What Forty Steps Taught Me About Love and Grief | Tembi Locke | TEDxPasadenaWomen

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  • čas přidán 9. 09. 2015
  • Actress and advocate Tembi Locke shares her passionate love affair with her husband and the heart-rending diagnosis that taught her how grief can transform.
    Actress Tembi Locke is best known for her work in television and film. In 2014, she co-starred in “Dumb and Dumber To.” She has also appeared on “NCIS,” “The Mentalist,” “Castle,” “Bones,” “Friends”, and the Syfy series “Eureka.” She will next be seen in the indie feature, “Collusion.” She is also the creator and executive producer of the “The Kitchen Widow,” an inspirational online platform and web series dedicated to awakening our ideas about the “art of comfort” in times of illness and loss, inspired by the illness, decade-long caretaking and passing of her husband. She took the TEDxPasadenaWomen audience through her emotional journey from a grieving widow to an advocate for caregiving awareness.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 73

  • @patmix2012
    @patmix2012 Před rokem +70

    who else is here after watching the series on netflix. her story is beautiful and their love has inspired thousands of people, her husband still lives on with his spirit.

    • @lizzabbott
      @lizzabbott Před rokem +2

      Yes ! I just watched the series yesterday & day before … during the last weekend of January 2023. So good ! It was so beautiful, authentic , & healing. I cried deep cathartic, cleansing tears. Lots of whimsey, romance, laughter & breath taking scenes along the way , too ! I knew nothing about the series when I started. You might say I was Divinely led to it ! It spoke to me and MY own loss
      ( as well as my struggles while in cancer treatment ) deeply. Now I want to buy Tembe’s book : From Scratch !!

  • @Beriabi
    @Beriabi Před rokem +107

    Zoe told your story so well. I cried all weekend .

    • @merek8514
      @merek8514 Před rokem +3

      same here

    • @wendynync
      @wendynync Před rokem +2

      Uncontrollable sobbing 😭💔

    • @bridgetlilly-02
      @bridgetlilly-02 Před rokem

      So so well 😭😭😭😭

    • @Karishmadaspurkayastharicha
      @Karishmadaspurkayastharicha Před rokem +2

      I'm already suffering from acute depression and i have made terrible mistakes in my life regarding my choosing my career and hurting my single mom. I have been so selfish all these years thinking about me and my career. I lost my father when I was in my 5th grade and my single mom gave me everything but I have not yet been able to repay. Instead chose PhD. It sucks it really sucks in India

    • @tracygraham4929
      @tracygraham4929 Před rokem +1

      Me too❤️

  • @sandyj1623
    @sandyj1623 Před rokem +47

    I binge-watched the series From Scratch this past weekend. One of the sweetest love stories I have ever seen. Could not stop crying. So lovely!!🥰🥰💖💖

  • @judyrivers3421
    @judyrivers3421 Před 5 lety +38

    Thank you so much. I became a Widow on February 4, 2019, after being my husband’s Caregiver for 4 years. We got closer than ever during that time and I thank God that I had the strength to take care of my husband during his illness. I couldn’t let anyone else do it. It had to be me. I knew I had to be the one person with him because I knew him so well and I knew he needed me.

  • @lilliansteele7165
    @lilliansteele7165 Před 2 lety +27

    Took my forty steps while taking care of both of my parents along with the help of my brothers during our parent's final illnesses. Tembe is a special person.

  • @user-id6br7vg8h
    @user-id6br7vg8h Před 6 měsíci +2

    "Where I thought I was in for a life of recieving, I realized I was set for a life of giving"
    That just hit me....one of the greatest acts of service she could've gave him

  • @keepingit763
    @keepingit763 Před rokem +15

    Well said! Those forty steps are so hard when you love unconditionally and you are afraid to wake up because of the pain! Thank you for sharing your experience with the world.

  • @vidronin
    @vidronin Před 5 lety +14

    This never gets old, I listened to this when I become a caregiver for my mom, I will take my 40 steps!

  • @ginettegruntmanis5829
    @ginettegruntmanis5829 Před rokem +6

    I can relate to her story as my husband died of pancreatic cancer. It’s been 25 years and 6 months. Our daughter had just turned six only 10 days prior. I let her see, touch and kiss her deceased dad. He’s always in our hearts and sends her ladybugs on important events! It takes time …

  • @jagryn
    @jagryn Před 6 lety +14

    Thank you for putting into words what I could not. It has been 1 year, 3 months and 14 days for me.

  • @tsb8769
    @tsb8769 Před rokem +8

    Tembi, I watched your story last weekend on Netflix.
    From Scratch is a beautiful story of family and love. Thank you!

  • @VincentFulco
    @VincentFulco Před 7 lety +20

    Beautifully delivered. This needs to seen 100x more. I am a fellow widowed person to a incredible soul who I called my partner for 13 years. You nailed the beauty and love (in the midst of the pain storm) that one finds caregiving someone with a terminal diagnosis countless decades too early. Pure love and connection. it scares those who will never know it. Be well.

  • @karimaogden3875
    @karimaogden3875 Před 5 lety +11

    I am currently reading her memoir "From Scratch- A memoir of love, Sicily and Finding Home". I must admit I had never heard of her until I saw a clip of Reese Witherspoon choosing it for her book club.

  • @emilystravens8807
    @emilystravens8807 Před rokem +6

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I cried all through as I watched the movie yesterday because it was like I was reliving my caregiving time with my late husband, 4 years ago. Thank you for your courage!

  • @salaheddinejiri2315
    @salaheddinejiri2315 Před 6 lety +3

    I like the way that she used for presenting the speech it was very amazing and touching and at the first i don't wanna to watch it but i give me a chance and that's the most powerful speech i heard ever.

  • @gretel1015
    @gretel1015 Před 6 lety +1

    As one who has lost a loved one thank you for your story.

  • @katnic8030
    @katnic8030 Před 5 lety +3

    Thank you for your bravery and voice. This talk is important, and inspiring.

  • @ElinT13
    @ElinT13 Před 7 lety +7

    What an amazing and positive woman! Thanks for this lecture!

  • @lizettegratacoswys2958
    @lizettegratacoswys2958 Před 6 lety +2

    The beauty in grief, a love poem

  • @mirikiri9956
    @mirikiri9956 Před 7 lety +12

    Wow this was amazing!!Didn't want to watch it at first cause it sounded depressing but I'm glad I did. It resonated a lot with me! Thanks

  • @carinm.bonifacino
    @carinm.bonifacino Před 6 lety +4

    What a gorgeous well told story. Thank you

  • @gloriamitchell3518
    @gloriamitchell3518 Před 4 lety +1

    I am thankful to have found this TedTalk. Care giving and death is indeed difficult to talk about.Thank you Tembi Locke, I hope I will remember when it is time to take my 40 steps. Exhale.

  • @susiestangland2719
    @susiestangland2719 Před 5 lety +2

    Outstanding! Thank you & I know this is one I will return to watch!

  • @user-id6br7vg8h
    @user-id6br7vg8h Před 6 měsíci

    I remember watching this video over a yr ago while dealing with love and the death of several ppl in my life...gave me alot of strength to handle the lost of loved ones.

  • @Mercy8115
    @Mercy8115 Před 6 lety +4

    Oh God. I can't believe I am crying.

  • @ericalewis3268
    @ericalewis3268 Před 8 lety +24

    Simply amazing...thank you...what I needed to hear.

  • @beckysolomon764
    @beckysolomon764 Před rokem +3

    Thank you so much Tembi for sharing your story ❤❤

  • @diannew6066
    @diannew6066 Před 6 lety +18

    I was my husband's caregiver too. Thank you for this wonderful talk. Even after 6 years I still struggle. I think this will help me to realize I not only lost, but I gained too.

  • @cocoaempress8891
    @cocoaempress8891 Před 6 lety

    Wow, I have no words. This was beautiful.

  • @candynew21
    @candynew21 Před 6 lety

    It is such a touching and inspiring speech.

  • @justfrancine2886
    @justfrancine2886 Před 5 lety +1

    This is so beautiful. Made me cry 😭

  • @hanyrahahleh5604
    @hanyrahahleh5604 Před 7 lety +20

    Love is the only language that every human talk it

    • @danieldaniel-cj3ci
      @danieldaniel-cj3ci Před 7 lety

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    • @danieldaniel-cj3ci
      @danieldaniel-cj3ci Před 7 lety

      le!zlxllxllzñ,zñxldsozpxpxñ
      ñxpxñxñxññxñxñ ñxññ ñññ
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  • @JeremyForest
    @JeremyForest Před 6 lety +1

    Wow! I did not know that her husband passed away. Tembi Locke is an amazing and talented actresses. I definitely enjoyed her story.

  • @elizabethmartineau-marshal341

    Thank you Tembi - Brava!!!!

  • @MauricioPina
    @MauricioPina Před rokem +1

    Amazing story.

  • @EliBartEliBart
    @EliBartEliBart Před rokem

    Inspirational. Thank you!

  • @PositiveWomenTV
    @PositiveWomenTV Před rokem +4

    This is now a Netflix movie I believe.

  • @chanelrenee1344
    @chanelrenee1344 Před 7 lety +1

    Beautiful.

  • @keneti7
    @keneti7 Před 8 lety +5

    beautiful and courageous! Thank you!

  • @Jane-rs2si
    @Jane-rs2si Před rokem +1

    My heart hurts 💔

  • @tanyalundberg1475
    @tanyalundberg1475 Před rokem

    Thank you ❤️

  • @sbrownie
    @sbrownie Před rokem

    Too early in the morning here to be crying.❤️

  • @tanial.williamson8082
    @tanial.williamson8082 Před rokem +2

    I envy her. My parents died within three months of each other and my two biological brothers, sister in law, niece, and nephew turned into hateful monsters. They were in LA and I have been alone in Colorado. I have spent every Christmas since my parents died alone because my biological family is a group of rich, selfish @$$h0|es. And it isn’t just my nuclear family but both sides of that family. They have too much money so they don’t care. It has been 7 1/2 years since my parents died and I am still struggling. I want a real family. I want connection. I want unconditional love. I have never truly had either. I have no idea how to find it.

  • @noelielafleur5975
    @noelielafleur5975 Před rokem

    Best series ever

  • @shineawright2244
    @shineawright2244 Před rokem

    I’ll keep saying it…. SUPERB❤story‼️🤎‼️

  • @aymuammosmiom4091
    @aymuammosmiom4091 Před 8 lety +3

    Well said Tembi.

  • @SXHQQSSS
    @SXHQQSSS Před 5 lety +1

    TOUCHED!! SPEECHLESS!!!

  • @naturallydope6971
    @naturallydope6971 Před 5 lety

    Tearful and beautiful.

  • @PositiveWomenTV
    @PositiveWomenTV Před rokem +1

    The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Nelson Mandela

  • @charliewright3884
    @charliewright3884 Před rokem +2

    The TRUE love story is actually between Tembi and her sister though

  • @GreaseLightning02
    @GreaseLightning02 Před 3 lety

    England, Surrey

  • @immaSwift
    @immaSwift Před rokem

    anyone else just finish up Brene Brown’s 2 podcast episode?

  • @angelmarshall2735
    @angelmarshall2735 Před 7 lety +1

    My brother. Dies how. To. Get over the. Lose

  • @saramcclure6154
    @saramcclure6154 Před rokem

    ❤️

  • @aspen327
    @aspen327 Před rokem +1

    Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Bottom line. She still stay. She took care of him. She could have walk away.

    • @Jane-rs2si
      @Jane-rs2si Před rokem +4

      Who walks away from their husband? “IN sickness and and in health” !!!

  • @lr2075
    @lr2075 Před 5 lety +1

    She is not believable. She seems angry she lost 10 years.

    • @rondaatwater6549
      @rondaatwater6549 Před 4 lety +7

      No she doesn’t.

    • @candygirl20048
      @candygirl20048 Před 4 lety +15

      Nothing about her or this speech seems angry. Seems like you are projecting.

    • @shirleysheikh8119
      @shirleysheikh8119 Před 3 lety +8

      Tembi's talk was genuine, inspiring & uplifting. God bless her & her daughter.

    • @MrsFKS
      @MrsFKS Před rokem +1

      Sounds like projection. She comes across loving, heartbroken and earnest. Caring for a dying spouse is not easy and she’s admitting this

    • @kmoney9112
      @kmoney9112 Před rokem +2

      Are you ok up there ? She’s obvious has some anger as well. I would be angry 😡 & everything else under grieving if I lost the loml! Are you nuts ?