Never Chase Him. Do This Instead (5 Ways He'll Invest In YOU!)
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
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There is such a misconception when it comes to women who make effort towards a man as if it is chasing him and there's one common reason why this happens... it's because women often give their power away to men more so than the other way around.
Giving one's power away is a recipe for disaster and it's one of the common reasons why many relationships end.
In today's video, we will explore the DEEPER causes of when a woman chases a man and what to do instead which includes 5 ways he'll invest in you.
Let's talk about... Never Chase Him. Do This Instead (5 Ways He'll Invest In YOU!)
I wish that beautiful women would stop throwing themselves to undeserving men that can’t acknowledge their worth. Here’s the thing ladies, it is all in you already. Don’t look for validation where it is not meant to be found. Look inside. It is already there. Once you know this secret, the only men left are the ones who have it in themselves to see you!!
Couldn’t have said it better. You must view yourself as how you’d want to be viewed so that others see you that way.
@@mad5467 ...but you did
Beautiful
What about women that aren't beautiful?
@@dm8553 every woman can find what is beautiful about herself ~ and own it ❤️
We’ve all seen a beautiful woman that doesn’t see herself that way-it’s all based on how someone sees themselves ❤️
My Mother told us
growing -up.
“Let them chase YOU
until You Catch them”.
Rest In Peace mom🤗
Right on! My Mother once said “If someone wants to be with you, they will jump through hoops to be with you”.
1.Chemistry
2.Shared Values
3. Compatibility
4. Emotional Skills
5. Hoffman Process
6. Winging It
7.Reject Good
8. Showing Playful Flirty
9Invest
10.Level Independence
11. Suckling in Nipple of Self Love
12Hunting
13.Soverignty ,Independence/Neediness
14 Sincere from the heart can never say the wrong thing to right person
15. Vomiting Vulnerability
14. Vulnerability
“If it’s sincere and from the heart, you can never say the wrong thing to the right person.” Love it
💯👏👏👏
That's what I want in a relationship.two way street
Yes I love this best thing I've heard in awhile
They didn’t meet our African man😂😂
This is so true ✔
I learned at age 14 to never chase a guy. If they want to be with you, they will!
If someone chases us, our first instinct is to run away from that person. Same goes in a relationship. Women stop chasing him, allow him to be a man, let him take the lead.
Absolutely!
Absolutely
That's what I was missing thanks for posting
never chase a man…true love doesn't need any effort it will come effortless…but if you're looking for LUST and not love then you will chase forever till you realize that it's LUST not love
When you stop looking Love appears
True love definitely needs effort!!! Everything you do in life that matters takes effort. That's one reason relationships end, everything the couple did to attract & "catch" that person they end up slowly stopping altogether. Almost as if well I have you now so I dont need to do anything to keep you!
It all lives in the interpretation of the listener. Sometimes being the first to contact may be interpreted by some as being chased. Being flirty just invites come-ons and men think you’re looking for action.
I used to believe in what you are saying in this video. I had a next door neighbor who I enjoyed talking with over the fence. He was friendly and shared about his wife’s illness. I greatly admired this man for his love and commitment to his wife. After she passed away I ran into him at a chorus show at a local church. Apparently I misinterpreted his friendliness as interest. I showed interest. I invited him to go to the beach. He politely declined the offer. I came by to check on him to see how he was doing after his wife died. When after showing interest in him and no reciprocation, I stopped showing interest. A year later he got married. I was totally heart broken. So, no, I don’t ever give more than I get. I was friends with a guy for 24 years and after making all the effort of initiating all the activities 90% of the time, taking my car 100% of the time, I finally decided he was no longer a good friend. Now that I have moved out of state I want no memory of people who treat me like chopped liver. I’ve done all my work in creating effort all my life. I am retired now. I have also retired from playing their games, competition, narcissism, self centeredness and gas lighting. I’m sorry to say but I have done everything and have tried to be the best I could be. Apparently there aren’t enough compatible Christian men to choose from. If it’s not meant to be I can’t make it happen. I’m not saying life is over, I’m just saying it REALLY IS OKAY TO NOT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
And what’s this about guys in their 20’s looking for a wife? I have never seen such a breed in my 20’s. Most guys that age are either busy fooling around, having fun, partying, or finishing school. Just look at the statistics and you won’t find a huge percentage of 20-30- year old guys looking for a wife. In fact in this world guys won’t even date a woman unless she “puts out”. As soon as they hear I’m a Christian and believe in a God approved relationship of marriage before engaging in sexual intimacy, they just move on. I’ve been to Christian singles groups and those men just go there to have company and are not interested in dating. I was going to these places I thought I would meet compatible Christian singles and there were too many men who were immature, living with their parents till they were 50, or don’t have decent jobs to even support themselves. After decades of trying to find compatible men in every possible way I have given up.
Now I just enjoy being around people, doing activities I enjoy, and enjoying PEOPLE. People…with no expectation. I’m much happier living life without the chronic expectations and disappointment roller coaster. I’m done with that life and when I don’t think about it, I’m much happier.
Amen Sister. You spoke with sincerity and from your heart. You seemed to say what most women hold close to their chest. There are many who continue to give their personal power away as this author has so eloquently shared. Yes, you made the right choices for yourself. Please keep expressing your new found state of beingness with those that seek you out. As this author has indeed represented the vulnerable side of most people who are stepping outside the box. Many women still need the guidance his book offers. His book does assist in the ability to propel themselves into the next stage of their personal growth. Perhaps guiding them towards a state of enlightenment. You gave a wonderful scenario of how to reclaim ones own personal power. The knowledge shared by this author's life experiences. He has readily grasped the application of his research work. Using it to help those who to obtain their upward goals with a deeper understanding. Both you and he have applied lessons learned for your own personal growth. By coming forth with motivational thoughtfulness that help guide those onto their path of obtaining new plateaus of self-fulfillment.
AMEN...to the 10th POWER, ESPECIALLY THE FIRST COUPLE OF LINES concerning the flirting Factor.... As a single Christian in this day and time, I've come to learn that dating is for the purpose of gathering data for the end result of marriage.... and at 55 I don't have time for the BULL, yes I will express my interest, but it will be done decently and in order.....
Really enjoyed reading your story! You make an excellent point! And I agree, just spending time with people without the expectation and effort can bring more happiness.
I must have lived and felt everything you just wrote. All factors considered (of what must happen to make a successful relationship at mid-life) I think the chances of it are maybe like getting struck by lightning. 13 years alone and I have yet to experience anything even close to a decent relationship. I don't want to completely shut out the idea, but it seems so fuzzy. So ambiguous. So far away.
I felt the things you wrote and I’m in my early 40s. Yes ,from my experience men in my area excepts you to put out if you want relationship them . I’m trying to be Christian and live a pure life .Yes , even me being religious men still judge me by my physical appearance, even when I don’t ask .😮and no, I was not dating or interest in them !
"Emotional Maturity" is sooooo hard to find. Unfortunately, most men don't dive into (and work on) their childhood traumas or adult traumas for that matter.
Most men don’t tap into healing them selfs at all
They are hurt from there last relationship
Or childhood traumas or adult traumas The way to move on for them find another woman
Without the inner work
So this creates emotional un availability
And then here we are left with this
Mind games frustrated to understand
What’s happening most of the time
It’s not even us women the problem
Really it’s his baggage he carried on
Men up and work on yourself
Not fair to put it on us women
@@EllyG201 You got that right! Were left, with the left overs! Next time I go on a date, I just want to ask them "Have you worked on all your childhood and adult tramas" ? "Are you an emotionally healthy adult man" ? It would save soooo much time! 😊
@@EllyG201 the truth is it goes both ways. There are a lot of women out there, who because of their past traumas refuse to change, and blame it all on men.
@@EllyG201 o
j
I understand when people don't want to have relationships. Everything has become so complicated.
Ppplpplp
Great
Good explanation. Thanks.
Yes, it feels like I have to go to college to learn how to get a good man.
@@vickyferreira3259 Appears impossible.
Relationships are very different when you are 60 years and over. Mental illness can also put an interesting slant on everything. Really appreciate your comments. Very helpful 😊 I keep my heart open for a companion that is best for me. Not perfect but willing to love with his heart and not his brain so much. 😍
Been there as well. His unresolved childhood trauma and mental illness.
That can be bad too in some cases Cathy Ann Hill
There’s dating apps for this. My g maw met her man at the community center she was almost 90 it was too cute
After 60 is tough. So many people in debt, looking for someone to save them.
Beware of HOBOsexuals out there!
No one falls in love faster, than a Narcissist without a place to live!
yes, i can definitely sign this . i talked with him before i watched this video (my fault) and said him something about chasing . we had a huge argument... luckily we relieve our stress thx to herbal drops spanish fly so after that we were calm
yeah i’ve tried herbal drops spanish fly pro too, my guy has been saying something i’m bad in bed but he stopped saying that after taking these natural drops
he's chasing me , but interested in a million others
Hallelujah. Relationship is a 2 WAY STREET. NO CHASING. NO SIMPING!✋🤚
I’m 48 and haven’t been in the dating world for about 20 years. Things are so much different these days and this video has really great information. I also liked that you recommended books. Being flirty! Great!
Thank you for clearing up the chasing vs investing.
Keep sending out that good information. Love it and not as confused
I'm 48 and in the same boat as u. It was sooooo much easier dating and getting the relationship u wanted 28 years ago!! Dating now at our age, really sux, to put it bluntly! So, frustrating!
Some guys don't even want to ask us ladies out or make any kind of effort.
They want to be chased instead smh.
Where are all the " real men"??🤔
Yes most do act like that or want you to jump with 10 minutes notice. I have an issue when they say be spontaneous that means be at their beck and call
This guy is wrong on so many levels. He's projecting his own dating failures onto his audience. He's lazy, he wants women to pay for and heal his insecurities that other women didn't do or fulfill. Never, Ever and NEVER ask a man out! If you chase, you are playing the hunter. And that's masculine. Men will use you up and spit you out when they're tired of you. Like he said "...if you give it, we'll take it." Asking them out, calling or texting men first, doing anything BEFORE he initiated it, is chasing and pursuing. The reason many women are subscribed to these channels because women have reconditioned and groomed men to become and act feminine. Role reversal is never good for traditional values. Making an effort is responding to his calls and texts. And showing up to dates. Don't call any man after a date. No exceptions. If they like your company, they'll want to see you again. Unattractive, low value and esteem women will chase. Pretty, attractive and highly sought after women do not need to nor should we chase men.
@@carmeltonedbarbie1747 I couldn't have said it better!!!
@@springfauna1465 Thanks Doll! His advice is to give men more leverage and emotional control.
@@carmeltonedbarbie1747 I watcged a vid on CZcams abt to to make a man obsessed n missed u,it said that send him for abt 4 days good morning/gn n those stuff she said it, Then do not do this thing for two days without any message here. He will feel that something is missing in his day, and then reply to him the day after he sent a msg"80% he will send n if he didn't, don't send him anything". Before that, put your best picture on social media and show that you are happy, etc ... here it will relate to you
B one thing I didn't get abt this myth that I always hear that men are hunters n they really are! So if I send them like gm/gn n with a beautiful motivation text then what if he felt taht I felt smt for him OR I'm chasing him
N yes we're in the same page what did Jonathan said actually I think he might be wrong
You’re amazing, Jonathan! This is everything to where I am at the moment: one man who had a great childhood and is solid as a rock, but a bit boring after dating for a year. Another who has unresolved childhood drama-we can’t “quit” each other but have tried numerous times. I think your assessment of emotions immaturity is spot on. At my age, I can’t take on another person who is a work in progress. I was married to one for 24 years!
Thank you for your wonderful advice! And clearing up that it's a two-way street on a relationship. I am in my mid-50s. My husband passed away in 2012. And I am raising our son alone. He is 15 years old with high-functioning autism. He keeps telling me he would like to have a dad. I tell him okay, I will work on it! LOL!
One of the greatest films ever made "The Quiet Man". Depicted how men feel instant attraction and women grow in attraction over time. Very traditional masculine and feminine roles however...they had to meet each other halfway. And both parties displayed masculine/feminine traits. Very real relationship from my perspective. They both had to step up and mature together as true partners.
I love the part about “if you’re walled up and entitled”. That hit home. I was afraid to flirt for the longest time ever because I was afraid that men would label me as “easy” and won’t take me seriously... thank you for that :)
"working relationship is the path to PARTNERSHIP" ~✓✓✓💝
I’m easy and I’ve been engaged three times. Guys don’t have a problem with easy women if they’re into the sex and they fall in love.
So happy I found your site at a critical pivital time in my life as starting to date after waiting after lost my husband. What you teach should be taught every where even in churches. Most of us have been clueless. Ps Im buying all your books.n listening to you. So very grateful. Thank you for giving your heartfelt messages to help us.🌸
Right, never give your power away! Learned that hard lesson uhg
I love it how your knowledge can liberate me and change me and not limit me
So grateful to have found your channel!
Already applied things I learned
It helped me recognize the narcissistic traits in the guy I was talking to.
Forever grateful 💙💙💙
So so healthy and helpful!! All the dating “advice” out there says for women to really get into their feminine and while I feel like I try to do that more often than not, I feel like there’s SO much more that goes into it than just letting the guy take the lead. Also, I feel like that narrative leaves a lot of room for women to feel unloved or unwanted when the guy doesn’t just go all in on you and control the direction of the relationship. Thank you for changing this narrative and for showing us that there’s way more to it to build a strong and healthy connection/partnership
Dating is a vetting process for a relationship; a relationship is a vetting process for a partnership.
Exactly 💯
I love that you get right to the point.
I'm a natural flirt. . broken hearted and all that goes with it. People who shut down miss blessings and opportunities. It is sad.
OMG I love you, you’re really helping me!! I am a bit tired of hearing and feeling like I ALWAYS need to be in my feminine…I can’t because I’m a balanced human being and so is he! But that concept was really starting to confuse me and I love how you squash that misconception. So many other important things to consider than just that. Thank you 💜
TY 🙏
You have the exact same vision of a relationship as I do! I love how crystal clear you are!
I haven’t tuned into you for a while, but I gotta say, this video today is really good.
WOW that was such an EXCELLENT video!!!!! I must say out of all the JUNKS of ppl who do *relationships* advice on here you have touched on many points!
Super!!!
I just want to wake up, open my door and find my king right there waiting for me. I pray it becomes this easy for me. OH God please help me.
@@ImranKhan-tj3dr that's nice
I’m so relieved to hear this!!! I feel so liberated now 💕🥰.
Thank you so much, Jonathon Aslay. You are helping me a lot! I really appreciate for your sharing.
I just found you here on youtube, and I have to say I love your playfulness ;-) And as a former library assistant, I also like that you are promoting books. Looking forward to see more videos from you!
This is the most detailed...and truest Information. This is the real deal. From what we see...in other videos. They don't speak... clearly. What's going on in relationships.
"pass good guys up"...reading "mating in captivity"...and it is a huge eye opener. Feels like to get the "good guy" that is "good relationship material" might not be able to have a good sex life. And that is also needed...for most of us. So much learning we all have to do on all sides
"Stay in the feminine, I'm here to say aaargh ". Love this. I am happily single and have zero relationship issues or any kind of worries about men but I watch your videos strictly for the entertainment value. Thank you for making me splurt my tea out more than once.
Lol ☺
Me too, Connie! 😬😉Enjoy! ❤️
Brilliant video! I just love the way you explain things, clearly and with passion 🙏💗😊
Thank you so much!
I loved this example with the effort! You make effort and stop and test! Don't continue making effort! Fabulous!
Very clear and straight to the point,thanks alot.
I have the worst time being vulnerable. I’m scared to death of losing the guy. However I realized if I lose him, he wasn’t meant for me in the first place.
Shacking up is not commitment. It's cheap , lazy, and fear based
I really hope one day I find someone like you , I really appreciate all your hard work ❤️
I do tooooo!! I’m in south Florida, hopefully we don’t run into the same “unicorn”! Lol! 😉
So true & Great explanation!
Thank you 🙏
Hey JA 🤓 stay Strong and Blessed and keep Smiling ❤️
Great video, working on being emotionally intelligent to connect to emotionally high value people. So many lessons, but ‘flirty and playful’ skill set a major homework, have 🤩 fun learning from this wonderful energetic video.
I completely agree of wounds! So, many men (and women) are so emotionally broken.
Amen to that Marije
All of this resonates. I made notes to read all the books you recommended.
Jonathon,
You make some really really good pts here. Specifically the "winging it" many do that, I know I have most of my life. Most people do, so true! Enjoyed our call today, thanks for the time.
Right on
Another brilliant video Jonathon with so much rich content. I found it all very useful indeed and I will actively apply your advice to the dating game. I have ordered your book too!? Can’t wait to read it. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Not being fun and flirty - I call them “fun suckers “ ........... but it truly does start, with self love. Thanks for sharing.
Intense but real. I still listen to you because you are just amazing. Thank you so much for this. I’ve grew up so much with your videos/ thanks
This is good stuff! VERY helpful. Thank you so much!!!!! Nice book recommendations, too. Bless you!!!!
You're amazing!...I'm at a point in my life where I'm literally starting over. I love your show. Love your quirkiness lol....This will definitely help me choose a compatible partner! Thank you💗
I’m a new subscriber, WOW....super great video!!! You cannot love others if you haven’t matured or learned to love yourself first!!! Whether you’re a guy or a girl don’t get into a relationship if you don’t know what a relationship consists of, you are just hurting the other person and wasting the time of a person who is looking for a serious loving relationship.
We need more videos like this thank you Jon!!!😊👍
I ordered your book from Amazon, Can't waite to read it 😊
I’m about to purchase your Self Love book! You rock!
Thank you, eye opening lesson
Emotional maturity! 100% true super super important!
I guess some men or maybe lots are emotionally immature & haven't healed their adult traumas & child hood wounds like someone I dated last yr
@9:40 ... 🔥 makes perfect sense. Thanks for being so clear. Gonna see if he catches up.
Awww thankyou sooo much for this video, Johnathon. Everything you're saying is totally sinking in. You're really spitting all the truth. I needed to hear alllll this.
Glad it was helpful!
I love your advise. Because I'm a type of woman who dosent sit back and I'm crystal clear about what I want ✌️😊
Awesome video! You are so funny sometimes and so deep! The man I am dating loves my vulnerability. I have no struggles sharing that part of me with him... and I feel playful around him too.. but I am open to more suggestions from Jonathon's world what flirty looks like. Thanks for all your work! 💕👌😊
Thanks...
IM LOVING U DO MUCH RIGHT NOW!! THANK YOU!
WOW! Thank you...
I’m very glad you give information on what a healthy relationship needs would look like & give examples of foundation etc… I’ve never seen or experienced healthy functional relationships, so I really need baby steps… Thank you 😊
you are perfect, Jonathon! 😃
Moderate nurturing and reciprocal energy from the feminine with masculine containment rather than ownership or control is what I consider a classic connection going from first stages to end goal. This is how I define the romantic dynamic. I like the way you defined the stages of commitment.
I sincerely & genuinely appreciate your videos. You have helped me soooo much. God Bless from Oz Down Under. You are truly awesome thank you
Great advice 100 real
Plus you crack me up 😆
Thanks for the book suggestions
Oh I'm all that and more! Yes! You can be 62 and still have a crush. Have fallen head over heels for my neighbor 'boy next door?' He's been my neighbor for 14 years, (so I knew him pretty well-before I started to really like him) He's 70- very shy and bashful hasn't had a woman in his life for 30 years. We now have dinner every so often, walk our dogs together, starting to ride our bikes together-I so enjoy his company-Lots of laughter and a good times...And moving slooow...I would like things to pick up speed, but he is slow and steady as they come and this is all so new to me.
Hello I can recommend you to someone that helped me get my ex back recently without stress and delay
Text on WhatsApp
+2,:34:,8,15:6:8:9:6:4.3.6
I tried the #'s it said it was barred
This one is in my Top 3 Jonathon from the ❤! Your parental side is surfacing in this one, which we need. TY JA!!
Awe... thanks 😊
Just found this channel.. love this...subscribed & notifications on
I really dig this video!! I just caught myself in a few things he said and I need to lighten up. 😂
Hey Jonathon! You look bright and very lively in that sea blue shirt! 😊 Thanks alot for this intuitive video! 🙌👍🙏
Glad you like it!
I'm new to your channel!☺ I've been binge watching all day..you are funny and keep it real! I look forward to watching more videos from you
WOW, thank you 😊
OMG!! JONATHAN this is so true what you're saying, love your work..xxx
Love your videos. I listen to them while I workout.
Glad you like them!
Omg I just found u and u are hilarious as well as informative!
I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't like your videos! 👍You do a wonderful presentation and love all your book recommendations. This one seems to have gotten cut off at the end though, mid sentence.
Yes. It's a beautiful presentation
Heck yes. It resonates. Thanks John.
Interesting video and something to think about. Thanks again for this Jonathon
What you call "walls" is what we do to observe your personality for a minute. You cant just trust blindly.
So true
How about a man who says a real man doesn't do housework? I think he shouldn't even be given a chance hahaha
Resonating. Very good information
This is helpful! Things I never heard before
Winging it. The catchphrase of a whole generation
Really nice! Love that shirt on you
I agree with everything you said..sadly, you spoke a lot to me about myself. I now understand why he pulled away after 4months..thank you for this.
I love you and your content, thank you.
Shout out from Nigeria.
Vomiting Vulnerability. Hahahaha. Great video. I appreciate you explaining a man’s perspective on dating. 🕺🏽
I can relate to this definitely change my behaviour. This is amazing guidance
Honest authentic self love.... Vulnerability in healthy measure.
I speak with kindness and awareness of my self. I know I'm not perfect but as God says we are all perfect, so maybe I humbly admit to that almost perfect...I still have work to do on me...gee I really really loved this guy and it screwed up... communication breakdown....and it still hurts.
Sorry to hear that
I learned a lot from you, Sir. Thank you so much. New Subscriber here. 😊👍
I just ordered your book. I resonate with your video.
It's been 5 days since I texted him. He respond to my text. So 5 days he doesnt reach out. I dont wanna always make the first move.
I'm guilty of chasing. I absolutely hate myself for that.
Do not hate yourself... sending hugs 🤗
@@JonathonAslay Thank you so much Jonathon, virtual hugs accepted!! ❤️
If I am attracted chemistry I have chased.....when I was young they never resisted
Now I am fading looks so they running.....I always have guys around but we are friends....I have no female friends just male.
I'm in tears...he's is and breaking my heart.
This is very helpful thank you 🙏