Dealing with friends who don't include you in plans and then brag about the fun they had
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
- Do you have friends who say, "Oh, you won't like it..don't go." Or don't even include you, period. Then they call you up the next day and tell you how much fun they had. These people are doing this on purpose. So, how should you respond? Quietly make plans with other people and don't include them! Don't make it some kind of a game by calling them up and telling them how great the event was. No, you don't want to stoop to that level. But if they happen to hear about it, all the better. And ultimately, you really don't want anything to do with these types. They do not have your back, and you can't trust them.
Marie Dubuque is a life coach who loves to give advice on everything from dating dilemmas and drama-filled friendships to tricky social situations and rocky relationships!
So called friends: omg, you’re my friend!
*constantly ditches me and, makes plans with a group of people right in front of me*
Mystic Brush I know I’m late but mood
Mystic Brush just don’t be friends with them
So not nice.😥❤
Yes. My own brother and his wife did this. Disgusting.
What I’ve been dealing with for a month and a half now
I am crying while watching this I feel so left out..like No one loves me
Ralica M hi..
Ralica M don’t say that! Everyone loves you!
i can be ur friend
Jesus Christ loves you!
Ralica M i love you
I had "friends" do this to me too, it's pretty annoying and hurtful, its best to just distance yourself from them :'P
That is not a friend, rather an individual who is trying to inflict pain, avoid them. It is not your fault, they are simply revealing that they are a malicious hateful miserable person
You are right. Birds of a feature, flock together.❤
Break away from these type of people, they aren't proper friends.
But what if there the only “friends” you have?
@@gastly123 Much better to be alone than to have fake 'friends' IMO
@@TheHumbuckerboy how do you deal with being alone
@@iambatman786 I am not alone. I was referring to a situation where I believe that it is better to get away from fake 'friends' . I had known a time when I was involved with a family who were seeking to undermine me and to control me but it was something of a relief and freedom when I distanced myself from them and from their attempts at manipulation .
my "friends" went out and hung out twice and didnt even invite me. I didnt know what to do and i felt like there was something wrong with me or like i'd done something. We were like a family and then one day they just completely shut me out. That was a month ago and they havent talked to me since. I didn't know why because it was so out of the blue. I would message them and try to start a conversation and they just wouldn't respond. This video helped me realize what I needed to do. thanks
Kaitlyn Shanti my so called friends also done the same....they planned a trip together and posted photos on Instagram...and after that they one of the friend also said we missed you...means you made plan without me and you miss me... and whenever I watch that photos they all are smiling and very happy... it was like that they don't need me.. though I am absent their it doesn't really matter to them...
I had this done to me for years with the ladies (other wives and girlfriends) of my husbands football team friends. After almost 20 years one of the ladies came to apologize to me and told me they were so jealous of me and wanted to be me. I was shocked! They hurt me so much that I just stopped going out to dinners with the group and would send my husband off alone with them. Looking back now. My husband is now an ex husband and he was SUCH A COWARD for not standing up for me. :(
My situation is different. Me and my childhood friend just grew apart since first had his first girlfriend in high school and started making new friends. He always has other plans to spend more time with his wife when I ask him if he wants to go hang out somewhere. I also don’t like inviting him to eat at anymore restaurants when I’m with my dad. My dad is too talkative and he won’t even let me say anything to my childhood friend.
Those fake friends are trash!! They don’t have the balls to say anything to you. Just drop you like a bad habit and gaslight you to make you feel crazy like you did something wrong to them! Horrible people 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️. Karma is a B and it will come back around to bite them in the ass! You don’t do good people wrong. It just is what it is!
@@virajharimkar7783 same.
These are people who ... probably have mental issues, but besides that, they could be jealous of you ...”
NAILED IT! This explains so much, thank you!
Yes
I have a friend who does this! She will call me and tell me how she went out with a group of friend (I was not invited). In the back of mind, I am thinking "Is she really naive and does not realize that this is rude or is she really trying to hurt me?" I think people who do this are very insecure and like to get attention and feel important. The fact that she has time to hang out with this group of so-called "friends" and not me, just speaks in volumes about her character. FAKE!!
Can you try to look at it in a more positive way. Your friend may not be trying to hurt you or be selfish. You don't have to have all of the same friends that your friends have. Just tell your friend you are happy that she had a great time.😊
Huh? She is not obligated to invite you everywhere. Cherish the friendship you have with her not compare it to her friendship with others, she can have other friends
I love hanging out with people one on one. I actually kinda hate groups now lol. I agree about not dealing with the politics of groups when you hangout with just one person. I feel like I get to know someone better on a personal level when it’s one on one.
yeah me too. group settings are different. people change personalities. best is one on one
I came here to watch this video today because my friends always make plans without me. They never tell me what’s going on, I don’t get treated fairly, especially from who I thought was my best friend/ brother. But I can tell now that there all just toxic friends who don’t care. It especially sucks too when you’ve been nothing but a great friend to the other person or people.
go to the gym and level up your financial status. that will be enough to make them jealous;))
Disappear on a holiday- but don’t tell them- take time to answer- like 48 hours.
I stumbled upon this on a forum for people with Aspergers Syndrome or ASD. I had the same thing happen to me in the 11th grade by others students who I was in special education with. Though they claimed to be my friend, they did all of the above. Anyway, I had learned about two terms for passive types of aggressive bullying.
A. Bullying by implication - These "Friends" not inviting you to do things with them and them boasting about with you it afterwards or making plans with other people in front of you, or even posting pictures on social media.
B. Bullying by omission, is where gossip and slander for the purpose of trying to destroy your reputation so they you don't have any friends.
Yes its hard to realize because we have to learn these things . its very sad
I have had people do this to me my whole life. And I simply don't care anymore. And that's why I don't let people in anymore.
I keep people as aquaintences, and nothing more. Somebody wants to get know me, I always ask why? Cuz most people who ask about your personal life, how things are going, they're not doing it because they care, they're just doing it because they're hoping to get information, so it gives them something to gossip about.
That's why I don't let nobody in, cuz nearly everyone has a big mouth, and even if they don't they may just say something in passing and not even think about it, and accidently betray you.
Had this happen to me twice. Usually they were seeking connections. Once they knew people I introduced them to, they forgot about me or talk to me less. I gotta be careful going forward. What helps me is I have different groups of friends so I don't have to feel ignored. If you're in the same situation, I suggest having different groups of friends as well - if they don't all know one another that's even better.
CherryCupcakeGirl, I would stick with your three nice friends. They are the ones who have your back...not the ones who ditched you. Let them go. You don't need them.
All the friends I ever had ditched me and is so hurtful to me I can't deal it
Hi
Me to me: if you have toxic friends just find a new friend group
Also me: * doesn't even have a friend group to start with *
Do take the initiative and invite someone somewhere. There are kind, thoughtful people out there. I hope everything works out for you. Lots of love.❤
@@vernaharris4700 Thank you for that very sweet comment! :) this gives me motivation 😊❤️
yes just today my friends went to a party without me they posted tons of photos and videos
jessica horrible friends.....hope you have new ones now!
me too....
Me to
same here
That's the worst. Block them
i’m constantly making huge efforts with my “friend,” and she always chooses other people over me. in primary school, she was best friends with the person that bullied me, and never stood up for me. she always ignores me, but i always try. today, i found out that she went out on a trip to a manga store with girls that don’t even watch anime, and didn’t invite me. i know it doesn’t sound bad, but seeing that i introduced her to it, and that i was the one that TOLD HER ABOUT THE STORE, and she STILL didn’t invite me hurts my feelings. she had the nerve to text me to ask where the shop was.
sorry to hear that
she doesn’t deserve your friendship, more so when she didn’t stand up for you and looks like she’s just using you for whatever information she can get from you that she can use when hanging out with others
you’d be better off ditching her and finding someone who values you
That’s very hurtful. I’ve had it happen to me and it’s hard to comprehend. I wish I could get inside the mind of people who have no loyalty to their friends and expect them to stick around. It’s so weird.!
She's jealous and she feels inferior to you so she does these things so she can feel better about her insecurities. Like the video says, these people have mental issues. After you remove her from your life, she will try to find a way to be part of your life again, because you occupy her mind so she can't do without you, but once she's back in your life again, she will try to hurt you again, because it's what make her feels good, because, again, she has mental issues.
Similar situation for me... brought a "friend" or so I thought to church and she quickly attached herself to a group and never returns my calls anymore or days later... I finally stopped reaching out to her and at church I sit in a different seat. She is a fake friend. For some reason or other they do this. Either jealousy or just plain haters and users. Stay away and stop trying. I know the hurt feelings you describe too well. No more of that for me!
Thank you!! OMFG my friends went out and posted it on their snapchat! I don't know whether I'm jealous or not but I've been replaced with another person and I'm so upset 😰😭
Cassandra, it is OK! Don't let them know you are even bothered by this. They could have posted this new person deliberately. Sure, you can keep this friends, but distance yourself a little while you meet new people and cultivate new friendships. You can do it! You don't want to rely on one group of people anyway.
hi Cassandra, this has happened to me too. I have been replaced by someone else and they go down our local pub, do you know what, yes it is hurtful, but you can move on from these horrid friends. I came off Facebook, as i saw photos and statuses that were boasting boasting. The main ring leader is a drama queen, you don't need to be involved with these types of friends, they are no good! Honestly you are better off without them, you just do stuff that make you happy. keep busy, live your life and make new friends if you can. A lot of friends are selfish, let them get on with it, you don't need them in your life. if I can move on, you can too, good luck! :)
I am sure you can make new friends. I think they are jealous of you.
Jammy Jay they are jealous of you, because you are maturing enough to know what is good from bad.. !!! so honestly thats how is goes !! I would say fuck them and move on from the situation.
M:Lys Music I totally understand that what I am saying to her...
And when they find out you found a new scene, they will suddenly invite themselves along, hijack it, destroy it, then move on and u be back to square 1 lol :)
Oh lord I wouldn’t even tell them about it.
Yeah. Had this happen to me this year. So unfair.
and then ur other friends are annoyed with u that they even came
That’s when hands get thrown.
OMG! This lady knows exactly what she's talking about. I have toxic female relatives that she described to a T. They are TOXIC people no matter who they are and have serious mental issues; it's always best to have as little to do with them as possible.
My siblings, and some ex friends. They used to always get together to go to a packer game, etc., but never invite me. Sometimes, they would use my place for a place to stay or meet up with each other. Etc. I need a new family.
Oh that sounds horrible! Lol.
😰 It was. It's nothing now.
You should move on and make your own new circle of friends that share the same passion for some of the hobbies you like. Me and my childhood friend just grew apart since he got a girlfriend in high school. He’s married to to her now and he’s always making plans to spend more time with his wife now. I also don’t like to invite him to eat at anymore restaurants when I’m with my dad. My dad is too talkative and he won’t let me say anything to my childhood friend.
Change the locks at your place.
I used to go out just so I would feel included with a friend and her group. I didn't enjoy their choice of scenes but when I realized she would never go to a place of my choice, I was honest about not really enjoying the places we'd go. I was ok with not being invited and she was kind enough to not brag about it too much, but boyyyy did we grow apart.
My friends (me and my two friends) they always make plans with each other and always tell me how fun it was but the never make plans with me. The last time I hung out with them was like 1 year ago and just today we were on Skype and they made sleepover plans in front of me and were talking on how fun it will be and they always reject my request to do stuff with them but they never invite me to do fun stuff. They are my only friends and they always ask to Skype with me but then I call and they are like " Oh sorry I'm with "friend #1" I cant talk. It bothers me so much! I just want to cry because they never include me I feel like they just want me out of the group but I'm way nicer then them and sometimes they just call me and are like together and then they are like partying and I just wish that I would have fun with them and then they are always like "I wish you were there" but they never invite/ask me to.
They are just trying to make you jealous next time they do that tell them off it worked with my friends and they actually admitted to doing it
Find better friends and then they come back to u believe me:/
It’s okay, I feel the same way. If they are purposely making you jealous and sad then they might not be your true friends.
I know I'm late for the party but dump those people they're not your friends don't Skype with them anymore they're doing that shit in front of you to hurt you why else would they make plans in front of you & not invite you?
@@laurenmichailidou1222 Those kind of friends are called frienemies and believe me, you do not want them coming back. Their toxic behavior may change for a little while but eventually they will just go back to trying to get their narcissistic fix.
Man, I have friends like that. They said they’re one of my best friends but they don’t treat me like it. They constantly make plans and go out together without me, and then when I ask why I wasn’t invited, one of them, ( Not saying names), will say, “Oh, it was just for us three.” In fact, at this time, Jan. 3rd, 6:06 PM, they’re having a sleepover right now. They didn’t bother to tell me, and they lied about having it. They knew they were having it, so they lied to me. They also never hang out with me or talk to me. If I want to have a conversation with them, I have to go to them, they never talk to me. When I ask to be partners with them for a group project, they say, “It’s just the three of us, sorry. Maybe next time.” Next time has never came. The time I finally tell them how I’m feeling, they accuse me of making them feel “guilty”. So, Autumn, Christine, And Bella: thanks. Thanks for being *amazing* friends, and for *always* including me and *always* being there for me. :/
Sorry that sounded like I was venting, I’ve kept this bottled up for a long time.
your so awesome Marie! It's like you know what I'm going through :]
Thank you Demetre, so glad I could help!
Marie you do the kind of videos I need right now.
My friend (not really anymore) just went to my other friends graduation party. They never invited me at all. I just saw all the fun they had without me. But this shouldn’t make me sad. I know now that I need new friends that care about me
I know it hurts now, but someday you will look back and realize this was the push you needed to make new friends. You can do it!
This happened to me twice. When I make plans, I always invited them and No one will be left out then One day, I saw them planning on something, but they never even mentioned me on their plans, and I got upset and I talked to them. They said they thought I was busy but, on my mind, "why they don't try it?" like say something like "hey, are your goanna join us or are you busy at this day?". I gave them another chance and another day; I saw them again making plans without me. They even brag how fan their hangouts. I talked to them that I got irritated when I am with them, and I have to cut ties. Sometimes you have to let go a friend like this to have better one because if you continue being friends with them you will never find a real friend that will never forget you and you are hurting yourself when being them when they just 'need' you. Remember, someone like you deserves a real friend no need to feel bad for them. It's their choice not yours.
True dat! I honestly gave em three chances and they ended excluding me , replacing me and stuff and I like an idiot am still friendly to em
They are jealous of you because you are beautiful and get most of the attention . They won’t even get notice .
i arrived here looking for answers about some people in my life.. i really like your answers Marie ;-)
This reminds me of the situation I'm dealing with now with my brother .
He decided to cut me out of his life over a communication misunderstanding .During a family group text he purposely ignored me .I noticed recently how happy and cheerful he was with others during another group text that I decided not to participate in.Its as if he was trying to rub it in my face.
I flagged the group chat as spam so I wouldn't have to read anymore from him
Very true. Good friends are ALWAYS good friends.
I used to think I'd be friends with some ladies...like forever but since I've been in a relationship we've drifted apart...life changes ...I love listening to your advice....thank you
Thank you Marie so much, you've honestly changed my life for the better. You've helped me blossom into the person I've always wanted to be. Im so glad I came across your videos because If not I would still be shy with no friends and afraid of the world. Thanks again your awesome!
that is what I am doing going to her videos for advice, since ive been having trouble with friends because of things that happened last year..i always feel so much better after watching her videos,and im always surprised that she seems to answer things i've always had questions about :)
I have a best friend for 30 yrs, she went to dinner with all the girls but left me out more than once. This hurt me greatly because she’s the only friend I had and she knew it. I was the family scapegoat and went no contact so I just lost my whole family she knew that also.
My heart goes out to you. I have a similar situation. I decided to start raising my standards and love myself more so I choose alone over crap like that. I have had enough heart break!
Her: make plans with other people Me: I don’t have any other people 💀
U have me and I create art
Im in exactly the same position
Yeah. I find out I hang out by myself with my pets and I love it!!
I feel you brother
You just keep moving on. People like that don't matter...truth will set you free.
Marie, you are so honest, thank you. Great advice.
This does not only happen in same gender friendships. I have had male platonic friends act fake towards me and ditch me - as adults!
Four three weeks in a row on Sunday nights at church specifically 4 girls I've been hanging out with since we met at church camp. For the last four weeks except last Sunday one had been influencing the others to click or have a convo where I can't talk unless the others say something to me. Now with the one influencing the 3 to somewhat exclude me there's one who's really nice and wanted me to come to church last Sunday because I had a side convo and told her with out saying why I was planning on not coming. So on Thursday night last week I texted them and asked if they wanted to do something Saturday Afternoon. I either got no answer or rejected to find out on Friday night 3 of them posted on Social media on how fun an ice skating rink event was. Then Sunday night comes and I regretted saying "Yes." To going to church that night but I got there and I felt confident. I go to sign my self in and get a name tag and I see the 3 of them of to the side talking. So I walk over and I can't remember much to be honest but all it was, was the three talking about two of them going to see Taylor Swift in Concert then going to buy an outfit to wear for the Concert and the clicky one invited her self to shop with them even though she's the one not going and I wanted too also but I didn't know how to do so politely. Then they started talking about going to see Paper Towns and that they're going to make it a girls night out thing and shop and stuff. It made me really upset and confused that I couldn't say anything. Then it starts and I go to sit by the nice one who's sitting by the other two. However after worshiping I got separated from them and I still don't know if it was an accident or on purpose. Then I sat by myself but 2 really nice girls that I'm starting to get to know more of invited me over to sit with them and I felt happier. What should I do next time when I see the clicky "friends?"
Elaina They are not real Christians, they are still full of self. Not all that calls themselves a Christian is a Christian!
Ignore them the clicky friends I mean they're toxic.
I don't hang out with people who "invite me to the party so I can see them ignoring me." LOL This is sort of the reverse of the same idea, "making sure someone hears that they have been left out." I don't call someone a friend who loves hurting me. I learned just recently there is a new saying; "frenemies", it sort of fits with our modern culture of rude people. I don't understand people who remain friends with someone who acts more like an enemy, makes no sense. I don't need a group, one or two friends is just fine with me. I am open to anyone and everyone except those who are in cliques.
Never listen to people's words. Always watch their actions. There is a reason for everything. They didn't tell you for a reason, they didn't invite you for a reason, and they are throwing it in your face for a reason. When they do this, they don't see you as a friend and they don't have the courage to tell you that they no longer see you as a friend. What does that say about their character? Just think about it.
Social media has made people have warped personalities!
I had a “friend” like this. Ditched me but would go on vacations with her other friends every year...never got an invite.
I just had this experience and I feel so bad. I'm a chat away but even if they know I can't come didn't even bother telling me. This did not only happen once but many times. I let it pass because I consider them friends. Since I'm petty, I come post something about how fake their friendship was and I'm on destructive mode to spill tea about how they talk trash about each other. 😂
Sadly, I live with these folks and I am a shut in! However, I am getting better and able to walk more now! I will take your advice!
what to do when its your FAMILY? Neice invited EVERYONE to her wedding, shower- great aunts, 2nd cousins, immediate family- everyone but me. Then has the stones to throw said parties on the land where my garden is, so I couldnt even relieve the pain with distraction. Almost a year later and my mom especially likes to talk about how much fun it was, complete with a blown up pic of her dancing with the neice. Good to know they were so concerned about MY feelings. Im 62. This has been a lifelong thing.
And no, I did NOTHING to my neice EVER. She hasnt spoken a word to me since she was a teenager. My brother/ her father has never done one thing about his spoiled brat. The RUDENESS is off the hook
Thank God, I am used to being left out. So it doesn’t bother me now. I love to spend times alone now.
I have a friend who does this. I invited her to everything, even my birthday plans before covid happened. Her birthday she had drinks and told me about her plans on the day but didn't invite me. I think they do it for two reasons.... 1) to come across as popular and leaving you out makes you feel less popular than them or 2) They do it to gossip about you behind your back to others who know you.
I have a good friend who has a lot of other friends and she tends to hang out with her "clique" more than me. Whenever I ask to hang out with her and make plans she's always busy! It's the most frustrating thing. I feel like she doesn't want to hang out with me. She's really sweet and nice but I just don't feel important to her anymore. She doesn't really make any effort to make time to hang out with me either. What should I do??
Abbie, only hang out with her when you have absolutely nothing better to do. She put you on the back burner...now you need to do the same. It's OK! Things could change with her, but don't hold your breath. This is a good opportunity to hone new friendships. You don't want to rely on one or two people for your entire social life anyway.
Same here
@@mariedubuque You’re damn right. I also had the same experience where me and my childhood friend grew apart when he got a girlfriend in high school. He always has other plans to spend more time with his wife now whenever i ask him if he wants to go hang out somewhere. I also don’t like inviting him to go to anymore restaurants when I’m with my dad. My dad is too damn talkative and he won’t allow me to talk to my childhood friend. That just isn’t cool not being allowed to say anything to my childhood friend.
I got a same situation
I just felt like I got the best advice from someone else's mother. ❤️
Thank you so much for your every advice. Each video of yours is so specific and yet so general that everyone can link one's self to it.
I agree - i now can be a part of a group if and only if people can agree to disagree. I also still find one-on-one relationships to be more important and enjoyable. MY family is a great group and I enjoy my roommates and partner's roommate's/friends, but in the end I only need those who support me too.
It happens to me all the time, and it's one of the reasons I've been single for over twenty years.
Everyone I know goes to these events that turn out to be more fun than they let on and never even bother to ask me if I wanna tag along. It's how I learned 3 things.
1: I'll be single for the rest of my life (which wouldn't be so frustrating if loneliness wasn't an issue)
2: coworkers are not my friends, because they always pretend to care out of kindness but then turn things around and act like you owe them which is in fact connected to
3: I have no friends, because real friends at least ask you if you want to come along and have a good time but if you say you don't and they can sense that you're not at your best in life they'll get on your case til you say yes because real friends genuinely care. But I don't have any of those, but I'm used to it.
People act to competitive thinking they are better then you they’re like hah hah you missing out i feel they are gossiping behind my back they are like a back stabbers that do that
Happens to me all the time. This is why I want nothing to do with other people and totally hate and dispise people. I'm good enough when they want something off of me, however if I need anything, they aren't around. Even my family members have shut me out of their lives going around saying cruel and hurtful things sbout me, so I just go up into my room, close and lock my door and stay in my room away from them completely. What else and whare else can you go then.
I once had tow friends that literally called me every time they went out, talk to me for less than a minute and then they would just hung up.
Seems to happen alot on social media.... bragging about what they are doing but don't invite you.... ❤️
People like that make villains and then the world brags about the villains ignoring the real villain
Back in high school, I was (still am) a very good soccer player (goalkeeper) and I was one of the best in the region. I had just moved and I didn't know that many people, so I went to the local football club and joined. People were pretty impressed and I made "friends" with the teammates, whenever there was a game or training I was the first person to be called. But then, they'd make plans to go to the pub, play pool and party right in front of me and not invite me but they'd ask point blank if I could make it next game. So, I got really mad at this and during gameday I turned off my phone and left the team. I had 43 missed calls ahahaha
They were obviously jealous of you
I had a lifelong friend like that. The last time he tried that crap I didn't answer the phone. After numerous tries to get a hold of me he left a message saying to never call him again. Total narcissist that loves to get under people's skin and he had a total narcissistic breakdown because he could not engage me in this activity any longer. I was very glad to finally have him out of my life. I have been trying to get rid of this jackass for 30 years. It actually started a trend for me and I removed everyone in my life that was toxic or provided no value. Best thing I ever did. I do not have many friends now which proves how many toxic pieces of garbage walk this earth but the ones that I do have are top-shelf. Quality over quantity.
As much as I respect what your saying, no one is worth that much thought.
Thanks a million for this video. I REALLY needed this
*I have two friends (friend A and B) and the three of us are all supposed to be friends. Friend A contacted Friend B to go out and neither of them asked me along. I tried my best to casually insert myself since I know we are all friends so I didn't think it would be an issue. I spoke to Friend B about it and she basically told me in a very obnoxious way that because Friend A was the one who initiated the plan, it "wasn't her call". Of course, this is bs because she was 1/2 of the people involved and if she wanted to have me come along she could have made it happen. People just care about themselves sometimes*
Very sensible.. some of us stay way too long.. all while we were disrespected.. it’s so wrong
I am facing this in my workplace.I feel like my two female colleagues are mistreating me and excluding me. Makes me go behind them for any help . Now they started to make plans with one of my newly joined colleague. I don't really say anything, I just sit and see what they do.makes me get hurt always.
Give The Gift Of Your Absence to those Who do not Appreciate your Presence👍
But that does not work. They already want your absence which is why they leave you out.
@@cliffkelley6550 That's why it's a gift to them. Your gift to yourself is different friends.
You are saying... Great advice! This seems like advice for teens. However, I'm middle aged and expense this. Never had a problem until the last couple of years.
My friends are worst than these people they discuss all the plans with me and get ready leave without me. Sometimes they don't tell where they are going but ask me how they are looking etc etc then sometimes they tell they are going out with a few of them but never ask me would you come. I have told them twice now that all these behaviour makes me feel left out and alone yet still they do it now I just cut them off I am alone with such type of friends anyway
Thanks Marie .you have helped me...your a pretty neat person.
If I don't feed their ego they totally ignore me.
Whole point is not to be their doormat. So if they ignore you, that meant this is your chance to have peace in your life. You don't need them. If you feel the need to do anything to get them to like you, they are taking advantage of you.
I was the friend who didn't include someone once... I realized I was much happier when she isn't around because she was kind of a self centered asshole and I had to play babysitter every time she was anywhere. Learning to push shitty people away saved my sanity during my adult years
There are many words I would use to describe these people…friends is not one of them!
I had so-called friends in high school who did that to me . They did it to me all the time . Realised they were jealous and I got deleted because I surpassed them in my career and life . They got mad at me for playing guitar better than them and deleted after I got accepted into a finals for a singing competition and got a fiancé . I don’t get it . They. Thought I was beneath them. And hated being proven otherwise .
Thank you so much for your help!
My friends excluded me from an occasion that we were going to go to altogether :(
Another great video. I just love & appreciate these videos so much! I hope you have a very happy new year, Marie!
Love this channel & you Marie! You are brill and your advice is top notch. Thank you :)
Thank you, Boxy's, you made my day!
1 other people is often enough for me!😉
Awesome advice!💜
I am very much an introvert and very happy not being a part of any group of people. I thought all that nonsense ended after high school. They are very insecure people and I don't need them.
The people surrounding me all do this to me... I don’t want to drop my only friends though
you're tips are really elaborate and everything, but the problem is my school is very small. my genuine friends are also friends with my toxic friends, so i can never avoid them. i'm friends with everyone but the creeps and losers, and they hate me, so i can never go to them. i regret my decisions now and its mostly my fault i can never get out of my toxic friendships
Ok so I'm in a group of four, all girls. One of them, let's call her (B) is my best friend. So I have strict parents and I usually can't hang out and (B), my best friend btw, always tells me how much fun she had without me with (M), another friend of ours. Last night the two made plans for today literally in front of me and when I said something (B) just said
Oh yeah I'm coming over to (M)'s tomorrow. I just saw them post a story together. The 4th friend, (S), isn't really involved in any of this drama.. Once, I confronted B about all of this bragging bcz M isn't really doing anything to hurt me, she just didn't invite me once which is fine. And B just said something among "Really, don't take offense to this but I think your just jealous". She's been my best friend for 5 years and I don't know anything beside her. She's normally a good friend and always tells me her secrets and I tell her mine, we go out together without inviting M and S but u feel like that's fine cause me and B are BEST friends, And S and M are just our FRIENDS after all. Plus I never make plans in front of them. I don't want to break any friendships, I just want to innocently get revenge
You have 1 sentence that say you cannot hang out because of your strict parents then you have another sentence that say you both hang out without M and S. That meant you already disobeyed your parents. If B finds out that you have strict parents, B could already squeal on you. If you have strict parents, then you are not in any position to beg any of your friends to hang out. You are better off being left out. If you hang out without B's consent, B could already tell your parents if B were to know you actually have strict parents. So you need friends that actually keeps your secret. Like for example, can any of them visit you without your parents noticing? Normally, if you don't know them that well, or if that other party member knows them longer then you, they have an upperhand over a newcomer. They know you less because you had to deal with curfews from your parents while they didn't. Your part is you don't know them enough and you dealt with strict parents. If you continue to have strict parents, you will be force to have lesser connections and pretty soon, they will have a power to say because we know each other the longest. Just like how B said to you they were best friend for 5 years. That also meant none of them dealt with strict parents and which meant they had already built a bond. Your issue needs to be your parents because if you hang out with your group less and always need your parents permission, this is exactly how that group knows you less then the other party member. You need to know what you want. If you wanted to please your parents, then don't hang out with friends period. If you wanted to hang out with friends more often, it is required that your parents must never be strict with you in the 1st place. All your other friends have connections because they did not deal with strict parents. You don't want to end up getting invited only for your parents to tell you no. If you have strict parents, friends will have a good reason to exclude you and you don't get to even get innocent revenge on them. If you even want to get innocent revenge your friends, your barriers would be going through your parents first.
What’s hard is trying to make plans with other people, trying to make friends with other guys is hard and weird at times and ngl I struggle at getting women…. I’m very lonely nowadays
My friends never ever treat me this way... MY FAMILY DOES THIS... FOR 4 DECADES and counting
You're my fav life coach on yt! 😊
It's simple. If they are doing these things, then they are not you're friends.
A close friend was invited to a birthday party.. not being invited or included, at first, hurt my feelings - the event was planned or was discussed months in advance. The party’s honoree was best friends with my late sister... being omitted or excluded isn’t the end of the world.. we are all past middle age now. There are three people who know me, and my close friend will be driving 600 miles to attend the party.. I will be in the same town and we also planned a beach vacation after the party( the honoree isn’t going with us to the beach)... this entire situation hurt the most when the birthday women or honoree told me that her two adult children had set up and planned the party... this woman emailed me “ we had to cut back on the number of invitations ... but IF someone cancels , I’ll pencil you in”... this was extremely rude and hurtful ... I assured her that I had alternate plans for that evening. My close friend did stand up for me, though. All of us, ironically, have known each other for years. Topping this off, my father in law, in the same town , died , and his memorial service is very soon... and all three plan to attend his service, which is the weekend before her birthday party! It’s good to know that I’m not the only person... and that this type of thing has happened to others. And I’m not in a “ clique “. Being omitted never feels good. Btw, the party lady is turning 80. The party ends at 9 pm in a public venue in virginia. My late sister went to college with this lady... which is why it was so hurtful. Se la vi.
That is horrible! I can totally understand how you feel hurt and betrayed. And the worst part is when she said, "I will pencil you in if someone cancels." What??!! Like this is some kind of dental appointment...Unbelievable. And she has a history with your late sister. This is what I would do. Since the awful birthday woman isn't going to the beach with you and your friends, go on the trip anyway! Have fun despite what she did. No way should this woman ruin your plans with your friends. So, while your friends are at the party, go to the spa. There should be one at the hotel. Then you will be all ready for the beach when they return. Whatever you do, do not allow this tactless woman to ruin your plans! And remember, this woman has a problem. Possibly she is jealous of you or intimidated by you...whatever, it is her issue, not yours. And it sounds like your other friends are ones to hold on to.
I have a friend like this, he seems to make me the favor in going out with me, I just made a good new friend and I am ditching the bad one, feels good!😂
I used to think you were weird and boring now you explain my life 😢😢😢😢😢
My mom used to do that. And then say I'm so sensitive for being upset.
Thank you! Just the tonic I needed.
Thank you, I needed to hear this
That’s when you know they are not your friends
Thank you for this!!
One on is usually better. You get to know a person a lot better one on one. Group conversations tend to be more shallow.
I love your advise!!! I binged severall videos already. Thank you!
Thank you❤😊
The problem is that my parents don’t really let me hang out with my friends from school, but they let me hang out with my best friends that aren’t from my school. I honestly don’t let it bother me, because the friends from my school have been told no from me soo many times that they stopped asking to make plans. Honestly i feel uncomfortable hanging out with my “group of friends” from school because we just aren’t that close. But i rather hang out with my best friends because its like I don’t even need to plan anything, I can just be myself around them.
It’s very hurtful which is the point. I say that’s great you had a great time 👍leave it at that
Your best to not be involved emotionally too much with friends- there’s plenty more people around- if they aren’t nice people- I run a mile. Stuff them- life’s too short for dramas.