5 (Non Hollywood) Things About Dating Someone with an Illness
Vložit
- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- 5 things that Hollywood DOESN'T cover about dating someone with an illness.
Check out More Than Just Me, the coolest foundation around that raises money and awareness for Cystic Fibrosis, the homeless & orphanages worldwide! I also happen to have to privilege of working for them! :)
www.mtjm.org
/ mtjme
Twitter- / cystik1
Facebook - / morgang1990
Insta - / cystikone
Blog CystikOne.wordp...
For media inquiries: Morgan@Mtjm.org
![My Daily Cystic Fibrosis Routine! [11.16.18]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wlzx238fgc4/mqdefault.jpg)
![My Daily Cystic Fibrosis Routine! [11.16.18]](/img/tr.png)
Hey. I'm a CF widow. And I agree with pretty much everything. I'm not saying there weren't beautiful moments.... But those moments were few, and extremely special because they were set against all of the rest. Darryl went into cardiac arrest in an elevator while on a vent. There were no verbal goodbyes. Actually, he would've wanted it that way. I don't regret anything, but my life was hard.
And he was the most beautiful, complicated soul I have ever or will ever know.
Carrie Cabeen I know this is from 4 years ago but I’m so so sorry for your loss
I once had a boyfriend that broke up with me when I got out of the hospital. He couldn't deal with it. For a long time I didn't think I'd find anyone who would want to or be able to, but I've been fortunate enough to find someone who is willing to be there holding my hand right up to the end.
That's awesome! Glad you found someone :D
This happened to me as well. It sucks... but Atleast they finally did it if they felt they couldn’t
i've been through 2 big let downs. The last one she cheated on me in the end because of my illness. Man did I reach a low point after that. I found an amazing girl now. She is also sick. Her illness is less serious then mine but could end up being chronic. We are engadged but her family is against it because they would need to help us. I get disability but she hasnt gotten it yet. My parent help with rent the last 4 years but they keep threatening to take that help away. Scares the shit out me. The future is just scary. We don't leave the house for months not days especially when I get sick, end up in the hospital and come back home and am fragile as fuk. You really tell it like it is, thanks for that.
Super terrific R are you still together?
When I met my fiancee I was truly not prepared. I had no idea how hard it would be. I assumed I'd just be happy to help and could somehow selflessly put my feelings aside because I love him and because it's (duh) not about me. But sometimes I'm so angry and scared and guilty and overwelmed. Sometimes I feel completely alone, like no one understands how I feel, and everyone asks how we are doing and I don't know how to say that sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, because I feel guilty. I hate what he goes thru, how it hurts him. There is nothing harder than watching the one you love suffer and knowing you are powerless to fix it.
I hold it together and take care of what I can so he can focus on other things... I schedule the appointments and treatments and meds, and I help when he needs me. I try to be strong for him and then I go off on my own and I rage and cry and fall apart. But no matter how I feel I show up and do my best and it's ok that it's hard because I'm human and I must have been crazy to think that love would make it easy. That's the truth, but it's also complete truth that he fills my heart and my life in a way no one else has and I'm SO lucky to have him. He's my best friend and I wouldn't give him up for anything, even on the worst days.
I don't have CF but I've enjoyed the more in-depth details of your videos. The one thing that stuck out most to me was treating them like they're normal, that hits me a little bit just not the same as you. Having a history of depression and anxiety, I've lost friends because they didn't know how to act or treat me after knowing of it. I see it as just knowing more depth to a person's soul or who they are, it doesn't change who they are to you as a friend.
God bless. Chronic illness is to fetishized. People don’t realize that CF and chronic illness in general is personal and singular, despite the symptoms that do connect us.
Wow man, so many people need to watch this.
I’m from Australia and was born with Spina Bifida (spinal birth defect). I agree with everything in this vid.
I have a very good friend that has cystic fibrosis and I met him through my ex boyfriend that has a very bad case of haemophilia, which also takes form in a lot of treatment, complications and procedures - that's how I came over your channel and I greatly appreciate your work. Thank you.
On being with someone with a chronic illness: I am from a medical family (lots of doctors and graphic medical talk throughout my childhood) and I did an extensive research before I got into this. I accepted him for everything that came with it. Here and now. And as a girlfriend of someone, who didn't even wanna tell me what was going on, because he thought I would bail out, I started to discover this massive territory of fear that comes with being raised with a chronic illness. I am a person who can probably take more struggle then is good for me, but in the end it all comes down to letting people help you, when they are around and are more then willing to do so. I have washed people, cleaned vomit, restrained people with epilepsy and like a lot of other things and I refuse to believe I do it just to make myself feel better. To some extent, there are no complitely selfless acts, but I want to help people when I can and have the power to do so. I can't promise you my life, but I can promise I won't be leaving because of the illness.
I know I will never know how it feels like, but I noticed a lot of people with terminal diseases have trouble empathising with their "healthy" loved ones. Not in a sense of first world problems, but in a sense that they too, have to have their problems, even if they will always seem insignificant in comparison with problems of people with terminal diseases. Down the line I learned that it also has a lot to do with personality and attitude and I met a lot of wonderful, completely breath taking people through him that don't share the attitude he had. I was falling very deep into depression and all he ever said when I decided to get help was: "That's not a real problem, You don't need help." But I did need help, even very much so. I know it's unfortunate and I didn't want to bring it on him, but you don't choose mental conditions either. My point being - life with terminal disease sucks a lot more then people realise, but that's not the only problem you should be addressing talking about romantic relationships and friendships surrounding it. I feel like there are more layers to it. And believe me I know how not pretty it is from a very young age.
In the end I can understand why my ex boyfriend hurt me the way he did, but I'm not sure if he will ever want to understand how in the grand scheme of things this hurt felt for me, because he could never acknowledge other "healthy" people's pain. And in looking back - that's why everything fell apart.
Anyway, you're awesome, I greatly appreciate your content and I am sending you all the best from a Slovenian on exchange studies in Oklahoma :)
The medical bills... it’s too real man. 😂😂 I relate to it too much.
I know that I'm commenting four years after you posted this video but I just wanted to thank you for making this. I'm 22 years post heart/double lung transplant (due to Eisenmenger's Syndrome and Pulmonary Hypertension) and I can soooooo relate to each point you made! You put into words what I've been feeling and why I'm still single at almost 39 (less than two months away). Thank you for this post! ❤️
Kimberly Jacques happy late birthday. :)
my best friend left me when I got sicker. she got tired of me bc I couldn't go out and party all the time with her. it really broke my heart.
Queen Bea im so sorry
Oh man. I don't know where to begin. I've commented on one of your other videos but I feel compelled to comment again.
Being with someone with CF who passed away the the hardest thing I've ever done and to this day, it is still hard even though he's not here anymore in the physical world.
One thing that makes it so hard is that it's isolating. There's seemed to be no know who can understand because the level of thought and level of love is just so abnormal and beautiful.
I feel like even though you are the sick one your ability to understand the "outsider" is frighteningly spot on.
Thank you for showing yourself coughing. Though it made me cry with a flood of memories (yes, coughing wake up calls at 2am and then again at 3 and 4), it is something that people have to hear and see to believe. (No, it's not like asthma
Great video! My husband has CF and this all is so true. I am his 3rd wife. God made & prepared me for this but we too watched Red Band Society and thought all of these same things you said. Thankful we have lots of great moments but the chappy stuff is a reality too.
love the way you said that if i dont get hit by a bus cf will kill me, iv never thought of that
, that so deeply its made me think from having cf how it affects all of my life
Im with the love of my life, finally at 46yo. Crazy enough, he was diagnosed with MS about 15 years ago. About 4 years into our relationship, i was diagnosed with MS. We both have 3 autoimmune diseases. He currently lives in Stockholm(his home town), and I'm in the US. We're working on getting me over there, but we have to get my health totally figured out before I can, and he can only work part time, I can't work at all, so money is a huge issue also. It certainly is no picnic! We both have good/bad days, sometimes he's the supportive one, sometimes I am, and on those days where we're both struggling.....it suuucks. In one way I think we're fortunate because we understand what a chronic, invisible illness is, and can truly support the other. But either way, it's difficult, communication and patience are paramount!
Thanks for this, Morgan. I was married for 12 years to someone whose mum was afflicted with polio as a kid. So he understood chronic illness and disease. I was sick when we met in 2002. He knew it was chronic from the beginning. I have asthma as a result of living in an apartment with mold. I’ve had life-threatening pneumonia twice. I have fibromyalgia, two really weird/rare forms of lupus, chronic sinus infections, balance issues, etc. It’s not an easy existence. I basically live at the chest clinic, I have multiple medications and inhalers, And because of the extreme cold here in Montreal, I am more or less housebound from about October until April.
In 2014, he decided he was sick of being “responsible for “ me, and cheated behind my back for six months before telling me about it. He hated that my libido basically disappeared for a couple of years. ( when it hurts to have a sheet or a sweater touching your skin, sex is totally not an option.)
So instead of just telling me about it, he decided to cheat and then run instead. He made sure to tell me that it wasn’t my fault, all the while acting like it was in fact my fault. I’ve been alone for the last four and a half years, and quite frankly I have no time for anybody who “can’t handle” this. I’d rather be alone than be with somebody who either resents me or feel sorry for me. I’m 48. I don’t have time to feed someone’s ego or saviour complex.
Hey man, I have Cystic Fibrosis too, and more than anything I want to say thank you, thank you for being strong enough to say these things that so many of us have a hard time saying. As you know it gets so fucking hard day by day with CF, and honestly it's nice to listen to someone else who actually truly understands what it's like to go through this everyday. I just want to say thank you for posting this stuff, because it makes people like us remember that we're not in this alone, and honestly it just helps us feel normal sometimes. XD
Thank you Morgan. About time someone speaks out.
$26,000! Another reason why I am so thankful to be Canadian! Free health care!
I mean my one medication is $137,457 for 2 months worth. Again being Canadian I don’t pay a cent!
The fault in our stars book had Fact #2 accurately right , but it wasn’t thoroughly shown in the movie . I agree with all your 5 facts. Heartbreaking , gory, bloody,torturous and terrible moments will always occur among people with illness, that’s why I feel that they are strong human beings. I empathize but I’ll never know how they truly feel. Will always send some love and ♥️♥️♥️♥️.
It is definitely a struggle. I have a chronic illness and the financial struggle along with physical and mental struggle really drive a wedge between two people. I do have to say I’m blessed that my guy has stuck around but there is nothing beautiful about being sick.
I agree with you completely. Hollywood romanticizes chronic illness, and disabilities, and it infuriates me to know people think being with someone is sick and romantic and wonderful. You shouldnt want to be with someone because they are sick, you should want to be with someone whether they're sick or healthy, because you feel real love for them.
I don't even know if it gets any better than this. You were dead on.
I watched the red band society and I laughed at that CF kid running and skipping treatments and needing a lung transplant, that's not how it works, at all.
Oh and dont forget how the kid in red band society was smoking with other hospital patients.... Yeah very realistic 👌🏼 because i don't know about him but i cant go up the stairs without losing my breath, and when i take one tiny breath of someone smoking, i break out into a cough attack.. So yeah red band society.. Very realistic
@@melis_rosesI am the same way cannot do smoke I start hacking up my lungs until almost throwing up or I do. It is horrible and I only have 16% lung function with 24/7 oxygen.
seriously cracked up during this whole video cause I have to explain the same things to people allllll the damn time.
My boyfriend has the worst of the worst. It's nice to see someone open about dating and illness. It is more secretive than seeking attention. I feel like I may have found a way to be more open about it.
i’m always so self conscious about my J tube. i haven’t had the greatest luck in the dating world even prior to the tube, yet alone with it. and guys are typically scared shitless of my port, if they know anything about it because they think about infections.
Jaclyn Jenkins Hollywood sure as f*ck isn’t showing the 3:00am, my husband has to get up at 6:30am, but my brain tumor has caused me to have a seizure so bad I’ve just pissed and sh!t the bed and now he’s cleaning all that up and cleaning me up and making the bed again. How do make that up to someone who’s taking care of you and paying your bills??? Real love is a week later when you’re now making jokes about, well, I guess I really sh!t the bed on that one...😂 It’s not fun and games, but damn you gotta a place to laugh before you lose your sh!t!
I enjoyed your video. I have no cornic illness, however my ex boyfriend has Ulcerative colitis. My ex and I are no longer together; he had ended our relationship because he said he wanted to focus on his health, however which I do understand, but I am hurt that we been together over a year and he did not share his illness towards the end of our relationship. I have always thought he was such a humble person, but moody : mean and prideful most times; I never understood what he was truly going through. My point to say all this is that, my heart was genuine towards him. I cared about him so much and although I was not in his shoes, I wanted to support him. Thank you so much how you are sharing your story, giving awarness because I have no idea what you are going through, my ex and others who have cornic elements. Much 💝 to you!
My sister passed away in May from heart failure that she had been diagnosed with for 10 years. I am really glad you posted this video, supporting her through so many horrible hospital nights was tough at 10 years old but it was what she needed. I can’t imagine what she went through, or what you go through but people with chronic illnesses deserve support and unconditional love, not people being in love with the idea of being with someone who is sick.
They showed all that stuff in The Fault In The Stars. I thought it was a pretty powerful film.
BryceD546 *book
Once again well spoken Morgan! Your dead on with those facts lol.
I have a chronic illness (Fibromyalgia) (no cure, pain from head to toe, inside out) and ive had my two ex partners basically turn into carers which wrecked our relationships. Not exactly sexy helping me move about and cleaning up my sick.. Been on my own now for years, by choice. Finally able to stand on my own two feet and be my own support. Being sick sucks but i have accepted it now... i had to grieve the person i once was, got angry, cried, got over it.. it took years.. now im just dealing with it. Its not gonna get better so there are no other choice.. but i agree about losing people.. i have isolated myself now for nearly a decade. Might start making CZcams videos about my isolation.. i dont speak to anyone. just shut everyone out.. im emerging from my shell a bit now... its just daunting.. doing any activities uses up my spoons so to speak.. if you know what spoons are you get it lol .. so its hard to get a normal life... gonna start with trying an open mic. we will see Sorry this is probably a rant.. ive not slept and i get a bit rambly when i dont sleep
My mommom died of cancer (my dads mom) its not glamorous its not pretty my pop would be so upset and frustrated just to get her to eat my dad had to watch his mom die at a young age it will take a toll on you because it is upsetting you love them. To anyone out there who thinks this is glamorous or pretty its not your watching someone die and suffer infront of your face and you can only support and care and help. Its very sad. On a more positive note my pop is now 83 and absolutely still loves her and says how beautiful she is and always will be to him she was a lovely woman anyone out there who has or is dealing with a loved one my prayers and love goes out to you. You are strong and so are they.
My favorie...being in the hospital and getting a "get well soon" card!..hah yea.. get well soon..let me get right on that for ya! LOL
I have lupus, but the get well soon pisses me off
I'm crying right now.
I am so glad you did this. I have MS and it is progressing fast. I am getting hit on a lot . Most guys say that they want to come take care of me. But I do not need another nurse. It would be nice to find my true love. But they do not understand what is in my future and I am not always as pretty as my pictures. I have bad days . This helps people understand some of what we go threw. Thank-you for making this
I don't have an issue with what most people consider the messy or gross parts of illnesses, it comes with the territory when you work in healthcare; the emotional parts is what terrifies me. As trainees, we learn about the illness trajectory of the person with CF, we learn about the treatments and hospital visits, but never what it's like for their family or SO after they've passed. I'm in Canada, the average survival age is about 10 years older here than in the US (due in part to universal healthcare and the way our transplant lists work), but it's still significantly less than that of the overall population. I can be with you through the sick days, nights, and months, but what happens when you're gone? What am I supposed to do?
Thank you for your honesty, empathy towards the outsider, and bashing shit movies.
I found your channel because of Five Feet Apart, and have been watching a ton of your videos. I stumbled upon this one, and I find it crazy that most of what you mentioned was actually shown in FFA. It really shows how much Justin cared about this movie to get everything so right.
I loved this one. My partner really struggles to help me with my chronic illnesses and it puts such a strain on our relationship. Being alone in chronic illness is so scary
I definitely agree. Once they start comprehending the nature of your chronic illness; they simply can’t do it. And to be honest you can’t blame them...they are forced to watch you deteriorate. My ex would cry constantly. He was always hoping I’d wake up better. I realize reality is hard for people to accept. And although I knew it was never going to work, I did find myself looking forward to his company through hard days. Distractions are nice but this whole illness love fantasy thing is terribly unrealistic.
Amen, Bro-I don’t have CF, but have been chronically unwell since around age 10-I’m 35 now. Everything you said makes sense to me. I’m single-& have been that way for longer than I care to recall-it’s lonely-u mentioned that not many women want to be “carers” because the guy is “supposed” to be strong and a provider-not many guys (in my experience) want to care for a woman because women are supposed to cook, clean, keep house-organise (family members/house). I would love nothing more than to meet a guy who loves and accepts me-including things not being rainbows and unicorn farts all the time. Another Hollywood thing is that you get a wish when you’re chronically unwell/terminal as a kid-and you get to do “cool” stuff-it’s not (always) true-not all kids get “wishes”. Hang in there bro!!
I watched and shared this today on both Facebook and instagram today. I'm 27 with Cystic Fibrosis and I think you did an amazing job explaining that. Even though I kinda enjoy red band society for its "I wish" factor it bothered me that the guy with CF who is waiting for new lungs, never even coughed. I cough bucket loads of mucus up all day everyday. I wish Hollywood would be more realistic but as you said, people don't want to see that. I think you're awesome.
Thank you so much for posting this video. I'm 20 with CF and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. At the beginning he used to come to all my appointments with me and see me in hospital every day. But now he's kind of "gotten used" to me being in hospital and doesn't come to appointments very often, I usually go alone. But he does still see me in hospital as often as he can. Like you said there's good days and bad days. I just wish he realised how hard this is for me because I feel like I'm doing everything on my own :(
You are so amazing! I have never encountered someone who laid everything out so truthfully and had such strength to face their reality. I just wanted to point out that there is another aspect for people with chronic, progressive / terminal illnesses and that is that sometimes you have to make the decision to exit people or relationships out of your life even if they want to be a part of it. If someone is causing you a lot of stress or drama, this can have a terrible impact on your illness and cause things to worsen. Your health is your number one priority and sometimes it can be tough but you have to cut people out of your life. Wishing you all the best! This was a fantastic video and I hope it helps people think through their motivations before they become part of your journey.
Very real and well said. Being with someone is being with their baggage. If that happens to be a cruel and progressive chronic illness it has to be considered as part of the relationship. Being the partner or spouse of a chronically ill person means that illness becomes a priority for both. Unfortunately as we age with a partner it's not unusual that a chronic, and/or terminal illness, is going to affect one or even both of us. We know our years are limited. It's harder to accept health and time limitations when you are younger. A healthy person (20-40) expects many years of freedom, from thinking illness could make such a huge impact on their life. That being said, if two people really share a love and both are strong enough to take each other and every day as it is, knowing there will be hard times, I don't see any reason why they couldn't have a happy and successful life together. This was a valuable video. Thanks for sharing it.
Hi from further north in NC! I respect that you acknowledge that you need support in a relationship. I think most men don't want to acknowledge that they need support. Both parties have to be vulnerable which is dangerous emotionally!
I love this so much. I think it’s so sad for someone to seek attention for dating someone sick. Those people are sick they need to be genuinely loved not used.
I have cf too and completely agree!
My ex girlfriend and I broke up because she couldn’t watch me be in the constant, severe pain I’m in anymore. It was hurting her too much. But I’m the one who ended up the most hurt in the end.
I don’t have CF but I a seizure disorder that has almost taken me 3 times in the last 4 years. And I can totally agree with everything! I have had so many friends come to the hospital in the past thinking it will be like the movies and I’m intubated or convulsing constantly. I can relate even though I don’t have CF and i thank you because this also is so true for friends of those who are sick and I feel like it’s not just happening to me anymore thank you
You are the first thought I get in the morning. You make me get outta bed and live my day the best I can. I really appreciate that broski
The love of my life has CF. I fell in love with him before I even knew what that meant for him. Now that I know, I'd love nothing more than to be the one to hold him up. I know how much he struggles and how sick he is of being sick. He's my best friend and is unhappy in his current relationship. Thank you for making this video. More people need to see this.
Nice speech Man! I've been following you and Stefie for some time now, you Both are awesome human beings.your in my prayers! Needs too be more folks like you two.👍 Love to meet you two in person. No I'm Not Crazy....
My ex couldnt handle my illness. We were together for 4 years and we were the real deal, like this is my person. When I got sick he just couldnt handle it. I didn't think It was possible to feel so much pain like that when we broke up. And that's the truth
Im 17, and she has something very wrong with her. Its so far proved to be undiagnosable. We have no idea if its terminal, chronic, or just temporary. Its lung, autonomic nervous system, and digestive system related. Whatever it is, it affects almost everything. There have been close calls. She has almost died. I know we're just kids but its the realest thing I've felt. All of what you've said is so so so true. It isn't easy. We dont get to be a regular high school couple. Its not something beautiful, its not cute to get bad news and have to go through your day wondering if she'll make it through hers. Its not fun to sit down and talk about her death. Its fucking not. But every moment seems worth it. Not because oblivion acts as a qualifier and makes every moment precious, but because I just love her.
I so agree with you on the chronic illness it isn't pretty it isn't easy and it is very important to be honest with the person you're getting into the relationship with if you can handle it or not I so agree with that even some parents cannot handle it and don't do it it takes a strong person to love and care for a person with chronic illness I agree with you 100% on that and it is okay to say hey I can't do this instead of hanging on out of sympathy or selfishness ✌❤🌹
I love the baby kittens oh they're so precious❤
I looked back at this video after I watched Five Feet Apart and I have to say that they showed all of these facts/scenarios. Of course they put music over the vests but they still showed the constant coughing and clearing of throats. Honestly I think that past Morgan would be even more stoked than Morgan already was/is
Thank you for making this video because it is all soo true with relationships and friendships!
Being involved with someone with a terminal illness is not difficult ,if you love them ! When you love them the illness is secondary ! Yes your by their bedside and you pick up the slack ! But its not a big thing ! Your there because love them and want them to at least feel better ! Its hard to explain , no matter how disgusting others may think the illness cabn be , you don't care because its the person your involved with , they just happen to be sick ! Like you said if someone is informed and prepared from the beginning then its a choice ! The love outweighs the illness ! The hard part is when they are gone ! If you care then whatever happens should not turn you away !
You are actually really funny..you and your dog was cracking me up!! :)
Thank you thank you thank you for this! This is everything I haven't been able to put into words.
You never loved us in the first place , yes that is true. Because love is passion and care comes unconditionally. I have 2 cf teenage daughters and I am struggling whit chronic illness my self. Very few people get what we are going threw
This is amazing. Thank you very much for doing this video ♡
Been dumped because I was too much cause of being chronically ill and dealing with major depression. not going to date for a while, but I am scared to date again, wish there were dating apps for us chronically ill people
I have several chronic illnesses. I hecking wish my life was like fault in our stars. But life isn't that beautifull. I am lonely as hell because everyone eventually leaves. Being sick gets old verry fast. Being sick for me doesn't mean having my lover dap the sweat of my head while we cuddle in bed. No it means cleaning up my puke and drainage bag. Changing my feeds, cleaning my feeding tube, rubbing my back while i cry in pain, etc. When I'm in hospital I'm not peacefull and in a coma. I'm suffering, moaning and in pain. You don't go in hospital when your peaceful, you go because you're suffering. Ready to accept all of that? Hit me up! I need a friend who can actually handle all of that.
Here. Here.
*Hollywood left the chat*
My fiancé left while I was in the psych ward. Sent his mom to pry the ring off my finger
I have CP and it has comorbidities and have to deal with premature aging and now in a relationship with a man with epilepsy. We aren't together because we have disabilities and chronic illness. We want to be together my mom is afraid that he is using me just to be a caregiver and it's not like that we will take care of each other and love each other
Only halfway through and OH MY GOD YES. I have CF and I've had many guys get to know me, but turn away when I even MENTION my disease.
Thank you for making this video!
Thank you for watching! :)
ok so i watched one of your videos last night & it made me cry.......it has happened again with this one!! what ive learned is i either need to a) stop watchin your videos or b) stop drinking so much wine after my dinner!!!!!!
was in a relationship 4 years ago & he slowly chipped away at my confidence about my cf, am always really closed off about my cf now with men i meet, like you said its hard to open up & show people warts & all!
really enjoying the vids though (besides the tears ha ha!!)
orla, ireland ☺
Hi from Italy! Just imagine, back in the Old Days tubercolosis was considered fashionable because your facial features became finer due to weight loss with white translucent skin ...better than the Black Death I suppose!
Good video I recently had a relationship that ended bc of my cf and it was painful bc I was in the hospital when he ended the relationship. So I'm glade you made this video bc it puts a lot of perspective to it
Dam by the time you got to number one I got it...I feel your REPEATING YOURSELF.
Such a good video. Thank you so much
Thank you, this is amazing ❤️💖💕💜💙💜💕💖❤️💜💙💖
I don't want kids because of my disease, not only because there is a chance that my kids will get this but my body is not strong enough.
Then there was this guy who said i could change my mind about it in the future because he desparately wanted to have children...
We obviously aren't together anymore :P
I have oi (brittle bones) frankly most of the time I wounded why anyone would want to date me, so I keep people at a distance so they don’t know.
I love how he puts things because I have found that gender roles have messed up and left so many guys who just need someone to be there have been left in the dust, and not even critical ones
I don't have CF but I understand my brother does and it's not any fun. I have chronic Neouro Lyme disease and it's definitely not pretty. It's even harder when you feel like you have no support
almost every relationship, not necessarily romantic, don't seem to understand the word chronic.
7:12 I’m hooked up to that or my nebulizer when I’m not at school. This video is so true.
I've never had someone date me or leave me because I'm sick so far, but it's been really getting to me that two people who I consider my best friends can't deal with some part of my CF, either because of fear of germs, or sensitive gag reflex when just the idea of mucus comes up. It makes me question if I'll find someone I can be that close to, romantically or not, who can handle every part of my CF. It's a thought that's really been getting to me recently, to be honest
I know I don't know you but I think their will always be people out there that will love u for who you are no matter what even if u have an illness just be your self and things will work out! And you'll make friends and so on.
My crush has cystic fibrosis and I really miss him when he's not in school because he's in the hospital. He's funny and smart and cute and I just wanna be with him, but I'm also scared...
I think this is a great eye opener for a lot of people! Im will be a rock for anyone who needs one regardless of the label
Such an amazing dog!
Thank you so much for this video, do you mind if I use it for citing in my English essay? I'm doing a paper on how Hollywood and other media outlets don't represent cystic fibrosis like they should. I have cf too and i feel so strongly about this topic i really want to share this.
Go for it!
@@MorganSolo Thank you so much!
I agree completely dude
I just want to point out that hollywood doesn't do a good job at portraying much of anything. Primarily because it's for entertainment, and in general people like to turn a blind eye to realistic situations. Most movies regarding relationships are very poor portrayals of what relationships are - for many reasons, one of them being that we are all very unique individuals. I am glad that you pointed this out though! I don't have CF but I do have narcolepsy, which, though I won't die from it, is a chronic condition that has no cure. And holy flipping pancakes, the media and hollywood have not done any good for raising awareness about the reality of having narcolepsy. Because it's nothing like what they portray. *sigh*
Also - I work with patients who have alzheimer's disease and/or dementias. It is similar in that it takes a lot to care for someone in that position - they are vulnerable and scared and confused. It takes a lot of empathy and patience and love to be able to bathe someone, or feed someone, or redirect them when they begin to act out at you (the caregiver). It takes a lot of empathy to not take their actions (which can often be inappropriate) to heart, and to recognize that while you may be changing diapers, they are an adult who deserves respect and dignity. But I do this type of work because it is something that I enjoy (not for any fame or popularity as you mentioned in the first part of this video) but because there aren't many people who are willing to do this type of work (and I'm not perfect! there have been many times where I questioned why, why am I doing this?!). But it all comes down to that regardless of their position, their illness, or their actions, they are a person who has loved and lost and built a life. They deserve all of the kindness, patience and care that I can give them. It's odd that my position is to work with these patients, but I also end up supporting the family as well. As a respite care provider, I am not there 24/7 like their son, daughter, husband, wife, etc. It is evident that their commitment to caring for their loved one takes a toll on them and I try to offer as much support and empathy and resources, when I can. Because not only are they caring for a loved one, but they are preparing to lose a loved one as well.
I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone though, where I played the caregiver. I do this professionally - and thus I can detach somewhat. While I am confident that if I ever was in that position, that I could deliver all of those things, it would be much more difficult being that I am not only caring for someone with a terminal illness, but that I am also preparing to lose them. That takes a lot of love and a lot of sacrifice. But I do like to say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Oops. Didn't mean to write a novel.... oh well :/
I have CF too. I was on a trach. On a ventilator. Lung function 27%. Just being able to speak and stand up straight, to do that at the same time man I WISH I could do that 5 years after my injury. You create your life by how you think. Preaching the same sob story might get you some admirers but that won't end in glory. What ends in glory is being able to beat CF and make it respect you. Gives you the self respect and respect from others. To take control of it instead of letting it own you. And you are in much better shape to do that than I am currently. Just saying I survived what I did and going as far as I can with it with the mindset that I can fight for whatever I damn well please. @joeobryant. I follow u on twitter
I would hardly say this is preaching a sob story. Just stating facts and the reality of things I have been through. I just recently conquered a 14,000ft mountain, so I don't believe I let it own me at all. And who wants glory? I don't want glory. I just want to help people and change the world for the better. I use my experiences though to let others know they're not alone and to shine a deeper light on this disease than others do. That mentality you have is fantastic and I applaud you for it, but a lot of people don't have that. Does that make them weak or less of a fighter? Not at all. And there's lots of people who message me that don't have CF that thank me for letting them into a world that most don't understand. For helping them understand the struggles their kids or their friends or even their spouses go through. The untold things. So, while you may see it as a sob story, I see it as enlightening others. BUT, thank you for watching and I appreciate your feedback, brother!
Yeah my me and my dad took care of my mom everyday for 4 years at home before she passed away in april. It was not pretty thats for sure. The tv definitely didnt show me how hard it was going to be to watch my mom die.
You're right on the money, Mr!
I don't have CF but I do have lupus, rheumatoid arthritis. asthma and have been newly diagnosed with Celiac disease and a few other things sprinkled in. Dating and having an illness is hard enough but having a few sucks. most ppl can't handle it. They say they can in the beginning but when it gets hard its just too much. And there's the question of when to tell ppl you meet. do you tell them before they get to know you or wait and hope they like you for yourself then hopefully don't mind if you have medical issues?
My girlfriend, Winter, she has pots. I'm scared of her believing/thinking that I am with her because she is sick. I am with her because she is amazing, sweet, and has the best personality, but she also overthinks. Does anyone have an advice to make sure she knows that I'm with her because i love her? How do I ask her explain it to me? How do I understand whats shes going though? I don't want to not know, because I truly believe I will be with this girl for a long time. Someone please help. This girl is my everything.
Do some research about her illness. Remember to be honest and straight forward when talking to her. Don't be afraid to ask questions even if they seam to be a bit invasive. Knowledge is the first step in understanding, communication is the first step in a strong lasting relationship. Hope this helps you.
eandg330 thank you. I have done a lot of research into her illness and asked her many questions. I know how to help her and understand when she needs help. Plus I know what foods she can and can’t eat aka I tend to her chocolate and mashed potatoes a lot. At this point I’m just trying to prove to her that I’m willing to do anything to make her comfortable
Stay strong and just be there for her. Sometimes action is all you have because words aren't enough and ppl develop trust issues because others in the past have said all the right words but didn't act on them and keep those words. Trust in her and just be there. Things have a way of working out when you just DO and not say.
So true
I get it. Thank you
What if there are people who want to be with a mentally ill person it could work out
I need to put this on my pof profile. Lol