Jordan Peterson: Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder
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- čas přidán 4. 05. 2018
- Jordan Peterson talks in this video about Borderline Personality Disorder. ORDER Peterson's NEW book & audiobook Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for life amzn.to/33uho7H Australians click here for Beyond Order: amzn.to/3qfSxOI
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This video comes from professor Peterson's: "B... Series VIII: The Phenomenology of the D..."
"They can tell you what the problem is and even tell you what the solution might be but there's no implementation"
Spot on
Altum Novo sad ☹️ must be frustrating for them
Why is this though.
Fuck nail right on the head this is my problem
@@henglish3398 Free-Will & what we feel consciousness is a illusion. The ego keeps us from see this, unless we make a cultural diagnosis "exception" for it.
It genuinely is, it is like hammered it almost in a soundbite, its just absolutely complex it makes you question.....why? nobody knows why not really even we dont.
I have BPD, and Jordan Peterson has inspired me greatly. A lot of what he has to say is painful to digest, but sometimes the truth is what we NEED to hear. It's painful to hear because it is so true. His explanation of attachment early in life has helped me better-understand my own behaviors. His parenting advice has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in dealing with my children in an appropriate, calmer manner. His philosophy on suffering and finding meaning in personal responsibility has changed my outlook. With this disorder, it's easy to believe everything you do is just a reaction to what happens to you. It's easy to assume the role of "the victim." Sometimes a label like BPD can be a catalyst to even more reckless behavior. It can easily become an excuse for misbehavior. Learning to take responsibility for my own behaviors and emotions has been HUGE for me. Treating myself like I matter has been HUGE. Getting better sleep and food has been helpful too. I'm not saying I no longer have the disorder, but I'm much more functional. Accepting the suffering of life helps me keep things in perspective. JP you are right about many things, but you'd be surprised to know how inspirational your talks have been to someone with BPD.
You saying that is doing something, though small, it's one step of many in the right direction!
Stay strong!!
😭😭
still the same
A lot of regressive belief systems revolve around "life is suffering" notion, which has a grain of truth in it, but tends to ignore "life is also joy" aspects and how those brief moments were always considered something to celebrate. This is why the 24-hour news cycle is such a destroyer, in my opinion. YES, there are ALWAYS bad things happening in the world, and with instant, global communication, they can bring those events to your living room. But that doesn't meant that's all that life is or that it's even the MAJORITY of what life is.
For centuries, Europeans believed that bathing was a sin and that fleas and lice were God's way of punishing us for our sinful ways.
It's not just frustrating to know someone with BPD, It's frustrating to have it. To know the solution and try and try and try and never be successful.
as do i - it is BEYOND frustrating
Our son had bpd. He was impulsive, and self- destructive. His worth fear was being abandoned but his behavior pushed people away. He was immensely talented as an artist. He died at 35 of a drug overdose. He was his own worse enemy. I miss him like crazy but I'm thankful he's no longer suffering. For anyone with a loved one with bpd, don't take their behavior personally. Get them to a therapist who uses dbt. Abilify was helpful to a degree. Lamictal is also useful. Don't give up on them. They need you to believe in them.
Omg I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for spreading this important message. Hopefully it helps diminish the stigma associated with bpd. I have bpd and am now, at 40 years old, a functional and happy human being. Never cured but in much less pain than I’ve ever been. Thanks again ❤
That describes me to a tee. I'm 34 and I'm currently dying from long term drug and alcohol addiction. I've never been happy, and take full responsibility for destroying any chance of any life.
It is horrendous, and I don't fear death, it is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry for your loss.
DBT is really an answer but requires some level of acceptance which is the crucial thing that determines whether you will improve or not.
I have BPD and was close to death because of coping self-destructively few times.
I knew what is wrong with me and what should I change I just didn't know how to apply it to myself, I knew how to apply it to others which unfortunately makes people think of you as a hypocrite.
That's because emotions override any logical thoughts you may have on the issue and you can separate them when dealing with other people's issues.
DBT teaches how to not achieve the point of emotional threshold that disables your critical thinking, how to resolve them aswell.
It's the best thing you could do but it takes a lot of time to reprogram.
I still don't feel like I'm done with the process even though I'm much better.
To anyone struggling:
- You can get better
- It takes time and colossal effort, you have no idea how long. You gotta tell yourself that it's possible because you will have automatic thoughts that it's pointless all the time during the process
- Accept what you are and that's not your fault, but your current behaviour is your fault and you can do something about it so go for it! You can feel good about yourself for trying.
My girlfriend has bpd but it has made her the most loving, kind person I have ever met. She has bad hours or bad days and needs a good, supportive partner but she is amazing! It's worth the bad days because I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend 90% of the time.
May I ask, are you still with her? I would have said the same of my BPD ex at one point, but she also subjected me to some horrible abuse
@joe-un1ky not anymore but it was mainly my fault to be honest. And that's not me feeling bad for myself it's true. Both made mistakes but me more so. But we are still in contact and she seems better now so there's hope
"Technically there's no relationship between I.Q and conscientiousness." I know this first hand. I've got a high I.Q but I'm far lazier than I want to be. I coasted through school and every single report I had was "has so much potential but wastes it." It makes it worse when you know this is true.
Sarah Daniels - I think there is a lot to be said to sticking to a set regimen like you are doing. I watched a video on the daily routine of Terry Crews and the guy gets shit done! It really made me contemplate my own habits (or lack thereof). I think I could really benefit with some sort of routine, other than simply showing up for work.
I'd go as far as saying that high I.Q. can be the reason for low conscientiousness. Intelligent kids are easy to handle, they don't get bad grades in school and generally don't require a lot of effort from the parents. So as long as things look okay, there are probably parents who just leave them to their own devices, like mine did. Which is the worst thing you can do to a child.
At least I have never had problems to keep my laziness away from my job, but that created another problem: since I get things quickly, and also get things done, my bosses, since the beginning of my "career", used to dump the more challenging tasks onto my desk. Half the time it's fun, but sometimes all I want is to blend in with my coworkers, dumb down, just do what everyone else does and find satisfaction in my free time.
I have a very low IQ (20) but my conscientiousness is about sigma 8 positive. Watch out!
paperEATER101 Dude, with an IQ like that, you wouldn't be able to figure out how to type, much less be able to spell "conscientiousness" correctly (as you just did) or know what the word means ;)
@@Volkbrecht whoosh...
My ex has BPD and was impossible to have a relationship, she became physically and mentally abusive...
My Partner displays all of these, she's a therapist yet comes home and makes my life hell sometimes , states she is unfit to be around and wouldn't put up with half I do. Maybe they just can't help it and I should move on, I have anxiety and palpitations now and sometimes think I'm going mad after 7 years together.
I am in social services and I have a theory that people who get into mental health fields start off looking for answers and then make it a career. This is good because it helps to know the demons that people are fighting. I also know many of my coworkers who have the tools to help people but can't apply it to themselves. BPD is a nightmare and Dr Peterson is spot on about it.
Gavin Christian Find a new girl and then break up, it's what they do. Women call it parachuting.
Should read The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg. Its very helpful with understanding and dealing with BPDs.
And I thought I was alone. Dated a therapist and she's bipolar. She wanted to have kids, no love, no friendship, no hobbies... She got physically aggressive with me after lots of bullying. My contact in the apartment ends in 8 months.
I have borderline personality disorder. It was hell on my kids and all my relationships. It seems to have disappeared after menopause
Sabin Acle Hell ya
Interesting...
You can completely change your personality by praying to God for the Holy Ghost to flow through you and make your life what it ought to be in the name of Jesus Christ. Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Titus 3:6 Which he shed on us abundantly through (the blood of) Jesus Christ our Saviour; 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. Please read the following paste which explains why all the evil in your life is for your good.
God is good and takes full responsibility for the creation of evil. Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. Proverbs 16:4 The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil. And God promises to completely remove evil. Nahum 1:9 What do ye imagine against the LORD? he will make an utter end: affliction shall not rise up the second time. Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Evil is temporarily necessary for us to have the free will necessary to create our own soul, personality, character. Evil and Hell are simply the absence of God. God = fiery, love, light, good, truth, life Deuteronomy 4:24 For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire... hell = fiery, hate, dark, evil, lies, death. 1 Corinthians 3:13 Every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire (God); and the fire shall try every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) of what sort it is. 1 Corinthians 3:14 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. 1 Corinthians 3:15 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself (spirit, mind, consciousness) shall be saved; yet so as by fire. 1 Peter 1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character), pass the time of your sojourning (temporary residence) here in fear: Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men (spirit, mind, consciousness) once to die (separate from God like Adam), but after this the judgment:(the Krisis of rejoining God) Revelation 20:14 And death (separation from God) and hell (negative God) were cast into the lake of fire (God). This is the second death. (separation from an evil soul, personality, character). Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire (God) and brimstone: which is the second death.(separation from an evil soul, personality, character) Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death (separation from God), neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. But Matthew 16:26 For what is a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)? or what shall a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) give in exchange for his soul (soul, personality, character)? Mark 8:36 For what shall it profit a man (spirit, mind, consciousness), if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)?
Kent Nauman thanks. Tried that. It didn’t work but I do love Jesus
Kent Nauman fuck religion
I’ve had BPD for 30 years. It ruined my life. I hope God will take me home soon. Tired.
I feel you man. BPD is absolute hell.
Same. ❤️
hard hey, best keeping our problems to ourselves and live rather than ruining others lives as i have learned im still trying to help ones ive ruined
I am 33 and only year ago seen change big enough I can say I'm almost doing fine.
Go for DBT and make it a routine to tell yourself positive things about yourself even if you don't really believe it. You cannot help person that you despise, first change what you say to yourself then you will have the ability to treat yourself good which in turn will make you happier and even that change would reduce your symptoms (less reasons to be anxious, act out, cope self-destructively).
Think of it: Why would you be better if you only heard how terrible you are, at some point you will believe it. Reversely you will eventually believe that you're worthy of love when you do the opposite.
Accepting misery is ensuring failure.
Never surrender, you can get better. It's fucking hard but it's possible.
I hope you have family or friends that have helped you and that you are doing better now.
The question ends at 1:07
Lmaooo
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I recently had to cut off a friendship with a guy because he kept threatening to kill himself and threatening me if he didn't get his way , I had a rough childhood too so I tried to have empathy but it just couldn't ... my ex boyfriend also had it but was such a pleasant loving person ... I know for a fact no two borderlines are the same ... it can look totally different in a variety of people affected by it .
I wonder how many "personality disorders" and mental illnesses are hormonal imbalances.
Technically, nearly all of them.
I suffer from bpd and hope to help connect with others who suffer too on my channel. Thankyou so much for being an advocate!
I can wake up one morning feeling extremely happy and creative and could make art works and music that would just flow out of my imagination. Then there are days I can wake up feeling like ending my life and be very critical and shitty and helpless and hopeless... I have been on anti depressants but hated how they made me feel.
So now I am just living it day by day with emotional ups and downs.
Lee how is it going now? Have the waves settled a bit? How do you manage the bad days?
I can theorize and plan but my impulsivity due to mental distress ruins my implementation.
I want to hear the rest of this!
As would I!
Me too
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@@fraustralian1 You're a legend. Thank you 🙏
Well one of those struck me like a ton of bricks. I can remember discussing with a friend the dynamics of my sister’s and my relationships with our husbands being that we are terrified of abandonment yet continually push our significant others to see if they will abandon us. Not consciously, of course, but that is what it is. Our mother left us when we were 10 & 11 years old. Disappeared in the middle of the night and left us with an abusive father. Growing up, she was in our lives every other weekend but she went on to create a new life with another man and have another child. Basically a new family. A separate family. That was 47 years ago. The trauma of that has not left us after all this time and, in fact, has been reinforced for decades by the obvious separateness of the two families of my mother. One with her husband and their child. One with my sister and I. I would love to say after so many years it has finally been resolved and we are one family now but that would be a lie. There were times that it started to come together but eventually my sister and I would be shown our place in the family hierarchy. Which is last and dead last. So the feelings of abandonment have never really left and have actually been reinforced over the years. She and I finally became aware of our mental quirk towards others about 20 years ago. Knowing and acknowledging it has made it easier to reign in those tendencies but they never really go away.
There is a good book that breaks it down into an easy read. Its called I HATE YOU, DONT LEAVE ME. Great title.
I've had BPD my whole life, what I assume from prolonged exposure to childhood trauma and neglect. Also high antisocial tendencies probably from the fact I wasn't socialised properly until first grade, and even then we changed address every year up until my teenage years so I never had a chance of forming any lasting bonds. I haven't seen my father since I was 9 since they divorced before I was born, and I was abandoned by my mother and stepdad at the age of 16. Lived on the streets for a few years, in and out of hostels, became a heavy drug addict for 2 years, managed to beat addiction by sheer will power. Also managed to defeat a bad case of schizophrenia, severe depression, and anger management issues in that time too (I was diagnosed and aided by a psychiatric hospital). now I'm 25 and live in a house share with a hand-to-mouth job. I attempted suicide twice just to end the suffering but was saved by strangers each time. I wish I could get rid of my BPD and have a normal life. What I wouldn't give to live a life that most take for granted...
Never give up. With your backstory and will power i think you can be one of the few who gets out of it :) are u lifting weights or doing sports?
@@wernerbro3208 Hey! Thank you for your encouragement. So when I wrote this comment I had just signed up to college again by getting a loan, because I always wanted to do it but never had the chance to get back to studying due to financial reasons. The whole covid thing really worked in my favour, because of the UK government's 'furlough' scheme I didnt have to go to work but I still got paid 80% of my wages. This meant I didn't have to cut my hours down in order to attend college, because I couldn't afford to do that as I needed the money. So I finished my college with a Distinction earlier this year and right now I am in the process of moving to another city as I have been accepted to the university for the course I really want. It's going to be a big change, and it still feels like a dream, a very nerve wracking, scary dream, but if I don't do something now I will never be able to get out of this vicious circle. So I'm going to try with everything I have. Dr Jordan Peterson has played a big part in this new flame I have for life.
I feel like this is good insight and I dont want to share this with others. But really everyone else is watching this. And gaining the same benefits
I have BPD and an IQ of 132. I’m highly insightful into BPD and do EXACTLY what he said. I can tell you how and why I do what I do but I can never implement it for very long. Although, I think it’s generally hard for most people to break maladaptive coping & ingrained beliefs/habits. Now add to that a person low in contentiousness and an overactive amygdala (fight or flight). It makes it extremely difficult.
I can give the beat advice & insight but the moment painful emotions are activated (rejection of any kind especially), it overrides my logic. It practically shuts it down.
I’ve never been sure why BPD is considered the female version of anti social personality disorder by some. It’s outdated and an old school of thought. Most BPDs have a ton of empathy and are almost hyper aware of others feelings. We have trouble with interpersonal relationships due to a very anxious attachment style (we want connection but are terrified of it.) While I’m sure we can appear selfish at times that goes for many with mental illness (depression, anxiety ect) as we live in our own head & are in survival mode
Also want to state, I don’t rage or have explosive anger that is stereotypical of BPD. I turn my rage inward onto myself, not onto others. I meet 7 out of the 9 criteria for BPD (you need 5 to be diagnosed with BPD.) Many call this BPD the “quiet BPD.” but a fairly decent percentage of people diagnosed with BPD do not display that rage.
My friend has a PHD in psychology and she told me BPD being classified as a personality disorder is controversial within the psychology community because many believe it should be classified in trauma related mental illness. This is due to almost all cases of BPD having significant and ongoing trauma in the critical years from infancy to 5 years old. This trauma usually involves the primary caregiver thus traumatized attachment. Combine that with a predisposition to a sensitive temperament & it’s likely BPD will develop in adulthood or at least manifest BPD traits.
Krystina Rossi at least we know now, and can see, that with long term treatment, people can and do get much much better
Your Cluster B counterparts beg to differ about affective empathy or cognitive empathy, most of these people have co-morbidity with NPD. You seem to be the exception to the rule because of your self awareness. Also, if 90% of the population is complaining about having being treated in the worst way possible, it says alot about DSM-5 spectrum. I feel bad for the self aware but I have no compassion for those that hurt others.
Ross Rosenberg's work is helpful when dealing with BPDs.
YES to the second one!!!!!! Jordan I have a million questions.
I was diagnosed with bpd over a decade ago. Only realised quite recently this was wrong and i actually have cptsd. They share many of the same traits. The label of borderline destroyed me for years.
The exact same thing happened to me, first BPD diagnosis then CTPSD wish i knew earlier
Absolutely true! Young men and in particular young men with BPD gravitate towards Jordan Peterson, I don’t know what it is. My brother loves Jordan Peterson and im also pretty sure he has BPD
Question. Did your brother grow up with or without a father figure or his own father?
@@brytanniparrettI've been diagnosed with ADHD, but I strongly identify with the criteria for BPD. I grew up without a father figure or own father? What sorts of therapies work?
whoa this explains it exactly.omg
Please I need the video that the guy said about, that Jordan was in livestreame. Or any other video of Jordan that talks about BPD
My mother had BPD; it became less intense when she was older. Her raging paranoia and screaming was horrific, it would stop days later out of nowhere, she'd take a couple very deep breaths and "Doctor Jekyll" returned, and the two personalities seemed to be content with one another. Several times she packed her bags, looked at us crying at her ready to leave and she'd look back at all her children with nothing in her eyes but absolute hatred. Then an hour later unpack and act like nothing happened. It's almost like her entire frontal lobe would shut down, or she was in a steroid-induced rage. Her other senses also became enhanced, she would yell to turn the TV down or smell things much more sharply, especially with paranoia wondering what you were doing or where you were going. But nobody else could see the transformation and children are stuck in the household, hiding and shivering in a psychological corner, trying to stay grounded.
If I tried to explain this (especially to women) they would roll their eyes, thinking I was making fun of "that time of month". But my elderly sister has repeatedly said it was _NOT_ PMS.
I know this is an old comment, but I can’t help but relate to this so much. My mother also did all of those things, packing up and leaving, inconsolable paranoid rages, a lot of unknowns in my childhood of if I was going to be screamed at/ slapped/ have things thrown at me/ have to wrestle with her so she doesn’t down a bottle of pills or try to stab herself - or if I would have my regular mother who loved so strongly with all her heart. I truly feel for you, being forced to walk on eggshells, be hyper vigilant, and coping with emotional detachment all throughout your formative years has such long lasting and destructive effects. It’s truly an insidious form of abuse that goes unchecked and unnoticed.
What really stood out to me though, is that I’ve never heard of anyone else mentioning the heightened sensitivity! She would always complain of any smells or sounds, to the point they could trigger migraines in her. I never made the correlation to her BPD for some reason.
Thank you so much for sharing. Although I don’t wish BPD abuse upon anyone, i’m so glad you had your sister alongside you to weather out that storm. I also have sisters, and I couldn’t imagine a child having to suffer through that all on their own. I hope you’re in a much better place now ❤️
I think this behavior stems from traumatic events. I have seen these same traits in someone close to me. The heightened hearing and smell would help in learning if someone came in intoxicated or smelled of alcohol if they had bad experiences in the past. They are put on fight or flight mode, and in doing so, makes everyone around them walk on eggshells to not trigger them.
I actually get very tired of some blaming every outburst of emotion from a woman on PMS as if that is the only reason for a woman to behave in such ways. It's lazy and oversimplifying complex real life issues.
Jesus Christ he literally described my girlfriend perfectly. I don’t know how to help her...
My ex girlfriend has really really bad bpd and the only thing that made anything better was leaving her. She just couldn’t change and trying to help her change only fucked me up in the process. Unless you can see clear signs of long term change then your best bet is to end things sorry man
@@w12337 Fucking hell I know... I just love her so much, even after 8 months since I made that comment things are just getting worse
@@waltz9230 don’t worry man I can empathise, took me ages and ages before I could have the strength to leave, loving someone that much is no joke. Wishing the best for you brother❤️
She needs to want to help herself
@@LordMarvin1993 That is so true. She doesn't want to though. She doesn't think she has it and gets very irritated when I mention it (which is rarely)
People with BPD (I've known 2: two attractive & gifted women) have deep needs because of an utterly jarring abandonment pain. It is impossible not to have compassion for them when their suffering shows itself.
I came to the conclusion that constant professional help (with DBT group) and a supportive family & a circle of close friends and most importantly of all a deep personal faith in the power & love of God (note: the Catholic teaching of Redemptive Suffering is a powerful interior transformational "tool" if you can get them to tell you about it): that these are the only way to help these people and draw from the great gifts they can give to other people.
Otherwise you ll have great sadness & damage if this condition is left unacknowledged.
thanks
The expert is Marsha Linehan: She developed the groundbreaking science and skills therapies for BPDs to actually overcome BPD. She is the person to ask about this topic.
Any links or aticles to the congnitve behavioural therapys on BPD he spoke of at the end?
mezzuna DBT. It works very well on borderliners. I know. I am one
mezzuna behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/
Really love the thumbnail for the video, reminds me of a Two Face or Yin and Yang. Never heard of Borderline Personality Disorder before no. Seems like people who are disconnected from others because of something serious that has happened in their life and who find it really hard to mix with others because of it. Doesn't mean that they're not able to, just means it's not likely that it'll happen. It's probably where serious introversion comes from.
I can't speak for others, but I was abused pretty regularly and socially neglected at a young age when it mattered too.
borderline is not introversion. borderlines can have friends be extremely outgoing, hold court etc etc etc. they just can't ever trust you or accept love from you.
The problem of our society is that it requires same from everybody and it’s also highly individualistic. In society we need different people. Maybe some are good at finding issues and ideas - but not implementing them. Some are good at implementing but don’t have the bigger picture or problem solving right. There should be more collaborations.
It seems like BPD’s have problems with executive functions, so as some other conditions like ADHD. Would be interesting to know if they hsve some problems in prefrontal cortex. If anyone has studied it.
I have lot of trauma from my BPD father’s chaos, also dissocistion after dealing with him. 😢 And when I get the dissociation I feel lot of numb pressure on my prefrontal cortex. When I finally recover the pressure and dissociation is gone.
One forms of the abuse in my childhood was that my BPD father severly restricted my movement and activity when I was a child. I had to sit still and quite for hours in a row! 😢😢😢 I believe that has severly damaged my action orientation, possibly also made prefrontal cortex under developed. I have understood my father was treated same way. As his family was refugees their mom was always super scared to loose them. So it might be this is a form of generstionsl trauma. We feel unsafe to take action. And this usually more of female problem than male problem, as women have been taught to be invisible, take orders, sit still and be quiet. That very propably destroys the executive function and effects the prefrontal cortex negatively.
Dr. Peterson! Yes, you DO know what causes this disconnect in the frontal lobe, the inability to implement the good ideas. As children, we were “punished for doing something good. “
You have talked about this very briefly in many videos, but I have never heard you expand on it. You talk about the damage that is done when you punish someone for doing something good. This is a paraphrase, but you said, “If you want to REALLY punish somebody, then punish them for doing something good.” You implied that that would have extreme consequences.
Many of us grew up with highly stressed and highly critical parents, who were always angry, no matter what we did- and especially as small children, we were desperately trying to please them. They were effectively punishing us for doing something good. I think that might be the reason so many of us have developed a reflexive reaction to implementing things, even if they are good ideas and we know it. It’s like a PTSD response.
You can help them by understanding them in difficult times. Responding with love when it's hardest to give, because that's when they need it the most. Validating every worthwhile behavior and quality and appreciating every effort they make to help themselves.
Is it one of those internet things that will tell you that you have ALL diseases possible or am I the only person here that finds every single point 100% accurate
11 ATK yeah everyone is unstable to some degree. It‘s just when chaos breaks out totally and too frequently, things can get unbearable, usually in the beginning only for your surroundings.
Many men have been ruined by a BPD chick who idealized then devalued them
Story of my last relationship. If you can even call it that. Luckily it was only 2 months. But she was obsessed with me which I fell for. Then out of no where cut things off with barely any reason as to why she came to the decision. It wasn’t until I realized she had BPD that recently I came to some closure.
And many women have been ruined by a BPD dude too.
Yes!
This is totally me right now. I just had my first relationship ever and this girl I was dating went completely crazy a few weeks after our 2nd anniversary. She did so much fucked up shit to me and i'll never be the same. Everything was was in the relationship. We were best friends and did everything together. Went a cruise together and almost lived together. Out of nowhere she just dropped me for a random guy and claimed that this new person was so much better than I will ever be. I tried my hardest to be the best boyfriend I could be. Man that fucking hurt me so much to wake up to all that just randomly one day. I'll never be the same. Shit has changed me forever. My attitude, mental health, my dreams, ideas and everything about me has changed. After all that heartbreak, i'm a completely different person that I was at the start of that relationship. I hate to admit it, but i've been ruined by a BPD chick. That was my first relationship ever and if that is what relationships are, I want no part of that. I've been in hospitals and had many surgerys and operations done, but nothing was anywhere close to the pain i experienced with this breakup.
And most people with bpd have been ruined by childhood abuse and often then (one way or two way) abusive adult relationships two. Don't get me wrong people with bpd are incredibly difficult to be with until they get help but that's the point they need help. They're a million times more unhappy than they're making other people in their lives. That doesn't make their behaviour towards others ok but it's worth considering what that must be like. That and you have the choice to walk away from it, they don't. It's a bit much to suggest that someones mental illness is affecting you more than them. It's also worth saying that people with bpd rarely get into relationships with completely healthy, stable people either. Chaotic and/or abusive people tend to attract each other, I'm willing to bet most ex's whining on the internet about their bpd ex probably aren't the completely innocent victims they claim to be.
@@thedarkness111 Victim blaming are you??
What sorts of therapies work on BPD? The video cuts off before he says anything.
Nothing really works, medication can alleviate codependent symptoms like depression or anxiety. Some people maintain that cognitive behavioral therapy has had some positive effects but not in all cases.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy works but it takes >1yr hard commitment and therapist supervision
My mother in Law, her grand daughter both have bpd. The great grand daughter now 8 beginning to resemble behaviorally like her mother. We have raised her since birth. Its possible hereditary pre disposition can enable bpd just my observation.
This fills me with such horror and absolute dread, because I have been wondering what's wrong with me for 31 years and here he lays it out flat and stark naked in its bleakness. If even Jordan Peterson thinks that I'm essentially hopeless, then the best thing I can do to prevent undue suffering is to quietly disappear. God help me.
So what he thinks 🤔...choose to build and not destroy and maybe the doctors and stuff know TOO MUCH that they know nothing and they don't understand the damage they do either so annoying but nonetheless love u plz keep strong not hopeless
He did say its not a very well known disorder. Plus I have a few of these as well but not regularly at all.
I have thrown 3 "tantrums" total in my adult life, it was pathetic and ridiculous and I was in so much pain. I realized it wasn't helping me or anyone I loved. So I started scribbling in a notebook when I got angry. I always knew why i was angry so I began articulating it to whomever I was angry at in a calm manner. "I feel angry because deep down I feel very hurt and betrayed about how you lied to me."
I have wasted potential. Mostly because when I'm in a new situation and I cant yet process my evaluations of the atmosphere my mind blanks out. Like all knowledge is gone, until i get re engaged. Im also quite a shy person.
I do not feel I struggle with my self identity but I also feel overall I cannot explain who I am but I have these thoughts and these beliefs that I have built myself around and every now and then it will change.
I did have abandonment issues when my mother constantly threatened to leave because I was too much to handle and my step father did abandon me but now in my current life if I feel something is going iI will ask and sometimes the person has gone but I have accepted it peacefully.
This is scary, I already have aspergers and now this. How will I find a job after I move out.
Reading strategy books, although the outlook is bleak. You may want to focus your livelihood to study finance, to be able to hone aggressiveness for personal productivity, and pursue it.
You also need to balance out your nutrition, because you are probably eating a high carb diet and are carb sensitive during those outbursts or times were you have murderous rage or emotions in general, controlling diet helps maanage that.
Also, get yourself responsible to a consistent schedule to help curtail poor impulse control.
I've been on a low carb cycle diet, 3 days low carb, 1 day high for 3 years now without literally any cheat meals including holidays, and i have found i am much less evil to people i never want to push away in the first place but do so almost automatically out of fear. Hormones play a big part so manage your diet to get the balance equilibrium.
BPD runs in my mothers side, her dad from what i know was a extremely violent alcoholic, my mother had extreme bouts of rage which i inherited genetically and also probably learned from her. I've watched my aunts and uncles on her side (at least 3/4 of them) also exhibit these in family social situations showing impulsive actions. I am very charismatic, however, i find sometimes i get my hopes up in relationships just to be dumped due to my own clingy behavior.
I have serious, serious issues but diet has helped alot, as has mood control medication and ritalin to improve my focus. As well as scheduling out my daily weekly and monthly goals.
It's very very hard to keep up, but you just have to do it. Ask others to keep you accountable and help you.
You might not have BPD. Asperger's symptoms does have some overlap
You can completely change your personality by praying to God for the Holy Ghost to flow through you and make your life what it ought to be in the name of Jesus Christ. Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Titus 3:6 Which he shed on us abundantly through (the blood of) Jesus Christ our Saviour; 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. Please read the following paste which explains why all the evil in your life is for your good.
God is good and takes full responsibility for the creation of evil. Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. Proverbs 16:4 The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil. And God promises to completely remove evil. Nahum 1:9 What do ye imagine against the LORD? he will make an utter end: affliction shall not rise up the second time. Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Evil is temporarily necessary for us to have the free will necessary to create our own soul, personality, character. Evil and Hell are simply the absence of God. God = fiery, love, light, good, truth, life Deuteronomy 4:24 For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire... hell = fiery, hate, dark, evil, lies, death. 1 Corinthians 3:13 Every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire (God); and the fire shall try every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) of what sort it is. 1 Corinthians 3:14 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. 1 Corinthians 3:15 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself (spirit, mind, consciousness) shall be saved; yet so as by fire. 1 Peter 1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character), pass the time of your sojourning (temporary residence) here in fear: Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men (spirit, mind, consciousness) once to die (separate from God like Adam), but after this the judgment:(the Krisis of rejoining God) Revelation 20:14 And death (separation from God) and hell (negative God) were cast into the lake of fire (God). This is the second death. (separation from an evil soul, personality, character). Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire (God) and brimstone: which is the second death.(separation from an evil soul, personality, character) Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death (separation from God), neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. But Matthew 16:26 For what is a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)? or what shall a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) give in exchange for his soul (soul, personality, character)? Mark 8:36 For what shall it profit a man (spirit, mind, consciousness), if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)?
Kent Nauman go fuck yourself
11 ATK mind as well give up
A psychopath and a psychologist that will challenge them will turn them around. They need a mirror (psychopath) and a psychologist who’ll press their fears incrementally.
Ann G7 actually grouped therapy with others diagnosed with it is enough, no need to utilize psychopaths who tend to prey on these people already. Safe, longterm, consistent therapy DBT helps these people
hahaa kindergarden was a nightmare. "hi this is Felix. He bites"
.. oh FF
If you have BPD, you need to stop watching CZcams, and you REALLY need to get off social media. You need a real doctor who can do DBT. One of the main things that is happening to you is that you cannot understand people's intentions. Videos of people talking will only confuse you more. This video is for people who do NOT have BPD.
Dude lol 😂
What the heck ?
@@conniefahey6469 He's right. Social media is killer for people with BPD. They're going to come out with studies like 100 years-post social media showing how much it's deteriorated people with mental health vulnerabilities like BPD. It exacerbates them. The real work is in DBT and regular therapy.
Can confirm. I struggle SO MUCH to understand people's intentions. I assume the worst almost always. It is Hell, for both me and the people I love.
Lol Dr. P never say it will never happen, Becauze I'll say "we'll be there shortly". What I would say iz "We're still wating on "A" Dr to get here."
I was diagnosed earlier today and having trouble accepting it
Any better a few months on Cam? What techniques or strategies are you using?
Any bpd ppl who succeed with dbt here?? Pls comment
Helped alot
Yes.
As someone who has a recent diagnosis of unstable personality disorder and borderline traits I don't feel that he gives enough credit to how hard we are actually trying to help ourselves and he does not acknowledge anyone with this condition that has succeeded. Which I disagree with as I have achieved some level of personal success and am really applying myself. He's a smart and insightful man I'll give him that but I think a lot of what he says is based on personal opinion.
Jordan Lucke , Nah he was spot on. I had a BPD girlfriend and she acted exactly what he said. Just watch Paul Elan's video of how to spot a Borderline to a more accurate description.
Aluisio Fernandes da Silva Junior I agree with a lot of what he says yes but as someone who suffers from this condition in my opinion he is not acknowledging anyone who has it and has been able to stabilise their life and achieve any sort of success which is completely wrong
I think borderline personality disorder types in men are people who typically have incredible charisma, because they have to control their emotions constantly , and thus by consequence are very aware of emotions in others as well in general.
The problem is developing responsibility and strategies to hold oneself accountable, to harness the high iq that these types have, with incredibly high perceptive and manipulative tendencies to get there way.
These types realize early on that they can access their shadow at will and harness it for evil, so they have to restrain that impulse
Jordan Lucke just because you have a diagnosis doesn’t mean it’s accurate. Not all doctors are good you know.
Aluisio Fernandes da Silva Junior I am BPD. He describes me to a tee.
I call that 'brain 🧠 Jam'...
surely SOMETHING can be done
delmanglar DBT
mental health screenings and income requirements before procreating to make sure kids aren't raised by abusive impoverished assholes that commonly leads to personality disorders (which are commonly residual PTSD)
I know plenty of borderlines and my mother is the worst, she is not diagnosed and freaks out screaming if bpd is even mentioned. Beyond the most difficult people and even if you are possibly able to get them to admit they have bpd then they just use that to excuse away their actions and shift the blame in their endlessly repeated cycles....
then she's more narcissistic than borderline.. don't lump us together, it's the narcissists who don't know what they are and therefore would never try to change
When the structure of the problem is interesting, but "implementing the solution" is boring... one enjoys contemplating the solution, and completely not motivated at "doing" the solution.
what is rewarding - is enforced in brain.
Totally disagree here. My X was very socialized growing up but his mom was abusive. He has extreme borderline and narcissistic behaviors. Very abusive. I think it has more to do with the basic personality plus abuse of some sort. Just my experience.
Krissy Hamilton personality is formed in the first 5 years of life
It’s just words you probably agree
I was abused a lot, as were my parents, my mom is especially a covert narcissist. She's a MAJOR narcissist, and my dad I honestly think is a textbook ASPD but not the kind that was in and out of jail, just an abusive asshole who we were taught to keep a secret about so as not to bring any (narcissistic shame) upon our family
here is the complete lecture czcams.com/video/UoQdp2prfmM/video.htmlh3m31s
sooo how easy is it to perform a brain surgetry on oneself?
sounds like me
free movies
No implementation
BPD is not the female equivalent of Anti Social personality disorder, men get BPD as I have it myself & if you are curios of this disorder, please bare in mind that not everything he says is completely accurate & he doesnt even go into the fact that BPD effects men differently to the way it effects women. This disorder is a much broader spectrum than he describes and although some of the things he points out may be correct, alot of this is his opinion, and doing more researcher on the disorder will absolutely make this apparent to you
MACHU 3196 Agreed Sir...well said.
Can you supply specific about the way it affects men differently than women. I am thinking its emotional dysregulation.
In the VICE doco on bare knuckle boxing in the UK, there was a young man who was diagnosed with BPD on the show
He had the same tendencies, VERY emotionally unstable, self-harming, the root cause was thought to be early childhood sexual trauma that he clearly recalled happening while he lived in a foster home
MACHU 3196 for every ten female BPD diagonsis, there is one in males. Historically, and clinically, BPD is mainly a female developmental disorder.
Miki Odendahl This is because women are more likely to seek help. When doing a demographic, women are the ones that have come forward. Men are unreported.
My wife has this and it's hell at times living hell.
Booty Juice get a divorce
Look into Ross Rosenberg's work. Especially his book the Human Magnet Syndrome.
It's like a living nightmare. Every discussion is like a pulling a tooth. Communication is impossible. It's like living with a time bomb, and you never know when the fuse will go off.
How sad
For both of you
Apart from having temper Tantrums I'm it
I think i have it !
Same, especially the part about understanding vs actual implementation..
You can completely change your personality by praying to God for the Holy Ghost to flow through you and make your life what it ought to be in the name of Jesus Christ. Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Titus 3:6 Which he shed on us abundantly through (the blood of) Jesus Christ our Saviour; 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. Please read the following paste which explains why all the evil in your life is for your good.
God is good and takes full responsibility for the creation of evil. Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. Proverbs 16:4 The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil. And God promises to completely remove evil. Nahum 1:9 What do ye imagine against the LORD? he will make an utter end: affliction shall not rise up the second time. Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Evil is temporarily necessary for us to have the free will necessary to create our own soul, personality, character. Evil and Hell are simply the absence of God. God = fiery, love, light, good, truth, life Deuteronomy 4:24 For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire... hell = fiery, hate, dark, evil, lies, death. 1 Corinthians 3:13 Every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire (God); and the fire shall try every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) of what sort it is. 1 Corinthians 3:14 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. 1 Corinthians 3:15 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself (spirit, mind, consciousness) shall be saved; yet so as by fire. 1 Peter 1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character), pass the time of your sojourning (temporary residence) here in fear: Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men (spirit, mind, consciousness) once to die (separate from God like Adam), but after this the judgment:(the Krisis of rejoining God) Revelation 20:14 And death (separation from God) and hell (negative God) were cast into the lake of fire (God). This is the second death. (separation from an evil soul, personality, character). Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire (God) and brimstone: which is the second death.(separation from an evil soul, personality, character) Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death (separation from God), neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. But Matthew 16:26 For what is a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)? or what shall a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) give in exchange for his soul (soul, personality, character)? Mark 8:36 For what shall it profit a man (spirit, mind, consciousness), if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)?
How can I trust what you say is the truth?
Demand of God that He prove Himself to you and transform you into how you should be! Jeremiah 33:3 Call unto me, and I WILL ANSWER THEE, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. 1 Kings 19:12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire A STILL SMALL VOICE. Deuteronomy 13:4 Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, AND OBEY HIS VOICE, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him. John 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
I don't understand?
Madonna said enough about Borderlines.
My father has very strongly BPD and he has Mensa top intelligeence, so it’s interesting he pointed that out. And I can confirm also that he doeesn’t put aanything in action, he’s collapsed totally into in action - he lays on sofa and calcultes maths. And gives orders. I didn’t know before that BPD’s are intelligent. My father has lot of theoretical intelligence but zero emotional regulation and indepence. What I disagree is that they’d be female.
Wow wow wow. He should of paused and repeat about consciousnesses and intellect.
I don't know how anyone with BPD could get any help from this guy. If anyone was ever black and white about an issue. Just like us with BPD
Why does this sound like me.
Describes my ex too. With the exception that he is also a religious bigot. Makes it a BILLIONNNN times worse as I tried to (not proud of this by the way) change myself to be more religious to make it work out of like last minute panic… nvm what a shit story. Lol
Can you diagnose your own personality disorder, Peterson?
Well he didn't say anything about diagnosis or its features. If anyone is interested Google "Otto kernberg borderline personality organisation". Much of what he said is clinically inaccurate and conjecture at best.
soumyajit sanyal “conjecture at best” your qualifications and experience must be impressive?
My ex had BPD. I’d say that everything he said was spot on. If you want diagnostic criteria, then google it.
Exactly what I was thinking mainly opinion based
I dunno, he described a life devestating relationship I was in to a fault. Right down to her intellect. She is one of the smartest people I've ever met, and her wits are criminally wasted. Other women I've been close to have been the equivalent of children to converse with in comparison.
Well he was wrong from the get go wasn't he. Im a man witb BPD and it is not the female equivelant of Anti Social personality disorder, it is a completely different diagnosis?
There's a guy, I forget his name, who argues that addiction is caused solely by a desperate attempt to escape pain. Maybe mental disorders are too - a response to the raw existential crisis we call life, and the endless emotional turmoil that goes with it. What if emotions themselves have a cumulative, damaging effect on brain chemistry?
I think the guy asking the question has a Screw loose. Just ask a direct question.
Hate people who ask questions that ramble on, and on, and on. And on. And on... WTF? You're not giving the lecture, doofus! And why is it so dark?
Marley Von Hoffstein try not to have a tantrum over what you don't understand.
He was giving context to the question to help communicate what it was he wanted to ask.
Why don't you cry about it
Capitalism etc. etc. - Well, he could have done that in half the time using half the words, and shorter words, instead of boring everyone stiff and looking like a pretentious twat.
Brian D. White - Oh, I understood it alright, I just wanted him to get to the point before the next Ice Age.
why is it yanks cant say there words proberly . ask not axs
I've witnessed an 80 yo bpd woman stomp her feet and throw her fists--so weird to watch!
What I’ve observed with borderlines is that they’re often pathologically competitive, to the point of constantly changing personas to one up others. They have personas not fully developed personalities much less any kind of an identity. I completely disagree with them having a higher than average IQ. They can feign intellect but it’s usually nothing more than memorizing and regurgitating information to impress someone they currently idolize. These are absolutely not deep thinkers, independent thinkers, or rational thinkers.
I do totally agree however, with everything said as far as the tantrums and the parents failing to socialize these immature and impulsive people. It’s how antisocial personality expresses itself in (mostly) females.
It doesn’t help that many with BPD and APD abuse drugs, alcohol, and yes their psych meds causing their brains to go in and out of rage states. The majority of people in jails and prisons have personality disorders or at least a fair amount of their traits. It’s very sad.
As a former psych nurse and a current corrections nurse I wish that providers would stop trying to medicate those with BPD and APD. I have not once seen those types of patients use their medication properly. These people become very very unstable and dangerous to themselves and others when in a medication induced mania or addicted.
M S I have BPD. A set of learning skills called DBT worked well on me after two years in group
You talk complete and utter shit & should take a long hard look at your perspective
Spot on. Your observations of these people is 100% correct. DBT along with mentoring programs can work for these people. These people need advocates not jails and institutions its too late when it reaches that stage. This disorder is serious and can become dangerous.
Sabin Acle Yes. DBT is the gold standard and should be utilized more.
MACHU 3196 From the looks of your profile I’d say you’re about 12. You have zero experience or education regarding this. You’re the one who needs to look hard at your perspective. My god that Justin Bieber playlist of your is all I need to know about
you. ꉂ ꋧ(⁎ˊ̭ સˆ̀)◞₎̵₎
First
Take your simple mind elsewhere; you have no business here...
Supercalafragiclisticexpealidohcioussshh
Let's just call it what it is " EVIL SPIRITS" the more we deny it and call it by any other name , people will continue to suffer and be Tormented by these Spirits.... just Get Deliverance and Repent / Turn from your Sins , and Follow Christ so you can receive the Fruit of the Spirit > Joy , Peace , and much much more ....NO RELIGION JUST TRUTH ! www.motivatingU2win.com
Maybe BPD is wrongly diagnosed, and its really just fetal alcohol syndrome.
This guy sounds like Kermit the Frog
holy fuck your so original! go play in traffic you oxygen thief
Super Fata there’s no other comments on this video that say what I said... maybe you should use your eyes
*clap*.........*clap*......*clap*....... Get off the internet.
Super Fata I haven’t even seen any of his other videos
If that´s true you were just unlucky, I guess, looking like a classic Jordan Peterson troll commenter. (And he DOES sound a little like Kermit, after all)
How can anyone be "borderline"? You either have a personality or you don't. It needs a better name.
The word "borderline " here is meant to describe the borderline between psychosis and neurosis, that's why it's called that. Kind of a silly name imo, but that's what it is.
Reverse brain syndrome is what i call it!
In a counterpart to the DSM somewhere else, Europe or East Asia but I can't remember which, it's called Emotional Instability Disorder.