Building a Non-Anxious Life | The Minimalists Ep. 412
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- čas přidán 27. 06. 2024
- The Minimalists speak with psychologist Dr. John Delony about finding peace in difficult times. Watch all 2 hours of episode 412 on The Minimalists Private Podcast: / theminimalists
Discussed in this episode:
Intro (00:00)
How can I learn to be at peace with myself? (01:57)
How can I get back custody of my children? (11:59)
Why do The Minimalists post to social media? (22:20)
What if peace isn’t our natural state? (29:00)
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#TheMinimalists #anxiety #therapy
On a scale of 1-10, how anxious are you?
3, THANK GOD...🙏😇🙏
6-7 😢
7
7-8
5
I sleep in a Honda Civic but I live wherever I want to be. Be anxious about nothing but when I do get stressed I look to God and nature! Faith not fear. Stores, stuff and pointless products are not a part of my life anymore. Just the essentials. Freedom!!
Who is this God people are talking about? I'm asking seriously
And he is the one true living God, God of all, people who talk about him, have a living relationship with him Philippians 4:7 the anxious for nothing, but in all things in prayer and supplication let your request be made known to God. The Bible is a love story to you that will tell you not to toil and sweat for clothing, and worry about food that he will provide all things…. He says if he does it for the beautiful lilies of the valley, and the smallest of birds, he will do it for you, he knows the number of hairs on your head, and his thoughts of you are, as many is the grains of sand and stars, but all creation. He sent his son Jesus Christ for the salvation of all mankind. Jesus said, I am the way the truth and the life. He came as God in the flesh and lived as a man among us, did what man could not do I dying on the cross, sacrificing his life for the Redemption of all mankind. Just ask Jesus to come into your heart and live, and to show you the way, he lived and died to have a relationship with you, he loves you, his grace is God’s provision for every need of mankind.
@@brigittafarkas8069look around you right now. There is kindness everywhere. If you don’t see it…create it, so others can see it.
@@brigittafarkas8069
Stop trolling and get a life
@@brigittafarkas8069Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through him. ❤️
At 3:25 I'm the opposite of this caller. I am perfectly happy being quiet by myself for hours. I actually crave it. I need it.
Same. I need a break from it all
Mer too
@4:24 - as someone who was isolated, housebound, disabled by severe chronic illness for years (previously active and social and living a great life before that happened).... this is a hard truth. While I really needed space/quiet/hardcore rest to eventually be healthy again it was also unhealthy and added a whole new level of mental and emotional stress being so removed from family, friends and community. I survived years of isolation much better than a lot of people would but my healing has certainly accelerated since Iʻve been able to get outside in nature and to socialize a little bit more (just saying hello to a stranger at the store is a potent human connection)... starting to *finally* feel peace in my mind and body again.
I can relate to much to this, I suffered throughout my entire 20’s with a chronic illness that isolated me at home, and there was a day where I was looking out my window, excited to see the mail person coming. I started to cry at how sad that was and how just seeing a stranger makes a difference when you’re so lonely. I have so much more empathy now for the elderly and any other homebound lonely people.
@@beachcruising4607 it sure does widen our perspective and compassion for others doesn't it? Me too with the mail person and grocery delivery person, ridiculously excited to see them! Now that I can go to the store, or for a short walk, I look in people's eyes, say hello and truly acknowledge them, especially if they are elderly or disabled. Not with pity but with respect as a complete person. And also deep appreciation for the tiny joys and small beautiful things in life. There was a certain flower that would bloom outside my window occasionally and I focused on that to keep me going as a long term goal. My recovery is slow but steady now, almost 10 years on. I hope you are recovered and living a full healthy life.
I was diagnosed with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) a while ago, but if I was re-diagnosed today I probably wouldn't have it, or if so, maybe a mild version. What really helped me a lot was creating a regular routine for managing it. Mindfulness meditation has helped a lot, I use a simple book called 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety by Harper Daniels to learn mindfulness practices. Cutting out strong caffeine drinks like coffee has also helped a lot, as well as increasing exercise intensity. It's so important to manage anxiety, to know our triggers.
Regarding that first caller. Also consider the impact of overstimulation from digital/social media leading to addiction. It can be difficult to relax when away from it. There are books on the subject.
Ashley, if you see this, I am sending you so much love. You can get through this. ❤
I dont know. My husband and I are true introverts. We were thrilled during lock down. My husband and I made bread, soup, spent time cleaning and minimizing the house. We cam out renewed. No meetings, no obligations, no annoying gatherings. That said, we had each other. Had I been alone it would have been different.
My wife and i are introverts and couldnt have been more infuriated by the response to covid.
A Dystopian hell. And way too many people (clearly) were OK with it.
Yes, it’s very different when you’re alone, and I have found it challenging getting back to “normal“ since the ending of the pandemic.
I read your comment and it brought the biggest smile to my face. I too am an introvert and enjoyed the time spent at home. It is nice to know that other people were also trying to find healthy ways to pass the time. Bravo to you and your spouse for making the best of your circumstances. Even solo, I appreciated the opportunity to sit back and reflect on my blessings with a heart full of appreciation. I also read books, baked desserts and watched all the movies that I was too busy to see before.
@@user-bd3bx4rh1q Thank you! I knew it was not forever. My house was cleaned out, freshly painted, organized, and we exercised and took up tai chi. My mother and father told me stories (silent gen) of the depression and WW2, freshly off the boat from eastern Europe, and how people had doors taped shut due mandatory quarantine due to small pox (I think it was) and measles. They stood in line for food and even shoe rations with their parents. People were losing everything and dying. They bought defense stamps and got through it best they could. This pandemic was not the hardest time America or the world ever faced. This is why the silents were and are so strong. My husbands family in Korea went through similar things during the Korean war. We act like we were the first to endure hardship. We're spoiled. I'm grateful for everything and I don't have much, beleive me.
As a true INTJ I loved the isolation until about May of 2022, then I was frustrated with the isolation. If I was with a partner, I would not have cared about the isolation either, because I would be involved in my personal life.
I love what TK said @ 34:00...that there is a power/Presence that doesn't change and that peace is about anchoring yourself in that...the Presence of LOVE and radical trust in that Love....which has a name. He my friends is speaking of the unrelenting, satisfying love of Jesus Christ. Thank you TK for that beautiful reminder to anchor our lives in His love which never changes and is the sure foundation for our times.
Yes
Amen!
A chronic anxiety sufferer like me tends to have an overwhelming stimulation when it comes to panic attacks and anxiety overwhelmed, I feel that my attacks can shoot up to a 10 when I do not have enough sleep the night before , or when my toxic dad expects the sink to be cleared that I get a mini anxiety attack, over the years I have tried meditations, journaling, and therapy - that I think this anxiety is in me - I think it really doesn't go away when I am surrounded with toxic family background - and despite purging my wardrobe the anxiousness just gets to me when the uncertainty arises. A reactive mind is what makes up an anxiety sufferer so it doesn't shut up instantly.
I too appreciate delony quote on peace " peace isn't the absence of conflict peace isn't the absence of ahh is all great - peace is are you whole so that you can show up for reality " that really got me thinking. I appreciate this episode thanks for speaking up for anxiety sufferers and I've preordered the book ! Always enjoy book recommendations from Josh.
Is there no way for you to distance yourself from your family? Just like if you had an infected wound that gets stabbed again and again it will be hard to heal whilst you are in that environment - so don’t blame yourself!
@@jennifermeier3873 is abit hard and challenging at this point because im the only caregiver in the family - circumstances do not allow me to - especially when my mum had fell down last year from a roller chair , what I do is that I try to distance through walking in nature if not occupy myself with work. I don't blame myself anymore for the family I cannot choose I have learnt to let go and accept it for what it is - and do the best I can in my own personal endeavours - I always felt that is because of them I can't get into relationships.
I have anxiety disorder and panic attacks too... I only find peace by myself , I can't do meaningless chit chat...
Alone Does NOT equal loneliness, I am lonely around people and in public....escape the matrix.
Awww, what a pleasant surprise to see Dr. John Delony!!!❤️ I like listening to The Minimalist channel and Dr. Delony’s….great combo! 😊I have always helped others allllll my life. It got to the point that people’s cousins and uncles were calling me for help. It added soo much more stress and anxiety. Dealing with my own problems and then some wasn’t working. I had to change my cell number 2xs to avoid people. I have removed people in my life when they just add stress. I have never felt better about that. I am near 40 and learning to say NO. My learning to say NO was and still is hard. I have learned from the Ramsey shows and Dr. John Delony, that people don’t have a say or a vote in my life unless I permit them. And the Minimalist have opened up a conversation to normalize that we don’t need all this junk in our lives…and people can be junk too!
25:06 “Yeah, but it’s not nice.” Dr. John proceeds to gently address the *question. 😂 ❤This guy!
Idk about y’all but I enjoy being alone and would be a literal hermit if I didn’t already have kids, because being around people is EXHAUSTING. I just cannot relate to “needing” to be around others. I know we’re supposedly hardwired to be tribal, but I always just want to be ALONE.
I know others like yourself. Most kind and lovely individuals, but they do get exhausted around family and friends. One is a highly sensitive person and the other an empath. Bless you.
If you didn’t have kids, you might be surprised about how much you would want them.
Not everyone needs to be around others.
A radical trust in that love, a power and presence that transcends conflict, a timeless thread that anchors us amidst the fluctuating conditions of life .. that is peace ... wow TK ❤
As a First Time Listener I was shocked and disappointed to hear (around the 12.30 min mark) the joking, laughing and cackling after a caller described the stress and trauma around the possibility of having her children taken away from her by a gov't agency. I had to log off at that point and not sure if I'll ever be back.
I ditched them after this too. Out of line.
Humor is a coping mechanism, it is a way someone has delt with difficult situations in the past. It was not meant to deminish the callers struggles but to soften the feelings of the ones listening. Some people can't handle hightened negative sad emotions and sit with them.
Thanks for being the whisper in the crowd, so I know I am not alone :)
Joshua, Love the way you spoke about finding the peace within. That is the true place of peace and happiness, now in the moment, not the past or future. Before I began listening to your podcasts, I thought you guys were just about minimalism and couldn't imagine what you were talking about for so many years, but this is so much more and deeper than that. I look forward to listening to your content, very helpful and real. Thank you.
Being recently retired I know now how I was living on anxiety for a long time. As of now I am more relaxed with myself and an inner peace being who I want to be and do what I want to do has become more of normal daily regimen.
TK - you don't have to wage war in order to opt out. Never demand tomorrow's wisdom today. Amen, brother! Also, John Deloney's talk at the end of the maximal episode about his book is incredible
if we're addicted to conflict and view it as interesting or exciting, then someone will get their feelings hurt or worse disregarded. Peace is worthwhile to pursue and preserve. Poking the tiger is inadvisable.
Amazing podcast. That part about non transactional relationships especially. This relates to the PhD I did in trauma informed practice.
Ashley say to yourself this right now is where I am at, but I am not staying here, I am moving and doing things to make my life 1% better every day. If you do this 3 months will go by and your life is 100% better than it was. Just 1% better every day is enough.
Stay strong….everyone 🩷
Loved this x
Love this!
That story by Dr John about his neighbor is awesome. My DAD was that guy. He dug ALL of our neighbors out with his snowblower and now that he passed not ONE neighbor helped my mom and I with ANYTHING. Long Island...neighbors? You are lucky if you get a wave. It's terrible here.
Toxic people give me anxiety. A bunch of them are in my own family who I just created a HUGE BOUNDARY with. Nobody likes boundaries. It gives me peace to be away from toxic people no matter WHO they are.
John has an intensity to him. Watching/listening to him makes me anxious! 🤣
I'm probably a 7 for 8 for anxiety but I've just trained my body for so long to act like I'm about just a 3-4.
I can relate! 😂
There should be a go fund me for Ashley 😭❤️
What does he mentor mean at about 26:00 when he said he's right to stay and free to go.... and then he goes and said the greatest act of rebellion is to go to the crowd and hold your arms like this but then he reverse it and says I'm going to the crowd and say I'm with you I'm with you. This minute is really confusing!
Equalizer 4 is killing me 😂
What’s bad is when your disabled and living in poverty in the middle of nowhere and you literally don’t have any community at all. I have found so often that MANY ppl truly can’t be bothered with someone who suffers Chronic pain or illness or poverty
12:16 Can I please get a jar of pickles Dr. D?
Thank you for the great episode, love listening to Dr. John - he speaks very genuinely
Only a 2 good start today
Start by getting a good guide book on MINDFULNESS
That laugh in the background! 😂
What did he mean at about 26:00 the mentor said he's right to stay and free to go?
❤
my neighbour asked me to borrow a hairdryer once........................ IVE HAD IT !!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAhaha ugh
0. Is that possible?
The first issue sounds like a trauma response. Her body is in a state of flight. I hope she takes time to look into whether this rings true.
My body doesn't like work😂😂😂
I'll bite.
Many quesitons are so dull
Weird pithy comments on the second question about a woman who had serious problems and needs. That was a wasted response to a real issue. Do better.
❤