The Dial of Destiny: The Anti-Indiana Jones
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- čas přidán 16. 05. 2024
- Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny gets every core element of Indiana Jones wrong. The movie is the opposite of what a good Indiana Jones movie should be.
Indy 5 Does Everything Wrong - 00:00
Broken old Man Indy (Trope) - 02:06
Indiana Jane - 07:37
Knock Off Shorty - 25:00
The Macguffin - 32:15
Generic Villain - 41:30
The Ending - 45:18
Plotholes & contrivances - 49:41
All Hail the OG Trilogy - 54:40 - Zábava
I am reposting this video after the OG upload was demonetized by CZcams. I had to delete the opening sketch but I will be posting that as a separate video tomorrow. Re-ups do far worse in the algorithm so I would appreciate it if you would like and comment on the video, it helps a lot. I greatly appreciate everyone who watches the videos and will be taking time tomorrow to respond to as many comments as possible. Thank you and enjoy the video!
sure thing, buddy!
If it makes you feel better, Indiana Jones 5 has been demonetized by the public.
@@AlcoholicBoredom best comment so far
You're a champion, DoA! Thank you.
You should pin your comment. No one can see it. It’s way down there on our screens.
KK even killed off Indiana's son and ruined his relationship with Marion. Talk about being spiteful.
I suspect KK had some serious man issues in the past. Now she seems to hate all men.
Transformers 5 killed Sam Witwickey. I think this is more spite to Shia LeBouff than anything
Lonovavir killed his girlfriend’s cat.
KK's face looks like she opened the lid of the ark, managed to close it before full melt . The diversity boss has lost them billions with zero reprisal or acceptance of blame .
@@milomacdonald4980 Have a beer, you need one right now.
Look on the bright side. At least Lucas and Spielberg can live the rest of their days knowing that they didn’t make the worst Indiana Jones movie.
South Park might have to change/update their Spielberg and Lucas "Raping" Indiana Jones gag
Have you actually seen the film?
@@alexpang5054 Unfortunately yes. I am pleased to say, however, that I didn't pay money to see it.
@@malickfan7461 Got it- no brain needed...
They sold him to Disney and women raped him to death with strap ons.
It would have been great if Ke Huy Quan had been brought back to play Short Round again; he may be middle-aged now, but he's still immediately recognizable.
His fight choreography in Everything Everywhere was great.
You can blame the Director for that. When asked why Short Round wasn’t appearing in the film, “it never occurred to me.”
Not to mention that he's a total fucking chad.
@@VenusHeadTrap2 ....really, he saiid that.
Can you imagine Short Round begging Indy return to the present in Archimedes scene? I would have wept like a biatch.
Saving his son could be a motivation for Indy to get the dial, and he and Short Round could go get it. Offcourse, it would succeed. He could go to Vietnam and disable the boobytap etc.
I quite like that, Short Round could act as an interpreter and do great martial arts fights. What could have been...
@@DespotofAntrim Oh well... makes good head canon at least.
I once got in trouble for the boobytap
@@DespotofAntrim Fan fiction must be written of this, now.
This would’ve worked without KK calling the character assassinations.
Seriously, they hit the previous video with a copyright strike. The movie is already bombing not like another negative review is gonna do anymore damage.
They know it. But Disney can't help themselves when they see an opportunity of ruin someone's joy. Apparently were some scenes from old movies, since the initial scene was cut out. As if it would do any damage at all.
Seriously? Removing anyone who points out/to anything bad/negative about them? So they're now officially Discount STASI ? Jeez, actual time travel - who'd have thought? Welcome to EAST GERMANY 1950-1990, folks.
Disney can do only one thing right--copyright claims. What a pity that most of their IPs will be worthless anyway by the time they're done ruining everything.
Ah, I was confused since I was sure I saw this one yesterday!
They got jealous. More people are watching this instead of the real movie
It's amazing watching the 'old' movie scenes. They look so crisp, bright and well framed. Compared to the 'new' movie even with modern CGI. It's like we're going backwards cinematically... Great work DoA.
That's Spielberg for you. This new stuff looks fuzzy and bland somehow.
I love classic movies that look like they were shot yesterday, they still feel like modern films, many of the VFX aged so well, even as a 10 year old kid I wouldn't guess when they were filmed, now that is timeless.
Thing about older movies is they could hold on a scene because that was the limitation of the time.
Now that there are no limitations nothing is allowed to feel grounded anymore.
Especially the stunts and action, Raiders is far better. Dial of Destiny is full of crap CGI, frantic editing and garbage choreography.
"It's like we're going backwards...." Kind of like comparing the recent Gotham Knights video-game to Arkham Knight which was released seven years earlier.
She is literally the exact same age as Shia LeBeouf. They had his son killed off-screen in Vietnam and then when he gets ahold of a device to go back in time and change the past it at no point occurs to him to go back to save his son.
Thank you.
But Indy says just that on the boat: wishing to travel back in time to save his son.
@@joachimvandenheuvel507 but why doesn't he?
@@TreblaineAs far as I understood the dial always brings you to the battle of syracuse because they were in a timeloop. Archimedes wears Volkerts watch in his tomb (which he took of his body after the crash). So events were always going to take place the way they did (it happened before at least once for the watch to be there).
And it's not a "classic" timemachine but just used to predict natural ruptures in time that bring you to time x. Control is limited or non existent.
@@joachimvandenheuvel507it still means indie would be able to leave a coded message that he can decipher so he could save his son and preserve the timeline
It felt terrible when they did it to Mark Hamill, Ewan McGregor and Pedro Pascal, but Harrison Ford? He's beyond A List, he's a part of Hollywood history, and to treat him like this in his own movie is just disrespectful to his legacy. It's a wonder no one talks about that aspect of it more.
The real shame is that he genuinely doesn't care. It was already clear that he didn't think much of Star Wars and Han Solo, but he definitely doesn't care about Indy except as a means to a paycheck
i believe KK was mad that Harrison didn't find her attractive or he told her to shut up and get him coffee once. And she has, like a woman, held her bitterness all these years to get back at him and us. The levels of evil from this woman with a Jezebel spirit. If they had to do a movie about the garden of eden. She would play Eve
I don’t think he cares. He just likes the money. Don’t blame him…
@@dontgiveinfoDoubt it. Her beef is with Spielberg and Lucas…
She'd actually fit the snake role better.
This is what happens when you let the woman who used to get the coffee run the company
I’m sure that the coffee was bloody awful. I use “bloody” because despite being an American with an Irish surname, she seems to want to be English.
@@markiangooley Knowing her and of her how I do now I wouldn't be surprised if she was spitting in that coffee.
@@simonl1135 yeah, just like she spit on the franchise
Do I sense some recentment towards Kathleen Kennedy? 🤣😂
You forgot to mention that she locked him in a room full of murderers that she brought with her, and then ran off. What a douche move. Leaving old man to die.
And he's her god father
Yes, but it closes the circle to the scene at the end when she refuses to let him die because in the meantime she has grown attached to him. It's called character development. Marion, Willie and Elsa had no development at all.
@@Pomoscorzo except nobody changed she didn't learn to be a better person and Indy is back to where he started.. horrible movie
@@avalond1193 If you think so. I'm sorry you couldn't enjoy the movie.
@@Pomoscorzo it's a fact there was no character growth and it was a trash movie and the fact that it failed at the box office is proof enough. But hey I'm glad you can shut your brain off and enjoy trash movies. There's nothing wrong with that I like a few stupid movies too I enjoyed 1997 Batman and Robin and I even enjoyed killer clowns from outer space. You do you.
Ik the video is old but I cannot describe how much I despise Kathleen Kennedy. You really should deconstruct her since she loves the concept so much.
Agree entirely
I bet she secretly donated to very weird child base drag shows
This! Let’s see that video!
There's a lot to say about "Crystal Skull," but I can at least appreciate using a villain party appropriate for the time instead of shoehorning in the friendship windmill people.
I also didn't mind the concept of 'Aliens' PER SE, as the film was set in the 1950's. The UFO scare was HUGE at the time, as both Spielberg and Lucas likely experienced. It was just poorly misused.
It's eerie how well the child's song matched the dance moves of the sand people.
Isn’t it. It’s not just an infantilization of storytelling, characters, but also of a people. They’re actively diluting the stories we tell each other, to try to distort and stunt the development of the people being told them. A people are only as good as the stories, morals, values, scruples, norms and beliefs that they can convey and pass to future generations. We aren’t allowed to tell tales of compelling characters in complex new epics or stories, because it would make our minds more versatile and challenge our world as well as ourselves to dare strive for more and do better.
You know. I don't share the negative view on that scene.
As bad as the show was, I think that particular scene was actually kinda cool as it simbolizes how the character was accepted into a very recluse warrior society that survives in one of the harhsest environments in the SW universe. And dance has always been an aspect of more tribal societies. It is likely a reference to a Maori haka, or some native amazonian dance. Maybe it seems silly, but then again, most foreign and strange customs do, so I don't think the jank completely ruins it.
Anyway... The show was bad, but I don't think that scene was one the bad moments of it.
Not to mention they've replaced his son with a goddaughter so it's pretty obvious what the agenda is, not to mention Shaw punching Indi is KK punching Indi (or Harrison Ford)
There is simply no way that PWB would be able to punch Indy hard enough to knock him out without breaking like four bones in her hand.
And we're supposed to like Helena after she commits an act of elder abuse on Indy? What is Disney condoning here?
I mean, he’s the new Red Hulk… Not that these movies crossover I’m just saying Harrison Ford has been an action star for decades…
21:50 - "...the physical manifestation of clumsiness..." That is genuinely a perfect description.
Also just gonna say it, the only way this movie could've been saved is if it was revealed that Phoebe Waller Bridges character was basically the same as Elsa from Last Crusade, a greedy, selfish individual who joined with the Nazis strictly for personal gain, whose greed is ultimately punished by the artifact at the end of the movie while also reminding Indie why he's still the best even as an old man he respects the artifacts and what they mean, while Phoebe Waller Bridge, bullshit skills or not, only saw them as stuff to make money off of and was rightfully punished for it.
Elsa is more redeemable
a way less charming nor attractive version of Elsa.
Elsa was really hot though. The actress is still a bombshell all these years later. Phoebe Waller Bridge… makes me question why they didn’t hire someone at least as cute as Marian, Elsa, or Willie (even as annoying as she was she looked cute)
Disney has a pattern of trying to make the obvious villain the hero, not by showing them do good things, but by other characters telling us they are good or by using music.
Reva is an evil, child-killer allying herself with evil for personal revenge. Yet we are supposed to sympathize with her.
Scarlett Witch tortured a town, including children, but we are told that no one will know what she sacrificed.
Being a woman in a Disney movie means never having to suffer the consequences of your own evil actions.
@@choreomaniac To be fair, in WandaVision Wanda deluded herself into buying the fantasy. She felt guilt and horror at the revelation that the people were anguished and suffering. The "they'll never know..." line was said by someone who was sympathetic to Wanda, but Wanda herself seemed to realize that she deserved the judgment of the people she hurt even if she made a sacrifice. (The Doctor Strange movie f---ked up the potential that WV set up though)
Gotta love an Indiana Jones video that starts with a detailed reference to 19th century French politics. Kudos.
Dude i just wanted to say, as somebody who pretty much listens to media-critiques and essays all day long while working, you have very quickly grown to one of my favourites. Your work is very interesting, honest and witty. You have a nice voice to listen to, a very good speaking-speed and -rhythm and should have way more followers. Your cleopatra video is a masterpiece and i was very surprised by the historical facts you brought up - the same goes for the musical observations in the arielle video.
Keep doing what you are doing!
Thanks very much for listening. I'm glad my videos have made it easier for you to get through the workday. And I appreciate the feedback about my speech style.
I really appreciate that you still allow us to view the jokes that get these videos demonetized even after the reupload they are cut from. I don't usually comment but your channel has been far and away one of the funniest and most entertaining up and coming channels on this site, and I was lucky enough to find it when you had around 3k subs. Also as a history buff really enjoy the humorous history references sprinkled throughout your videos. Thanks for the consistent, high quality entertainment and keep up the great work!
You're very welcome and I'm glad your enjoying the history references. My next video contains my favourite history reference yet.
Agreed I'm loving his content.
If they wanted to replace Indiana why didn't they bring back Shorty?
Because their agenda wasn't to replace Indy with another man. Feminist sexism at its finest.
You KNOW we would have all been onboard for that! It would have been such a sweet legacy moment. Especially considering how people feel about Ke Huy Quan!
Cause he's old as shit now too
Compare the scene in *Temple of Doom* where Shorty is wearing Indy's hat to the scene in *Last Crusade* where Indy first receives it. "You lost today kid, but that doesn't mean that you must like it."
Seriously, Shorty would have made a much better successor than either Mutt or Helena.
@@grantorino2325
I actually liked Mutt but Shorty would have been a great runner up for Indy.
Think back in Temple of Doom, Shorty was able to take punishment, is a relentless fighter, is resourceful albeit clumsy but resorceful, and was given the hat by Indy.
Another great analysis.
I’m tired of seeing “strong women” shoehorned into the lead role masked behind the title of a successful male character that always gets dummed down.
me too
@@TheSmilingAmerican I miss when female characters where intelligently written instead of being made into narcissistic insufferable bitches, we need more Ellen Ripleys
it's their message to all woman : can only compare with men when they have super power and men are handicap
@christa_bell
These writers don't know how to write women any other way. And I think that's being allowed on purpose.
Seriously starting to get the Joan of Arc gag from Family Guy -
Joan: HEY GUYS! I'm not like other GURLS! I kill people, and burp, and watch so much p*rn! Isn't that cool?!
1st knight: No...
Joan: I like a lotta goofball comedies that other chicks don't like! My favorite thing to play is Call of Duty! Look me up, I'm GuitarGURL76!
2nd knight: Let's burn this chick at the steak.
Excellent observation between Helena and Elsa from Crusade. While we could hope for a happy ending for Elsa, she has to acknowledge where she's gone wrong to achieve that ending. She doesn't, and because there's a standard - dare I say, a moral standard - she's held accountable. It didn't have to be that way, so it's regrettable, and stands as a lesson.
In the face of that, Helena's blissful hubris in being completely above reproach for the kind of person she is is infuriating. She fully expects the powers that be to smile upon her, or perhaps she thinks she's above them. This is a character born from a sociopathic mindset, an inexorable monster that challenges all that is decent with its smirk, and reflects a creator poised to rain self-righteous rage on anyone foolish enough to accuse it of flaw.
It doesn't just make for an unlikable character. It makes for a character a decent, thinking person can't help but hate.
Thank you for your time, energy, and insight in these dark times.
Great summation of Helena.
Fleabag is honestly a more hateable character as at least Crusade had the guts to admit Elsa's association with evil, but have Elsa's characterisation match her plot role.
Helena is written and presented as a villain but for some reason won't directly sell to the nazis, then Indy seems guilted into siding with her as his goddaughter despite her being an adult.
Great video!
SPOILER:
When you consider that the movie was originally supposed to end with Indy's death and that the woman was supposed to take Indy's role from here on out, the plot suddenly makes even more sense...because the entire movie showed her superiority and actually serves just to introduce her character!
Worst way to abuse a popular genre and character to turn it into your own version. Obviously, bad and stupid! F Disney!
I can’t believe they thought that would be a good ending. That would be a complete mess and the movie would be even more hated!
It is KK and Iger who are doing this. Most people will say YES to anything to keep their jobs. I see it everyday. The higher the position the more spineless and degenerate they get. The deputy bosses will sell their parents and children and lie through their teeth for a 20% bump in wages.
We have a female Indy. Lara Croft.
As to Indy closing his eyes during the Ark scene, I'd say that's more him understanding its role in the Bible. One thing no mortal man can do is look at God so Indy, seeing its power would do the only thing he could do while tied up: show God's power the respect it deserves. It's a testament (heh) to his studiousness regarding history, myth, religion and culture. Belocq and co die because they believe it to be a weapon. Indy knows better. He's not blinded by ideology and respects the Ark as a vessel of God's power. That little moment is laden with so much meaning and characterization and we just shrugged it off as kids!
Yes, and if only movies had a moral center or framework, even if it didn't abide by it. I don't think that you can tell a story to a general audience without everyone understanding "the rules," -- cuz nothing would make sense otherwise.
To answer you, I'd say closing one's eyes to not look inside the Ark of the Covenant because you would die is something any Christian or Jew would work immediately know. Probably you make note of it in a big way because you aren't a Christian or Jew.
Thank you for pointing it out. In the Bible there's several cases of people burned alive for daring to gaze at the contents of the Ark. The only one allowed to do so being Moses. It's so subtle and clever that it goes over most people's heads.
@@KoopaMedia64 No, many Christians wouldn't know that. The details of the old testament isn't focused on much by most churches, outside of a handful of basic stories (The Garden of Eden, Noah's Ark, Jonah, Samson and Delilah, David and Goliath, Moses freeing his people from Egypt). Jews, though, yeah; if you've read your Torah, you know the price for arrogance and disrespect of God.
I didn't maybe me and my friends were weird but we would sit there and talk about movies when we weren't watching them. We probably talked about that scene for at least 20 minutes which is a long time for teenagers. Were they ghosts were they angels? Could the Germans have weaponized it somehow? Maybe carry it under a plane hoping people would look at it?
Wow, for someone who'd avoided seeing this due to what Disney had already done to Star Wars, Willow and all too many others, you've unravelled more layers of contemptibility in the thing than I could've dreamed! Thanks for suffering through it so I didn't have to.
Minor correction-the sankara stones were created by Shiva to destroy evil. It too, is an artifact of light. The cult perverted its power for their own purposes. That’s why it gave Indy strength to defeat the thuggee.
This guy clearly has issues:
1) The Sankara Stone are evil.
2) Muslim shorty is a little $***
He can't separate his objective artistic criticisms from his own personal prejudices.
@@JonStark-kf8tb
1. Makes mistake on artifact of a movie
2. Dislikes a character regardless of his race but because he’s a shit character
Your fucking stupid brain: “Racism”
Heck, even Crystal skull gave the skull a semblance of soul and powers. and the villain was punished at the end for their assumptions
Times like this I thank God I grew up in the 70's and 80's with our unneutered heroes.
I feel bad for kids today, no good new music of their own, very few good movies. At least they have TikTok.
@@DespotofAntrim Indeed!
Nothing much can influence them into making good music and movie.There will be less in future.
You Boomers and Gen X assholes are responsible for making heroes neutered today! Thanks for not giving us what you had 😒
We grew up in the best possible time of cinema. The greatest movies ever made were created at the perfect time of our growing up. I saw every Star Wars movie in the Theater. Also, Bladerunner, Indiana Jones (all 3), all the Ghostbusters, Conan, Star Trek TMP and WOK, Back to the Future, Aliens (I was too young for Alien).
Then there was the discovery years of VHS rentals -- that was a fun adventure... going to non-chain local video stores and finding all the things I missed -- like The Thing, Alien, and many others.
The 90s had some kick ass movies as well. Fight Club, Shawshank Redemption, and many others.
The entire last decade has been a grey blur of sludge pumped out of an industrial strength sewer designed to convert art to sh*t and spray it all over the culture to lower the standards of mankind and dull the already sterile minds which the school system have purged of virtue.
I fear that our society is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. A collapse would be preferable to what they've got planned for us in coming years. The kylling fields are already being planned in the West. Our leaders and their useful idiots are performing the paint-by-numbers Maoist cultural revolution -- their endgame means to riddle the countryside with deep pits filled to bursting with dissidents and many other innocents.
You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs... though these vile parasites have yet to show us this omelet they've always bragged about.
15:51 Your description of two Bonds getting in each other's way sounds like a good premise for a spoof movie. Two expert secret agents from different agencies, technically on the same side though neither is aware of the other, constantly step on each other's toes as they try to nail the villain.
Austin Powers did that (but with a female spy working with 'bond'), I liked them when I was a kid but have a feeling that they've aged badly.
@@DespotofAntrim Austin Powers is a straight up comedy, though. I was thinking it could be played more like a straight spy movie going off the rails. As the audience, we get to see them set up their brilliant heists and then watch their reactions as the best laid plans go haywire when they clip and crash into each other. Kind of like Rush Hour, only the buddy cops aren't even aware of each other until the end of the second act.
So... 3 Stooges meets Get Smart?
Hobbs VS Shaw is pretty close to that, except they work together
More or less The Man from UNCLE with Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer
Finding your channel was like striking gold.
Welcome!
I find it very, very disturbing how many recent examples Disney has put on screen, of attempting to depict female-on-male violence as justifiable, even when the man presents no threat.
As a history buff and teacher, I really appreciate the opening example. Your stuff is top notch and I love it all
Thanks. The Franco Prussian War is very underrated.
@@DespotofAntrim especially with Alsace Lorraine and the future problems that caused lol. Seriously though, all your content is top notch and your arguments are spot on. Man I miss 80s and 90s movies
What’s even funnier about this movie flopping so hard is that Oppenheimer is coming out in 10 days and will absolutely bury what little profit this movie is trying to squeeze 😂
I'm really waiting for it, it will be an eyewash after seeing Indy 5. Don't forget about Barbie, althougt I don't care very much about that one, I'd rather go watch Mission Impossible.
Having seen Oppenhimer, I can fully agree!
The Ark worked so well as a character because people at the time the movie came out were more familiar with the Bible and knew the consequemces of touching the Ark or seeing its internals.
The opening bit where you explain the Franco-Prussian war and then proceed to compare it to Dial of Destiny is.. actually pretty informative and creative.
This breakdown deserves an Oscar
Best Review I've Seen Of This Movie So Far.
@@richardtracy8242 It is brutally accurate. It's a shame that the Red Letter Media guys, who once gave a legendary breakdown of the imbecility that was 'The Phantom Menace', now just think 'Dial' is stupid and mostly boring, but are completely oblivious to the Cultural Marxist agenda at play.
I didn't see the movie and I'm glad I didn't. This review is one of the best reviews I've heard in a long time. You can tell there was a lot of thought and effort put into the script. I really appreciate more CZcamsrs standing up to Disney's bullshit!
I loved the reveal that Nick Fury's rise through the ranks of the government was solely due to the influence of friendly skrull infiltrators. Because without alien help, Nick-Fuckin'-Fury would have never left the night security desk, I guess.
The Skrall were an allegory for affirmative action all along!! /x-files theme 🤯👽👀
Apparently Samuel Motherfucking Jackson doesn't want to be the badass anymore.
This is the best video ever!
The Citizen Kane of reviews. 10/10
Stupid Disney Censorship go SUC IT
Thanks man.
Phoebe waller bridges chin could hit a home run holy shit
And Phoebe Waller-Bridge will portray Lara Croft exactly the same as Helena Shaw if the Tomb Raider adaptation goes ahead. I'm sure the investors in Tomb Raider will feel they spent their money well 🙄
Dude Lara Croft is suppose to be attractive. What happened to Alicia Vikander?
A film which avoided the Disney stupidity of disrespecting a great character was "Mr. Holmes." That film had Sherlock suffering from dimension, but he was still very knowledgeable about crime solving, bee keeping, and various other subjects that Holmes knew.
Mr. Holmes was great. I watched it, then showed it to my mom and she loved it. I think it's underrated.
*dementia?
2015 was the very early years of this woke crap. 2019 is when it really intensified. Lately Ive been watching a lot of movies with my girl and I know if its made before 2015 its gonna be a mostly non-annoying movie.
They could've easily achieved the same plot by having an old colleague of Indy's (maybe somebody who's aware of the Ark of the Covenant) coming to him for help because he knows that Voller is a proud Nazi and has the CIA getting something for him, and nobody is willing to hear that the man who put America on the Moon is about to start the Fourth Reich. Indy could even go on this adventure with Mutt, or Short Round. He could have a development of longing for his younger, more exciting days, only to realise that he's had a good life and finally retire.
The idea of old Indy going on an adventure as the mentor to his two sons sounds like a great premise. Very Batman Beyond esque.
Makes me miss the 80's even more. Seeing 80 year old Indy is somewhat demoralizing.
The best alternative I've heard suggested is have him as an old mam who still has something to give to the world, not a dour old wreck.
80-year-old men can still be action heroes-if they rely on *experience* and *wisdom* instead of strength or speed to defeat their enemies.
In the 1980s, one of the biggest TV action stars was Edward Woodward as *the Equalizer* . Mind you, that was also back when Hollywood didn't hate men (of all ages) as much as they do now.
By the way, what was the title of that movie in 48:45 where the protagonist admits to having achieved nothing?
We all age but it’s not all decline. We can grow in knowledge, wisdom and magnificence. 80 year old Indy can be consulting, training others, acquiring new hobbies/skills- showing the unending curiosity that is the adventurer’s spirit.
Great analysis of the previous films, especially the 'items as characters' part. Last Crusade is my favourite - the Arthurian legends are the perfect subject for a heroic archaeologist
I have seen many reviews of this film. This is by far the best , that's not to put the others down , but this is in a different league.
It should be called the Dial of Dysentery.
I call it the Diaper of Dysentery
The Denial of Disney
Diarrhea of Dysentery.
Diatribe of Depravity
"Age is just a number."
Might wanna watch that phrasing, Despot.
My favorite part of the Belloq scene where they're drinking is that Marion was trying to drink him under the table like she did in the Nepalese bar, but Belloq states he grew up drinking what they're drinking.
Then she "drunkenly" pours a shitload of it on the mat instead of in her glass.
Can't tell you how glad I am to find this channel. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Also Despot just gonna say glad to see you singing so much praise for Temple of Doom. So many people like to rag on it as the worst Indiana Jones movie but it's my favorite of the original 3 and glad to see someone else so it the respect it deserves. THankfully, with Dial of Destiny out, no one can call it bad anymore.
With Crystal Skull nobody could call it bad already 😂 but yeah, Temple of Doom is unfairly maligned, prolly because the baddies are a "minority" (of about a billion) and not muh nazies...
@@marbellaotaiza801 Which is extra ironic since the movie starts showing us Indians who are more or less kind and compassionate people, and it's only the Cult aka a small number of them, that are shown as the bad guys,
It’s not the worst, not after Crystal Skull. My main problem with Temple Of Doom was the girl. She screamed too much, it was overwhelming. Shorty could be a bit annoying, but he was also fun and endearing. I just couldn’t stand her.
@@sydneyslaughter7163 I never had a problem with Willie screaming since she's not some experienced adventurer like Marion or Elsa, she's a singer dragged into an adventure and having to deal with a lot of stuff most people in her position would react similarly to.
I didn't know some people didn't like Indy 2 until I came into the internet (same thing happened to me with the Star Wars prequels and other movies I loved) I always thought it was a very good movie, just as good as the other two, a good adittion into the franchise.
In "As Good as It Gets" Jack Nicholson's character answered the question "how do you write women characters so well?" by saying he thought of a man, then took away all reason and accountability. Even though that was in the 'pre-enlightened age that we're living in now (:|),' the statement was widely recognized as mouth-droppingly misogynist. Ironically, this is Disney's 'go-to' template for writing female characters now.
The reason they put her in to be another Indiana Jones...I believe...is because Doomcock's reports of the original ending were right. I think she was meant to replace him by having him die in the past, then she picks up the hat and the whip, then there's a montage of her going through all the Indiana Jones' movies whipping and shooting her way through, doing it better than the male Indiana Jones ever could. This of course rightfully pissed off all the test audiences,, not to mention the leak of the ending ruined KK's plans. The ending that was put in the movie...you can totally tell it was tacked on last minute.
i'd say indy and mutt had great chemisty, going from mutt needing indy to help find a father figure, to him respecting indy's experience and toughness to bonding with him as his father.
hell, mutt is a far better character than helena because he has flaws and a character.
mutt is intellgent, noting that he likes books and reading but only real books but he's not experienced. he is annoyed by his mother but loves her enough that he would fight anyone who would disrespect her. he has a short temper and tries to protray himself as a tough guy. he respects indy for being smarter than him, like he does with ox, and willingly listens and learns when indy tells him about something. he further respects him when he shows that he isn't just some tight ass professor and that he can kick some ass. he has a respect for history and artifacts. he's smart enough that indy can bounce ideas and theories about the crystal skull. he's a good swordfighter, which is a skill indy lacks. he doesn't like guns, which his dad loves to use. and he's shown great team work with indy when they escaped from the russians in the jungle.
mutt was his own character who filled in gaps that indy had but didn't overshine him. and more over, indy would take the role that his father did in TLC. mutt should've been in this movie in place of helena.
I quite liked Mutt and Shia Le Boeuf was good, but there's no way Disney was ever letting two white men front one of their movies.
comparing it to the franco-prussian war lmfao, dude you're a genius not gonna lie
Crystal Skull wasn't the best movie, but for Indy's character a nice and well deserved conclusion: he married the love of his life and he got a son who was in the right age to bond with.
Remember when Indy's father said Indy left when he became interesting for him to talk to him? Mutt was in that age and I thought it was a nice touch.
I've turned the corner and now enjoy the way you say "power"/"pyre" at least once per minute in these vids
Excellent content Despot and agreed totally! You should have 3.6 million subscribers. Keep up the great work!
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
If this is Fair Use... why, YT, do you guys demonetise this video?
What the heck is going on? Can't critics say the truth about these moves anymore?
Insane.
Great video, Despot. Spot on.
This was an excellent video! Appreciation to your hard work in making this!
Fun fact one of the largest and most unfortunate issues that hampered Napoleon is that he developed hemorrhoids that had him retreating from his forces to apply 1800s treatments.
@@mclovinfuddpucker are... are you hitting on me?
😂
British propaganda
@@JaMeshuggah found the Frenchman
@@Eggs-Benedict-Cucumber-Patch 1. Napoleon was not French. 2. Part and Parcel.
I won't lie this movie could have had a good set up: Futurism vs the wisdom of age. Voller is ruled by his desire to control the dial, to use its science for his wim. Unlike Beloq, Mula ram and Donovan, he's not interested in the history and wisdom of the dial. Instead of Indy loosing his touch, it should have been a man out of time story. Indy's classes have less and less students because honestly by the sixties no one gave a shit about archaelogy. Computer sciences, astronomy, and over all the development of modern tech was taking over, and the interest in having archaelogical finds was dying. It wouldn't be till that tech caught up would there be a renewed interest. Something like this was almost done in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but it wasn't handled well. Hellena could honestly have been a student, one who was more opessed with the profit of the dial, rather then what it represented. And as the story progresses, Indy influences her to see how important history actually is. Just saying, Indiana Jones helped so many people become interest in Archaeology and history, this movie could have been a love letter to the field itself.
Excellent review, as always, and 'well done'. What I do wish the script could have included was a nod to Indy's outfit (jacket, bag, whip, all of it...all of those accessories we adore), but in an ironic way, as if Indy's looking at a different country, a different time. And when inserting himself into it, he does so almost as if he's 'rediscovered' an ancient lost treasure - running his fingers along a sewn rip in his jacket, the bullwhip seared with use, his hat or perhaps a number of hats, and his old bag; patched and discoloure and containing some old recipts or pages of who knows what...perhaps some ancient dust? But there was none of this: he just did a Mr Ben. I would have appreciated a 'moment' where the outfit takes him back...takes us back. Perhaps this is too much of a trope, but as tropes go...
Oh, also: If one looks lazily at the title of the film, you might think it reads 'The girl of destiny'. It doesn't of course, but could they possibly be trying something subliminal??
Knock off Shorty brought my blood to a boil when he dared to rob Indy. Straight up stole his father's watch.
Just a heads up Despot, you’ve got a few seconds of black screen at 43:19 and some audio overlap at 44:03. I doubt they’ll hinder the vids performance though, being so late in it.
How did Lupin the Third: The First (2019) do a better job capturing the energy of Indiana Jones than a movie called Indiana Jones 5 and the (death of Disney)
Because it's Lupin the &^%$!@* Third, he doesn't get touched by KK, he gets _Hayao Miyazaki_ as a guest director.
Hopefully Peter Jackson get buisy making the second 3D animted Tintin movie soon :)
Lupin the Third would make a fool out of these hacks if he was real.
Your explanations of these movies are literally the best takes on the internet. Keep making these videos and you will easily have 1 million subscribers soon.
Bahahahaha. Brilliant. Good morning from Belfast. I’ve been listening to the critical drinker for quite a while now and think he’s superb I found you not so long ago and started listening to your reviews. Absolutely brilliant chum and I’m delighted a fellow northern Irishman can deliver such cracking reviews in those dulcet tones we love to use in humour. You genuinely make me laugh properly thank you.
Good morning man. Thanks for the kind works. Glad you're enjoying the channel!
Kathleen Kennedy sure see a reflection of herself on this type of character....
That bit with the ai art was hilarious.
In order to avoid the algo I'm going to just say, your singing voice is amazing! Keep it up man!
You have no idea how true that is.
That was the best Indiana 5 analysis video I seen on CZcams! & I LOL’d many times. Your analogies are hilarious! looking forward to watching all your videos. Keep up the great work
I feel like I wouldn't mind the Sand People arc as much in Boba Fett if they kept him as generally a hard brutal when needed bounty hunter. After all, it could show he tried a normal life and a peaceful resolution but after his new tribe gets murdered it brings back the Old Fett and makes him become the new Dictator of Tatooine or something. I mean even in the Mandalorian he was willing to let his Ex-Imperial Sniper he saved take out Grogu to get his armor back showing he is more or less still the old Boba Fett even in the fight scene just to have him neutered in his own show then turned in to Mando Season 2.5 for the last few episodes... KK ruins everything she touches.
Idk man when I think boba Fett I think of a stumbling middle aged out of shape man getting his ass kicked by everyone and losing every fight he's in.....wait no I don't, this is some bullshit.
Didnt i watch this yesterday? Why do CZcams strike everything?
In the press interviews with HF and PWB, PWB referred to the film as their movie. Says it all.
Mr Plinkett's sentiment is now truer than ever before: you can't just take an elderly Indy and try to do a classic Indiana Jones adventure. All you end up doing is watering down that special sauce. Judging by Logan, James Mangold probably could've done something amazing and unique with old man Indy if he was given more creative freedom.
Commenting again for the reup. Great video to the collection of your already great reviews. Thanks!
How does that children's music fits so well with the clip from the Boba Fett show? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I can binge this whole channel, great work mate
Thank you, enjoy the videos!
Oh my god...why did they not leave it as a legendary trilogy? Despot, you've saved me money i would have wasted. Thanks again for an excellent presentation. I've watched the original trilogy many times after watching them originally at the cinema. Indy was a man's man, slowly turned into something unrecognisable in the last movies. Sad to see a legend reduced to this. Crying into my popcorn 😢😢😢
I haven’t seen Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in a while, but why the hate for that movie? I remember it being leagues better than DoD at least
Your ability at linguistic gymnastics is unparalleled bro truly entertaining to hear your explanations of everything they do wrong it’s great work
Could the mordant British World War 2 joke my American grandfather brought home have its origins revealed in this video? "Why did the French plant trees along the Champs-Élysées?" ... "So the German army could march in the shade."
Interesting how they went with a sci-fi premise with Han and Leia, I mean Indy and Marion being divorced.. How many couples actually divorced in the 60s? Was it even possible? Like I said... Science fiction
Great work, love your channel, it's going to blow up dude, keep at it!
It really is a damn shame that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg didn't have the foresight to make Crystal Skull the final movie to defend Indiana Jones' legacy.
Instead of Indy having a son in Crystal Skull it should've been Shorty as an adult with him and Indy going on one last adventure together with Indiana frequently saying that he's getting too old for this.
At the end of the movie he passes his iconic fedora to Short Round as a symbolic passing of the torch. Indiana is ready to retire and enjoy his golden years while his surrogate son goes on to become a great adventurer in his own right and striving to live up to his adoptive father's legacy.
That's what I would've done anyway.
A good friend of mine went on a date to go see this movie
Poor fella is single again
Feel bad for them and their date
Bullet dodged, money well spent. 💸
9:55 I reckon if Feeble Wallet-Drain absolutely, positively, definitely MUST be in this (or any) movie - get her down on all fours - perhaps - PERHAPS - she can be (moderately) useful as a coffee-table (kinda makes sense - what with her astonishing level of wooden acting; which makes Shatner appear Shakespearean in comparison). Just suggestin'. YOU'RE WELCOME, Dearth Kennedy.
Should have cast her as a 300 year old corpse.
And even as a table, she'll need the support of Conker to carry her.
Horsey
Two Katie Kennedy cinematic sins that deserve prison time:
1. Did not reunite Luke, Han and Leia in Force Awakens:
2. Did not reunite Shorty and Indy in Destiny.
I understand Indy mentions the reason for not watching the ark’s opening in Raiders, but the scene was cut.
I do love Temple of Doom despite the child slave ring reveal being stolen from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
If forced to make another Indy movie (TLC was a perfect ending) I'd have centred it not on Indy searching for an artefact but on Indy searching for Shortround who, whilst searching for, say, Atlantis, got himself in trouble. Indy, who long ago gave up the field work of artefact hunting, (cos, ya know, he's fecking old) has no choice but to delve into the secrets of Atlantis in order to rescue his old friend.
You could have some Indy-style gag about Shortround dressing like Indy - actually show some reverence for a 'legacy' character, for a change.
End the movie with the possibility that Shortround could take the franchise forward
Phoebe looks so much like an ostrich, she makes Sweet Dee look like a real woman!
Horsey faced
I was watching this last night when i was headed to work and didn't have time to finish it. I'm glad you got it back up!
Sadly, I went to see it on the 4th. It was SO Long and drawn out I almost left 1 hr n 40 minutes into the movie... They ruined my childhood idol Indiana Jones. I was going to be a archaeologist because of him until I realized it involves digging in the dessert without AC 😂
Just wanted to say I just found your channel and have been binging. You a funny dude. Subbed
Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying the videos.
The Last Jedi
1-Rose zaps Fyn and drags him around like a sack of potatoes.
2-Leia slaps Poe , and later zaps him with a stun gun.
3-Rey assaults Luke and nearly kills him with a lightsaber.
Indiana Jones, and the Dial of Destiny
1-Helena nearly gets Jones killed ( more than once) and punches him out in the end.
And these women are all considered "heroes" of their respective films.
Disney is promoting violence against men( by women)
The One Ring is not a McGuffin, neither is the Arc. A McGuffin has no influence on the plot beyond being an object of desire. The Maltese Falcon is a McGuffin. It doesn’t matter that it’s a statue of a bird from Malta. It could be a rare stamp or a painting or antique book. It’s only impact on the story is that it has value and people want it.
I get the Maltese Falcon refernece, like Doc Hudson (Paul Newman R. I. P) would say: it's only an empty cup. The suitcase of Pulp Fiction might be another example, as Tarantino said, it contains "whatever you want".
@@jesustovar2549 Like you say, it doesn’t matter what’s inside the suitcase beyond the fact that people want it.
I guess Lucas film pulled a real “give me the meat, and give it to me raw.” Here
I saw this previously but am watching, liking and commenting again because you rule
Thanks, I appreciate the support!
Dear Despot of Antrim , your videos are always the highlight of my week.
Bravo man. The thing about thinking AI stuff is marvelous when a 10 year old can click enter on a website and make the same stuff in 5 secondes... Its worthless and thanks for making a demonstration.