Men Healing After Divorce: Full Episode
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- čas přidán 3. 05. 2023
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During and after my divorce, I realized that my ex wife and I never learned how to BE married, we only learned how to GET married.
You don't want to bleed on someone that never cut you.
Get healed first.
Listening to these brothas stories about their marriages & healing after a divorce was very therapeutic to me.. cause I’m currently separated from my wife & in the process of divorce
Yes ,but after separation feeling lonely 😢
Same here im going thru a divorce right now. I asked for it and its tearing me UP right now!
ive been seperated for 2 years now. hoping everything goes well in the end for everyone. stay strong brothers!
It’s rough so rough that a lot of men just aren’t getting married anymore, typically the woman gains a lot of weight after marriage anyways. Furthermore men lose their independence and agency when it comes to their finances they become legally entangled with a human being that is literally a walking talking toddler of emotional tantrums. We can all sit around the fire and bullshit ourselves if that’s not the case, but unfortunately we live in a thing called reality and it is the case.
Same bro.
I went through a lot of financial crisis after my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college,just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video! Thanks for sharing!😊
Nice one,any investment tip? I would love to know how you made it this far
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Alright, you can easily find her information by doing a quick 🔎 search. Feel free to reach out to her directly with any questions you may have.
It's surprising to come across Regina Louise Collaro's name here. I've always been uncertain about hiring an investment advisor. Just to clarify, I began collaborating with Regina in 2019. She oversees around 70% of my investments, leaving me with the remaining 30%. My stance has always been that I prioritize my own finances, but she has convinced me of her extensive knowledge regarding present circumstances and upcoming trend
That’s my cousin Joey in this video. He’s a great guy! I’m so hurt by his divorce and separation, but he’s definitely a great guy. I know there are more Joeys in the world, great podcast!
I'm a Joey! Going through it right now with two kids. 8 year old and 5 year old. It's really tough not seeing my kids but holding strong.
Even through this video I sense that you are a good brother. Be encouraged. At least now we know what not to do. Stay up!!!! We are men!!!!
Going through divorce now. I NEEDED THIS. Thank you.
Hello
Good session. Too many men, including myself, don’t talk about dealing with divorce!
Yeah,good session
I’m separated from my husband right now. I made many mistakes through our short term marriage. We been married for going on 2 years. I haven’t watched this video but I got on the comments and I think it’s crazy how people are saying that divorce is crazy. I til this moment, I wish I would of done things differently, I’m working on myself for me and my son but there’s nothing in this world that I want most than to be back at home with my husband. He’s such a great human being. I don’t know why I didn’t take care of him how I was supposed to. Hurts my heart. But I hope one day he can forgive me and we can get back together. I don’t want to divorce because I know he’s the love of my life. So if you’re going through a divorce… don’t do it. Pray, work on yourself and hopefully yall can make it work. That’s my wish right now 🙏🏽
Good luck to you and go to marriage therapy (not the preacher). I think it has something to do with your past or childhood. I pray y'all reunite together again. Be honest when talking. There's light but don't wait too late. At least you know your the problem. Give me an update btw I'm not married, no kids, no relationship...I wish I was though
After two times , I'm scared to trust a woman in marriage! There so unloyal! Second wife I was willing to keep trying but she filed divorce! Unloyal as hell! Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
Love this uncommon perspective. We don't hear from men enough on this subject and it's so important. To the gentleman who was married 3 times, I could so sympathize. I married 3 times as well and felt so confused and disappointed in myself at first and then got some great counseling for just ME and it was life changing. It's no one persons fault ...it's our rearing end experience combined with the same for our partners. I've tried to find good from it all by teaching my children and others to understand yourself first or your relationship can't succeed. Our parents didn't understand this, weren't taught this and we now hope it gets a little better with every generation
My son killed him self over a divorce.. 28 and 2 kids!
Please talk to someone
I'm so sorry to hear that. 😩
I found divorce so very hard. I am not alone. Frustratingly there are people who move on quickly. Too easy for men to give in marriage and get used up (loose identity), whilst having no solid support system. Totally agree, take care of yourself first and then help others.
"You can't change anyone". ✅
Adult discussion, no bells and whistles, very mature and informative, I really like this, God bless all of you
Fellas, first of all, thank you for making me laugh out loud for the first time since we decided to split. Age 51 divorce number 2 after 16 years and so many things I heard resonate. Thank you for speaking out. Your experiences are helping others.
The longer it takes a man to understand she's gone and she ain't coming back the worse it is for the man. She's gone and she don't care so you can either accept reality or wallow in self pity. Either way she's not coming back. Deal with it and move on. It's your choice. However keep in mind guys the tables may be in her favor right now but eventually they will turn in your favor, they always do especially when you find another woman.
We went to 3-4 counselors in my second marriage. I was angry because she was very disrespectful. I moved in the house with her. Provided for her and her daughter and my son and we had a daughter together. She never appreciated me. But had the nerve to file a divorce. Throughout our problems , I still loved this woman! I need to start to get over her. We've been divorced 5 months I still think about her daily.
Why? Whats so special about her?
@@EyebrowQueen You obviously don't understand.
@@stanmoney8470 i do understand...if she was that bad why would you think about her?She doesnt seem like she is worth that. You are aware that you have to choose a woman right? You would not be your woman if you didnt pick her. Therefore, just get to know yourself and choose better next time. Simple
Please, bro, go to the bar, but don’t drink don’t smoke just go dress nice and chitchat and you will find there so many more fish in the sea but trust me don’t drink then you don’t have to deal with the hangover or any embarrassing situations and you can be in that mother every nightjust chitchatting with young beautiful ladies
Don’t know if a bar is the best place. Very low percentile of finding marriage material.
This episode was something I needed to hear, I went through a divorce and I have not had anyone to really talk to about the struggle I had to battle with alone, but listening really helped. I appreciate it. God bless
I'm going through one now
In the same boat ,I got married early and my friends can't advise me or anything
Shit wack but it's life and life goes on.
Good luck and God bless!
This really was a great exchange between men...love to see you three continue doing shows and speaking the real! Real men. Real emotions. Real life. Real feedback. This is good!
What a beautiful message. I have never been married (by choice), but went through a devastating custody battle. Finally won after 7 long years and financial devastation. But it was worth it. I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if we were married. So many of my friends have been devistated by divorces they did not want. Thanks for sharing fellas.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
#1) pre-marital counseling with pastors seem to be useless.
#2) church definitely did a lot of us a disservice with the lack of dating/marriage preparedness
Joey has not aged at all (and good for him for staying true to himself and God). Great conversation DocReid! Love the transparency and honesty. Now you have to do one with women! This was good.
Thank you guys for that sharing, very brave of you. God bless you all! 🙏
I would absolutely love to come on and tell my story of personal development and how it will destroy relationships thinking you will fix it but once you find the true you a lot of relationships you think it’ll fix it actually shatters because you became the real true authentic you
I really want to be a good husband and actually be loved by someone
Thank you guys for opening up and sharing your stories. This was so helpful to understand a glimpse into what men go through as well. Keep em coming, I’ll tune in! ❤🎉
Please have a part two, a part three, more men need to keep talking, there is accountability to be had on both sides. Tech podcast now.
Thank you I needed to watch and hear this conversation. Currently going through a divorce and I can relate to all of perspectives.
Awww I remember Joey from back in the day as a TC in Upward Bound. Praying for him as heals. Such a great upstanding guy. Appreciate his vulnerability and honesty.
It takes courage. Glad he has support of friends.🙏🏿
I need a "Joey" in my Life! No disrespect of course, but this is the type of Man that "I" always needed in my life. We would have still been married. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way for me. Having been divorced and separated since 2003 after my son, I realized that I did everything possible to save my marriage. I just kept faith and prayer in my life and got through it. I had a thriving career at the time and have excelled. There is still something missing. I haven't remarried since. There are "Slim Pickings" out here. Hahaha, and I can laugh about it. Thank you, guys, for creating this video! It gives us women your perspective on divorce and what you are going through. I have subscribed to your channel Doc and will continue to listen in.
After hearing these brothers I realize I wasn’t ready for marriage and the woman I married wasn’t right for me either we are too different we are aligned in the spirit but we are not good for each other in the flesh so now we are heading to divorce and we have to learn to be excellent parents.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
Thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you gentlemen for being vulnerable and sharing your personal experience with us! I gotten so much out of the video and I haven't finished watching it in its entirety yet (lol) I had to stop and comment. So don't be surprised if you see several more comments from me as I finish watching this video 😁.
First and foremost, thank you for allowing us to see the vulnerable side of a man. We (women) need to see your vulnerable side. It is a reminder to us that you are human and are equally worthy and deserving of being treated with love, respect and kindness.
Second, the gentleman who stated "if he had known then what he knows now," in regards to the red-flag question, he summed up my experience to a T. I didn't know the behaviors my then boyfriend/fiance' was displaying were indicators of major issues to come. I honestly believed that since we both chose to marry, we were both willing to do what was necessary to make our marriage a success. Boy, was I wrong! For example, we participated in a group pre-maritial counseling course and during one of the sessions I was in tears. He was refusing to participating and had done something during the course that resulted in me crying. I distinctly remember the counseling instructor looking at us both, I thought he would have spent time to help coach us through what had just happened, but he looked just as confused as I was and turned his attention to the other couples in the room. Looking back on things now, his behavior during the counseling sessions, remained consistent throughout our marriage of 20 years (Yeah, I held on to hope for a loooong time). My former spouse wanted everything that marriage brought - a good wife and a good life... he just didn't want to have to reciprocate.
I love this conversation, I have a handful of guy, friends, and I hear this so much, we don’t realize how our actions as women, affect the way a man feels, whether in marriage, or dating.
This was sooo heartfelt listening to, especially being an 26 year old male being raised by a single mother of 6 kids, and now dealing with a brake up with a woman that I have two young beautiful children with that I wanted to be my wife and partner… was raised with just a mother figure that wasn’t always home! I’m dealing with finding my identity while still trying to be a man that I never seen growing up… I’m fully accountable with the mistakes that I have made… but it seems to be no common ground. Please if any of you guys can reach out to a young black male that is fully invested into his relationship and strongly wants it to work, I would definitely appreciate it! First time checking out this podcast! And I loved every second of it! Keep going young kings ❤️
A mother figure that wasn't always there???? Maybe she was out working to provide for her 6 kids. Give your Mum the respect she deserves and grow up.
Thank you Doc!!
Love Love Love this! I've known Joey for a long time...GREAT GUY!!! Of course I hate to see any marriage end (been there a few times myself), however, at the end of the day, when you've done all you know to do and THEN SOME, stress kills and so you have to do what's best for you. KUDOS to both these brothers for their true and authentic transparency and KUDO to you Doc for bringing this to the forefront for so many who are having challenges with "moving on" from what was supposed to be "forever..." THANK YOU!!!
Going through a divorce right now… 21 years, y’all really opened my eyes…. Thank you so much 🙏🏻
Thank you Gents for a great interview and being vulnerable
Wow a fantastic topic! Much appreciated 🙌🏾❤️
Great conversation Doc. Do more of these with the men.
I was married twice faithful both times, after twice why be faithful? For what? I swear they take your faithfulness for granted. They think your weak for being faithful it's crazy!!!
U just chose the wrong women hun.
This is awesome to hear! Definitely needed
Appreciate this, bless up🙏🏾✊🏾
Needed this conversation today. Thank you gentlemen
Heeey Joey! You seem so sweet❤. The way you condtioned yourself was great. You didnt know how to choose, most of us didnt learn how to choose. But Im proud of you and your progress.
I appreciate the vulnerability and I pray for y’all healing.
Deep conversation! I appreciate it.
Thank you
Its great to hear men talking openly regards this topic..❤
Hi Joey, I look forward to your healing soon. I'm so sorry that you were hurt like this. Please don't give up on love. We are made to love and beloved. We love you and thank you for your frankness. ❤
thank you
This was great,I really needed to hear this , fresh out of marriage this really helped me out.
Great discussion, my brothers, I just divorced in December 2023 after 22 years of marriage. Some of your experiences were so familiar. It is always encouraging to know that you aren't alone in this space of the road to healing after divorce.
My question is how do
you know that you are healed enough to fall in love again or even get married if you ever do? Some men never get over it and then remarry but it goes down the drain.
The has been so helpful during my transition
Doc Reid, Joey and Charles. Thank you for sharing your experiences in a very transparent, authentic and open way. I understand there may be a second segment. In the next segment, will you answer a few of questions. Did you ask your wife how she needed you to show or express love? Did she value the same things you valued in a marriage? What was her love language and did you love her in this manner?
It appears you both had an idea of marriage, and approached it based on your needs and wants. Did you truly consider her needs and wants?
I appreciate you all’s perspective and I am looking forward to the next segment.
Going through divorce is by far the toughest thing ever, I’m going through it, I’m suffering it.
I’m sleeping it out.
I honestly don’t know what and how to feel.
I try talking to my friends, but surely every single conversation I have with them can’t be about me and what am I going through.
I can hang out with them but later whenever I get home, what am I supposed to do? I want to work out on get jacked up out of the pain, but I don’t feel like I can do it because the depression takes over me.
My body can, but my mind just can’t seem to convince my body.
I know I will.
But I have to bear with myself.
Going through a divorce is just not the easiest thing do go through.
I’ll move out of my city.
Been thinking about moving out of the country, but the way I feel doesn’t allow me to see past my desire of moving out.
It’s a fucked up feeling.
I just hope I’m able to bounce back.
It’s a lot of fishes in the sea.
Hey there mate...i got officially divorced (signed papers) 3 days ago but i was served with papers last year October 2022, so unofficially I've been divorce for a year at least. I can relate to your pain, just know that you'll be alright. It's tough🤦🏾, and you'll grieve but you'll be alright. Keep busy, pick up a hobby, it will help keep your mind on positive things.
Hey, any updates? Are you doing better soldier?
Literally at the beginning stages of my almost 20yr marriage ending...and it's definitely scary and just unfamiliar territory!
You're definitely not alone
Oh Joey…praying for you and your family and everyone impacted. This hurts me to hear…🙏
All too often, we don’t hear a males perspective, unless they are trying to connect with someone new. The forum you have created allows insight into the emotions/pain the men experience too.
Great topic. I appreciate their candor.
Thank you!
Ps. Why Pooh hiding behind the shades?
I wish I had access to this type of leadership
Is this program live streamed?
"Doc" Reid and Joey are two of the greatest brothas on this planet! Love these guys! Shout out to my fellow WSU college-mates!
Ok, I digress...lol. Awesome and insightful video, Reid! Thank you for your contribution, Gentlemen! Joey!! Wassup, man!!
-Trever
What's up Trever! How you been? 😊
@DocReid Doing great! I pray that you have been doing well and good! Keep doing what you're doing! This was an amazing episode.
This has been a revealing episode for me. Sometimes we as men don’t want to open up completely to your friends and family because you don’t want them to treat your spouse differently. Thanks fellas for being real and open.
Joey is a beautiful soul ( handsome too😊)
Im currently separated. It is the most hurtful painful part of my life thus far. I don't see us getting back together
I’m still not ok but God got me
I can identify strongly with Joey. As I go through this process, I would love to connect with him.
What song is this?
Yep! 😂 How's that working out for you? Definitely Doc!
some of Joey's story, is my story too.
I'm still trying to figure out as a man what are the benefits to getting married? The only real argument imo is spiritual. In today's culture, how can a man depend on a woman to be there with him for life? Women are hypergamous. They will find the bigger better deal when it comes along. Not being pessimistic either from what I observe this is an accurate assessment
Unless you want to have kids, don't do it. There isn't much benefited for a man. Going through the beginning of a divorce now with a 22 month old.
There’s no benefit
The benefit is to have a partner to do and share life with. Marriage is not for people who do not have a certain character. And it’s a character builder. If you really want to find out if you’re a good person, marriage will reveal it. Being able to love someone because…and love them in spite of… is what it’s all about. Why grow old without a partner that’s going to feed your or wipe your butt when the time comes. But again, not everyone is built for that type of friendship, companionship, and unconditional love. So if you can find that person, the benefits are infinite. There are more women willing to stick and stay than not, trust and believe.
I don't know why we don't watch the elders. A lot of them laid the examples but we ignore.Some of the elders have been married for twenty-five and fifty years. Just ask them if they're happy all the time. No one is always happy in a marriage. And people get divorced because they're not happy my God! Get get Happy by working on it. Ask your love one this makes me unhappy. What can you do to help.
Amen! Red flag 🚩= stop! I definitely learned that the hard way many times
Funny little anadote BM and I 1st we're leaving a bar and grill. The radio is playing the song. What cha see is what cha get. All I was seeing is the you know what. However I had a great friendship with her we went way to fast into life.
I had a married couple confined in me telling me once they had kids it wrecked the relationship between the two. I have heard this secretly from a few. I think, marriage without kids should be a topic and seen as a choice more. Lots of marriages would be saved. Just a thought
Religious thinking can cover a multitude of red flags.
Its hard and after the second unwanted divorce. I have to say it pretty much destroyed me. My trust having two cheaters and dating two different women that were and ended up being cheaters I gave up. A man just have to give up to much. Women just come out on the winning end. She can get laid every night of the week if she chooses. It costs them nothing to date. We men have to pay for dates and its not our choice if there is a relationship.
That's why i am glad a muslim. No dating allowed or sex before marriage.
It makes the playing field fair for both genders. And a woman isn't allowed to divorce her husband without GOOD REASON or else her chance going to paradise will be at jeopardy.
To have a wife for a man in Islam, you must pay all the bills and not require her to pay anything revolving the housing, food, clothing.
Islam is a game changer if you want peace of mind. You will have to stop the clubbing, alcohol, smoking, pork meat also. It's a way of life system that protects you from bad elements.
I just found myself again
Not saying these guys ain’t good men but they acted like they were perfect in there marriage. They did not take responsibility for anything.
Exactly. Someone with a brain at last
Wow, I was Joey in my marriage
For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Romans 7:2-3 KJV
Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. Luke 16:18 NKJV
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 KJV
So it's OK for a man to physically and mentally abuse his wife?
I feel the same as joey
We overlook the No God give us. Infatuated with love with an marriage n till it's really comes
Hearing some ground noise in the podcast, something isn't right
That bald head man gonna have a whole lotta women clicking to him lol. I can tell he honesty does have a sweetheart but he not healed an definitely still hurting because I hear it n see it n his voice but u lose some u win some I guess
I’m single and ready to mingle… hook me up Doc😊
I wonder did Joey go get his children DNA tested.
Very good episode. My first time watching. Joey is the kind of man is saved single ladies are waiting and praying for. Well, I’ll speak for myself. That’s the kind of man I’m waiting on God for. I pray he gets the healing he needs. Lord do it and suddenly. Hate to see someone hurt from heartbreak ❤️🩹.
Amen