Breaking free from anxiety | Mel Schwartz | TEDxBeaconStreet
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- čas přidán 11. 01. 2018
- Anxiety has reached epidemic rates in Western society. Most professionals simply try to manage it, primarily through medication. Psychotherapist and author Mel Schwartz shares his perspective on both the cause and the solution to this mass disquiet. He proposes that anxiety is often due to our relationship with our thoughts. These are thoughts that are perpetually seeking certainty. The more we try to know the future - which is of course unknowable - the more fearful and and anxious we feel. Mel demonstrates how to shift our relationship with uncertainty and embrace the unknown, freeing us from the grip of anxiety. Anxiety has reached epidemic rates in Western society. Most professionals simply try to manage it, primarily through medication. Psychotherapist and author Mel Schwartz shares his perspective on both the cause and the solution to this mass disquiet. He proposes that anxiety is often due to our relationship with our thoughts. These are thoughts that are perpetually seeking certainty. The more we try to know the future - which is of course unknowable - the more fearful and and anxious we feel. Mel demonstrates how to shift our relationship with uncertainty and embrace the unknown, freeing us from the grip of anxiety. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
The biggest problem I see in anxiety sufferers and the connection to the need for certainty is that it stems from deeply rooted beliefs based around safety. Certainty + familiarity = safety, whereas uncertainty + unfamiliarity = unsafe. This formula is deeply rooted within the subconscious mind and many anxiety sufferers would rather stuff the emotions connected to the emotionally traumatic memory within the cells of their body aside, rather than investigate them further because again, this is the familiar response to something that doesn't feel right. It's a truly challenging place to be, to struggle with anxiety and I should know I've been there many years before finding relief. What I can say though is that there is much more evidence that supports the idea that it's safe to look our inner challenges in the eyes, confront them, shift the perceptions over them, and act on them rather than listen to irrational thoughts based on one or a few experiences. Much love to every warrior out there, give this comment a thumbs up if you're on your way to freedom.
Dennis thanks for the insight.
Sukanya l Glad it helped. ❤️
you are a master at what you do and must reach others in need of real help.
This is EXACTLY the root of my anxiety... accompanied with a fear of “loosing control”. How do I get rid of it?
Yes this is an excellent post.
I think anxiety is caring too much about what will happen to you or what people think of you. That’s been my experience with anxiety anyway. I get so worked up about what may happen because I think it matters absolutely. I build things way up and give them way too much importance. I’m not saying I have a cure for anxiety or that I’ve conquered it because I haven’t. But it’s just a theory of mine. Next time you’re in a the grip of an anxiety attack, just tell yourself that you’re caring too much and see what happens. See if it subsides or not. It may or it may not. Just something to try.
I think we give things way too much value.
Anxiety is about fear of uncertainty and alos our thought's relentless measuring of ourselves.
Adam H i like you post
Your anxiety is not a problem it’s you you have to want to calm down
Spot on.
this took away like 70 percent of my anxiety just now i just thought to myself " stop caring so much " and my anxiety went way down . thank you for this
After watching countless talks and reading countless books on anxiety, depression, relationships and mental health, this is the one that resonated with me. Thank you.
"Turn your thoughts into your ally - when you do that - you can begin to write the script - of your own life."
Thanks Stephen - this was fantastic.
.
there is actually a cure to anxiety it is very simple, wanna hear it? Acceptance. Learn to LET GO of uncertainty in life and let go of control, take each day step by step and the universe will take care of the rest with or without your input
Delirious It's HOW to reach that point that is hard for some, like me.
It's very easy for me, but my poor husband is wrought with anxiety over "what's going to happen if/when......". He can hear these words but he can't put it into action.
Yeah I mean that’s exactly what the video is saying
Delirious unfortunately uncertainty & ambiguity inevitably causes stress and prolonged stress as a result of this causes anxiety. I do see you point however our modern lifestyles make it immensely difficult to let go as you say.
The problem is that each second you think of reasons that you must deal with this problem right now and right away otherwise if you let go and do nothing the consequences may be even worse for you.
Anxiety is where you live in the past, the future but never the present.
THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS. They aren’t real. They are forms of energy.
Watch Ekhart Tolle, Mel Robbins! It will change your life.
If you feel anxious, hop by my space here on youtube for a quick fix :). I am uploading every week for all of you to spread love. Have a blessed life.
You have pinpointed the major cause of anxiety for people working in the academic field (specially PhD students).. Discomfort with Uncertainty !!
Excellent analysis of anxiety. So many people talk about how to treat the symptoms, and live with anxiety. I've watched dozens, and some have definitely helped me. However, this treats the cause, certainly in my case. This particular Ted talk has changed my life and within weeks I am now coming off medication. We live in an uncertain world, but it's a world of opportunity! Thank you Mel!!
My impatience and anxiety is not letting me watch this.
Same
Because you need to calm down! And realize you are not suffering from anxiety your wanting to suffer from it anxiety forms in fear and worry do opposite of that and stay cool calm and you will feel good and normal
I would suggest you to watch Dr Aziz video one by one.
Yes
Great message about how to overcome anxiety. I become anxious many times just like most of you here but I manage to stop it before starting to ruin my daily activities and job. I think anxiety starts when you want to live your future before happens and usually you imagine things before happens and create your own reality in mind and live it before the moment come. The best thing you can do is to focus on the present because this is all we have and not hurry the days to come. We have to be more patience and live the moment as it is and stay in the place we are right now not wishing to be somewhere else. Most of the time we want to be in a different place than we are at this moment and when we are there we want to change it. When we realize that we are right where we have to be anxiety will go away and we cannot feel it because anxiety is not in the present moment,it is only a mind game usually in the past or future.
If you can manage your anxiety then you have control over it, that's good for you. Sufferers of severe anxiety don't have control, that's the reason we suffer and why life became difficult for us. I had a brilliant job. I was a high-achiever. Don't ever think that people who suffer with anxiety are lazy, non-focused, unreliable etc. It's the opposite in my opinion. It's usually the burn-out that does it.
Amazing comment. Basically summarises it for me, and overlaps with the insights in the video. Have you just actively started reminding you of that fact?
This comment is so on point! 👌 although for me, the fear of failure is my biggest problem 🙈
@@sonnenblume9528 The only failure is in not trying. The notion of failure is a constructed concept. You just haven't yet succeeded.
Well said
That backdrop is giving me anxiety
Accepting the backdrop is the only way out. :)
I've tried changing my thoughts for years but it hasn't work so far and I have presentations to get through and rent to pay and life to get through. We don't have many years on this planet and so while I check out videos like this once in a while still I end up just going for the meds. They work and there has been no other solution that works for me at this point in time. I always check every so often to see what new info is out there but until there is something more than change your thoughts it will be the drugs for me.
Everyone is different...anxiety kills! talk to someone, or a friend. There is hope for all of us 💚
Your speech comes in handy at this point of my life. Very true. Anxiety comes from uncertainty and the fear for uncertainties. I still struggle with my thoughts sometimes. The more I think, the deeper I am sinking down in the bottomless thoughts.
Yi Si.. Try reading my new book, The Possibility Principle.. It shows you how to release those old thoughts that imprison you.
Try doing meditation. I suffer from anxiety and anxiety attacks and mediation has help my anxiety a lot. Look up meditation vids and try to meditate for 20 mins each day and you'll start to see the difference within a month or so. Best of luck ❤️
One of the best anxiety talks I’ve come across. It’s about how you approach it. Mindfulness helps with having a relationship with yourself or thoughts. Personal development, nutrition and exercise are also important. Spirituality, gratitude, acceptance, patience and surrender can contribute to your resilience and relief. Taking action helps rewire your anxious brain. Having a whole approach is essential. The clue is that you have pain, something to heal.
Adding one thought or mantra to your mind won't ever be enough to cure anxiety. Although uncertainty is certainly part of anxiety, it's not as simple as saying go away. It takes work and coping method every day to manage it. It's an overactive flight or fight response, you can't will that away. But you can work with it. I can calm down a lot of my anxiety just by planning for the worst case scenario, because then I don't need to know for sure what's going to happen. Even then with extreme anxiety I need something to calm down the overreaction in order to actually think of that plan to calm it the rest of the way. I don't need medication but I need some substance that will calm me enough, whether that is tea, CBD, or something else it doesn't matter. Fundimentally it's nurological, I can't will it away
Best advice for people looking for self-help. He managed to explain the essence of many spiritual teachings in a few minutes. This doc must be enlightened
Andrew Kovrigin a
Being an overly analytical person, this amazingly helped me instantly snap out of my sudden onset severe depression and anxiety. Fantastic viewpoint.
He brings up some very important points - the best one being to let your thoughts be your allies
This guy really knows the pain being depressed or having anxiety disorder.
Thanks for this NO bs talk... no miracles or Shao Lin obscure advice... Accept uncertainty, yes, accept it... The rest is noise!
Mel, another wonderful article that makes complete sense. As someone who suffers from anxiety, it’s absolutely 100% linked to my thoughts and not knowing the future. This is a somewhat amazing revelation as I didn’t really think of my anxiety this way until reading through your book and articles. I’m hoping this revelation can be one of the first steps to “getting better!” Thanks for sharing all of your expert advice on this topic. You are helping lots of people out there!
this man is extraordinary,brought a tear to my eye and gave me purpose.
I remember playing chess, your move unreversible but fun because its chess game. No uncertainty for panic. "When you expect uncertainty". Normally when fear of future disaster comes i take a deep breath ,close my eye and reset my attention to present issues. Have compassion for others helps also as we move forward as a community.
I remember the starting lines of the movie 'Troy' saying that men will always be haunted by the vastness of eternity , will his action echo around, will people know how fiercely they fought how madly they loved. Your explanation that we want that certainty in life is the cause of all the anxiety. And incorporating uncertainty as the way life will definitely make us anxiety free and live a beautiful life.
Beautifully said!
Amit Singh agree with you, we should be more willing to accept uncertainties, and not become ourselves a mirror of certainty- seeking thoughts, as the presenter said, to combat anxiety we should accept uncertainty, we can still see certainty- seeking thoughts but should distance ourselves from it, and accept uncertainty to liberate ourselves from anxiety and negative energy.
Probably the best guidance and information I have discovered on our relationship with anxiety. Thank you, so helpful and applicable.
it is not often that you hear an original and useful speech - thank you! makes you think.
The best video i've ever seen! Great, thank you!
Really enjoyed this one. Great talk - short, simple, effective.
Distress / stress / anxiety. We need it to be motivated to plan and act in a manner to both eliminate probable danger and to increase the probability of safety and security. Facilitative anxiety is essential. When we are overcome with real adversity it results in overload, debilitation and trauma. Dialogue, counseling, therapy, conversation offers a way to investigate the source of stress so we can respond well.
Excellent message, and especially helpful while living during this pandemic.
Thank you for this video.
I needed to hear this thank you.
This video was published 3 years ago. And 3 years ago i was all normal i didnt even know what anxiety disorder was.
Really great! Hits the nail on the head!
Great - a must and for anybody that (mis) thinks.
...
Thanks that was an amazing talk
Wow amazing video, I understand the concept of anxiety now.
Thank you , you really helped me
So happy to hear that Paul. You might want to read my articles on this on my website.
That's great Paul. Please check out my articles at my wesbite and join my mailing list.
Good advice, well worth listening. Very much on an Alan Watts themed philosophy.
Thank you, sir.
Good general information but a little light on specifics. Actions counterbalance fears that are part of human nature and a big part of living in an ever changing complex society. Our relationship to our thoughts is a very good point! To change and succeed takes taking risks and failing a lot. Not giving up takes persistence and a lot of help and hope. I try to accomplish 3 things a day even when things seem craziest.
thank you
this talk is more about uncertainty than general anxiety.
General anxiety is often about our relationship with uncertainty.
Well scientifically explained.
The low volume on this video gives me anxiety.
I agree with the premise but not with the quick fix mentality of this video.
vAnyone struggeling with mental health issues should check out the Andrew Cutler protocol. Google «andy cutler rebecca rust lee» for a great article explaining. Tthere are things that you might be taking that is hurting you, like cilantro and chlorella. Wish you all the best
so wise
neeeded this
One of the best Ted talks I've ever seen! I could deeply resonate with every single word he said.
WOW. WHAT AN INSIGHT! WORRY IS THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT FUTURE AND CERTAINTY.
JUST "LET GO" GUYS. LET GOOOOOOO. INTO FLOW OF LIFE.
YAAAAAAAA.
DON'T BECOME YOUR THOUGHT.
YAAAAAAA.
Next time a thought comes, just don't become the thought man.
TRANSCEND YOUR THOUGHTS MAN.
THIS GUY'S A GENIUS.
Yeah I know stating the obvious but no real advice on how to stop it...but I can see by the comments that the mystical creature from the skies that will solve all your problems win...Well I guess we are all doomed lol
The big problem with the need for certainty is that EVERYONE AROUND ME demands this certainty, or guarantee. My landlord demands a certain guarantee, as do the utilities, the grocery store, car maintenance, bill payments, and others.
The ONE person or entity who DOES NOT get certainty or a guarantee is ME. And yet, I have to give guarantees to all of these entities.
I did let go of the boulder. Niagara Falls is dead ahead.
Now what?
Hold your breath and enjoy the ride
Trust in god and he will do nothing just as he always has done nothing, please don't bring this fake hope to people that has never been proven. Prayers have even been tested - they don't work.
I start using a strategy today that worked for me. When somthing trigger my anxity I dont try to stop thinking about it actually I try thinking about it in a more rational way. i wish every one a lovely day peace.
I reckon anxiety is increasing as more and more people are under the pressure from the media, advertising, smartphones, etc. I never heard of anxiety, GAD or panic attacks 20 years ago, now everyone is anxious in one way of another.
Or maybe people just didn't talk about it as much and we didn't have all those medias to share what we feel.
KRAZEEIZATION its is caused by genetics and bad childhood experiences
Anxiety exists cause of the crazy PC culture we live in where every one is offended by everything to the point you have to watch every action you do as people are judging you with every word and posture you take. And some one going to jail cause they made a joke they did not like that is what the world is becoming.
mindlesstube anxiety is caused from feeling you are being judged over a long period of time, which your brain ends up associating that with intense fear
Probably our poisonous environment; chemicals in food, GMOs, air pollution, public water supply, etc.
Thank you for video
my pleasure
Anyone else have constant dizzy sensation and it never goes away
EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE WILL HOLD. THE NEED TO HAVE CERTAINTY OF THE FUTURE IS WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK, STUCK WITH ANXIOUS THOUGHTS OF WHATS TO COME.
this was basically a 9 minutes version of my mom saying "stop worrying so much"
Uncertainties are not always the case. Yes it can be. Control is a huge anxiety started. Mine however is not.
We are surrounded by anxiety and negativity at many times
CBT and mindfulness around uncertainty
I feel trapped. my boyfriend is sick of my anxiety not letting me do anything with him. I feel like a burden. I am wasting my life. its a constant cycle and I feel like ill never break my way of thinking. I just want to be normal and do normal things without feeling anxious or getting dizzy or nauseated. it makes me hate myself and consider not wanting to be alive because of it. I dont know what to do anymore.
Thanks!
my pleasure
No one that has talked about anxiety that I have seen talks about the sciences behind anxiety and how that effects each person. My god! Kinda pisses me off
Sounds like love for the moment mentality. Don't plan ahead.
My family is right now is my biggest anxiety and depression
Calming herbal teas help, as well as reading good books, listening to classical music, and of course, skateboarding.
Brilliant!
How bad sleep, not sporting , using phone, bad eating can also cause stress anxiety
Brilliant
Emotions like happiness, sadness, joy and Fear are rooted in the subconscious mind, the subconscious mind is faster than the conscious mind because one of its functions is to keeps us alive and out of danger
Following this, it’s impossible for a psychological therapy or technique to work for anxiety or depression, even if you learns a way to 100% calm yourself which I doubt it will keep coming back, how are you gonna get cured ?
If you wanna heal anxiety and depression you have to overcome your addictions
I believe that anxiety is rooted in fear and is learned personally and culturally. There are countless people and of course indigenous cultures that do not experience anxiety
Shift the perception of them... wow, i like that. I hope i can. I hope i remember in the moment... T.Y.
Thank you mon and dad...
0:26. That ties in with the idea that, genetically, 25% of the population are the anxious type, 25% are the calm, easygoing type, and the remaining 50% are somewhere in-between or a mix of both.
I no longer struggle with anxiety as I used to. I learned how to meditate, compartmentalize my problems/issues and let go. I started taking a good form of Magnesium (to relax), Vitamin D3/K2 and Selenium for thyroid health. I'm no doctor but these were the key things that helped. It took me about 4 to 6 months to feel in control and much better once again. It took effort and it certainly took time. Anxiety made me feel like I had cancer or a tumor or something. I went to every Specialist I could find. I guess I needed reassurance. I shared my journey on my channel here.
Carib Spice please help me ? Talk to me please I see no way out of this :(
It's been 3years and I still suffer my anxiety :( It ruined my life so much. I can't even do anything. I did stop my studies because of these. I can't go anywhere without bringing water. :'( And when I go outside I get panic attack :( now I'm afraid of everything. I want to be a normal person again. :( so hurt for me. I'm tired of these. :'( It really breaks my heart so much. from a happy person to sad. positive to negative. 😢
What have you tried to overcome anxiety?
Same here. Im afraid of drinking sodas eat Candy or even ice cream. I was addicted to a legal drug called snus and i had to quit because it cost to much and i have to be more healty. Im scared to get a heart attack because when you stop with nicotin your heart going crazy asf. Its been 2 mounths without snus and all nicotin is probebly gone in my body but all the fear is left. I eat almost no sugger or unhealty stuff because if i do i feel sick and bad. And it hurts. And my girlfriend wonder att my muscels is so stiff and stuff. And when im outside i feel kind of dizzy and sometimes my foot is going inside the ground. I dont wanna live like this. Im gonna see a doctor soon and i hope you get help too. Srry for my bad English
@@prizixz I understand u :(
What triggered your anxiety?
I am about to stop at my university as well. These are the last few days - I officially made the decision a few days ago - and honestly I feel so much better. Of course, I was filled with uncertainty but after talking about it I found out that the timing is right and everything seems to be falling into place.
Connecting is the four step method (Connect, Listen, Trust, Act) that teaches you how to
disengage your mind to access the intuitive part of you, called your Self. In
the practice of Connecting, you learn how to connect to the Self. You eliminate
the feelings and emotions that come from the mind and keep you from having the
results for the life you want.
Thought provoking talk, very interesting........just wish the sound level was a bit higher !
Believe in one saying - Uncertainty is certain
yep
Make your thought your allie...i like that
"embrace uncertainty it can be your best friend." i will work on that! I used to say to myself this phrase "suprise me!" just to calm a bit
What about anxiety disorder because of obsessive compulsive disorder?
There are 2 types of anxiety
one that is real and the other that is not.
if we are anxious, we can validate our anxiety feeling with people who we think are successful and professionals like doctors, professors, or even those people whom we think really care for people as people. Make sure we survey from them as many as possible. Then, we would know it from there. Most of the time, we know our anxiety isn't real. It is just that we care too much of what others we think might say when we would just do normal things in life. We tend to care so much when we know we are not doing anything that may harm other people and that we ourselves won't judge if we find someone else had the worry like ours at that particular moment. Anxiety is there as our guidance to avoid situations that may cause trouble, pain and death but sometimes even I myself can have irrational anxiety or worries. So the best way to beat it is to acknowledge it, validate and take action with caution. Live and let live.
awesome
Nice to see modern psychotherapy has come to the same conclusion as Buddhist philosophy 2600 years after the fact.
It's all good.
haha yeah psychology is a joke
Kaziklu Bey it may have been a joke in the past but psychology today is able to compete as a Coping mechanism with these older forms of finding peace and happiness
the volume is giving me anxiety
Embrace uncertainty. I like it.
How I would describe my anxiety as it is like an electrical shock that doesn’t go away like a blender on full speed it doesn’t stop until everything on the inside is blended and turned to mush
So he is saying embrace uncertainty about the future and you won't be anxious
But how to overcome the anxiety of feeling anxiety?
Ha.. Pause.. notice what you're feeling. Step back. Breathe deeply and reframe your thinking. Your feelings are due to your thoughts and they cycle in tandem.
I don't find this a great reply. 'Reframe your thinking' is asking for a rational, conscious argument, with yourself! So many of these 'think yourself well' ideas sound great in a TED talk, but can't be done in reality. It's asking us to create a battle within ourselves. "Your feelings are due to your thoughts".......so change your thoughts!!! I will need my thoughts to change my thoughts. How does that work! Seems to me the only way is to bypass conscious thought and get to the subconscious, through hypnosis or other techniques.
But how to overcome the anxiety of feeling anxiety over feeling anxiety?
David...My book, The Possibility Principle explains in detail how you can accomplish this. First step is to suspend your disbelief. If no one has ever taught you how to accomplish this you're left with your thought and your belief that it's not doable.
Oli, you may want to read my book, The Possibility Principle which explains how to do this.
are you telling me i can dodge anxiety?
im telling you, when the time comes, you wont have to
I've seen anxiety punch through brick walls
Hmmm, he's on the right track...
I see myself as a bag lady HOMELESS, and it’s I know is going to happen
Beautiful. Thank you
I relate to this so much, I have been suffering with Generalised Anxiety Disorder for almost 2 years now. I talk about very similar topics on my channel too, feel free to come over and show a little support, thank you for listening.
I almost put the phone down and started clapping at the end of this video.
Easy way .. Have balls to face your fears , b kind to it and welcome it , it’s a let go by acceptance ..
I am afraid of losing control and going crazy. I am afraid that I am going to lose my mind and do something bad/wrong. I hate the physical symptoms as well. The tense feeling throughout my body. The uncomfortable feeling in my gut. The nausea. The sweating and so much more. I am on medication and I have seen so many therapists but I am still struggling. I feel depressed over my constant anxiety and sometimes I feel like wishing that I was dead so that I wouldn’t have to live this way anymore. I keep watching CZcams videos about anxiety but it doesn’t do much either.
Jennifer Renee how are you feeling now? Need someone to talk to in here for you
@@Katy444- jennifer.. You must talk to someone. Do you have a therapist?
Katya Yacira I have my good days and my bad days. Thank you for asking and thank you for offering to me someone that I can talk to. 💕
Mel Schwartz Thanks. I did see a therapist for a short time but I missed my last appointment so now I have to reschedule with a different therapist. The only problem is a therapist can only do so much. I’ve seen many therapists over the years. Maybe I just haven’t found the right fit for me.
How are u doing now ? Am sure u got better anyways u don’t need a therapist or non of that , just try acceptance watch some guy on CZcams called “Shaan Kassam” he’s really a life saver
Not certain about this.
-Anxiety has reached epidemic rates in Western society.
-You have pinpointed the major cause of anxiety for people working in the academic field (specially PhD students).. Discomfort with Uncertainty !!
-Invite uncertainty in - allowing/acceptance (root cause to why secrets aren't being deleted)
Well, I guess I've got some work to do :)