How To Heal Your Grief By Changing Your Story | David Kessler, Grief Expert
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- čas přidán 26. 06. 2023
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Grief is about your heart, but your mind can take control by creating stories.
Remember, the events do not change: death is death and divorce is divorce. Facts are what happened, without anything added. Yet, your mind likes to create stories to find reason and meaning in the events. How you tell your story can change.
You are not the author of the facts, but you have the power to change the story you tell yourself and other people. That’s where you have some control. You are not powerless in your pain.
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I like how you always give examples to clarify.
One amongst a million… how could someone even be able to have a therapy session with him. Grief is the hurdle I can’t figure out. Or at best conceptualize. A message we all need to hear. And how special to break it down with such a wise person.
I’ve had 8 people close friends and family members pass away in just four years. I got another funeral to attend soon. Great video
This man is helping me , thank you sir
This video is so much better then the grief meetings I’ve been going to
So true
This has really helped me reshape losing my mom and my son quitting talking to me. I'm forgiving myself and moving on. Thank you.
OMG! Story of triumph!!! Just the piece of the puzzle I have been searching for to reenter my life and society in general. Thank you David.
Thanks,Mr David .My. Husband passed away 8-2023, three kind of cancer, God, and you have helped me so. Married 29 years. People who don't understand ,fight you and some don't even listen too what you say. Love you. Negative people Will always be around ❤. Don't become bitter, that's not what your love one's won't for you.❤
Yeesss same here! 20 years together! Sudden death 8/23, the most brutal day of my Life. We need more Love around.❤
This guy makes a lot of sense. The first half of the video about the story we tell ourselves and our old wounds was especially helpful.
So much information,not the same ole 5 or 7 steps but deeper ways to self help
You gave too many examples to get your point across that I got completely lost. My "take away" from this is :
1. I am grieving the recent loss of my only son and simultaneously grieving the recent loss of my two pets.
2. Now, in addition to these losses, you conjured up the fact that I STILL grieve the loss of my 10 miscarriages even though I am now in my 60's.
3. All of my losses in life remind me "that I was never good enough for anything ".
Great 👍 now you want me to think of something "positive " about all of that.
IF I could do THAT, I would magically be healed and not watching CZcams grief videos at 2 am.
Do I sound "angry"? Of course I am angry. That's the problem. I am angry, broken hearted, and am in complete denial over my son's death ALL AT THE SAME TIME and cannot separate any of it.
Thank you David, I didn't think I could surmount the painful events of my life. Your tools have given me hope and I see that it is possible to overcome loss, and live a happy life!
I think David is sincere and has much to offer."D" I am sorry for your loss and hope you find some places of equanimity to rest.
This was refreshing
Very much appreciated this video. Thank you
This man has helped me so much
The story can change. Yes. Thank you 😢
This is a beautiful and helpful video shared in a very matter of fact, yet compassionate and authentic approach.
You're so awesome. I wish I could book a private session to discuss recent traumatic events in my life. Ty for your insight, knowledge, & examples.
I just loved the way David explained all this. 👌👌👌. So, so easy to understand
If it's hysterical, then it's historical. That gave me deep pause, and i hope i can reframe my loved ones' seemingly irrational outbursts in difficult moments. Perhaps we can uncover, heal, and grow
I had to write that down. How profound.
Excellent haven’t thought of it that way as I’ve recently gone through grief and trauma and have been working towards deeper self awareness yes my story has the silver lining but it also brings me to deeper understanding as I have two grandchildren with mental disorders I deal with daily. It’s tough a lot of days but I find joy in the little accomplishments that present
THANK YOU DAVID ❤
Thank you David I learn so much from you already.
This is soo helpful. Thank you so much.
Very helpful thank you!
I love this video and appreciate you beyond measure 💜💜💜🔥
Lost my 14 year old son, Branson 😭
What is a person to do when there is no upside? There has been no upside. My life has stopped.
Hi
its really great vedio
Rhythm
I have been to a relationship for 13 years.. my whole world was confided in him.we are married and one day i just woke up and he is a different person and sees this woman.. i feel so betrayed i dont know this is going to happen.. i am thankful for this David.i would love to ask your opinion for me to continuously move on.
Who was that drunk Irish Poet who said, "During the dark night of the soul it is always 3am."
I can't get through losing my Mark. Heart is broken 😢
When I meet my new psychiatrist and friends.there's 3 things were not going to talk about (mom,mamaw, papaw,) they were fantastic people is all I'll say when they ask. Then I tell people to drop the subject.
This last loss of a relationship told me that I ignored my intuition/gut. Now the thoughts are so intense, they don’t even seem like my own. I got so wrapped up in my parents world that I don’t remember much of being with my own family while with them. Damn shame. I don’t want to think about anything at this point.
David how do I sleep......I am tired of taking drugs like klonopin and gabapentin....help!
Meditate
Is a beautiful way to relax and sleep
Leave it on all night 🌉
I have lost my two brothers three years apart both at a young age. Few years ago my only living sibling my sister passed away. Recently my mom passed away. I’m extremely heartbroken, depressed from the loss of my mom now. I know this all takes time. They say time heals a broken heart. I don’t agree with this.
I heard that time doesn't heal all wounds. But it allows you to learn to live with them.
Hello, we have similar losses. I’m sorry you suffer. I’m sorry I can not take that pain away.
I hear you. (I buried 2 sister, my dad, my husband, my therapist of five years died too). I was abandoned by my mom at seven, she left us kids with a violent heartless man
It’s better if I just never was.
Old wounds coming up again.
Wauw❤️
? Assume u meant to say validating
If your alone,, do I talk to myself,, is that ok? This is different ,, my grief has killed me.. no one wants to hear that.
Dear Rose, I hear you. I feel the same. ❤
This is all been exceedingly invalidating. 8:11
How do you trust a guy who does a participatory exercise about grief that involves losing his son (sorry, it is horrible as I lost a son too) and then somehow weaves an advertisement for his book into it. He even circles back and says what year his book was published.
I hear you that it can seem that way regarding his book. I haven’t watched one CZcams video from an expert where they didn’t try to sell their books. They can’t do everything for free.
I lost my son a year ago and David Kessler saved my life. I have trusted him with my survival through this journey and he’s always been there for me. Book-selling aside, he’s a caring, authentic, trustworthy guide through this brutal journey. Give him a chance. He’ll change your life. Sending you much love David ❤
If an author truly believes in the benefits of his book, and how it can help people, why would he not refer to it? Selling doesn’t have to be selfish
his books and utube videos definitely helped me get through the first 6 months of my grief. David Kessler books helped me out of severe depression.
Take the parts that might help and leave out the rest. ❤
I was referred to David Kessler's work by my therapist and my late son's mother. In reading through these comments, he obviously has been able to help many people with profound grief. I do not want to neglect that fact and deter people away from him who will find hit work helpful. In other words, I do not want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
There have been unique experiences that I have undergone in losing a beloved son in his 20s. One thing is that I a find the experience of grieving at this level, and finding someone that can steer me through the loss, to require a great deal of trust. During this period, if I find one to be the least bit authentic, I have an intensely negative experience. Even if most of your work is great, as a therapist and an author, myself, I struggle with anyone with dual agendas with the topic of grief, particularly if they involved self promotion. If David could stick to the great qualities of his work an not have another agenda going on, I think he would have an ever larger impact.