"My boyfriend isn't attractive....and my friends think so too" | EP.147 | The BTS Podcast
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
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Beatrice - / beatriceakn
Tammy - / tammymontero
Sharon - / sharonodu_
0:00 - Intro
01:15 - Dilemma: I don't think my friend has a real disability
24:50 - Song of the Week
41:45 - Dilemma: My boyfriend isn't attractive....and my friends think so too
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Thank you to everyone for giving us further insight into the nuances between disabilities, learning difficulties, mental illness etc. We are here to be educated!!! ❤️
The podcast recommendation from Tammy is “I Said What I Said” hosted by FK & Jola. Let them know you heard it from BTS! 🥰
Dilemma 1: Hypoglycemia is not a disability but a medical condition that can be treated. The author is not an asshole.
Agreed! Plus why was the friend so pressed to have her validate the Facebook post with a public 'like'?
Agreed. Especially if the friend is lying to her doctor and her condition can possibly be treated if she slows down on the drinking. Yes, disabilities comes in both visual and non-visual shapes, sizes, signs, symptoms, etc, but let’s be serious. Telling someone who is wheelchair-bound that you understand their plight is CRAZY work when you’re lying to your physician 🤣
Dilemma 1: I think that the friend has more of an inconvenience than a disability. It’s very awkward and inconsiderate to compare your struggle to someone who is wheelchair bound.
Dilemma 2: keep putting your man down. One of your friend will go after him when you’ll break up. Stop being shallow. If that man is really really not your taste then let him go so that he can find someone who will love him as he is.
Dilemma 1: I think there’s a limit to what you can call a disability otherwise nearly every adult over 30 would be disabled…
This is what I'm thinking...we all disabled then cause we all go through some kind of physical, mental or health impairment whether lengthy or just a couple days
Dilemna 2: I agree it sounds like her friends are in her ear. It's okay to break up if you're not satisfied but don't date someone just to please others.
Dilemma 1: is not a disability at all. It’s a medical condition. If you ask any medical profession, they will
never say that’s a disability.
There’s a difference between an impairment and a disability.
It’s not a disability, the friend wanted attention.
These discussions are so great. They help me consider nuance in situations I normally wouldn't, and the way they get others to see their points is very inquisitively and collaborative.
The issue with the disability comment in dilemma one is that a disability physical or mentally incapacitates you from experiencing and interacting in everyday social interactions or activities that most people would not have to think twice about. The overall structure of society does not bend towards the issue of low blood sugar because that is just self-regulation. She needs to just watch herself. As where the friend with the wheelchair MUST take that wheelchair for her to go anywhere and do everything, but ON TOP OF THAT, must be accommodated by the general population of society. Buildings must include modifications such as ramps to allow her to enter with special buttons to open these buildings. Or even the case of mental disorders where examination units must give you special testing accommodations to complete that test. So, where she says she has disability like her friend is wrong because her friend, and other people like her, CANNOT function without her tools or equipment to get through the day and without the accommodations of society to enable them to interact with the world. I don’t have to help you regulate your blood sugar and i don’t have to build my home in a manner where your blood sugar is safe. Just don’t drink or do anything that would jeopardize that
100% this. Low blood sugar is a condition. It has to do with the self, a wheelchair is more than a self-problem. You said this perfectly.
Hey guys just concerning dilemma one, autism isn't a mental illness but a learning disability 😅💕
Dilemma 1: She's not wrong to say that it's not a disability, comparison or not. It's not considered a disability because it doesn't hamper her life in any way. She can still live a normal life with proper monitoring. On the other hand, OP can't do that. Impairment is not the same as a disability. I have a disability and it affects how I live life and cannot be managed just by avoiding something or doing something else
@8:55 girl that ‘it’s ok’ took me out 😂😂😂😂
Also dilemma 1 - not the a hole! That friends is inconsiderate, and tone deaf! My response would be ‘girl please, leave my house willingly before we fight.’
The maunchausen case you're talking about is Gypsy Rose Blanchard and the murder of Deedee Blanchard.
Deedee began telling people Gypsy Rose was ill from the time she was 3 months old. From that time until her boyfriend killed her mom, she was tortured continuously.
Edit: Mommy Dead and Dearest is the documentary that I recommend. It's posted on yt here
It’s the accents for me😍. Could listen to y’all all day
This is the problem with our society over uses disability and labels every small issue as “disability” a true disability means it’s out of your control. She chooses not to stop drinking to better her condition, that is not a disability that’s called of lack of discipline. People like to justify and over traumatize for attention and sympathy. Let’s call it what it is.
Dilemma 2: let him go, dont waste his time. Find a man who you actually like to look at and kiss
Sharon 🤣🤣🤣 You were on a rollllll today!!!
The mom was also poisoning gypsy rose to make her sick and I agree with Beatrice if she had just said "I understand what it's like to be disabled" and left out the "...like you" part it would have been ok.
I was screaming GYPSY ROSE BLANCHARD at the first bit, that entire woman’s life is wild. It was munchausen by proxy 😢
The music segment ❤ such joy in your voices talking about the tunes. Love it!
To dilemma 1 - As a type one diabetic who doesn’t have as much control over her blood sugars and when they spike and drop as this “friend” who simply just has to stop/limit drinking … OP is not the AH. Ive had so many sugar drops in the last week alone and still wouldn’t agree with it being on par with an actual disability.
31:00 The way they were so in sync😭
That’s how I got started with podcasts too Tammy. I got tired of listening to my playlists at work. I love music, but I needed a change of pace baby. I was starting to feel like I was living in a musical. Lol
Yooo clinical psychologist here autism is not a mental illness. Its a neurodevelopemtal spectrum disorder. Also mental illness and disability are NOT the same, they can bleed together in certain situations (eg. social anxiety can be classified as a disability once it becomes long term and reaches such a severe level u can't function in society any more) but they are not the same. (No hate here just provding information)
Dilemma 1- she isn't the in the wrong to let her know she doesn't have a disability because its true. Diabetes (type 1) is classified as a disability because insulin injections are need to live (in severe cases) and without then they could end up without a limb. ( most people wouldn't think aboout it as a disability though same with asthma but they are both classed as disabilities in severe cases) but it has been ruled out so unless she has an underlying condition as a consequence, her low blood sugar has caused her serious issues in her day to day life (eg. A person who is an alcoholic isn't disabled but if that alcholism lead to liver disease then it would be classed as one) .... not just the 3 episodes she had sporadically through out the 12 months. she isn't disabled. The OP on the other hand is not in the right to hold a bias on disability levels. As one of the ladies mentioned no one has the right to judge who gets more points or who suffers more based on their disability ( but I'm not too sure on that since this is sequestered event).
Thank you so much for clarifying!
I'm not being funny but Beatrice why are you reading? YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THOSE AUNTY REACTIONS...please going forward let the others read joor!🥰🥰🥰🥰 all love😘
3:06 people do class mental health disorders as disabilities but autism is not a mental health disorder, it's a neurodevelopmental disorder. Another example of a neurodevelopmental disorder is ADHD.
Took the words out of my mouth obviously no hate to the ladies ( if they don't know they don't know)
I came to say this as well! I’m glad you did :)
excited for this month's song of the week theme
🤩
I’m so excited for this months song of the week playlist 👏🏽🔥👏🏽🔥
we are too 💕
I like it when the lady with the white top reads the dilemmas ❤❤she's perfect 😊
Dilemma 1:
You may have a similar result of not being able to live a pain free life, but it’s invalidating the experience of someone with a disability. The added language and fb post make me feel like the hypo girl was looking for validation where she wasn’t valid. She knew that too and tried to make her friend invalidate her own experience, to make herself feel better. Peace and love to her I hope she finds better friends.
loving the song choice ladys... good vibes your all so beautiful x
Dilemma 1 is NOT a matter of opinion. At least in my country, if you're DIAGNOSED as disabled, you do some paperwork and you get certain benefits: parking lot, free public transportation, especial health insurance, etc. If a DOCTOR never said she has a disability, she doesn't.
Tamia- so into you and TLC- no scrubs was on repeat last year😂💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽😍😍
I love Mondays ❤❤ because of BTS podcast
I’ve never been this early 😅 but then again Australian time difference.
The dilemmas have been so juicy lately.
Now, Low or high blood sugar- I don’t think disability should be compared to general health condition , particularly when someone has severe disability in comparison to blood sugar. The narrator is not an A whole! Otherwise, we’re all disabled if we consider every single impairment/ health condition as disability 😫
You are talking about Gyspy Rose, there’s a show called The Act.
I mistakenly complained about my mother to my boyfriend out of anger, forgetting that his mother had just passed away. I still feel horrible about it several years later.
I'd say this as a board certified Clinical Nutritionist & Dietitian is that hyperglycemia/hypoglycemia is not a disability but a systemic disorder. #medicallyspeaking
My ladies ❤❤❤
So last year may I had chronic backache I couldn’t sit for 3weeks but that didn’t mean I was disabled
It was chronic pain but now am ok while I have a son with cp who is delayed he will have to live the rest of his life with this disability never compare a treatable disease with a disability
💯💯💯 Brandy is the Goat honestly
12:40 I do this too and i get what you mean. We just want to be relatable but it comes across as self centered to others
Love you girls ❤
Sharon should laugh more in upcoming episodes 😍
Never seen this podcast before, but I have to say that kudos to you three ladies on the last part of the show, you gave exactly the correct advice... Single women keep women single.. I bet some of those ones goading her into dropping the guy either have no man and are the first to run to church come Sunday! Ladies, once you are happy with the partner, shut friends and family outta the doggone way!
Girls! I just subscribed ❤
Welcome to the family xx
So happy I subscribe 🎉🎉😂😂😂😊
I feel like her saying she’s disabled because she has hypoglycaemia Is like me saying I’m disabled because I have the flu or covid and can’t go out based on the definition given. It’s a medical condition that can be treated and cured, not a disability.
ahhhhhhh i didnt realize i was not subscribed lolol
You can change that today 😂❤
She’s not the asshole especially because she could stop drinking. The fact that shes lying about it means there are other issues. That’s where she needs assistance.
“Oh f them kids” lmao! Sharon PLEASE 😂😂😂
😅😅
That’s Gypsy Rose
@5:15 in The movie/ documentary, the illness is Munchausen by proxy
It's my birthday month 🎉as well 😊
Hypoglycemia is not a disability, the friend is a drama queen.
I dated a nice guy that was good to me, but not attractive at all. Once we started dating other women that we worked with startednlooking at him differently and he cheated on me with one of them. 😅
What’s the name of the Nigerian podcast you guys referenced around 41 min in?
What’s the podcast they were recommending? Always looking for recs x
ISWIS - I said what I said
Low blood sugar is not a disability it’s a result of a diet choice
not me judging the people who aren't subscribed then I see I'm not subscribed💀 dw i subbed🎀
Yes we live in a world that is sensitive but I blame US for adjusting our language and tailoring our language to better fit their needs. This is why we are here today.
Which podcast were you referring too?
I said what I said
What was the “Notes” joke at 27:06 someone please explain I watched literally every episode and I’m clueless -or did I mishear it?
You heard correctly. Yearssss ago (this was when we were an audio-only podcast) Beatrice described Not3s as an RnB artist which couldn’t be further from the truth 😂
Ladies I enjoy the podcast and was trying to listen to the playlist but the link only shows 9 oldschool R&B songs. Is it not updated yet ?
The playlist gets updated every month, as it's still early feb only one episode has dropped this month. 💕
What podcast was Tammy talking about that she watched at work 🥹❤️
5:15 Gypsy Rose
Gypsy Rose. There's a movie on it too
Gypsy Rose was being poisoned and make sick by her mum.
23:18 idk about that not being able to complain because they are struggling with that subject my life is my life and I don’t expect anyone to hold back their probelems because of mine like you don’t have to harp on it but don’t silence your self
What’s the name of the podcast ? 40:54
Peter in potomac was mad
Crazy 😂
But real talk with the first dilemma people will actually try to challenge you like who has it worst like they can win a medal or something it's such a messed up mentality which people genuinely have😬😬 it's scary 😵💫😵💫
It’s giving “me too i want sympathy” just shhhh
The case you guys couldn't think of was Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Her mother had muchausen by proxy and she essentially tortured her child. The girl didn't even know how old she was bc the mum kept lying about it, she forced her child to get chemo she didn't need, surgery she didn't need, abused her a lot, she tried to escape but the police brought her back convinced she had the learning disability her mum said she had. Her mum chained her to her bed at one point and allowed to grandfather to sexually assault her. It was so severe and how she got doctors to agree torture her child with all this is beyond me
A disorder is not the same thing as a disability. There are parameters beyond the definition that someone is required to meet before they can medically be considered disabled and sometimes there are restrictions that come along with that label. The friend was absolutely attention seeking by posting then asking repeatedly for op to validate her. She was not the ah but her friend is.
Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSP) -- or Munchausen by proxy -- is a psychological disorder marked by attention-seeking behavior by a caregiver through those who are in their care.
It affects a primary caretaker, often the mother. The person with MSP gains attention by seeking medical help for exaggerated or made-up symptoms of a child in their care.
Being an American watching this and realizing not everyone in the world knows about Gypsy Rose. 🙃😅
Hypoglycemia is a chronic illness. Not a disability.
Please put me on the Podcast youre talking about.
4:47 here you’re referring to Munchausen by proxy
Disability dilemma: I don’t think the person is an asshole for saying what they said but depending on HOW it was said would be a factor. BUT, to Sharon’s point - coming from someone who wears glasses and had asthma, wearing glasses, using an inhaler, needing a breathing machine, etc are all disabilities by definition, to Bea’s point. If you don’t wear your glasses and you actively need them, it’s not easy to do your every day to day activities. That, in and of itself is a disability.
there’s a lot of nuance, nothing is black or white.
That lady is not disabled especially since it could be changed but diet and isn’t compliant
Maybe the friends are interested in him, my exfriend told the something similar about my husband (then we were both dating)come to find out she hated him because he blocked her # after she sent him nude
She was really a friend was not satisfied with raiding my closet she wanted to upgrade to my man whose now my husband
Subscribed🤎☺️
Ten kids? EH?!
But hypo isn't a disability, it's just a chronic condition, I mean she clearly knows how to control and make the episodes stop, a disability is something that can't be stopped by taking a pill or cutting down on something
The story Tammy was talking about is Gypsy Rose story. She was literally tortured by her mom since she was baby all the way to her being a young adult. Her mother made her believe she had all kind of illness for years and used to tortured her as well. She was evil. Then 1 day when gypsy was 23 she plot with her boyfriend to kill her evil mother. Ultimately it's her boyfriend who committed the act of killing the mom but they plotted the murder together. She got sentenced in 2016 for 10 years but she did 8 years and was released last December. The boyfriend got sentenced to life in prison.
I’m guilty of watching and not subscribing 😭😭 my bad guys
I love u ladies ❤
but then i could argue that most women are disabled due to periods. i think the straightforward meaning isn’t what should be taken, there are nuances. and the fact that her problems would be gone by reducing alcohol intake AND they “only” pop up 3 times a year puts me off
Dilemna 1: I feel both people involved are being assholes. Moreso The friend bc I'll give op benefit of the doubt for being surprised and snapping.
It sounds like the poster looks down on her friend and thinks she's lazy and not trying to be well. I think there's a deeper resentment. But: The friend is playing in her face. In general I don't agree with telling anyone they don't have a real disability. Wearing glasses, and even pregnancy can be considered disabilities but we see them as normalized.
But this friend absolutely does not know how op feels or what her life is like. It sounds like she wants validation from her disabled friend.
Honestly this is also how I felt as Beatrice was reading the dilemma. Especially since her situation is manageable or even reversible by a change in lifestyle.
Her friend has a long term illness not a disability.
2nd Dilemma.... but you're accepting his gifts... yet he's not aesthetically nice enough for you... you stay there listening to your YEYE friends because they're not getting nice gifts like you... they're not your friends oo
i also realized i never subscribed my fault
how dare you 🙄🙄😭
I know the couple that play the game and honestly the woman pisses me off
what happened to rating our week?
her drinking led to her condition and continuing to not be mindful did not help, lying to her doctors about not drinking and she can take medicine for her condition regulation, her friend cant just take medicine and walk. Idk its a tough one for sure. but to be upset about a post and then say “i know what it feels like to be disabled like you”? ehhh…and if you say that may not have been in malice then you could also argue that the actual disabled friend saying she isnt disabled may not have been in malice either and why would that be so upsetting? My response would have been “oh i did not mean disabled like you in that way, im sorry that was insensitive” not anger? idk sounds a bit dramatic for sure.
What’s her name is always making excuses for the person lol just because you are going through does not mean it’s a disability 🙄
Why is she comparing her disability? Can she trade places? Why call her and ask her to even comment on such?