How to deal with emotions in a healthy way
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- čas přidán 15. 08. 2018
- How to deal with emotions in a healthy way? Understand how your emotions work then get comfortable being uncomfortable.
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Topics Discussed:
* What are emotions?
* Why do we have emotions?
* How do emotions work?
* How can I change my emotions?
* How do I deal with anger, anxiety, and sadness?
* When should I act on my emotions?
Learn more:
* Science’s Struggle to Define Emotions: www.theatlantic.com/health/ar...
* The 'untranslatable' emotions you never knew you had: www.bbc.com/future/story/20170...
* You aren't at the mercy of your emotions -- your brain creates them | Lisa Feldman Barrett: • You aren't at the merc...
* How to do deep breathing: • How to do deep breathing
* This Aerobic Video Wins Everything: • This Aerobic Video Win...
* How Inside Out's 5 emotions work together to make more feelings: www.vox.com/2015/6/29/8860247...
* Robert Plutchik’s wheel of emotions: commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Fi...
* How Are You Feeling Today? by Jim Borgman: www.amazon.com/Borgman-Feelin...
* Bodily maps of emotions: www.pnas.org/content/111/2/646...
* The Many Meanings/Aspects of Emotion: Definitions, Functions, Activation, and Regulation: journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/1...
Connect with Ali:
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Email ► ali@thepsychshow.com
Website ► alimattu.com/
THE PSYCH SHOW! Making psychology fun and easy to understand. Produced, written, and edited by clinical psychologist Ali Mattu, Ph.D. All videos are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute clinical advice.
If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
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04:46 The way to control your emotions isn’t through avoidance, it’s by getting comfortable being uncomfortable
This is amazing. you deserve way more viewers!
Thanks! I'm transitioning to focusing on mental health videos. Hopefully a niche focus will help grow the community. Really appreciate your encouragement! 😀
Everything I was hoping for and more when I asked my question! Thanks Dr. Mattu. Still, "getting comfortable being uncomfortable" is REALLY HARD.
So happy it was what you were looking for! My original script was about 3 times as long. It took me a long time to figure out how to best answer your question and edit the episode down to its core idea. After I was done, I was afraid I hadn't answered your question at all. Publishing this video was a big act of being uncomfortable!
You should do a video on intrusive thoughts, once a person has lessened his anxiety will it go away to the point where they’re “normal” and the anxiety only goes off when a pink elephant storms the room
Amazing video! Thank you so much for posting it.
You're really helping, i am getting so many useful information to deal with my situation right now..thank you!
Thank you for making these quick videos. I'm sharing them with my high school students for our studies of mental health during May--our Mental Health Month! Very engaging and helpful! :-)
I stumbled upon your channel and all ur vids are so easy to understand. love it! please keep on making one. loyal subscriber here!
I came across this suddenly and I am so glad I did. Thank you for such an important video
I think one of the easiest ways to change your current emotions is to change your body language. Emotions will actually follow your body language.
UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS
So change behavior first?
Amy Cuddy's research on "power posing" is controversial and here's a good discussion of that: www.nytimes.com/2017/10/18/magazine/when-the-revolution-came-for-amy-cuddy.html.
But I do think it's fair to say that for people who are feeling sad or depression, helping them to get active in some way is one of the easiest ways to change their mood. This is the big idea behind a highly effective treatment for depression - behavioral activation. For more on that I have this video: czcams.com/video/Gljq2FHzTvY/video.html.
Thanks for sharing! I can't comment on other peoples research but I just know in my own life that when I am feeling down, if I force myself to display confident body language that I actually end up feeling better.
I know what you mean. I always feel more confident in a suit than I do jeans and a shirt.
The Psych Show :)
I was quite confused from reading in some sources how we should always listen to our gut and follow our emotions, and then in other sources how we should be weary of trusting everything we think or feel... thank you for being the first who put the two together and also gave helpful questions with which we can figure out which approach is healthier in a given situation. finally some clarity.
You're so cool and thank you ! This is what is needed
Great video! Thank you…I struggle with social anxiety and it makes sense to face the fear to desensitise myself
I was thinking about the opposite reaction theory with regards to fear. When i was 17 I told my friend who had anxiety to hold my hand and identify the things that scares them, make a list and try to deal with them one by one at their own pace, together. We were young and life was less complex.
But this made me realise i have to learn psychology. I have to know how to help. And you are an inspiration, 2 years later. Love your content so much
Absolutely the best video on emotions I have seen on CZcams! Brilliant breakdown of what they are and I loved the different visual representations you mentioned available online. Awesome, awesome work on this video!
Thanks so much for taking the time to write this comment! It means a lot to get this kinda feedback. The script for this video took A LOT of time to write. It was hard to explain such a complex concept in a simple way. Appreciate your support!
Thank you. This was really helpful!
I like your rollercoaster analogy, it really shows how autonomic bodily responses are seperate to emotions. Great video :)
Thanks for feedback! Hate to complicate things but check this excerpt from a wonderful discussion of emotions (www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/02/hard-feelings-sciences-struggle-to-define-emotions/385711/):
"Consider the amygdalae, the two little oblong nuggets, one on each side of the brain, that are widely considered to be the seat of fear. A recent episode of the NPR show Invisibilia featured a woman who suffers from a rare disorder that left her amygdalae calcified. The patient, who goes by the initials S.M., does not report experiencing fear, a fact that would seem to solidify the connection between anatomy and emotions. But in 2013, researchers were able to trigger a fear response in S.M. and other patients with amygdala damage by having them inhale carbon dioxide. This makes the body feel like it’s suffocating, and the so-called “fearless” patients panicked, much as anyone would."
EMOTIONS ARE WEIRD!!!!
Absolutely wonderful. This is just what I needed. I’ve been studying emotions a ton, and this helped a lot.
Intense video!!! Blast of learning in the morning 🎉😄
"Blast of learning" is an awesome compliment :-) Thank you!!!
I just want to say very good job!
Thank you for making these videos:)
Well done. I appreciate this insightful one! AND, you make the topic so much fun. Another super great book (my FAVE psych book besides Oprah's recent book What Happened to You) is Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You.
Amazing! Thank you very much Dr. Mattu for this video, it has helped me :)
Happy to hear it!!! Thank you for watching.
This is great! Thanks!
I had my first panic attack a couple months ago. I believe that the panic attack itself traumatized me because I had no clue what was going on and I couldn’t control my reactions and really thought I was in danger. I’ve been doing meditation and exposure therapy, sitting with it or not reacting negatively in hopes that with time, it will become easier and easier and I can get my subconscious mind that thinks I need to be scared(fearful) to be on the same level as me right now, knowing I’m not in danger and that it’ll pass.
Emotional vocabulary is where it is at - an extensive emotional vocabulary it makes it a bit easier to identify and describe:
Mark Brackett - Permission to Feel
Brene brown - Atlas of the Heart
Best video I’ve seen ever
Thank you
love your content sir👌
Thank you SO MUCH
Interesting video - I'm hoping you will be putting out more videos soon? They are so helpful for many people and your delivery of information is entertaining too :) Are you just taking a short break from videos?
You are valued, you are loved and you are meant to be here ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
What do you think of using anger to create art? I have drawn an anger scale pie chart going from mild discomfort to rage with the physical symptoms on the inside and actions to take on the outside. I find creating art or music can help utilise this energy in a productive way. I also find that at higher levels of this complex emotion (that is closely linked to sadness/grief with me) physical action can help. Digging a big hole for a tree or shredding an old telephone book releases and reduces pent up energy that anger can create. If I don't use this energy it can turn inwards which hasn't been productive in the past.
Thanks for another informative clip, and thanks @12tone for suggesting your channel.
12tone is the best!
Using your emotions, whether they be anger/anxiety/sadness/joy, to create art is a wonderful thing.
I don't think my videos qualify as art, but my favorite ones have always been inspired by strong emotions.
Great episode Ali!
Thanks so much TJ!!!!
My list of emotions:
1) Nothing.
2) RAGING Anxiety.
I think mine comes on from stress. I literally just closed my eyes and took breathing techniques... I'll let u know if they have worked.
So interesting, thank you :)
Thanks!
No problem!
Nice presentation 🌹
I’ll check the Rock Steady book since I have bipolar. Thank you!
Nice one!
Thanks!
I love your videos
To me, it's weird that disgust and anxiety could be so similar among people. For me, disgust feels like an obvious and pure desire to avoid something while anxiety is more vague, sneaky, and generalized. It took me a long time to even understand when I was experiencing anxiety. Even now, I'm almost always aware of the fact that I'm acting differently before I'm aware of the anxiety that's causing me to act differently.
💜 this video. Every manager that I have had, thought that I could be easily taken for granted 😕. Instantly. Within the first month. And I just raged with anger in my head every time they pushed me too far. What is the emotion those managers had and how should I have handled that? Any help?
05:24 You say what you do with fearful/anxious and angry patients... But what do you do with the sad patients?
If the sadness reflects a real loss, a lot of what we do in therapy is make it easy to to discuss what's going on. The urge that comes along with sadness is to isolate and be alone so talking about it can help a lot. If sadness escalates into depression, then I help people take small steps to becoming more active and also avoid situations that make them feel depression. This video outlines how I do that: czcams.com/video/Gljq2FHzTvY/video.html. This video outlines how I help people who care for someone who is depressed: czcams.com/video/zJcjJ2MoPEY/video.html. Thanks for watching and sharing your question!
Many marketers currently starting to evoke our emotions by using emotional-appealing advertising tactics rather than rational ones. I'm currently studying marketing myself in an undergrad study. Even though I'm aware of the tactics, most of the time it's too late because I already bought the products. My question is, how to be aware of it and to avoid it? Because most of the time, emotions are the ones who make us irrational and do some stupid stuff that we regret eventually.
Advertising research is really interesting! Check out the elaboration likelihood model (czcams.com/video/VlqUPJ_LCrs/video.html) for more on this. If you'd like to learn more, this might be a good overview of the recent research: psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-54233-021.
Nice upload my friend 👍🏻🥰
This is the best explanation I get compared to my intro to psy teacher lol
The Buddhists have defined emotions pretty well, they are called the 51 mental formations. Worth a look. They also have some good insights into the relationships between anger, fear and sadness.
very nice ,
So my group of friends actually went off to a mall(we dont get that chance much often probably happens after a year or 2) and that day was a great chance of all of us meeting together, despite how hard they tried for me to come I was still denied back home because of covid! After that I felt so Distressed and Sad! And maybe started crying we dont get such chances more often and was denied! I tried forgetting but no matter how much I forget it still haunts every night and day!and worst of all it just happened 3 days ago!💔💔💔💔it happened before and it happened again!TWICE!NOW IM FEELING MISERABLE!
Even Darwin himself researched expression of emotions in animals as a way to support his theory of evolution. They indeed serve a purpose in our lives. Well told!
Absolutely! Darwin is where some of the early research came from. Thanks for watching!
@@drali I’m thinking about reading Freud someday. Any tips for how to study something like that?
how do u deal with extreme emotion sadness for e.g when we doing a public speak. all negative thoughts and emotions going through
I'm a youtube university generation. I learned here how to use photoshop, play the guitar and paint my room. Now I'm trying to understand my mind. Thank you.
4:30 and on: just wow.
Thanks for watching!
Now we have Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown :)
Also, this sparked a follow-up question: You talk about how it's not helpful to avoid your emotions. Rather, feel them and find healthy ways of expressing them, get used to feeling uncomfortable feelings, etc. Do psychologists have any kind of metric for HOW GOOD different people are at that? Is it a measurable skill? Like, "Sally is an expert at dealing with her emotions, but Bob is pretty bad at it." Sally is a 8.8, Bob is a 3.2. Are there any emotional heroes to admire? People who go through life and are hella emotionally okay?
Good question! The closest to what you're looking for is "emotional intelligence". Here's a definition of what this means:
"Emotional intelligence refers to an ability to recognize the meanings of emotion and their relationships, and to reason and problem-solve on the basis of them. Emotional intelligence is involved in the capacity to perceive emotions, assimilate emotion-related feelings, understand the information of those emotions, and manage them (Mayer, Caruso & Salovey, 1999)."
There are a few measures of emotional intelligence, but unfortunately nothing I could find that's free to take. Some of the measures look at how emotionally intelligent you think you are, some measures have other people assess your emotional intelligence, and some tests measure your ability to perform emotionally intelligent...things.
There are certain professions that tend to attract emotionally intelligent people. Acting is always my go to example. Therapy is another. But I can tell you from personal experience not everyone who becomes a therapist is emotionally intelligent.
Good news is there is a lot of stuff you can do to boost your emotional intelligence. Journaling, talking to people about your feelings, and doing some of the stuff I outline in this video will all help.
What do you think of the Myers-Briggs personality test? We studied that in a unit I did on Interpersonal Communication at uni and that was closely related to the EQ part of the topic.
Dr What if there was a way to track feeling using a person's heart rate?
Also a way to track the valence of a feeling along with dominance and arousal?
hey!
its akshara
i am from india
i really really appriciate your every sinle vedio
i watch em share 'em
and i want to learn about
the emotion-of controlling them,like sometime you shout on people ,even when mistake's yours
you know,how toh stop not really wanted emotions to come out
I would like to ask how to deal with Anxiety/panic attack. Thanks
Can you please do cbt for overcoming tinnitus caused by benzodiazapine withdrawal....I was only taking benzodiazapine fir one year but my nervous system is wrecked.....n I am in contant fear because of the sound of my tinnitus....I have constantly anxiety n cannot sleep at nite because I couldn't accept the sound of tinnitus n it's killing me ...I couldn't eat n unable to work anymore....last one year is am just at home n unable to sleep n constantly walking from morning to evening n pacing....please help me because nobody can help me...god bless you....I am stuck in Malaysia now
Do you have a video on OCD and how someone can cope with intrusive thoughts?
Sometimes I experience irrational fears or have a really bad thought and get scared by it. How do you get rid of these?
Good video my dear ones
I sometimes find unrealistic expectations are part of the problem. Not that the emotion is wrong; just that if you have a better understanding of a situation, it can help with the emotion. Also, as a Doctor Who fan, I've always loved how the Doctor expresses emotion so freely and it demonstrates so well how emotion helps us know who we are -- what we like and what we don't like. Legalism and political correctness, on the other hand, suppress all but certain allowable emotions; that can't be good.
You continue to inspire.. I’m going to start walking around eating out of a diaper.
Although we would have to agree and say everyone experiences anger, sadness, anxiety, etc. All because they have different emotions in same situations doesn't mean they don't experience them. Right?
Is love an emotion or feeling ?
very nice awesome
What emotions do you want to learn about?
The Psych Show anxiousness would be a great idea! Because it links to a lot of physical symptoms I think.
Grief, frustration, anger, contempt, heartache, ennui, guilt... all the fun ones!
Sadness, loss, learned helplessness, despair...
I've made a few anxiety videos about phobias and social anxiety, but not one about anxiety in general. Maybe I should make one video on every major emotion...
Haha...okay yeah that's a lot of feels. Maybe I should make a video for each of these...
Oh god! I have made it a point to not watch "Up," or "A Dogs Purpose" bc I know it'll be too much for me, and I'll cry to the point of fatigue. This video is making think that doing so might not be the best thing........
Is it normal to get a headache after being angry about something?
You expressed that you would 'never recommend to your clients to vent their anger because it would just rev it up' and that you would guide them to other emotions through aroma therapy or other such modalities. wouldn't that just be suppressing the anger to be reexperienced at a later date? aren't all emotions there for a reason and they need their own time to be understood and experienced? If we attempt to supplant anger with another emotion every time we experience it and we don't allow ourselves to process it appropriately isn't that setting yourself up for failure (i.e. an explosion)?
I've experienced this weird thing where I felt a tentative emotion, as if I were being offered a chance to choose an alternative interpretation. I was by default feeling anxiety and could instead interpret it as euphoria (which I did).
Omg! Is that why essential oils work so well for me? Am I just distracting my brain? If that's it, that's awesome!😂
What about emotions handling emotions that you feel are not okay to express? If you feel uncomfortable in anger, how to do you become more okay and comfortable with expressing it in a healthy way?
Disappointment, fear, depression.
Anger
Anger usually happens when your goal is blocked, someone you care about is being attacked, you've lost power or status, things haven't turned out the way you wanted them to, or you're going through a painful situation. To summarize, something has gone wrong to you or to someone you care about. It tightens your muscles, makes your teeth clamp together, your hands clench, you might feel hot like you're going to explode, and you might want to hit something or hurt someone. If your anger fits the facts, it could be helpful to act on it in a safe way to correct the wrong that has occurred. If not, practice the distress tolerance skill I describe in this video: czcams.com/video/0rZ_QSM_n6I/video.htmlm24s. I hope this helps!
Frustration, lack of self worth and an inability to overcome those 'waves of thought' can lead to anger at self which is reflected to the outside world. I have learnt/am learning to view anger as a battery of energy. Without the lower and smaller side of anger (dissatisfaction, uncomfortableness) is there just contentment? If a person is perfectly content would the need to do anything disappear? Is anger a necessary emotion to function?
Sheesh. All this time I thought venting or “letting out” our emotions is healthy.
But why, why my brain or body always overreact with emotions I mean if I got scared from something meaningless why's that happen?
You said do opposite of the emotion .. doesn't that supress it ???
Emotions I wanna hear about, huh? Let's talk about the ones that come with low self-esteem, feeling simultaneously ashamed and angry/betrayed when the people you spent time around taught you to feel unimportant, whether on purpose or not.
hello
meh had anger issue
Great video. But that focusing and un-focusing of the camera is pretty distracting. I found myself just listening instead of watching.
The focusing issue really annoyed me too. I fixed it on my last set but it seems to have come back on this new one. Hopefully I'll get it taken care of for my next video. Sorry for the distraction and thanks for watching!
Ignorance leads to fear...
We have basic affects. 8 of them.
Early research identified six basic emotions (happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust). Some psychologists say there are less than six, some say there are way more. And there are descriptions of emotions that don't translate across cultures: www.bbc.com/future/story/20170126-the-untranslatable-emotions-you-never-knew-you-had. So who knows! Emotions are weird..
You should focus camera
How to deal with panic attacks?
putting peanut butter on diaper should be illegal you know
I'm noticing your camera keeps changing focus. It might be worth turning off auto focus and set the focus to just the distance you sit from the camera.
Great content though!!!
Lol pnut butter diaper 😂🤮
Can you do a show on Narcissistic behavior? For some reason, I keep attracting Narcissists (I don't know they are until the end. Then I leave). I'm an empath w/ a huge heart so maybe that's why they're so drawn to me. They wear masks in the beginning which is why I fall for it smh. Then I snatch off that mask like Scooby Doo & the gang & then I leave.
I'm going to check out your other videos. Maybe you've already talked about Narcissism lol.
Gaining exposure to something uncomfortable is a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy right?
I think it’s exposure behavioral therapy
betrayal
Porque eres extricto youtube? 😈
tengo que hacer una tarea con esto y no entiendo ni pico :v
QUÉ VERGUENZA AMORRRRR FJKS
Am I the only one distracted by all that's there in the background 🤔