How to make a deep connection with someone
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- čas přidán 11. 01. 2021
- This is something that I've gotten better at with time. You can make deep connections with someone fairly quickly if you know what you're doing. This is a big part of what I teach my clients to do. Learning to master this will not only help your dating life but will make you a better person overall in life. This will make you unforgettable.
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Outro song: Thorn Beats - - Jak na to + styl
Pain is the best teacher.
That's facx
And sometimes the only one people understand
I all was thought that I was an introvert but now I'm thinking that I'm an extrovert because of how much I mess talking to people.
how does one get over anxiety or traumatic feeling once rejected
Pain sucks lol
Hmm, this actually explains why my friend does well with women with past trauma or issues, but never any "normal" women
There's no such thing as a normal. We all have issues and past trauma, otherwise known as "baggage."
When a girl said that she have issues is that a red flag
@@bennir3297 it is if she tries to pour the baggage on to you
@@thecowboy9698 Not everyone has a history of abuse, neglect or deceased parent. Those are the types he goes for
too normal is boring, vanilla, a never-ending routine of boredom and niceness
Many people are told nowadays that they have to hide their weaknesses. However, showing your vulnerability is a strength. If people can’t accept your vulnerability, they aren’t a good match for you.
Empathy is a muscle. While I struggle with approaching people out in the world (in the context of having no reason other than I want to talk to them) the people I have connected with, and especially women, have told me that they feel safe around me and they know I’m not going to judge them, but more so that I understand them. I think we should have the conversations about overcoming approach anxiety, how to best text a girl, and everything else, but at the end of the day, if you strengthen your empathy, you’re going to get next level results in your dating life, but also in your broader social life. People really just want to be listened to and understood.
I find pain before pain finds me
This is actually why many jobs and groups like the military have groups of new people going through horrible stuff at the beginning. It makes you build bonds by that shared experience.
Oh wow you address this
I had her in tears didn't even touch her that's a real connection
Funny guys have it easy at times
This isn't just throwing all your flaws out there to someone. It's strength and acknowledgement of them. You're the one in control; it's courage not through the absence of fear but despite it. Inevitably life will hit hard, you can't keep up the being perfect act forever. You have to be human. And show strength through that pain.
Despite how unrealistic it is, the movie hitch was as popular with women as it was men. That messaging about being yourself and being confident about it is sappy af but it wasnt like every woman was like wow what a trash message. Most actually liked that messaging.
Haha dude u looked bad ass like a rockstar with the long hair now you like a psychology professor
from the 90s
Dave Navarro
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅
Gentlemen, just to reiterate/emphasize do not do this too quickly with a woman! I made the mistake myself of becoming too vulnerable too fast with a woman, so much so that this woman ended up throwing me under the bus for it with a business partner. Like Lloyd said this is to be done after some time of getting to know your partner.
Yeah I thought I made that clear but in case it isn't read this guy's comment! lol
Amazing insight! Thank you for adding value to us Lloyd!
"Out of pain we are born."
I agree, so many coaches mention that you should always be happy and positive and uplifting on a date, and shy away from negative topics. Which YES, those are number 1 important attributes, but talking about hard times, with positive perspective, does work on a deep immense level. I used to always do it in high school, and early college, and wondered why So many women wanted me! Then when learning GAME, you learn other stuff that work well, but shy away from deep eternal connection that I mentioned above
this is interesting because a lot of people say never show emotional weakness to a woman
There is a way to do it correctly. You have to show them in a way that doesn't make you seem weak and emotional. You can't make it seem like you're relying on her for emotional support (very few women can actually do that for a man).
In other words talk about your past rationally. And explain how it affected you. That way you're showing "weakness" but you've conquered it
you have convey strength, but also come across as human (having normal emotion); this offers relatability and deeper connection
You can be vulnerable and honest without being weak or needy. It actually shows strength that you are not afraid to let your guard down because you have dealt with your pain...hopefully. Women love men who can show their strength and power in this manner.
@@Ash_Wen-li agree, it's okay to show emotions and being emotional vanurable is strength and considered as healthy in psychology. But just don't be needy, as if you're not in control.
Thank you for this video. This is an insightful summary of what I randomly did in the past (made some good friends through doing this) but never realized that it can be consciously practiced as a way to form authentic connections.
Wow bro. All my respect to you. This is the deepest advice I have heard from a dating couch so far. You are right, the feeling of total acceptance and non-judgmental attitude whats connects two people deeply
It's funny that this made me think about how my close friends got to become my close friends.
It was by sharing and talking about my lifelong problems. Them knowing and understanding what struggles I had and have.
Like when I reached a huge low point in my life and someone who wasn't close to me at the time helped me. He did by reaching out, caring and talking with me about it ans helping me fight against it. He became one of the best friends I have.
It was also how I got my first girlfriend. The big first topic we talked about which I can still remember was how depressed we both were and what struggles and scars we both carry(we both were very drunk at our first time meeting though).
Funny how some things happen
This is trauma bond isn't it? I think a very good relationship is when you manage to not stay in that stage only.
I think what he is saying is: share the full experience of being human with another human (joys and pains)
Good video man, so true that this only happens after you’ve been talking for quite a while. I’ve had two women tell me some painful stuff, I can tell they both feel close to me.
Absolutely Amazing Thank You So Much Man :) It was very insightful and is very important to have a deep connection with the girl ;) I found out that sharing pain makes her feel comfortable although she hasn't been open much about her pain... Let's see what happens next...
Lloyd you’re the goat of mentors.. nothing less🐐
I think this video needs a follow up. It addresses a connection with another by sharing ones pain but it doesn’t address how to get the other person to want to talk about their painful experiences. That in itself is a tight wire act. It needs to be drawn out of someone else in an organic form and not just a bold question of what makes you cry form of question.
I think it’s more important for the girl to share their stories based on the idea that guys need the girl to feel connected rather than the guy trying to get her to feel connected by tell her his sad stories. I think the guys stories will need to be shared later on when the physical attraction isn’t enough glue for him to stick around.
BEST ADVICE EVER. Thanks, Lloyd.
Your channel is the best thing that i habe come across this year, amazing dude
Just tried this... and it works beautifully !!! Thanks Lloyd !! awesome advice... :)
wow Lloyd... i mean i just went thru a bit of a tuff breakup and with this whole lockdown in toronto, its getting hard to find ppl... but the girls i actually had a decent relationship of 3 or more months were actually the girls i asked similar questions targeting deeper emotional pain on the first date... i didnt even think or remember why these relationships I felt more stronger towards.. but bang on brother for bringing this up... this is powerful!
True everytime I get into that the girl gets hooked quickly
Thanks for the update
I've seen many videos of yours sir. But this is the best one!
one of the best videos out there, you are very smart dude
Preach my brother these GEMS 💎 were solid 💯
This is actually spot on how me and my only girlfriend, now ex, got so connected to each and ended up in a relationship.
This video came at the perfect time
I can say for GD sure that this is absolutely spot on. I've been doing it since I got a divorce. Ladies are not used to getting into the deep end of the pool because most scrubs have no tact when they approach them. I pumped my fist when I heard this one. Great Job!
That helps a lot. Best video on the internet.
But be very careful at the start, before you become experienced
Don't come off as needy for attention. Don't show much of your pain so as to drive others instantly away from you.
Tremendous video my guy!
Exposure to vulnerability helps bring closure. When you share painful experiences with someone, it brings closure... but be warned it doesn’t work on everyone, especially a person who’ has mental health illness.
Why would you say that?
YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE DUDE!!!!!!🎃
This is why the girl I talk to is so into me because I relate to her pain cause I’ve been thru what she is going Thur and I’m giving her a chance to disconnect from that pain
Great content and message!
all grace to you my guy
I never really thought about it that way thx for the insights
Thanks man! you're really helpful.
that's truly profound dude
This is truly inventive material. A book I read with parallel innovation was also groundbreaking. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
''Don't do this right away. Do it after you've seen each other for a while '' it's like in Dr. Strange movie: don't put the warnings at the end of the spell! hahah
true ignacio, asking this right away is not good, i tried and said is too private, they need time, i'd say 3rd time you see her.
If the deep pain she tells you about, was caused by a different guy, she might be alpha widowed by him, and you need to realize that her emotional connection to him might be higher then she will have with you..
Emotions always effect people and get people together especially females.
still, you should spot where they come from before you spell your heart and get attached as well. always.
I trust your eyebrows. I sense much wisdom in them.
Damn Lloyd. I really respect this coming from you. Admittedly, I think often times when us guys come to these channels, we arrive with the mindset of 'I want to have sex or I want to sleep with her, I want to get her,' when deep down most of us are just seeking a connection with someone special. It takes a lot of maturity, or just enough fuck-ups, bad relationships, superficial encounters, one night stands etc. to realize that and get over thinking that physical contact is the only important thing. And with the pain part I do agree. In terms of dating / relationships, I think if I woman opens up to you and reveals some painful experience about her past it is not only a very good sign that she feels very comfortable with you, but it also comes with the responsibility of being able to listen to her and reciprocate empathy in a manner that is mature and compassionate, without allowing yourself to be a doormat for her emotions.
I had something similar happen recently where I went out with a girl at first in a friendly manner, and by the end of it I was so floored by her maturity, honesty and ability to open up about certain things relating to painful experiences, that it really made me feel a connection I hadn't felt in a long time. Don't want to get my head too high up in the clouds about it yet, but it was certainly not like a lot of other encounters I've had recently. Also too, I've come to the point in my life where I've gone past the whole notion of wanting my romantic life to be all about racking up a body count, and sleeping around. Now I feel like I can be dating a gorgeous girl, but if there is no connection deep down, I am just wasting my and her time in trying to pursue anything further. Keep up the good content man, your a much needed voice of maturity in today's dating environment.
Seems like it would make an awkward first date convo but good for later in the dating game
This bro deserves a subscribe and a like on all vids from here on out!
You’re tips seem genuine and I’m hoping will help me in the long run with this wonderful lady I met a little over a month ago.
She’s amazingly great, but has to go back to her home country after working here for only a short amount of time.
I’m trying to play it cool, but I know I will miss her. Any advice on how to approach a situation like this?
She did give me an open invite to visit and I will be taking her up on that for certain!
This video is powerful
I learnt this from Naruto and one piece and this guy taught me how to use that knowledge thanks man
Nagato/pain was well educated beyond his years
Ayyye naruto gang
@@kk-dc9uf I m a hokage
hey bro, i usually don’t comment but this was actually an amazing video
Non-needy vunerability is one of the most sexiest thing you can show a women.
Met a women, even tried to share my hardships with her. She struggled to understand me, because she never had gone through much hardships in her life like i had, life had treated her like a silver spoon baby. For her most improtant was wether we had similar likes and dislikes or not. We didn’t had many but still had some. Turned out she was still very immuture at the age of 23, we ended up really badly, but it was her choice, not mine. I always treated her right, i litrally poured my heart into her, but she had no reapect towards me or my efforts, she showed no compassion and tried to ghost me, i kept wondering what happend.
Never share too much of hardships with a woman. It will only backfire
@@emptysoul2757 true. been there. The less i actually care about the girl, the more she chases me. It kinda sickens me off, if you want empaty and compassion get a dog
Dude a girl REALLY has to qualify herself before you open up about hardships too much. It's good to throw some bait out, as in try to share hardships, but if she doesn't relate or give af she's nothing more than a hookup worthy person.
Dude its like you went and copy pasted my last girl! She didn't block me at the end, but she lost respect. Never actually understood the hardships, she agreed just to appease me and never shared hers.
Heard from another CZcamsr that Men feel hurt the most when they are vulnerable too soon and a girl leaves them bc of it in the same way that women feel hurt when they have sex too soon and the guy leaves after.
In two words: vulnerability and empathy.
Without pain, a masterpiece artwork of painting will just be a ting..
Wouldn't recommend doing this on a first date. Or even second. Keep it fun and light in the beginning.
Yo dude, I’ve been using your methods for a while now and I’ve been putting myself out there a lot more, your videos have really helped me boost my confidence so thanks! I have a question though, atm I’m talking to a couple ladies and they’re all into me by the looks of it, but I feel like I have a habit of playing the nice guy a little too much and I’ve lost interest in one of the girls, I’m not sure how to let her down and tell her I’m not into it, got any advice?
Hey Lloyd it’s been a while since I’ve watched one of your videos. I remember a couple months back when I was obsessed with girls cuz I never had one. But the time had come it was amazing she was my first for pretty much everything but unfortunately things didn’t workout events led to the break up it happens but it feels like she’s moved on already it’s been 2 months and half now but i still think bout her a lot miss her etc I’ve just been going to the gym now since the whole break up the gym has become my passion now and I’ve been using this break up and other things as motivation taking things one day at time. I know that eventually I’ll move on but at this current state I don’t think I want to date again especially with how society has this image on how all girls are the same everyday Im starting to believe it more and more the more I see a girl even my own friends that are girls it just makes me not to be around a female again atleast for a while.
Hey fellow stranger, the first was tough for me too. But it gets easier trust me. You will find someone better next time round. Don't cut corners and don't let them have any major red flags. Embrace the memory and become optimistic about the future. If you ever feel down, say out loud that you're a warrior and believe it in your soul. Good luck brother
@@JohnSmith-rn3xt yea I understand man eventually one day but for now I don’t want to be around any girls I need time to heal I’m traumatized and emotionally scarred I’ve forgiven her and I was there for her but I’ll never forget bout her idk what the future has for me but at the moment Im angry sad and frustrated
Thanks for the videos
This is the surest way into the dreaded friend zone
THANK YOU 💯💎
I know this firsthand. My ex girlfriend and I both saw our mutual friend die of heroin. It made us feel really connected
A lesson on how to be a more effective psycopath... Very well!!! This is the kind of advices we need to get better control over kind people. Bravo!!!
Lol
Ive trauma bonded enough to know it is NOT a good idea to trauma bond with someone.
Even an ounce of emotion called weakness.
BEAUTIFUL
It's risky, because people might use it against you.
thesame happended ot nme
Especially if you are unaware that you are opening up to a Narcissist, so take it with a grain of salt.
@@Ryudon13 I had a problem like that, but it was a psychopath, it was one of the darkest times of my life
Well said
Lloyd your hair looks amazing now. Did you hire a stylist or something? How'd you improve your hairstyle so much? Looks like you're using product even
Which is why guys in Special Forces are such tight friends, because they suffered together
You know the mention of hazing being shared pain is a big reason service members are so connected to each other. They fuck each other up for a while, and somehow they become best friends/brothers
someone gets it
I haven’t watched this yet.. had a girl come back into my life just before Christmas after 18 months and ended up back in bed together. Now seen she’s showing off another dude on FB. Man, she’s messed me right up :(
Now watched. This is interesting, we initially bonded because we’d both lost our mothers at the same age to the same disease. Her only recording and video she has of her mother I got put into a special video booklet, so she has a keepsake for life.
Yes, good techniques to build deep connections. I use the same method. It works well in my experience. Just too bad that I never run into attractive AND single women. I have now a large friends circle with gorgeous women I share very deep connections with,.. but there is nothing sexual going on. Very frustrating.
They exist they just only stay on the shelf for about two weeks before someone takes them
@@TheSingleGuy I interviewed several gorgeous women for a book I am writing. All of them explained to me that they were not single for even one day after they reached puberty. I see the same in my friends circle. All of the attractive women are taken and have lasting, stable relationships. There are studies from Germany and Sweden that show that if a woman is educated (university degree), with a job and reasonably attractive, then the likelihood that she is single is almost zero. It needs a lot of luck to find one and it is getting worse if you get older of course as more and more are married and have kids. Unfortunately, I can't make myself younger.
@@TheSingleGuy I don't think so though...
@Kuba P It's not pathetic, it's normal sexual market value dynamics. People with better education, that are successful and good looking have better chances, of course (independent of gender). They are also much more likely to have better interpersonal skills and the resources to form a lasting, relaxed, and entertaining relationship. Don't tell me that if you have the chance between a workless, overweight hairdresser and a well educated, good looking neurobiologist that you pick the first one! Will not happen.
@@ProfWho-ut5he most men are OK with the great looking young hairdresser who only graduated high school, especially if she has a good personality and decent intelligence so he doesn't embarrass him at parties. So many men have overturned their lives for nannies and secretaries.
Some girl actually did this to me in a manipulative way before (because I later found out it wasn’t honest and was her tactic to get guys or something) and it definitely worked. Because it made me feel very connected to her very quickly and then when she kinda ditched me soon after I still felt a lot for her
She kinda was like “ I just feel like I can talk to you or trust you and so I don’t normally tell people this but.. “ that kind of thing.
gold!
Amazing vid
Thanks man
Here comes the pain!! 😫😫😫😫
This was my go to growing up. But then after 24-25, I feel like this put me in the friend zone if anything.
So I dug deep through the internet and they tell me to flirt, be playful, never get attached and never be too serious. Done that too...still single.
Did you get laid though?
Just understand what any lady likes from listening more cause different strokes for different girls
People not usually open up easily with you and talk about their pain
It takes time
This is especially useful for a dude with demisexuality like me to finally start spinning plates XD
I never open up about things like struggles of life a trauma. Mainly because dating coaches always say not to talk about your problems to a girl you're dating
"The world will know pain; Shinra Tensei"
best arc in naruto lol
he says were needy but he has a whole wall of creative content lol
good stuff
this is guy is good
What behavioral changes should I display if I'm only looking for FWB and not a soul mate? On dates, on texts etc. @TheSingleGuy , a video if possible?
This was the biggest problem i had on my last date. A girl who was really into me on the app and on the date openly talked about her parents divorce. I am still kicking myself a month later.
She talked about her problems with you and what did you do afterwards? Like how did you respond?
@@brokenbutterfly3178 I acknowledged and listened to them but I didn't want to prod further cause I didn't want to push it.
@@brokenbutterfly3178 i tried my best to be supportive
@@youngsuit hmm I'm confused. Here's the thing. Often time I meet girls and sooner rather then later, they'll start talking about all their problems and what I've found is that the more I start to care, the less she wants to talk to me. Like the other day, I was flirting with this girl and idk how but she ended up talking about loosing her father recently and because I could relate, I did my best trying to help her make sense of the situation cause I didn't want her to go through the same shit as I did buy eventually midway, she stopped replying back. Haven't heard from her yet.
@@brokenbutterfly3178 damn. I truly don't know what to think. But in something like that, i can't imagine any other answer than to be supportive
1st view wow
I enjoy making. A deep connection with sombody
oh this is why soldiers in wars become like brothers
I feel connected to him watching this LMAOO
When are the best times to talk about painful experiences? For example, I don't wanna talk about pain when it's a beautiful day outside. There are times that I want to talk about those experiences but I don't know how to set up the mood.
preach Daddy
Damn 💯💯
This guy is a fucking gem
im cursed with loneliness, all tho i can make anybody laught, can talk with everybody and listen to their problems, being a naturale leader, having perfect gens and body shape for sport and fight, having giant spirit and intellectual level, when i do something i do it like nobody else can do, not depending on anyone, still nobody really cares about me and thinks how do i feel, always the black sheep in group in some way, i dont want to be lonely wolf anymore i want to lead ppl, all i get is pain, dont remember something that made me happy but didnt hurt me at the end so much that it wasnt even worth it, i can be so fucked up and go to sleep wake up next mornning like nothing happend even tho i want i to feel i cant its so agonising to repeat this, but my spirit is unbeatable and i never give up i will stand till the end and even after death came back somehow, but im tired i dont recognise myself anymore my energy got darker from all the pain, im... tired... a lot and i fear standing alone in dark with such power will change me to something horrible, just.... lonely... too... tired.....
ur same as me bro.. the thing is, ppl are envious.. everytime they see you, they feel shitty, cuz u feel good.. (if they envious, its prolly a toxic relationship, meaning when u feel bad, they feel good).. im literally in same shoes as u brah. .. impossible to change loosers, u gotta find ppl like u and me :) i would kill for someone like me...
lel im slovenian.. leggo GEIIIM TOGETHER :d
hello dear do you need any help I can help you out it worked for me WhatsApp me let's chat better.
Message me on WhatsApp.
@@stephaniephilip8995 can I msg u? I need help With this also tbh