Fentanyl Addict interview-John
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- čas přidán 15. 12. 2022
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of John, a fentanyl addict on Skid Row.
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Started opioids when I was 14. Got hooked on fentanyl 4 years ago but I broke free from those chains and I’m not 6 months clean I’m 25 now
Good for you!! I've been there. Three years clean now and slowly, and I mean slowly, tapering off suboxone. I never want to be dope sick again. You got this!! 💖👏👏👏
@@baublesanddolls thank you! I’m proud of you! ❤️
His most valuable lesson was not to hurt others but he needs to take that advice and apply it to himself as well. Sending you all the blessings brother 🙏🏽
A very intelligent man (with great hair, I'm jealous!). I hope you can find your way out of it. Be Strong, John, free yourself.
I agree. He is very photogenic. With that gorgeous head of hair, piercing blue eyes and trim physique he could be a model. I hope he finds a way to turn his life around.
I paused at 5 minutes to comment.
I'm such a terrible addict. I love the opiate feel. I could go way back, but. The reason I felt compelled to write this, is.
I am going to try to quit alcohol today.
I have tried so many times.
I quit methadone (like 37mg for 11 months) cold turkey.
I was broke, my car was breaking down, I pushed anyone I loved away. It was literally my last $30 for methadone or food.
I know that I can quit alcohol. And I strongly hope more people can get better too.
-thank you
I'm starting to believe it's a GOD thang.or higher beingness thang.the need that drives us to drink n drug is somehow a calling.we van not do it alone by design.
Change your FRIENDS.
Sweet gentle soul. Anyone can get caught in the grips of addiction. Going off of a substance can be pure hell, but he’s done it before and I hope he can do it again.
Very articulate. It's not too late for him. He's intelligent and could easily return to society and be successful
Much easier said than done. You can have all the charm and intelligence in the world but if you lack self worth and have been masking your problems with substances for years it can be a hard ditch to climb out of
When he said its like flipping a switch! Once you flip it, its on and you can't turn it off and you just roll with it is so true! I was an addict for over 20 years, clean 5 and I can totally relate when he said that!
Lots of truths spoken here. Especially about the feeling of discontent …perfectly explained. It took me a few years in prison to learn to be humble and content and I’m thankful for it. I find myself never bored and always able to be positive since I know what rock bottom is like and will never go there again.
Hey Mark, the Joe Rogan interview you did was great and your videos are fascinating. I am in recovery and wanted to suggest that you interview someone who is now sober. Would be interesting to hear how they achieved and maintain their sobriety (AA, Sober Living, Rehab, Detox). I think it would really benefit the interviewee, you and your audience. Thank you for your hard work!
Good Luck on your road to recovery ❤️🩹 I say “road to” because as long as WE’RE breathing…. We will always be in recovery….. 6yrs sober for me….
Do you have to join Spotify to see the entire interview?
@@baublesanddolls I think you can get a free account and listen with commercials.
@@Bammonb on what app
@@Bammonb Thanks 😊
I love how expressive and succinct you are, John. Please reach out to your friend as he may want you to as opposed to not reaching out. I hope you find a way to get sober and stick with it this time, like the warm bed you mentioned. Life will always be challenging but far better than where you are now. We.see you, we hear you, we know you are there. Please return 💜
John, you are clearly an intellect which makes trauma and addiction so much harder to heal. Especially being so self aware but feeling so helpless. It will be worth it buddy. Then reach out and go see about your girl.
This is the realest shit I've ever heard discribing addiction for ppl like me
Edit: Also I'm a IV fent addict
@@shreddednerves he was spot on.
Bro you explained the pain so well. Literally choked up reflecting on everything that happened with me. 6 years sober, still going strong although never cured
The meek shall inherit the earth. That is, those who do not seek revenge. John does not want to harm others, he has forgiveness in his heart. He is on the right path. It’s a hard path. May God bless him.
Damn he seems like a really nice guy
The way he describes things sounds so poetic you almost forget he is talking about a horrible drug addiction. I love the way he speaks, but I also hurt for him to really get off and see that life sober can be a truly beautiful thing, if only he can make it to that other side, sober life is great. Take care, John and please consider getting off for good so you can see what beauty sober is 💙
Hey Pam!👋😁 Sry I’m so late to reply. I was going through the train tunnel. I explained all that in my reply to you under my comment. Anyway, great to see ya and I hope you have the best day.
@@myeyeswentdeaf6213 Thanks Eyes, and no problem, I'm just as late responding to you as well as I was headed to work! Made it safely and have the greatest day! Yes, I got your other message too!
I was on opiates and Xanax + more for 7 years. I’m now sober 5 months going strong. Don’t give up , we do recover! With Gods will , and your surrender to him is the key to sobriety and peace 🙏🏼
Such a handsome guy, too. I hope he can turn it around.
I was thinking, that he could pass for a Gibb brother.
Model good looks, and that head of hair?
John has some great analogies that help me understand how he became who he is now. Makes me sad that people end up like this without truly wanting to.
The man is very photogenic, sad to see people are this bright but lost😢
I feel the something eating at you all the time. I used to drink a lot to try and numb it. I’ve since decided to take my health more seriously. I hit the gym at least 5 days a week. The days I don’t go the monkey gets right back on my back. It’s a blessing and a curse. But at least I’m trying to be positive. I just discovered these interviews via Rogans podcast. It takes courage to even tell these stories.
🥰
We lost my boyfriends brother last year to fentanyl he had been clean a few days shy of a year and relapsed. It is so hard to get clean and stay clean from!!!! 😢😢 these stories break my heart.
I'm so very sorry for your loss! I agree, it Is hard for some to get and stay clean, I have painfully watched my brother use, get clean and repeat for Years and it Still hurts because no matter what I say to him, in the end HE has to end it and be clean for good on his own. Sending my prayers for you, your boyfriend and his family 😥💔🙏🏼🕊🕊🕊🕊
That drug is from the pit of hell.
“Do no harm… every time I’ve tried to get revenge for something petty that someone did to me, it never felt like a victory”
Thanks John I really needed that today. Your worth it dude. There’s definitely something waiting for you on the other side of getting better. I wish you the best.
Good stuff
Dam you changed my mind on getting revenge in someone but I guess I got let it go
Wow. What an incredible description of addiction using the analogy of feeling like you are drowning and just needing air. I actually felt what that must feel like for an addict to "need" to that degree. Such a painful way to live. Incredibly sad.
Everythings loud and intense when ur withdrawling trust me after u get passed that u feel like a million bucks and realize how down bad u were.. your worst day sober is usually 3x better than your best day high being a hardcore fetty addict
Thanks for these real life interviews, Mark. Mental illness is always involved with addictions, especially drug addictions. I pray for John and anyone struggling with such a dangerous addiction.
What a smart guy, love the way he puts words on those feelings.
Awww.. poor guy seems nice. I pray he can overcome all of that🙏......
Please don’t give up on yourself John. Do the work and become who you were always meant to be. 🙏
“ I’d learn to be content with whatever is happening in the world” we could all do with learning a lesson like that. Amazing !
Praying for this man’s recovery 🙏🏼
He reminds me of an old friend. Sending strength heartfelt good vibes to this man. Praying for a miracle. 🙏
He's so expressive and matter-of-fact and surprisingly self aware. I sincerely hope he finds the motivation in life to get clean and stay sober. I was a fully functioning opiate addict for 10 years of my life under the guise of "pain management". We can and DO recover. ❤️
When do we recover? I'm just wondering because people say they do recover yet people with 20 30 years say they're recovering. So when do we recover?
@@endtimesninja1235 technically once an addict always an addict. But I've been clean and sober and building a wonderful life for myself for the last 15 years. There is no cookie-cutter answer to that question. When you recover is entirely up to YOU.
@@Heyheyrayeraye If I had to recover for 20 years I'm not going to make it. I need something more solid than that. I need to recover quickly and I just don't see that sense of urgency in people that so called "sponsor" addicts these days. Ive got 10 years myself but based on a daily reprieve, a day at a whack I recovered about 9.5 years ago. Thank God I had someone recognize how fucked up I was and what I needed to live.
@@endtimesninja1235 me too, we are very lucky. I wish only the best for you. Stay strong. ❤️
@@Heyheyrayeraye same God bless
All the best John. You clearly have a good heart. I hope u get help that u need. God bless u
I'm worlds apart from you John in age and life situations but somehow, you've given me some understanding on my own challenges. Thanks!
Sending prayers for John 🙏
Everything he said resonated with me 100%. Thank you for sharing yourself with us 💗
Yep. Hope I can stay clean.
This was so honestly intelligent
i would likely not have guessed. are you still an addict?
He describes it very well; ''you never knew who much it weights untill you have it taken off''.
That's why we need to cast our burdens on Jesus and learn to rejoice and give thanks for the life we have; rather than relying on people and drugs and alcohol to make us feel good.
“Do no harm”….most importantly to your self John. Best of luck to you.
His honesty in his interview is amazing it is a massive struggle around the country and hearing his open reasons is helpful.
I've been following your story and videos for a while. You are on to something very worthwhile Mark. Keep doing what you do ✌
He seems so thoughtful and so insightful with a lot of meaningful experiences and lessons to share. Yet at the same time it looks like he's so exhausted and so stuck, cycling through the motions. I hope you find the help you need John and know that the state your life and your mind live in CAN change and shift into a healed, more positive version of the things you value and love deep down
Wow. He is still there he has not lost himself his soul as a person. I hope he one day has the strength to keep pushing through for a better version of himself he deserves it just as everybody else
I bet ALOT of people can relate to how this guy feels with addiction. Really hope him, and anyone else out there, can pull through. I’m pulling for you
John, thank you for sharing your story...so descriptive. I pray you find your way away from this and other opioids. And, your hair is beautiful!
John, pulling your own weight means getting healed for yourself first and it’s OK to sit in those groups to do so. Everyone deserves to live their best life. You’re not taking anything from anybody by healing yourself I hope you can do that
That portrait is gorgeous 😮💨
Thank you mark I fight with addiction my self and depression and lessening to your videos every night to sleep gives me strength and opens my eyes more by the day … you are truly doing something here I appreciate it
This Dude speaks wisdom. Best of luck
God bless you, John. May you figure out your reason to live...and fight like hell to get "free" while learning to cope. We all fear pain...it's what you DO with that anxiety that'll make or break you. ❤ Hang in there.
John, you can make it ! We all love you and are pulling for you !
Hello from Paul in Dublin Ireland 🇮🇪 16 12 2022 great video a very strong minded young man. I best of luck 🤞 to him.
I just can’t believe how people can take a hit of something knowing that this might very well kill them. So sad.
I can, because I’ve been there.
A lot of these people are so eloquent
I completely connected when he said it feels like something is always eating at you and when you take that drink …… I feel that shit man
God bless John. You can really see a light in his eyes. He’s clearly very intelligent and has a bright personality. Sometimes the most sensitive, creative, smartest folks can struggle with addiction bc they feel life more intensely.
Respect, very inteligent dude. I related on every aspect. I was in active percocet/heroin/fentynal addiction for 11 years. Now I'm 3 years and 18 days clean. There is a way out brother. I hope you find it. For me it started with a roommate in a halfway house giving me a book to read called " the untethered soul" by Micheal Singer.
Also, props to this guy for being honest and saying addiction is a essentially lifestyle choice. Probably the most self-aware user I’ve seen. 2:04
When i was really sitting down withdrawling off fetty with a sub rarely and weed and vape… i still had absolutely no hope, thought i was gonna die everyday, couldnt get outta bed, cud barely eat n drink. Im sure i was 1 call away from relapsing and getting my bag from Turk & Hyde but i honestly gave up on it…It gets better guys hang in there
In July, an ENT removed a fingernail sized block of earwax from my ear. I couldn’t sleep for a few days or hear prior to the removal.
It was so utterly painful that I couldn’t even watch CZcams. My doctor told me he had never seen one so big and that my use of q-tips every morning caused it. Told me not to use them anymore.
I vowed to never use them again and didn’t for close to two months. and here I am in December a few months later regularly using them most days.
I don’t remember the pain or my ear impaction. And right now the satisfaction of a q-tip is worth it.
When he said he's just hoping for the best, that was very sad to me
Love your community and the dignity you share with these folks. I had a horrible 79 yrs. I thought about sharing my story. My son is a producer in Beverly Hills, so I respect him so I do not.Even though he and I are not close. He married a beautiful with beautiful family. They don't care for me. So whatever. I never did drugs, never prostituted I've never been homeless however, looking for love with no idea what love is. I got pregnant against my wishes cause of not using birth control. I told him but oh well. I got pregnant that night. He left that next day . He Canadian, Jew. I've suffered but never got dirty or nasty. Worked all good jobs. I'm messed up due to pedophilia. Which I fought and bailed on my 18th birthday. I wanted a better life. I had no tool no lessons. I only thought bad things happen to bad people. I admire your videos and have learned pain is pain and kept on trucking. You do such a wonderful job with your interviews. True respect. I saw your interview with the blogger. He's young and less impathetic, and objective as yourself. You've got a wonderful career! Keep peeling the onions. Love you, Minnie.
John: I don't know if you'll come here to read comments, but I'll leave one just in case. You have never been and will never be a disappointment to me. I love you and hope you get the peace and happiness you absolutely deserve my friend. -Lana
"Because it's not that bad.... right now". What good insight.
I've watched a ton of these videos and have never once heard anyone mention trying Naltrexone/Vivitrol to get off opioids (not Naloxone/Narcan, it's different). Might be because it doesn't feel good (?), maybe it's considered too risky for hardcore users? I'd really love to understand why. Best of luck to you John
Wow he describes opiates perfectly
You sound like a good dude. Sobriety is the greatest gift you can give to yourself my friend.
John, you’re such a nice guy! Such a shame you can’t reach contentment. I completely understand what you mean and empathise. You made addiction real, I’m keeping mine reigned in, it’s a challenge. One day at a time ❤
Have a lot of respect for this guy. Great interview.
Dammm so genuine. Sorry for unfortunate situations way your life path took. Mannnnn your so worth it. Wish you the higher power I believe you will .❤️🙏
He will COME to believe a higher power.
This guy's description of the addiction is spot on.
You can do it John! Get help before it’s too late. Much love 💕
Something about John's interview made me more sad than a lot of the others. I don't know why. John, I hope you can get out of this.
Like so many on this channel this guy's life has an expiration date. Much sooner than God intended.
The description of heroin would draw anyone in.,, but finishing a day of work after you force yourself out of bed & have a successful day is BETTER. Work hard & love harder.
Faaaacts u live n u learn
I've heard that warm cozy feeling story about Heroin how it's such a euphoric high and w Fentanyl I've heard there is no euphoria or pleasurable feeling you're just out unconscious?
Yea fentanyl jus numbs the shit outta you, your heads down n ur drooling only cuz the person ur sitting next to is checking u..fentanyl makes heroin look like vitamins n vegatbles the side effects of fetty make u loose ur mind n kill u physically shit heroin never did even after years of use… i was a former opiate addict did the oxy to heroin to fent thing all about 10 years.. just got sober april 20th this year
There is euphoria with fentanyl but its just so intense and short lived… everybody loved heroin cuz u cud use before work n be good all day… sure fetty gets u higher but your paying for that with side effects with this synthetic stuff… poppy grown pure heroin is where its at imo if u had to choose one only cuz the synthetic is nastyyyyy on the body
@@Sc_g650 I don't like weed makes me paranoid and I definitely don't want to feel numb or unconscious, like you said we have natural receptors for that.
I wish you the best. My brother didn't mean to die either. He would've been 31 this year. We are all still here suffering.
Very interesting, just knowing these people are human being, dealing with so much....I pray for all of them , especially the one with good heart.
Thank U for another video✔
This is the best channel I have ever seen on addiction and the stigma associated with it. I want to reach through the video and Love on them. These poor souls are sick with a hideous disease that is not completely understood and instead of shunning them we should be embracing them. Let’s erase the stigma with Love and gentleness.
Instead of running from them let’s run to them with open arms and validate them. Let’s get to a point where there is no more ANONYMOUS and shame associated with addiction. It’s obvious these people deal enough with guilt and shame which leads them down a pathway they rightfully don’t want to go down. Let’s make the pathway a loving inclusiveness worthwhile non judgmental road for them.
Thank you for this much needed video channel because I have totally changed my perspective on addiction. Never give up on your Love ones suffering NEVER!!!! Fight like hell for them. Love them until they can forgive and love themselves.
John made it! John is alive in this interview! Even though I can't hug him, I know the pain, anguish, the daily struggle. My only brother lost his only son to Fentanyl overdose. Andrew gone too soon. My brother passed away from cancer. I hope all of you get to have that hug, that contact, those words, "I love you," before parting ways. Hope. I pray every day, gives me strength to go on, to talk with others telling me their loss. John, where ever you are, my prayer for you.
🧡 wish him health healing and peace
i really resonated with him 😩 i started using blue m30s in july … within my first 10 days of using i overdosed 🤦🏾♂️ … since then i was able to cold turkey for about 20 days after getting out the hospital but the craving coming back in your head the longer your sober …. i ended up quitting again cold turkey this time for about 45 days … but once again the cravings got the best of me … now i’ve been using for about 3 months straight with one 5 day break … i’m waiting to get treatment with suboxone soon .. i’m 21 years old and i don’t want to lose my life to drugs mannn😩 mark is the greatest for letting people see how people in society especially california are really living
It's not going to be easy but you can do it if you really want it. Do you have any hobbies or interests you can dive headfirst into? That's what helped me kick meth for good. You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Good luck, man.
I’ve watched many interviews of people hooked on drugs but this guy in particular really struck a string with me in how he describes the hardships through metaphors. John is no doubt an intelligent person, I hope the best for his recovery and hope he makes it over the hump
Take care John, God help you...life is beautiful....
Yup two weeks is all it takes to get hooked on opiates. Ppl don’t realize that. They think they’re just on a bender of some new drug, but then when there’s no more it hits them like a ton of bricks.
Life in general is a battle and challenging mentally and physically and we all have past traumas . Just living can be too much for some people to handle. Everyone has a sad story they can use to blame why they do drugs but end of the day you have the power to make choices. This problem isn’t fixable. We can’t do anything . It’s up to them to change.
He has beautiful hair.
I've yet to meet anyone on fentynl who didn't genuinely want to get off of it. John I'm telling you it's possible. I have a year coming up 12/27. God bless
Thumbnails deceptive you are a fantastic artist the images wow
Oh my gosh the warm bed comparison is perfect. I used to compare it to being extremely thirsty and finding a working water fountain. For me, I just didn’t have enough money to use and be comfortable in a nice house too, that’s why I quit like 10-12 or more years ago. Without a habit it is kind of uncomfortable to use, for me, it would be a lot of itching and barfing for a couple days if I ever went back… not gonna do that. Something changed in me after 5 years or so off, I remember the love that dope provided but I don’t want it anymore. Good luck.
This is nice smart capable dude. I really hope someday he finds his way out of the hell he’s in.
He is such an old soul.
i hope to see John here again
Don't leave.keep coming backkkkkk
He's so smart and could be so productive. He needs that psychic change though. I hope to God it comes in time.
Fentanyl is so hard to get off of and expensive. People say he doesn’t look high but it’s because he’s literally doing it at this point now to just not be sick and feel normal
"When you're off of it, you feel like you're drowning." Well, you are drowning. First remove your denial. Then suck it up and deal with the misery. A lot of addicts also need to understand that they have underlying cognitive problems like adhd and ocd. Even without the hard drugs they'd be acting compulsively.
John, thank you for considering the well-being of your ex.❤️
This is what my friend who overdosed was trying to tell me before he died 💔
Mark, I heard you on JRE talking about stopping interviews with drug addicts. I agree, the world doesn't "need" another video highlighting stories of addiction. What we do need is videos highlighting stories of RECOVERY. As a person in long term recovery, I try everyday to break the stigma associates with addiction and I do that by sharing about my recovery. There are approximately 23 million people in recovery in the US and with addiction being the most serious public health crisis of our lifetime, the recovery movement could really use a platform like yours.
It’s so sad, because mental illness is driving the drug consumption. But then the addiction takes on a life of its own. So he needs a dual diagnosis, long term type of rehab. Not 30 or 60 or even 90 days. He needs a year or even two and a lot of patience, love, reconnection, job training, etc. That costs a lot of money and emotional investment. When will our country learn what these people really need to get better? I wish you peace, health, love, and healing.