I Relapsed on Alcohol for 5 Long Months (How Easy it Can Happen)
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- čas přidán 18. 06. 2024
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Working 75 hours a week for 4 months is not an intelligent plan for someone trying to stay sober. Stress is a well known driver back to the bottle.
Pretty sure he’s not telling the truth
yup
The opposite is true for me, free time gives space for drinking that I don't have while working. I put in for overtime knowing that it will keep me occupied and NOT drinking.
Its better to encourage him than saying some negative thing....
At least he tried something and were sober for long time.
Next time he will do better.
Yeah I was gonna say… maybe that has something to do with the alcoholism? Unattainable life styles def contribute to substance abuse.. have to address healing from a lifestyle perspective. Sounds like he hasn’t identified life style problems leading to abuse.
Hey man my name is Jacob as well and I’m 31, I’m trying to stop drinking all together, it’s kinda tough but your videos help motivate me. thanks, and you can do it 👍
I could never have "1".....sober 24 years this July
Day 67 here. Was drinking a litre of vodka and a sixpack daily. Last time I drank I ended up in hospital in the alcohol dependency ward with a severe concussion and 17 staples in my head. It has been a nightmare the last few days. Happy I have managed to not pick up. The Scotland v Switzerland game is away to start in half an hour. I have a voice in my head saying 'go buy a sixpack it not too late'. Like I was ever happy with a sixpack. Thanks for posting. Keep strong. Nearly another day without alcohol. Stay strong.
You try AA?
A litre of vodka daily wow that's crazy
@JT0007 Yes. I was in rehab 2001 for opiates/alcohol. Relapsed and got clean in 2003. Was going to na till covid. Relapsed in '22 after 19 years clean. Very very messy after that. Thankfully swerved opiates but got into severe iv cocaine use. Stopped Dec 10th after wrecking myself mentally and physically. Ended up drinking every day after that unable to face people and suffering psychosis. Struggle to go out at the moment but have friends in recovery that are there for me. Thanks for the reply. Thank God I didn't pick up today. Stay safe thanks for posting vids 🙏
@Tom_3017 the shakes every day until I could buy more were horrendous. I never bought more than a litre and a sixpack because I would have just kept drinking until I had alcohol poisoning. Day 67 nearly over ❤️
@@flemwadthat sound’s horrendous bro, Well done for turning your life around
Don't pick up the first drink. It's an AA must. One day at a time. Sober head on the pillow, before sleep. Rinse and repeat. there ain't no other way, bro.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am on day 5.
I was close to 4 months sober, and decided stupidly to have a drink.
I relapsed for like a month and a half....
I have to remind myself, alcohol never changes. and I never change.
I have to remind myself to "play the tape"
It picks up right where it left off....
Used to, I could drink 4 on night one and if i kept going it would only be one or two extra per night.
The swiftness I got myself back up to roughly 12-16 drinks and buying a box of wine every 3 days was so quick its scary.
I pray that you feel better. I pray that you find your sobriety.
AA really works for me. I know some people are iffy about it, and I get it for sure. For me what helps the best is the fellowship and just being around people who understand me and that I can talk to about it with. You don't have to follow the book exactly. We say in my home group, the book is just suggestions.
Maybe try out a zoom AA meeting? Just google zoom aa meetings or I can provide a link if you would like. As I said you dont need to agree with AA per se, one thing that helps me is hearing other peoples stories because it motivates me to stay sober.
Im here to talk! I noticed you just posted this. So feel free to reply, I'm here and praying for you either way.
Day by day, minute by minute and hour by hour. That's how you have to look at this. Cheering for you in Cocoa Beach Florida. I'm sober almost a year now and some days are more different difficult than others. I know this is a cliche but baby steps, prayer + consistency.
Just the fight to be sober is a huge step toward success, I have no doubt you'll be one of those popular CZcamsrs who have changed their lives around and living off CZcams royalties.
Kiwi here bro I relapsed since January after 3 months changing my life getting healthy asf n huge changes.
I'm now 2 weeks sober again and just enjoying the journey tbh I know I can't do 1 drink now I can't have 1 beer ever it will always lead to self sabotage
Good luck big boy I'm cheering for you found your channel last night very relatable real content
Learn from it, and move forward. Have a clear vision of where you want your life to be.
What got me sober was booking a holiday, and I told myself, I will not drink for 4 months (I was already at the end of my tether here, fat, miserable, isolated, broke) And when the holiday is here I will have a blow out. When I’m looking ripped and jacked from working out. The holiday came round and my life was so much better that I was terrified of drinking again. That was 2 years ago.
I was an alcoholic for 15 years, from 17-32. I drank basically everyday between those times. The last 10 years I was on 12-15 drinks average a day. Blacking out most evenings in my city, fighting, getting arrested, stealing, breaking into places for fun. I never in my life thought I could change. I thought my life was doomed. Everyday hell, Groundhog Day. So I get it buddy, I get how you’re feeling. I made probably 100 videos like this. And I was too embarrassed to upload them.
One thing that has helped me immensely, is running, it almost cured my life long anxiety and depression and adhd symptoms, at least by 70%. The first months are really tough, but when you get to around 4-6 months you start feeling amazing.
(I wrote this running bit before the end of the video lol, awesome job with the running that’s fucking awesome lol. 65k is no joke. You have amazing potential, that’s great)🎉🎉🎉🎉
All the best brother, you got this. I believe in you. I can tell you are a smart dude. You’re gonna get this done.
Man, I wish I could just sit with you face to face and tell you about my experiences. I am about 5 and a half years sober now, it too me 15 years of attempting to quit while maintaining a 7 day a week cycle to finally kick it. I was 32 my last drink and I already had liver trouble, insomnia, alcohol induced anxiety, I was in a perpetual hangover for years, I couldn’t eat without it, and when I wasn’t drinking I was thinking or scheming ways to get to where I wanted to be. I had an episode my last go round where I didn’t want to live anymore and I was convinced my only way to get sober was to end everything. The cops from Maine to New Hampshire where searching for me, my Wife was putting enough money on the debit card periodically so they could track my movements when I was buying alcohol, Man it was a MESS. I don’t know what made me go home that night, and I don’t remember anything about it, but I know when I woke up the next day I was officially too tired to drink anymore and I knew my outcome if I continued, so I got to work. I had to isolate myself down to zero friends, I found a hobby to fill my time, and I took different routes home so I wasn’t passing my comfort stores. Days turned to weeks, turned to months, and once I hit that first year it was no looking back. I will be honest, my Wife got pregnant in there and having a Son ensured I could not go back nor do I desire too. But I did also learn I needed to quit for Me to be the best version of Me. Since quitting I have made a career change, started a business, been a stable and present Father 24/7 for four years now, lost 100 pounds, made my marriage stronger, and I am sure have given myself years on my life.
The secret to quitting is learning to love yourself my Man. Learn that you’re worth the time invested in your sobriety. You seem like a rather intelligent Guy but I would venture a guess there is some pain you’re running from. Confront your demons, and love yourself. I pray for your sobriety and I hope you see how beautiful the world is without a clouded lens. Best of luck Amigo. 🙏🏻
Very wise words.
One day at a time brother. The only drink you need to focus not having is the first one.
While I don’t deal with addiction, I do deal with recurring mental illness. My counselor told me to throw everything into helping myself. Therapy, medication, eating well, sleeping well, drinking water, exercising, healthy relationships, learning about mental health, balance in everything. I’ve found spiritual self education and practice useful too. First, I’d get in contact with a substance use therapist. Good luck to you. I wish you the best in your recovery. You can do it. Be compassionate with yourself always. ✌🏼
I love you man, you can do this shit. Get in a support group if you aren't. The CZcams accountability is great!
what is youtube accountability?? I never heard of this! please tell me more. I cannot drive right now because my car has to be fixed from hail damage. I'm going through the same thing as him with binge drinking and relapsing for me personally. I cant drive right now so havent been able to make it to my home group. I do zoom AA meetings but I look for any help I can get while Im stuck at home. Thanks for posting that btw!
@@---cx1ly I only mean his approach of posting a video committing to sobriety so that he can feel accountable to his viewers and not letting them down. I don't have the magic bullet for curing addiction - just trying to be supportive. The best thing I have found is self help books. Doesn't work for everyone, works for me. I like 'the power of now' eckhart tolle on audiobook.
My heart goes out to you, you're so self aware and yet you feel like you can't stop. A passenger in your own brain just watching the process happen again and again. I don't have any answers, luckily I'm 1 year 9 months sober tomorrow and did it with my wife after 20+ years of weekend binge drinking that turned into years of weekend benders. Luckily we didn't have any cravings, we just stopped and it was like we never drank to begin with. I wish I could give you my experience of getting sober. It hurts to see you struggle. Best of luck my man.
That anxiety you feel when you say to yourself you'll never drink again tells me you havent found the reason why you drink just yet. What are you going to miss when you never drink again? Ive been there man. Marking off 2 years sober in about 2 months. That anxiety is where the solution is at. Thats the reason you drink. Thats the thing you dont want to confront. You cannot outrun that demon. It will catch up to you. You have to confront it. Less talk, more action.
I know... agony watching him torture himself.. yet he often says "I'm proud of myself " or "I'm strong" etc..
The Ego must goooooooo!
No rock bottom in sight here..
@@mermaidtales4009 Sometimes we say those words but that doesn't mean we believe them.
We love you buddy don’t worry about the comments some will be helpful some will be mean but we all support you ❤❤❤❤
I know you say you can't commit to never drinking ever again, I get it, I was like that too. But can you at least fully commit to a year of sobriety? A month or two just isn't long enough, but if you commit to a year I guarantee by the end of it your life will be so much better that you will never want to drink again, and the thought of never drinking again won't be scary at that point. Taking one day at a time is all good, but it's also kinda vague. I would recommend to committing to a solid goal of one year of sobriety. That's what I did and it worked for me. I only planned to give for a year, but at the end of that year I just kept going and it had become my new life
I was the same, the thought of giving up forever seemed impossible so I said I’ll stop for a year, I’m 10 months in and I can quite confidently say I will never drink again
I think a year is too abstract. It's better to commit to sobriety daily.
I dont necessarily agree with putting a time limit on it. It can seem too daunting.
What I did in 2021 is I told myself I was going to "stay sober for as long as I possibly could, and just see what happened".
I ended up 8 months sober with only a one night slip in the middle which considering I will usually drink night after night if I slip, I didnt necessarily consider it a relapse since I almost never stop after just one night. But whatever call it whatever you want its just an opinion imho.
I ended up moving back out of home, working 40 hour weeks at a restaurant of all places, made a lot of money and got my own apartment. Had my own life.
That is why we say, "one day at a time". Especially early sobriety. Commit to today. And if you "commit to today" every day, well yeah, it eventually will turn into a year.
Anyways thanks for letting me clarify for you. have a good day.
I am doing a year. After the year, I am sure I’ll commit to another year
@@joystiicks5680 Just sharing what worked for me. I tried and failed so many times at doing the "just one day at a time" or "just make it a couple of months" thing, in my opinion it's too vague. I never had a clear, solid goal to work towards. Eventually after years of failed attempts I made the commitment to myself to just do a year, and to not concern myself with whatever happens after that year. This is what it finally worked for me. A year may seem like too far away and too abstract at the begining, but then before you know it a year has passed and you realise how fast a year actually fies by. When I reached the end of that year there wasn't even a doubt in my mind that I'm going to be sober for the rest of my life.
Drinking sucks....It's poison I do not miss.....You got this, rooting for you mate.
You are doing your best my man, keep at it!
Stay strong brother. Wishing you the best, you'll be in my prayers.
You'll gain momentum as you go! A day seems like nothing now, but when it turns into a month, two months you'll be unstoppable
I can relate so much. Loving your videos by the way. Keep them coming. Good luck buddy
Also please ignore any of the ignorant comments. I went through and read all of the comments. Theres just a couple on here I saw of ignorant presumably children who have not experienced very much out of life yet and are in for a rude awakening.
You're doing great!
One thing these people who are rude don't get, is that in AA, a huge part of the program is sharing. It helps to get it out, it helps to remind yourself why you don't want it anymore, and it helps other people to either seek help themselves or to stay sober. These children are too young or priveleged to understand much. They had better hope they don't carry the genetics and pass it on to their own kids and have to deal with the pain one day.
You did the right thing in posting this. F what any of the haters say. Sharing is a blessing that God wants us to do so that we can all help eachother out, and not feel so alone in this disease.
Ok God bless, again, just ignore em they haven't lived much of life yet and are very very naive.
Much love from the USA
A teaspoon of honey every 3-4 hours will help with the withdrawals for the first two weeks. If you set a timer every time you have a craving it will only last 25 minutes, get up get active and go for a short walk
Self-Compassion mate:). If you can arrive at a place where you DON'T WANT to drink, instead of the mindset of "I CAN'T, or I'M NOT ALLOWED", it could make a significant difference in your approach man. Re-calibrate, and remember your reasons why. How do you get there? That is unique to YOU....🤜🤛
What a legend you came 18 in that race boom what a legend ❤❤ your mind set is strong take it hour by hour ❤❤❤
Im consider someone who "chronically relapses". Let's just keep trying. We do recover. Your videos help me stay sober when I feel edgy
Respect for your video's, it helped me soo much. Live near Amsterdam Holland and its soo hard to be sober... Wish you all the best
Best of luck to you, you can do this. I visited Amsterdam last year at a time I was considering sobriety and I can definitely imagine how hard it is to live near there. I went there on a sightseeing trip with my wife hoping I would just drink moderately and ended up couldn't control myself, especially with alcohol being cheaper than where I'm from. But I'm 8 months sober now. Getting sober was still the hardest part, staying sober hasn't been as difficult as long as I keep myself busy. Good luck!
Hey man, im from the Netherlands as well. From the east. Its not difficult to stay sober, its just lonely sometimes.
Als je in Lelystad woont, woon je niet echt naast Amsterdam.
Ik hoop in ieder geval dat het goed met je gaat en ik wens je het beste!
The prospect of never having a drink again gave me anxiety at first as well. But I realized that like a small insect I had crawled out of the pit of hell that alcohol had put me in and that one drink would send me screaming straight back. I now live in complete fear of having a drink ever again as I hold the view that if I go back once I'll never be sober.
You're training for the job (sobriety), and just at that, you're on the right path. Keep it up, man
I’m sorry for the negative comments friends… truly one day sober is a day accomplished and honestly all these people saying you can’t never drink again blah blah blah are just way to black and white because look if he doesn’t drink for three months goes off the wagon for a month it’s way way better then drinking for four months :) way way better :) so believe in yourself and count each day sober as a absolute bossing win 🏅
I agree with you on how fast it happens after that first drink. I have just relapsed myself. It sucks. So now I’m back on day 2. We need to avoid that first drink. Just for today let’s do this. No alcohol today. You can do it. 😊from Mexico
Keep going in the right direction for you, braver than most for being in front of the camera, you obviously have strength there and commitment…just needs the positive direction. Back to the exercise/gym and replace the drink with some cold brew coffee, whatever works. 👍💪
Hi Jake, hoping that you can have the strength to be Alcohol free one day at a time.
The idea of never drinking again really scared me. Alcohol was my best friend. When I quit drinking the last time, I didn’t know it was the last time. I took it day by day and now I’m 8 years in. After a year or so I never even gave booze another thought. Once you get to the other side, life is so much easier and better
no one is judging u man u can do this 😊
I think it’s very wise to take it day by day!
As a person who have Alchool Use Disorder just keep trying like I am. I think the secret to stop tasting booze is when it doesn't taste good anymore. 4th day sober and even resisting temptation like my friend bringing a 6 pack of beers to see Euro 2024 and until now I'm good. Sincerely my friend keep trying, never is too late.
Anyway Props to you , your courage to talk openly about it and everything good for ya!
Awwww i really wish i could give u a big warm hug ❤❤❤ everything is gunna be ok 😊 ik you are strong enough to overcome this 😊
Keep on going mate, that lift only goes down.
I really hope you find the strength. Many people are rooting for you including myself. Be kind to yourself and speak kindly to yourself quietly everyday. The inner voice makes a big difference. We always repeat over and over how terrible and pathetic we are. Try telling yourself how wonderful you are and how worthy. Self love works. xx
Thailand is one the worst places to go for an alcoholic.
Yep.. surrounding yourself with bars serving cheap alcohol 24/7, big no no...
I totally relate to everything you say. For me, i cannot get through that first day without drinking.
But we have a Rapid Access Detox Program at my local hospital that anyone can visit. It takes about an hour to go and tell them you want to quit and they gave me 3 days of Gabapentin for anxiety. I took 2 pills 4 times a day for 3 days. Easiest thing in the world to do. I was able quit drinking, without any detox, any anxiety, and felt amazing Day 1. And i drank a lot, similar to you, 10+ drinks a day for months, and before that, years.
I recommend getting help, i am sure you have a Rapid Detox Program at your hospital too. It gave me the chance to stop, because I just can’t stop alone. I have been almost a month sober.
It’s honestly really awesome to get meds for the first 3 days. I felt relaxed and amazing Day 1 and everyday since. Try Gabapentin for 3 days under the support of a physician, it is the way to go. After that, it is smooth sailing, a check in back to the doctor, and that’s it. Try it!!!!!!!
I'm wary of you creating a channel who's popularity is based on videos of you saying you relapsed. It's admirable you are willing to address this, the issue is you will get used to the dopamine hit when everyone tunes in when you relapse. So your brain will subconsciously realize relapsing is a way to go viral get a huge dopamine hit. Imo, best to stay off of the confessional social media when in recovery, that's just my two cents
The only way to maintain a sober life for the rest of your life is to focus on your self for a while
Also I found keeping a bottle of jack daniels in my cupboard "helped" me abstain.
The three month target with such a wonderful result for your kids you cannot let this fail.
30 days is just a beginning. It takes years to break free from addiction.
Keep that same mindset and be honest with yourself is the best approach. If you do fuck up and you will you need to get back to your mindset that you have now. Most people can’t even be honest with themselves. Overtime that honest positive mindset will take over
thats all it takes which is so scary. Just one. Love the glasses btw
Never give up. Never. Even if you slip. Never give up. You matter and you are not alone 😊
Your doing it STOP ✋️ worrying about haters, you're being true to yourself 💯 So you fell you got back up well done, just keep going forward, my friend, like I always say Don't look back keep looking forward ✨️
I know it is not easy, but please push on through this to sobriety. It becomes easier the longer you stay sober and find the happiness in your life without the "high". That high always leads to a low. God bless you.
Dude, you have to let go of the ego and accept you cannot drink !!!
Doesn’t really feel you have hit a rock bottom yet, I’ll pray for ya !!
You can't get back on the horse unless you first fall off the horse.
Best of luck man!
I gave up 5 years ago but i tell you wjat every single day since i still feel like a drink
But it's different from when you first started to drink, right? I stopped smoking cigarettes 10 years ago, but my cravings now are very mild compared to those first couple of days.
What are you trying to prove?
No one loved a drink more than my husband
Hes 7 years sober...his support network is his AA meetings
If you really want it bad enough you will do it!
good luck bro
Meditate and open your third 👁️
Prayer, breath from your nose and out your mouth. Receive the gift and the rest is easy. 🙏
You sound like an intelligent, strong-willed man. You don't need to be perfect. Progress, not perfection! Mind, over matter. Maybe try not to do so much, e.g.75 hours, marathon. All the best, mate. You can do it with or without blogs 😊
You might want to consider not limiting your sugar for a while as you get sober (and that includes comfy food).
You can still exercise and keep active.
You achieve loads and work hard even when being an alcoholic. Just imagine man if you continue this sobriety from today, insane potential.
Right here with you brother. On day 4 of sobriety after a 3 week 30oz of vodka bender/day. It's been a harrowing 4 days. Been to two AA meetings, about to head out to one in 2 hours. I get caught in the cycle too and it's impossible to explain to people who don't understand.
So many contradictions in this video. People are screaming at you! Go and get help. If I had one sip of alcohol I would be back to where I was 31 years ago or worse. There is a life out there without alcohol and it is good. It's like groundhog day with you. Wake up before it is too late.
Bro you could be an absolute machine if you got more into running. That is insanely impressive. You need to want to though obviously. Good luck getting through one day after the next
Brother, you need to be kinder to yourself. forget about counting calories and all that shit, eat whatever you want in the beginning, avoid what and who you need to avoid and reduce your working hours. less is more.
This! When I got sober I had a priority list 1.) was stay sober. 2.) was my health(eating healthy, exercising, etc. on days where I only wanted to drink I would just watch Netflix all day and eat bad food, but I stayed sober.
ive heard people say a carnivore diet really helps with quitting the booze.
That's so true. Choose your battles. You can't be a superhuman every day; that's a recipe for failure.
I hear you brother.
I did this, one drink led me from one year sober into a 5 month relapse too. Got into fights, all kinds. We are problem drinkers, and self sabotaged, we have emotional trauma I think. But the great thing for you is you have a great family to live for. I am single my whole life. I am also like you, can't stop when I have a drink. Have a peaceful day.
I hate it. I become a completely different person when I drink. And I drink to deal with the shame. It's rough.
@@Jay-zx5hx Yeah I drink to block out the fact I have so many problems that i feel are unsolvable. I have problems with my bladder and so i feel I can never have a girlfriend, I am nearly 40, I have had terribly traumatic rejection from the only women I ever loved. I was totally infatuated. I did a year sober, felt great, then one drink and just months of chaos. We can't drink and I hope to get to a point very soon where I can stop for good. In Jesus name I pray for wisdom for both of us
@jamesbyrne9312 Yeah. It's hard to accept. I've been there, I tell myself I'll only drink beer then it goes to wine and after that I'm right back to hard liquor.
@@Jay-zx5hx yes that first drink is the trickster. Gotta avoid it
Im the same mate once i start i dont want to stop however i can go cold turkey.... i wonder why im trying to go dry now at 47... ive been drinking heavy for at least 22 years with some spot periods of giving up. At the end of the day having a booze up can be great fun depending on company...
Have you tried TSM and Naltrexone ❤
Hey brother be careful, 15 drinks being A normal day then 0 drinks, I hear seizures, and potentially death. You can die from alcohol withdrawal. I would work with a doctor. Best of luck.
It only generally happens when you’ve been drinking nonstop like day after day, essentially on a huge bender then you stop drinking completely. That can cause DTs
I am 3 months bender after 5 years of not touching alcohol ( not sobriety) this is what happens when you do not work on your recovery very very painful.
What do you do when you are drunk? Like just sit inside watching stuff
M8 u nd to stop talking & start taking action, u talk a gd game but it's always the same spiel! Take it from my own experience u won't get sober throwing urself in2 work. Hope u give urself the kick up the arse it needs m8.
I see right through you.
Was it lit? Did you have a good time? Or was it horrible?
Prayers
have to tired mmj? you may not like it but it could take the edge off. Ive watched you struggle prettty hard with this - hope you pull through man.
at least you work. good on you
You Can Do It!!! I DidIt!!!
No offence mate, but didn't you make some "never again" videos just recently?
Maybe a simple "not today" would work better? Best wishes from AU.
Anyone struggling with sleep issues/nightmares when you don’t drink?
F** yeah, all the anxiety that hasn't been dealt with because of drinking comes up
Yes. It goes away with time. Keep a journal and practice your breathing. This too shall pass.
Gonna do it with you brother. Im done with this bullshit
Go to meetings go to meetings go to meetings our own will power has no power 🙏❤️
We are on the same journey.
All I can say for now , Because I'd like to write ALOT more BUT it's 3.25 am in Oz is, don't be too hard on yourself, you're obviously looking for answers and you will find them in time.
Have you got any blood work done?
14:40 That's not that messed up. Plenty of elite runners will party hard at the after-party of major marathons. It was standard for me and the boys in college to binge drink beer after cross country races all 4 years. Just don't do it daily. Once a week MAX.
Day one for me if I get through the next few hours
So are you going to have withdraw at this point?
its so hard gotta change routine
Just got my brokers license miraculously and sitting here during a work day killing a 375ml of tequila, throwing my fucking life away
You try AA?
Oh man, I think your perfectionism is killing you. I've watched a couple of your videos, and I noticed the "all or nothing" approach being repeated. I agree with others, two full time jobs won't serve anyone, something is gonna give (that amount of stress would drive me/anyone to drinking). I feel you may be trying to get your mind of drinking by working so much, but that's another form of escapism. The thing to learn here is to be able to be with yourself and to learn to relax & be able to experience a certain level of joy without needing a drink. I think the baileys binge was not only due to alcohol content, I think it was the calories & simply nutrients (as shitty as they are in baileys) and SUGAR (calories) your body was craving for. You're saying you were eating VERY clean, counting calories & exercising a lot before that binge. Perhaps too clean? Perhaps the calorie restriction was too high for the energy you needed to do your job & your fitness routine, hence the binge on something not only alcoholic but super HIGH in sugar too - to me it's a no brainer that your body needed it.( I'm not judging here but talking from own experience, with a long history of binge drinking and ED (eating disorder) - these two often go hand in hand.
I got tremendous help from joining an online group sessions with "smart recovery" - they are great, look them up, connect, and you won't feel so lonely in your battle (only if you feel like it of course)💚
Another thought that popped up to me is that perhaps a part of your is actually weirdly "enjoying" getting through your hangovers? You said in one of your videos that you're kinda proud of yourself that you are able to pull through them. Maybe subconsciously you like repeating this cycle to feel that moment of pride again, if so you'd need to ask yourself what's driving you here, are you really getting such a kick out of it, or would there be something else more worth your while to put your efforts & energy into to be proud of?
Btw, the ultramaraton story 🤯 (an alcoholic running an ultramaraton as you said 😂) But how the F** did you do that?! Kudos to you, I bet you would have won it if you hadn't been drinking prior to it. You're a superman, I think drinking is your way of trying to escape from thinking about how much power you've got, how successful you can be, because it can be scary how powerful we actually are. Let yourself win man, you fu**n deserve it. And whoever made you feel when you were growing up that you don't deserve good things they were f*** wrong (it got into your subconscious ever since, damaged your self worth hence all the self sabotage). Oh man... I see it so clearly, the potential..
Anyway, I hear you as I've been walking this path myself a long time too, and your videos about your struggle weirdly motivate me to stick to my nondrinking, so I am grateful for you sharing all this. I know this shit is hard. If you feel like having a chat about this in pvt I'd be happy to. In the meantime stay positive 💪🏼👏🏼
Stay strong buddy you can do it just get out of your thoughts just stop
Fuck I was drinking for 20 years, only beer, 6 litres a day! But Whiskey always gave me the worst hangovers! And Tequila..
Try Naltrexone, reduce the cravings
Your kids are worth it
What sunglasses are those mate
Have you not heard of AA?