. Good for you that you could
coach lee always bring that heat. can we get a video on dumpers remorse??? 🙏
You mean this? m.czcams.com/video/8qll1qPYhfg/video.html
Brilliant advice
What a great video thanks
I know when i got married at a young age, I thought I was in love got married and years down the road you start to wonder what's out there. I think someone shouldn't get married too young. I found love, real love at 49. Nothing wrong with wanting to see what's out there especially if your marriage is not good.
Thanks Coach !
Great movie!
Thank you 🙏🏼 God bless you
Will you be accepting phone consultations sometime soon coach? I bought the breakup kit but my case is a bit different. I've pretty much done no contact from June-Sept then only reaching out once in october then wishing him a happy birthday on the 10th. He hasn't reached out once.
I love my married person alot..not sure if they are in love with me too... but they have decided to be with their spouse. I wish them well and want them to be happy.
Thank you so much
Very interesting. So clever!👏👏👏
Thank you very very much Coach.
You're just simply the best 👍
God bless you ! 😘🤗
Such a tricky subject, what you say makes sense coach Lee… definitely had romance with husband early days, but it definitely gets affected with certain situations that break and damage that connection. Building the confidence to leave is the next battle.
Hi Clare, marriage crisis is what my workshop, Relationship Reignite is for. Book a free call with Johnny on my staff to talk about it at RelationshipReignite.com
Wooooooo this is DEEEEEEP. Thank you.
You have no idea...
@@javiooo6328 IKR
Ooo ikr???
How about if it was an old couple who met when they were younger that found their way back to each other and was living in an unhappy married relationship
kimberlypu it DOES happen. I've read many articles, and some stories even made the news on TV.
Some do get back together, some do not.
You're amazing
Then why don't people in a marriage just allow this Limerence romantic to happen , since it is so temporary, since eventually the partner who seeks love with the a new mate will come back.
I really think if married people show more inclusiveness, more understanding towards this out of marriage love affairs, people would live more happy and more relaxed.
I understand but I guess it’s the principles of marriage and being committed to each other. Idk
Thank you you just saved me
I like this guy!
What if it’s a person that you were in love with a long time ago? And those feelings are still there from years ago?
It happens to a lot of people, from what I've read. Even 30 years later..
idk this is so painful on every end.
Yes!!!!
Can limerence be prolonged beyond a couple of years if the couple is experiencing constant obstacles and drama stopping them from really looking at their relationship or if both people in the partnership have addictive personalities and have maybe even swapped a substance addiction for an addiction to the affair partner and are constantly craving a dopamine high?
It could. I'm speaking generalities.
your inteligent is like an angel speaking!
I been looking at a lot of videos on limerence it completely messed up how some people even abandon their children I never want to have limerence
Yeah, crazy what we will do when in love or limerance
Thank you so much . It help a lot . God bless you always.
Thanks
OMG! It's real. It happens. Guys--- Stick with your wife.
Been married since 2008. Been on the couch since 2014. No physical Intamacy in 7 years. Jun 2021 met a woman. Been with her 17 mos. My wife, who I call my roommate found out about us 8 mos ago. I still live in my home. I'm over my GF home, which I consider my home. Everyday.
My roommate wants a divorce, 1/3 of my retirement, the house(refuses to sell) & 1/2 of my IRA, NOT OURS MY IRA. Currently my GF 26 yr old daughter & 7&11 year grandsons live with her. So for now I can't move in with her. I know I need to get a place of my own but finances will not allow me. I know I'm in a jam. But my roommate & I are over. With or w/o a GF.
Get a good lawyer to find out what she can force out of you, and what she cant touch and how to handle shared property under the local laws, also i.m.o. your gf would move mountains to let you join her family unit if she REALLY wanted to be with you!!!
I am involved with a married woman & i am single, i never ever planned for it to ever happen but it did, her husband physically & emotionally abuses her, he cheats on her but she can't be together because she won't leave, i love her very much and her daughter she has tried to let me go, i have tried to let her but we always find our way back to each other, i know nothing can happen and it probably will never happens, shes not ready and she may never be ready but i can't wait but i don't want to let go she is everything i have ever wanted god it hurts so bad 😥💔
Well shit. My situation is way crazy. We are both married. I am happy with my spouse but after years the spark has been gone for a long while. The married man I am being flirtatious and was exciting. No sexual activity but I found out that he is in a polyamorous relationship. It's weird to me and I basically said I dont accept that in my life. He got pissed and blocked me. I miss him. Its ridiculous but he added so much to help me with my own marriage.
Hello Coach Lee and thank you for the videos. I have a question. Are people that come from divorced families (parents divorced when they were children) more susceptible to limerence when they're adults?
Interesting question. I don’t know the answer for sure, but I would say possibly.
It is so sad when the lemarence fade
Because u will be like u ,have just waken up in a sweet dreams
out of a sweet dream back into harsh reality.
It is informative to me, but sadly I will not be able to show my wife as she is so overcome with limerance she will not listen. She's met her soul mate (again) after all!
What if you had attraction towards someone else (dose dependant) and you know this person very well now for over a decade (never acted on it)? Is that still limerance or love?
annazhucova, I honestly believe that is being in love.
How can I contact you ?
i need help im in love with 2 people at the same time and it really sucks..i have not cheated my partner is aware of them and i have told her that i do love them but i dont wanna cheat on her with the other person they r both aware of each other. But i still feel very bad because i still love the person im with but im hurting and the other person is hurting as well. I want to see the other person but not behind her back :( this hurts so fucking much please help me i been crying so much because of guilt and not knowing what to do. I dont want to hurt her :( i know how it feels to be left for someone else i know how it feels to be cheated on shit hurts so much i cant take it.. Whatever u do dont cheat and be honest with both of them
kill3rcl, I recommend you book a Coaching session with Coach Lee or one of his staff
wish I could fully addresses your specific details, it may be beneficial to seek a more professional approach. I highly recommend booking a coaching session with Coach Lee or one of his staff coaches. They will be able to provide the necessary expertise and devote time to address your unique situation. You can schedule a session by visiting this link: myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/. This way, you'll receive personalized guidance.
I keep telling myself again n again that this s limerence not true love etc. But when it will fade away? It has been five years now n i cant get the person out of my mind. Thghts r constantly coming in. No matter how much i try to push it away. Is this really limerence?
Im married and she's married but we fell in love .the relationship is very toxic and we produced a baby..i love her and cant seem to get her out of my system.. we've been having this affair for 9yrs and 7 of these years have been HELL but we're still at it..i dont know what to do
In love with someone else and she left me?😭😭😭
Damn did I mess up by begging my spouse to come back for 3 weeks, she told me she was in love with him I told her it’s not true love she told me you know me I fall in love fast. I confronted the guy and he told me come see me so I can murder you and shove my c**k up your a$$h*ole. I told her he told me that and she said she doesn’t believe me, she said he would never say something like that. He has 2 assault charges, 2 DUI’s, he’s love bombing her. Help me out here did I mess up by begging like crazy for 2 weeks or if I just let it go now she will slowly open her eyes? I don’t even know if we will ever be the same again anyway. She’s never had a job, she has a 5 year old son and a dog at her parents house she’s telling me she’s getting a 2 bedroom apartment but doesn’t have a job or money for furniture so I think this guy is promising her those things.
He broke the family apart and I don’t even think he wants to be with her long term, he’s evil and she’s stupid and gullible.
jaydenlowe4716, I highly suggest you book a Coaching session with Coach Lee or one of his staff coaches
wish I could fully addresses your specific details, it may be beneficial to seek a more professional approach. I highly recommend booking a coaching session with Coach Lee or one of his staff coaches. They will be able to provide the necessary expertise and devote time to address your unique situation. You can schedule a session by visiting this link: myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/. This way, you'll receive personalized guidance.
So in this guys mind love doesn't exist outside of marriage. So I suppose every single divorce is unwarranted and worth saving. You are wrong, I have seen 2nd marriages last 40 plus years. can some marriages be saved? Sure. But to blanket all marriages like we live under a church rule is ridiculous.
Knowing the difference between love and limerance could mean the difference between saving a marriage and destroying one
Number of years does not mean happy years.
@@JD-dv9kc we all have limerance in the beginning of a relationship single or married
it's 15 years...not few months!
Coach Lee is way tooo much on the "married" thing in this video.... There are so many people that ruined their whole life keeping being married to the wrong person.... A very "one side view" on this topic
Frank, I knew young couples who married for money, spite (their ex), and pregnancy.
Yeh it’s kinda putting a very negative spin on genuinely falling for someone…. I’ve fallen for someone and 9 months on still feel that it’s genuine love.
I was (am) in love with someone who was a mess and I was ready to start a family. He absolutely was not ready AT ALL. I met someone and became friends and got married. I never got over the other person. My marriage ended and I started spending time with my love again but he is still a mess. He broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago and I am doing everything I can to get over him. Life...
Coach lee I just wanna say what should I do to someone who is ignoring me and is fading away? I go to a small high school so I see her every day many times. She seems very angry at me and gives me a death stare, but it wasn’t a toxic relationship at all she just changed over night.
Leave her alone dont be arround her.She still angry
Be snart about where to go and be and avoid eye contact. In case it happness be positive glad and smile. Yesterday i came to work and i know my ex does not work tday but she were their. I just kept my coolness and said to my self to avoid eye contact and be smart about where to be. Gess what that didnt work bc she happned to be in my face and couldnt avoid it. I was normal positiv and smiled. She reacht out and gave me good compliments that day later. And im sure she is ready to talk again.
@@erosvera9945 so you'll be a little simp and take her back? If you don't have kids with her, move on, grateful gus.
my ex is very immature and young and family and friends have affected her. right now i see how unhappy she is and how much weight she has lost and all her attempts to talk to me. apart from ggs. Its strength to forgive.
@@erosvera9945 forgive what. Be honest.
I suck at relationships , but at what point is a cheater going to be called a cheater ..how did this happen unless open to having other people in life from the start..
@@gracep3416 Wot? Why? He'll naw.
What about 6 years and seeing repealing numbers and shit? I just want it to go away so I can be happy in my marriage again.
Like angel numbers? What other things are you seeing?
I have a husband but his cheating on me with another girl what do I do?
I pray the universe grant your heart desires, Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of a great spiritualist Who brought my ex after many months of separation,,,
Leave because that's not love. Why would you waste your time there? This is such a ridiculous question. It should be common sense, but to each their own.
@@Confessions089 it usually because they r in shock and they want to try and fix things with them..
In some parts of Africa, polygamy is allowed, but i still don't think am able to accept the fact that i can be a second wife, that's if he ever thinks of that idea, because there's a chance that he most probably will get a 3rd wife in the future, and i can't stand the thought of not being loved by my husband in the marriage
POLYGAMY in only allowed for the men's pleasures . Women don't have to accept this anymore in these days and age.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Something is wrong with the video I can’t see it til the end😫😫
What is it doing?
The video was buffering constantly but it’s ok now.... Thanks coach Lee I watch your videos daily 🤫
Hahaha,u make me laugh coach all the time.when u say"u think that being with that person everyday will be a holiday"
👍👍👍
Unrealistic.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
😥😥😥😥😥
will my husband regret leaving me for another woman
I don’t have enough information to give you much of an answer in this comment, but I can tell you without a doubt that a lot of people have gotten help from my free mini course on saving a marriage that you can get at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
sorry didn't mean to send thanks
This coach is too cute.