Michael McIntyre - Best Jokes about Planes and Airports REACTION
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2023
- #MichaelMcIntyre #Airports #Planes
Jodi and Nick react to a compilation of jokes about planes & airports from Michael McIntyre.
We all get excited to travel but maybe not the travel part. Let us know your horror stories about travel.
Original video found: • Compilation Of Michael...
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One of the great pleasures that I found with moving floors is to get on them and to walk as fast as you can while observing the speed at which the surroundings go past at a rate not normally experienced. This experience is enhancing.
So good! I’m seeing him live next month in Sydney! Can you do the Michael McIntyre “herbs and spices” next?
Five spice 😂
I'M FIVE SPIIICE 😂😂
@@wut274 I’m Sage 😂
That’s a brilliant one.
As a pilot he is so spot on. There is a reason why I fly freighters and it's a increasingly popular path for pilots. Flying the backside of the clock takes some getting used to but the plus side is not dealing with terminals and pax! My pet peeve is people who stand close to the baggage carousel, makes me furious. I'm with Jodi as well as the moving floor thing and Nick you're spot on with the muppets jumping on their feet.
I was always under the impression that the reason you raise the blinds on take off or landing is so that when (if) you crash, the Recoverers can just look through the windows to count all the bodies without having to struggle through the burnt interior.
Oh my, the ropes! This exact thing happened to us coming back from hols, landed at Manchester. Loads of ropes, a long single file of Brits weaving up and down the empty rope system, I remember thinking to myself, "This is the most bizarre thing I've ever done" but still carried on, certainly wasn't going to break rank and be seen as a rebel! 🤣
Wise move, the noise from all the others tutting would have been unbearable.
Yes, it's so true about us Brits. My friend and I arrived back in Heathrow after a holiday abroad last year and the arrivals hall was absolutely deserted, but we all slowly weaved our way through the ropes and it took ages for us to get to passport control at the other end.... 😂
Thanks for doing more McIntyre guys, much appreciated, look forward to the next one.
Flew from LHR to JFK but as I was early at LHR, I was asked if I would take an earlier flight, I said yes, when would that be, she said now! I was rushed through security and shoved on the plane and the door slammed shut behind me and EVERYONE on the plane looked at me as if I was the one that kept them all waiting!
I thought to myself "I hope this plane doesn't crash" because my wife would think it was lucky that it wasn't my plane and then found out it was mine.
As we got close to the American coastline, the plane dropped out of the sky and things were hitting the ceiling, people, I say people, let's get this straight, Americans were screaming and praying not to die, I looked around the plane thinking what was wrong with these people and my eye caught the eye of another bod looking around in total bewilderment, I gave the international sign of WTF, shoulder shrug and screwed up face and he gave me the same look. I thought two things to myself, I bet he's English and for the 2nd time, if we go down, my wife won't know.
In the queue for the rotund Ronald McCustoms bloke, a posh voice from behind me said what on earth was all that about and we spoke about how the praying mob scared the daylights out of their own kids by praying that they didn't die in a fireball today!
It was on that flight I thought how strange Americans were!
They're an easily excited bunch of folk, but generally pretty harmless.
great little compilation thx guys!!
Brand new sub....love ya'lls stuff!!
i love Micheal McIntyre :)))
Guys that was funny. Not traveled much on aircraft. From seeing this I'm ki d of glad. Although train journey can sometimes be just as fun. 😊
The blinds are nothing to do with cooler but having your eyes adjusted to the light in an emergency.
Flying from the UK to LA back in the 80's... Someone took ill on the plane and we diverted to Reykjavik in Iceland so they could be taken to hospital. Sat on the runway there for 6 hours with no food or drink... Staring out at pouring rain.. Waiting for a flight slot. Pilot kept saying we'd be taking off "momentarily".
Finally left Iceland... Missed connecting flight in Chicago... Finally got to LA about 26hrs after leaving the UK... And my case turned up 2 days later! Very stressful!
Pilot here: A few reasons for the blinds:
1. If it’s night time, if you need to evacuate quickly in an emergency, you’ll be surprised how pitch black it is outside. People get to the bottom of the slide and stop there as they can’t really see where to go. We turn the lights off and open the blinds to give your eyes some time to adjust so it doesn’t slow the evacuation.
2. If there is an emergency and a pilot or cabin crew member wants to look out of a window to, say check for damage, they don’t want to lean across and open blinds, they want to look down the cabin and see through every window.
3. If there is an incident, the person sat next to that window, might have seen what happened and can advise what they saw, but would most definitely have missed it if the blind was down. Something that might be crucial in a witness statement during an investigation.
Hope that helps.
Also, if the plane was to crash on takeoff or landing the rescue teams will be able to see what's happening inside.
My pet hate on planes is when the plane has landed…the SECOND it touches down and people take off their seat belts….really annoys me - the seatbelt signs are still on, the plane is moving you idiots, sit down and wait!! … I usually just wait until almost everyone is off before getting up and getting my stuff, the race to get off is hilarious and stupid.
Most of the time you have to wait 10 minutes at least before the doors even open, so why bother standing up immediately?
You guys so funny I’m off to US in 2 weeks and laughing already at my team at US customs and ropes 😂
My dad works for British Airways and I've been on more planes than I can count, so I can confirm this is all true 😂
Well the auto subtitles said
"welcome to p**n reviews"
🤣🤣🤣
holy crap why and how did the subs make that kind of screw up porn reviews that made me chuckle
I've seen that before too, but there are some even worse ones out there 😁
@@grabtharshammer I subscribe to a CZcams cooking channel called Chris the Butcher and Friends, and because he's from Lancashire in the North of England, the subtitles can't quite understand him, I regularly see "welcome back to Crystal Butcher I'm French" the first time that happened I just had to comment something along the lines of "ooooh we're going to learn Geology, Cooking, and French all the one video" 🤣
It would be ace to see you check out British comedian Jasper Carrot, His insurance claims sketch is a great one.
I want glasses like jodis
Do Micky flanagan miserable at fifty from back in the game
I'm not a nervous flyer, but my wife is. First time we flew together we were back in cattle class around the wings. She's got the window seat gawking around with the blind up. Then into the flight she grabs my arm and says... 'The wing is flapping'... I just pulled the blind down and dozed off again. Wouldn't let her pull the blind up again on the landing approach. We were coming in just ahead of a thunderstorm and she didn't need that stress.
Oh my, never let her watch the Twilight Zone episode, Terror at 20'000 Feet! 🥶😅
Some time ago I flew on a flight in South America and the seat belt had no buckle. The stewardess suggested I tie the straps in a knot. Well better than nothing, right.
The blinds on a plane are open and the lights dimmed during take off and landing so that if there is an emergency, your eyes will already be adjusted to the light/darkness outside of the aircraft.
Why do people get on the travelator and STILL WALK and overtake you !?
I heard they leave the blinds open so emergency services can see inside the plane if it crashes.
I remember once when I was on a trip to Amsterdam the passport control guy wouldn't believe I was the person in my passport photo, and I had to keep telling him - that is me. He had to get his supervisor to come and look, then eventually they let me through
I often take the 'non-moving floor' option, because there are some people who get on the 'moving walkway' and stand still blocking the path. They don't seem to realise it's a moving WALKWAY! Having been sat down on a plane for hours you'd think they'd be wanting to loosen up with a brisk walk...
Not long after 9/11, my wife and I were returning to UK from the Far East. As you can imagine, the line at passport control was massive. Since my wife wasn't a UK citizen at the time, she had to line up in the non UK citizen queue, which was twice the length of the queue I was in. Just ahead of her were a bunch of college age lads from the USA, and as I passed by they loudly proclaimed their frustration at the time it was taking to get to the front of the line. Then one of them said: 'can't we just hold up our US passports and push our way to the front?' I think that the filthy disgusted look I gave them put them off!
Right up untill the late 1990's / 2000's I had only ever taken off in a plane 4 times, never landed though (parachute Jumps) My first ever flight in a proper big commercial plane was from London to Dallas, 10.5 hours, quite a first experience. My longest journey was 23.5 hours flying to Australia. But my best flight was on a flight to Barcelona for a business meeting, they were having a bit of a storm when we got there. Coming in to land, I didn't mind the bouncing up and down so much, suddenly leaving your stomach 3 feet above you as the plane dropped, it was the plane sliding 12 feet to one side suddenly that was a bit off putting. Two or three times the Pilot tried to bring us down, having to circle around and try again. Eventually they gave up and redirected us to one of the Holiday Islands (Majorca? or similar). We had a whip round to buy the extra fuel as you do, but they put us up for the night in a very nice Hotel on the Island. Sadly I never did get the chance to socialise with the flock of beautiful fashion models that were flying there for a photoshoot, still the business meeting went well eventually. I have always wondered why planes don't carry one or two extra parachutes, just for the people who have some experience of jumping out of aeroplanes at over 80 mph?
Blinds are left up so that if anything happens during take-off and landing then your eyes will already be used to the dark or the light outside, and you'll be able to react more quickly
When you said delayed flights l thought...Dave Allen Airplanes you have to react to that one.
I went to a night of comedy - a benefit night for the Grenfell disaster at the Hammersmith Apollo in London.
It was a who’s who of big British comics, about 15-20 of them.
Micky Flanagan and Michael McIntyre were there and McIntyre was the main act. We’d seen Micky Flanagan a few times and he was brilliant and tbh, I used to like McIntyre but by this time I felt he was a bit “meh”. Anyway, Micky Flanagan was relatively poor (for him), but Michael McIntyre had the audience eating out of his hands, he was brilliant. He made an elite list of comedians look poor in comparison. So glad you’ve started reviewing him, I have a new found love for the guy. Love your shows (except Lee Evans who I just can’t find funny - I’ve tried!)
I can see why a parent or someone with mobility impairments would want to be on early. In first class you get your drink, but beyond that, I would much rather be the last person on. Never understood the rush to board, especially with assigned seats.
Barrie, not there.
One reason for NOT taking the travelator is to stretch your legs after umpteen hours of being confined to one seat. It was my regular procedure.
As far as I am aware there is a reason for the window blinds being "up" for take off and landing. Quite simply those on the outside need to be able to see in clearly. Maybe it's an anti-terrorism thing...?
Have you tried to get Bill Bailey ? Cheers
I kinda like flying but never been economy usually go Business or first if they have it
The blinds have to go up so emergency crews outside can assess the situation if needed
I’m not sure that we should let you off the spelling of “Michael” in the video title!
Please try Michael's skit women getting ready
I wait tol last what's the point you getting there any quicker
You say you're not a massive fan of flying, and then mention a trip to the UK that you are planning. You are aware that is about 5-7 HOURS on a plane, I take it? I'm not a massive fan of flying either, but my longest flight stands at 2½ hours from Birmingham (UK) to Rome (Italy). That is long enough for me before I get completely bored out of my skull.
Oh it’s going to be much longer than that. About 11 hours on the flight to England. Trust me I am not looking forward to doing that twice. But I’m excited for the trip itself b
Nope...im british and always go over the ropes. Muppets queue.
My worst travel experience was having to catch a connecting flight at Bahrain, should have only been in Bahrain for an hour so no need to go through passport control.
Then the connecting flight was cancelled and the 1 hour became about 18, the airline rep told me to go through passport control and I'd be put up for the night in a hotel.
Ten minutes later a pissed off Arab is calling over gun totting guards and I'm taken away and stuck in a room not knowing what the hell is going on, turns out they didn't like the fact I'd visited Israel.
The Bahraini's refused to have their stamp in the same passport as an Israeli one so I had a choice spend at least 18 hours tolerating the lack of amenities in the international part of the airport or leave my passport at the airport, go to the hotel and when returning to the airport hand over the receipt they've given me...Which is written in Arabic and could say sodomise the infidel to death for all I knew.
I put my butt on the line and spent a restless night in a very nice hotel, the return journey involved a connecting flight in Saudi, thank god that one was on time. The Saudi's aren't as laid back as the Bahraini's.
That's lee Evans sketch is that with the I want to pee and moving floor.