What to do if you think someone is avoiding you

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  • čas přidán 16. 12. 2013
  • You should never keep approaching this person and barrage them with texts or emails, because then it makes you look desperate. Instead, ask him/her what it is that you said or did. And if she comes out and tells you, that is a good sign. That means she thinks the relationship is worth saving. At that point, you need to admit if you did something wrong and apologize. But if she denies there is anything wrong, it could be that the friendship/relationship is over in her mind. And that could have nothing to do with you. It could mean her life has changed and she wants to change her friends. You don't know. Just take a step back and distance yourself a little. Be friendly and polite, but that's it. The ball is in her court. Maybe three, six months down the road send an email, just to see how she is doing. And to keep the lines of communication open. Down the road, things could change, and she could look back at the situation objectively. But don't try too hard. It makes you look anxious and desperate. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
    Marie Dubuque is a life coach who loves to give advice on everything from dating dilemmas and tricky social situations to drama-filled friendships and romantic relationships gone south!
  • Jak na to + styl

Komentáře • 310

  • @GranTube
    @GranTube Před 2 lety +36

    "Once you feel you are avoided by someone never disturb them again" - Buddha

  • @reesedaniel5835
    @reesedaniel5835 Před 6 lety +96

    One thing I've noticed with everyone is that if you speak the Truth on ANY SUBJECT, they will shun and avoid you if they are fake. I say let em go. I refuse to compromise my Truth in favor of their phony existence.

    • @aspeltaofkush3540
      @aspeltaofkush3540 Před 5 lety +13

      Reese Daniel Yes, absolutely! If you’re an honest and direct person, they will definitely avoid you.

    • @rakhil1830
      @rakhil1830 Před 3 lety +10

      Yup I noticed that, people are fickle, many people have a low self esteem and can’t handle the truth or feel that they are lesser than you. I can’t be everyone’s psychologist and dumb myself down to make others feel better about them selves.

    • @lukehart7225
      @lukehart7225 Před 3 lety

      @@rakhil1830 it sounds a bit like myself, I feel I have low self-esteem and I reckon people don’t wanna hurt my feelings, but sometimes I want people-to do it..

    • @lukehart7225
      @lukehart7225 Před 3 lety +2

      Sometimes l feel l do act phony to be honest, because I don’t want to hurt people.. or say what’s on my mind

    • @InduCute
      @InduCute Před 2 lety +1

      Yes it happend to me yesterday
      I met someone and it was so jolly
      I told a little about my family and bf
      And I can't even seem to see that person
      This is what happend in little truth
      I guess that person deserves to go

  • @evlish8771
    @evlish8771 Před 5 lety +88

    If you're being avoided then the best thing to do would be letting go of that person and moving on. That's what I'm doing!

    • @PardonMyFlyness
      @PardonMyFlyness Před 5 lety +15

      smart girl. never ever beg for anyone's validation. and make sure not to accept their apologies 5 yrs later. just reply thanks and move on if they contact you lol

    • @coolsplash9937
      @coolsplash9937 Před 5 lety +3

      It's impossible to let go

    • @TheSianmarie74
      @TheSianmarie74 Před 3 lety

      What if they are family?

    • @li-an7700
      @li-an7700 Před 3 lety

      damn what if you still like that person who avoids you?

    • @sreenathy3145
      @sreenathy3145 Před 3 lety

      @@li-an7700 let them know if u really think it’s worth it, if not then don’t, they could be super shy and don’t want to say anything to you

  • @teeahtate
    @teeahtate Před 7 lety +138

    I agree. It is best to lay low. I really believe people 'know' when they are avoiding you and are doing it for a reason. There is nothing you can do about it. You can't force someone to like and want to be around you. It hurts when you see the person you like show affection to others but are cold to you. That is even more proof to let it go because the cold-shoulder treatment will just get worst. Save yourself from further pain by cutting your losses and moving on.

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Před 6 lety +24

      I honeslty believe satan uses these people to insert daggers into your heart. I see no other reason for their evil behavior. The Bible says in the last days the "love of many will grow cold." Looks like we are here, folks. I can't even get my teenage daughter to show me respect.

    • @RM_80
      @RM_80 Před 5 lety +1

      teeahtate ouch

  • @walterm5298
    @walterm5298 Před 5 lety +44

    I wouldn't revisit the friendship. If they come back, I show them my middle finger, and walk away. You walk out on me, you're not allowed back in!

    • @jeremyarroyo360
      @jeremyarroyo360 Před 5 lety +6

      My godfather taught me people who want to come back in and out your life are untruct worthy. O dont give my trust to no one until the earned it.

    • @GranTube
      @GranTube Před 2 lety

      I agree with you for the most part just not the part about the middle finger. Unless that person started something with you first, you had a very bad falling out that person, or that person did something so extremely bad to you there's no need for the middle finger it's very unnecessary and very uncalled for and it's also very immature especially if ghosting you is all that person did than there's really no need for the middle finger you might even maybe wanna give that person a chance to explain cuz you really don't know what they were going through at the time. Just try to act normal when you see that person like you don't know him/her cuz A STRANGER is really what him/her is to you now so treat them like one you wouldn't flip off a random stranger right? So if that person comes up to you and try to talk to you first talk to him/her like any random stranger no need to be rude no need to be friendly no need to be nice just be normal and just act accordingly and go with the flow but whatever you do DON'T TALK TO THEM FIRST! That person DOES NOT deserve your acknowledgement or sympathy even if you two happen to meet face to face ONLY TALK TO THAT PERSON IF THEY TALK TO YOU FIRST! Don't start a conversation with them or even ask them any questions like how are they doing or about their lives ONLY WAIT FOR THAT PERSON TO COME UP TO YOU AND TALK TO YOU FIRST AND YOU ANSWER ALL THAT PERSON'S QUESTIONS WITH ONLY 1-3 WORD ANSWERS THATS IT! After a while they'll get the hint so try to talk to them as least as possible then walk away(they'll know what's up) other than that just ignore that person and treat them like any random stranger on the street that you don't know even if that person offer you a hug or handshake(unless it's one of those fake f**k y** handshakes while you're look them straight in their eyes) DON'T ACCEPT IT! It doesn't matter who's there if there are other people around go talk to them just move on. Unless it was a really bad falling out you had with that person or something there is absolutely no need for the middle finger that's kinda strong and immature for someone that ghosted you. I know it really sucks cuz I've experienced it many times but unless you really have a good reason to produce the middle finger to that person you really don't know what that person was thinking or going through at that time.

  • @LotusMystery
    @LotusMystery Před 7 lety +119

    Ignoring me for months? Playing mind games while I'm trying to have an adult conversation? Understandable, have a nice life

    • @playboikirby8173
      @playboikirby8173 Před 6 lety

      MissGhost same

    • @mpaxton8991
      @mpaxton8991 Před 6 lety +7

      My brother has been doing this. He won't return my calls or texts, and walks away from me when I try to talk to him when we meet up in a store. If he doesn't want to talk like an adult about what I possibly could have done or said that pissed him off (actually I haven't seen him to even say anything), it is his problem, not mine. Im not going to keep playing these childish games.

    • @wisediva9807
      @wisediva9807 Před 6 lety

      MissGhost 💯

    • @acharich
      @acharich Před 6 lety

      💯💯💯

    • @alexandriaschulz9374
      @alexandriaschulz9374 Před 4 lety

      OKAY!

  • @bedessy6281
    @bedessy6281 Před 5 lety +34

    She is so selfish... I was there when she needed.. Now she's avoiding me..

  • @emitosy4530
    @emitosy4530 Před 4 lety +19

    It hurts a lot, especially when they are your only friend, but you don’t think you are authorized to be too clingy. Yeah, it hurts. Thanks for the video.

  • @nadirrabah6756
    @nadirrabah6756 Před 5 lety +16

    People pull the "I'm busy" bull shit on me (all the time). Know what i do? I erase those people from my life.

    • @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115
      @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 Před 5 lety +3

      People can be busy , people with kids are busy like myself. I have 5 kids and working 2 jobs and music careers and finishing up school and busy with my family. You can't assume all the time

  • @Sandra-luv-bug
    @Sandra-luv-bug Před 2 lety +12

    I've been ghosted, lied to, betrayed, gossiped about, made fun of, taken advantage of, and treated like a doormat so many times that Im starting to love being single and alone... I'm done with friendships and toxic relationships with people... My friendships always end on a bad note somehow... I'm starting to love my solitude more than people because at least there's no drama and you don't have to deal with people's expectations or judgements and you can be yourself when you're alone and you don't have to worry about pleasing anyone and nobody can hurt you and you don't have to worry about hurting anyone either, i would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be around people who don't value or respect me ... Maybe there's a reason why I'm alone

    • @Beat909
      @Beat909 Před 2 lety +1

      You are not alone. I am doing the same thing.

    • @theself5738
      @theself5738 Před rokem

      Me too!

  • @marilynbradley8487
    @marilynbradley8487 Před 8 lety +60

    So... I'm not being paranoid, and insecure

    • @whyxjandhwidnxns2653
      @whyxjandhwidnxns2653 Před 7 lety +1

      Marilyn Bradley same

    • @InduCute
      @InduCute Před 2 lety

      That's how.much education
      Has dumbed us down
      Give people the same energy they give you

  • @jagsingh7334
    @jagsingh7334 Před 9 lety +34

    Burn The Bridge And Rebuild Another .... With Someone Else.!!

  • @freespirit.8958
    @freespirit.8958 Před 7 lety +7

    there either avoiding you because they did something dishonest to you behind your back or spreading bullshit lies behind your back because it's allways a reason why someone avoids you!

    • @itsmesia2469
      @itsmesia2469 Před 5 lety +1

      I think there can be MANY reasons for ppl avoiding other ppl. Example: They have moved on. The OTHER person did something wrong so he/she is avoiding that person. Ppl sometimes just don't match. Person got busy. Or other issues.
      I myself are avoiding ppl who did A LOT OF BAD to me. Lot of. They took money from and did other bad stuff (They try to come back in my life. Noway I want that)
      So ppl CAN have different reasons for avoiding. But if it's two good friends and nothing bad seem to have happened and the other is avoiding the other... At least that person can give an explanation. And if not.. the other person must simply move on. There's nothing to do about it. (Maybe could go to a good psychic or medium to ask... If they could see whats wrong..)

  • @teeganohara5698
    @teeganohara5698 Před 4 lety +8

    My so called friend ghosted me and was avoiding me. So now I am avoiding them. I was a great friend and they treated me like I did not matter and had no value unless they needed something. I do not care what you are going through in life, there is a right and a wrong way to treat people in general and especially people who have tried to show you love and support. Until the person goes to therapy for their issues and grows up mentally, I have to protect myself so I chose to avoid them. Losing someone I care about hurt and I will not let them back in until they get help and then I will still be cautious until they show me they are a better person with actions and not just words.

  • @lindaeasley5606
    @lindaeasley5606 Před 3 lety +7

    The person in my life who is purposely avoiding me has played this game before and I just don't care if I ever here from them again

  • @mariedubuque
    @mariedubuque  Před 10 lety +38

    Dragana, don't let this one person prevent you from being around your friends. They can choose their own friends...He doesn't need to do it for them. So, even when he is around, continue to talk to your pals and simply acknowledge his presence, nothing more. Say hi, be polite and continue talking to the people you like.

    • @animepenguin3695
      @animepenguin3695 Před 8 lety +2

      Thanks for the advice... I'm going through a really tough time with bullies

    • @SuperPoshposh
      @SuperPoshposh Před 7 lety

      Marie Dubuque
      I love your Hair Style from 3 years back ! please change your style 💐

    • @debbieharriman531
      @debbieharriman531 Před 6 lety

      +Iftekhar Khan well were not earth to please men just ourselves and god . so deal.with it.

    • @ajakchol5508
      @ajakchol5508 Před 6 lety

      Marie Dubuque
      O MY GOD , my brother 's wife is really avoiding me for no reason
      She is just being like really mean to me .she is really hating on me
      And I don't know what to do

    • @jackfrost81
      @jackfrost81 Před 6 lety

      Thanks for the advice. Great video and well said.

  • @erikgification
    @erikgification Před 5 lety +4

    It is good when childish and immature people avoid you. The only reason people invest and care is because of their own insecurity and fragile egos. Have self respect and standards for yourself. Don't let someone string you along.

  • @FirstLast-fc7dt
    @FirstLast-fc7dt Před 5 lety +15

    Its happening to me now, it hurts but i need to accept it and move on. It wont be easy but i need to live my life. Good luck to everyone and keep your head up.👍🙏

  • @msherazi1259
    @msherazi1259 Před 6 lety +8

    So true- if they say “no Im not avoiding, deny deny deny” then I must not be that important.

  • @aspeltaofkush3540
    @aspeltaofkush3540 Před 5 lety +13

    I’ve found out the more I build myself up, the less other people’s nonsense affects me. It then radiates outward.

  • @len1045678
    @len1045678 Před 3 lety +6

    Some people are avoiding you because they start to feel like they are in a better place in their life than you simple. Basically you don't have to do or say anything for them to avoid you.

  • @PardonMyFlyness
    @PardonMyFlyness Před 5 lety +7

    i wouldn't recommend this strategy. you dont want them to start screaming in the work place like "LEAVE ME ALONE" and make you look like a stalker....especially if you are a guy. Just walk away guys.....no Major L

    • @daisydavis9424
      @daisydavis9424 Před 2 lety

      I agree 100%... There are just some situations that aren't worth trying and sometimes it's better just to walk away from some situations because you never know what kind of trouble it may lead you to.. The only difference is I'm a girl not a guy and I was hanging out with another girl but she was underage and still a preteen, I had no bad intentions, I just wanted to be friends but her dad was already skeptical in the beginning about me being around their daughter because I was alot older than her and her parents are very overprotective... The dad didn't seem to trust me very much but her mom didn't really have an issue with me until me and her daughter had an argument ... So, me and the girl I was friends with had an argument one day and after the argument, she was upset and her mom saw her upset and I was upset too.. The next day, I tried to apologize and she was acting really shady and avoiding me and made excuses and cancelled plans, and her mom was acting alittle bit shady too and they blocked my phone number... In situations like this, it's best to just walk away because you don't want them to accuse you of being a stalker or a kidnapper or something... Her dad already didn't seem to trust me in the first place and I should have listened to my gut and see the red flags but it's already too late.. I don't want to give that family anymore reasons for them not to trust me, so it's better that I just accept I may not get our friendship back again and move on, they clearly don't want anything to do with me so it's better just to walk away from situations like that

  • @msherazi1259
    @msherazi1259 Před 6 lety +2

    Yes- you may not feel like it’s fair, and often it isnt, but you cant go wrong taking the high road. Great advice!

  • @Mariolopez1722
    @Mariolopez1722 Před 6 lety +5

    I love this woman. Please keep making videos. You are 💯% on point.

  • @michaelzahri
    @michaelzahri Před 9 lety +4

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Your explanation is crystal clear. This is what I needed to hear and made me feel better.

  • @CabooseNor
    @CabooseNor Před 10 lety +1

    Glad I had the right idea about this. Thanks for confirming and adding some bits of advice.

  • @veelaliddell
    @veelaliddell Před 10 lety +24

    How to know if someone's hanging out with you out of pity?

  • @shiamaxwell3482
    @shiamaxwell3482 Před rokem +2

    Never ask since you know. I asked a cousin when my Dad passed away and got cursed out about her having 3 jobs. Now my Mom passed away yesterday and another cousin is obviously avoiding me !

  • @jmk2530
    @jmk2530 Před rokem +2

    Good advice Marie.

  • @manelson2118
    @manelson2118 Před 7 lety +2

    WOW! Just the kind of advice I needed! Be Blessed!

  • @caryn9561
    @caryn9561 Před 5 lety +8

    I notice people only like you if they see you have money.

    • @mike42441
      @mike42441 Před 5 lety +3

      So true !!! "They're not really interested in you, they're just interested in what you can do for them." ...from 'You Can You Will' by Joel Osteen - this audio book really says it like it is. I highly recommend it.

    • @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115
      @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 Před 5 lety

      Not all

    • @daisydavis9424
      @daisydavis9424 Před 2 lety

      I also notice people only love you if you look like a super model

  • @YouLovesDino
    @YouLovesDino Před 10 lety +2

    Thank you so much for this video, It helped me a lot!

  • @miloskujovic
    @miloskujovic Před 9 lety +3

    Marie thank you so much for all your advice, you help me alot in life in past 8months
    Life is good :) hugs for you

  • @jriley67207
    @jriley67207 Před 8 lety +20

    My friend is avoiding me right know

  • @prettypass
    @prettypass Před 6 lety +2

    I love this channel she gives great advice ❤️

  • @glx3846
    @glx3846 Před 7 lety +1

    I really apreciate your videos, they have helped me along the way Marie. I would love to meet you in person one day

  • @ratchetbarbie8264
    @ratchetbarbie8264 Před 7 lety +28

    This is happening to me right now

    • @notimportant6266
      @notimportant6266 Před 7 lety +1

      Ratchet Barbie same here. And it sucks cause i am best friends with this guy and hes in Africa now. I texted him and he hasnt even looked at it all day.

    • @salarte7672
      @salarte7672 Před 7 lety

      Same, well I think so..

    • @aishahossain3357
      @aishahossain3357 Před 3 lety

      Yeah my really close friend is acting a little weird...but I'm not sure

  • @asparrowscall
    @asparrowscall Před 5 lety +4

    My best friend started doing this to me, but I know she hides facts that she hates anyone and I’ve had this feeling for ages that she hates me and last year I asked her if she hated me and she avoided the question. We go to the same school so I can truely tell she’s ignoring me. Especially when I’m crying and she just walks straight past me. And I know there’s no friendship at all but it’s so hard to let go and every time she ignores me it hurts like all hell and I don’t know what I did or why she just dropped me off and I only have 3 other friends that only really one spends time with me. Lately everything’s been hard especially with everything I’m fighting all at once.
    Sorry for the dumb vent

  • @debbieharriman2504
    @debbieharriman2504 Před 6 lety

    thanks marie ,thats good advice.

  • @nodozhit
    @nodozhit Před 3 lety +2

    It's just a hard pill to swallow- but if someone is avoiding me for reasons beyond my comprehension or control, then I will try my best to never bother them again.
    But then, again, everyone who gets to know me knows that I will have no problem asserting myself; and my mannerisms might appear to be a lot more aggressive or authoritative than they are equipped handle.
    Deceitful people can dish it out, but they can't take it.
    So their best bet is to avoid people like me who may be too frank and earnest.
    Throughout plenty of my experiences, I noticed how deceitful peers and coworkers don't like being around people who are more frank and earnest. They will either shy away from you or try to triangulate you and invalidate everything about you in order to validate their own lackadaisical behaviors.
    My classic mistake has always been trying hard humble myself in order to fit in with the crowd.
    But my reality is that I wasn't made to just fit in with and follow the crowds.
    Over my life span, I had peers finally open up and share their dark thoughts about what separated us. I heard things like "too smart for my own good," "try too damn hard," "high minded," "on a high horse," "always want to be right," etc.
    All I can say in my defense (and in defense of others like me) is all I know is how to be my genuine self and my missteps were not being my truer authentic self. My entire working life, I have been consistently goal oriented.
    Although I have never viewed myself as hater, I hate haters; and it's hard for me to hide my despise and disgust for deceitful people.
    And I know that also makes me a hypocrite in their eyes too because they might have felt deceived by me when I was numbing and dumbing down my own attributes during my initial "just trying to fitt in" process.

  • @Finn643
    @Finn643 Před 10 lety +2

    It is a excellent video. I wait for this video in long time.

  • @muhdzulkifli984
    @muhdzulkifli984 Před 5 lety +3

    Guess its time to move on... Tq for your advices❤️

  • @anythingwelike1029
    @anythingwelike1029 Před 4 lety +1

    Everything you said and each bit of advice you give on this video is very useful.. Thanks a lot.. Greetings from the Philippines - rur - 🌹

  • @crystalgrose
    @crystalgrose Před 10 lety +1

    VERY GOOD ADVICE!!!

  • @whidisyaputra3340
    @whidisyaputra3340 Před 6 lety +1

    Its happening a lot, but tkyu for the advice... i'll know better now.

  • @Dulcealcazar
    @Dulcealcazar Před 8 lety +35

    i think my friend is avoiding me:( I dont know what I did wrong

    • @nizamnovruzov5648
      @nizamnovruzov5648 Před 6 lety +1

      mine too ((

    • @felishaphillips7517
      @felishaphillips7517 Před 6 lety +2

      Nizam Novruzov Mines too haven't spoken to we haven't talked to each other since the new year's came in it hurts like fuck!!!

  • @claresaguban3471
    @claresaguban3471 Před 3 lety +3

    I wish my old crush could tell me how he feels about me so I can get closure. When he avoided me I thought he was shy but, as time goes by and looking at a lot of love lessons I realized that instead of waiting for an answer, I need to find it myself. Which gave me the conclusion that he might've ghosted me... 😞

  • @NorthernLight222
    @NorthernLight222 Před 10 lety +1

    Thank you for your advise.

  • @taniyiapeters135
    @taniyiapeters135 Před 4 lety

    Some people don't have a conscious. They not affected by what they are doing or not doing affects you negatively. It's hard to get through to these types of people. It honestly becomes draining

  • @RyanJohnson-ox3py
    @RyanJohnson-ox3py Před 5 lety +1

    Family and friends ignore me and make excuses that they are busy ill or to tired to come round even ignore me in the street

  • @angelakivlehen1417
    @angelakivlehen1417 Před 7 lety +8

    I had this one online friend. We were close. But they have ghosted me off and on. They told me why and I forgave them for it. But they stopped talking to me all the sudden. It's been almost a year since we've spoken. I sent them a message a few months ago saying that I missed the friendship but respected if they didn't want to speak to me then promised that they won't hear from me again. It still hurts though. I wish it wouldn't. Making friends isn't easy for me but even with new friends who actually care about me, I can't shake off the pain. Why is this? My online friend wasn't the only person to do this either but a few other people so it piles up.

    • @InduCute
      @InduCute Před 2 lety +2

      Because you are paying attention to them
      You are paying for the debt you don't owe
      Are the thinking about you
      No
      Then why should you think about them
      Don't waste your energy and time on them
      Give people the same energy they give you 💯

  • @annabernstein244
    @annabernstein244 Před 6 lety

    thank you am really thankful for your help.

  • @SD-rm5ty
    @SD-rm5ty Před rokem +1

    Yes rectify the situation is my way of doing things.

  • @0007avinash
    @0007avinash Před 7 lety +14

    Thank you, mam, I am very sad in these days I just lost my friend she died in car accident. After that, I made some friend in office in starting they were good but after some time they avoiding me not giving importance But I am giving so much importance to them that's the mistake from my side. I have to talk first always If I will not talk they will not say Hello or Hi,
    For me, it hurts.
    I Am missing my friend too much

    • @itsmesia2469
      @itsmesia2469 Před 5 lety

      🙏💜💛💙💚🙏

    • @InduCute
      @InduCute Před 2 lety +3

      If you are always the one to start a conversation
      Then it is time to let them go

  • @blitzkrieg6872
    @blitzkrieg6872 Před 6 měsíci

    My sister was avoiding me for a few years until we became estranged. When I first saw her pulling away I was devastated. After that, I accepted it. Now it's been years since then and I have moved on with my life. If she tried to reach out for me, I wouldn't want to make amends with her. Once someone shows me that they don't like or value me, I lose my feelings for them and just move on with my life. Not everybody is going to like you.

  • @okno99
    @okno99 Před 7 lety +13

    I'm like so scared to tell them why they avoiding me

    • @LotusMystery
      @LotusMystery Před 7 lety

      Same

    • @jmarsmom01
      @jmarsmom01 Před 4 lety

      That’s me since this comment was two years ago

    • @no-xs4vz
      @no-xs4vz Před 4 lety

      well if i ask why theyre avoiding me they just avoid the question and get away from me ;(

    • @len1045678
      @len1045678 Před 3 lety

      You don't have to tell them anything, is not good to care too much sometimes specially when they don't care about you

  • @jonienglish3231
    @jonienglish3231 Před 7 lety +1

    keep your friends Close and your enemies Closer

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 Před 7 lety +15

    i know exactly what you are talking about and it has happened to me. I guess ive tried handling it by trying to ask them what it is but usually my family are pulling me back telling me to leave it and let it go because if you are going up to them and asking whats wrong it gives them more amunition to ignore you, hurt you and you are coming across as desperate and they have you right where they want you because you are also showing them your reaction too.
    Say for example i do get this person on my own and i ask them generally and this is in my past they refuse to talk about it and im like if you have a problem its better to hash it out and get everything on the table but they dont wanna do that always because they want to keep it going. Do you grovel?? Do you challenge head on or turn the other cheek and act like it doesnt bother you??
    It probably is because they are jealous of you and your natural ability to make everyone like you and they want to bring you down because they are so insecure about theirselves and if and wjen you react it shifts the attention of from themselves onto you

    • @stevo6891
      @stevo6891 Před 2 lety

      This girl that works at Walmart always spoke to me saying hi how are you and I’d reply good how are you?? But one day something changed I’d say hi how are you? She completely stoned walled me?? I’m thinking to myself all we did was always say hello to each other but all of a sudden ignores me? I quit saying hello don’t know what I did but hey I just go on about my day.. I honestly don’t get people

    • @alcudiababe1
      @alcudiababe1 Před 2 lety +1

      @@stevo6891 I think I know why based on your message. It's a bit warped the reasoning but by the sounds of it it's like she chooses to say hi to you on her terms ( some people are like that) but the minute you go up to her do something differently she's probably thinking I don't like this, I approach people. I bet you any money if you walk by her again and you do not say anything to her she will try talking to you. She won't like being ignored. If this happens, please tell me if it does, but this is tactic called the push pull technique, some days she'll push you away from her other days she'll try and pull you back and slip into her own routine. I bet you she likes persuing alot more than she likes people approaching her.. she shouldn't do, not in a customer based job though!!!

    • @stevo6891
      @stevo6891 Před 2 lety

      @@alcudiababe1 Thanks 🙏 for the advice appreciate it.. I was always raised to treat everyone good.. I maybe thought 💭 she was probably thinking I liked her or something I hope she didn’t take it that way.. I’m an out going person and I like to talk to people and meet new people just how I always been.. I give everyone a chance I don’t judge others I remember playing basketball on a mens league and I was the only white guy on the team.. But I got along with my fellow teammates.. Sometimes I just don’t understand people.. I hope she didn’t take it the wrong way or have the wrong idea.. Didn’t mean anything by it.. I remember once I tried talking to a Gothic group once the people that wear all black? I never really got a response out of them.. I figured because I’m not Goth they see me as an not in there click or something.. Idk, I was just always raised to treat people right and I always look for the good in people.. I was told once “I’m too nice” but sometimes I’m lost for words on people.. I don’t try and figure them out anymore.. But thank you I hope you have a good evening!!

    • @alcudiababe1
      @alcudiababe1 Před 2 lety

      @@stevo6891 I have to post this link watch this, just because this is something as women we were taught by our favourite program, you might be a very lovely guy an exception to the dating rules which we as women were not taught but if you're too nice as you say you're guilty of on a woman she probably does think you're hitting on her
      czcams.com/video/UlVYoK9GU2s/video.html

  • @micheleboskovic3248
    @micheleboskovic3248 Před 10 lety +2

    thanks marie whit out you i don't know what will i do

  • @madi3518
    @madi3518 Před 5 lety +6

    Once I knew I purposely annoyed them to death

  • @alexandriaschulz9374
    @alexandriaschulz9374 Před 4 lety

    Thank you, thank you.. & THANK YOU

  • @notsheepish8304
    @notsheepish8304 Před 3 lety +1

    They ask how you're doing and you tell them, expecting they will reciprocate. But they don't. Then you wish you hadn't said anything.

  • @daisydavis9424
    @daisydavis9424 Před 2 lety +1

    So I was hanging out with a girl who was alittle younger than me and Her parents are overprotective of this girl I became friends with and her dad was already skeptical about me because I'm alittle bit older than his daughter... The girl and I are both females, I had no bad intentions to hurt her or anything, all I was looking for was a friendship and she was the only friend I had... We were friends for alittle while... But then all of a sudden, me and the girl had an argument, it was both of our faults but I will admit I did say some things I shouldn't have said... But after the argument, she started avoiding me.... And she was acting really secretive and shady with me... I tried apologizing to her, she used to text me long paragraphs but after I apologized, she now only gives me short responses like "ok" or "fine" and I remember I tried coming to her house one day to apologize in person and she immediately told me over the phone and lied to me and told me she was not at home, she was in school... Even though i saw her parents car outside and she told me she goes to school at 9am.. it was around 7am when I knocked on the door.. and I thought she was not allowed to have phones at school and after I knocked on her door, she immediately called me from her phone and told me she was at school... And everytime I asked her if we could hang out, she would cancel plans with me... We used to hang out all the time but ever since the argument, she would barely text me and cancel plans and about a month ago, she blocked my number just out of the blue ..
    At this point, I'm not going to beg anymore or try to put in the effort in our friendship anymore because it's only going to make me look desperate and they can easily accuse me of harrassment... Especially because I'm older than this girl and her parents are overprotective of her... I'm not even going to try anymore and I don't think her dad really liked me that much to begin with, so I give up... I guess there are some people who just aren't worth holding onto maybe me and this girl are not meant to be friends...

  • @mariedubuque
    @mariedubuque  Před 10 lety +5

    ScAr, see if she goes out of her way to run into you, or starts conversations with you out of the blue. Also, if she seems to pay more attention to you than other people, that is a good sign!

    • @zg3263
      @zg3263 Před 7 lety

      I live with my family and I feel like they put me down how can I deal with that

    • @whyxjandhwidnxns2653
      @whyxjandhwidnxns2653 Před 7 lety

      Marie Dubuque scar that's my nickname that scared the heck out of me

  • @fluffyhoneytina
    @fluffyhoneytina Před 10 lety +1

    I like all your videos.

  • @The1992hem
    @The1992hem Před 7 lety +1

    Marie, do you have video that talks about people who do/say wrong things, they don't apologize for it, and NEVER DO. And it is hard for them to admit that they are wrong when they KNOW their in the wrong.? How should I deal with someone like this? I love watching your videos, so thank you!

  • @tq325
    @tq325 Před 21 dnem

    Let them go. Don't let them back in. There are too many people out here to worry about one person who wants to avoid you. Buh-bye 😊

  • @li-an7700
    @li-an7700 Před 3 lety

    this hits home!

  • @sarahbrennan1342
    @sarahbrennan1342 Před 3 lety +1

    The way I see it... don’t contact them... it’s their loss....... but they will always come back when they need you and you can smile.. be polite ... but don’t go back

  • @davidcr8
    @davidcr8 Před 9 lety +3

    Marie... I love your videos! There very educational! My question is... What is the female that's been avoiding and ignoring me tells me the reason is her and not me? She says she's trying to figure things out in life and trying to make a better life for herself. Also she said she's trying to figure out how to have a healthy friendship with me, but she's been avoiding and ignoring me for about 2 months on and off. The weird the is she contacted me out of the blue about 2 months ago to tell me she broke up with her boyfriend the day after it happened. I just told her I feel like she did the right thing and that they just weren't meant to be. I was trying my best to comfort her, but not hit on her in anyway. I only want to be friends with her. We've been friends for many years. Anyways... The day after she contacted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend she suddenly began to avoid and ignore me again. That's the reason we weren't speaking months before she contacted me. Because she randomly does this to me and always says is just her. I just don't know what to believe anymore or what to do anymore. Because she's playing with my mind and my heart and it's just too much.

  • @dutarus1
    @dutarus1 Před 6 lety +1

    Makes sense! Thank you:-)

  • @raulantunez4228
    @raulantunez4228 Před 4 lety

    Dear , you are so relatable. I’m starting to talk to someone I hadn’t had a conversation with since 7th grade. ( I’m in 10 th now )

  • @felipeopinion
    @felipeopinion Před 9 lety

    Thank You!!!

  • @wherescasey
    @wherescasey Před 6 lety +2

    So true. ♡

  • @lindseyhebert5568
    @lindseyhebert5568 Před 6 lety +3

    I am feeling too avoided I feel ignored and missing communication and sometimes I feel like they are acting like trying to let’s forget about her or care about her and invisible they I feel like they don’t care to speak to me and my boyfriend ignores my phone calls to this breaks my heart and I don’t know why I’m scared to like them I am afraid to make them say I guess she doesn’t like me I wonder why

  • @marisaliu6948
    @marisaliu6948 Před 2 lety

    Marie, can you make a video about how to deal with people who deliberately tests/challenges/threatens you? Treats you like a sample, disrespectful

  • @itsmehcandy5328
    @itsmehcandy5328 Před 6 lety +2

    Someone that’s my “friend” is avoiding me but she expect when her friend is away or something she comes me me and my friend and Hangs out with me... it doesn’t make sense....

  • @nsjansmassnajjakaja7112
    @nsjansmassnajjakaja7112 Před 6 lety +2

    My best frnd is avoiding me. You helped me so much

  • @keericatate7302
    @keericatate7302 Před 8 lety +2

    What If They Respond With An Insult Like "I'm Avoiding You Because You're Broke & I Don't Like Broke People." ?

  • @bellatrixsanchez8016
    @bellatrixsanchez8016 Před 10 lety +2

    U made my life

  • @marleee.2174
    @marleee.2174 Před 6 lety

    Hey a coworker of mine that I’m usually friendly with has been kind of distant lately. I’ll try to talk with her and be friendly with her. I’ll ask her if she minds if I can sit with her and she says she doesn’t mind but the entire time, she’s just on her phone and is like “oh I have a head ache”. I don’t know what’s up

  • @ashleighejessuph1291
    @ashleighejessuph1291 Před 3 lety +2

    I did Already I even apologized and they're still being cold towards me it hurts me so much

  • @yourformalpresidentobama4347

    Everybody is avoiding me

  • @fadethetrade
    @fadethetrade Před 10 lety

    That's exactly what I did, I sent her flowers, apolgizing.telling her in a poem.After I sent another text, she answered and said,Hi Sam,I received your flowers, thank you,but from my side, this story is over. Thats how she worded it but she has damage inside, I know because she has no friends nad drinks too much because of her 6'1" height,I think screwed her up thruout her life so she has a defense mechanizsm built in, but she is crying for our relationship,maybe as a friend or something bigger.She needs assistance.I can't just see someone I care for cry out for help in her life. I know I shouldnt be the one, its her problem but,as I already texted you about this situation and you gave me the advice to leave it alone, I find it hard to leave a person in agony!I think something could happen which comes to my next question, you siad to me to leave it until I arrive in hungary and just be family friend again, but that's 3 months away. I want to send her a birthday wish and small gift february 19th, is there anything wrong with doing that even if she throws it out, I dont care but is that damaging to that since she seemed very nice for a second about thsoe flowers until she spoke out about her anger with me again.

  • @veelaliddell
    @veelaliddell Před 10 lety +1

    Marie, I need some advice. I mostly hang out with this group of people in school. Mostly, there's 3 of them and we're great friends and we have lots of fun, but then one person comes in and kinda excludes me from that group. I personally have nothing against him (except for this one thing) but it seems that he doesn't like me and the fact that I'm becoming really close to those 3 people. What should I do? Should I stop hanging out with those people because of him (because I know that he means more to them than I do)?

  • @jasmerson
    @jasmerson Před 5 lety +1

    Hi, is this even applicable if you are living in the same place? Cause it is hard not to notice that he/they are avoiding you. I’ve already confronted one of them and he said i did nothing wrong. What can I do? He was like my best friend before, now, he won’t even talk to me and when I ask something he just answers with 1 or 2 words. Can you please help cause it is getting harder to breathe and my chest feels really tight.

  • @JOJOAMBERGARZ
    @JOJOAMBERGARZ Před 10 lety +1

    Im friends with this guy that i like
    but not super close he is 17 and im 16 and recently weve been talking alot more and hanging out but the past couple weeks ive been getting the feeling he is avoiding me. He wont sit by me in class anymore he doesnt say hey when we pass in the halls anymore he doest reply when i snapchat him anymore and when i try to hang out with him he always has an excuse i have no idea what i did

  • @ab.-
    @ab.- Před 4 lety

    When some people you know avoid eye contact, it is crystal clear they ignore you, you don't value you. Best thing to do is avoid them as much as possible, too. If they appreciate you, they look at you and talk. Otherwise they will keep this nasty behavior and it hurts you.

  • @celiandmarlit5309
    @celiandmarlit5309 Před 9 lety

    Marie can u tell me problems that your going to face during highschool if things will still be the same can u tell me also what not to do and what I should know.

  • @scarclan7178
    @scarclan7178 Před 10 lety

    Hey Marie! I have a question. There's this girl that I'm interested in. She has told me that she has only wanted to be friends with me and I've already told her how I feel. This was during last school year. Near the end of summer, we had gone to a music camp together and then a school camp, and now it's school again. During that time i was picking up on certain cues that might indicate differently. So how can I tell if someone has changed their mind?

  • @ubellubo
    @ubellubo Před 3 lety

    My best female friend has suddenly ghosted me. Inexplicably. I have no idea why. I asked her if we were okay, and I was mystified to receive an angry message saying that she wasn't talking to anyone and that it had nothing to do with me and that she was annoyed that I would even think it had something to with me. I messaged handful of times after that just to make chit-chat, but her tone was not as friendly, and the last two messages she didn't reply at all. Right before she changed she had been messaging me everyday, sometimes a hundreds of messages in a day. Her last friendly message she was saying she wanted me to meet her mother and how much she was sure her mother would like me. I could even say that our friendship had reached an all time high and then fell off a cliff. It is so strange to me.
    My friend is a fun person, but she has some issues. She is prone to anxiety and depression. So it might have something to do with that. But she is still talking to our mutual friends.
    I am going to give her space. But while I feel confused and hurt by this, I would forgive her instantly if she wanted to be friends again

  • @noirfit9721
    @noirfit9721 Před 3 lety

    I had a friend do that to me. Tried to talk to her about it and she wouldn’t talk. After grieving the almost 10 year friendship, I wrote her a long letter, releasing her with love and light. And then proceeded to delete and block her off of everything. You wanna act funny? That’s ok. I did my best. Move on and let go all the way

  • @WearySecret
    @WearySecret Před 7 lety +4

    Question 🙋. I had a friendship over the last few years. I have gone to parties she's hosted, Bible studies, and when she had surgery I stayed with her one afternoon. However, I would not consider that I did too much for her. I started noticing that she treated me slightly different from other friends. She seemed uninterested in my new hobbies, and she was unable to help with two of my requests. I do not have many. So, I changed her priority and distanced myself slightly. After some time I invited her to tea at my home. I scheduled weeks on advance and made homemade rolls, which she had once done for me. The day before I had not heard from her so I sent a text. She replied back that the rolls sounded awesome but shed had been helpibg with the school book fare all day and they were desperate for help tomorrow and wanted me to reschedule for the next week no apologies. I felt this rude. I waited to respond and she texted again wanting to know if rescheduling was okay because she just had to let the school know. I responded no that day is out. She say okay just let me know when and I just dropped it there. I wasn't going to waste my time. It's been months and I have seen her around. I say hi and leave it there. Now, she is avoiding me. Is this going to remain awkward? What is the next step?

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Před 6 lety +5

      I would not waste another second on that worthless, self centered narcissist. They are unworthy of your time or effort.

    • @acharich
      @acharich Před 6 lety +4

      I feel u.. If u have let her know & she doesn't care, forgive her & move on..

    • @holistic7980
      @holistic7980 Před 2 lety

      Forgive her for your own sake and piece of mind and open up your life to new friends. No one is perfect and none of us are mind readers so if something isn't working best to be gentle and try to resolve it and if it doesn't work move on. Be happy. Do more things that give you calm. Happiness and peace during this process :)

  • @SandyRocker
    @SandyRocker Před 4 lety +2

    3:37 to 4:10 . true words

  • @loonyloo4146
    @loonyloo4146 Před 5 lety

    This guy in my class avoids me he thinks that I like him when in fact I like his friend. What can I do?

  • @bismarrezaaraisyi384
    @bismarrezaaraisyi384 Před 6 lety

    I have similar situation, but the problem is we are in the middle of some projects. She, as a leader of our group. She kinda silent if i approach her, but not to the other. I also ask what am I doing to make her avoid me, and she just wave it of like it's not a problem and still ignore me. At one hand, if I'm ignore her i would left off from the group, but it's also painful if I act like it never happened, how can i fix this problem? I'm a man by the way

  • @charolettemoody9894
    @charolettemoody9894 Před 4 lety

    I do feel one of my friends is avoiding me. We use to talk regular and now it seems I call and text her once in a while. She will respond way later and say she has a lot going on. Which is probably true but so do I. I feel if I've done something she should tell me so we can talk it out. But if it's petty she probably thinks it will chase me off which it may. But too me even if I did something not talking to me about it and avoiding me and just telling me your busy...it's her not being a good friend. I don't need friends like that. I will forgive her but our friendship won't be the same for me.

  • @glennprestidge8054
    @glennprestidge8054 Před 9 lety

    Hi im having trouble with a friend and she avoids me she wont answer her phone and i don't know if I've done some think wrong. Always say hi to her and stood me up for a movie night. Im out of options

  • @revaclay2734
    @revaclay2734 Před 4 lety

    Hey I have a question and this is something that has happened to me in 2013. And I’m not trying to bring up the past or anything I’m just letting you know what had happened to me because this had emotionally scarred me at the time. So I was 18 years old and I was on Twitter and I follow the celebrity named Chester Tam. My first week to him was a fan made a video and he like that and then later on I had sent him a fan made drawing. He like that as well. Also I was very naïve at the time and I had a crush on him and I was trying to be his friend online which was not a good idea. I would not tweet him every day but it would be just an occasional thing. However sometimes he will ignore me and I will see him either favorite other peoples tweets or he would respond back to other people. At the time I thought he was ignoring me, and I was feeling a little sore about it. One of my last tweet to him was something I did not realize would offend him. I tagged him and some other people that she’s sometime talk too. I wrote “ @ username Only response back to rich people” because sometimes I notice he would talk to other people more. I don’t even know why I tweeted that, but I think that’s what made him block me. I got on his Instagram that day and try to apologize to him. However he saw my tweet and said oh no and then block me on there too. Then on Twitter he was accusing me and saying bad things about me. So I just want everyone to know that I’m only human and I make mistakes.The fact that I even try to apologize to him was showing that I am only a person who doesn’t like misunderstandings who tries to work things out with people but if somebody is going to just sit up and ignore me without telling me what I did to them without even trying to work things out with me then something is wrong with them. Is there something wrong with me though? Do I deserve to be bullied online because of the mistake? Also does it make me a bad person? Not to mention this person still has me blocked till this day in 2019 and I don’t even worry with bothering them. He deleted my drawing I did on his timeline too.

  • @nataliepearson5299
    @nataliepearson5299 Před 10 lety

    My cousin and are supposed to be really close. But in the past few months she has not tried to make any plans whatsoever to spend some time with me,and every time I try to spend time with her she says she has plans with her friends! But yet when I have plans she suddenly free to hang out with me. And this makes me very frustrated. But I am afraid to confront her about this situation. I am afraid she will get mad at me and accuse me of being jealous what should I do.