Walking away from marriage, children, and other stuff we're supposed to have
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- čas přidán 10. 06. 2024
- When society believes something is good, does it necessarily mean it’s true? Is it wrong to live life differently? And what is life like when we go against the grain? Let’s explore life without marriage, children, and other stuff we’re supposed to have, the nature of social norms, and some existentialism.
Video: Walking away from marriage, children, and other stuff we're supposed to have
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#loner #childfree #nonconformist
00:00 - Intro
02:22 - “You’ll end up alone and miserable.”
09:13 - We're supposed to do... what?
12:16 - The alternative path
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Marriage isn't for everyone. Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve problems together they would never have had, had they remained single. Being single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms. A single life, not married with no children, has the ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, that is the true power. Men are not worried about dying alone. Men are worried about living miserably. I'd rather live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved.
Why though? Why would u rather live dangerously free?
It seems like you don't think of marriage as a partnership,
2 people who love each other and want to navigate life together, and h ave a family that brings untold joy.
You will be very lonely someday.
@@janettemasiello5560 Yeah it's possible that he'll be very lonely one day, maybe he's already lonely, maybe he just said that cause he wants to convince himself that he'll be fine alone, or maybe he's really just happy to be alone.. we can't really tell.. but I hope he'll tell us why it's better to live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved....
@@janettemasiello5560 You can be married and lonely, not every marriage works out
@@mengmeng243you prefer to live enslaved?
I had two alcoholic parents that beat me bloody daily, for no reason, just because I was alive. It took me into my 30's before I could socialize with peers, and the scars of the abuse are life-long. It shaped my character, and I am nothing like my parents - but I chose a childless life and have very few friends. I am absolutely not lonely, this is my way of life. I chose to be a firefighter, medic and cop, and in this way cared for others. Don't let society dictate your path of life.
I had a similar upbringing and totally understand. 💜
You are an inspiration
While I empathize with your past experiences, the problem with your statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during your life, but you chose not to. Why? Because no matter what you've gone through, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive. Not bringing children into this world is your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
@@oriehi_raphael_paul
I would say that most men crave for the dream of having a beautiful family of their own but the risk is immensely against the modern men.
I'm glad that some have found someone to raise children's to this world and wish them the best.
This was very touching, I had the same domestic abuse upbringing, tried ending my life when I was 12, my brother saved me. The way this world is i am not interested to bring children into this world, I love my own company now days and wouldnt have it any other way.
If you're born to fit the mold, you'll never break it.
If you're born to break the mold, you'll never fit it.
great saying - i'll remember it cause i was born to break it trying to fit in
You never can leave your own footsteps, if you always follow the footsteps of others.
I'm 72, never married, have no children, and just a few important friends. I spend lots of time in solitude in my small home. I have no pressing needs or responsibilities, no worrying debt, and plenty of time to think. For me, a life of observance and contemplation is very important. Making a family and doing great things that may improve humanity is a wonderful way to create a lasting legacy, but I much prefer to sit this one out.
Wat yu do to work
I'm happy for your child free-life.
❤
Same here brother!!!
You are a free soul! Enjoy your peaceful life sir.
You want to get married, settle down and have kids? That's great! You want to stay single, focus on yourself and your passions/hobbies? That's great too! I don't understand why some people get offended at the idea of the latter, as if we're somehow cheating at life by not doing the former.
This is exactly right. To each his own. Why the conservative right wing media feels the need to turn this into a culture war pissses me off.
I think those who judge are likely unhappy with their own lives and decisions. If someone is truly content with their own decisions they don’t feel the need to judge the lives of others..This applies to both people with and without children
Whatever you want to do is accepted in a hyper modern and individualistic society maybe but in collective or even somewhat traditional societies and historically it was stigmatized when you stayed single and don't start a family and sometimes even now it's considered schizoid behavior
@@questioneverything1224that's true sometimes and other times people judge when you don't go with the norm or you don't do what everyone else in the family did it's not always because they're miserable or think they made the wrong choice
Because you are not holding up the society you rely on. You are not paying your side of the bargain. I have all the stress, cost and effort to create, soldiers, nurses, engineers, surgeons, Doctors, teachers, builders, farmers the list goes on and on. You have not paid your fair share but expect to still reap the benefits. It's not about feelings it's about duty-free
I escaped a life of poverty by avoiding heard mentality. I didn't have a single role model to guide me but I had an abundance of bad examples. A blessing in disguise, I imagine.
Same here, no role models but a lot of bad examples to NOT follow...
EXACTLY...i remember when i was 7. To think about poverty and how i would not live that life. I just did the opposite of what everyone in the hell hole i grown up did.
I heard it is spelled HERD mentality
Absolutely - anti-role models can be just as helpful as real role models. Looking at someone and saying, "I don't want to end up like that" can be powerful.
My father AND mother 🙄
Lets face it guys. Not everyone should have kids. Its usually the broken families that have the most kids
One of the reasons why the world is such an f'd up place, these kinds of people spreading their seeds all over the place.
You ever seen idiocracy? Lol. Perfect example.
yeah, most people should not have kids?
yeah, the imbeciles
Those kinds of people think having kids will give them social status or some kind of meaning in life. If you don't have either of those already, having kids won't do it and those frustration land on the kids.
When I was 9 years old, I told my mama that I would never get married or have children. I remember her saying that I might change my mind, but it was my life to choose what I wanted to do or not. I'm 67 years old, not married, and have no children; I am very happy with my life and don't feel like I have missed a thing.
I knew it at 14
I came to the same realization around 11 or 12. Everyone scoffed at me and told me I would change my mind. I am 43 now. I never changed my mind.
Are you a proponent of Anti-natalism by any chance?
Bro im glad I changed my mind of not getting married I ain't living a miserable life like my parents!
Same here chlofene!!
I am 48, never married, and childless. I catch myself feeling like I'm weird, have failed at something everybody else does, and not living up to something. But I never wanted, nor even liked, children. And I find it very questionable to rely on another person for fulfilment, completeness, and a sense of security. My parents seperated after 37 years, when I was already 34. So, that did enhance my feeling that in the end, there is no such thing as ultimate trust in someone else. Humans are mood-driven fleshy robots, totally unpredictable. Self-reliance and feeling complete on your own are absolutely essential.
Exactly. Life is short so just do what makes you happy.
Until you have to be accountable in your life review and come back when you fail to achieve your life purpose. No pressure lol.@@Lone_Star86 Read up on NDEs and your YOLO will shrivel up fast
Dude, you've got this thing figured out. That last line about self-reliance is key, whether or not you enter into a relationship and/or have kids.
I'm 53 and never had kids but several of my ex-girlfriends had kids shortly after we broke up (usually one year later). 1) I read that studies show that our DNA finds its way into kids that aren't technically ours, not sure that's true. 2) I helped these girls in their lives so there are more kids on Earth thanks to my being here. While it's not my DNA per se, I still helped the community. Some of us are better off being free and helping 100 people than being tied to helping 1 other person. Also, the financial risk of ruin for a man these days is a huge factor. I don't regret not having an ex wife.
It's okay for men to not have kids (2/3 of men who ever lived did not) because they pay NET taxes. It's not so much okay for women to not have kids (1/3 of women who ever lived did not) because they are on the receiving end. But that would self correct when men could choose which 1/3 of women not to reproduce. But now we have the welfare state paying her rent, social media telling her she's hot and Tinder hooking her up with an occasional Chad with Bad taste. When you subsidize something, you get more of it. We got more fugly women (who now want to see themselves represented on TV).
My father had 10 children. From the 9 remaining, as one of my half-siblings passed away, only 3 of us were willing to take care of him during his last months. The rest of them didn't even want to have him at their homes. Having children and being a good parent is no guarantee that you will be taken care of when you're old.
There is no way children will love their parents less than they deserve. I am sure your father was awful as a parent
Most people are spoiled today. You sound spoiled and entitled. It's not good to pamper your children as they will turn out thankless. Another thing is mother's whom used the father and lie on him. Generally men are not appreciated by society.@@Aybeliv_Aykenflaev
@@Aybeliv_Aykenflaev please don't speak disrespectfully of somebody you don't know. He was a good man, a good father and always worked hard to provide for all of us. Sadly, some people are just ungrateful.
@@LouiseAttaque888 Sounds like a raging narcissist
@@LouiseAttaque888 People are quick to judge, i'm sorry. Not everyone knew gratitude, that is reality.
I quit dating apps and my life has never been much peaceful than now.
I never went onto the apps. Met women in person. There isn't a difference. I do feel like a badass solo renegade now. Having fun my way with my time. It's great.
When I was a younger man, I used to wonder why the married with children spent so much time trying to convince the young and unmarried that it was an imperative to get married and have children. I heard all the reasons and rationalizations, and while I wasn't opposed to marriage, I didn't have it as a personal goal. In fact, I think that marriage is an essential institution for the furtherance of our species and for the development and maintenance of society. Still, I couldn't quite grasp why there was so much pressure by those who choose the family way to convince everyone that that was the only sensible and honorable way. Finally, it dawned on me, as I observed at all the unhappy married couples, the bitter divorces, and consequent state of society. The reason must be that misery loves company.
100%
My take on it as well.
Those who pressure others to do as they did, getting married, having kids, just want you to validate their own life decisions. That serves to reaffirm that they made the right choice.
That is incredibly selfish of them. I bet those people only pretend to care about your best interests.
Very intelligent comment. And accurate👍🏻✌🏻
JP is a government plant there to lead and control the opposition since there are a lot of sexless single angry men out there talking in groups on the net, sharing information. To those in power, this is scary, as it should be. The fabric of society is unraveling, and men are checking out. Historically, the majority of men never passed on their genes. They died one way or another or were sexually selected against. So he is also wrong about the facts. Government and corporations need manpower tho and there is a severe demographic decline going on that is global in scale. As for me I'm going my own way.
Absolutely true ! And jealousy I would say too. Of course in a good world it would be different.
I had that. Decades ago I moved from poverty farm land USA and went to the sunbelt. I prospered. At one point one of my farm land family said 'when will you come back here and suffer like the rest of us?'
Never did that....
I did everything society told me to do, my life was miserable. I don't care anymore what society says, I think for myself, what I want, what's good for me, what makes me happy. I'm here to be myself, not someone else.
Good for you. And you know, there’s a saying that I really love: opinions are like a-holes, everybody has one. 😅 So you do you !
Why do what society wants you to do in the first place if it's not what you want? I am the one that wants kids, not the society. It IS a natural imperative, without it I wouldn't be here.
You just inspired me to pursue porn
What did society tell you? not to have kids? or to be a boss bitch? (assuming you're a woman). Society is just a standard it doesn't mean you MUST go with it ...rather adapt I would say
@@Leonhart_93 who says you are better because you are here! Many are the times I wish I never were!
"To bear children into this world is like carrying wood to a burning house.”
― Peter Wessel Zapffe
That is a good one!
Yeah...don't give me that "biological imperative" nonsense. The world is ON FIRE right now. No place for new life until WE are ready to put the fire out and I see ZERO evidence.
Ohh this said everything 🙏
Sad but true.
My main man PWZ.
I was born to an abusive mother and a father who I rarely see because he is busy with work
My childhood was hell, there was no one to really care about me
I was bullied at school, beaten, and burned at home by my mother for no logical reason. In addition, I did not have any real friends. They were all toxic and exploitative.
This left me with a lot of scars as I grew older
I began to suffer from insomnia and anxiety most of the time, social phobia, in addition to self-loathing and depression. I always wonder: What did I do to deserve all this? I was just a crying, fragile little girl
All I want is to feel okay, that I'm good enough, and that I'm worthy of love
I really wonder why I didn't think about suicide at that time...
I grew up to become an introverted, isolated, and eccentric woman in the eyes of my family and others
I became cold, sarcastic, and indifferent to anything that happens to me in this life. Even death doesn't scare me anymore.
I think the three best things that have ever happened to me in this cruel world
My silly cat, Leon, and my best friend, Lian. I also joined nursing. I did not find nursing suited me at first, but now I believe that I was truly created to be there. I was created to take care of others.
I remember that one time brought tears to my eyes when a patient told me while smiling that although I appear to be a cold-hearted woman, I really have the heart of a caring angel.
This hit me hard and I was truly touched by his words
I am now single and have decided to remain so. I find marriage and having children to be optional and not compulsory as society and those close to us impose on us.
My mother pressured me to marry a lot because many people proposed to me for marriage, but I refused. She told me that I would be alone and that no one would care about me, and that I would die and rot alone.
I don't know why I laughed at the time, I found it really ridiculous
But I was always alone, mom. What has changed now?
I'm so used to being like that anyway that even the presence of other people doesn't make me feel comfortable
I would rather be like this than have a child exposed to neglect, violence, and bullying, as happened to me
A child is in pain and never stops asking what he did wrong, mom
I decided to remain single, I am really happy
I have my cat and my books and I play the piano and watch the stars and my blue flowers
I play chess with my best friend every Friday
I have nursing, philosophy and psychology and I didn't really feel like it
This happy before
Also, as I said, the matter differs from one person to another. The decision in the end is up to you, whether you want to get married and have children or remain single. Just do not let anyone determine that except you, because no one understands you except you.
Write a book may be
Search antinatalism
You had a bad childhood,but you lived through it and that horrible experience formed you as you are now, plus you didn't let other people's perception dictate your life,good things will come now, the worst has passed,good luck:)
I'm in my 30s. I'm single, I have no kids and I'm happy. All the money I make is spent on myself and all my free time is spent on doing things that I like doing. Call me immature, call me selfish, say that I'm wrong. In my humble opinion, the ones who are deluding themselves are those who think that the universe gives a crap about whatever they choose to do.
Exactly it shouldn't matter if someone wants to start a family or not. I'm not a parent by any means but one quote that sticks to the back of my head is:
"Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child"
Good on you I went with the heard got married when I didn't want to so I could fit in ended up in a divorce marriage just doesn't feel right to me I felt very trapped. Maybe with the perfectly compatible person it does I have my little girl out of it but I just don't think I was built for it.
@@daryl9799Thank you for your honesty. I wish you the best ❤
That's great. 🎉When men force things they don't just make themselves unhappy, they also make the women or partners unhappy as well. I hope you continue to do what you know makes you happy whether that changes or stays the same.
Happy people tell people online that they are happy usually lol
Happily married 35 years. We never wanted kids. 66 and 75 now, no regrets. People have to find their own path in life.
@@ivanvukasovic1371what could anyone say in response to this, except... Why do you care? And also, what is it you personally think children owe to their parents?
@@ivanvukasovic1371it's your life, not your parents'
@ivanvukasovic1371 i will be honest to you: if you knew what you wanted, you d be so sure, even your parents couldnt stop you from being you- aka: you wouldnt really give a fuck. 'there is a possibility' is not equal with ' the two of us are fine with that' .
The reason why you give 1 fuck, is bcs this opinion talks For you. You want children. Your partner doesnt.
this is how i want it to be
Your kids would have stuck you in nursing home and abandoned you anyway. Good job.
As a 40 year old man thats single and childless; I get alot of pressure from my father to have a family. He doesnt understand that times are different, times are tough, and for me personally, I feel like having a family and raising children seems too stressful and financially draining.
Listen to your voice, forget what the world says
I'm almost 43 years old and a single man. I've never been totally against marrying but I've always known it was optional, not mandatory. My family members have often been puzzled as to why I decided to opt out of marriage barring something extraordinary happening. However, I don't absolutely need a soulmate or children. What I do need is peace, tranquility and emotional balance in my life. I'll remain single if it means avoiding unnecessary drama.
Bingo!!!
Along my life, over 60 now, I never fitted in. Never felt belonging to a group or another, never liked what most people of my age liked. I thought there was something wrong about me. I had my own world and was happy being in it. This video shad a light in this life and made me feel normal for the first time. So happy reading others accounts showing that there are more people out there feeling the same way.
Thank you so much for showing this vision where we can feel that in the end we belong to a group in its own way!
always remember you are not alone in feeling completely fine being alone. be proud of your independence. stay strong brother
Here's a 61 🇮🇹 ✌
I've been feeling a lot of this, especially since my wife left.
Same here. 64 and I never fitted in society. Only recently detected that I was a 'system buster' spiritually speaking it was never the goal to fit in, on the contrary!
I confirmed to my parents and society's expectations, and lived a LIE. It is very arrogant of Jordan Peterson to make statements like that.
Steve Jobs nailed it when he said,
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. "
He was also a big a hole
Jobs was very egoistic. He denied fathership of his daughter Lisa. Not a guy of high moral and certainly not an idol.
True, but as Lady Gaga once said,
"Ra ra ooh la la"
@@klappesnobody cares about your personality when your arguement is valid like the case here.
I am a 32 year old father to a three year old. Life is much much harder ever since having a kid. It's unecessary hard.. If you want to have children and live like this fine, if not, that's fine too. There are enough humans on this earth... we are not facing an extinction problem
I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd.
Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porass.
"The greatest tragedy of family is the unlived lives of the parents " -- Carl Jung
The greatest tragedy is to bring another innocent soul to suffer on this prison planet.
@@FactsCountdown LOL. facts. I was interested in a big family when I was younger. It never worked out and time just went on and I got older and older. Now, I'm in my mid 40s and happy that I never had kids because frankly, the world and most people are so sh1tty, that I wouldn't want to sentence a human being to a lifetime on this planet.
jorden ignoring that
@@Pop_Tee so we should try finding good person which we can make happy each other or just try to be happy alone?
may be being alone is not the answer? or being with partner is not the answer?
Damn, that hits deep, i always urged my mom to live her own life intead of worrying about me and my life
I tried marriage. Got divorced after 8 years. No kids and im 44 with no debt, no drama, and no regrets. I have so much peace now. I tried dating, but I even found that to be a chore.
The minute I think of dating, marriage, kids, spouse, this, that, I'm filled with a nauseating sense of dread that comes. I even have breathing problems, as mild as it is. It just forms an unpleasant knot in my gut
Thanks for sharing that, as a single 26 yo guy, this somehow resonates with me, as I've tried dating and felt the same.
Yup
i tried a relationship after being divorced and it was even worse. the more time passes, the worse women get. now i got peace and i am quite happy.
100% Ditto on that.
I'm 58, single, never married, no children. Always had to deal with people judging me. Once I went to a counselor and he gave me a children's book called Ferdinand the bull. It actually really helped. Now I don't care what people think of me. All I know is I'm not lonely and I absolutely love my life and it is very full and enriching.
I won't ever get married or have kids in this crazy world.
Same 🤗
Thats it.
No love, no marriage, no children, no family? What is there then to live for in the world? I think that only via love or via family are we able to find meaning in this crazy world, a reason to continue your existence. If you won't ever have that, then there is no reason to continue existing in this crazy world. Love is the only hope that we have on the prison planet.
@@konstantinrebrov675 I'm a happy loner!!!
The world always has been crazy. That is just excuse. Just say that you're selfish, it is not bad but it's honest.
I am 67 years old. I never wanted to be married or have children. The idea of all of it was really unappealing to me. I have no regrets. In fact, I couldn’t figure out why people even wanted to do it. I actually always preferred animals to people, so I’ve always had a bunch of them. Even when I was part of a family growing up I didn’t like it. And personally, I don’t think my parents should have ever had kids because they were terrible at being parents. And I agree with you, when people choose to have kids, the kids don’t have a say in it. If they did, many would say no thanks. Being alive isn’t easy.
there is an existence after this one sir, i am Hindu from India and human birth is mostly suffering, please do read The Bhagavad Gita As It Is by Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada ji, all humans are unique, there are two ways of living life, materialistic or spiritual, this modern existence, you cannot be 100% spiritual/religious,one should have balance, there are realms of existence besides this earth, and how one lives his life determines where we go after this, to be born again as a human on earth, is for me the worst thing possible, Hare Krishna
@@srk024 if given the choice to exist or not to exist on this planet I would have chose NOT to.
@@bodhixxx1 same, i used to think it was a cosmic mistake, still do, but have my aged folks at home so gotta keep going at least for their sake, im their only child, and they have been very very good parents
Same here. I have had a strong opinion against having children since I was 5. Now I am 47 and think exactly the same, but I can relate to you regarding your parents. My parents neglected me emotionally and I think that’s the reason why I never wanted children, because I never felt truly loved so I didn’t want to reproduce that pattern. Even if I am still for being childless for many reasons, I also think that it’s not that normal to have a strong opinion on that issue being just a little child.
@@elsaaforges my reasons for staying single are a bit different, in India where im from, most are arranged marriages, based on community, wealth, status, etc i have also been unlucky in my affections for the opposite sex, also i think i have unrealistic standards, marriages today are mostly like a business transaction, sure you might fall in love after the marriage, have kids etc but nah, id rather be alone. i cant live a life of pretention, i cant marry for the sake of getting married. its too hard. nope, wont do it
I think a lot of times people that follow society's norms and conventions are scared by those that don't. If someone has gotten married, bought a house, and has children, they are extremely invested into that lifestyle. Being confronted with someone happily living an alternative lifestyle might evoke feelings of doubt. They might have never considered doing things differently, or according to their own ideas. And that feeling of: "Wait, I could have chosen? I could have decided for myself what I wanted to do with my life?" can be pretty intense. Also, making life choices (like having children) that you can't go back on kind of force you into making yourself believe it was the right choice. And that also works both ways of course.
Scared? We pity thee, we won't be the ones dying alone depending on strangers for everything, how strong's that copium you're on, Mr. Disfunctional?
@@dannymoneywell Have you even seen the video? Einzelgänger stated that having kids is not a guarantee that they will provide for you when you're old. Your kids might simply not bother with you or, as it has unfortunately happened, die before that can happen.
This is why I decide to just do whatever tf I want and if others dont like me, then that's on them. Not me. I have zero expectations for people to like me, and I will not be a slave to others anymore. If they hate me, I am okay with it because I know that their hate comes from a one-sided perspective. No one will ever know the true me. So why should I listen to someone who only knows a small piece of me. I know who I am and no one will ever guilt trip me into thinking otherwise.
@@dannymoneywelllol I barely speak to my abusive mother so if that was her plan in having me... oh well tough luck for her
@@dannymoneywell do you know the date, time and circumstances of your death? You can't . So how do you know you won't die alone?
My grandmother had 4 children 9 grandchildren and a loving husband, she was alone in her home when she died.
Even if your children live close to you, their lives are more important to them than your life, especially if they have jobs and kids of their own.
I haven't spoken to my brother in 29 years, do you know you won't fall out with your kids because of their choices or your refusal to change? You can't.
You can't know your future so you can't predict it. If you outlive your spouse, and your kids aren't physically or emotionally close to you, you're going to depend upon strangers for everything, the very things you claim causes you pity for those who you think will experience those things.
You have no control over your life or your death, you can only live it and hope you don't suffer the things you appear to fear.
People who stay single don't delude themselves about the possibility of how they will spend their final years, but they aren't prepared to sacrifice their single existence because of it.
So with that in mind, I see your position a coping mechanism. You fear the future you highlight, and can't cope with that possibility.
If you're married and have children, did you do so for genuine reasons or did you cross your fingers and hope those actions would reduce the likelihood of experiencing the things you've afraid of?
32 Year old male.
Not pressuring myself to "find someone and settle" is extremely liberating.
Like everything, there are people who function better alone, then there are others who need a constant partner. Do you.
Finally , in this world today where we unsee millions of lives and compete to raise 8 Billion people. Bringing another human because genetics is problematic.
Capitalism and consumption cause the major problems regarding child rearing, a generation of people helping the kids that are uncared would help society more than everyone being forced to be parents.
Most of the people I know who have chosen not to have children are the most thoughtful, intelligent people I know. Peterson doesn't know whry he is talking about.
There's one thing that parents and non parents agree on- they both feel sorry for each other
yet parents also feel sorry for themselves too, because modern parenting makes you into a slave of the society you live in.
EXCELLENT comment
Well ; I disagree to some extent !!! My husband & I would love to have children of our own ; we are financially stable with very good solid careers & good jobs but Unfortunately due to medical conditions beyond our control even with IVF; have been unsuccessful 🥲🥲🥲. I look @ couples with children 👦 & really wish I could be in their shoes . We’re not jealous or envious; We just wish we could have a family of our own as well . So I wouldn’t say All Parents & Non parents feel sorry for each other ; May be just some !!! I know Parenting is very challenging but most loving couples eventually figure it out & raise able bodied & responsible children !!! I still hope we get that Opportunity God willing🙏🏿
He is the most inspiring person I have ever met, I listen to a lot of his stories. Those shares changed me a lot for the better when I heard those profound shares from him
Everybody have problems and miscommunications, its up to each individual to make an effort to maintain healthy relationships.
If you do not do or can not do it, then he is right, you are an lazy, selfish, dilutional or immature.
Good parents try to leave this world just a little better for their children and do not feel sorry for each other.
Family unit is a core of our civilization and current narrative and people like you is what will destroy it.
Fun fact, without families we as a species will cease to exist.
I never wanted to have children or to get married. I'm 58 now and still feel this way.
Did i miss out on something ? Maybe, but i really cannot see what that would have been.
I DO know from a very early age that i am a loner, and those around me keep reminding me of this fact, by always attacking it, proving i understand myself a lot better than they could ever do.
I’m 54, and enjoy it even more as I see my friends having to support grown children, raise their grandchildren, and have no money or freedom! Too much drama for me.
Societal standards. The big hive mind, group think syndrome.
I'm 33 years old, I don't have kids, I don't want to have kids. For most of my life I feel like I've already failed at living for myself, I've been somewhat been overwhelmed over the opinions of others before people even gave me a real deal of expressing myself, people like racist, people of great authority, crazy alcoholics and self centred people.
I'm more of a loner anyways because most people I've been in contact with hardly have enough in common with me nor interests with me. I don't want to be overwhelmed again by politics and the ridiculous point of views of others whom share an overload of their passion.
They are Jealous and Only Want You in the SAME CHAINS They ARE IN. TOO BAD, Them. Not Happening. Sorry You WERE SO GUILIBLE
@MadaraUchiha-ly8wr
You're doing FINE, My Friend. DO NOT CHANGE ONE IOTA
I never got married and never had children. As time advances, I am more and more convinced I made the right decision for myself and for the planet.
Definitely the right decision
Children are not retirement plans
Everyone reading this, let me just say:
Don’t let online strangers or family or friends determine if you should want kids or not. If you do, PLEASE make sure you are in a good financial, mental, physical, and emotional state to do so (and with a equally agreeable partner). If you don’t, then create some short and long-term goals since you’ll have a pretty large free-time margin down the line. Keep walking in truth and in love ❤
Probably the first actual advice somebody can and should take here in these comments 👏 So many people here bashing each other for wanting/not wanting kids..... just live and let live , its not hard
I refuse to put up with the insanity of the modern w-om-an and the madness of our broken dating and mating systems, not to mention the merciless, anti-male divorce court industry.
I also refuse to continue to regard my gen-it-als as mere toys. They are for making another human being, not playing around with.
Therefore, I have resolved to become celibate. All unused s-exu-al energy will be converted into creativity.
You are an online stranger telling people how they should live. What an irony.
@@_sneer_ :-D 🫶🏾
@@_sneer_ No he/she isnt. They're saying that its your own choice and you should think for yourself.
My favourite is when I'M called selfish for NOT having children.
That's breeder "logic".
Use Anti-Natalism to defend yourself, lol.
To understand this you would have to examine who is calling you selfish. A parent who wants grandchildren? Some jerk on the internet? There’s usually a logical explanation for such a comment. And that motivation is going to be in the selfish interest of the person trying to shame you.
yeah it’s really fucking tedious lol
choosing to not have a kid due to health and environmental reasons is one of the most selfless things you can do
never pay attention to those kind of people, they’re insecure and projecting how they feel about themselves towards you
Selfish toward who??? Your non existent children? A society that's trying to exploit you and treat you like a baby factory?
When I was pretty young my mom told me "someday you'll have a pain in the ass just like you running around and you'll understand." I replied "nope." I think about that moment fairly regularly. I've stuck to it. I sometimes feel kind of bad because I know for sure she'd love some grandchildren, but bringing a child into this world just seems cruel. Not to mention that in America it's a one way ticket to poverty. The energy that I would spend raising kids, I hope, is being used to advance society in other areas.
❤ brilliant 😊
There is not even a need to advance society. Most people don't. Many people can't, even if they would like to. But it is not their fault. There is nothing wrong with just living your life without these thoughts of doing something for society. We are not ants.
"Youre supposed to marry."
"Says who? Some guy in youtube?"
Haha that cracks me up! 😂
I would say to Jordan P: I would have had a kid if I had found a woman who I loved, and who I believed would be a good parent to my child, while also being myself, psychologically, emotionally, and financially prepared to have a kid. We all need to find our own paths in life, and not force ourselves into marriage and creating a child because "we're supposed to." Having a child in such a way is the very definition of selfishness. The last thing this world needs is more people born into unhealthy and loveless situations.
I'd bet that most aren't planned pregnancies.
Well said
Very well said.
Same. I'm not against having children. I know I would love my child. But how am I supposed to think about children when I haven't even met the right mother for them? My previous serious relationships have ended badly. If I had had children with those women, it would have been a nightmare. I'd be in debt or just plain broke.
Totally agree.
An impact on my perception of having kids, is when my father told me that his father (my grandfather I never really knew) despised his children. The assumption of parents loving their children is naïve.
Of course
so true, kids stay babies only for a short time, having a parent like that is something like a curse but Karma has a plan for us all,
it's not, and that makes no sense. Loving children is imperative. If you don't, you're disrespecting your ancestors as well as your predecessors. Your grandfather was a failure and naive, not those who love.
@@ProtoIndoEuropean88 all people are not the same, who knows what that old man went through in his life, maybe he loved another but married the grandmother, and was sad throughout his life, maybe he had a drinking problem, everyone is different, there are childless people who are good with kids and parents who abuse their kids, the world is a strange place
@@srk024
Then the problem is simply toxic people, not having kids nor making a family! The problem lies in how our society is being run by these politicians.
I'm 43 and do not have or want kids, marriage. Saying no to "social norms" is very beneficial too.
I agree with this video. My mother suffers from mental illness and my father was an abusive alcoholic. They should have never had children but they had 4 because they were being selfish. I never asked to come into this world. And since they didn't know how to raise children in a loving environment, I suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD. I made the decision years ago not to have children because of this. I also understand that bringing a child into this world is against their will. They might suffer from the same things that I have even if I gave them a loving and supportive environment. I wasn't willing to do that. I am so glad that I decided agaisnt having children. I'm not sad that I won't have anyone to visit me when I am older. I am excited that I will be able to do whatever I want when I am older without disappointing or relying on my children. I have true freedom of not having anyone that relies on me or I rely on.
A child is a human being. One should not have children if they cannot care for and provide for the children. Also children need time and dedication from the parents that brought them into this world.
Common fucking sense which most people don't have
Wishful thinking🤦♂️
Cowardly thinking. There is never a perfect time for a child. Can you say all your life choices are perfect? Should you not make any choices in life if they aren't well thought out and guaranteed to bring a successful outcome ?
@@vlid0I think the meaning is more about people that are in poverty already and then add a child to the mix?
@@kab2599
Or multiple children as so often seems to be the case with those who are least able to provide for them.
Recently I caught up with an old boyfriend, we dated in our late 20s, I am 50 now. He was a bit worried for me, since I never got married, nor have kids. I thanked him for his concern and I wasn’t offended in the least. That’s when I knew I was truly comfortable with the choices I’ve made.
Most women regret not having kids.
Most men don't care one way or the other.
That makes sense given that women have the kids financed by someone else and men have to finance the kids.
poor old lady.... i feel bad for you. God loves you
@@stoicsanjin poor fearful man.. i feel bad for you. i hope one day you can win over your fear of being different
You are living your life the way you decide, be proud of it! Cheers!
@@stoicsanjinlol bro triggered by women having a choice
People have been lied too for centuries. Who said we had to do these things.
im 25 and have no plans of having kids or getting married or having a gf. I love my single life to much
My father condemned me all throughout my twenties for not starting a family and carrying on the family name.
Interestingly enough, in his youth he had multiple lovers with whom he had seven illegitimate children he was barely there for, one divorce and a second marriage that is slowly festering with each passing day.
Sounds like he was some busy fellar XD
Sounds about right for the boomer generation
My dad already cheated on my mom what Legacy bro F that S*** I don't wanna deal with no family legacy and be my own person!
Your father is a bad human being, why would you even care what he thought about your lifestyle?
@@vernongrant3596 when you have only one parent in your life, their opinion of you matters that much. Believe it or not I connected more with my step mom and when she started to hate him too I realized just how toxic he was.
I never married, I don't have kids. I think generally people that choose this route are not valued by society. However I know why I made the decisions I made and I stand by them. I have my reasons and I don't have to explain them to anybody. You're allowed to be you.
Same here exactly as you have stated.
Didn’t have a kid until late, best decision, I shouldn’t have waited so long. Being a parent is the most challenging thing in life...spending money carelessly does however follow the majority in the West.
I mentally ill and don't want kids that I can't do a good job taking care of. I think that I am making a mature decision.
Dude nobody said you have to have kids. My uncle is 62 and never had kids or get married and he’s happy. But if you want kids and want to get married then you can if you want if that’s what makes you happy. Just do what makes you happy
Username checks out 😂 Remember, you can’t be a mother to your pets as a substitute for children.
Who can afford children ? Maybe we just dont want to raise kids in poverty?
Exactly 💯
That's the idea.
I'm comfortable, content and happy by myself. Age 66. Never married, no kids. Am not a follower. Carve out my own path. No complaints. Many times after meeting parents it's easy to see why the kids are the way they are.
It all starts at home. Glad I don't have that BS. Foot loose and fancy free. I have no complaints.
In my 28 years of teaching emotionally disturbed teen a large majority of them were that way because of their parents. Be it genetics or parenting skills many of them were emotionally wrecks quite a few ended up as wards of the state living in mental institution or prisons. A good number didn't make it to the age of 18. Some of them turned out to be monsters. Thank God they are locked up.
I’m perfectly happy being child free and never been married. I had girlfriends and made this clear to them. I enjoy traveling, buying my big boy toys and financially stable. I’ll be 50 yrs old in two months and have no regrets.
yet
@@lynnedavidson4772I’m 79 and I haven’t had regret yet 😱🤔😜🖕👀
@@lynnedavidson4772 if he hasn't had regrets "yet" he never will. Stop pushing your own insecurities on others.
@@lynnedavidson4772 why do you say so?
@@lynnedavidson4772dude is fifty, if he was to be regretful of that choice a decade ago it would already have bitten him
I onced walked into a cabin in the woods where everyone carved their names into the walls and all the wooden furniture- thereby totally trashing the place. They did this so a physical manifestation of their presence would remain after they left the cabin. This sums up the primary motivation why most people have children.
That's such a stupid, primitive biological desire that should be trumped by logic.
People have children because we are biologically built by genes that are selfishly trying to continue to exist. The Selfish Gene by Dawkins. And the fields of evolutionary biology and psychology expound on all this. It’s basic biology. It’s not a conscious choice so much as an instinct for most people.
The more curious question is why people who have kids seem to want all the other 8 billion humans to do the same. Why would they care? This also has philosophical answers but beyond the scope of this comment.
Primitive biological desire yes, stupid well that would depend on your reason for the primitive behavior and if your allowing your biology and not your 'logic' to lead you@@normanosborn1277
Having children is and was a way for people to gratify their sexual desire in a socially acceptable way.
That's a bad comparison though. You'd have no complain about the people who built that cabin in the woods, thereby leaving a physical manifestation of their presence in a place that didn't have them before.
I myself find parallels between the cabin and childless people. A long line of ancestors tried their best to raise children and yet it ended with childless people because "life sucks". That's like the people who doesn't maintain the cabin passed down their family line and left it rotten and marked with graffiti.
There's a reason JP is often vague and wordy, once he gets specific he exposes how shallow his thinking is.
i'm married have two daughters
i don't regret a single day that i have them
their love to me is giving me the energy to become a better man and a father
See, everyone should make the choice that's right for them. I'm glad my Dad had kids, I loved him like crazy.😊
Sometimes the hardest to deal with is the judgement and opinions of those around you. Knowing your family, coworkers and friends consider you as a weirdo or incapable or broken in some way. And to explain all this goes way above the head of the normal culturally integrated human.
What can we do if usually if not every single time this kind of speech and ideas are the product of weird incels who couldn't get laid if their lives depended on it so they say they don't need these things to make them feel better about their own disfunctional emotional and social interactions and the empty shells they call their lives? Not gonna paint the white sheep black just to appease you.
F them
As much as it can hurt, you will always be an anomaly to someone who just can't or doesn't want to acknowledge your way of living as valid, and the way they go about it can range from a minor inconvenience to the most depraved shit ever. It's why speaking your mind and standing up for your own good is so important, or else they'll use every chance they get to steamroll over you
@@filerecovery5319 you are right, and its really not a big problem for me. Its more like, how others perceive me, its a part of my psyche still. Having a nice car, wearing nice clothes, having a nice house, its nice to think people perceive you as successful, that you made it. Having normal relationships with children is also part of that "success" just because society decided it should be, no amount of philosophy from our individuality can change society.
Since we cannot change society, we can only change ourselves, we have to accept this and accept that for that part of our lives many people will consider us failures. Even if people love us deeply and respect us, due to their conditioning, at times they will feel pity for us, think we are broken, they cannot help it. This can be hard at times, and my younger self struggled with this a lot.
Its just slightly sad to consider this, I don't really mean anything by it either, and its not something that needs fixing, just thinking out loud here i guess. Thanks for your support and reply.
Actually I often had people telling me they envy my lifestyle because I am able to manage and do things alone, something that has been taken from them or because they are too afraid to do things alone.
For me, life got much better when I learned to mind my own business and not try to mind others business. So, if I am to suggest something, it is - "Do what you think is best for you, and ignore the opinions of others".
Yup.
Or if on a bumper sticker.....
SUCCESS IS HAVING
YOUR OWN APPROVAL
Things that society depends upon should obligatory. No society can survive without kids. So you should delineate private business and public duty.
Same here. Whenever I made choices based on what I thought was best for me I was winning in life. Whenever I made choices based on opinions of others, my life was turning into a mess.
@@angelinasimon3513 Yes Ma'am. It was amazing when I started doing things for me first, and not others. Of course, the others got upset with it.
For me, as long as that involves causing no harm to others, I'm all for it.
When I was young, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a flight attendant, I wanted to live in Hawaii. None of that happened after I got pregnant. After my girls were grown and moved out, I jetted to the southern US and enrolled in college and went to New Orleans with various friends. I got involved in photography and theater. I never finished my degree (it was kinda dumb)…and now I look ahead towards my future. I no longer listen to anyone who tells me what I need to do. I do what I want, when and how I want to do it. My point is, never listen when other people tell you how to live out your life. As far as we know, we only get one life (unless you are Buddhist or something) so make it YOUR best life. ❤
It’s sad when there are narcissistic people trying to say that “not having kids is wrong” and they can’t even say how it’s wrong.
I could never take life seriously. I've never wanted to follow the lifescript 1.0. The longer I live the more I'm convinced that it's best to just stay away from all the human-made drama altogether. Their insecurities, fragile egos, fear of death and controlling, needy nature are way too exhausting to deal with. I just want peace and quiet, nothing else.
I understand these all...yet can't stop myself from being affected....what to do!! I seriously want to imply what I know... still i find myself stuck to things said to me or judgements passed on ... what's the way out!! I sincerely m asking
@@shraddyswift8206once you realize you are not your thoughts and emotions but just the vessel experiencing them you will become free. Learning to be the observer and not applying judgement to the thoughts that pass like clouds is a fundamental part in separating from the chains of the ego. I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle, Micheal Singer, and Mooji teachings to help better understand this concept. All the love and hope you can find freedom.
@@shraddyswift8206 When you observe your lingering thoughts and feelings you become above them. So acknowledge those worrying thoughts about those judgements and then say what you truly want. Did you know your mind shapes your reality? Billions of people want happiness and now he universe is showing us how, shape your thoughts.
@@shraddyswift8206 Know that a lot of us have to deal with the punching bag treatment unless you have privileges to deal with it less or not at all.
"I really don't fit in, even if I wanted to"
This hits home 😢
Jesus didnt "fit in" either.. Most genius's have almost no friends., Mensa is full of alcoholics. The ocean of humanity takes many forms
I feel the same. I invest so much, is it me
We all are self obsessed, self obsessed so much so that we don't even see the stupidity of this video creators statement: I would want to work on my goal instead of marriage and maybe make contribution to humanity. The problem is not this, but if 100% people followed your life path THERE WOULD NO HUMANITY BE LEFT. 😅
It always comes down to is whatever your doing in life can other people do it or not when they watch you, don't let other people fill up with contempt that they hate you also don't let them see you, truly mind your solitude.
The rat race is superficial and hollow. You're not missing anything.
@@words007first of all. All of the people never think the same.and also the creator of the video never mentioned like, this is the right thing to do. You're just finding an stupid excuse to justify your ideology.
I didn't have kids and I am now 48, no regrets. I never had enough salary to have a kid plus myself. You can't guarantee that a partner will stick around either. I didn't buy a house because I am by myself so it is pointless. I am ok with my choice and really don't care what Jordan Peterson says about it. I am happy without kids. I like kids but kids I can give back to parents. Maybe I am selfish...oh well but it's better than having kids and not treating them well or resenting them.
I had to take care of my grandma because her children (including my mom) didn’t want to. Advice from my grandma: don’t have kids
Sad and funny at the same time.
I'm not targetting your grandma per say but one can't draw conclusion on a single sample. I'd say it's not rare that grand parents may be way nicer with their grand children than they were with their own children (it's a 24/7 relationship, with grandchildren it's only from time to time).
The grand parents may also raise their childs like spoiled little brat who won't care in return, so if their kids don't care about them may partly be their fault.
You are the only person who can decide what's right for you. If you choose not to get married and have children, it's no one else's business. Your life, your choice.
Sure, and you're the one who'll live to suffer the consequences, that's true for any bad choice.
Except western countries are sort of pyramid schemes for social benefits so without kids expect a different quality of life when you are old if too many people dont have kids.
@@dannymoneywell Why is not having kids and not getting married a bad choice by default?
@@filerecovery5319 Because the world is a cold difficult place to thrive in even with a family and without one it's and even harder colder lonelier place where at the end of your natural life you will be alone and depending on strangers for everything, it's not that complex of a concept to grasp.
@@dannymoneywell
Having a family with kids does not guarantee that they will be there for you when you are old, or even care about you as is. Children leave their parents all the time, spouses leave their partners all the time. Besides, your kids could potentially not make it that far.
On the other side, having no partner or kids doesn't guarantee loneliness. You can have a social circle of people who care about you instead of strangers. You can also find companionship in other things that aren't tied to family. Can always take care of the elderly who aren't related to you, or have a pet.
Im in my early 50s. Never had kids. I'm so glad I didnt. It has been so hard for my husband and I to take take of ourselves and the furry children we have been blessed to have been able to give second chances to by adopting them from shelters over the years. Everything is so incredibly expensive and I knew that I could never afford to give children a running start in life. I think its selfish and unfair to bring children into this world unless your fully able to afford to give them the very best in life and the tools to get ahead.
I was abused by multiple family members growing up aunts, uncles, even my biological (sometimes I question) parents. They think I have forgotten and I have rage hidden within. How can they ask me to give them grand children? So they can abuse them too? Over my dead body or better theirs.
I knew at a very young age that I wanted a peaceful single life. I grew up with tons of drama and disfunction within my own family which led to lots of blaming and narcissism. Id rather live the quiet life than live a life someone else wanted for me and hate it. I saw that go bad in my family as well. Never do something for someone else. Do it bc you want to do it! I cant tell you how many people have wanted to change me to their own liking and for their own benefits. Its disgusting. I dont want to be part of cult aka society.
I love and totally agree with what you said
As African, I relate
I agree
A lot of healthy people out here who chose early not to marry and have children. Good on you.
Fact is, life drags us to many places we can't predict. Sometimes we want children or marriage and we can't find it. Sometimes we have sex with a woman, she gets pregnant and we marry because now we have a responsibility whether we like it or not. So the best thing is to make peace with how our lives are going, either having more money and buying a car or a computer as a single man, or watching your child grow and deriving satisfaction from that. We choose less than we think, it's hard to wrestle our impulses, and it is hard to be either married or single, because the life we don't have seem alluring because we only focus on the good parts of it.
Most people don’t want kids though. They want sex. Once the kids show up then they want to take care of them. That’s how biology makes animals for the most part. In all of human history the vast majority of children were not planned and they are “wanted” after they show up. Now that we can decouple sex and reproduction the game changes.
Yeah, so many people here in the comments saying that they want this or that..... but what they fail to realise is that life has its own will, at one point you are here , in the next hour you are there
I've tried dating but it didn't work for me I realized it's hard for me to live with a man too much work only to be disappointed I'm happy alone
It's mostly jealousy. Marriage and having kids is like a mandatory job to some people, and when someone comes along and says, "Naw, I'm happy, single and don't want marriage or kids," they lose their mind like you're cheating through life. That's when they hit you with the, "You'll die alone!" Everyone dies alone. "No one will be around to take care of you!" Your children are living their lives, let them be and get into an old folks home.
There are too many unwanted kids already in this brutal world - we don't need more.
In my life, it's my mom that keeps saying these things..I am 33 now...and it's like she won't let me live alone untill I get married..I know where she is coming from...she might be thinking it is such a crazy world, and I, her daughter would need someone who can be there for me when needed but I keep telling her that I would be fine alone..she just won't listen...
Pain of being a non resident father for 15 years is slowly killing me. Don't have a child from someone you don't love. Don't!
What's non resident father mean? 😮
@@honor9lite1337 He doesn’t live in same state as his child.
No it means the child doesn’t live with you at your residence. The child lives at another residence hence the saying he is not the resident parent.
Then why did you do it? Did you not believe in love at that time or what?
This stated so poorly. The use of double negatives doesn’t help. What are you really saying here?
As a therapist who has extensive experience working in child protection and with victims of domestic violence, I applaud those who know themselves well enough to make a conscious choice and the courage and intelligence not to cave in to social pressure.
Courage and intelligence... not to help renewing their country's population.
Quite negative, despite said people judging themselves not to be parent-material.
@@Briselanceshut up
it's not about that. it's an issue of demographic. the least productive and stable people are breeding the most. the most intelligent and rational people are not. the current ecology is also not conducive to growth and reproduction. the empire must downsize and a lot of people have to displace or disappear by other means for there to be a renewed period of rising birthrate. in other words, there are no good environments left for intelligent people to begin families. the left saw to that.
@Briselance so you would like children to have parents who aren’t fully invested in them because they only did it to “keep the population up” and for the children to have multiple issues because of it?
@@Briselance This planet already has what, about 9 billion people now? Are you saying there aren't enough people already? India is half the size of the U.S. and yet felt the need to inflate its population to a full billion more than that of the U.S.! What have the rewards been?
- no improvement in the country's standard of living
- a million people per year dying of air pollution
- 5-6 figures of people per year dying of snakebite
- mass emigration to other countries
Other wonderful Third World economic write-offs include Bangladesh (half the population of the U.S., but twice the size of Iowa), Philippines, Nigeria, Indonesia, etc.
JP is clueless of the fact that some of us have evolved to a higher plane of awareness of the monumental changes in the societal, legal and economic landscape compared to that of the last century and, as such, have the capacity to make better informed choices as individuals than our more egalitarian ancestors ever did. Thus, adherence to an old order construct of pair bonding under a one-sided legal contract and procreation - for us - is not viable.
The literally "God is dead".
JP is clueless. Full stop.
Well said
‘’Be alone ,that is the secret of invention. Be alone, that is when ideas are born”
Nikola Tesla
I found out that being ALONE is probably the best thing that happened me. Wasn't on purpose, but it's just the way it is..
Same, it felt like it was not my own decision, as a 47 year old male women just don’t feel attracted to me so I have been single and dateless my whole life. I’m also at the point now that I think it’s Best thing that happened to me.
@@koningkoe I'm a 44F and would happily date a man your age (45-50) is my preferred age range. All the men I find in this age range are either divorced with kids or still banging on about wanting them. 🙄. I really don't want kids!! You sound great! 😅
@@Kittygirl88851 I am great, people like my personality generally. the problem is that I have a partially deformed face that can't be corrected by surgery so that's the reason I wouldn't find any woman that wanted to give me a chance and I certaintly won't blame them. I fully understand why women ignore me I would probably do the same if I was a woman.
Even though i'm deformed there some men out there that are deformed as well and they did find love, but I was not that fortunate sadly.
I enjoy being alone but I someimes feel sad that skipped everything in life but i'm happy that i'm still alive.
Putting up with my mother telling us constantly for 16 years (before she left) that every problem in her life, and the reason she was so angry and miserable all the time, was because of 'you bloody kids!' put me and both my brothers right off the idea of being that miserable 🤷♂
Way to end your genetic line mum! 🤦♂
I know exactly what you mean. But I had children late in life, largely because my wife wouldn’t have it any other way. I have changed radically for the better. Yes it has been near-limitless stress, but the change was worth it all.
Its all perspective. Ur mum was to busy looking backwards to look forwards. You can avoid that mistake.
@@Elemblue2 That's a good point but I've got two motorbikes that need looking after now and I'd probably have to stop riding if I had kids coz I really suck at it 😂
@@LiminalLion Thanks for your reply. They’re adults now. One is severely autistic, and mentally at the level of a nonverbal 3 year old. It has been and continues to be gruelling right into my 70’s. But yes it has changed me for the better as a person.
That sounds like a 'her' problem. No reason why you would have the same hangup.
People place way too much value on relationships. It doesn't make you a better person, or even a happier person. Every now and then you meet someone that makes your life better over all, but you can't expect someone like that to magically show up in your life with no effort on your part. And even then, people change over time. It is far better to focus on being happy by yourself before ever considering having a relationship
I'm 37 years old, married and just had a little girl 2 months ago. I'm really happy with my wife and life overall as we work like a team in every way of life. I never feel alone or without support because of her loyalty and love. Therefore I respect her as my equal and work hard for her to feel the same.
However I truly understand people who don't want to get married. My older brother got married with the wrong person, they always fight, shame themselves, and have no respect for their relashionship. She has cheated him and for reasons I cant understand he accepted her back. I feel terrible for my brother a I truly believe he would have been happier staying single.
So, I think that if you found the right person for you, absolutely is worth living in marriege. If not, dont force it just to satisfy society expectations. You can be happy whatever path you choose to follow. Just be true and honest with yourself
I'm 41, divorced with no kids, not religious and couldn't be happier. I don't date, I no longer desire to be in a relationship and don't currently have pets. Anytime I aspired to be what society wanted me to be, I was miserable. I may have mental health struggles and brain problems to contend with, but I'm happier in life than I ever have been before. I live a very peaceful life where I can pretty much do whatever I want and I would never go back to the life society wants me to live.
While this might sound conspiratorial (growing up in a cult like Mormonism will tend to do that)
An idea Started to form in my twenties, is that they want to sell you something that makes you deeply miserable, yet market as the be all end all of happiness, so that you are so busy trying to figure out why you are so unhappy that you simply are unable to see that your being robbed for essentially no reason. The text book example of this is the car. So many people are maddingly depressed when driving, their health suffers, yet they are told not only that it's necessary, but that it's "freedom".
Meanwhile cars get bigger, the loans get bigger, and the people get bigger, all without understanding that literally the person in Amsterdam is healthier, wealthier and happier BECAUSE they don't own a car.
@@ethanstump I would argue that cars can be a great time IF you have the wealth to maintain them, and you live in a place with low traffic. As for the average American consumer...well...they get sold a bill of goods and stay miserable as a result of it. The McMansion, the SUV, the long stressful high traffic commuting, all of it is a garbage lifestyle. I went a different path and am far happier for it.
Do you have to pay her any alimony, though? Not sure if it still applies if you didn't have kids.
@@LLS710 No, I have never been made by the court to pay alimony.
@@Ziegfried82 that's the thing though, is that car manufacturers specifically lobbied the government during the world wars NOT to be labeled as luxury goods. i personally would've loved if cars had remained the domain of the rich, but the rich specifically did not want that to be so.
For me, my freedom to chose what to do every day with my time without having obligations to children or even a partner is priceless. I will never give this up and I don‘t care anymore what others may think of how I live my life. If they use their time to think and debate about how others live their life, they are the ones using their time the wrong way. As long as you are not harming or taking advantage of others, you are free to live your life the way you want.
Dear Kushi
RIGHT ON!
EXACTLY!
DITTO!
❤ from a contented childless never married faded HippieChick. ✌ 😄
I can't believe my luck that I found this video, I have a feeling that you are the first person who understood my thoughts, I love all your videos!
When I realized my children were not “mine” they were born through me…that’s it. They owe me nothing. All I can do is guide them in their own choices and hope that life’s suffering doesn’t consume them. Life is all about letting go and is the same for children
I follow my nature. No partner, no family, no stress, no obligations, no troubles, no consessions. Freedom, serenity, Joy, goals, creativity, nature. I love it! 😊
I have all that and two sons.
and your life is of no consequence either...
You have failed in life. It’s okay.
What a bunch of douches on this comment thread.
@@matthewschiebout7384 Neither is yours.
Perfectly timed video for all those “why are you single”, “when are you getting married” and “when are you having kids” conversations that inevitably occur at this time of year!
😂😂😂 for real. I want to get married but not now and I'm not sure I want kids, most of the time I don't want.
Reminds me of a joke. "When i was younger and attended weddings of relatives the older ones would come up and say: you are next. When i started doing this at funerals they didnt find it funny anymore" :)
Solution: I don't talk to my relatives for years now and never will again.
@@mosuke5123😂😂😂
Are you okay??
I’m 42, never married, and no kids, and I’m not mad about that. What does bother me is the fact that I never found a true calling/purpose of a career. Having a family seems to bring a motivation to life that’s hard to replace. If I would’ve known that life would take me down this road, I definitely would’ve taken school and career more seriously.
You would have wasted your time in those INDOCTRINATION CENTERS, I saw some very bad things when I was in university, take it from me, that's the last place you want to be.
At 42 you should be at your peak
@@joblakelisbon Yeah, well, with everything I’ve been through in life, I think it’s an accomplishment to be able to say I’m still here.
And I'm glad you're still here. I can relate to the hardships. Maybe thinking about the fact you need a purpose, puts too much pressure on it. I've yet to find my own at 33, but I can find joy in learning to play the piano for instance. In my social work, whenever there was a piano I'd play for clients. That was meaningful in a way. Even if it just reached one soul. All the best to you.
45 year old artist. It’s been hard. Still is. No kids, less hard. I also have $100,000 in student debt, to better myself, they can’t take my education back, but if I could go back, I’d do it again, cause you can be a loser easier with an education, cause people think you could be up to something, and you might be. Without an education, o would have pursued plumbing or electrical. I might still do it just for a fun side hustle. 😂life is great with no kids and no wife and no drama ❤
I'm 29 and I have decided not to marry. I don't want to take care of only my children & wife and get busy in a married life. I want to help few other ppl who are suffering from lack of finance and education.
I feel if I get married then I will become selfish by thinking only about my wife and children which i don't want.
I was born to be a mother. My kids are my world. This has made me realise that too many people are having children who really don't have the maternal instincts and would rather be doing something else. Having children is only for those who truly want kids. There are too many unloved kids/people who have mental illness due to knowing they were not really loved and wanted. Just watch Soft White Underbelly to see what I mean.
What you've expressed above is one of the most mature opinions I've ever encountered.🖖👍
I wasn't loved as a child. Beaten and mentally abused. Still struggling sometimes and I am 61. Don't get me wrong. I think kids are wonderful and probably they are sometimes not so wonderful. I always thought I might be horrible to my kids too and rather have none. I am glad I don't have kids. But I am very glad that children like me. I am very kind to kids.
❤ so true
God bless you, but to each its own.... its all about loving your own situation.....
Loving Mothers always seem to have the absolute purest reasoning and acceptance. I’m patiently waiting for humanity to allow loving mothers lead us to heal…again-thank you
I am 60 years old, and never had children and I am not married. I am perfectly happy and have no regrets in my decisions to walk a different path.!
only 60 years old
still so young and immature
once you hit 63 you will surely change your mind!
Ecclesiastes 4:2-3 GNT
"I envy those who are dead and gone; they are better off than those who are still alive. But better off than either are those who have never been born, who have never seen the injustice that goes on in this world." Rock of Ages
"Traditional wisdom is often long on tradition and short on wisdom."
Warren Buffett, businessman investor
"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man"
F. Nietzsche. "laughing lion" for the ages
“It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer”
― Arthur Schopenhauer
@@SuspiriaX you are not funny
@@qdpqbp so married ppl do not watch youtube SO YOU ARE HERE QZ YOU FEEL LONELY HAHAHAA POOR ONE GO TALK TO WALL MAYBE U GET FEELINF LESS LONLEY HHHHHHHHH
im happy for you.
Not everyone can handle being in a relationship, let alone marriage and having children .
52 M, never married and no children.
One of the greatest challenges each of us has is finding out who were are and what we want out of life; once we answer this question, we've defined what happiness means for us.
I am 71, never married. Sometimes I do regret not having any children, at least none that I know of. But I've enjoyed life it's been an adventure and looking forward to the rest of this adventure
Admirable honesty about regretting not having kids but nonetheless having enjoyed life and looking forward to the rest of life. I feel similarly, it’s not black and white for me!
A quote I heard somewhere: "It's better to regret not having children than to regret having them."
I’m going to use that one
In this day and age having children is made as difficult as possible and once you do have them, as miserable as possible, by design.
It's all by design. We don't have overpopulation.
Ok, sure. But I highly doubt most people regret having children. Almost NONE, in fact.
Absolutely! That’s my general response to those who say I’ll regret my decision not to have kids.
I'm divorced and 39 and my mother won't give it a rest! She doesn't understand I'm not having kids ever. I told her I'm not looking for a woman as they are pretty messed up these days in general, my Dad understands as he can see all the videos on social media from these modern women
As a an adult man who grow in a religious(real religious, not the western kind of religious) farmer family, abusive patriarchy, from a third-world country, the reason why people back then don't even question about procreation, in my opinion is that, who would help plow the field when you get older?, who will tend to your need when you get weaker? So if you are in a stable environment and conditions, I don't think grow family is really that matter, in fact, can make more trouble than good, your savings, etc..
I'm close to 41 and happy that I made the decision to not have children. All my life, everyone has told me that I'd make a great dad, and yes, I agree. I did want children up until 6 years ago. I'm just glad it didn't happen when I wanted to be a father. I cherish my peace, tranquility, and free time way too much.
As a life long introvert, having all that drama, noise, constant eventfulness, never having worthwhile free time, loss of tons of money, constant worry about the well being of my loved ones, being social by force so my child/children can have healthy mentalities, etc...would be a nightmare.
I'm an awesome uncle & great uncle. That's more than enough for me. I just feel bad for my mom. I'm her only child, and she always wanted, and I admit, she deserves to be a grandmother. The only reason my choice bothers me, is because of my mother. She's been so great in my life, even as an adult. My decision robs her of the happiness she deserves 😢
True but I bet she wants to see you happy and having kids when you didn’t want too she wouldn’t want that for you
Well it ain’t over yet. You’re 41 not 71. Still can make babies.
Nah. Your decision is your decision. She’s not entitled to grandchildren.
How can you be an uncle if you have no siblings?
@@user-mb3dx3nn5c 🤔🤔🤔
My parents fought constantly so I never wanted to risk replicating that scenario in my life. As I grew up my friends were getting divorced and having to pay child support. Just seems like more reasons to avoid it than not.
Yeah same here, they simply never stopped fighting, day & night, 24/7/365. I'm born 1960, parents circa 1930. I do see it as a blue collar, 10th grade educated, greatest / silent gen thing, everyone I knew as a kid, friends & family, same thing - totally abusive parents, to each other, to their kids. I had to get away from my parents when I went away to college, managed to live on my own from then on. Even coming home to visit for a day or 2, right back to the constant fighting, over the same old stupid trivial things for decades, every day, it would trigger feelings of extreme anxiety & depression - later on I figured out I literally have PTSD about my entire childhood, especially family gatherings & holidays, I still have PTSD about Christmas season, need to stay home alone all of December. Sad.
@@sideshowbob It sounds like you grew up in a warzone. Not surprised you have PTSD. My sympathies.
Same here.
@@sideshowbob WTF YOU "STAYING HOME ALONE" ALL DECEMBER IS 90% OF PEOPLE ARE AT HOME ALONE TROUGH MOST OF THE MONTH YOU CLOWN
A 50% divorce rate and that means hefty child support payments and a loss of your assets. Doesn't seem like very good odds. Not sure why anyone would even risk getting into that situation.
Whatever my ancestors did, it stops here.
“A mother for your children”.
That’s the key.
Who knows whose “children” they are?
Paternity can be proven through science nowadays.
I'll leave reproducing to those that desire to have a family or children. I'll be in my little corner of the world, enjoying my peace, quiet and comfort. We all die alone, whether you have family or not because our experience is our own, no one else's. Live life for yourself, ignore the rest. Peace and love.
Well said.
👍🏿
❤❤👍👍👍