I’m definitely disciplined to my core values, so they think I am not and they’re going off of their lower values. They get their own feelings hurt from what I observed over time. Of course it would hurt me depending on the situation but I always come out on top, mentally
@Oceanimago can you give an example from your experience? I hear you guys talking about it but I can't think what I could actually do. I just feel weak
@@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142 yes. Why are you putting up with this behaviour? This bad behaviour! It's abuse and it has to stop or........... Will be the consequence. Only you know what the consequence is. You are putting a line in the sand, this far and no further.
You got that right... I'm going to block them as of now, I'm not a target so Don't bother..Just got hit blindsided three ways...all at once. Then I had to exit immediately. It's the past.
INFJs do not strike back in sustainable nurturing situations or dynamics. An INFJ strike back is a warning sign that the whole system is not healthy. When the system is healthy, we take responsibility to work with the fair boundaries.
As an INFJ, I think the real power I have is my ability to walk away. I’m able to “86” people when I see their true colors. I don’t need them in my life to be happy. I’ve enjoyed many people in my life but with caution. It takes a while to gain my trust. The people I allow into my life had better be real, caring, kind , honest, intelligent, inquisitive, consistent, respectful and funny. I don’t have room for shallow, superficial, fake, dishonest, disloyal, gossipy, small talking, drama magnets, loud or arrogant people. If I don’t meet genuinely good people, I’m OK alone! I don’t need people in order to be happy.
Well said! I generally don't have the mental energy, or i just simply don't care about the person arguing enough to get out of my character to engage with extraneous folks. 😊
They are: 1) unpredictable 2) subtle 3) able to fight back where it hurts 4) final - no going back 5) able to change you by showing you the truth you've been hiding from yourself
I have a good friend that got in a habit of introducing me to others by my name, fallowed with "he's my gay friend" I asked her to stop multiple times. Then one day I had enough and introduced her by name, fallowed with "she is my friend that can't keep a guy past a 2nd date". Although this set her off, she never introduced me that way again.
@@chinyelunwaokafor2187 it is a personality type indicator Myers’s Briggs INFJ is one of 16 types. INFJ = Intuitive Introverted Feeling Judging. Google Meyer’s Brigg. You can find the test online too
Wow!! Hit the nail, right on the head... People can push me and push me, but when I've truly had enough... I'm done with them... There's no apology that's going to help... By then, it's too late 🤷🏻♀️
And by then, you have already forgiven them without them needing to apologize. The only thing they have to do now, is apologize to God for the type of person they were to you, if they want to even take accountability.
DITTO can RELATE, IT IS THEIR LOSS FOR CERTAIN. USE IT ,ABUSE IT ,THEN THEY LOSE IT.. MY MOTTO FOR SURE. AND KARMA'S GONNA COME FOR THEM JUST LIKE (** JOHN WICK WILL **) BATMAN SAYS ,MY NAME IS VENGEANCE!🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
People do it to themselves. They do. They come, we figure them out, they do wrong, we back away (emotionally, at least), and then they do it to themselves...
Theu underestimate us time n time again...even when I say to the person as kindof a warning in a way..." jst because I don't say something ,doesn't mean I don't know " ya know it like im pretty much giving you a chance to tell me because I in fact already do know..but nope they think we are stupid .quite the contrary right...
As a Dutch INFJ our culture is very direct. The reason is choose to avoid conflict is when i do strike back it is absolutely savage. There are consequences. But, once done, there is nothing that can be said, done, bought or apologized for. I have already grieved the loss (prior to the strick back) and the person simply ceases to exist. Apologies have lost their meaning.
Thank you dutchie for this; you said most of what I was thinking while listening to Wenzes. . " absolutely savage" is still a bit off the bullseye for me. I cut deep metaphorically... Listen quietly and observe long enough and ppl will give you all the ammunition you need to blast a gaping hole in their arrogance, reputation and options moving forward. and Yes, they cease to exist. I do not think about them at all once the Rubicon is crossed. Pisces ppl (females) apparently seek me out and play that victim game with me... Most persons among us are sloppy by nature, and the pattern recognition and correlations/causations we are able to project, nah, yah fam, nuking entire families emotionally, financially and reputationally is a laser focused strategic endeavor. When we want to be left alone, understand. We are not asking.
@@tedkay1048 Hello Ted, i hope you are well. Cave time as it is also called is very important. Only 1 or max 2 people can contact me during my cave time. You better stay away from the Piscis women then. You know how to spot them now, so avoid, deflect and retreat. Once i received feedback on a small reality check i did (30% strenght) and the impact was greater than i thought l, so i became more careful. I now only unleash the kraken when absolutely necessary. I dealt with 2 narcissist so for my own personal safety i just grey rocked. These people are just to far gone to be helped.
@@MsDDutch yes, they're sloppy. They don't understand we video tape every word. Gesture, etc. Not on purpose of course, that's how we're wired. Sensitive with meaning. If it adds up in the negative we Exit.
As an advocate that INFJs naturally are, I find it easier to step up for myself by imagining being my own friend witnessing the uncomfortable situation. When I think from that perspective, it becomes a lot easier and more natural to speak up for myself. And I don’t feel guilty about it afterward but good.
Thank you for that perspective, that thought has never crossed my mind as a possible reflective course. But I will try to look at situations like this from now on.
This is truth. I wonder why people f with me. It's like I get taken over by a powerful, invincible spirit. I have no guilt afterward. I give these people so many chances.
You described it so well. I used to think I was the only person who did these things but finding out I'm an INFJ makes so much sense to why I am the way I am.
Reason 5 is my favourite: the INFJ literally changes you. Having spent my whole life learning, developing or growing in some way, it's great to hear I've also been a catalyst for change in some of the people around me...
As an INFJ I can say we do not want to hurt anyone, especially spiritual INFJs. We believe in the power of good and compassion. When an INFJ strikes back, it’s a cataclysm. When an INFJ can’t forgive you anymore, it’s the end of the world.
When I get angry or even extremely upset, people often freak out. In this video I saw the reason why. I think they don't expect it from us. And it almost makes me laugh that some of the ones who get the most freaked out are the ones who have originally accused me of being too sensitive. 😄 Given the way that we are put together, when we have had it and let people know about it, we are right and they know it. I have a hunch that may be the biggest reason they don't want to mess with us. They know that sooner or later, if they mess with us, they will get hit up with the truth, and that's hard on the critic's ego.
Truth! Cowardice & blame-shifting is a telltale sign of dishonesty for me. So is trying to turn the tables on me when I've caught someone in a lie & they know it! "Don't piss on my leg then tell me it's raining!"
I hate getting angry because I really scare myself. I’m very unpredictable when someone really angers me. I can black out and go crazy and not be able to remember what I did afterward
It may not be as bad as you think. It might actually be quite effective. It will drain you, yes, which is why you avoid it. When it comes out, it carries a lot of weight, and knocks you out for a few days. Completely normal.
I feel negative energy surrounding me on a daily basis and that's when I go out of my way ignoring anyone who gives off such toxicity. I can tell it drives them crazy with insecurity wondering why everybody but me is giving them the time of day. It's my way of holding up the big shiny mirror for them to look into.
I give people the freedom to be themselves. I don’t micro manage but at some point I’ll lay down the law. They can listen or run away but when I get to that point I don’t care their response
Since I found out this is my personality type, many things make sense to me. I am not labeling myself because we are very complex creatures as human beings. I have grown up a lot as a person and I can notice I am more logical than emotional now.
I always wondered why my words cut deeper than knives. I always try to prevent it bc even for myself is kinda scary how painful it can be.i never want you to hurt them even when i hate them bc of my empathy. Sometimes i see the person who hurts me a lot and my mind reminding me the worst things that telling them will completely destroy them but hold myself cause i feel sorry for them and don't want to ruin them even more
The strongest weapon i have is the element of surprise. This isn’t on purpose but wow the amount of people I’ve terrified to their core by them realizing they have underestimated me for years is incredible. The amount of growth I do year by year without sharing is normal to me and I treat everyone like that, we treat everyone by the growth that we know is possible and not how they were when we first met them, meanwhile everyone treats us like how we were when they first met us and has no idea how growth oriented yet secretive we are about it. I think this is because we have learned that us growing seems to bother people for some reason !
Correct me if I'm wrong but we're naturals. Not sugarcoating makes it so easy to grow in just about anything. So when we are repeatedly faced with the challenge of an offensive, we learn to adapt and hit hard if defensive measures aren't effective. I hate being pushed there, but damn am I good at verbal discourse. Wish I didn't need it, respect given doesn't always equate to a two-way street, and they'll never have the respect that I have for myself enduring all the dysfunctional social dynamics in the world.
I hate the infj side of me who freezes people out and yet i don't want to confront them. I hate shouting matches, it is exhausting and you can't communicate.
I am 47 and 2 yrs ago was the very first time I did this to someone....my sister. It was very subtlety done. I felt bad while I did it but I wanted her to wake up and see how she was treating our mother. Something in me snapped watching my mother who was battling cancer cry because she wanted her family to visit her. I have takin the high road for all my life, which I'm still takin that high road but now I have something I hold while on that road....... It's your truth and I'm gonna slap you with it on the way out!
BRAVO BRAVISSIMO! Dear Maestro amazingly told about the absolute truth of the Terrible Danger Lurking in INFJ INFP! When their patience runs out, they turn into unpredictable... incomprehensible... indomitable...invincible... dragons, capable of delivering blows that are completely irresistible to all the Achilles spots and heels of the enemy, providing the most pain possible, and it is good if they do not completely incinerate the enemy, although this is possible ! and another form of retribution is to leave the Rapist to his fate and his karma and not help him when the all-feeling and all-seeing dragon is able to do it is capable of doing it due to feeling and seeing and understanding How to do it!
I appreciate your point about our tendency, as INFJ’s, to over focus on the feelings of others and predicting their reactions to our letting them know when they have crossed a boundary that we often stay silent. We then continue to absorb and absorb maltreatment until we reach our breaking point, and then the relationship fracture may be too far gone, as you said, to repair. I strongly agree with your point about letting people know when they have done or said something that violates our boundaries and allow them to feel uncomfortable instead of defaulting to “smoothing things over” and acting as if it was okay. While this can be very challenging to do in the moment, you’re absolutely right about it being a much more sustainable way of navigating all sorts of different relationships. It’s not easy to do but makes a huge difference. Loved the content of this video especially. Well-said. Thank you! 🤍
This is mostly for infj's, we understand this yet its a bit harder to explain to others to the point you don't wanna try (sometimes). You're the one who gave me the power to stand up for myself, thank you star ❤️💫.
Yeah it is funny try to explain this to other person. The reaction is always the same - they get angry with US telling so why you communicate so wierd, why you dont communicate more, why you didnt tell this sooner?? 😃 so funny they think is fault of some our weak point. But the truth is I didnt tell anything because YOU are not able to take it. YOU would feel bad with your selfesteem, YOU are not capable of hear the bad stuff about YOU 😃
@Bymysense Generally speaking you described an interaction between infj's (possibly all introverts) and extroverts. To be particular if something bothers you try to figure out why, if you sense you're wasting your time just skip the explanations.
@@R.S-1986 yeah, I dont mind things that are not stopping me from having relationship with the person. If it is just about something inside of them and is not particulary between us, I just dot tell. But if it is something that is laying between us and is in someway stopping me from having a good relationship with that person, I tell.
@@bymysense3861 I would have preferred any reaction , I can take any reaction negative or POSITIVE , but no reaction makes it worse thad is my feeling. I think I have hurt somebody who was not ready to hear thad thad is all , and I am sorry . If thad is the case, I just wanted to talk about it . I have only a few people to talk to I live in Belgium 🇧🇪 and nobody talks about nothing, yes small talk!!!
Years ago in BJJ, I was a newbie, very nervous, had a history of abuse, so every time I went I would really have to manage my emotions, which was the real learning experience. Almost everyone there was very humble and I didn't really feel threatened by anyone (other than by their abilities!). But there was this one guy, who was very cocky and loved to smack talk to people as he rolled with them, but not in a good way if that makes sense. His energy was already too much for me, and I would avoid him in sparring (rolling) as much as I could, because every time he was so demeaning and well, abusive. While at the same time turning me into a human pretzel. Very humiliating. Then one day I had had enough, and as he started BSing, I simply said, assertively, "You really love to f$%ing talk, don't you?!" Anyway, he shut up immediately. Even the rolling itself after that was much more respectful and less forceful. And then it seemed as if he started avoiding ME!! We can cut, DEEP.
Yes! Learning the skill set of being assertive can provide some control of your life (meaning environment and expectations of people) and promotes being in a responsive state, rather than allowing ourselves to be pushed into an aggressive and reactive state through holding it in until we no longer can.
Yeah. When I look back, I realise I hit quietly back in a very legal and morally upright way so much so that the other person has no recourse except to go round telling everyone what an evil person I am. 😂😂😂But they cannot take me to court, and those who are wise enough to read in between the lines get to realise they had it coming for them! They were asking for it and they are lucky to have come off easy coz others would have dragged them through literal hell in revenge. 😵😵😵
It is so sickly and sadly funny how much INFJs understand each other and themselves, but no one else even gets close. She knows INFJs like so well, it is really hard to put in words how accurate and well she knows the INFJ. I would not mess with this chick if you have any weak character or lie to yourselves and others. I somewhat think of INFJs as unbeatable, but she has somewhat altered my perspective. INFJs could take out other less honest and moral INFJs. Our power comes from binding ourselves to Truth. I did this long ago. She is a bad ass for sure. I like it. I have your back on principle. Much respect.
Woah! Spot on Wenzes. I didn't know of this prior to turning 25 years old. Especially point #4, I never liked nor do I like starting up drama or a discussion I know I can not win. Also, my friend has noticed from me that I don't like getting into mind games, unless it's a board game, is fine but to go head to head and useless facts to make me feel insecure. Nope. Remove the person from my life and ever again do I speak to them. Some not all, few people I've met. I explained to them why I don't enjoy negative or wrongful angst or meaningless arguments. The few who listen to reason respect me and I respect them. But if the person cannot hear or see reason, close the case, and I'm done.
Giving others enough rope, metaphorically speaking, to hang themselves whilst merely observing their conduct on their merry way to your point of no return - confronted with the brutal truth and INFJ door slam - is a bad strategy if you value a particular relationship. The way I see it - the important bottom line - you teach people how they should treat you. Your intuition will tell which potential friendships are in your stage of life worth pursuing, if any. And that means setting and enforcing healthy boundaries. That includes specifically your adult children.
I always warn people before the try to do things to hurt me but some don't listen but, it seems like the Universe handles said person(s) for me. I just sit back and watch the fireworks.
Since a child was fearful of what was 'inside' deeply. Felt it, and had great respect for it. It was not ever to be let 'loose' except as dire NEED! We are WARRIOR with total discipline. Scary...we have no fear if you push past the 'point of no return' and we are aware how to hit & where to hurt others. DEEP! Like no one ever did hit them before is likely. We have all the goods on them. One sentence and they are splayed...and never expected it possible we could wound like a quick strike. By that time - we are done, done, done, done! So very over! Blocked. They do learn the VALUE we have for ourself without any doubt. Underestimate me, That will be fun! We have such opposing traits. Some they have possibly never been aware of being there before. Yes, speak your truth clearly. Boiundaries are good. Yes, a great share. Thank you very much.
Wow, now I finally understand, why and how I change people. Some say I have a healing influence in the long term. But some people avoid me because I show them, like a mirror, parts of themselves they don't want to see. 🤔 and some really get "addicted" to the Infj attention and the deep intuition 😅 I must seem really private and "unpredictable" I guess. And oh god I haaate drama.
We just hurt ourselves. as long as we allow us to be hurt. I am invulnerable. And so I treat others. If they feel hurt, they still have to learn something. That is, where I give them the chance to change. INFJ-A, sigma It has been a long and tough way to become assertive, and eventually sigma. But it’s in all of us. Just allow the pain to be. Do not try to escape.
I’m going through this with my wife right now. I just found out she is a narcissist and I’m losing my feelings for her and if I completely lose my feelings and I don’t care anymore about her then I know how to destroy a narcissist ego and expose them and there lies to the world
Hmmm, true. I had many “friends” in my life. I was always there for them, quiet, good listener and tolerant. However there is always a limit. Every time I ended up my relationships I had to point out where they were dishonest - or better said fake. I had to charge all hours or days spent to listen to those bullsh*t in which others were able to badmouth others and then acted as victims when someone did the same to them. But where i took a step back, in some instances I was able to share facts with others when necessary. I dont like conflicts and those awkward moments, however if I would stay quiet it would either hurt others or me mentally. So yeah, it happens. I hope they leaned some stuff due to that.
I've always felt like I won't start a fight, but I'll definitely finish one. Ur channel has helped me understand myself more in the months I've been watching u than I did in the 54yrs before that. I appreciate ur insight. It seems like ur in my head a lot because u completely understand me.
You nailed it, this describes me to a tee! I am really patient (often too much so) but if anyone really provokes me, the gloves come off and i make them sorry beyond words.
I went through this in middle -school and just ended up getting a GED so I could get a break from the daily-stupidity. Good information here, thank you for what you do Wenzes 🌹
Oh. My. Goodness. I don’t know how or why you showed up in my life today, but you just spoke to my crushing pain!!! Thank you!!! I’ma Mom of 4 wonderful young men, a 1st,3rd,8th grade teacher of 29 years and a Wife … I’m sooooo distracted by others emotions and needs and moods that I gave up trying to get my home, finances, schedule organized like I want! 😔💔📨🧾🧹🧺 I almost gave up speaking up when someone says something sly and hurtful… you are an answer to my years of prayers!!🥲🥲🥲🙏⛑ Can’t wait to go through and learn from all your content!!! 🐛🔜🔜🔜 🦋
I'm by far not an INFJ but have met only a few in my 43 years! I'm not sure, if I could have great or good chemistry with you guys, since I have an Alpha-Sigma Type A Personality but I find your quietness and aloofness refreshing. Other than this, I have had very little exposure to true INFJ's. This video is interesting and educational in regards to people with this personality type.
We are also very, very warm and caring. We will give you the shirt off our backs, and it will be genuine, until you betray us. We won’t seek vengeance, we will just be gone. If necessary, we will put you in your place, but it isn’t any more fun for us than it is for you. But we will do it.
We are the scapegoats from the day we are born. People say everything was fine until we showed up, but all we do is shine light on what was swept under the rug long before anyone even knew we exist and then they get mad at us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people come to me months or even years later and thank me for showing them what they didn’t want to face.
True. I say being considerate is greatly overrated by us. I see more value being straightful and mean towards whom I don't like. Serves ME better. Male INFJ 50yo and it took me some time to learn this... I leave no quarter now. The fact is: most peoples are not worth our time. Simple. Do not waste it on them for your own good. I realized I wasted my life for others before but I learned my lesson and this fact, I am the puppet master now without any of those weakness our types has in general who lives without this realization. If someone throw a stone at me - I throw a grenade back. No more issue. Anything else is just not efficient enough in comparison to make it disappear. If you mess with the fire you get burned right?! If you have an enemy or someone with ill intent - destroy them by striking first and deadly. Spear yourself from the going through of "mandatory" predicted exchanges. Instead of consideration prior to confrontation and let be pushed around- Get them, end them all on sight. Live happy everafter. We are generally always right but we should be winning always too. Win vs Considerate is a choice for the naive and young. Win, be yourself. Make others loose. No in between or sharing in generally speaking. Nothing is more stupid then the INFJs idealisation of morals (which is merely an evolutionary consequence of a limited food supplies within a closed environment in the universe which evolved into a non-working social concept) or the unrealistic NF delirium how we all can be happy. That makes us a victim of abuse nothing else. It is asks for it. Priority #1 is always ourselves. Learn this and live happy.
They hate putting people in categories or boxes of "someone out to hurt them📦 (that box)" They expect anyone & everyone does not want to be imprisoned in that box. They give people 10,000 chances to rise out of that box. If you force yourself into that box, while they are expecting you're not like that, they will "throw the box over the cliff" so to speak. You chose to remain in it. (They will remove your relationship with them out of their life).
I am old. I live alone and stay home. Very happy. My only goal is see the next total eclipse. I saw the last one on porch. I bought the oldest local home just to see them both. 😊
I just discovered you, thought it might be a bit entertaining. It was so on point that I nearly feel called out 😅. Did not expect to relate to every single thing.
This video is so true. I hate drama! There are very few people in my life that I trust enough to have some conflict and disagreements with. If I fight with you sometimes but you're still in my life, then you're someone very special to me that I respect a lot - like my dad and siblings. But if you're someone else and you bring the drama to me despite my multiple attempts to avoid conflict with you.... be prepared for the consequences.
Life is a chess game. With some it's a lighthearted battle. Jovial and fun. With others it's a death match. A war of wits. A silent match that is only for those that swim in the deepest of waters. God bless you♡
*Thank you for this particular information. *There have been times over the years where I've had to become realistically Assertive with others only to allow them to recognize in my quite way that my intellect can have either a positive or negative approach in situations. And once my intellect is presented, well it simply is presented. And most will frown upon it greatly because of how I've presented it on a different level than most. My intellect either becomes a threat and/or something to be considered. It is truly up to others whether or not they consider it on maturity levels. This is a wonderful outlook or insight on behalf on never crossing an real INFJ.*
People mistake my kindness for weakness all of the time. I have made excuses for people and let things go. But when my hand is forced they learn how mistaken they are.
True... the worsest thing is, my family consist of obnoxious extroverts, who have to be 100 percent time right on the level for example if I say the grass is green the will go crazy that its purple. And cca one month later they will tell me the grass is green as a fact, like I never said it before. Most of the time I am silent, but from time to time I snap with facts and they act offended.
I just did that, and come here to learn to control it. I don't prefer me being dangerous, I want to be more honest so I don't have to be' have enough and strike at their core' again
Thank you! At 47 I wish I had explanations when I was younger for how I behave as I stuck out from the crowd. All good got understanding now and experience which are priceless.
Sooo true. We are the strong that are kind and able to have a vital life without feeling we are missing out on unconscious behavior in all shapes and forms. “Focus on the solution or don’t talk to me” “ if you try to get me to gossip, I will bring to light all the positive things about that person and gossips get bored with that
You make sure you are accurate, and fair. Not interested in winning. Honestly, it’s a loss for all involved when it requires us to have to do this. We also believe it’s important that people run into themselves, and that in order for this to take place in society, people need to be willing to stand up to things, no matter how averse they are to conflict.
Man, oh man, I finally have found myself. I had no idea this personally type existed. I don't even know at times how I will react to situations. My wife says I could be calculated and vindictive. Neither extrovert, or introvert. And selective of who I hangout or allow to get close. Bit I'm more mature about my actions now days and how they may hurt people compare to my youth. I just shut down now.
I am totally unpredictable. I think it is the most obvious when we put our foot down on our boundaries after you have bend over backwards for a peeson until enough is enough. The offender never sees it coming.
very sad but very true . I've been going through these very processes just recently , breaks my heart but I'm through with the pointless "drama" thankyou
*So many indications out there about My Life in which I ALWAYS find, that continue to CONFIRM that I am a Bonafide True INFJ- ALL 5 of those "reasons" with the UPSIDES ONLY- This Is DOPE* *& What's Even MORE DOPE Is the Thumbnail & Title By Itself*
I can quietly make plans and walk away from anyone and they'll never see it coming. And usually when I decide to do this, the abruptness of it even takes me by surprise. It is literally a line in the sand and not even I know exactly where it is.
Absolutely right. Enough is enough!!! Then people were surprised by your flipover. They just run away from your sudden and keen confrontation, bcz they are afraid to affront the reverse of the medail .😁😆😁👍👍👍❤❤❤
This is all so true. I try always to be diplomatic but there comes a point of no return when you're pushed to become quite merciless in exposing the truth that is so obvious but they are blind to, and you know they will keep goading until you kick their butt a bit lol.
Well its because the INFJ often goes unnoticed much of the recognition also goes unnoticed and taken for granted, Some people will take the INFJ for granted and start talking down to them or above them but strong INFJ that are not as stuck in their shell as much will tell overbearing people were to go real fast like as soon as they cross a boundary fast it does not matter who you are us strong ones will tell you were to go as soon as you are done with your little tantrum. Its all about self respect as an INFJ as this is the key to being a strong INFJ as soon as you realize this you will go from being weak to being very strong and well rounded. 1. The first time i tell you with a firm direct voice 2. The second time i start yelling and i mean real loud 3. Next time no talking i start swinging or if its in a situation where i need to be cordial i will just walk the fk out because i owe my self that self respect and if i am walking away and to the car then its because you don't deserve my time. I put so much energy into things and deplete often that if you fail to realize this then fk you see you later basically. It takes a lot to get to this point of strength but self respect is the key for a long time you might let stuff slide but as soon as you realize your strength its 123 every time. We also hate conforming to ideas as in we hate being pigeon holed and we also do not like people speaking for us. We also do not like when people think they have superiority over us even though they don't this is common in the work place as INFJ will often get bossed around by people who are not really their boss and basically at the same level as them. I guess INFJ as soon as you realize your strengths then you will be well rounded and people will try to walk over you but as soon as they realize it flips them over like bug on its back and they know not to fk with you. I know i struggled many times through the years growing up but i realized self respect and not caring what others think is really good for us and makes us strong in your whole being. INFJ has good power to put people in their place like didn't even see it coming at all you look like you are about to start crying type of power. Be strong and reliable in your work ethic work hard and show that you can manage yourself efficiently because we are good and managing things and those that will need to know will know and if they don't then that is their loss and they don't deserve you so leave. If the boss can see you are punctual and get the job done and are always good with attendance then that is all that matters anyone that tries to stand over you decline them and then go and do your own thing and do it well you let people know that you are running things without their input all the time and that you don't need them and you show this with physical actions not necessarily talking. Like just small talk these types and then walk off do your work well. I mean this about co workers who think they are superior but not actually the boss. We are quiet more loners that confide in select people we are also real sensitive at times.We are also ponderers and critical thinkers like very critical but just after lots of crunching and pondering we often seem aloof because we don't think of things straight away only after lots of thinking but if you spend time reading others around you then you already know the answers to be critical thinkers and know the answers to what they are gong to say so it its like pseudo critical thinking in a sense because you already way worked it out before hand like days weeks months etc. People follow patterns so in the workplace for example you learn peoples patterns and then you know how to answer them at any time in a general sense here. if you are are around good people then you will do well if you are around bad people then it sucks and you hate life. Try not to do drugs or alcohol in excess if at all as this has potential to be real bad for INFJ over time stay healthy and positive instead some alcohol can be good but not all the time. Also remember this you can only control yourself and that is a whole bunch of strength right there. Try to be more vocal if you cling to the introverted side to much and stay quiet this is a big problem too you need to talk to people and with strength you might not say what people expect but if you stay confident in who you are they will pick up on that and it makes things easier. spend lots of time resting at home, in a work environment try to be more present when around people but if you are by yourself working on a task at times then use that time to recharge somewhat try not to think to much but concentrate on the task while conserving energy.
One, we are literally incapable of forgetting any slight done to us. Each one gets analyzed to an extreme degree. Two, unless a sincere apology was given, we rarely forgive. Other personality types think that the passage of time causes everyone to move on. Wrong! Had a run-in with a neighbor 5 years ago that nearly ended with the police being called. Yes, it was THAT serious. The entire situation was the neighbor's fault. Not trying to make myself look good. Had I been even partially responsible for the confrontation, I'd admit it. First couple of weeks afterwards, he did his best to avoid me. That was blatantly clear. Two days ago, he greeted me in a polite way while constantly keeping his eyes on his phone. Either he forgot the confrontation, or thinks I did. Or, he thinks I've forgiven him despite the lack of any apology from him. I politely greeted him back. His guard is down. First opportunity I get to severely screw him over, I'm taking it! Fortunately for him, I'm not a violent man. But as an INFJ I've forgiven nothing, and I've forgotten nothing.
We have the gift of empathy but also discernment. INFJs are those that don't seek revenge but knows some form of rebalancing comes around. When we were still immature and learning, we found power in speaking up and fighting back. But we learnt as we mature that there is such power in silence and power in watching and to not entangle but free ourselves from such narcissism or toxicity because we are not victims. INFJs can be just DONE and DUSTED with something or someone that it is not worth them wasting their time or energy for any year, day or moment longer once a boundary or line was crossed or continually crossed. INFJs can be blunt and straight when it comes to matters of the heart and spirit which should not be crossed, once it does, its dead and pointless to us, we only have contempt or indifference.
Why is it a bad idea for someone to mess with you?
I’m definitely disciplined to my core values, so they think I am not and they’re going off of their lower values. They get their own feelings hurt from what I observed over time. Of course it would hurt me depending on the situation but I always come out on top, mentally
@Oceanimago can you give an example from your experience? I hear you guys talking about it but I can't think what I could actually do. I just feel weak
Wenzes, may I ask if you would consider doing a piece on some of issues on narcissistic abuse and how that relates to INFJs?
I have my son who is really trying too mess whit me , do you have any option?😊
@@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142 yes. Why are you putting up with this behaviour? This bad behaviour!
It's abuse and it has to stop or........... Will be the consequence.
Only you know what the consequence is.
You are putting a line in the sand, this far and no further.
Every INFJ -I don’t find drama, drama finds me.
You got that right... I'm going to block them as of now, I'm not a target so Don't bother..Just got hit blindsided three ways...all at once. Then I had to exit immediately. It's the past.
Same
...why does this hit home!!? 🙈😂
So true
Same
INFJs do not strike back in sustainable nurturing situations or dynamics. An INFJ strike back is a warning sign that the whole system is not healthy. When the system is healthy, we take responsibility to work with the fair boundaries.
Wow!! Well said!
🙏 💜
Your right !
That’s pretty good Cheryl.
You are right but everybody’s boundaries are not at the same hight , thad a big problem.
As an INFJ, I think the real power I have is my ability to walk away. I’m able to “86” people when I see their true colors. I don’t need them in my life to be happy. I’ve enjoyed many people in my life but with caution. It takes a while to gain my trust. The people I allow into my life had better be real, caring, kind , honest, intelligent, inquisitive, consistent, respectful and funny. I don’t have room for shallow, superficial, fake, dishonest, disloyal, gossipy, small talking, drama magnets, loud or arrogant people. If I don’t meet genuinely good people, I’m OK alone! I don’t need people in order to be happy.
Same here...
Well said! I generally don't have the mental energy, or i just simply don't care about the person arguing enough to get out of my character to engage with extraneous folks. 😊
Mic drop ❤
Get over yourself. Nobody cares.
Amen 🙏🏽
They are:
1) unpredictable
2) subtle
3) able to fight back where it hurts
4) final - no going back
5) able to change you by showing you the truth you've been hiding from yourself
Amen!
I have a good friend that got in a habit of introducing me to others by my name, fallowed with "he's my gay friend" I asked her to stop multiple times.
Then one day I had enough and introduced her by name, fallowed with "she is my friend that can't keep a guy past a 2nd date".
Although this set her off, she never introduced me that way again.
HAHAHAHA, perfect.
Bravo
😂👏👏👏🎤 mic drop!
🏆🏆🏆 Brilliant
Lolololololo!
We are so gentle but unpredictable and strong.
While I forgive, I never forget. That's the danger manipulative, controlling people face with me. I never hesitate to call them out.
I never forget rarely forgive. I'm very patient I'm a True Believer of karma
I forget them and forgive myself for having gone there.
This is so on point. We absorb all we can until we’ve had enough, then our outlet is a mic drop and a door slam.
Pretty much!
Is that called festering?
That's me
Pls what's this INFJ
@@chinyelunwaokafor2187 it is a personality type indicator Myers’s Briggs INFJ is one of 16 types. INFJ = Intuitive Introverted Feeling Judging. Google Meyer’s Brigg. You can find the test online too
Wow!! Hit the nail, right on the head... People can push me and push me, but when I've truly had enough... I'm done with them... There's no apology that's going to help... By then, it's too late 🤷🏻♀️
Rite?!
czcams.com/video/IrOqnZdvI6M/video.html
Coming from me, a fellow INFJ.
🙆🙆🙆😭✌️✌️ you are right 👍 Holly Hilton
And by then, you have already forgiven them without them needing to apologize. The only thing they have to do now, is apologize to God for the type of person they were to you, if they want to even take accountability.
DITTO can RELATE, IT IS THEIR LOSS FOR CERTAIN.
USE IT ,ABUSE IT ,THEN THEY LOSE IT.. MY MOTTO FOR SURE.
AND KARMA'S GONNA COME FOR THEM JUST LIKE (** JOHN WICK WILL **) BATMAN SAYS ,MY NAME IS VENGEANCE!🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
People do it to themselves. They do. They come, we figure them out, they do wrong, we back away (emotionally, at least), and then they do it to themselves...
Well said! They totally deserve when we strike back or doorslam
Theu underestimate us time n time again...even when I say to the person as kindof a warning in a way..." jst because I don't say something ,doesn't mean I don't know " ya know it like im pretty much giving you a chance to tell me because I in fact already do know..but nope they think we are stupid .quite the contrary right...
You dont have to lift a finger. They hang themselves.
Exactly. And usually they keep doing it and then as a result of their actions, they act like victims. 😅
As a Dutch INFJ our culture is very direct. The reason is choose to avoid conflict is when i do strike back it is absolutely savage. There are consequences. But, once done, there is nothing that can be said, done, bought or apologized for. I have already grieved the loss (prior to the strick back) and the person simply ceases to exist. Apologies have lost their meaning.
Thank you dutchie for this; you said most of what I was thinking while listening to Wenzes. . " absolutely savage" is still a bit off the bullseye for me. I cut deep metaphorically... Listen quietly and observe long enough and ppl will give you all the ammunition you need to blast a gaping hole in their arrogance, reputation and options moving forward. and Yes, they cease to exist. I do not think about them at all once the Rubicon is crossed. Pisces ppl (females) apparently seek me out and play that victim game with me... Most persons among us are sloppy by nature, and the pattern recognition and correlations/causations we are able to project, nah, yah fam, nuking entire families emotionally, financially and reputationally is a laser focused strategic endeavor. When we want to be left alone, understand. We are not asking.
@@tedkay1048 Hello Ted, i hope you are well. Cave time as it is also called is very important. Only 1 or max 2 people can contact me during my cave time. You better stay away from the Piscis women then. You know how to spot them now, so avoid, deflect and retreat. Once i received feedback on a small reality check i did (30% strenght) and the impact was greater than i thought l, so i became more careful. I now only unleash the kraken when absolutely necessary. I dealt with 2 narcissist so for my own personal safety i just grey rocked. These people are just to far gone to be helped.
So true.
@@MsDDutch yes, they're sloppy. They don't understand we video tape every word. Gesture, etc. Not on purpose of course, that's how we're wired. Sensitive with meaning. If it adds up in the negative we Exit.
Ok I'm
Ok I'm
As an advocate that INFJs naturally are, I find it easier to step up for myself by imagining being my own friend witnessing the uncomfortable situation. When I think from that perspective, it becomes a lot easier and more natural to speak up for myself. And I don’t feel guilty about it afterward but good.
Thank you for that perspective, that thought has never crossed my mind as a possible reflective course. But I will try to look at situations like this from now on.
I gotta try that. Thanks for sharing!
Great idea. Being as fierce an advocate for ourselves and our interests: Great idea!
This is great, thank you ❤
"...infj can't be hurt by your opinions" truly correct💕
That isn't true at all. INFJ's care about what others think of them.
@` not when you have your boundaries established and are fully aware of what these "opinions" actually are. take care in your journey and good luck
This is truth. I wonder why people f with me. It's like I get taken over by a powerful, invincible spirit. I have no guilt afterward. I give these people so many chances.
You described it so well. I used to think I was the only person who did these things but finding out I'm an INFJ makes so much sense to why I am the way I am.
Reason 5 is my favourite: the INFJ literally changes you. Having spent my whole life learning, developing or growing in some way, it's great to hear I've also been a catalyst for change in some of the people around me...
As an INFJ I can say we do not want to hurt anyone, especially spiritual INFJs. We believe in the power of good and compassion. When an INFJ strikes back, it’s a cataclysm. When an INFJ can’t forgive you anymore, it’s the end of the world.
I can always forgive, but at the point of no return, I will never need to forgive you again because I will use the door slam at that point.
When I get angry or even extremely upset, people often freak out. In this video I saw the reason why. I think they don't expect it from us. And it almost makes me laugh that some of the ones who get the most freaked out are the ones who have originally accused me of being too sensitive. 😄
Given the way that we are put together, when we have had it and let people know about it, we are right and they know it. I have a hunch that may be the biggest reason they don't want to mess with us. They know that sooner or later, if they mess with us, they will get hit up with the truth, and that's hard on the critic's ego.
Truth! Cowardice & blame-shifting is a telltale sign of dishonesty for me. So is trying to turn the tables on me when I've caught someone in a lie & they know it!
"Don't piss on my leg then tell me it's raining!"
That's so true!
Truth! We speak the truth to their face and that terrifies them.
@@HaleyMary yep.
I’ve been called too sensitive many times when they also were sensitive and to any truth/boundary no matter how gentle it was expressed
I literally try to warn people 😂😂
We are only standing up for what is right 💪
If you don't mind getting door slammed by us...
Then go ahead and mess with us 😉
going once.....going twice......going three times......... DOOR SLAM! DONE!
I hate getting angry because I really scare myself. I’m very unpredictable when someone really angers me. I can black out and go crazy and not be able to remember what I did afterward
It may not be as bad as you think. It might actually be quite effective. It will drain you, yes, which is why you avoid it. When it comes out, it carries a lot of weight, and knocks you out for a few days. Completely normal.
I feel negative energy surrounding me on a daily basis and that's when I go out of my way ignoring anyone who gives off such toxicity. I can tell it drives them crazy with insecurity wondering why everybody but me is giving them the time of day. It's my way of holding up the big shiny mirror for them to look into.
I give people the freedom to be themselves. I don’t micro manage but at some point I’ll lay down the law. They can listen or run away but when I get to that point I don’t care their response
Once one of the Estj said about infj: Yes, it's delightful and frightening: -you are completely unpredictable with absolute determination.
Since I found out this is my personality type, many things make sense to me.
I am not labeling myself because we are very complex creatures as human beings.
I have grown up a lot as a person and I can notice I am more logical than emotional now.
I've tested as an INFJ every time I took the test. My mother use to say of me, "Never push him too far. You'll think a snake had bitten you."
I always wondered why my words cut deeper than knives. I always try to prevent it bc even for myself is kinda scary how painful it can be.i never want you to hurt them even when i hate them bc of my empathy. Sometimes i see the person who hurts me a lot and my mind reminding me the worst things that telling them will completely destroy them but hold myself cause i feel sorry for them and don't want to ruin them even more
Everything is fair in love and war according to the INFJ minimal effort to change the dark minds of people.
Empathy is neutral. If someone is a pos, we feel that as well.
The strongest weapon i have is the element of surprise. This isn’t on purpose but wow the amount of people I’ve terrified to their core by them realizing they have underestimated me for years is incredible. The amount of growth I do year by year without sharing is normal to me and I treat everyone like that, we treat everyone by the growth that we know is possible and not how they were when we first met them, meanwhile everyone treats us like how we were when they first met us and has no idea how growth oriented yet secretive we are about it. I think this is because we have learned that us growing seems to bother people for some reason !
Correct me if I'm wrong but we're naturals. Not sugarcoating makes it so easy to grow in just about anything. So when we are repeatedly faced with the challenge of an offensive, we learn to adapt and hit hard if defensive measures aren't effective. I hate being pushed there, but damn am I good at verbal discourse. Wish I didn't need it, respect given doesn't always equate to a two-way street, and they'll never have the respect that I have for myself enduring all the dysfunctional social dynamics in the world.
Authenticity really bothers A LOT of ppl...
I hate the infj side of me who freezes people out and yet i don't want to confront them. I hate shouting matches, it is exhausting and you can't communicate.
I am 47 and 2 yrs ago was the very first time I did this to someone....my sister. It was very subtlety done. I felt bad while I did it but I wanted her to wake up and see how she was treating our mother. Something in me snapped watching my mother who was battling cancer cry because she wanted her family to visit her.
I have takin the high road for all my life, which I'm still takin that high road but now I have something I hold while on that road.......
It's your truth and I'm gonna slap you with it on the way out!
And every InFG knows, "I'm not looking for drama! drama finds me!, and it's true that drama found me... but then she ran away from me
You are 100% truthful about INFJ's. Facts.
Don't underestimate a certain chosen INFJ's.
Not “chosen”. We aren’t “chosen”.
BRAVO BRAVISSIMO! Dear Maestro amazingly told about the absolute truth of the Terrible Danger Lurking in INFJ INFP! When their patience runs out, they turn into unpredictable... incomprehensible... indomitable...invincible... dragons, capable of delivering blows that are completely irresistible to all the Achilles spots and heels of the enemy, providing the most pain possible, and it is good if they do not completely incinerate the enemy, although this is possible ! and another form of retribution is to leave the Rapist to his fate and his karma and not help him when the all-feeling and all-seeing dragon is able to do it is capable of doing it due to feeling and seeing and understanding How to do it!
I appreciate your point about our tendency, as INFJ’s, to over focus on the feelings of others and predicting their reactions to our letting them know when they have crossed a boundary that we often stay silent. We then continue to absorb and absorb maltreatment until we reach our breaking point, and then the relationship fracture may be too far gone, as you said, to repair. I strongly agree with your point about letting people know when they have done or said something that violates our boundaries and allow them to feel uncomfortable instead of defaulting to “smoothing things over” and acting as if it was okay. While this can be very challenging to do in the moment, you’re absolutely right about it being a much more sustainable way of navigating all sorts of different relationships. It’s not easy to do but makes a huge difference. Loved the content of this video especially. Well-said. Thank you! 🤍
This is mostly for infj's, we understand this yet its a bit harder to explain to others to the point you don't wanna try (sometimes). You're the one who gave me the power to stand up for myself, thank you star ❤️💫.
Yeah it is funny try to explain this to other person. The reaction is always the same - they get angry with US telling so why you communicate so wierd, why you dont communicate more, why you didnt tell this sooner?? 😃 so funny they think is fault of some our weak point. But the truth is I didnt tell anything because YOU are not able to take it. YOU would feel bad with your selfesteem, YOU are not capable of hear the bad stuff about YOU 😃
@Bymysense Generally speaking you described an interaction between infj's (possibly all introverts) and extroverts. To be particular if something bothers you try to figure out why, if you sense you're wasting your time just skip the explanations.
@@R.S-1986 yeah, I dont mind things that are not stopping me from having relationship with the person. If it is just about something inside of them and is not particulary between us, I just dot tell. But if it is something that is laying between us and is in someway stopping me from having a good relationship with that person, I tell.
@@bymysense3861 I would have preferred any reaction , I can take any reaction negative or POSITIVE , but no reaction makes it worse thad is my feeling. I think I have hurt somebody who was not ready to hear thad thad is all , and I am sorry . If thad is the case, I just wanted to talk about it . I have only a few people to talk to I live in Belgium 🇧🇪 and nobody talks about nothing, yes small talk!!!
Years ago in BJJ, I was a newbie, very nervous, had a history of abuse, so every time I went I would really have to manage my emotions, which was the real learning experience. Almost everyone there was very humble and I didn't really feel threatened by anyone (other than by their abilities!). But there was this one guy, who was very cocky and loved to smack talk to people as he rolled with them, but not in a good way if that makes sense. His energy was already too much for me, and I would avoid him in sparring (rolling) as much as I could, because every time he was so demeaning and well, abusive. While at the same time turning me into a human pretzel. Very humiliating. Then one day I had had enough, and as he started BSing, I simply said, assertively, "You really love to f$%ing talk, don't you?!"
Anyway, he shut up immediately. Even the rolling itself after that was much more respectful and less forceful. And then it seemed as if he started avoiding ME!! We can cut, DEEP.
Anybody else see the INFJ-Scorpio connection, eh eh?
meee
Truth hurts, but it is what sets us free!
From your small self to your greater self . Here is today’s talisman to set you even freer Laura… 🐞
Yes! Learning the skill set of being assertive can provide some control of your life (meaning environment and expectations of people) and promotes being in a responsive state, rather than allowing ourselves to be pushed into an aggressive and reactive state through holding it in until we no longer can.
I had a INFJ. Cranberry juice helped.
Yeah. When I look back, I realise I hit quietly back in a very legal and morally upright way so much so that the other person has no recourse except to go round telling everyone what an evil person I am. 😂😂😂But they cannot take me to court, and those who are wise enough to read in between the lines get to realise they had it coming for them! They were asking for it and they are lucky to have come off easy coz others would have dragged them through literal hell in revenge. 😵😵😵
It is so sickly and sadly funny how much INFJs understand each other and themselves, but no one else even gets close. She knows INFJs like so well, it is really hard to put in words how accurate and well she knows the INFJ. I would not mess with this chick if you have any weak character or lie to yourselves and others.
I somewhat think of INFJs as unbeatable, but she has somewhat altered my perspective. INFJs could take out other less honest and moral INFJs. Our power comes from binding ourselves to Truth. I did this long ago.
She is a bad ass for sure. I like it. I have your back on principle. Much respect.
Woah! Spot on Wenzes. I didn't know of this prior to turning 25 years old. Especially point #4, I never liked nor do I like starting up drama or a discussion I know I can not win. Also, my friend has noticed from me that I don't like getting into mind games, unless it's a board game, is fine but to go head to head and useless facts to make me feel insecure. Nope. Remove the person from my life and ever again do I speak to them.
Some not all, few people I've met. I explained to them why I don't enjoy negative or wrongful angst or meaningless arguments. The few who listen to reason respect me and I respect them. But if the person cannot hear or see reason, close the case, and I'm done.
Giving others enough rope, metaphorically speaking, to hang themselves whilst merely observing their conduct on their merry way to your point of no return - confronted with the brutal truth and INFJ door slam - is a bad strategy if you value a particular relationship. The way I see it - the important bottom line - you teach people how they should treat you. Your intuition will tell which potential friendships are in your stage of life worth pursuing, if any. And that means setting and enforcing healthy boundaries. That includes specifically your adult children.
I always warn people before the try to do things to hurt me but some don't listen but, it seems like the Universe handles said person(s) for me. I just sit back and watch the fireworks.
From an INFJ so glad to finally find other INFJs...thank you.
Since a child was fearful of what was 'inside' deeply. Felt it, and had great respect for it. It was not ever to be let 'loose' except as dire NEED! We are WARRIOR with total discipline.
Scary...we have no fear if you push past the 'point of no return' and we are aware how to hit & where to hurt others. DEEP! Like no one ever did hit them before is likely. We have all the goods on them. One sentence and they are splayed...and never expected it possible we could wound like a quick strike. By that time - we are done, done, done, done! So very over! Blocked. They do learn the VALUE we have for ourself without any doubt. Underestimate me, That will be fun!
We have such opposing traits. Some they have possibly never been aware of being there before.
Yes, speak your truth clearly. Boiundaries are good. Yes, a great share. Thank you very much.
I am an INFJ AND a Libra! 😊
Justice.
Wow, now I finally understand, why and how I change people. Some say I have a healing influence in the long term. But some people avoid me because I show them, like a mirror, parts of themselves they don't want to see. 🤔 and some really get "addicted" to the Infj attention and the deep intuition 😅
I must seem really private and "unpredictable" I guess. And oh god I haaate drama.
Its hard to forgive them who hurts us 😤
We just hurt ourselves. as long as we allow us to be hurt.
I am invulnerable. And so I treat others. If they feel hurt, they still have to learn something. That is, where I give them the chance to change.
INFJ-A, sigma
It has been a long and tough way to become assertive, and eventually sigma. But it’s in all of us. Just allow the pain to be. Do not try to escape.
I’m going through this with my wife right now. I just found out she is a narcissist and I’m losing my feelings for her and if I completely lose my feelings and I don’t care anymore about her then I know how to destroy a narcissist ego and expose them and there lies to the world
Watch videos on on going "supernova" modeas a dark empath. We can absolutely destroy people . Use it wisely
Hmmm, true. I had many “friends” in my life. I was always there for them, quiet, good listener and tolerant. However there is always a limit.
Every time I ended up my relationships I had to point out where they were dishonest - or better said fake.
I had to charge all hours or days spent to listen to those bullsh*t in which others were able to badmouth others and then acted as victims when someone did the same to them.
But where i took a step back, in some instances I was able to share facts with others when necessary.
I dont like conflicts and those awkward moments, however if I would stay quiet it would either hurt others or me mentally. So yeah, it happens. I hope they leaned some stuff due to that.
I've always felt like I won't start a fight, but I'll definitely finish one. Ur channel has helped me understand myself more in the months I've been watching u than I did in the 54yrs before that. I appreciate ur insight. It seems like ur in my head a lot because u completely understand me.
You nailed it, this describes me to a tee! I am really patient (often too much so) but if anyone really provokes me, the gloves come off and i make them sorry beyond words.
I went through this in middle -school and just ended up getting a GED so I could get a break from the daily-stupidity. Good information here, thank you for what you do Wenzes 🌹
Much appreciated for your work and time for opening this INFJ'S mind. I now understand why I did the things I did.
You nailed it ❤
Oh. My. Goodness.
I don’t know how or why you showed up in my life today, but you just spoke to my crushing pain!!! Thank you!!!
I’ma Mom of 4 wonderful young men, a 1st,3rd,8th grade teacher of 29 years and a Wife …
I’m sooooo distracted by others emotions and needs and moods that I gave up trying to get my home, finances, schedule organized like I want! 😔💔📨🧾🧹🧺
I almost gave up speaking up when someone says something sly and hurtful… you are an answer to my years of prayers!!🥲🥲🥲🙏⛑
Can’t wait to go through and learn from all your content!!!
🐛🔜🔜🔜 🦋
This is true. Don’t start fights but will end one that starts it for no reason.
I'm by far not an INFJ but have met only a few in my 43 years! I'm not sure, if I could have great or good chemistry with you guys, since I have an Alpha-Sigma Type A Personality but I find your quietness and aloofness refreshing. Other than this, I have had very little exposure to true INFJ's. This video is interesting and educational in regards to people with this personality type.
We are also very, very warm and caring. We will give you the shirt off our backs, and it will be genuine, until you betray us. We won’t seek vengeance, we will just be gone. If necessary, we will put you in your place, but it isn’t any more fun for us than it is for you. But we will do it.
We are the scapegoats from the day we are born. People say everything was fine until we showed up, but all we do is shine light on what was swept under the rug long before anyone even knew we exist and then they get mad at us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people come to me months or even years later and thank me for showing them what they didn’t want to face.
That thing that we put people in a category after they mess with us was so relatable I am a INFJ and that is super true to me
True. I say being considerate is greatly overrated by us. I see more value being straightful and mean towards whom I don't like. Serves ME better. Male INFJ 50yo and it took me some time to learn this... I leave no quarter now. The fact is: most peoples are not worth our time. Simple. Do not waste it on them for your own good. I realized I wasted my life for others before but I learned my lesson and this fact, I am the puppet master now without any of those weakness our types has in general who lives without this realization. If someone throw a stone at me - I throw a grenade back. No more issue. Anything else is just not efficient enough in comparison to make it disappear. If you mess with the fire you get burned right?! If you have an enemy or someone with ill intent - destroy them by striking first and deadly. Spear yourself from the going through of "mandatory" predicted exchanges. Instead of consideration prior to confrontation and let be pushed around- Get them, end them all on sight. Live happy everafter. We are generally always right but we should be winning always too. Win vs Considerate is a choice for the naive and young. Win, be yourself. Make others loose. No in between or sharing in generally speaking. Nothing is more stupid then the INFJs idealisation of morals (which is merely an evolutionary consequence of a limited food supplies within a closed environment in the universe which evolved into a non-working social concept) or the unrealistic NF delirium how we all can be happy. That makes us a victim of abuse nothing else. It is asks for it. Priority #1 is always ourselves. Learn this and live happy.
They hate putting people in categories or boxes of "someone out to hurt them📦 (that box)" They expect anyone & everyone does not want to be imprisoned in that box. They give people 10,000 chances to rise out of that box. If you force yourself into that box, while they are expecting you're not like that, they will "throw the box over the cliff" so to speak. You chose to remain in it. (They will remove your relationship with them out of their life).
I am old. I live alone and stay home. Very happy. My only goal is see the next total eclipse. I saw the last one on porch. I bought the oldest local home just to see them both. 😊
With my current attackers, if I take it to law, it will turn out to have been a bad idea to have messed with me.
Yes!!
Hahaha! We LIVE for the exit interview!
I just discovered you, thought it might be a bit entertaining. It was so on point that I nearly feel called out 😅. Did not expect to relate to every single thing.
I'm an ISTP-A and I found this and other videos you've been making very informative and helpful! Thank you very much for what you do! Appreciated!
This video is so true. I hate drama! There are very few people in my life that I trust enough to have some conflict and disagreements with. If I fight with you sometimes but you're still in my life, then you're someone very special to me that I respect a lot - like my dad and siblings. But if you're someone else and you bring the drama to me despite my multiple attempts to avoid conflict with you.... be prepared for the consequences.
Life is a chess game. With some it's a lighthearted battle. Jovial and fun. With others it's a death match. A war of wits. A silent match that is only for those that swim in the deepest of waters. God bless you♡
*Thank you for this particular information.
*There have been times over the years where I've had to become realistically Assertive with others only to allow them to recognize in my quite way that my intellect can have either a positive or negative approach in situations. And once my intellect is presented, well it simply is presented. And most will frown upon it greatly because of how I've presented it on a different level than most. My intellect either becomes a threat and/or something to be considered. It is truly up to others whether or not they consider it on maturity levels. This is a wonderful outlook or insight on behalf on never crossing an real INFJ.*
We are all magicians of our own lives 🧙
People mistake my kindness for weakness all of the time. I have made excuses for people and let things go. But when my hand is forced they learn how mistaken they are.
Mess with me too much and you get banished forever. End of.
True that! If people would only know or discern that at all!......
True... the worsest thing is, my family consist of obnoxious extroverts, who have to be 100 percent time right on the level for example if I say the grass is green the will go crazy that its purple. And cca one month later they will tell me the grass is green as a fact, like I never said it before. Most of the time I am silent, but from time to time I snap with facts and they act offended.
I just did that, and come here to learn to control it. I don't prefer me being dangerous, I want to be more honest so I don't have to be' have enough and strike at their core' again
Thank you Wenzes.
I need to stand up for myself for sure. It's nice to have the information and your guidance on ways to improve .
You're the best.
Thank you! At 47 I wish I had explanations when I was younger for how I behave as I stuck out from the crowd. All good got understanding now and experience which are priceless.
Sooo true. We are the strong that are kind and able to have a vital life without feeling we are missing out on unconscious behavior in all shapes and forms.
“Focus on the solution or don’t talk to me”
“ if you try to get me to gossip, I will bring to light all the positive things about that person and gossips get bored with that
Doesnt matter how special or not special someone is. The pecking order decides your worth. Some people have to be stronger where others dont.
As an INFJ I never give up my energy I don't waste it on pointless drama even if I confront him or her I make sure I win
You make sure you are accurate, and fair. Not interested in winning. Honestly, it’s a loss for all involved when it requires us to have to do this. We also believe it’s important that people run into themselves, and that in order for this to take place in society, people need to be willing to stand up to things, no matter how averse they are to conflict.
The door slam
For the child INFJ bullies watch out.
Man, oh man, I finally have found myself. I had no idea this personally type existed. I don't even know at times how I will react to situations. My wife says I could be calculated and vindictive. Neither extrovert, or introvert. And selective of who I hangout or allow to get close. Bit I'm more mature about my actions now days and how they may hurt people compare to my youth. I just shut down now.
Thank you for always coming through.
I am totally unpredictable. I think it is the most obvious when we put our foot down on our boundaries after you have bend over backwards for a peeson until enough is enough. The offender never sees it coming.
very sad but very true . I've been going through these very processes just recently , breaks my heart but I'm through with the pointless "drama"
thankyou
I dont like confrontation... at all... I try to use the refined art of ignoring ppl
*So many indications out there about My Life in which I ALWAYS find, that continue to CONFIRM that I am a Bonafide True INFJ- ALL 5 of those "reasons" with the UPSIDES ONLY- This Is DOPE*
*& What's Even MORE DOPE Is the Thumbnail & Title By Itself*
I can quietly make plans and walk away from anyone and they'll never see it coming. And usually when I decide to do this, the abruptness of it even takes me by surprise. It is literally a line in the sand and not even I know exactly where it is.
Absolutely right. Enough is enough!!! Then people were surprised by your flipover. They just run away from your sudden and keen confrontation, bcz they are afraid to affront the reverse of the medail .😁😆😁👍👍👍❤❤❤
This is all so true. I try always to be diplomatic but there comes a point of no return when you're pushed to become quite merciless in exposing the truth that is so obvious but they are blind to, and you know they will keep goading until you kick their butt a bit lol.
Well its because the INFJ often goes unnoticed much of the recognition also goes unnoticed and taken for granted, Some people will take the INFJ for granted and start talking down to them or above them but strong INFJ that are not as stuck in their shell as much will tell overbearing people were to go real fast like as soon as they cross a boundary fast it does not matter who you are us strong ones will tell you were to go as soon as you are done with your little tantrum. Its all about self respect as an INFJ as this is the key to being a strong INFJ as soon as you realize this you will go from being weak to being very strong and well rounded.
1. The first time i tell you with a firm direct voice
2. The second time i start yelling and i mean real loud
3. Next time no talking i start swinging or if its in a situation where i need to be cordial i will just walk the fk out because i owe my self that self respect and if i am walking away and to the car then its because you don't deserve my time. I put so much energy into things and deplete often that if you fail to realize this then fk you see you later basically.
It takes a lot to get to this point of strength but self respect is the key for a long time you might let stuff slide but as soon as you realize your strength its 123 every time.
We also hate conforming to ideas as in we hate being pigeon holed and we also do not like people speaking for us. We also do not like when people think they have superiority over us even though they don't this is common in the work place as INFJ will often get bossed around by people who are not really their boss and basically at the same level as them. I guess INFJ as soon as you realize your strengths then you will be well rounded and people will try to walk over you but as soon as they realize it flips them over like bug on its back and they know not to fk with you. I know i struggled many times through the years growing up but i realized self respect and not caring what others think is really good for us and makes us strong in your whole being. INFJ has good power to put people in their place like didn't even see it coming at all you look like you are about to start crying type of power.
Be strong and reliable in your work ethic work hard and show that you can manage yourself efficiently because we are good and managing things and those that will need to know will know and if they don't then that is their loss and they don't deserve you so leave. If the boss can see you are punctual and get the job done and are always good with attendance then that is all that matters anyone that tries to stand over you decline them and then go and do your own thing and do it well you let people know that you are running things without their input all the time and that you don't need them and you show this with physical actions not necessarily talking. Like just small talk these types and then walk off do your work well. I mean this about co workers who think they are superior but not actually the boss.
We are quiet more loners that confide in select people we are also real sensitive at times.We are also ponderers and critical thinkers like very critical but just after lots of crunching and pondering we often seem aloof because we don't think of things straight away only after lots of thinking but if you spend time reading others around you then you already know the answers to be critical thinkers and know the answers to what they are gong to say so it its like pseudo critical thinking in a sense because you already way worked it out before hand like days weeks months etc. People follow patterns so in the workplace for example you learn peoples patterns and then you know how to answer them at any time in a general sense here.
if you are are around good people then you will do well if you are around bad people then it sucks and you hate life. Try not to do drugs or alcohol in excess if at all as this has potential to be real bad for INFJ over time stay healthy and positive instead some alcohol can be good but not all the time. Also remember this you can only control yourself and that is a whole bunch of strength right there. Try to be more vocal if you cling to the introverted side to much and stay quiet this is a big problem too you need to talk to people and with strength you might not say what people expect but if you stay confident in who you are they will pick up on that and it makes things easier. spend lots of time resting at home, in a work environment try to be more present when around people but if you are by yourself working on a task at times then use that time to recharge somewhat try not to think to much but concentrate on the task while conserving energy.
Well said, Wenzes! Thank you so much for helping and revealing truth in this way! It has been so very helpful for me. Thank you!
Great advice, be your own best ally, it’s not something we do naturally. I’ve got better at this, it’s most difficult with family.
Overlooked and underestimated means they never see you coming.
One, we are literally incapable of forgetting any slight done to us. Each one gets analyzed to an extreme degree. Two, unless a sincere apology was given, we rarely forgive. Other personality types think that the passage of time causes everyone to move on. Wrong!
Had a run-in with a neighbor 5 years ago that nearly ended with the police being called. Yes, it was THAT serious. The entire situation was the neighbor's fault. Not trying to make myself look good. Had I been even partially responsible for the confrontation, I'd admit it. First couple of weeks afterwards, he did his best to avoid me. That was blatantly clear. Two days ago, he greeted me in a polite way while constantly keeping his eyes on his phone. Either he forgot the confrontation, or thinks I did. Or, he thinks I've forgiven him despite the lack of any apology from him. I politely greeted him back. His guard is down. First opportunity I get to severely screw him over, I'm taking it! Fortunately for him, I'm not a violent man. But as an INFJ I've forgiven nothing, and I've forgotten nothing.
We have the gift of empathy but also discernment. INFJs are those that don't seek revenge but knows some form of rebalancing comes around. When we were still immature and learning, we found power in speaking up and fighting back. But we learnt as we mature that there is such power in silence and power in watching and to not entangle but free ourselves from such narcissism or toxicity because we are not victims.
INFJs can be just DONE and DUSTED with something or someone that it is not worth them wasting their time or energy for any year, day or moment longer once a boundary or line was crossed or continually crossed. INFJs can be blunt and straight when it comes to matters of the heart and spirit which should not be crossed, once it does, its dead and pointless to us, we only have contempt or indifference.